rear-view mirror and dashboard

Feministing the women of Good Men Project

A special note to the women who own, operate, and especially the women who read The Good Men Project: you’re becoming as irrelevant as Feministing.

In terms of overall traffic to the site, Feministing was passed up earlier this year by A Voice for Men. Now Good Men Project is in our rear view mirror, too.

The web site known as The Good Men Project started a few years ago with something on the order of a half million dollars of seed money, advertisers, and a paid staff of fairly significant size. Ostensibly set up to discuss men’s issues, the project was dogged from the beginning by gender ideologue sensitivities, and over time has deteriorated into nothing but the same stale pap we’ve come to expect from most mainstream media outlets: fawning over women, and mewling apologism for the supposedly inferior character of the average male today. The message wasn’t, as some of us hoped, about what’s good about men. Oh no. It’s become pretty obvious what it really is: turning young men into a “project,” to shame and goad men to be “good,” as in “good little lapdogs who never offend anyone, especially women.”

Indeed, as time went on, The Good Men Project only got worse, as the voices of women, as well as men, who are in any way critical of modern feminist discourse, or who just plain defend the right of men to be themselves without apology, were shown the door. Those who actively defend males and maleness routinely have their submissions rejected, and even the voices of women who are critical of the demonization of men and the infantalization of women are quietly purged from the records. Anything that might offend the dominant gender discourse is verboten at The Good Men Project, and it shows very well to anyone who bothers to look. Despite its editor’s claims to the contrary, open advocacy for males and criticism of dominant feminist ideology, let alone any sort of criticism of modern women, is taboo at The Good Men Project.

Indeed, the “let’s not hurt anyone’s feelings except men’s” deterioration of The Good Men Project shows so well that yesterday, A Voice For Men, having already blown past media darling Jessica Valenti’s Feministing earlier this year, just passed the well-funded Good Men Project in the Alexa worldwide rankings as well. A Voice for Men is now more than the the #1 men’s advocacy group on the internet, and the #1 men’s advocacy site in the world. I mean yeah, sure, we’re both of those things. But we’re also now better trafficked than gynocentric, man-shaming sites like The Good Men Project even though they have far more mainstream media respectability and funding clout. Even though we work on nothing but donations and with more than 90% of our work done by volunteers, we’ve blown past “professional” publications working with venture capital and ad revenues and fawning writeups in major mainstream publications.

Now why is that, Feministing readers? Why is that, you women of The Good Men Project?

You may wonder why I keep mentioning the women of The Good Men Project. Well my dears, there’s a reason: if you’re a woman who reads The Good Men Project, that makes you typical of their readers. While you sit there wondering where all the “good men” are, and hoping to find them at TGMP, you’re spending most of your time with your fellow women. As a rule men don’t give a damn about The Good Men Project. For the most part, it’s mostly just written for, and read by, women like you.

A look at the publicly available data on The Good Men Project shows the damning truth: most of their readers are well-educated, female, and childless. Not that it’s shameful to be educated, or childless, or female. But that’s who most of you are. Even those of you who have children are likely single mothers. And that paints a very sad picture for you, and everyone who bothers reading that site, because it tells us the likely reality: you’re mostly a bunch of women wishing you had good men in your life, and hoping they will help you find one, or will help you somehow mold the men in your life like pieces of clay until they become the men you want.

I hate to break it to you, honey, but: it won’t work. The Good Men Project is pandering to you. They’re telling you what you want to hear, what you want to believe, rather than telling you the truth. They want to tell you you’re a poor persecuted victim, who is at the same time as good as or better than any man at anything, and that men who don’t measure up to your standards are inferior. Meanwhile, most men won’t bother even hanging around, because all the Good Men Project says to men is that their experiences, needs, dreams, and ambitions mean nothing, or are only meaningful when they meet female approval, and that men must subordinate their interests and their feelings to the feelings and interests of women like you.

And most of all, they expect men to apologize to women, for anything women happen to be irritated about at the moment.

Like Feministing, the Good Men Project doesn’t give a damn about telling young women that relationships are truly a two-way street. Yes, men should care what women want, but the wider culture already tells men that. It tells men that endlessly. And for the most part, historically, most men have always cared about women and what women want. What The Good Men Project won’t tell you (and what Feministing-style web sites especially won’t tell you) is that what men want matters every bit as much as what you want, and men are sick and tired of apologizing for saying what they want. They’re also sick and tired of having to lie when they’re asked about it.

In fact, arguably, in the current legal and cultural climate, what men want may matter more than what women want. Why? Because the world is full of single women whining that they can’t get a “good man,” but is also full of men who are increasingly saying “fuck it” and not caring. When faced with the fact that men are increasingly indifferent at best, ideologues of various stripes respond to by trying to shame men into being what men are “supposed” to be–supposed to be according to the ideologues–rather than doing the sensible thing and just asking those men to honestly say what they want, and asking them to be honest about why they no longer seem to give a damn what the world in general, or women in particular, want from them.

