Goodbye

Suicide – The Problem They Claim To Be Working On But Aren’t

Last year I wrote a piece about a young gentleman who was prevented from attending the Dr Warren Farrell lecture at the University of Toronto. He was searching for answers why his two friends committed suicide.

In that article it came out that suicide visited my family 32 years ago.

My brother, Anthony believed he had no options left and took his own life. It affected my family, friends and me profoundly, permanently. The intense, extreme sorrow, wasn’t just limited to his male relatives. All of us, male and female alike, were devastated by his permanent solution to a passing problem.

That’s what made the laughing of Big Red (feminism’s “empowered woman & champion”) so reprehensible. That laugh at male suicides drew anger from society.

Red made herself a social suicide victim, hated due to her own depraved indifference to male suicides.

It produced the calling of bullshit and ridicule from me in an article about feminists ‘working on it’ or on any other problems men face.

Suicide is not an easy topic to discuss, but failing to do so will only increase its prevalence. It’s an issue men face which must not be left for feminists to solve.

This picture is one of the male suicide victims Big Red laughed at. And sung about:

Here’s a picture of my brother Anthony:

Anthony

Men make up 76 – 80% of suicides depending on the age group studied.

At the age of 22 he was in the 80% range, for all ages its about 76% of suicides.

For the years 2001-11 a total of 31,165 males died by their own hand, a total of 9695 females did the same. For those 10 years, men made up 76% of the suicides.

suicide Canada 2001 - 11 (link is reliant on cookies. If you wish to confirm the numbers you will have to go to the CANSIM tables and un-check all the other causes of death and check the male female boxes)

A decade of feminists “working on it.”

About a year has gone by since my article. Another year of feminism ‘working on it‘ which filled graves across Canada with male suicide victims at a rate of about 8 men a day.

The movement lost one of our own, Earl Silverman, to suicide in that year. Someone whom I had come to know, respect and consider a friend over a 2 year span of regular talking and trying to work together.

Earl

In a cruel coincidence Earl killed himself about 2 weeks before the anniversary of Anthony’s death. 2 weeks before that I had my last conversation with him. It was 40 minutes long and I told him numerous times if he ever needed to talk he could call me any time.

He did not.

In the past I’ve received calls from men who are distraught, feeling helpless, angry, depressed believing there is no solution. These are the hallmarks for contemplating suicide. For some, its years of abuse from a corrupt misandric court system /society. Others are still wet after the initial hosing down of scalding misandric sewage from a corrupt legal system.

We are constantly reminded of military suicides. Those suicides demand special dedicated attention and help. Another area where men make up the vast majority.

Knowing this lead me to reach out and contact the local mental health care professionals in an attempt to gather information for the MHRM to use if any of us receives a call from a man in trouble.

The local crisis line really had very little information to offer, other than to send me to a local feminist organization, which is already misandric in its beliefs. I have looked at the organization before, the 1 in 4 claims that domestic violence is a gendered issue, blah blah blah “working on it,” blah.

Feminist lies are promoted for society to gasp at, and for feminists to use to emotionally extort money from society. The same confabulations have given rise to mandated policy promoted in the courts.

And the same scalding misandric sewage that drives men to an early grave.

My next call was to the local Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA). I’ve visited this organization before. It was linked in the piece I mentioned at the beginning of this article regarding Big Red.

I know they have 11 papers dealing with women’s mental health that is easily found in the side bar of their site where they have a tab labeled women.

There is no corresponding tab for men.

CMHA

There is one paper for for men on the CMHA site. You’ll note it lists two, but this one from DECEMBER 1, 2002: “The Effects of Depression and Anxiety on Canadian Society” is listed under the women’s tab as well. Still leaving the papers for men’s mental health 10 papers behind.

An absolutely unacceptable situation, considering which sex is filling up the vast majority of those graves.

Canadian mental health organization(s) are aware of these issues. There have been papers commissioned for those issues by the Canadian tax payers.

