11 more reasons for a straight man to avoid marriage

11 more reasons not to marry

In her article “8 reasons straight men don’t want to get married“, Dr. Helen Smith did an excellent job summarizing the popular reasons men say they are postponing or outright declining the many charms and benefits of marriage – well, benefits for gay couples, anyway. With the recent Supreme Court decision dumping the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in favor of gay marriage, we can expect the argument that gay marriage somehow undermines straight marriage will continue to heat up.

In my opinion, this has things completely backwards – straight marriage is so badly and terminally damaged that the expansion of gay marriage will have little impact on the death of heterosexual nuptials – if anything, successful gay marriages will illuminate the many failures of hetero marriage that are causing men to flee from it.

Why is that? I’ve compiled my own, personal list of 11 additional reasons why I avoid marriage, and interestingly, my reasons are largely independent of the 8 reasons identified by Dr. Smith. Some of these reasons are deeply personal to me, but in the hopes that they might resonate with men who are conflicted on the subject of their own marital futures, I offer them up as an additional perspective as to why the single life is preferable:

1. Your wife won’t be able to manipulate you by withholding sex.

While some people (ok, women mostly) treat marriage vows as loose, conditional suggested guidelines, when I make a vow, I’m going to keep it. If it is within the capability of my mind or body, then I am both loyal and stupid enough to believe that a promise is a promise, and that “integrity” includes keeping one’s promises, especially in the face of adversity. So, if I promise fidelity to one woman, by God, the Universe, and Everything, I’m going to keep that promise.

I also have always had a large sex drive – I was hitting on my babysitters when I was 4 years old for goodness sakes. Even now in my mid-50’s the fires of passion still burn hot in me.

The combination of these two factors mean that I would be extremely vulnerable to a wife to wanted to manipulate me by denying sex – I’d have no recourse in law or morality. A man who coerces a woman into sex is viewed as a rapist, but a woman who coerces a man by withholding sex is a feminist hero?

You go, grrl. Out of my house. NOW. And no, I am not going to marry you, bitch.

2. You won’t have to lose your vintage porn collection.

My first college girlfriend got me a subscription to Playboy magazine for my birthday in 1978, and although we broke up my senior year, I collected issues of the magazine until the spring of 1992, when my cohabiting girlfriend at that time discovered them and had an extreme screaming meltdown. She kept screaming for hours as I hauled them out to a dumpster. Then, she withheld sex for six months as a punishment for my transgression. I loved her dearly but her jealousy never waned, and eventually I had to break with her, as I was unwilling to live my life in a constant state of sexual starvation.

3. You can drive any car that suits your fancy.

Until I became comfortable with the notion of Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), I often chose my car with an eye toward the sort of woman it might attract. This left me with several expensive, high-maintenance models that looked pretty but didn’t suit me. I didn’t like the cars, either.

I now drive the perfect car for me – a 2004 Prius with moderate hail damage. My Prius is now old enough and ugly enough that it is a total chick-repellent. The hail damage increases the gas mileage to the point where I can drive from Dallas to Chicago on one or two tanks of gas, perfect for the day I become a MGTOW ghost – and, it is whisper-quiet at low speeds, so quiet that later models had to add faux engine noises for safety reasons.

Of course, if you get married, your wife will withhold sex until you buy her a gas-guzzling, planet-killing SUV so that she will feel slightly safer when she totals it. She’ll hate your car, whatever it is you drive.

4. You won’t have to compromise your religious beliefs, or lack thereof.

Although my mixed-up family has deep Catholic/Lutheran roots, I’ve been an atheist since early childhood. I hear no voices in my head, divine or otherwise. Technically, I think I’m actually a non-coherentist agnostic, in that God-talk is largely nonsensical to me, but when you say “agnostic”, many believers (particularly here in the Bible Belt where I live) take that as an invitation to regale you with whatever voodoo is talking in their heads that day. My inaccurate claim to atheism is safer in the sense that it allows me to be written off as a lost cause without having to engage in gobbledygook.

