Human Male

If you see Jezebel in the road, run the bitch down – Part II

TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains copious amounts of sarcasm, which is yet another tool of the Patriarchy, and the author’s assertion of his Male Privilege.

We have already covered an article here about how Jezebel, an online feminist publication that focuses on pop culture, promoted violence against men. [See Paul Elam’s, If You See Jezebel in the Road, Run the Bitch Down.] They asked readers to share their oh-so-hilarious stories of when they’d wailed on their husbands or boyfriends, for whatever reason.  In one case, it was because the guy said he thought that he had breast cancer (newsflash: Men actually CAN get breast cancer.  Look up Brian Piccolo.)  In another case, it was because her boyfriend caught her writing a sex story about herself and another guy, and he confronted her about it.

Well, as if we needed any more proof that feminism promotes violence, Jezebel published an article (translation: they lifted it from somebody’s blog and published it as their own) in which a woman tells about the time she hit a man in the face.

The author, who is a lesbian, talks about a time she was walking through the streets of Boston and had a bunch of drunken frat boys whooping and hollering at her and her girlfriend.  They said such soul-destroying things as “Hey, you girls wanna sleep with me tonight?”, “Hey, baby,” and “Ooooh!”  Normally, this woman just took it in stride.

Then, the unthinkable happened.  A guy stepped out and spoke directly to her.  Can you imagine the horror?  She was so shocked by this act, she doesn’t even remember what he said to her.  So, she did what any rational human being would do when being addressed by a stranger: she punched him in the face, then acted totally surprised when it made him so angry, he called her a “fucking dyke,” which is a totally heinous hate crime that should have earned him a lifetime in prison.

What’s most revealing about the mindset of your typical Jezebel isn’t that this article was published on their site at all, it’s the comments underneath.  If you don’t have time to read them, I’ll sum a few up.  “I applaud you for standing up for yourself and women everywhere.”  “You did the right thing.”  “This’ll teach men to watch themselves.”  “Men have no idea what it’s like for us.”

Really?  Nerdy guys don’t know what it’s like to be called names or threatened with violence?  Gay men don’t know what it’s like to hear homophobic slurs?  Men never feel any fear walking alone at night, despite the proven fact that they are far more likely to be assaulted than women?

No, you don’t understand.  This guy was saying things to her.  SAYING things!  She was well within her rights to hit him, because women are such delicate, fragile flowers that can’t bear to have anything about them challenged in any way, shape, or form.  If a woman punches a man for a crude remark that she can’t even remember, that’s perfectly fine, because she was just lashing out against the Patriarchy, and doing her part to help end Rape Culture.

Yours truly tried to point out the hypocrisy here by posting a hypothetical situation in which all the same things happened, only the sexes of the parties involved were reversed.  Needless to say, this little stunt got me banned from Jezebel for life.  I’m not surprised, and I’m not angry about it.  I should have remembered that, like sarcasm and harassment, logic is a tool of the Patriarchy.

Feminists keep insisting that, barring reproductive capabilities, men and women are completely the same.  Well, except for when there’s violence involved.  Then it’s always the man’s fault, especially if it was the woman who threw the punch.  He is, after all, a part of the all-consuming patriarchy, and nothing that he does or experiences could ever make him otherwise.

So take note, men: if you ever dare to say something to a woman that she doesn’t like, she is well within her rights to hit you, and she’ll be right to do so.

You filthy, sexist pigs.


About Phil in Utah

Phil in Utah is a part-time student of Religious Studies at Utah State, and a full-time student at FTSU. An unapologetic hippie redneck, he is equally proud of his affinity for Shakespeare and his ability to spit fifteen feet. He has a blog at

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  • AntZ

    Meanwhile, the boob king Futrelle has been singing a mighty sermon, stirring the faithful into a frothy fury because a few MRAs responded to an April fool’s joke by saying it would be OK to tummy punch a GF to prevent “genetic material” theft. Differences:

    1) The Jezebel article describes a real punch, the reddit punch was an April fool’s joke.
    2) At Jezebel the article supports the violence, at reddit only a small number of comments support the violence.
    3) At Jezebel the punch was retaliation for verbal harassment, at reddit the punch was a desperate attempt to prevent theft and 18 years of indentured servitude.