A 1995 Statistics Canada Health Report paper by Kathryn Wilkins brings up the topic of suicide 20 times, with the author stating in her findings that;

“… public health interventions to reduce male death rates will probably yield the most gains when targeted at young adult men.”

In July of 2012 the issue of males as the ones being ignored and making up most of the suicides remains in place. The paper by Tanya Navaneelan titled “Health at a Glance Suicide rates: An overview” confirms again this deadly fact that men are the ones killing themselves far more often then women. Navaneelan doesn’t candy-coat this fact and states:

“Using vital statistics to explore different aspects of suicide in Canada has shown that males are far more likely to commit suicide than females.”

Let me just repeat that last little bit in case anyone missed it;

“… males are far more likely to commit suicide then females”

I can’t, as a men’s human rights advocate, permit this situation to continue. I have reached out and received a reply from the local CMHA. I am currently in the process of drafting a letter to them highlighting the fact that men have for the last 10 years of available data been 76% of the suicide population. I will be requesting information to help those who might receive a call, to direct them to the best services.

The manager who replied to me suggested we have a phone conversation. I’m not willing to go that route. The consequences of information being lost in a phone conversation is too dire, and permanent.

I’m not interested in being angry about the discrimination tacitly condoned in the mental health community. I know there are good therapists out there. I am reaching out to them in the hopes that they will understand this issue affects us all and needs to be corrected.

I owe it to Anthony and Earl to fix this problem, as there were 8 more of them today.

About Dan Perrins

Dan "Dannyboy" Perrins, up until a few years ago, was blissfully ignorant of what was going on. Then a series of events demanded he either grab his ankles and let a corrupt "just-us" system have its way with him or take action. He chose the latter, and he is now the Ontario News Correspondent for AVFM News.

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  • Stu

    You are wrong. Feminists have been working damn hard on the male suicide problem. Yes they have…..they have been working overtime, flat out, making sure as many men as possible have more and more reason to kill themselves. What did you think they meant when they said they were working on it?

    • Fatherless

      Well, it’s a good solution in theory. If there aren’t any men left the male suicide issue will be resolved.

    • Usagi Yojimbo

      Ah, so they are solving the suicide problem. I think someone in the late 1930s and early 1940s tried to do something like that. I believe they called it, “The Final Solution.”

      Who was that person…

      The name’s on the tip of my tongue, but it’s failing me for some strange reason. But every time I think about this person, I hear martial music in the background, and the sound of jackboots marching down the road.

      Oh well, the name will come to me eventually. But I think they failed miserably at the task. Just like these fascist feminists will when they are shown the true ugliness of their movement.

      One would think this level of indifference and hatred would go out of fashion eventually.

    • John Narayan

      Feminists want to take away the word problem, but they are happy to keep the suicide bit.

  • Attila_L_Vinczer

    I was shocked when I learned that 8 men commit suicide each day in Canada to 2 women in that same 24 hour period. I wondered why. It is clear to me now, because of the tyranny and oppression men and boys are made to live in. These men, find the best option in life, to be death. I to a very large degree, blame feminist ideology for this grave darkness half the population is subjected to. I am going to try and have Dr. Paul Links of the U of T to speak at our Toronto DV Symposium in June.

    This is one of the best pieces about suicide in Canada I know of. Please click and read it.

    http://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/visions/men-vol2/men-are-dying

    • Draugo

      Well what do you know, women really are 1 in 4.

      • Attila_L_Vinczer

        And your point is? You question my knowledge about suicide matters? When I began to write about this nearly 10 years ago, NOBODY cared to take notice! Nobody even knew, or certainly very, very few. What are women, 1 in 4?

        Quite honestly, your comment pisses me off. It pisses me off because you insinuate that I don’t know what I am talking about and you insert some nebulous meaningless fact about “women really are 1 in 4.”

        In Canada 8 men and two women commit suicide each day. Men from broken homes (divorce, separation) are EIGHT times more likely to take their own life than a woman at large.

        What I know, is the suicide rate of men is grossly higher than women. What I know is, this is because of the gross abuse of men and boys and the unbearable conditions they must function within. This all leads 8 men per day to a breaking point beyond their stress coping capabilities. Do you understand that Druago?

