I just recently read an article from the “good men” project written by Hugo Schwyzer entitled; I may have a son, but I’ll never know for sure. I already knew what the article was about before reading it. Not because of the title, but because the link was on the men’s rights reddit. A nifty little gadget reddit is. Hugo basically explains to his readers how he might be a father but he doesn’t know for certain. That isn’t anything new. Many millions of men in the USA alone live through the same dilemma. It’s the reasoning Hugo puts behind why he doesn’t know and what he does to ensure the child’s parents don’t know that sickens me.
This whole story Hugo has put forth may just be an elaborate fabrication in order to examine the response of his readers but considering this is the same man who feels that men should pay for women on dates because men generally make more money than women, I doubt this story is a hoax. No, I’m sure that this man is proud of the misandric bigotry he enables with every sentence he writes.
So what has Hugo done that has made my blood and the blood of several other men boil? The story starts out harmless enough. Hugo claims that in his younger days he had a friend with benefits whom he refers to as, Jill. He and this woman would sleep together without protection on several occasions. There was another man Jill was seeing whom Hugo names, Ted. Hugo claims that this woman broke off their friends with benefits relationship before she became aware of her pregnancy. I doubt it.
what happened next is one of the most evil acts two people can do to another person
“Jill wanted to be a mom. Ted wanted to be a dad. I wasn’t sure what I wanted. In her mind, these facts settled it: the baby was Ted’s. Or it needed to be Ted’s.”
In her mind is where things were settled because as we all know, motherhood and fatherhood should both be decided in her mind.
Hugo’s story gets worse
“Jill never told Ted that she’d been sleeping with someone else the week their son was conceived. Ted and I were both about the same height with the same fair skin and the same pale blue eyes; she knew that without a DNA test, there’d be no sure way to know which one of us was the biological father. But there was a sure way to know which one of us was “dad material”, and which one of us wasn’t. Jill was clear that she preferred everlasting uncertainty to the possibility of discovering that her Ted was not her son’s father. As the one who carried Alastair in her womb, it was her choice to make.”
So let me get this straight, Hugo. The fact that this woman you may have impregnated carried the child to term gives her the right to choose who the child’s father will be? I didn’t know equality worked that way. I always thought something like this was misandric bigotry supported by feminists but now that you have explained it to me so clearly I see now that I was wrong. Men don’t take part in the creation of a child, men just splash some insignificant liquid around inside a woman’s vagina and then her body does everything.
That liquid from the man isn’t important, it’s just a convenient lubricant for whatever strange lady parts women have in their stomachs that create children all on their own. So of course the woman should have full authority to name whatever man she wants as the father. This has been an Earth shattering revelation for me, Hugo, thank you. Why this common knowledge hasn’t been made law confuses the hell out of me. Too much sarcasm? I don’t think so seeing as how that fucking is the law and is only now being changed.
Opposition to that change comes from (you guessed it) feminists
“I made a promise to Jill before Alastair was born that I’d never ask for a paternity test, nor reveal to Ted the possibility that I might be the biological father of his son.”
Why exactly would this promise even be necessary if you were all in agreement that the decision on who the father will be would be hers? Oh wait…because you weren’t all in agreement, were you Hugo?
No, you see the discussion wasn’t brought up in front of Ted. You made it clear that you didn’t want to be a father and considering the fact that only women have the legal right to relinquish their parental responsibilities without anyone’s permission before and/or after a child is born, you were probably overjoyed when Jill shrugged at your wishes and said, “meh, I got some other guy I fucked, I’ll just tell him it’s his”.
The rest of Hugo’s tale is a slew of apologetic excuse making. In my opinion, he is still trying even now after fourteen years to convince himself that there was no wrong in his decision. At the same time he is condemning men who would choose to seek the truth when confronted with suspicions that the woman they shared their feelings with betrayed their trust.
“I wasn’t in love with Jill and wasn’t ready to be a parent: Ted was both of those things. From what little I hear, he’s been a great husband and a doting father all these years. He and Jill have had two more sons together. With all that in mind, it would be an act of destructive narcissism on my part to ever break my promise and barge back into Jill’s life.”
Really Hugo, an act of destructive narcissism? The way it sounds to me is you’ve already committed that act of destructive narcissism. According to you, this woman you may have impregnated was a good friend of yours. Good enough for her to let you fuck her with no strings attached. But the moment she became pregnant and decided to hook the man who was more professionally stable (read: wealthier) the two of you decided that keeping in contact would be a bad idea. Why is that Hugo?
Ted obviously believes the child is his so there would be nothing wrong with talking to your good friend would there? Unless there was something that made you feel that even speaking with this woman was wrong. Could that feeling be guilt, Hugo?
You reveal this speculation of mine to be most likely correct within your next paragraph
“My role in Heloise’s conception was brief (but, um, not that brief); my roles as a devoted husband to her mother and a doting papa to her are my most treasured and important tasks. If I were to discover that I was not my daughter’s biological dad, I’d be hurt by my wife’s deception – but Heloise would be no less my daughter.”
So basically you ignore the irony of the situation you placed Ted in and reduce the significance of a man knowing the truth about his children to “it’s not mine!? Aw shucks well that doesn’t matter I forgive you for fucking another guy, lying to me about it, and then tricking me into raising a kid I thought was mine.”