    If someone is stealing a TV, I have the legal right to punch him or her, to prevent the theft. I personally would not throw a punch to prevent theft, but I recognize the legitimacy.

    How can feminists not recognize the legitimacy of throwing a punch to prevent theft of genetic material that carries a $250,000 liability? Not to mention the emotional, legal, and health consequences.

    • Phil in Utah

      I wouldn’t worry about Futrelle. What little credibility the Booblord had, he is losing fast.

      • scatmaster

        Paul mentioned his hits (website hits calm down mammary man) are decreasing. I would like to know what website one accesses to view traffic for websites. I would like to revel in mantits declining relevance.

  • valdez_addiction

    Come on guys… She only punched him in the face. Serves him right for saying stuff.

    • Phil in Utah

      Even the cast of My Little Pony thinks she overreacted:

  • Jean Valjean

    Someone asked me once if I ever hit a woman. I said, “No”. But if she really hurt me, if she attacked me, if I really felt I had no choice or I couldn’t just walk away then yes I might hit her.

    I told them I’d hit her right in the vagina. That’s the one place she isn’t going to show the cops when they get there. What’s she gonna do? Whip it out and expose her cooter? And those things take such a pounding anyway I doubt I would even leave a mark.

    Plus, I hear getting kicked or punched in the money maker hurts almost as bad as getting it in the nuts.

    Now, is it wrong to hit a woman? Well let’s just say if you go far enough down the rabbit hole with a feminist she will justify violence against men in a number of different ways.

    Essentially, if women don’t leave a mark (damage the man) then it’s OK.

    I’m pretty sure I won’t leave a mark on her vagina (at least not one she’s going to take to show in tell with popo). So, using feminist “logic” I’m not really committing violence against her.

    • Phil in Utah

      Oh my, looks like Jezzy sent a footsoldier to downvote every comment.

      • Steve_85

        They missed a few…

    • scatmaster

      I have mentioned on this website that my wife is my jailer. Thanks to Paul, Dr T, et al I am slowly turning around my relationship. This website has given me the confidence to stand up for myself.
      One of the things I told my wife during an argument was if you ever hit me over some perceived verbal slight I will smack you right back so you better make the first one a good one. She did it once and it has never happened again. Is everything hunky dory in our relationship because of it. Nope, but it is a means to an end what ever that may be but I am not walking on egg shells as much anymore.
      An example is I gave money to AVFM for the current seasonal campaign and my wife (who does the books) asked me about donating money to some Stacey person. I told her (in a stern but not threatening voice) it is for the A Voice For Men my favorite website making it clear that there was no debate involved here. Her response was “Okay, just wanted to know”. That is progress and all it took was an equal measured response to her physical attack on me. I do recognize however if she had picked up the phone and called the cops I would not be here on this website talking to you. I would have a different kind of jailer. There is much work to be done.

    • Otter

      Some girl attacked me in 6th grade. I hit her and she ran off crying. They almost crucified me for defending myself.

  • OneHundredPercentCotton

    Kneeing a woman is bone smashing bone and indeed stunningly painful.

    …I didn’t mean to. It was truly a knee jerk reaction…

  • Rper1959

    “So take note, men: if you ever dare to say something to a woman that she doesn’t like, she is well within her rights to hit you, and she’ll be right to do so.”

    Yep it’s enshrined in legislation, you provoked her to violence! She is the victim practicing her right to self defence against your verbal abuse ! Exception 1. if she verbally abuses you, and you hit her in response , then of course you are to blame for being unable to control you innate violent urges.

    This is gender equality VAWA style.

    • Raven01

      I have personally witnessed that dynamic.
      It is one that hopefully Dr.T and Paul will cover in one of their new shows. I know the simple answer is “get the hell out at all costs” (And that is the advice I offered upon witnessing it).
      I’ve noticed that women have superior ability to be verbally abusive. No one hits below the belt like an entitled pwincess that does not get the response she wants.
      I’ve even seen women that seem to enjoy provoking a violent response, even if it is directed at them. These people are severely damaged goods.
      Every bit as capable of making life a living hell for those involved with them as the direct and physically violent women out there.