        • Draugo

          Seriously, since you obviously didn’t read my comment but just blindly saw “1 in 4″ I’m wondering if I should even respond. If you’d thought even a second about my wording and your own post but no, let’s go on an angry rant instead. “8 men and 2 women commit suicide every day” => 1 in 4 suicide victims are women => What is 1 in 4? A clear minority.

          • Attila_L_Vinczer

            My apologies Draugo as I clearly misread your comment. It had been a very difficult long day. I can remove my comment if you like. Although, I am big enough to own my mistake and leave it as is. You are 100% correct, a clear minority at 1 in 4.

          • Draugo

            No worries, we all get those days sometimes.

  • Steve

    Thank you for this moving and pertinent statement.

  • Susie Parker

    “My brother committed suicide…” I can’t tell you how many times in the course of my life I’ve heard those profoundly sad words, and I think each and every one of those grieving voices has left a mark on my heart. There are so many. So many. How cravenly self-absorbed can a person be to have sung “Cry Me A River” in the face of a person who has experienced the enormous grief, guilt, and bewildering loss of a loved one in that way. I’m at a loss for words.

    • sparky8251

      My mother’s brother committed suicide after years of insanely violent actions from his wife-turned-ex. He paid shittons of money in child support and she bought every drug you could imagine. He gassed himself in the car garage he worked at one day.

      More recently my own dad committed suicide because my mom kicked him out and he could no longer see us even though he was allowed to (distance and money issues).

      My family has seen a lot of pain from suicide, but no one aside from me notices why this happens so often. They just think it’s pigheaded-ness (refusing to seek help instead of being unable for so long).

      • http://www.avoiceformen.com/ DannyboyCdnMra

        Sparky,
        My deepest condolences for your losses.
        We’re trying to stop these tragedies.
        Its going to be a lot of work.

        • sparky8251

          I never knew my Uncle (died almost 15 years before I was born) and as for my dad… I had already been mourning his loss since I was 5.

          I, personally, have not suffered from suicides in my family. My family has for sure. And because of that I know of the pain felt when someone important commits suicide and I want to fix it for that reason.

          As an aside. my sister thought it would be a good idea to threaten suicide every time she felt left out at school and wanted attention (granted she was abused by the neighbor girl for a few years before this). My dad committed suicide and she realized that suicide it not an appropriate way to get attention and IMMEDIATELY stopped saying such stupid shit.

          The 30 trips to the psych ward did nothing for her desire to fix up her life, though oddly… My dad’s last action put my sister on the proper path. She is now almost at “proper everyday person” when before I would have never assumed she would have made it this far.

          Not saying suicide is right, just saying its odd how things can work out.

      • Attila_L_Vinczer

        I am terribly sorry to know of the deep pain and tragedies in your family. I am aware of what is going on and have been writing about it for about 10 years. A divorced, divorcing, separated man is 8 times more likely to commit suicide than a woman in the general population.

        This my friends is the best barometer and statistic of what men are enduring in society. But hey, it’s just a brother, a son, a father, a grandfather, an uncle, just a guy, a man who society cares little about. For if they did, this matter would be talked about and treated very seriously.

        You see my friends, the greed for cash, the business of divorce, is far greater than the desire to ensure the well being of men. There are some women who also get caught in this machine that grinds you up and tears the soul from your body and mind.

        I put the blame on women who cause these conditions for men to endure. I blame society for funding the regime that enables the women who have the choice to deeply harm men, in family and criminal court, at will.

        All those who enable or attribute to these suicides have a heavy stain of blood on their hands!

        • sparky8251

          I never would have know about the 8 times more likely if I stayed in my blue bubble.

          It’s pretty disgusting that, even though, men are far more likely to die over not being able to have a family women are seen as more family oriented and compassionate. Not saying they can’t be, but it doesn’t seem to be all that common.