Almost no one ever just asks men this–or when they do ask, it’s a loaded question they’re afraid to answer. The browbeating gets old, and most men want no part of it.

Indeed, gender ideologues often grossly mischaracterize what modern men say about their experiences, stereotyping the crap out of them and never even bother apologizing for it. Oh, but it’s not just “liberal” feminists who are in the business of trying to shame men into being what they want them to be, conservative ideologues love doing it too.

Now put yourself in men’s shoes: why wouldn’t you say “screw that and screw you” too?

Let’s face it, you ladies of The Good Men Project (because, once again, we know most of you are women; men mostly don’t read The Good Men Project, because they have no reason to): in this society, being female makes you the privileged one. Schools have greased the skids to make your life easier, workplaces all over the country have greased the skids to make your hiring and promotion easier than it is for men, laws and policies are in place everywhere to protect your delicate sensibilities, and still all you can do is whine about how tough your life is and how oppressed you are because of the choices you made.

Nobody gives a damn about men’s higher unemployment, men’s higher suicide rate, men’s higher work-related death and injury rates, men’s downward spiral in education, men’s growing health decline compared to women, men’s desires, men’s civil rights in family and criminal courts, or the children who desperately need their fathers but are denied them by selfish single mothers and a socipathic family court system, or the men in debtor’s prison who are broke and destitute and put there at the hands of a system that doesn’t care and claims to be acting in “the best interests of the children.” No one over at The Good Men Project much wants to talk about any of that if they can avoid it. They don’t much want to talk about paternity fraud either, even though it’s another good reason why a sensible man should think twice before even having sex with you, let alone a relationship.

Even when these people grudgingly admit that there’s a problem with fathers not being around their children, no one wants to talk much about women’s role in that, even though it’s patently obvious to anyone with a brain that the #1 thing keeping most men away from their own children is those children’s mothers. Well, that and a family court system that enables psychopath mothers to get away with such child abuse. (Those courts enable other kinds of child abuse too. By the way, did any of these sites you’re reading ever tell you women commit most child abuse and most child homicides? I imagine not. But they do you know. Does telling you that hurt your feelings? Ask yourself why, and why it should matter that it hurts your feelings if it happens to be true. And it does happen to be true. So much for the brutal man stereotype, huh?)

No, no one you’re reading over at The Good Men Project dares speak up about these things, or if they do it’s only in the most delicately couched, careful, “sensitive” terms designed to “protect” you from thoughts and ideas and facts you may need to hear about. And why are they so cautious about bringing these things up so carefully, if they bother to bring them up at all? Because the person who cares least about these things apparently, is you. They assume that about you anyway. They assume you would prefer to believe that men are the privileged class, when for decades now it’s been the other way around. In fact, if you’re like the typical reader of the Good Men Project, you’re female, under 35, and have lived in a world not just of legal equality but of legal superiority for your entire life. Which may come as a shock to you, but is true nonetheless. And they assume you’ll be incensed at being told that, and avoid bringing it up.

They don’t really think much of you when it gets right down to it, do they?

Now here’s an interesting thing the statistics also show: not only is A Voice for Men now a more popular site than The Good Men Project (or the even more irrelevant, man-hating site Feministing): A Voice for Men actually has more gender symmetry.

That’s right, there’s a bigger female readership at A Voice for Men than there is male readership at The Good Men Project. AVfM also has a boatload more female readers than a lot of feminist web sites, in raw numbers if not percentages. Most of our readers are in the same age range as The Good Men Project, 18-35. The big difference is, The Good Men Project is mostly read by women like you, whereas A Voice for Men is mostly read by men, but is also read by a lot more women than any other genuine men’s advocacy site and more women than a ton of “gender neutral” sites. In fact we’ve even got better gender symmetry than internet giants like Reddit, let alone any feminist web site or any pseudo-men’s site like The Good Men Project.

How is it possible that the ragtag group of volunteers working in their spare time that make up the staff at A Voice for Men has managed to not only eclipse these much higher profile, much better funded enterprises, and is full of the young, theoretically eligible men who rarely go to The Good Men Project? And how is it further possible that a good third of us over here are also women? What’s the difference?

I’ll tell you what the difference is: we respect men and have compassion for who men and boys really are, not for how you want them to be. Moreover, unlike feminist web sites that pretend to be for men but aren’t, we actually respect women. We respect them, and we show that respect by telling them the truth, rather than convenient lies–convenient lies that may make you feel better about yourself but don’t actually do anything to make your lives, or men’s lives, better.