  • Steve_85

    Women seriously need to be careful about who they start shit with.

    Feminism has gifted us with a generation (or two) of guys who just don’t give a fuck about women. At least one guy I know has had to be physically restrained from going after a girl who was arguing with him and decided she could win by getting physical. Needless to say he went after her. It took 3 of us to stop him long enough to calm him down.

    After the fact he said he didn’t remember what happened… that isn’t anger, that is a rage blackout. If he hadn’t been restrained he probably would have killed her, and not remembered doing it.

    Be VERY careful about starting fights (guys too) because all the assault and domestic violence laws in the world aren’t going to help one bit if you’re dead because someone snapped.

  • Sean Gonzalez

    Every time I read things like this about women stepping out and attacking a man for ANY reason, I wonder why the fuck they don’t just clock them back so hard it knocks them back to the days of yore and petticoats. I know I shouldn’t think violently, but by God! After having been mauled by women and women assisted by men, I live the way Paul Elam described,”Ya throws the punch, ya takes ya chances!” and I believe that there would be a fuckload LESS of these dumbshits willing to throw hands at a man if they got brought up short like that little cuppycake that got laid out for attacking the man from behind on that video!

  • Rad

    Hold the line, Phil!

  • criolle johnny

    I was raised to “never hit a girl”.
    With apologies to my grandfather I have modified that.
    “Never hit a lady”. One never has to do so.
    I won’t hesitate to knock a bitch out if the situation calls for it.

    • Sting Chameleon

      My grandma always told me that a proper lady never strikes a man, and to treat violent women like violent men.

  • Bombay

    If a person hangs out in areas/people where jeering happens, then what do you expect, whether you are male or female. The difference is that men know this and women want to pretend they are on a slut walk with no connection with their surroundings. Perhaps she needs a cash cow so that she can frequent a high quality neighborhood. I doubt she can given her social skills.

  • Introspectre

    Let me just add, what my sensei taught his students: a woman who physically attacks a man, should be treated like another man. After all, she’s earned it.

    • Atlas Reloaded

      Oh that is awesome! MY sensei pointed out that martial arts are, after all NOT about superior strength and size and are perfect for women. So, if a woman who does martial arts wants to abuse that……

      • Phil in Utah

        Truly dangerous women lack the discipline necessary to best a man in martial arts.

      • Introspectre

        True, combat oriented martial arts, are force equalizers. In my school, we use evasion, battle angles and attacks that almost exclusively target the anatomical vulnerabilities, that all humans have in common. Combined with constant distractions, it allows even small light people, to cripple or even kill, much larger, stronger opponents, without using much strength at all.

        That’s a good example of why, people who think you shouldn’t hit a woman, no matter what, are being unrealistic. Even angry unfocused people can do a lot of damage with this system; if it’s been ingrained into their bodies, over time. Of course some of the guys in our class still objected with, “You never hit a woman!”, lol.

        Unfortunately, I recently found out that the Grandmaster of our school, (not my sensei), has given special training to some rape crises centers. I hope he realizes the kind of dangerous imbalanced people, (man hating, unaccountable, feminist staff members), he’s potentially training but; the Ninja historically didn’t care what you did with the art as long as you successfully achieved your ends. That philosophy continues to exist in our system, it seems.

        • Atlas Reloaded

          Ah yes, you did Ninpo. Yep they didn’t care how it was used primarily because it was meant for killing people anyway. Kung Fu San Soo tends to be the same way, but my Kenpo teacher was very adherent to Ed Parker’s very traditional (not to mention a bit white knight) view on things. Which he considered very ethical.

          I liked my San Soo I took later the best. Because it has a very “zeta male” mindset. lol I mean in that it is all about “just get ‘er done and don’t be concerned about looking macho-brave-studly-tough”.

      • Muk

        And I would call B.S. on your sensei
        Martial arts may make up for a 10-20lbs disadvantage, but it won’t for 40lbs+

        • Atlas Reloaded

          You know if this were back in the day about 18 years ago I would have read you the riot act about how wrong you are and now “even a 90 lbs woman can whoop a big, weight-liftin stud” now, I tend to think you’re right.

