Custodial Mother

Custodial Mother Karma

Ah, custodial mothers, undoubtedly a topic of much angst with many readers of A Voice For Men. However, I do not intend to turn this article into a diatribe against the world’s mothers as some may suspect. Actually, I do not think any negative or visceral writing I could pen here today could come as close to making a point about custodial mothers than where I intend to go with this article.

I would also like to extend a nod to the many custodial mothers who are a part of the Men’s Human Rights Movement, those mothers who made the conscious decision to either turn their back on feminist ideology and made sure that the father of their children were equally included in their kids’ lives, or those mothers here supporting us today that have male children who most likely are experiencing hell in the family courts (or soon will be).

My story starts twelve years ago when my first daughter was born and I found myself in a precarious position in her life as a putative father (father not married to the mother) and instantly found myself excessively denigrated by a family court system that has a long history of hurting legal fathers, but does so with great furor to fathers who are not married to the mother.

Needless to say, I was turned into an obligatory non-custodial father in the blink of an eye and handed my sentence of visitor four days a month. Being a new father, I figured the world wasn’t such a bad place and figured the custodial mother would be happy that I wanted to be an equal parent in the child’s life; to nurture, care for, feed, bathe, clean, and be involved in every part of her life.

Unfortunately, I was wrong. For the first six years, the custodial mother followed the court ordered visitation to the tee and life was hell. By age eight, the mother was giving me more and more time with the child and by age ten we eventually went to the courts and hammered out the perfect 50/50 shared parenting agreement that continues in effect today. I also must say that I realize I do not have it as bad as most of you here, although one may suspect so given that I am a tireless advocate for fathers in their quest to become equal parents in their kids’ lives.

Actually, some of you may be surprised to learn that I am also a custodial father of a female child who is very young, and one who demands that the court give the mother 50/50 time even though the law won’t allow it in North Carolina.

So where am I going with this post?

Custodial Mothers of the world, be careful in your exhaustive activism for unequal family courts, for thou may seal the fate of your male children.

Today, another child was born in North Carolina, one who will be lumped into statistics as yet another child who came into the world with a loving mother and putative father. Before anyone gets excited, no this is not my newest child, the child is actually the grandchild of the custodial mother I mentioned in the opening of this article.

Now, I suspect many of you are grinning from ear to ear knowing exactly where I am going with this, and you could not be more right. Although, I do want to say that while I should be enjoying the hell out of this, sitting back smoking a cigar and laughing my ass off, I need to control that and remember that this young man has the potential to have his life shattered if the relationship with the child’s mother does not go as planned. But, I am not as nice as many of you may suspect and I am going to take a moment to, with great verbosity and enjoyment, scream from the rooftops…

CUSTODIAL MOTHER KARMA!

Why? Today I watched a Mother, a woman who did everything possible in the first six years of my daughters life to make sure I was nothing more than a marginalized payment provider to HER child became a staunch and very aggressive father’s rights advocate for HER SON who is now a newly minted putative father and did so in the blink of an eye.

Today I watched this former custodial mother fight with nursing staff wanting to know WHY the child did not have the last name of her son, and could not fathom their legal response that in North Carolina he is not a father because he is not married to the mother. When told that her son could sign an “affidavit of parentage” before leaving the hospital which would give him some legal rights IF the default custodial mother of this baby agreed to it, my former custodial mother had a look on her face that I will never forget, and the words will probably stick with me till death.

Grandma (former custodial mother of my child): “What the hell do you mean he can sign a piece of paper? My son is this child’s FATHER!”

Nursing Staff: “Ma’am, I understand, but by law he can’t be considered the father unless the mother allows him to sign this affidavit”

Grandma: “Will this put his name on the birth certificate?”

Nursing Staff: “No Ma’am, this is just a NC Department of Health and Human Services form that they give us to have fathers sign in these circumstances (preparation for child support proceedings just in case). He will have to contact an attorney in order to establish legal rights..”

Grandma: “Are your F’ing kidding me?!?!”

Of course I, having lived this side of hell, sat back, watched, and could have told her all this, but I digress…

What Custodial Mothers AND FEMINIST CO-CONSPIRATORS Can Learn From This Article

Right now, in every corner of this planet, there are soon to be mothers and custodial mothers in a furious fight to maintain their position as supreme lord over their children and who will have no part in the father joining her at the throne. These mothers can be found over on Jezebel, Feministing, BlogHer, and A Circle of Moms conspiring with other mommies about how bad their ex-husbands or boyfriends are and what they can do to make sure he never sees the light of day again. All of this, while they have a male child feeding from their nipple and looking at him in wonderment.

Little do any of these mothers realize, roughly 50% of the worlds militant custodial mothers have male children whom they are working diligently to make sure that he, as a father, will be summarily kicked in the ass by the custodial mother in his life and the family courts. And who, will likely be standing in a hospital or court room one day screaming to high hell about how her son is a father dammit!

