An anonymous letter from a mom

A letter to a future daughter-in-law, possibly my own:

A few years from now you’re probably going to want to marry my son. Perhaps you already do; he’s kind of hot (if I’m allowed to notice) and his potential is quite obvious, if I do say so myself. He’s only twenty, handsome and well built, and when he lets is hair grow long it’s thick and wavy. He has his father’s beautiful eyes, and my dimples look much better on him than they ever looked on me. Also, he’s in the military; he has finished his deployment and doesn’t expect to go overseas again, so he’s now preparing to start earning college credits. I don’t hover so I’m not certain, but he’s probably going to major in engineering. Or possibly actuarial science. He surfs, rides a motorcycle and a mountain bike, and he maintains a classic car. He’s essentially a decent guy; pretty much everyone likes him or loves him, and respects him. Girls hit on him regularly.

I’ll be surprised if he ever marries though. You see, his plan is to wait until he’s at least thirty, and therefore he will spend the next decade meeting, dating, working with, and probably sleeping with, the product of sixty years of American feminism. I’m pretty sure he won’t find many women worth considering for marriage.

How about we look at it from his perspective, m’kay? Here’s what he sees:

Half of you have been raised without your fathers, yet only a few of your fathers deserved to be kicked out of your lives. You were raised by the women who kicked your fathers out, and perhaps by a string of step-dads and “uncles.” Those women, your mothers, taught you their values by example. Not an auspicious start. Most of the rest of you were raised by fathers who knew damn well that if they displeased your mothers, they too could be kicked out of your lives according to your mothers’ whims. They knew full well who had the real power in the family; they quietly accepted that “mother knows best.”

You were raised in a culture that permits, even encourages, women and girls to always push for more; not necessarily to do more or earn more, but to demand more and to expect more. You were punished far less severely for your transgressions than were your male peers. Indeed your female peers egged you on to be even naughtier, and to be defiant about it. It’s Grrrl Power, after all! The boys of your acquaintance were expected to give in to your shenanigans and your shit tests, and those who didn’t were labelled “problem children” and medicated. Usually, a boy’s best bet was to shut up and grovel, and maybe win your approval. They weren’t allowed to go around offending the Special Snowflakes, were they?

You were raised in a Disney Princess Culture, where every girl is entitled to her Prince Charming. And if she can’t find one, she has the Grrrl Power to kiss any old frog and transform him into a Prince. You were raised to be a slut, at least through your twenties. Go to college. Establish a career. Don’t get married until your late twenties or early thirties, but DO NOT under any circumstances, repress your sexuality. Your foremothers fought hard for your right to be promiscuous with no consequences; don’t you dare let their efforts go to waste.

And since you’re not looking for a husband, there’s no need to sleep with only “good” men, is there? Cuz badboyz r hawt! And nice guys are boring. And hell, you have plenty of time to ride the best cocks you can find – thanks to modern medicine, you can get pregnant after menopause if you want, so there’s no hurry. You are expected to waste your youth and your beauty on hot guys who treat you like shit, then give your leftovers to the guy you’ll promise to love, honor and cherish for the rest of your life. Wow! How lucky is he!

My son looks around and he sees bitchy, arrogant, malicious women. He sees spoiled greedy women. He sees financially irresponsible women. He sees lazy, undisciplined women. (Yes, even in the military; they had to lower the standards so more women could “serve.”) He sees overweight women wearing unflattering clothes that display muffin tops and rolls of fat, who drool over his biceps while telling him that “looks shouldn’t matter.”

He sees slutty women who dress to attract men, sleep with the hot ones, and denigrate the less attractive ones by calling them “creepy.”  He sees “competitive” professional women whose primary tools for getting ahead are affirmative action and the unspoken threat of sexual harassment lawsuits. He sees demanding women who expect men to bow and scrape for the privilege of a smile. He sees utterly irrational women whose “self esteem” is obscenely disproportionate to their proven worth. He sees entitled women who expect romantic dates and expensive gifts, yet have absolutely nothing of value to contribute to a relationship. He sees women who flirt with their hopeful, geeky JustFriends, juuuust barely enough to keep them on a string while simultaneously panting after Alpha Hotteies, then run crying back to those JustFriends after being pumped and dumped by said Hotties. “Oh, why can’t more men be nice like you?” (Answer: if they were, no woman would fuck them.)

Look around you, ladies. You see the very same women, don’t you? Many of you are these women. You think this is normal and acceptable because “everybody does it.” It’s not.

There’s something you should know about my son and his peers. They’re not gay, they’re not lazy, they’re not stupid, they’re not unambitious, and they’re not weak. They’ve merely figured you out. They know that you don’t give a rat’s ass about them, and that you see them as nothing but providers and fantasy sex objects. They are wise to the game and they’re done playing by your rules.