        • Introspectre

          I’m about 150 pounds and once levered a 300 pounder onto my back, (in training), choking him out the whole time. If you attack joints, understand leverage/positioning and distract effectively; it’s amazing what’s possible.

    • Lucian Cross

      I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. My mother, a single parent who genuinely believed in and advocated for equality (not equality+) taught me to avoid violence whenever reasonably possible. But if violence was unavoidable I should destroy my opponent. Not defend myself and run when possible; destroy.

      Couple that with what I learned from my first instructor:
      in a fight you aren’t facing another person. their age, sex, income bracket, or favorite food is all irrelevant. by wanting to cause you harm they have declared the value they place on your life.

      Generally I have been fortunate in that once people understand these things, we find peaceful ways to resolve our concerns.

  • scatmaster

    A little OT.

    I just purchased tickets to see Jersey Boys on Broadway this summer for my wife and myself.
    Did not even ask her permission either.
    Here are the lyrics to one of my favorite songs of theirs.

    Oh, how you tried to cut me down to size
    Tellin’ dirty lies to my friends
    But my own father said “Give her up, don’t bother
    The world isn’t comin’ to an end”

    Walk like a man, talk like a man
    Walk like a man my son
    No woman’s worth crawlin’ on the earth
    So walk like a man, my son

    Bye bye baby, I don’t-a mean maybe
    Gonna get along somehow
    Soon you’ll be cryin’ on account of all your lyin’
    Oh yeah, just look who’s laughin’ now

    Walk like a man, fast as I can
    Walk like a man from you
    I’ll tell the world “forget about it, girl”
    And walk like a man from you

  • ForsakenEagle

    Oh brother. So what he said was SO horrible she can’t even remember exactly what is said? Men can be beaten and arrested for lies, and now even “words so horrible I don’t even remember what he said”? It is a good thing this is a country (US) where the accused are innocent until proven guilty.

    (BTW, that last sentence was sarcasm. I don’t want those oppressed by the evil Patriarchy™ to get confused by my privilege.)

  • Adi

    In case somebody hasn’t seen it yet:

    • Phil in Utah

      “He pulled out my chair for me and ordered for me like I was a helpless child. I was so offended, I made him pay for the whole meal.”

      The sad thing is, I can actually imagine a Jezebel contributor saying exactly that. What a bunch of losers.

  • andybob

    “Men have no idea what it’s like for us.” Jezebelezbian

    How often have you heard this? I remember a time when I would concede to this sort of statement. Not because it ever sounded fair or reasonable – it always had a stench about it. It’s just that I didn’t know how to reply to it. Now I do.

    Thanks to sites like AVFM, I am now aware that these few words constitute one of the most loaded comments in existence. It’s purpose is to manipulate, insult, exploit and shame the men it’s directed at.

    Comically, many women imagine that it helps them to dodge responsibility when asked sticky questions.
    For example:
    Mr X: “Why did you punch that man in the face?”
    Jezebelezbian: “Men have no idea what it’s like for us.”
    Mr X: “Oh.”

    Next time a woman tells you that you “have no idea what it’s like”, ask her what she means by “it”. When women make this comment, they’re not saying that we don’t have the same experiences as women, they’re saying that we don’t have the same emotions. We can’t understand how they feel about their experiences because we have no feelings. We don’t experience things like fear, apprehension, loneliness, loss or pain.

    Apart from denying us our humanity, while venerating their own, women get to insinuate that we are too stupid to comprehend the ‘complex tapestry’ of the female psyche as it responds to life on a deeper level than our own, being neanderthals and all. Pointing out that she is ‘special’ is meant to imply, by comparison, that you are not.

    Next time a woman makes this absurd comment, ensure that you clarify that you are fully aware of the staggering assumptions that she is making about you – and that all of them are deeply offensive. It’s meant to make you feel guilty about not putting in the effort to understand her. Ironically, all she has really achieved is reveal her deep ignorance about you.