All I can do is again say: CUSTODIAL MOTHER KARMA!

But I do have a wonderful message for these mothers, a message that your feminist leaders forgot to tell you when they took your money at fundraisers or put pictures in front of your face of beaten and bloody women claiming that this would be you if the father ever got near you or your child again (likely in an effort to squeeze another dollar out of your pocket an into their non-profit trust account).

My message to you is this: cancel your subscriptions to the National Organization For Women’s mailing list, close your accounts on Jezebel and Feministing, and join the dark side because you will likely find that your new life as an activist and non-custodial grandmother who will likely rarely see her grandchildren is best served here on A Voice For Men.

And remember all those things your feminist co-conspirators told you about your ex-husband or boyfriend, how he is a likely rapist, domestic abuser, and child molester? Yeah well, you just remember that because as they took your money and time then, they have every intention to tell the custodial mother of YOUR son’s child the same thing about YOUR son.

Enjoy your stay on A Voice For Men.

About Michael Sharron

Michael lives in Eastern NC and is new to the Men's Human Rights Movement. His contributions to AVfM will expose radical feminists in North Carolina and their attacks on Fathers and Women in Paternal Families.

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  • justman

    Bad Karma, indeed.

  • Aimee McGee

    OMG the Karma bus has wheels that go round and round.
    I’m here for exactly the reason I’m supporting someone being screwed over by a woman who thinks erasing her daughters’ father from their lives is cool. I don’t know what form the karma bus will be for her, but I’m hoping it will happen some day soon

  • Bewildered

    Karma is always fair.

    • Near Earth Object

      Profound!

    • http://gloriusbastard.com/ JJ

      Muahahahahahahaha;

      YOU say “fair.”

      I say “beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp”

      Hahahahahahaha

  • Theaverageman

    It may be karma but at the end of the day it’s the fathers who are getting fucked over.

    • greg

      Parental Alienation is Child Abuse. The Children get fucked over because a Loving Dad has been removed.

  • Near Earth Object

    “Grandma: “Are your F’ing kidding me?!?!””

    “There are some things money can’t buy.
    For everything else, there’s MasterCard.”

    Great story, Michael.

  • http://www.deanesmay.com Dean Esmay

    Dr. Umar Johnson has written about something that I have now witnessed two cases of, which I’m increasingly thinking of as the “Praying Mantis Grandmother.” These are mothers of sons who become estranged fathers, and these mothers actively collude to have positive relationships with their grandchildren’s mother while saying and doing nothing to support their sons’ presence in their grandchildren’s lives.

    I’ve seen other cases where it’s a little cloudier, where grandmother toadies up to the alienating mother just so she can have some access to her grandchildren. That’s a little different and a lot less offensive.

    With all the talk we have at times about evolutionary psychology, I think we ought to pay more attention to the role of grandparent investment in their grandchildren, which actually turns out to be nearly universal to our species, and which renders at least some pop-evopsych explanations a little wanting.

  • https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Voice-for-Men/102001393188684 Paul Elam

    Great article, Michael. Thank you.

  • Astrokid

    Karma is a bitch.
    There was a Tom Leykis episode in which a single mother calls and breaks down talking about her suicidal son.. who she is absolutely unable to comfort alone.. and wishes that she hadn’t distanced the father.
    I heard this on YT long ago, and have searched for it again a few times, but no dice.
    If anyone can find it, I will be grateful. It will make a great addendum.

  • Carlos

    This is only one aspect of karma at play. The denigration of fathers as parents has weakened the concept of parents and parental rights generally and mothers are increasingly finding themselves treated the way fathers have been treated for decades. Whereas useful idiots once equated “father’s rights” with “abuser’s rights” we are increasingly seeing these same idiots do the same with “parental rights” generally. In disputes between parents fathers are still viewed as bastards by family courts (who ironically create bastards themselves with their decisions,) but in disputes between mothers and the state (eg social workers, CPS, etc) mothers are increasingly being treated like the lowest common denominator, aka, fathers.

  • SJR64

    Thanks for the article Michele!
    Femi-nazi Breast Milk…proteins, enzymes and hormones of misandry.

  • OneHundredPercentCotton

    Sorry. I’m not a believer in “karma”. Oh, hell yes, I know it happens – but I also know most the time the idiots don’t even realize it.

    My son in law’s ex wife (and star of about the worst ex wife story I know) actually has called him crying about a woman doing to her BROTHER what SHE did to him!!!

    …then turns on Nasty Gatekeeper Mode when he asks to speak to his little girl – the tears still fresh on her cheeks!

    Devastating things have happened to both my mother and sister in law after the horror show they put my family through.