See, here at A Voice for Men, we don’t care about your feelings. We care about the truth. And if you don’t like hearing the truth, too bad. You’ve been sold a bill of goods, girls. A bunch of pernicious, man-hating lies: that men are privileged, men are pigs, men are greedy, men are rapists, men are sex-depraved, men are selfish, and oh, by the way, possibly the biggest whopper of all: that your grandfathers and great-grandfathers oppressed your grandmothers and great-grandmothers.

Truth: men, especially young men, have heard this line of lies about themselves, their fathers, their grandfathers, their great-grandfathers, their uncles, and so on their whole lives, and have had it pounded into their heads since they were children that women by nature are morally superior, and they’re calling bullshit: you aren’t any better than us. It’s a lie, and because of that lie, we increasingly do not give a damn what you think or what you want. What young men want is the truth, and these days, the truth is often ugly. Deal with that as reality, and maybe you can be part of the solution and not part of the problem.

Young men are sick of being told what you want. They’ve had what you want browbeaten into them since they were tiny children. And they are increasingly looking at modern women like you and wondering what the hell you have to offer–and if that doesn’t become apparent in short order, they conclude that you’re good for nothing except maybe casual sex, and maybe not even that.

Oh, did that sound sexist? Did that hurt your feelings? Too bad, it’s the truth, and until the people running places like The Good Men Project start actually asking men what they honestly think and what they honestly feel and what their honest experiences are, without sugar-coating it to protect your delicate feminine sensibilities, you’re going to be nothing but a bunch of sad, aging women wondering why you just can’t find a “good man” to be part of your life.

You want a slice of unvarnished truth? Those other sites didn’t have the balls to ask you the most important question of all, which is this: what is it about you that makes you worth it to any man?

And if you’re reaching for pat stereotype answers like “men want submission” and “men want obedience,” try again. That is not what most men are looking for. So stop assuming you know, and start actually asking. Shut your mouth and listen for a change, rather than assuming you know, or interrupting with arguments. Stop femsplaining, and just listen without interrupting, with your ears open and your mouth closed, and think about what you’re hearing without putting it through your ideological filters and stupid stereotypes.

This is a serious, non-rhetorical question: why should a man risk being with you when a false allegation from you can ruin his career and maybe land him in jail? Why should a man risk marrying you when the family courts will allow you to steal his children and turn him into “Uncle Dad” while you go off and find a new man you find more appealing, while he has to give up half his income to you and see and hear his children’s voices pretty much only when you feel like it, or once or twice a week? Why should he risk his health, his happiness, his emotional and spiritual and psychological and physical and financial well-being, possibly even his freedom and his fundamental human rights, just to make you happy until the end of his life, which will likely be much shorter than yours?

Why are you worth that risk?

And furthermore, if you can do a rational calculation and conclude that maybe you aren’t worth the risk to most men, what will you do about it?

Because calling men who look at the sorry state of legal and cultural affairs “misogynists” just because they recognize reality? It isn’t working anymore, and neither are a lot of the other old shaming tactics used to shut men up. Men don’t hate women–indeed, we arguably love women even when they don’t deserve it–and men don’t hate you in particular. Not most of you, anyway. But they look at what you have on offer, they look at the risks involved, and they ask themselves the frank question of whether or not you’re worth it.

By the way, if you’re getting your nose bent out of shape by such a frank, reasonable question? Odds are you probably aren’t worth it. Not for any sane man, anyway.

Indeed, if you aren’t woman enough to answer a blunt question without falling apart in tears because some man was mean enough to ask you an uncomfortable question, why would any sane person want to be with you at all?

Places like The Good Men Project and Feministing won’t ask you an “insensitive” question like “why are you worth the risk?” Because that would involve treating you like an adult. Those of us in the Men’s Human Rights Movement, on the other hand, will tell you the truth, and we’ll tell it to you without any lurid “trigger warnings,” and we’ll ask you tough questions without assuming you’re going to turn into a puddle of jelly or fuming, shrewish rage. Or we’ll treat such histrionics with the contempt such childishness deserves.

Because that’s how adults treat other adults who act like children.

So which did you want, convenient lies about female oppression and female superiority and male hegemony and brutality? More lies about having it all? More lies about how if your man isn’t neat enough or doesn’t achieve enough you shouldn’t feel bad about dumping him? More lies about how your needs matter more than his?

Or did you want to hear the truth, whatever the truth is? If what you want is the truth, come to the Men’s Human Rights Movement, and come on over here to A Voice for Men. Here, you will be treated like something no feminist web site will treat you like: an adult human being with agency and intelligence and the power to make your own choices and to take the responsibility for those choices. Here you get the respect that comes with being treated like an adult and being told the truth even if the truth is painful. You’ll get the respect of being told that the “good men” you’re looking for are all around you, they’re just living in a cultural and legal environment where you may just not be worth the risk of taking on as a girlfriend or wife.

And maybe, just maybe, you can even be a part of making that change.