They have the same job titles as you and they take home the same pay, but they work longer hours and they do harder work; they know that their productivity is why employers can afford to hire you to sit a desk and shuffle papers. They know that if two drunk people have sex and both regret it the next morning, only one of them is a rapist. They know that “My Body/My Choice” actually means “My/Body/My Choice/Your Wallet.” They know that the minute they sign a marriage license, everything they own is yours, but nothing you own is theirs (except your debts) and you can walk away with cash and prizes, at any time, for any reason. Or for no reason at all.

They’re calling Bullshit.

A few years from now, you’ll begin asking yourself, “Where have all the good men gone?” You’ll look down your noses at all those guys playing video games and living like frat boys in cheap apartments, and you’ll just know that they could be “doing so much better for themselves,” if only they would “Man Up.” You’ll shake your heads in wonder at their “immaturity,” or their “wasted potential.”  Here’s a little secret. Yes, a few men are immature or weak; they’ve had the masculinity abused or medicated out of them, mostly by their single mothers and grandmothers. But most of them?

They no longer give a rat’s ass about you.

That’s right. They don’t need to work hard and earn a good living. They have no intention of fathering and supporting any children, and no desire whatsoever to earn your approval. You go buy your own four-bedroom colonial in just the right subdivision. That’s what your Grrrl Power is for, isn’t it? So you don’t need a man? Many of these men will even go so far as to quit their jobs as soon as they begin to “earn a good living.” They don’t want to make enough money to pay taxes. They don’t want to pay the salaries of millions of useless (and mostly female) government employees, and they don’t want to finance the personal choices of “Empowered Women.”

Those Empowered Women can buy their own damn birth control. These men refuse to feed your Beast. And you, and your government, and your church, can’t cajole them or shame them into giving a shit. Men are dropping out, ladies. Chivalry has died of blunt force trauma, in a beatdown administered by Grrrl Power. Your mothers, your grandmothers, your schools, your family courts, your sociology professors, have spent the last two generations telling men that the are unnecessary and unwelcome. And now they’re leaving. (Although they’ll be glad to fuck you while you’re young and hot, since you’re offering. Aaaaand then they’ll move on to younger and hotter sluts. Why the hell not? It’s free.)

This is the gift that feminism has given to you: Independence. Scary, lonely, bitter, potentially impoverished Independence. For yourselves and any children you may have. Most of you won’t blame feminism though; you’ll blame Male Privilege (which doesn’t exist.) You’ll blame The Patriarchy (which always gave women a better deal than it gave men.) You will stamp your feet, flip your hair, and blame anything except the single cultural force that has devoted itself to suppressing and controlling masculinity. And you’ll go home alone every night to your cats, your Facebook Friends, and your vibrators. I sure hope that’s what you want.


A Mom.


Author’s Note:

This piece is not about my son. In real life, he is a multi-faceted individual living his own life. In this article, “My Son” is a cardboard cutout of any ordinary, intelligent young man who is considering his future. Sarcasm is my friend, so no, I’m not a bitter aging helicopter mom with Oedipal issues, who believes no woman will ever be good enough for Mr. Perfect.

And yes, NAWALT, I know…

About Suzanne McCarley

Suzanne McCarley is a middle aged widow, an empty-nester, an MRA and a 2A proponent. She never had a career, just a long series of family-friendly Mom Jobs, which exposed her to a variety of people and environments.

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  • Bewildered

    I can’t understand why some people have reservations about female MRA s. Probably it’s the trust deficit brought about by the perceived general behaviour of females these days that is responsible for the paranoia. I would think they are very valuable allies in this noble mission of FTSU of the feminists as they would have a better understanding of their dark inner secrets that are causing all this shit in the first place.

    • Johanus Haidner

      I think it’s purely ignorance that gives people these reservations; some of that intentional. Either they haven’t opened their eyes and seen the world as it is, yet, and are only beginning to understand, or they just don’t want to see the truth because it’s too scary for them.

  • Bewildered

    “I seriously pity these women, but I feel even more sad about the young girls who continously keeps falling into the same feminist trap, genereration after generation, while they create even more broken homes, and more entitlement princesses raised in single mother households, without the mature guidance from someone of the opposite sex, because those same single mothers have created boys that have been taught to loathe themselves.”

    What a legacy ! One thing is for sure ALA this trend continues manginas are not going to be extinct!
    Islam for Europe[Sweden in particular] may not be a bad idea after all ! roflmao!

  • Bewildered

    SUZ & JudgyBitch you are awesome. Keep up your good work !

