My intention in these articles is an attempt to be part of the solution. To bring to bear some potential insights and observations which, now processed through the red pill lens, may have some strategic merit for the roadmap to a better life. That said, in solving any problem, one must first define it. This can be achieved by subscribing to An Ear for Men and listening to each and every one of Paul’s talks, repeatedly, for two to three years. When you’re done you’ll need to wear welders goggles when engaging women and men so not to be blinded by the consistent eruptions of phosphorus red light emanating from their mouths.
So, now that we understand the problem, let’s talk about it in the context of our objectives.
I feel betrayed. More a symptom than a problem I agree, but this appears to be, for myself and for so many other men, a root issue that remains consistent throughout the grieving and healing process from divorce. I suspect it will be with many of us to our end day.
So why is that?
I think it is many things, not the least of which is our fathers. There are no doubt many fathers that bonded with their sons, treated them with love and respect, like individuals, and fostered a relationship in which trust was established. Said dad provided some or much wisdom to his boy, which was received and registered given the nature of the relationship. Thus allowing the young man to better navigate life’s terrain having an awareness of its topography.
Now as always, the devil is in the details and I suspect that more often than not, those pearls of wisdom were centered around the acceptance of a man’s role as family workhorse. That it is the man’s role to work, to provide, and then when home, to continue working at the behest of his wife. Even without any verbal communication between father and son, this is the message most boys receive, and commit to memory.
For myself, as with many men, my father’s mentorship began and ended with the non verbal message above. Full stop. He believed fully in his blue pill role and that it was his purpose. Nothing else need be communicated. And nothing was.
I must say, my father was a good man. He was a family man. He provided well and gave me a few, once in a lifetime experiences. His marriage functioned as it was intended to function. It was a business arrangement and my mother executed her traditional role well and with intention. My father worked hard all his life, retired, then passed away five years later.
So, with a total absence of truth or practical knowledge regarding women, romantic love, marriage, debt finance, or professional disposition, I ran deeper into the trap from which would inevitably spring a profound betrayal.
As an aside, I can hear the echo of Paul’s mantra, “There are no victims, just volunteers.” This is a critical principle and I am grateful for it as it has guided me forward through my process. That said, it is a rare school aged boy that has the independent and objective self awareness to reject the ubiquitous and all encompassing gynocentric conditioning. We must give ourselves grace and understand that without guidance to the contrary, ones casting in the gynocentric narrative is a lock. But I digress.
The set up now complete, the young man enters adult life and proceeds to build his house of cards. The objective is of course to create the picture postcard life and family our narrative has directed. This is essentially the sole objective of a man’s life in the gynocentric model. It is that blue pill life and it is mapped both genetically and through environmental conditioning, into our cerebral cortex. Neuroplasticity aside, it is a model that looks to be with us for life. I submit that in today’s climate and with the mans values intact, the success of this model rest almost completely with the woman. Specifically, on her being an equal and competent partner. Anyone care to give odds?
So we forge ahead, guided by the media and women’s manipulations, totally unaware that we are betting our entire life’s focus and future, on female integrity.
We choose and court our wife. She mirrors our interests, is easy going, fun. The sex is good, often epic and she is more than willing to do it all, anywhere you please. You are free to hang with the boys, take trips. She tells you everything you want and need to hear. She respects you and praises your accomplishments at work. Little about you bothers her. She assures you any concerns you may have are non issues and you accept. Why? Because it would be totally insane for someone to lie about who they are and what they want in order to get you to marry.
Our conditioning has us believing, falsely and to our detriment, that women and men are the same and as such, think the same. The idea that your wife to be, is flat out acting or lying to your face during courtship never even makes the radar. How could it? For a young man, it is all a validation of the gynocentric narrative. The gynocentric long con. We believe it is love. Romantic love. A real connection with a women that shares all our interests and desires. It is exactly what you expected. It is the beginning of a new chapter in the linear life narrative. It is the beginning of happily ever after.
In reality, she says and does whatever is required to close the deal. To lock you down. To get married. Courtship for her is akin to an audition, an interview for the position of Mrs. You.