It’s up to you of course. Let the losers of history, the “Good Men” Project and Feministing, keep telling you you’re oppressed and that if only men would twist themselves into a pretzel to please you the world would be a better place. Or you can join us, and help make the world a better place for both men and women, where there’s respect and compassion enough to go around for everybody. That’s up to you really.

Good Men Project and Feministing: in our rearview mirror. Next on our list: Jezebel. We’re coming for you too, girls. Have no doubt about it. You no longer hold a monopoly on the gender discourse. The Men’s Human Rights Movement is here, and growing. Better get used to it.

About Dean Esmay

Dean Esmay has written for Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, The Moderate Voice, Honey Badger Brigade, and A Voice for Men. He is a writer and podcaster with Erin Pizzey on domestic violence, Mumia Ali on race issues, and various shows on geek culture. He encourages people to look at issues through the lens of compassion for men who deserve it, and respect for women who deserve it. He is the author of the critically-acclaimed novel Methuselah's Daughter.

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  • Clem Burke

    No one answerd my question on several of the blog’s that were posted On The Good Men Project”.” Why is there not a “Good Women’s Project ?” BTW you are my sencond favorite Men’s Advocat. Bumbel-bee is number one, but that is because I am objectifying her. Great article though.

    • Roland3337

      “…BTW you are my sencond favorite Men’s Advocat. Bumbel-bee is number one, but that is because I am objectifying her….”

      Damn. I’ve probably had too much beer. And it’s late. But that made me laugh.

      I remember book-marking the GMP some years ago, since it appeared to be a sympathetic place. But that did not last more than 30 days before I saw it for what it was.

      They’ll either reap the whirlwind someday, or be becalmed into mondo irrelevancy.

      I predicted the latter. Looks like I was pretty much right.

      P.S. Still laughing.

    • Stu

      Because there are no bad women, so no need to qualify or prefix the word woman, with good. They go hand in hand. Woman=Good. What’s the point of saying Good Good, like there is a Bad Good. 😉

      • Robert St. Estephe

        Took the words right out of my mouth. Have nothing to add. The perfect answer.

  • Mike Buchanan

    Dean, many thanks. One day the history of the MHRM will be related, and I feel sure it will say AVfM’s analyses in 2012/13 – and maybe a year or two either side – prophesied the future accurately, when few other MHRM websites did.

  • RM1970

    I can´t applaud enough. Great article
    I am very happy to know that pseudo-men’s sites are following behind. I hope in the near future the MSM lose more and more audience too. And that is related with the word truth, you used this word many times in this article, but it was well used, that is the difference between AVFM and the others you tell the truth and you are fair with both men and women.

  • AntZ

    I nominate for “Best of Esmay.” This is what it looks like when honesty and compassion merge into truth.


  • John A

    GMP is written for men? Hounds and Horses is written for hounds and horses! Over the years GMP had some good articles and discussions, but they were few and far between. Then there was the GMP spring when Hugo got the flick, but that lasted about a month before the femmisarrs regained control. The MSM is better than GMP. AVFM is deservedly the premier MHR website, well done.

  • Grumpy Old Man

    Maybe they need a little more diversity on their editorial staff. :)

    Just Saying.

    • Peadair

      They should hire some Asian women? Latinas? South African women? What kinds of diverse women should they hire?

      • Never Blue Again

        GMP is saturated with homo sapiens ….. They should accommodate some females of other species also in their Editorial Board.

        Diversity is always great…. !! Right …. ?

    • ImNotMraBut…

      Maybe if they had some folks who knew how to edit first, then the diversity issue may be moot? Given that some can’t even plan how to use a national event known years in advance, I’m not sure that diversity can replace basic competence and even application to basic professional behaviour.

      It’s been down hill ever since they allowed editing to be branded 12 months ago and he took his clothes off. He’s been basking in the stroking of his shrunken ego ever since. Is that a diversity issue or just Tragic?

  • Anti Idiocy

    Dean, this is just a fuckin’ great essay!

  • The Real Peterman

    I’m so proud of A Voice For Men and the people who run it. A few years ago, when I realized the places I was going to for news and commentary didn’t care about men’s issues and I went looking for one who did, I walked into a sort of internet swamp of hatred and negativity before finding the wit, compassion, and camaraderie of AVFM (and, eventually, others). To see this site passing other sites in readership is real icing on the cake. Please keep up the good work!

  • herman melville

    I read a lot about men not marrying/cohabiting/whatever with women because of the risks involved. That would be a sensible response to the misandry surrounding male-female relationships, DV, children, etc. But is it true? Just because it’s sensible doesn’t mean it’s happening. So I’d like to see some social science on (a) are men really avoiding women and (b) if so, what’s the cause of it? Anyone have links to well-done studies?

  • Bewildered

    Why not start a ‘good women’ section here,where stories of ‘zeta’ women are told ?

