I recently listened to my first MRM radio show from avoiceformen.com and the biggest thing that stuck out to me was a caller who went by the handle, “Sarg” which I think maybe short for Sergeant, I’m not really sure. The reason why this particular caller stuck out in my mind was because he immediately made the discussion about race.
Being an African American male, I certainly can identify; however, I didn’t see the need to point out racial differences. And I will also admit that for a long time, I thought this was just a black issue. I honestly believed that white men had better relationships than black men, but I never blamed white men for this. I just believed, like so many other people, that black women were just angry.
We didn’t know why, it was just accepted as a social norm. Because of that, I’ll admit that I suffered in silence for a long time. I knew something was wrong but couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It’s just like being Neo in the Matrix, which is why I think the blue pill/red pill concept is a wonderful idea as the metaphor for the MRM.
After getting a little fed up with the constant man bashing parade in my social group, I began to notice something very strange. I started to notice the role all men seem to play in the media. Sitcoms and commercials became more and more offensive. Even my favorite bookstore had mountains of material for women, but rarely any books on men’s issues.
I even began to notice the small, subtle statements that women made in reference to a man’s responsibility. Of course they had no problem making loud statements about how sorry men are; the other type however, told a different story. One day I was watching television with my girlfriend. Nothing in particular, just surfing the channels and an advertisement for the reality show, “Ice love Coco” came on. My girlfriend turned to me and said, “Do you think Ice T is using her?” The question immediately struck a nerve. Actually to be honest, it pissed me off.
The first thing that popped into my head was the male/female gender roles. Or, more importantly, what my girlfriend thought they should be. The fact that they were an interracial couple didn’t really make a difference. What pissed me off is that fact that my girlfriend felt that because Coco was a successful model, Ice T must have had some sort of angle for marrying her. It didn’t matter that he was already a successful rapper/movie star/sitcom star. I dare say that it’s very possible that he makes more money than her.
In her mind, he must be using her. Not to mention the fact that the couple have been happily married for much longer than most celebrity couples. She still believes it’s a ruse. Now I’m not going to get into the many issues that my soon to be ex-girlfriend has, however I did feel the need to provide some context and thought that was the perfect example.
It was at that moment that I truly began to understand what was going on. I began to realize this feeling I’ve been feeling for years was a growing feeling of disgust for the lies and false expectations that society has placed on all men. And the more I searched, the more men I found that had stories just like mine. Some of the stories are my experiences almost word for word. It was right then and there that I realized this isn’t an issue that is affecting only one race. This is an issue that crosses color lines and socio-economic lines.
So for the sake of this movement, I’m begging my fellow African American men or any men who would feel the need to separate our situation; please do not fall into that trap. We need to be a united front against this bullshit that we have had to endure for so long. The cost is too high and the stakes are too high to get involved in petty infighting. This is a war and, just like any war, our ranks are filled with men from all walks of life. The important thing that we need to realize is that we have one major thing in common. We are men and at the end of the day we have to cover one another’s ass.
Race or class does not matter. So as I bring this letter to a close I must say I’m new to the MRM but I’m a long time prisoner to the misandry of this society. I have nothing but the utmost respect for people like Paul Elam, Angry Harry, Dr. T, and anyone else who’s leading the way in this movement. I can finally say I see the light at the end of the tunnel. People like them have given me the strength to stand up and no longer accept the shackles of the status quo. This has been a letter to my brothers. And when I say brothers, I mean all my brothers whether you have white, light, brown, or dark skin. Whether you’re filthy rich or barely broke.
Whether you’re fed up husbands, tired boyfriends, or good women who can no longer stand idly by and witness this injustice. You are all my brothers in arms and I plan to be on the front lines of the battlefield from here on out. Angry words, shaming tactics, and death threats don’t scare me. I’ve been stabbed by women, unjustly thrown in jail, and even committed by a woman. I’ve been called a dead beat in child support court even though I supported my children (sometimes at the cost of my own well being). There’s nothing left to do to me. So for all the Feminists out there; you don’t scare me, because I would rather die than live in a world where boys like my sons are treated like their pain and suffer doesn’t matter.
God bless all of you for what you are doing and I’ll see you on the battlefield.