    In a time of universal deceit – telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
    George Orwell

  • James Williams

    I’d be interested to know why the person who ticks the red box on these comments is in disagreement with everybody? Are you a troll or do you have an intellectual argument to offer as to why you disagree?

    • Suz

      Drive-by troll, tinted windows.

  • Steve Huffnagel

    Translated into Hungarian and published on my blog:

    Thank you, Suz!

    • Suz

      Cool! Thank YOU!

  • Peter Muhlenberg

    Unmitigated crap. I compare the caricature the author provides with the real life examples of my daughter and close friends (all sixteen years out of college, all law school grads, all mothers (apparently) happily married and in all but one case making more money than the man she’s married to (none of the spouses work for the same employer – all are lawyers, where you eat what you kill)

    • joncanuck

      Well, Peter, if that’s true, they are certainly the exception, not the rule. My 1st wife is also a successful lawyer and we were “apparently” happy for over 11 years. We had planned right from the start that I was to be the one to stay home with the kids (when needed), and knew that she would be a better earner than me, because I was a writer and artist. Until she just couldn’t handle that she made more money than me. C’est la vie.

      • Bewildered

        ” if that’s true”

        LOL! Smart man ! You gradually develop that skill of recognizing ad hoc stories.

        • joncanuck


    • Turbo

      Good for you Peter, so your example proves that there is not a problem in the world, and because you have a daughter there will be no problems for you. If you had a son the situation could be massively different, but don’t you worry about that, fuck everyone else.

    • OneHundredPercentCotton

      “all are lawyers, where you eat what you kill”

      Where you eat what you kill? What is it your daughter kills, Dad?

      Innocent men?

    • Sasha

      Yes, but even though your sons-in-law earn a bit less than your daughters, they’re still lawyers, so that probably provides just enough disincentive for your daughters to press self-destruct on their families.

      • Bewildered

        LMFAO! They know too much of each other’s dirty tricks.

  • OneHundredPercentCotton

    I missed the entire month of January, so thank you for bringing it to the forefront…

    I missed a lot.

    My son is getting married this year.

  • Amour

    I found the letter an interesting read. Funny and sad at the same time. There is some truth in what Suz writes, however by the time I finished reading it, I have to agree with Kaitlinmw. I find it weird, that most of you spew hatred towards young 12 to 20 year old girls who know little about anything in life. Girls and boys of today don’t know any better. You bore them into this world of feminsim crap. Stop blaming them. By all means talk to them and guide them. Where does blame get you? Blame doesn’t even make you feel good. So Why?

    You all sound like you are blaming young girls of gen Y, for what men and woman created decades ago. I doubt teenages would know much about feminism anyway.

    I gew up in a household where my father dominated his family (us) with verbal and physical abuse. My mum was came across as a weak victim. So as a very young child, I decided it was safe/better for me to be like my father, aggressive, argumentative and controlling. This way I would survive in life. Or I could be a victim like my mum and be crushed.

    I am who I am today, due to the upbringing provided by my parents. I agree this feminism crap has been very damaging to our futurre youth. But to sit and write such a letter Suz, to females of genY makes you sound very bitter, woman hating, and a little confused. Do you wish you had a penis instead of vagina?

    Kaitlinmw, Shadow and Norwood have written genuine honest truthful posts worth reading.

    You are a good man, do whatever you can to keep your heart free from hate. Look after yourself and never give up on your son/kids. Keep your thought forms clean and positive because what you think you create. There are wonderful caring loving women out there as there are great guys. When you truly believe you deserve a wonderful nurturing loving woman she will come. It’s true you dont need her, you are perfect as you are. It is such a joy to share your life with a loving intimate partner, I hope one day you mayfind this again.

    Suz & disgruntled men thanks for the read. I cant wait to talk to my boyfriend about it all tonight. I curious of his reaction. He has two beautiful educated daughters 13,& 14. Lucky for them he was a great dad. His daughters are well mannered, dress with dignity, quite the opposite to Suz’ letter.

    TEACH YOUR SONS and DAUGHTERS HOW TO LOVE THEMSELVES, BY LOVING THEM UNCONDITIONALLY. This is how change will occur. and remember we are all one love – Amour

    • externalangst

      Amour, I would ask you to open your heart to see the danger awaiting boys and men in this misandric culture. Just pretending all is well and retreating into one’s happy space is a recipe for disaster for males in this age.

      Your advice to just give everyone a metaphorical group hug would likely land males with a sexual assault charge. Suz is a wise woman.