    • Anti Idiocy

      Now there’s a cool idea.

      • Bewildered

        LOL! There are many who don’t seem to think it is !

    • Peadair

      Maybe a “sister” site, but not on AVFM. This is a site for men and women to discuss the issues that face men.

      I do think that a sister site, with such a section, would be a good idea.
      AVFWWLACAMARMANE? A voice for women who like and care about men and realise men are not evil?
      Now I’m not too sure, I’m visualising feminist trolls. Their multicoloured permed hair flying everywhere as they furiously type their non-logical emotive laden conspiracies, making normal reasonable women and men fear to enter the site. The zeta women…I’m not sure it would be a healthy environment for them…Oh, god why did you have to post that Bewildered. The visions are…………[slumps over keyboard sobbing]

      • Bewildered

        AVFNW :{A VOICE FOR NORMAL WOMEN} — A site for normal women who can think for themselves and care deeply about the future of the human race.

        Associates of AVFM

        • Mike Buchanan

          Bewildered, I googled AVfNW but nothing came up. Can anyone point me to the URL? I’d like to send them a couple of chapters from ‘Feminism: the ugly truth’, titled, ‘Are feminists less intelligent than normal women?’ and ‘Are feminists less attractive than normal women?’

          • Bewildered

            LOL! I created it!

    • Keith

      why not a voice for women?

      • OneHundredPercentCotton

        ‘Cause for now…we like running with the wolves…

      • Bewildered

        What’s wrong with their having a voice that FAVOURS MEN
        for a change ?
        Women like Typhon Blue,Judgy Bitch, GWW etc.can certainly demonstrate what true equality means and debunk a lot of myths that are responsible for the huge evil wedge that has been driven between the sexes.
        They could be AVFM’s definition and by inference men’s definition of what “GOOD WOMEN” mean

        • Mike Buchanan

          Bewildered, you make a very good point. In common with (I think) the overwhelming majority of men who write for and leave comments on this site, I greatly appreciate and enjoy the inputs of women such as those you name (and your good self too, obviously). And I believe that women will be more attracted to a site which is female-friendly, reflecting the orientation of the vast majority of male MHRAs. Indeed the first female anti-feminist I ever met (hi S!) is a HUGE fan of AVfM. I hope she’ll send in a piece one day, She’s a really funny writer, and I hope to help her publish a book one day

          I’ve put up a number of blog posts recently pointing to JudgyBitch’s pieces, the standard of which remain consistently high. She recently posted her first video, on the topic of ‘rape culture’, downloadable from the link below:

          • Bewildered

            ” (and your good self too, obviously) ”

            I have a confession to make : I am a male ! LOL!

            I used the lady [Esther Vilar] in my avatar because of the great respect I have for her.She was much like Typhon Blue here.
            Her debate with that typical feminist of her age showed what an intelligent person she was.
            Bear in mind her dissent was in the early days of the so called second wave feminism.
            It needed real courage to oppose the zombified Marxists of that period.

          • Mike Buchanan

            Haha thanks Bewildered, I hadn’t realised! I do hope Esther Vilar comes out of the woodwork one day. I’d love to see her on national TV again.

    • Dean Esmay

      Tough truth: it has been the experience of countless men’s groups and sites that when female participation goes past a certain point, women start rearranging the furniture and demanding things be changed to suit their sensibilities. Women also start getting into their own little feminine dominance hierarchies, and catfights and schisms start up, and men (who fucking can’t help themselves it seems) start white knighting each other and choosing sides, even red pill men who you’d think would know better.

      We love you ladies, but we can’t let you do that, so I’m not sure your idea for a women’s section here is gonna work. I mean, it’s up to Paul, but I think it’s a dangerous idea. Them wimmenz, they’s be dangerous. 😉

      On the other hand, a site for red pill women? Not a bad idea. As it happens, I know at least one red pill women is in the process of setting up a site now. Although even she’s worried about a buncha women showing up and messing the whole thing up. LOL.

      • Suzanne McCarley

        Yep. Our contributions as individual Honey Badgers are useful, but a Sammich Mine in the basement? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

  • Gordon Wadsworth

    This article got inside my head and kicked my head’s ass.

    Well done.

  • gateman

    Beautifully written Dean.

    Oprah and Dr Phil are TV versions of The Good Men Project/Feministing.

  • Jean Valjean

    For all those reasons and also because Feministing and TGMP censor user posts. I’ve even had Feministing edit my post for me to remove key points and data while we were debating.

    I found that intolerable.

    • Booyah

      I was asked to provide proof in a very friendly and seemingly sympathetic manner by one of the feminists on GMP some months ago only to return with said proof to find myself banned…. It looked good for them on the site. It looks like I just went quiet when courteously challenged with the veracity of my claim, but was pretty underhanded IMO. No doubt that article was purged in the great feminist deletefest anyhow.