    “Men have no idea what it’s like for us,” is a damning example of female narcisism. Designed as a weapon against men, it is revealed as nothing more than a red flag cloaking surly, violent women who feel they are too evolved to have to explain their atrocious behaviour to the like of us.

    • Adi

      There are two problems with the statement “men have no idea what it’s like for women”:

      1) It’s non-falsifiable
      2) The same can be said for any two people (regardless of their sex or anything else).

      Either one of those nullifies the argument. It’s nothing but sympathy-hoarding dismissive misandric self-loathing validation-seeking failure-excusing tantrum throwing narcissistic self-pitying slave-moralistic quackery disguised as reasoning.

      • ThoughtCriminal

        There are two problems with the statement “men have no idea what it’s like for women”

        There aren’t any problems with the statement at all.I have no idea what it’s like to be offended to the point of wanting to commit assault by someone saying I’m sexually attractive. I could be wrong,but I don’t believe any other men do either.

        Even if some nasty fat chick tells me she wants to have my baby, I’m still not going to punch her.

        Someone paying you a compliment carries no consequences at all, not like some other words women freely sling, like “stalker”,”rapist”,”pedophile”,”creep”,”wife-beater”,”abuser”,”misogynist”,et al, which can get you violently attacked as sure as being a heterosexual man around modern women can.

        Forgive me,Jizzabellians, if I ask you to clean up your own house before getting offended that some of my brothers practice their sexuality in a manner you find just a bit uncomfortable,but which nonetheless is probably not going to be life-threatening to you.

        • yurlungur

          Basically – you’ve no idea what it is to be me!

    • Phil in Utah

      Never thought about it that way, Andybob. Guess I’ll have to keep that in mind.

  • MRA.

    Really? Nerdy guys don’t know what it’s like to be called names or threatened with violence? Gay men don’t know what it’s like to hear homophobic slurs? Men never feel any fear walking alone at night, despite the proven fact that they are far more likely to be assaulted than women?

    Just school should remind them that girls specially the hot-popular-center of attention bully the nerdy friendzoned guy.

    What about high school? So they think men are “harassmentproof” maybe patriarch protect us, I’d like to know how.

  • Muk

    I like how she describes his response to her physically assaulting him as him spewing “anger and HATE

    Bitch, you ASSAULTED him, and you expect him to be all rosy and friendly to you?

  • Auntie Pheminizm

    > “Next time a woman tells you that you ‘have no idea what it’s like’, ask her what she means by ‘it’.”

    I usually say, “You could be lying.”

    If someone tells me what life is like on Mars, I have nothing to compare it to. So why should I believe them?

    In this case, the woman could be making things up.

    Like me telling her what getting a “night boner” is like. I could lie and she’d never know.

    That’s the problem with wimminz saying they are special snowflakes. There’s no reason to believe them because no way to verify what they say.

    • Dr. F

      Excellent point Mr Auntie bloke,

      You know, sometimes I think about how I am pretty numb with all of this woman / man thing, that if I ever get into a conversation where my response is supposed to give empathy or disagreement or a nod I will simply suggest I just do not care really.

      Not anymore, not now anyway in the landslide of it all.

  • Auntie Pheminizm

    > “sometimes I think about how I am pretty numb with all of this woman / man thing…”

    Honestly, I think that’s the reason why most men aren’t red-pillers…yet. They, like most guys, have better things to do than fight a gender war. The problem is, as with most wars, one party refuses to play nice.

    Feminists long ago could have sat down with men and said: “We would like to re-write the social contract. Are you game? What would YOUR team like changed?”

    But no. Instead, they kept hammering half the world, blaming men for everything.

    And just when you thought they were done listing grievances, out would come a thousand more. Being “looked at” became a crime. NOT being looked at also became harassment.

    On and on it went, feminists never-ever-ever stopping their gripes, not once admitting women were responsible for some things, too. Of course, expecting them to note male pains was unthinkable.

    So here we are: manhood pushed to the edge of the cliff. We either fight back now or agree to be gelded, harnessed, blinkered, and silenced by mouth-bits…mere beasts of burden on feminist not-so-funny farms.