    • Suzanne McCarley

      You misread quite a bit. 12-20 year olds? More like 18-30. It is not merely a criticism, it is also a warning. It is me holding up a mirror and asking if they like what they see. It is me telling them (likely for the first time in their lives) that they have been lied to by their parents, their teachers, the media and their peers. Perhaps you should read it again.

      It’s always interesting to see how people to react to posts like this. What they hone in on and what they completely ignore, says a lot about them.

  • Amour

    I doubt you read past my first paragraph, once you honed in on my reference to 12 year olds. This reference was relating to another article I read around the same time I read your blog.

    That’s great that you see girls and boys have been lied to by their parents, teachers, primary care givers, media and society in general.

    So now you can let go of hating on the youth of today. and maybe do something posivite to support change.

    Turn the mirror around and take a deep deep look. Maybe you angry that you’ve been lied to as well?

    The tone of your blog was initially entertaining then it turned into a whinging, blame attack on young woman. Your tone towards young woman is nasty and disrespectful. I doubt your seriousness for this cause. Surely if change was important to you, you would reach out to the women of today in a way that would actually have them listen to you.

    I didn’t ignore parts of your blog if you read my post, you will see I’ve even agreed with some of what you have written.

    I feel for your future grandaughters, I hope they never read your blog.

    • Suzanne McCarley

      Feel free to pretend it’s all about me; that’s a pretty standard female response. Want to know something scary? This post, here and originally on my blog, has been all over the web, read by many many thousands of men and women. The vast majority of men LOVED IT. Unlike women, who are violently resistant to looking around and recognizing “these women,” men DO look around, and they see “these women” every day.
      And they don’t like what they see. Your shallow opinions about me and my “anger,” are totally irrelevant to the facts I put forth.

      • Bewildered

        ” ..that’s a pretty standard female response. ”

        This must have been the genesis of the ‘banging your head against the wall ‘ smiley !

    • Aimee McGee

      Armour, you want to hear about female anger towards feminism and post-modernism – here it is:
      What we are doing to young women by lying to them is creating a permanent underclass who will vote based on the state supporting them without thinking of the wider ethical principles of law. There is no value given to strong moral parenting at any level of government run organisations. Down stream consequence: status quo maintained.
      On a personal level: I am likely to have a permanently stressed partner whose daughters will never be able to support themselves as adults, because the state has castrated his ability to teach these moral values, by letting his psycho ex wife get away with repeated breaches in the parenting order. Do we collude and support them? What about his future grandchildren?
      I’m the decendant of a suffragist. I’m the daughter of a 2nd wave feminist. My mother has abandoned feminism because of the failure to promote personal responsibility and the rise of victim culture, and I suspect my great-grandmother would be writing for AVfM if she were alive today.

      • Bewildered

        ” I’m the descendant of a suffragist. I’m the daughter of a 2nd wave feminist. My mother has abandoned feminism because of the failure to promote personal responsibility and the rise of victim culture, and I suspect my great-grandmother would be writing for AVfM if she were alive today. ”

        Unimpeachable credentials !

        ” The road to hell is paved with good intentions”

        What a hell it has turned out to be !
        But what takes the cake is the extent of denial.
        Whether it is due to ignorance or sheer stupidity is difficult to say.

        • Suzanne McCarley

          The discussions of this article around the web – all over the world, have been a real education for me. So. Many. Men. – were blown away, and I’ve lost count of how many of them couldn’t even believe it was written by a woman.

          But most of the women – OMG! Every dodge/distraction/deflection in the book. I have Oedipal issues, I’m a helicopter mom (and conversely “she doesn’t even know her son’s major!”) NAWALT, men are fill-in-the-blank-too. I’m a bitter, angry misogynist, they feel “sorry” for me and everybody who knows me. I must be a Christian Fundie (oh does that one make me laugh!) I want women’s suffrage to be repealed… The Rationalization Hamster on meth – Team Fem will clearly do or say ANYTHING to attack the messenger, and make it about me personally, or about them personally, rather than sit quietly and even CONSIDER (let alone address) the message itself.

          It is not a bad thing that women are naturally more prone to openly expressing our emotions, nor is it bad that our hormones cause our emotions to be so variable. It is, however, VERY bad that our culture no longer insists that women consider the real-life consequences of *how* we express our emotions, nor does it insist that we do anything about our “problems” except complain until some man (or more commonly the government) solves them to our personal satisfaction.

          I couldn’t care less about the insults hurled at me over this article; indeed I find most of them amusing or pathetic. What I do care about though, is that modern women routinely hurl insults *instead of* addressing facts, as if hurling insults *is* addressing facts. Modern women can get away with ignoring and evading facts and reality, because someone else (that would be men) is keeping us safe and secure – and we don’t even realize it! Exactly like young children, we women are almost universally unaware that thanks in large part to men, “reality” is now only very rarely deadly dangerous to women.