          I don’t think the issue will be solved by solely targeting the society that enables this. We, as men, need to be able to realize when our mental health is out of whack (the hardest thing to fix, imo) and then we need to push society to accept the need for a healthy way for men to fix or overcome the issues that are causing the mental state (I feel this one is by far easier than the previous).

          The second task will lead to the first but there’s still a lot to do to make men realize you can be ill mentally and be able to overcome it even after you fix societies offerings for men.

        • Screwtape

          Perhaps if we all allowed boys to show emotion instead of stunting their growth with chestnuts like “Be a man!” then they would have better skills at dealing with their emotions. “Men don’t cry” is bullshit. People cry.

          When a person is so depressed that suicide looks like a good option, the words of the 8th grade PE coach “Walk it off” are not very helpful. men should be encouraged to get help when they need it.

          As a society we need to fight against the characterization of men as cartoon characters and allow them to be people.

          • Hugstarved

            Having girls learn that big girls don’t cry may be the single best way to help a girl learn to be a fully functioning adult. Go and look at the Paul Elam youtube video ‘your feelings and why they don’t matter’

  • The Real Peterman

    I’m sorry about your brother.

  • Allan

    Thanks for writing this…and I think it’s a good issue to focus on, but… I really don’t know what to say.

    The course of my life was really altered by the suicide in high school of my best friend. I had so much survivor guilt for years I’m lucky I didn’t join him.

    But I’ve heard “Cry Me A River” from so many feminists, mental health professionals, social workers, advocates, etc. that I know the words by heart. And the hearts of the cravenly self-absorbed are not moved by words. I’ve tried. Don’t waste your time.

  • fathers4fairness

    Dan Thank-you for this reminder. Yes we are coming up on 1yr anniversary of Earls death – that we only discovered on Fri April 26. I realized afterwards that was almost exactly same day as Parental Alienation Awareness Day – April 25, even though Earl did not have kids. Of course there were other events in Earls life at that time.

  • fathers4fairness

    Every day in Alberta at 1 man/boy takes his life – basically the same toll as ALL Motor Vehicle related deaths*.

    * In 2009, 380 of 487 suicides ages 10-90 were males. There were also 382 deaths from All Motor Vehicle+Related Accidents (includes Traffic, Farm, Occupational & Sport/Recreation) in 2009.
    SOURCE: Office of Chief Medical Examiner 2009
    http://suicideinfo.ca/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=PWZz52B9He0%3d&tabid=508

  • Chris Wedge

    Well, there goes my good mood…

    But it is good to know how upset I am, oddly enough.

  • brmerrick

    All of us, male and female alike, were devastated by his permanent solution to a passing problem.

    I have heard this phrase before, and it sounds cliché, but most clichés happen to be true: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

    Any suffering men out there would do well to memorize this cliché and live by it. Every day if necessary. That, and finding a safe place in your mind where you can go, using imagery of being in your favorite quiet place alone.

    Lastly, much of suicide comes from being socially isolated. Go to the store; go to the movies; go to the library; go to the beach; join a meetup; stand near a person; pet a dog. Make it a habit.

    • Screwtape

      Yes, perhaps. But it is a solution. That is the draw.

      I fight the battle just like anyone else who deals with suicidal thoughts, and sometimes the comfort of “I can always do it later” gets me through. Whatever works.

      • Flying Squid

        You are the person who runs her feminist mouth all over RawStory. Go back to your circle Jerk over there.

        • Screwtape

          I advocate equality for all. If you don’t like equality, then I feel bad for you. Nice avatar.

        • Jim Stacey

          wow I never thought I would see you here.

          • WaltHWhite1

            A few of us from “over there” come over here.

        • http://www.avoiceformen.com/ David King

          We don’t turn people away just because they are feminists or participate on sites we dislike. Screwtape is welcome to comment here for as long as he/she adheres to the comment policy (which also forbids personal attacks. I’m not saying you are doing this, only pointing out that it does.)

  • DukeLax

    The perversions and federal pork bloating Alliances that have infected American law enforcement…will be historically viewed as a stain on American law enforcement that won’t wash off easily!!!