Women, in my experience, are much more “spiritual” than men, in that their overwhelming anxieties drive them to seek comfort and support through faith. I don’t fault them (much) for that, but I sure as hell don’t want to marry it, or compromise my professed faith to placate hers.

5. You won’t have to watch/hold/carry/rebuild her fucking purse.

Dealing with a woman means being subjected to “female redecoration syndrome” – her constant, endless drive to change both her husband and her environment, and her oblivious dismissal of her man’s reluctance to do stupid things on her behalf. Reasonable things one might be able to work out with a reasonable woman (if such could be found), maybe, but going shoe-shopping with her when she already has a closet full of shoes? No, thank you.

6. You can undertake risky ventures without being undermined by your wife.

8 years ago an artistic entertainment district that I loved was falling on hard times just as my corporate career reached an impasse. So, I dumped my house and job and started my own entertainment business in that district. No woman would have tolerated a man who was as married to my business as I was (and continue to be) – women love commitment until it becomes slightly inconvenient for them. I know this in part because my live-in girlfriend enthusiastically supported my new business venture right up to the point where she bailed out 4 months in.

Now, I can gloat – the district is now thriving and the NYSE-listed corporation I left died in January, and my work has brought me a bit of respect. The girlfriend found a new man, picked up his meth habit, and was in prison when I last checked.

7. Your vacation time is your own.

I dislike vacationing intensely – maybe I’ve got a touch of Obsessive-Compulsive tendencies or some such, but I’m happiest when I’m working steadily and routinely. Vacationing with a wife would be agony for me even if we could agree where to go (no chance of that), and letting a wife vacation without you is marital suicide.

8. You won’t be humiliated in public by someone you loved and trusted.

When withholding sex fails to move you, or maybe she just nuts out one day, but women cannot seem to resist the urge to humiliate their husbands in public, rat on their sex lives, or whatever. Such behavior is a deep betrayal of the trust one should invest in one’s significant other, but I’ve never seen any woman ever be able to maintain the slightest degree of discretion about her husband’s quirks, foibles, or personal secrets.

9. You won’t have to serve as your wife’s proxy thug.

Women love using and testing their men by having them perform acts of violence at their behest – this gives women protection and deniability in the ensuing physical and legal melées. We see echoes of this whenever some feminist idiot wanders in here and demands we do something – anything – to stop rape, or online harassment, or whatever other bug just crawled up her thigh. This damsel-in-distress trope is nothing more than the bullshit manipulation of men; it criminalizes men and robs women of their agency.

10. You won’t suffer the marriage tax penalty – or subsidize her shoe collection.

Marriage is an economic disaster for men – not only in divorce, alimony and child support, but also in a happy marriage. Women rarely deign to marry impoverished men, or even men who earn less than they do. This means that those “lucky” married men suffer double-extra taxation – not only will your wife burn though your money, but the federal tax structure (in the US, anyway) is generally higher for the married than for two single people.

11. You won’t have to suffer her physical assaults on you.

The current feminist culture supports the right of women to physically assault men at any time for any reason. There may be good explanations for this from evolutionary psychology – women hit men when men show some emotional weakness as a way to get them to “man up” in the face of the woman’s need for a strong protector. Men are shamed and discouraged from reporting these assaults, and state and federal laws driven by the Duluth Model of gender violence often result in the arrest of battered men, rather than the women who attacked them.

***

Well, that about covers it for now, except for the shaming: Yes, I’m a selfish, mean bastard. I’m so ugly, stupid and nerdy that no woman would want me. I’m missing out on so much love/personal growth/sex/companionship. I’m probably gay. Or, whatever.

Yawn.

Women are going to have to come to terms with the terrifying fact that men are growing beyond their ability to control. We will be exploited and chained no longer – there is nothing positive in slavery to a woman, and endless suffering. One by one, men are waking up and moving on to places where women cannot follow.

If you see a carefree man skipping off into the forest one day, well, that’s not Bigfoot. It is me.

About August Løvenskiolds

Once he stumbled onto GirlWritesWhat's videos, August Løvenskiolds, aka The Bibo Sez, started eating red pills like they were tic-tacs. He likes debating feminists, but knows this stage will pass soon enough.