    • Turbo

      I feel for her granddaughters too, because Suz has a son and there is a huge chance that he will get shafted in Family Court.

      Which will mean that being the paternal grandmother she will likely never even see them, let alone talk about blogs.

      You are ignoring so much. And as externalangst says above, a group hug will solve exactly squat.

      As for this “I doubt your seriousness for this cause”

      Let me ask you something, what the hell have you done for the cause, you do not even understand what it is.

      Holding my tongue here, deep breath, in out !!!

    • joncanuck

      I went back and read your post again, not once but twice, and it really does come off as if you think it’s the writer who is blaming 12 to 20-year-olds. Maybe you need to be more clear in your writing.
      And as a man, I do see the kind of women that are written about in that post on a regular basis. They disappoint me very much.

      • Suzanne McCarley

        She flung a bunch of random shit in my general direction, hoping that some of it would stick. She was called out on it so now she has to backpedal with some variation of, “That’s what I said but it’s not what I meant.”
        She now has four options:
        1. Continue in the same vein, only louder and with naked vitriol.
        2. Debate sincerely and calmly, using logic.
        3. Slink away with her tail between her legs.
        4. Flounce away with a flip of the hair, since it was obviously a mistake for a person of her high caliber to temporarily associate with such mean people as us.

  • Bewildered

    @ Suz Whenever someone says that I am being an alarmist about the relationships between the sexes i will link him to this post !

    But looks like this madness has always existed among us albeit without social approval.Feminism has merely got it approved on the grounds of ‘historical oppression’ of women. But sane voices had warned society about what’s being played out today.

    I often wonder that the modern woman does not perceive that she is killing the goose that lays the golden egg by her attitude toward men. By which I mean to say that it is women themselves who are destroying the things that they value most in life. It is women’s hands that are tearing to tatters the chiffons of romance and sentiment and idealism in which men have always clothed them. It is women who are stifling tenderness and slaying chivalry in the hearts of men. It is women who are doing away with all the graces and sweetnesses that made charm in the relationship between men and women and that incidentally lured men into matrimony.

    Man! Was she prophetic !

  • Evenstar03

    I pray (though i am an atheist), that this WHOLE observation is utterly sardonic, and not an actual interpretation of the Modern Woman.
    Lets be the rational creatures we have finally proven ourselves to be, how can you possibly stereotype the entire female population as being slutty, hubris-driven misandrists?
    Granted, I know many women who fill the criteria, but I also know many women (close friends and passing acquaintances alike) who are the very antithesis of what you have described. They are ambitious with actual work ethics, they detest gossip and stepping on others as a means of success, they are honest relationship-wise, caring only to enter one in the name of the big L and IF they can connect intellectually or at least emotionally with the other. They are not fucking saints, but overall they are GOOD PEOPLE who want to share their lives with another good person. And guess what? They have the same probability of getting hurt in a relationship as your Perfect Son. They have the same probability of being used. Some are single, some are not. They exist and have very real feelings, but you choose to somehow amplify the scandalous and unrespectable demeanor of this cardboard cutout Modern Woman, effectively denigrating these women to Rare or dismissing them as Disposed to Change into an Unpredictable Bitch Anyways.
    I have a friend who has been sexually abused as a child. Thrice. Separately.
    And this time, she could not even Cry Rape because she had never heard of it.
    (Skeptics: READ)
    She is one of these women that will not stoop down to the level of those who violate or insult her. She refuses to take her repressed anger out on the entire male population by being a Cold Hearted Money-Driven Domineering Slut with No Visible Remorse (Did I miss anything?). She still respects men and treats them as equals who do not owe her anything, and does not label them all as just the race that sexually offended her.
    If she did it would be quite hard for her then to choose her soul mate.
    Which despite all that bullshit she still believes exists.

    She understands that you cannot hate a race for the behavior of a few,
    People are way more than a checklist of behavioral problems, they are a confluence of society and time and media. Heck, if you hate this Modern Woman So Much remember that you had a pivotal role in her Creation.

    I as you can obviously see, am an embittered cynic.
    Because I go to class and on the way I have to deal with eve-teasing and keep a straight face, because hey thats Normal to be Objectified Outright in a not so developed country. I then have to carry around a goddamned pepper spray while the media chastises you to not go out alone because hey, You are Asking For A Lot of Trouble and Why are You Out Now Anyways. And women here are literally Forbidden to become President, or work in petroleum mining as an engineer (not because they are Terrible at It for fuck’s sake), or trafficked in daylight. I am literally laughing at this article and cannot go on because I feel utterly mis-imagined and powerless in defending myself in the face of such biased staunch views.

