In doing some research the other day, I happened across the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCCADV) website and discovered some information that while not surprising, needs to be available to men and women and their families in North Carolina.
To learn more about what the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence is NOT telling you: http://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/08/10/judy-chaet-operations-director-turns-her-back-on-some-violence/
If any of you have been reading my prior posts, much of the information in this one will be redundant. However, the main goal of this article will focused on putting the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and their staff at the top of the search engines where more North Carolina men and women and their families can learn how this organization seems more interested in gender and sexual politics than ending violence for everyone in NC. In what is literally a slap in the face to men, this coalition states the following about the causes of domestic violence on their website:
We believe that patriarchy, gender inequality, and all oppressions play a central role at the individual, institutional, and cultural levels in creating and maintaining an environment which accepts domestic violence. We believe it is vital to understand and advocate for the elimination of all forms of oppression, including, but not limited to: sexism, racism, and homophobia.
We believe it is critical to serve all domestic violence survivors, regardless of race, age, class and ethnic group, sexual orientation, gender identity, mental and physical abilities, religious and spiritual beliefs, and immigration status. We know oppression comes in all forms and leads to secondary issues for survivors; we will strive to serve all survivors of domestic violence and their respective needs.
You read that right, the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence places it’s central reasoning for domestic violence in NC around patriarchy, gender inequality, and female oppression as the chief causes of domestic violence and places zero emphasis on stress, financial difficulty, substance abuse, marital conflict, or emotional/mental issues. Furthermore, the Coalition lists every single class of people on this planet who are survivors except men. This would indicate that they believe not one single man in NC has ever experienced being slapped, intimidated, or threatened.
Furthermore, the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence went on to state:
We believe that through the power of our shared experiences and collective voice, we can work together to create individual, institutional, and cultural change. We will work intentionally and actively to create safe spaces for survivors of domestic violence. We believe the voice and experience of survivors must be the foundation of our work, and that the domestic violence movement can change society.
Definition of a coalition: a pact or treaty among individuals or groups, during which they cooperate in joint action, each in their own self-interest, joining forces together for a common cause.
How can the NCCADV state that they have a coalition of men and women sharing collective voices and shared experiences if the men in their organization are patriarchal oppressors bent on gender inequality? Or, are these men too stupid to see that they are being used as tokens to make the appearance of a coalition? Or, one could argue that they are there to simply stay in the good graces of federal money the coalition gets from federal and state grants. Either way, it is super irresponsible for the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence to interject common radical feminist words like patriarchy into the narrative of domestic violence rather than focusing on the established causes for this social ill.
In doing serious research on domestic violence, I come across many of the most hard line feminist websites that have their own cherry picked statistics on violence and even they admit to a small fraction of female perpetuated violence, but that apparently escaped the idiots at the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
A Message To Women Supporters of the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence
As stated earlier, I think it is irresponsible for male supporters of this NC coalition to support the executive staff use of the very serious issue of domestic violence in order to advance a political agenda claiming female inequality and oppression that does not exist. But there is another group of even scarier supporters at the coalition. That is women in their ranks who have sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, nephews, and male friends. If the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence is correct, and all social ills are directly related to patriarchy and masculinity, then there are a lot of sons and husbands that just got jammed into a box as potential domestic batterers.
I can guarantee you that not everyone who gives this coalition money and support believes that all their sons and male friends are sitting around conspiring to oppress women. For those within this organization who have sons who have/will get their asses handed to them in the family courts, I hope they remember the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and their support for them.
I am tired of seeing domestic violence coalitions hiding behind beaten women to fund other political agendas. Domestic violence in North Carolina is a very emotional hot button topic that many professional lobbyists and politicians use to broker power and gain votes. “Do it for the children,” they say. What they are saying is “If you don’t support what I am doing I am going to paint you a child hater and abuser in the public.” This is how they quash anyone who asks questions, holds them accountable, or attempts to open dialogue.
I refuse to be held hostage by this political play on words anymore and I am calling out the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence staff as sexist radical feminist that have no intention on ending violence and would rather play politics with peoples lives. All victims of domestic violence in NC deserves better than what this coalition is pushing and I am sorry to see so many Men and Women throw their own gender and sons under a bus just to be part of some sexist political machine.
Additionally, I am disheartened to know that politicians in North Carolina support this coalition and give them the ability to further divide our state along gender lines. If you truly want to end domestic violence in NC, then a new coalition needs to be built – one that is bipartisan, gender neutral, identifying all domestic violence, and using statistical data from organizations that are neutral on the subject.
The NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence Needs To Hear From A Voice For Men
In my attempt to call out the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence, I hope Women and Men who read this will reach out to the executive staff within this coalition and let them know that they are no longer safe to sit in their protected bubbles and push phoney statistics to the people of North Carolina in an effort to drive funding. It is important that we all do this even if not from NC because I will be the first to join in a fight with you against a similar organization anywhere in this world if it means furthering your activism and change on this issue. And, I suspect that the management of A Voice For Men feels the same way.
Lastly, I ask that you share this article with others on the many social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ in an effort to expose groups like the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence who I believe is doing serious damage to many people, and who seem hell bent of furthering ideological agendas rather than ending violence against humanity.
You can make contact with NCCADV and Executive Director Beth Froehling HERE.