I am not a father so I cannot speak from experience when it comes to knowing what it feels like to watch your child being born, knowing it is yours. What I can say is this; if I were ever to start a serious relationship with a woman and planned to have a child with her and then found out that child was not mine, it would fucking destroy me. Not only because of the realization that this woman who supposedly “loves” me has slept with another man, not only because this woman has conspired behind my back to keep this a secret from me, and not because I have been paying to support a family literally born of deceit. No, the thing that would stop my heart from beating would be the knowledge that a child I thought was a part of me was a part of someone else. Like I said I can’t speak on what it feels like to see your child come into this world but I would imagine that a man who witnesses this would feel a special kind of joy knowing that he had a part in creating that new life. To have that taken away, I feel, would be devastating.
This is something I know you agree with, Hugo
Because I don’t think it’s your promise to Jill that held your tongue. I think it’s the fact that you know you would destroy this man if you were the cause of him finding out the truth. Jill knows this too, which is why the secret was her idea. That in my opinion makes her the most evil one of all. Women go bat shit insane when someone threatens to take away their children because those children are a part of them. Women have sued hospitals for mixing up their babies and tracked down their child, demanding it be returned to them because the idea of someone else raising their child as their own drove these women over the edge.
If someone were to tell Jill that there was a mix-up at the hospital, even now I’m sure she’d want to find her real child and tell him the truth. But Ted? Shit…let him go on thinking this kid is his. He loves him so what’s the harm? If there was no harm then there would be no secret. Hugo claims that this other man loves Jill. So why not tell him from the start and let him decide? She already broke off the friends with benefits arrangement with Hugo and the claim is that Ted wants to be a father.
So why not tell him?
The reason Ted wasn’t told right from the start is because Jill knew that if Ted were to find out that the child might not be his, he might not want to raise it. If it was indeed as simple as Hugo claims then telling Ted would have been no problem. Hugo and Jill weren’t officially dating or planning to get married. Once things with Ted became serious she broke it off with Hugo. So if being a father was all only about love then there should have been nothing holding Jill back from telling Ted. What held her back was guilt. Guilt and fear.
She was afraid he would demand a paternity test and she was afraid he would not raise the child if it turned out to be Hugo’s. Then she would have been stuck with the drunk partier about to hit rock bottom instead of the professionally stable (read: wealthy) man ready to marry her.
Hugo can try to explain away the evil in what he and Jill did by throwing the word love in his article as many times as he wants. The fact remains that if he felt there was no wrong in the situation then the truth would not have been hidden.
“Fathering has everything to do with being present after conception and after birth, and very little with providing the sperm to fertilize an egg. Regardless of what a paternity test would reveal, I am still my daughter’s dad – and in every meaningful sense, Ted is Alastair’s.”
Hugo’s twisted sense of reality is wrong on so many levels that if the same situation he placed Ted in were to befall him I would only smile at the irony. His hypocrisy would melt from him like the hearts of so many men who have been destroyed by a society and legal system that views them as mere tools for breeding and supplying finances instead of human beings with rights.
The most outrageous lie from this misandric man comes at the end of his article
“The specifics of human reproduction mean that men may have children of whose existence they are unaware, and they may unwittingly raise as their own children conceived with another man’s sperm. But women have it harder, and not only in terms of pregnancy, labor, and delivery.”
Women have it harder? Did I read that right? So Hugo basically just said that because women give birth to children, a fact that almost guarantees they know their child is their child barring a hospital mix up, men, who for the most part can never know if their child is their fucking child unless they get a paternity test have it easier? Fucking really?
Not to mention Hugo argues against paternity tests so in his perfect world men should just raise whomever a woman says they should raise. If some random woman were to walk up to Hugo and say “hey you’re the father of my kid” I guess Hugo would just smile and say “okey doke” and like the woman worshiping sap that he is, raise the kid with no questions asked.
Some would argue against this scenario pointing out how Hugo could easily resolve the issue by proving he never slept with the random woman. That argument wouldn’t work though because Hugo already said that sperm doesn’t make the dad, what a woman feels in her mind is what makes the dad. It’s her choice because she carried the child in her womb. Right Hugo?
If anyone doesn’t think that’s how Hugo feels well just take a look at his final words
“I may or may not be Alastair’s biological father. I may or may not have other children “out there.” These uncertainties that I know many men share are part of the cost of a habit of unprotected heterosexual intercourse. But the solution to the problem isn’t suspicion or frantic demands for paternity tests, Jerry Springer style. The solution isn’t even the rigorous use of contraception (though that’s a very good idea.)
The solution is to remember that it is love, not sperm that, makes a great dad.”
Hear that ladies? All you single mothers out there who are tired of struggling because you didn’t get knocked up by (or couldn’t fraud) a rich guy, here’s a man ready and willing to pay for your children. Sperm doesn’t matter so don’t worry about any paternity tests just walk up to his house, baby in tow, and start knocking until that wallet opens the door.
Among the many things Hugo Schwyzer is, he is a liar and a possible paternity fraud accomplice. The one thing he is not is a good man.