    Next time you think feminism is another manipulative agenda of malicious women, remember that there are women out there who are desperately fighting for a proper cause under this banner.

    an actual “modern woman”

    • Paul Elam
    • Suzanne McCarley

      Oh look, another Rationalization Hamster whose head just exploded. “CLEAN-UP ON AISLE SIX.”

      Sweetie, do you know what NAWALT stands for? “Not All Women Are Like That.” It has been shortened to an acronym because we see it every single day. Several times (“several” being an understatement.) Do you know how we answer it? Here’s a little sampling:

      1. Paul’s response above.
      2. Who said they are?
      3. So?
      4. And your point is—?
      5. We’re not discussing the women who aren’t, we’re discussing the women who are. Get back on topic or GTFO.
      6. Bite me.

      Now please go have a nice day.

      • A. Anthony Villareal

        It’s as if she’s the only “real woman” who ever graced this site with her presence. It’s too bad the novelty has faded with her kind.

      • shadow

        5. We’re not discussing the women who aren’t, we’re discussing the women who are. Get back on topic or GTFO.

        But according to most of the people on this site there are no women who aren’t. So by the reasoning that seems to shine through your own words, you are exactly what you claim to speak against. Since apparently every single woman is like that and anyone who tries to argue on this site otherwise gets their heads automatically ripped off you are a whore, a man user, and part of what is wrong with the world. (it’s your article, add the rest of your description yourself.)

        • Bewildered

          But according to most of the people on this site there are no women who aren’t.

          How did you arrive at this conclusion ?

          • shadow

            Pretty easily. I read what the article and comments say. I saw all the places that say “women are…” Not “some women” not even “most women”. I read the comments to anyone who dares to say they even think there might be a woman out there that isn’t a evil, idiotic, bitch. The ones where they are immediately cussed out in some cases, but nobody even treats them as if they could have a valid argument, they are simply abused.

          • typhonblue

            You’re absolutely right.

            We all think there are no women, ever, capable of understanding and sympathizing with men’s vulnerabilities.

            None. Nada.

            In fact there are no women even capable of recognizing that no women are capable of understanding and sympathizing with men’s vulnerabilities.

            None. Nada.

            Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to disappear in a puff of logic.

          • Suzanne McCarley

            Shadow, you are a Booblet, aren’t you?

          • shadow

            Suzanne McCarley, so, you’re using the same juvenile tatics as everyone else when they realize they don’t have an actual answer, you fling some insult, that you made up yourself, in my direction.

          • Suzanne McCarley

            Not in the least. It’s not a “made-up” insult, it’s a perfectly logical insult. You are commenting in precisely the style of a Manboobz follower – dodges, distractions, and accusations based on false assumptions stemming from faulty logic derived from selective reading and biased interpretations yada yada yada.

            At best you’re disingenuous, but mostly you’re full of shit.

          • Near Earth Object

            @ shadow

            “Suzanne McCarley, so, you’re using the same juvenile tatics as everyone else when they realize they don’t have an actual answer, you fling some insult, that you made up yourself, in my direction.”

            In using the words “everyone else”…what have you done?

            (Assessed reply for unconscious juvenile tatics (sic) and found none)

      • Near Earth Object

        “Oh look, another Rationalization Hamster whose head just exploded. “CLEAN-UP ON AISLE SIX.””



    • Gordon Wadsworth

      “if you hate this Modern Woman So Much remember that you had a pivotal role in her Creation.”

      just GTFO

      • Bewildered

        ..and let the door thump you on your ass on your way out and accelerate your exit !

        • Gordon Wadsworth


    • Near Earth Object

      “Next time you think feminism is another manipulative agenda of malicious women, remember that there are women out there who are desperately fighting for a proper cause under this banner.”


      Please define “proper cause”.

      If you cannot or will not, then by default, it becomes just more empty feminist rhetoric (from a manipulative and malicious feminist, masquerading as “an actual “modern woman””).

      • 98abaile

        “proper cause” is most likely just another bullshit rationalization that people who consider themselves “moderate feminists” use to justify their beliefs of a discredited ideology. If they honestly gave a shit about being proper, they’d make an objective analysis and realise that that women have far more rights and privileges than men, equal opportunity is not the same as equal outcome and thusly that the basis of western feminism doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
        Sadly our society teaches people that women equal good, men equal bad, your feelings mean more than facts and since feminism claims to be for “equal rights” (for only one gender, lol) that it must be a good thing.

