Janet Bloomfield, of evil JudgyBitch notoriety, just posted an article, “12 Ways to Spot a Feminist.” It is a parody piece based on article from Psychology Today, “12 Ways to Spot a Misogynist.” She takes the Psychology Today article and switches the term “feminist” for “misogynist” and switches the sexes. Recommending reading of both articles is indicated. They are both telling, and reading the first before the second makes Janet’s all the more punchy.
But it did get me to thinking, which makes everyone around me nervous. Since JB’s piece was a parody, we are still left without a definitive list of the 12 ways to spot a feminist that was written with that intent (even though her takedown of Psychology Today is convincing enough).
I wanted to end whatever confusion there may be about the subject and give you the definitive 12 ways to spot a feminist here, but even that is incomplete for the purposes of the MHRM. What we need here is 12 ways to spot a female gynocentrist, and that is what we shall have.
She insists on taking the softest, lowest paying job she can, uses that as the excuse for depending on men to finance her social life, and bitches endlessly that she is not being paid fairly.
She talks to you while wearing a blouse cut so low you can see her navel, then leans over directly in front of you to indignantly point out where her eyes are.
Her idea of how to protect women from sexual assault is to strip bare and use a marker to write “This is not an invitation to rape!” across her tits.
She tells you that she is oppressed, pausing to text Daddums that she needs another deposit before spring break.
She spends 45 minutes at dinner reminding you she does not need a man, then looks the other way when the check arrives.
She waxes endlessly about her empowerment and agency, then wilts like day old flowers when someone disagrees with her on Twitter.
She expects you to lavish her with wining, dining and expensive gifts, just to spend time with her, then looks you in the eye and denies she is a prostitute.
When you tell her no to something, the shock on her face triggers a Richter measurement and the expected shaking of the ground.
When someone infantilizes her, she does not put an end to it. Instead she sits there giggling and giddy, like a school girl who got away with something she wasn’t supposed to.
When you put a stack of irrefutable evidence and logic in front her that everything forming her worldview is false, she falls silent, starts to tremble, then suddenly turns into Captain Queeg.
Her idea of open debate is brigading Twitter accounts she does not like and having them taken down.
She reads this article, then turns to you and says there are not really twelve items here because numbers are a patriarchal construct and not really real.
Now, we could do a list of the 12 ways to spot a male gynocentrist, but we really don’t need to. Just take a look at the list above and spot the guys who are standing there with their thumbs up their butts, allowing it to happen.