Buoyed by their utterly failed quest to get people to stop calling them bossy, feminists have identified a new verbal microaggression – the word rabid, as in rabid feminist. Feminists took their rabid campaign to the citadels of the Oxford English Dictionary, where, after brief volley of illogic and butthurt, the lexicographers surrendered, as if English were somehow French.
The Washington Post, in their confused and slanted article on this tempest, implied actress Meryl Streep was a feminist (she identifies as a humanist and not feminist) and asserted that “rabid” gives “feminist” a negative connotation when in fact it is “feminist” that denigrates “rabid.”
Huffpo Canada noted that the OED eventually caved on the issue.
In fairness, the rabies vaccination I received in 1994 allows me to view these terms more objectively than any jejune WaPo or HuffPo reporter.
Youtuber Teal Deer (TL;DR) had a nice video summarizing the imbroglio but a rabid hater had it taken down. After some tweaks, TL;DR uploaded a more thorough version.
Feminists, of course, have an abusive and tortured record with dictionaries: they use the literal definition of feminism to abusively coerce opponents to buy into the misandry of “#KillAllMen,” and they torture the definition of sexism so that they can act as sexist as they please without letting that particular word be used to characterize their man-hating behaviors.
The chatty lexicographers in the once fictional novel 1984 were responsible not for documenting language, but rather, razing it: they laboriously tracked down problematic ideas and terms and merged them into the catchall “thoughtcrime” – they had the disagreeable task to take the language they loved, and slowly destroy it to further the hegemony of the state over even a person’s most private ruminations. As a result, those fictional lexicographers met a mysterious and horrific demise.
In an identical way, their contemporary counterparts are taking the first faltering steps to the precipice: they were once the Counts of Dictionaries, and soon they will be remembered as the collaborators of feminist cunts and dicks.
However, if these beleaguered scriveners can rediscover a Churchillian defiance to the feminist thought police, that juggernaut can still be trumped. To that end, you febrile Clarks, I offer you the chance to augment your venerable tome with some neologisms designed to encapsulate the nuances of the feminist hordes into a useful taxonomy, vexing them so they can fret over it for decades.
In other words, I’m going to note or create some new words to describe feminists to expose their lies and piss them off.
Choice feminism – a branch of feminism concerned with affirmatively sanctioning all decisions a woman might make, especially those that contravene feminist theory by reinforcing gender stereotypes such as motherhood, hearth, or childcare. Choice feminists generally reject the idea that certain things like movies can be feminist in nature since such a characterization might inadvertently dissuade some women’s life choices.
Prime feminism – a branch of feminism concerned with dissuading or forbidding women from certain life choices that reflect traditionally feminine pursuits. For example, a feminist who asserts that a female character is acting in distinctly feminist ways is a prime feminist. Prime feminists may variously oppose shaving below the neck, childbirth, nursing, beautification regimes, compassion for men and children, and so on. Prime feminists, like prime beef, are more highly marbled than other grades.
Select feminism – an inferior branch of feminism that waffles between choice feminism and prime feminism, is trashed by both, and yet manages to emulate neither.
Feminist leader – a nearly extinct or mythical creature, often nominally human, who would, in theory, advance feminism in a coherent and effective way. According to a new feminist poll reported by the Washington Post:
While there was never much question as to who were the prominent faces of the Second Wave — Friedan and Gloria Steinem among them — the new feminism is largely leaderless and faceless. Asked to name a figure who represents feminism, for example, 58 percent of participants in last summer’s Post-Kaiser poll chose “no one” or offered no opinion. Only Hillary Clinton, named by 22 percent of the public, was cited by more than 3 percent of those taking the poll.
That people see Mrs. Clinton as the brightest anodyne star of feminism does not bode well for the future of that movement.
Faux feminism – the branch of feminism that departs from gender equality in favor of supporting special women’s privileges up to and including female superiority. Feminists who support abortion rights for women only, default child custody for women, mandatory child support for men, circumcision for men, male-only mandatory Selective Service, and so on, are faux feminists.
Coulrohirsute feminism – literally, “clown-hair feminism,” a branch of feminism concerned with destroying women’s physical attractiveness in order to “subvert the male gaze” (remove, perhaps inadvertently, women’s sexual power and influence over men.) Outlandish, repulsive hair treatment regimes are emblematic of this cult, reified by the feminist archetype known as “Big Red.”
Rapine feminism – the branch of feminism that uses rape, fear of rape, and false rape allegations, usually cynically, as tools to further their political and ideological agendas. The Roe v Wade court decision, which began as a rape hoax, and the Rolling Stone article on the (falsely alleged) gang rape at the University of Virginia are both examples of rapine feminism.
That’s enough to get you started, I think. Just remember, every time you apologize to a feminist, they get angrier, and every time you kowtow, they only demand more.