    • Bombay


      Recently, I read a book written about WWII authored by a German solider and Nazi. He writes that he fought for his fatherland, was not aware of the Nazi atrocities and that the news he heard was very controlled. In pre internet/TV times that does not seem unreasonable. From his book, he seemed to be a very conscientious man who would have disowned the Nazi party if he was not kept in the dark. Apparently, not all people who flew under the Nazi banner were “bad” people.

      In this age of internet/information, what excuse do you have for flying under the feminist banner?

  • Teebs

    So, so, so true it physically hurts. I was born in 86, and thus grew up in the ’90s during the second hippy movement, and third [?] wave of feminism and all I heard around me during my time in grade school was that ‘girls are better than boys’, ‘girls are smarter than boys’, the ol’ “boys are from Jupiter…” rhyme, and of course the oft spouting of ‘GRRRL POWER!’ as spewed by the Spice Girls and their fans that existed in and around my age group.

    Since at least the age of 8, those catchphrases, and many more, had been hammered into my head time and time again. Of course, I was smart enough to take it all with a grain of salt, but that doesn’t mean it had affected me negatively as I got older. Obviously, those girls I went to school with back then are the same age as I am now, but their mentality had changed very little since then. It became very obvious that women/girls had received a more than necessary amount of empowerment that got to their heads, inflating their egos to the point that door frames should be made 3 feet taller and wider to accommodate their bigheadedness. After all, they’re girls, and they deserve it right?

    It has lead me to the train of thought I’ve been on for the last 5 years or so that has me believing that there’s no point in pursuing a relationship, as the only plus side would be the occasional sex that will inevitably dwindle and vanish once she gets tired of the nice guy routine, leaving me emotionally and psychologically unfulfilled because the feminism movement has taught them to believe that I, as a man, should be the provider, the crying shoulder and the ever sympathetic ear to her problems, and that whatever I have to say regarding my own thoughts and emotions do not matter… because I am a male.

    To the author of this article; I thank you for saying what we guys have been thinking/saying for a long-assed time, but had been ignored solely because of our gender. Perhaps your words will garner some… any consideration where our words have only fallen on deaf ears, have been responded to with laughter or straight up disbelief.

  • justsayinathing

    So when i first read this, it really hit home and resonated, and i was initially compelled to congratulate this amazing woman on her clarity of perception, as well as her honesty. I feel as though something i’ve seen most of my life, has finally been effectively verbalized.

    But then i took a break and sort of passively pondered it for a while… and that initial excitement has faded… leaving an aching, depressive void.

    She’s right on.

    To over-simplify and summarize: feminists have ruined the world! At least, my particular experience of it. Sure, i’m just one of billions of apparently irrelevant males… but i am a +1 for the count of men whose lives were severely diminished by, essentially, people playing games.

    There is much i feel inclined to say on this particular topic, but it’s completely useless. The damage is already done, and no amount of words can repair lost time. Besides, i don’t seem to have much energy for dealing with the world’s completely arbitrary problems, these days. Life lacks luster, meaning, value, without the chance to experience mutually cherished companionship.

  • Kenneth

    Statistically, this son is more likely to drop out of college and work meaningless sales jobs his entire life, whilst playing video games and getting baked with his friends. I’m a white male who teaches in higher ed and I can attest to the fact that it isn’t men who have their stuff together – it’s women. 65% of my classes are female, and it’s predicted that by 2017, this number will be 67% across the board. Bros before hoes and what not, but our society is facing an impending social disaster related to men who refuse to assume traditional roles of father and spouse. Can’t argue with some of the points made here about women, but you could just have easily written this from the daughter’s perspective.

    • Suzanne McCarley


      “Statistically, this son is more likely to drop out of college and work meaningless sales jobs his entire life, whilst playing video games and getting baked with his friends.”


      I am astounded by your ability to state one of the primary points of this article, while missing it entirely. You didn’t have to tell us you’re in higher education; it’s obvious. Your assumption that the problem lies with males themselves

      “Bros before hoes and what not, but our society is facing an impending social disaster related to men who refuse to assume traditional roles of father and spouse.”

      is quite telling. You are so immersed in the female=blameless/male=blameworthy mentality, you can’t even see the sickening irony in your own words.

      These young men have been raised from infancy to believe, either consciously or subconsciously, that their masculinity is a defect which needs to be corrected. They have few or no “whole” well-rounded masculine role models from whom they can learn to be men. (They have pussy-whipped manginas like you as role models.) Instead they face a growing mountain of obligations (“traditional roles”) which to them appear entirely arbitrary and capricious. Those obligations have become abstract concepts because they now exist in a vacuum instead of as a reasonable part of a social contract – the social contract destroyed by feminism.