      • OneHundredPercentCotton

        Fuck GMP and the horse they rode in on…

  • Tim Legere

    Well written Dean!

  • Zarathos022

    So Jezebel’s “next on our list”, huh?

    I can’t wait.

    I wonder if Kate Harding will write an addendum article to that maggot-ridden dumpster sludge she pushed out last year called “Fuck You, MRA’s”.

  • Lucian Vâlsan

    I have looked the “goodmenproject” on Alexa and it appears that my country, Romania, is a highly important traffic source for this pathetic venue.

    This means two things:
    1. It explains in part some of the daily misandry that started to appear in recent years.
    2. It offers me the chance to take the “goodmenproject” further into the hole since I know exactly what to say in Romanian in order to impact the Internet behavior of a reasonable number of Romanian Internet users 😀

    So, I guess I will start working :)

    • Paul Elam

      Uh oh! :) :) :) :) :)

  • yama

    Nice article Dean. It’s interesting you post this article now. I was reading GMP just yesterday, and someone in the comments section was warned by a moderator who literally said “there is to be no criticism of feminism”. Something to do with ideology essentially being off the table…

  • Suzanne McCarley

    MOST. AWESOMEST. (Yes it’s a word. Because I said so) EPIC. RANT. EVARRR!

    My keyboard is shouting because my husband is dozing and I can’t cheer out loud. Dean, I hope a million women read this, and I hope a substantial number of them do so at the behest of the men in their lives.

    Not only have you delivered fantastically good news for us and ultimately for everybody, you gave a damn good accounting of why it has occurred (and why it will continue.)

    You know, when people (usually ideologs and conspiracy theorists) claim to be Exposing The Truth, they don’t often make their way out of the fringes. This is not merely because the “powers that be” are out to silence them, although that can be the case; it’s because their Truths are considered then rejected by rational and objective independent thinkers. The best that can be said of those Truths is that *some* evidence indicates they *might* be True. Furthermore, if they are True, would it change anything?

    Unlike such Truths from the fringes, this truth you so eloquently stated cannot be refuted. It’s not supported by *some* evidence; it is proven by massive quantities of empirical data – some if it ignored for ages. And this truth CAN change things. It may or may not change many laws, and if it does the process will take decades. But knowledge of this truth can change the behavior of individual people, changing their own lives for the better. It already has. Men going their own way, rediscovering their masculinity and protecting their fragile rights, and women rejecting the crutches offered them at every turn, taking responsibility for themselves, and rediscovering their femininity.

    As more and more women catch on, I can’t wait to see if Jezebel decides to delete it’s archives so it can claim it was egalitarian all along, or if it just squawks its way into inevitable obscurity.

    Oh, and Boobzie – Here. Have a Red Pill. Fuck you.

  • Paul Elam


    Many thanks for adding yet another MUST READ piece to this website.

    Silence should be the response from GMP. That is, if they have any sense of not wanting the public to see the entire carton of eggs you just put on their faces.

    Bravisimo, sir. Well done.

  • Booyah

    Congratulations to AVfM for overtaking another juggernaut of feminist dogma in site visits.

    While the Good Men Project wonders what happens, perhaps they should consider that lovable dogs like Benji and Lassie can’t read. Pleasure to help but stay the heck away from me with your leash of bigotry. It was interesting visiting the GQ comments on the “why wont sex obsessed men?” story as well. Compared to the insight and intelligence offered here, the comments at GQ read somewhat like a fourth grade english class.

  • TheSandreGuy

    I must say that for this year or so I’ve been involved in this movement it’s quickly picked up steam. I am perplexed by this. Could this be a second renaissance? A great awakening among men around the world?

  • onca747

    Bravo, bravo. This article beautifully (and brutally, haha) encapsulates the worldview of an increasing number of men. I think I’ll add it to my list of links to give to feminists to give them an insight into why they feel they are hated by men everywhere. Also, damn Jezebel, damn them and all their works.

  • Booyah

    Still waiting for tales from the infrared to come back to. In 3 short shows it was really starting to become both entertaining and informative. I sincerely hope a return is on the cards somewhere in the future. It’s a great blue to red pill stepping stone IMO and geek culture is a very fertile recruiting ground.

  • Kimski

    Awesome article, Dean.

    If we’re going to a Jezebel funeral soon, can I attend dressed as a slut and wearing a sign saying “Goodbye and good riddance!”, if I keep it all in black?


  • knightrunner

    Dean, this article is one of the best. Well done sir. My hat is off to you.

  • Railstar

    First of all, I love the term femsplaining. I might use it as a regular vocabulary.

    Food for thought. What men want (in a relationship) is a question so rarely asked and so often femsplained that not all guys will have an answer. When a boy is constantly bombarded with the message that he is privileged, pig, greedy, rapist, sex-depraved, selfish and an oppressor, that is not conducive to self-awareness as a man.