    My husband never speaks to his sister anymore, but his mother calls him on a regular basis, crying about the “bad luck” his poor sister’s family continues to have. All three of her kids are in and out of jail FOR REAL, on drugs, forging checks and stealing from Grandma, crippling car accidents, medical mishaps, cancer…

    “Oh, just let it go…” is all she has ever offered when it came to the damage she did our family, but wants to cry and ask for PRAYERS! and “light a candle for us” wah, wah wah!

    AAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!

    It’s scaring me, because now I wonder just how much Karma I am being oblivious to?!?

    • http://thefeministmra.wordpress.com/ thefeministmra

      The sense of entitlement is certainly much stronger in females than it is males. And only seems to be getting worse in the current generations.

      I only hope that one day people, including your son in laws ex-wife finally reach some enlightenment and realization, and work to repair the damage they caused.

      Wishful thinking I know. They never realize what they did, or why it mattered so much; so why would they put the effort into fixing it? Even when it happens to them, it’s rare when they realize they may have done the same to someone else.

      • OneHundredPercentCotton

        Living well isn’t just the greatest vengeance – it’s truly the only vengeance.

        My 88 year old mother has assured me – people like that never change. Her older brother died in his early 80’s, a lifetime of tears and broken hearted hopes his daughters would one day realize how much he loved them.

        Never happened.

        I always advise my daughter to be good to her husband as I have always tried to be good to her father.

        All you have in this world, in the long run, is each other.

        • Kimski

          “I always advise my daughter to be good to her husband as I have always tried to be good to her father.”

          I once heard a really cool wife say this:

          “He’s my husband, I love him, and it’s my job to bring him peace.”

          She was a rare gem as far as wives go, and somehow that sentence always covered all bases to me.

      • Kimski

        “it’s rare when they realize they may have done the same to someone else.”

        Another reason feminism makes so little sense to me: The faceless identity of “The Scary Menz” they fear and hate so much, are never applied to their own brothers, fathers and sons. And by tagging all other fathers, brothers and sons as such, they are effectively destroying the lives of other women, that they claim to support.

        What comes around goes around, indeed.

        • Near Earth Object

          “And by tagging all other fathers, brothers and sons as such, they are effectively destroying the lives of other women, that they claim to support.”

          I wrote this elsewhere today…

          “I’m not saying that feminists are stupid.
          They just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.”

          There are many femavours of feminist, but they all hold to a piece of that inhumane ideology, they call feminism.
          Closer to my point, many of them are outright anarchists. If/when they recognize something as not having their stamp on it, then it must be a part of this other thing they war on and collectively refer to as patriarchy.

    • August Løvenskiolds

      If you can’t believe in Karma, how about the science of Evo Psych: the survival advantage accrued to the genes of the grandmothers who seek to support their grandkids?

      Caring for one’s children AND meta-childen (nieces/nephews, grandkids), keeps gay-related genes alive in the human population – or else, the ongoing survival of gay-related genes become much more problematic. (There are other theories about this, but this is a big one.)

      • OneHundredPercentCotton

        I didn’t say I don’t believe in Karma – I said I just don’t see what good it is since 99% of people don’t even know when Karma’s bitten them in the ass – myself included, I suspect.

        I am a fiercely supportive grandmother, aunt, sister, daughter, wife and MHRA, but don’t have any gay-related genes in the family gene pool so I can’t verify.

    • onca747

      Yeah well, karma can be like sex: Feels absolutely ecstatic in the moment, but then dumps on you a lifetime of hurt.

  • externalangst

    The feminist solution to this dilemma will be the selective abortion of males. The consequences of this will be as obvious to them as was the consequences of alienating fathers. More karma to come.

  • harrywoodape

    The indisputable evidence is that a narcissistic mother will continue to prey on their young throughout their lives. That’s what makes the current situation so exponentially difficult for fathers…that their own mothers may well have been narcissistically self centred and that their fathers were evicted from them. The truth is that the system is supporting this by design – that is – the system is designed to support fatherlessness.
    The people that have engineered things as they are today, are guilty of crimes against basic humanity. They are enemies of good and enemies of freedom for humanity.

    • http://beijaflorbeyondthesunset.wordpress.com Rick Westlake

      My mother raised me as a single mother. When I could have left the nest, I refurbished and re-furnished it for her comfort and safety, stayed with her, paid my share and eventually took over the payments, and bought the house we shared until the night she died.

      I thought I did the right thing.

      Harry – I represent your remark.

  • All Contraire

    Whatever the situation, whatever the relationship, it’s always and only about HER.

  • http://www.shrink4men.com/ Dr. Tara J. Palmatier

    Poetic justice.

  • Alphabeta Supe

    When karma runs over the dogma, the litter will shit on the kitty.

  • MGTOW-man

    Feminists are traitors to their sons. Heck, even “normal” women who side with feminism, are traitors to their sons.

    The question is how long will it take for the sons to realize they are being betrayed.