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  • Lorne

    Haha – the vacationing thing is the only thing I miss..

  • driversuz

    It’a quite possible that the majority of our readers are also glad you’re a lesbian. If you have something constructive to add to the conversation, welcome. If you’re flying in from the vast ocean of feminist ignorance and smug, deluded “superiority,” to shit on the picnic for the hell of it, feel free to fly right back out. And be careful of the thin air up there – it impedes rational thought.

    • Single and Happy

      Thata girl … reply in the same vein. You’ve just provided more evidence to what is being said about marriage.

  • Unreal

    I’m a woman. I admit I come to these sites to get a laugh and blow off steam, because I work in a female dominated industry and can relate to many of the same frustrations about women with power because I too live it M-F (lack of rational thinking in decision making, personality driven management dominated by cliques and favoritism, changing mind/course often with no apparent reason, vindictive behavior that does nothing to serve the company’s interest, etc.). Let me be clear that I am not saying women aren’t fit for management by any stretch. I am just saying that in a female dominated industry, it’s too easy for the mean girls mentality types to rise to the top by playing the idealist, nurturer card to earn trust, only to get in the role and behave like middle school girls on the playground.

    Back to the topic. I am surprised that what doesn’t come up in many of these conversations is the fact that for the most part, young women today don’t really want to get married. They want their fairy tale wedding. When reality sets in and they see marriage is work, then the party is over. When your wife of 6 months no longer wants sex, starts badgering you on daily basis and strange numbers start popping up in her phone, I think it’s pretty safe to say she wasn’t ready for marriage or didn’t spend any time thinking about the reality of marriage because she was too busy planning her extravagant $30,000 princess party. Do the test–tell her you want to elope and don’t want a big showy wedding. Her response will tell you a lot about her motivations.

    • Tony Trucano

      There is data which states lower cost weddings have lower divorce rates….

      • driversuz

        Not at all surprising.

    • larry

      I agree. Your test is hilarious! Women do want the 1 carat diamond and the theme wedding on the beach or in the woods or on top of a mountain. After that it is a crap shoot for the husband. She then wants to still stay out late at a wine bar with her girlfriends and eat sushi or raw tuna and stumble home drunk. Also the wife wants to still travel to Europea or Thailand to do ecotourism or eat bread and chocolates.

  • Hemminki

    I reccommend the book ‘No more Mr Nice Guy’ by Robert Glover for all guys.

  • Scott B

    Women take their men for granted. This always happens after you get married because the balance of power is transferred.
    Think about it.
    Before marriage men have all the power, because women know you can leave at anytime. Lets face it a good looking man with a great job has a lot of options.
    Before Marriage
    1. Women take care of themselves (you can trade her in anytime)
    2. Girls are inclined to have sex more and get freaky (If they don’t you can find a new one)
    3. Appreciative of what you do (if she is not you can find someone who is)
    4. Virtually no arguing (because you’re not going to accept that behavior)
    5. Minimal effort: (you put in equal amounts, lets face it, guys are always expected to do more)

    After marriage men lose the upper hand because if you walk away it will cost you a lot of money.
    After Marriage
    1. Women let themselves go (don’t need to put in effort, he’s trapped)
    2. Minimal sex, and on her terms. (he’s trapped-he’ll take what he can get. If he cheats, I’ll take his
    money.)
    3. Stop appreciating what you do for them: (women feel they’re entitled and deserve appreciation.)
    4. Arguing all the time ( you’re trapped and women can use sex as a weapon)
    5. Maximum effort (if you want sex you will need to put in a lot of effort. You can only get it in one place now.)
    After marriage, women knows her vagina is a monopoly and you’re forced to play by her rules. No government assistance here. She also has the ability to go years without having sex.

    Having buyer remorse? Tired of the constant battles and no-sex? Its going to cost you a shit-ton of money to get out.
    Women hate pre-nups because it takes away their upper hand.
    She doesn’t want to make it easier for you to walk away when she becomes a psycho bitch (and she knows she will).
    For all the reasons above I will never get married without a pre-nup. Back in the wild west and cavemen days it was easier for men. Women couldn’t treat their me like garbage. They had to accept that this is the way men are and they need us more than we need them. I think in today’s world women have too much power over men.