    So I would add; stop femsplaining, and let men decide what they want, because that question is kind of important if a woman expects a remotely healthy relationship.

  • droobles

    Well, here goes my standing ovation!!

    And the more I ask around, the more I see men really not caring, marriage is becoming obsolete not because it is a failed institution but because modern people (well, human shit knows no gender or sex orientation) are a failed institution.

  • August Løvenskiolds

    Breathtaking. Brilliant.

    Almost speechless (me).

    Fuck, ya!

  • ComradePrescott

    Trigger warning: “You will be treated like an adult human being with agency and intelligence and the power to make your own choices and to take the responsibility for those choices.”

    • OneHundredPercentCotton

      Trigger Warning: This is good shit, Dean!

  • 86

    Congratulations and a big thank you from me to everyone associated with AVFM.

    (Dean, not to challenge you, but just because I am curious where this information comes from and how quantitative it is, I would love to see graphs and crap like that….)

    • ComradePrescott

      I’d like to see it too and that is a challenge. Truth, not your feelings, is what I care to see.

    • Dean Esmay

      There are internal metrics which aren’t public, however, if you just go to and put in,, and you can accumulate a wealth of publicly available data.

      One of the more amusing things that happened is that the day we announced we’d blown past Feministing, their traffic had a sudden enormous spike through the roof. Within a week they were back down to their normal levels. Apparently we upset some people.

      I predict a similar effect on Good Men Project. After all, I had the decency to not just mention them, but actually linked one of their pieces. I’m sure they appreciate the boost we gave them. :-)

      If Matlack et. al. want their site to be a real success, they’re going to have to throw the ideologues under the bus and start letting men speak unapologetically and forcefully about what things are really like. They’re going to have to do what Matlack claims he does but doesn’t: let voices be heard that they call “ranting” but are just telling the bald truth about the experiences of tens of millions of men.

      They’re basically going to have to tell the Hugo Schwyzers and the Amanda Marcottes and the Jezebel and Feministing crowds to go fuck themselves up the ass (which Hugo should appreciate anyway, since he advocates that as a way for men to get in touch with their feminine side). Bigots needs to go, and men need to be free to speak their minds without bowing to feminine sensibilities and being ashamed to say, think, or feel what they want. And be free to bring up objective data that doesn’t make feminists comfortable but nevertheless remains objective data that must be shown to the world.

      Make it not just a male-friendly but a male-safe space. Otherwise, they’ll keep their near-total irrelevancy, a place for only simpering men and women vainly looking for something that isn’t there.

      They could double their traffic in six months if they did this. I predict they won’t, because more than anything, they’re too afraid to try.

      • 86

        What you said about GMP… Absolutely right.

        But Matlack’s mission is to improve men, to make them good. I guess he feels he’s a Jesus figure bringing us horses to water.

  • Near Earth Object

    Definitely, a “MUST READ piece to this website.”.
    I read it. I understood it. I liked it—a lot.
    However, I’m not sure a feminist would understand it, for this word: truth.
    In my experience, feminists cannot comprehend the notion of “truth”, but rather “whose truth”.

    Hoping to help at least one feminists here:
    – the true or actual state of a matter
    – conformity with fact or reality
    – a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like
    – the state or character of being true
    – actuality or actual existence

    Synonyms: fact, veracity, sincerity, candor, frankness, precision, exactness

    • Suzanne McCarley

      Pffft! Dictionaries are oppressively patriarchal.

      • Mike Buchanan

        Haha thanks Suzanne. My beloved ‘Chambers’ dictionary – a few years old now – had a near all-female Editorial Board including the Head Honchess (that may not have been the term they used). I noticed that quite a number of gendered words in common usage not so very long ago e.g. editress (from memory, though I may be wrong) were described as ‘obsolete’. Last year I re-read my favourite work of fiction, George Orwell’s ‘Nineteen Eighty Four’ and was constantly struck by parallels with modern feminism… the control of language, thought crime (= political correctness), media censorship etc.

      • Diogenes

        Exactly, I prefer the vagtionary myself.

  • Steve_85

    “Young men are sick of being told what you want. They’ve had what you want browbeaten into them since they were tiny children. And they are increasingly looking at modern women like you and wondering what the hell you have to offer–and if that doesn’t become apparent in short order, they conclude that you’re good for nothing except maybe casual sex, and maybe not even that.”

    This. A million times this. If there was ever a paragraph to sum up today’s 20-somethings, this is it.

  • Grumpy Old Man

    Their primary viewers are high school and college girls.

    AVFM viewers are high school, college and men 50 and over.

    Things that make you go hmmmm.

  • Stu

    This is great news, and, you ain’t seen nothing yet, no doubt.