    I can’t understand why more women of sons aren’t MHRA’s—unless they are traitors too.

    This is just one way that feminism is unnatural, abusive, and oblivious.

  • Nightwing1029

    Be mindful of your actions in the present.
    For the present soon becomes the past, and echoes through the future.

    Don’t know if that is a quote from someone, or if it’s just my philosophical side coming up, but that is the thought that came to mind, reading this.

    People call it karma. I call it more of cause-effect. Sometimes, we do not even see the effects of our own actions.

    But as Newton’s third law of motion states: To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction.

    They are seeing the effects of their actions and realizing, in some cases, that those actions are the direct result of apathy directed at others. Soon, though sometimes not soon enough, that apathy is turned upon them.

    We create in this world, the energy we leave in our wake.

  • Gordon Wadsworth

    What astonishing times we live in.

  • Andy Bob

    It’s all about making connections.

    I once wrote that most women belong in the category which claims to love the men and boys in their lives, but fail to make the connection that the misandry which pervades our culture – that they either support or ignore – negatively impacts those males.

    Those women who gleefully distributed white feathers to men who obstinately preferred to hang on to their lives and limbs didn’t make the connection that while they were shaming some other woman’s son, that other woman was doing the same to hers.

    Mr Sharron’s babymoma doesn’t care about the parental rights of her son any more than she cared about his filial rights while he was growing up. Her concern begins and ends with how this will impact on her position as grandmother.

    Even if her grandchild’s mother exploits the family court using exactly the same tactics she herself employed, she will never see the parallels and make connections. That would require honesty and self-awareness.

    You see, that was different. Her actions were about protecting her child, whereas this is about undermining her rights as a grandmother. That’s just so unfair (sob), not to mention ageist – and probably misogynist as well. She’ll find a way to blame the partiarchy for all this – you can count on it.

    It takes more than something like this to turn such a woman into a full-blown Honey Badger. That requires an inherent sense of justice and fairness. A woman with a history of spitefully undermining her children and their father’s right to relationships with each other, never had those qualities to begin with. I’ll even wager she encourages her daughters to behave the same way she did – just to make it ‘fair’.

    Karma does great work when it wants to, which isn’t often enough for my liking. Otherwise David Futrelle would be locked up with nobody but boring, soul-sucking morons for company…oh that’s right – thank you karma.

  • Kimski

    “Otherwise David Futrelle would be locked up with nobody but boring, soul-sucking morons for company…oh that’s right – thank you karma.”

    ROFL.
    Thank you, I really needed that.
    :D

  • donzaloog

    I love it when karma and reality slap women like that in the face. They deserve every bit of anguish they get, their son doesn’t. They were all for it when it was advantageous to them, so don’t complain now.

  • http://www.NewDemocracyWorld.org Dopesauce42

    Excellent, fuck yeah. Like the way you gave a ‘way out’ for these women and their apologists. Truth is a bitter pill. Typically red.

    No matter what was done to keep dad away, no matter how small or trivial it may seem, when the mom complains about it happening to her son, makes you wanna punch the wall and scream. Gotta focus that into activism! Gonna post some more men’s rights discussion group ads today. Peace!

  • Redfield

    Great piece of writing Michael most enjoyable! Mirth can come from observing a person’s self entitled behaviour come back and bite their ass, and the humour is in the recipient’s inability to see it happening:)

    Your ex might even take the battle to court? She may even start a letter writing campaign to feminist groups and rally support with the State Legislature for “Paternal Grandmother Access Rights.” She may have a good case if she gets some developmental psychology studies on how important it is to the childs development and emotional wellbeing of having the paternal grandmother involved in the child’s nuturing!! Perhaps a spot on TV? Dr Phil? She will have to tear up frequently! A tip would be not to mention the father or paternal grandfather of the child, this by all accounts will turn any empathic response to her plight into stone cold silence …

    Feel your pain and your humour …. hoping the mother doesn’t wield her considerable power and sees the good sense in having the father equally nurture this child ..

  • KPRiley

    Mr. Sharron,
    I used to consider myself a feminist. But, that was back when it actually stood for equal right with males and females in all aspects of life. I guess now I’d have to consider myself an equalist because I cannot agree with the current state of the family legal system and its constant degradation of men. Feminism has been tainted by egotistical, self-serving, tunnel-visioned, self-declared queens of the universe. I write this response to let you know, there are many outspoken, intelligent women who are both confident enough in their own gender and wise enough to realize the world does not revolve around their uterus. I, for one, am very aware of how lucky we are to have dad around. My kids have flourished in ways I couldn’t do on my own because of it. VAWA, family court, and societal views must be changed to balance the sexes and our treatment of each other. It is the only way our children will have the right perspective when it comes to their own children, and the only way we can give kids the best life has to offer. (Including the right to be a parent to their own children)