    • larry

      A shit-ton is write. My brother-in-law divorced his alcoholic wife who was turning tricks in their condo during the day when he was at work, cost him 16,000.00 plus time off from work where he was on call 24/7. He came home early one day and found her in bed with some guy. He got custody of the 3 year old son since she left him alone and he found the son on the floor with an electric iron turned on. She came back about 12 years later and filed for custody (looking for child support )and cost my brother-in-law another 3,000.00. She lost the case.

  • hippecampre

    feminism has created a cadre of women who think they have a right to demand monogamy but not be sexually involved in a marriage. Do not marry one of these people. Within christian marriage this is a sin. Both partners are required to share themselves. Yet another reason why secular marxist philosophy is the death.

  • larry

    I have no idea why a modern day male would ever get married. I notice men who married 20 and 30 years ago became slump shouldered and appeared to have been castrated when he took the heavily amended marriage vows. Essentially he became an ATM with a penis. Shrewd under 40 males have wised up and dodging marriage like the plague.

    Still a few dummies who get hypnotized by the gold plated vagina but pay the price for the rest of their lives in alimony and child support payments after the woman divorces him, his retirement is wrecked.

    Never in this lifetime, but classes for boys should be made to spell out realistically what marriage holds for modern men. At least in my retirement class, the instructor warned any single men that women would zero in on us to tap into our pensions. I have been a vicTim of thst once when a woman asked me out and then complained thst her two prior husbands who she divorced did not leave her any Social Security. She knew I had a Federal pension. She did mention that she tried to put a bear hold on another man and he finally said “Leave me alone, I hate you”. Strong statement but she left him alone.

  • larry

    Yeah. Some rational classes on the pitfalls of modern marriage are needed for men. Entering marriage as a naive male is a death sentence.

  • larry

    Had a 30 year old former coworker who lived with her boyfriend for 10 years. He dodged the marriage question big time. When she persisted he insisted that she pay off personal debt and 100K In student loans. She did and they did get married with a theme wedding. Lost touch and don’t know if their marriage lasted.

  • larry

    I feel for you. I have an acquaintance who is 50 who has just started dating again. He fell immediately for a woman about 8 years older than him. But she prefers snuggling with her cat when he goes to her place and he is a wreck. I already knew that the women pool in our community are feminist or lesbain and cat centric and think of men as an ATM with a penis or have no interest. On the flip side another acquaintance in the community divorced his wife of 30 years after she shut him out replacing him with books. He gave her half the house. He now has an excellent relationship with his son. He found a very compatible woman who is loving and now is very happy.

  • Jodie Johnson

    I have no idea why a modern day woman would ever marry. Sans the fear evident in the article above marriage is archaic. People change. People grow. Some don’t. Why legally tie myself to someone who may not grow at my rate? Finance isn’t a reason by the way, it’s duress. I can’t help feeling trapped whenever the man in my life starts talking forever. Sure marriage is romanticized in fiction but I don’t live in a book. I live in the real world where my career takes first place. My curiosity is more important than a snuggle. I don’t need a wedding vow to feel safe. I create safe. If I can’t I need to work on myself. Of course there are always fears to fall back on; if I’m in an accident a husband who may not still love me has the right to make life or death medical decisions. He could open a credit card or bank account to which I am legally bound. Even the best man in world is going to want important things in his life that I just don’t want. Marriage doesn’t make sense anymore.

  • Single and Happy

    First and foremost: Woman don’t need to have sex with a man. In fact, they enjoy masturbation much more and therefore actually prefer not to have sex with a man. Most can’t climax during sex. This is why men discover shortly after being married that their wives are no longer interested in having sex with them. It has nothing to do with her libido. She just doesn’t want to have sex with her husband once married. It’s a clap trap men walk blindly into.

    • driversuz

      “…actually prefer not to have sex with a man.”

      Bullshit.
      Go away, Troll.

    • driversuz

      You have been banned because of a serious and direct violation of Comment Policy (trolling). [Ref: 5672]