  • Winstone

    About internet projects that got wide attention, I would like to signal our italian FaceBook group

    The peculiarity is that it started from zero with zero funds putting a feminst slogan (no violence on women) as title, and managed to tell the anti-feminist truth about this topic, growing to half a million of followers (now reduced to 308,000 after a hacker attack, still 100 times more than analogous feminist groups).

  • Kalan Chinuck

    “historically, most men have always cared about women and what women want. ”

    I simply cannot understand why women (and a lot of men) don’t want to see this truth. Nicely said.

    Did you offer this piece to TGMP? :)

  • Verywierd

    ” what is it about you that makes you worth it to any man?”

    Precisely. It’s always men must sacrifice, men must commit, men must respect, men must comply, but never the slightest indication of WHY men should do any of these things.

    That is the very question that had kept me a bachelor all my life.

  • eddy.dogleg

    Dam I wish I could write like that.

  • Dan Perrins

    Bravo Dean!
    Brav-fucken-eh-o My Good sir!

  • John Hembling (JtO)


  • MrStonedOne

    Some interesting stats:

    GoodMenProject Gender spread: Gender Spread:

    AVoiceForMen Gender Spread:

    We have a more even balance of genders than reddit or

  • donzaloog

    That’s some cold hard truth. I love every bit of it.

  • Robert St. Estephe

    Maybe GMP can pick up steam by renaming itself in order to attract a larger share of the clock-is-ticking having-it-all wannabe’s to something more attention-getting, precise and accurate:

    The Manipulated Man Project.

    • Bombay

      “The Manipulated Man Project.” Is that a PUA site? LOL

    • Near Earth Object

      The Good Boy (pat on the head) Project.

  • Mr.Zeph

    I wrote an article for TGMP. I was congratulated for it’s high hit count. Then they changed the title. Then some text. Then when female commenters left insipid messages, my replies were denied. Then I noticed how some football player killing his girlfriend became a highly popular article, and my mentioning that it was unrelated to “good men”, was left ignored, I left. We like you as long as you bring in traffic, but not when you have something else to say.

    Then I found A Voice for Men. This article, Dean, speaks for me. Loudly, clearly and concisely.


  • Mr.Zeph

    “the most important question of all, which is this: what is it about you that makes you worth it to any man?”

    Case in point

  • Mr.Zeph

    For the Vice video, go to 4:18

  • MGTOW-man

    “…and still all you can do is whine about how tough your life is and how oppressed you are because of the choices you made.”
    —Asking those women to be responsible for their choices is like asking a hungry wolf to not eat the rabbit. Neither have that capacity to make THAT choice.

    “We respect them, and we show that respect by telling them the truth, rather than convenient lies–convenient lies that may make you feel better about yourself but don’t actually do anything to make your lives, or men’s lives, better.”
    —Amen brother! However, truth is their number one enemy!

    “See, here at A Voice for Men, we don’t care about your feelings. We care about the truth. And if you don’t like hearing the truth, too bad.”
    —expecting those women to embrace the truth is a lost cause. They do no know how…and now they have the feminists telling them “no need” to learn.

    Askmen dot com is another site that basically shames/steers men into the corral. I commented there for a while, trying to be honest with women, but since they do not like the truth, my account was shut down. There, lies—whatever gives women what they want, regardless of how adversely it affects the rest of the world—is what that site is all about—so men can please women and get them some… you know, be “real men”.

    But don’t we all know that feminists and their women don’t ever do anything wrong, so why would they EVER need to look at themselves the way Dean is suggesting?

    Dean, I do believe that this article concurs with what I often say on this site: Those type of women (perhaps the majority of women) are so feelings-influenced, downright dominated by feelings, that they render themselves unfit for public discussion due to their own inner subjectivity never giving way to rational objectivity. They simply do not know how!

    That is what we are up against and will have to defeat in the long run. Whatever it is that is making most women into feminists, or at least having support for feminism and tolerate its ideas, is the same VERY thing that we are fighting—or should be! We can’t win without taking on the core of the beast.

    Thus, if we are to win this thing we had better get ready to really piss almost all women off.

  • arkbane

    Agreed with most of the piece. I would have liked to have not seen trigger words like “honey” and “dears” only because they provide an excuse for some to dismiss the ideas out of hand. Good strategy does count for something if you want those who disagree with you to listen.

  • allyp_pt

    Been lurking for a month. Just joined up to say bravo to you, Mr. Esmay.

    A crackingly good piece of writing that put a huge grin on this young man’s face.

  • Tom Breclin

    I’d like this article to be resurrected and put up front again. Appears that things (monitoring) are getting worse at TGMP. To the point that an auto-reply, based on unknown “trigger” words or phrases, raise a “you may be a spammer” flag to where you’re advised that a “human” will then review your response. Perhaps instead of a reprint of this article, an updated one?