The marriage ceremony, the vows, the reading of Corinthians. This entire con is straightforward genius. Just take a moment to read the first paragraph of Corinthians, a staple of virtually all weddings.
1 Corinthians 13:4-13 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Women do not envy? are not self seeking? They rejoice in truth? Are you fucking kidding me?
Post state licensing and a few years later, easily eighty percent of all married men are living with the total opposite of the Corinthians passage. And this is where the betrayal begins to be exposed. We wake up fully rooted in the marriage asking ourselves where all the benefits are for which we signed up. What happened to all that love and respect? It’s just not coming across in the constant nagging, belittlements, and “teasing.” In the domination of the house, it’s décor and how we are told to live in it. In who lives in it, such as her mother, cousin, friends. A home which we acquired and for which we pay and make possible.
How is it that she thinks its ok to practice blackmail and use the vindictive strategy of happy wife, happy life? Why does she believe she can consciously interference with and spoil our personal entertainments and activities? Who does this person think she is?
Fast forward a few more years and most men have either succumbed and accepted life as her worker bee, or are on the brink of divorce due to their inability or unwillingness to accept constant disrespect and abuse while simultaneously having to comply with mandatory adulation of their abuser. And it seems that both paths happen regardless of how much the man capitulates or sets boundaries, changes or says No, tolerates and forgives. The standard among eighty percent of marriages seems clear, it’s her way or the highway. Sweetheart to sweatshop, without a doubt, it is a betrayal.
Now I cannot comment on the worker bees or those that take the “cheaper to keep her” route. That sit in their cars for hours at the park after work so as not to go home. That think the cost of curtains is subject matter for humor at their quarterly “guys night out.” I have no insights for those men that take pride in being her foot stool. That believe her being on a first name basis with the body shop is cute. That don’t realize her exalted multi tasking skills are merely doing a few routine chores very badly.
However, I can comment on the ultimate betrayal. And that is the destruction of your family. The shockingly callus and conscious actions she takes that, in her mind, replace the male in “her” family. For whatever reason she deems suitable.
It is a betrayal beyond words. It is, to quote Paul Elam, “our sacred narrative leading us straight into a brick wall.” It is of course the profound loss of all that you had envisioned for your life. Of a family life, of vacations, of memories, of the nightly routine of tucking your kids into their beds. It is without question, a betrayal of the worst kind. And it is final. There is no crafting a “new normal” that will be your true family unit. Its done. And we have to live with it every day for the rest of our lives. Trying to make lemonade out of lemons.
One may argue you cannot hold such women to account for behaving by design, but I disagree. Men curtail much of their nature and biological drives all the time. A prime example being the suppression of our drive to “spread seeds.” This suppression of male nature is, in fact, a cornerstone of marriage. Its also a control tactic for women to ensure we don’t move our utility and resource to another female, or even share it. Nonetheless, we do it willingly and lovingly. Yet in today’s “evolved” society of equality and woke culture, women think nothing of employing unfiltered, self-serving and destructive behavior without so much as a second thought about the impact on their own children, much less the man that delivered on his side of the contract.
Is this red pill rage? Nope. Is this a bitter tirade? Wrong again Chachi. It is an elucidation of our betrayal. It is the documenting of the failing of fathers, the life long manipulation of our nature, and the control tactics women systematically impose on all men. And it should blow your fucking mind. Only from an understanding and recognition of what is actually going on here, be it consciously or unconsciously, can we formulate a plan and strategy to help our boys.
Look, life offers no guarantees to be sure. But do you want your boys to base their most fundamental life decisions on a narrative we now know to not only be false, but deeply deceptive? A narrative, regardless of origin or conscious intent, designed to delude your son to the degree he willingly walks into his own prison cell? You want him to bet his life on female integrity?
The gynocentric narrative of till death do you part is more than alive and well. Yet the pool of viable women is rapidly shrinking. Our boys are graduating into a world focused on fabricating an illusion of female greatness, the me too bowel movement, a rise in personality disorders, and worst of all, legions of women raised in fatherless homes. Can anyone say “daddy issues.”
Send my boys into this shit storm using a manipulative fantasy as the basis of their reality?
Not on my watch.