    Some would say that these perversions, pork bloating triangles and manufactured statistics alliances are now even undermining basic American democracy!!

  • Dagda Mór

    Shame.

    Shame on those who know what’s happening and participate anyway for their wretched jobsworth careers. Shame on those who don’t but have the feeling that something is wrong, they shouldn’t be signing their name to that paper, authorising that publication, ignoring that lie.

    And shame on those who choose to look away, to live their lives while they know a man dies by his own hand as they enjoy their latte, read the internet, walk their dog, and do nothing.

    Connect institutional feminism to these heightened suicide rates and you have criminal charges if not crimes against humanity. We’ve got a report in Australia dismissed because it misrepresented the facts about domestic violence, so let me ask you, is domestic violence a factor in suicide rates?

    And let me answer, yes it is, quite a significant factor. The numbers I’ve uncovered indicate an enormous *twelve times* higher rate of suicide amongst women suffering domestic violence. God alone knows what it is for men because I sure couldn’t find any studies on the matter.

    So by hiding these facts feminists are in truth accessories to manslaughter, even murder by their lies and “political” tactics. This is the mountain of bodies that neomarxists invariably end up standing on.

    Tell me I’m wrong.

  • John Narayan

    Feminist – Psychopath

    Psychopath – Feminist

  • http://www.stgeorgewest.blogspot.co.uk/ Angelo

    I am not crying it’s just been raining on my face.
    Seems appropriate – ‘Spiraling’ By Antony and the Johnsons

    In my cruel life god poisoned
    i was born worn
    not a girl and not a jewel
    i am, i am some son
    i am some bum.

    where go, where now
    i can’t stand
    if i can, i can die
    I’m freezing; sly curse
    I’m spiraling

  • Andybob

    There are few issues of concern to the MHRM which demonstrate our gynocentric culture’s brutal disregard for the welfare of men and boys than the massively high disproportion of male suicide rates, and society’s egregiously inadequate response to it. The dearth of available support services services for men in crisis is a reflection of systemic disinterest in the physical, mental and emotional well-being of the disposable class.

    The significance of Chanty Binx’s impromptu rendition of ‘Cry Me a River’ should not be underestimated. This was not just some obnoxious radical feminist exposing her toxic misandry through song. It was a representation of society’s general attitude towards male suffering – an anthem of callous indifference. The violent protest against Dr Warren Farrells’s lecture on male suicide at the University of Toronto severely undermined Ms Binx’s claim that feminists were ‘working on’ this issue – and left little doubt that they should never be permitted to do so.

    Here’s a reminder of what happened in Australia recently when feminists were allowed to participate in a government-sponsored initiative addressing male suicide prevention:

    http://www.avoiceformen.com/men/mens-issues/soften-the-fuck-up/

    A campaign sponsored by ‘beyondblue’, an NGO that includes among its board of directors, Natasha Stott Despoja, a career feminist who denies the existence of male victims of female-perpetrated domestic violence. This is probably the reason why the campaign essentially blames masculinity as the main cause of high male suicide rates, and completely ignores key factors like the enforced poverty, parental alienation and depression resulting from family court injustice.

    The key message is that men need to ‘get soft’ and be more like women by embracing their vulnerability when it comes to asking for help in their time of need. All well and good for those men who can do this, but completely useless for the vast majority of men who naturally think and function very differently from women. Telling men that their maleness is the root cause of their mental health problems may be in line with feminist dogma, but it is as ignorant of reality as it is offensive.

    While it can be argued that any campaign that encourages suicidal men to seek help is better than none, one is left wondering if the money could have been better spent actually providing some of that help. Mental health services in Australia are primarily
    geared towards women. Male-specific organizations, clinics and charities are virtually non-existent. Except for this one, which is based on the singularly unhelpful assumption that men’s biggest problem is that they are men.

    Thanks for this timely article, Mr Perrins, and for your work on behalf of men everywhere. May your brother, Anthony, and Earl Silverman, rest in peace.

    • Turbo

      A year or two ago, a friend of mine who is well versed on our issues, was listening to a leading experienced morning radio host. He had on his program a couple of psychologists and the discussion was to be about suicide. After the intros were over and the first question was asked of one of the guests, he stated quite boldly and up front

      ” You cannot have a meaningful discussion about suicide without talking about the Family Court ”

      My friend said the host immediately went into deflection mode, changing the discussion, talking around the edges. He simply refused to let these people talk about Family Court and the devastating effects it has on rates of suicide. The media are as bad as the politicians in this regard. They fear the feminist machine.

  • http://menaregood.com/ Tom Golden

    Such an important article Danny. Thank you. So sorry to hear of your brother’s death by suicide. Far too many of our beloved brothers, fathers, grandfathers, uncles, male friends and others have chosen to end their lives. And as you point out the mental health system literally twiddles their thumbs. I would add that the major suicide organizations are doing the same thing as is the general public. Nothing. And they simplyh don’t care. There is a tsunami of disregard for male emotional pain with AVFM and some other male orgs being a very welcomed oasis.

    Please know that I am continuing to battle for compasssion for men and boys in the mental health profession but sadly my efforts are a drop in the bucket. No matter. I won’t stop. Just last week there was a feature article in the NASW News which is the national publication for social workers. The article was on suicide. It talked of the problem from a variety of angles but never said a word about men being 80% of those who complete suicide. Not one word. I found the writer’s email address and sent him a note. The good news is he got back to me and asked if I would be willing to have that note printed as a letter to the editor. We will see.

  • HeraSentMe

    It’s simple: Deliberately killing yourself is almost always a stupid thing to do. Women tend to be smarter than men (as seen by their much higher likelihood of earning university degrees). So it stands to reason that women would be less likely to something stupid like committing suicide.
    This also can be seen in the relatively high numbers of men doing other stupid things that get people killed. Like having road rage, drunk driving, drunk gunplay, drunk brawling, pointlessly dangerous “hobbies” (such as illegal drag racing, ultimate fighting and Xtreme sports), foolish risk taking in general, etc.
    As to what society needs to do to reduce male suicide (and male foolishness in general), it’s hard to say. As famous manly man Ron White says: You can’t fix stupid.

    • PoeTentiate

      Raw commentary from a proud Bigot/Female Supremacist. It Illustrates the depth of the hate that we oppose.

  • HeraSentMe

    Laws are rules, frequently arbitrary. And?
    I won’t be pursuing any pointlessly dangerous hobbies. As I said, doing so is stupid and I try to avoid stupid. But thanks for your concern.
    Suicide is almost always stupid, as it ends any chance to fix whatever’s broken. It’s almost always selfish, too. Stupid and selfish, now who does that remind me of…
    Suicide can be a rational decision. To put an end to unbearable pain from a fatal condition, as example. Or to avoid betraying somebody under torture. In response to a temporary situation, as suicide usually is, is not rational. It’s usually stupid. And selfish.
    A woman’s life provides no life experience? Any life lived provides experience. A worm’s life, even. Or yours. It’s just some lives are sadder and more pathetic than others. Like yours.
    Yes, getting a university degree is smarter than not getting one, considering the lifetime difference in income between degree holders and people too stupid to be degree holders. It’s just math. I’ve heard men are supposedly good at math.
    There are also the less tangible aspects of getting an advanced education. Learning why not to be like you springs to mind.

  • HeraSentMe

    Generalizations are all you can make when dealing with a large population. That means there will be many outliers. It’s possible to be dealt four of a kind and still blow the hand. (I’ve been told men like poker references. Also that they like to pronounce it “Poke-Her” and laugh.)
    A Levels? That makes you what, British?
    I’ve been interacting with Americans here, I think.
    The societal situations are different.
    Also you lot tend not to be as stupid. Something in the water, maybe.
    Yes, I ad hominem here. They ad feminem here. In fact this whole site, and the “movement” it fronts for, is one long ad feminem attack.
    Sauce for the goose, etc.