      Feminism has absolved girls and women of as much obligation as it possibly can, while at the same time demanding MORE obligation of boys and men. And you sit there shaking your head in judgement of males who won’t or can’t Man Up and carry that burden?

      Fuck you and the unicorn you rode in on.

    • theoutside

      “…our society is facing an impending social disaster related to men who refuse to assume traditional roles of father and spouse.”

      I will reprint here what I wrote elsewhere regarding the Facebook issue. This is re: “the impending social disaster”, its actual causes, and the role of feminism in it.

      In August of 1971 Nixon also took the US out of the post-war Bretton Woods system, the international system of gold-based exchange rates, that had stabilized international finance and supported the value of the US dollar. He was pressured/manipulated into doing this by a cabal of international bankers based in the City of London and in the US Federal Reserve. This was a direct attack on the economic life of the US insofar as that was based in real production (of a physical, technological nature — energy, high technology, manufactures, and also food; i.e. real things with real value). In its place came an economic set-up based in monetarist speculation and increasingly fictitious forms of wealth, i.e. money with very little behind it, increasingly empty paper. This was in its turn an attack on the sovereignty of nation states throughout the world by an international monetarist banking system with the idea of weakening those states, and indeed the very idea of the sovereign nation state itself. A good explanation of this process can be found in Webster Griffin Tarpley’s book Surviving the Cataclysm (Progressive Press, 2011), pg.325-521. The system of increasingly intrusive “charities,” “foundations,” and non-governmental organizations (NGOs) which had been in existence for a while, but which got a large push forward at that same time, can be seen as the social destabilization/control arm of that same international monetarist banking system, which has had as its main goal, historically, the limiting of human progress and the corruption, dumbing down, and eventual immiseration of human societies throughout the world. The currently dominant ideology of “feminism” is just one of their ways of corrupting and disabling societies from within (under the guise of protecting the rights of a supposedly “oppressed” “minority”); another even more sinister approach is “environmentalism” — which works directly against physical/technological development under the guise of protecting “endangered species” etc. and which has as its ultimate goal depopulation (in accordance with the Club of Rome and other international “think tanks” which proclaim a need to reduce the population to 1 billion.) Feminism is part of this overall scam. In other words, it is necessary to understand its broader political agenda and that this agenda extends all the way to an attack on physical productivity itself (i.e., producing food, clothing, shelter, medical care, energy, etc.) and the social orders that would be based on that (relatively free, increasingly affluent social orders). That is why it coincides historically with the concerted effort to overthrow that kind of highly productive economy (which had been established in the US under the New Deal of FDR and reached a culmination in the Kennedy administration) in favor of one based in derivatives speculation and other forms of parasitic activity, the so-called “post-industrial” economy. The very idea of a post-industrial economy — an oxymoron and an absurdity — was invented in the early sixties by academic ideologues connected with this same international banking, NGO system (along with a refurbishing of the old idea of over-population — the so-called population bomb idea of Ehrlich et al.) Thus, academic elites have always been involved in these social/political mystification efforts, quite often on the side of evil, unfortunately. (This goes further toward explaining their current love of “feminism” and the application of it in the most inhuman ways possible — e.g. the Duke Lacrosse scandal, as one especially grotesque recent example; see K.C. Johnson’s Durham in Wonderland website for details). Unfortunately this corruption extends to the intelligence system the US as well — the CIA. Facebook is a known CIA asset of some kind. They use it to gather information, profiling etc. That is why the various suits regarding privacy etc. have gone nowhere. After looking at the material on the WAM site, I suspect that at least some of this stuff was authored by the CIA or by feminist organizations themselves, in order to then blame it on “misogynist” men, who are presumably swarming on the internet. In other words, it is a classic “false flag” operation — they do something, then blame it on someone else, for the purpose of enacting laws later on.
      Sorry to go on at such length, but I think it is important to understand the broader context and that it involves an attack on physical economic production. The ultimate result of American feminism will be, and was always intended to be, a drastic breakdown of physical infrastructure, and thus increasingly severe shortages of food, water, energy, housing, and medical care; in addition to increasingly curtailed rights of free speech, etc., and a gradually diminishing, and increasingly dumbed-down, population.”

      This is the actual situation.

  • Kyle

    To be honest I have no interest in a relationship with anyone, and i’m considering completely cutting out sex (the women I sleep with have boyfriends, so it’s slowly chipping away at me guilt-wise. But the only other option is to find someone single and be cheated on……). It’s so heartbreaking to see what the world is like, and you can’t trust any women out there. No matter how well you know them, or how long you’ve known them….

    What is the point in living when people are so heartless and uncaring nowadays? We have to live in solitude just not to be used or to use others…. It’s a terrible state our generation is in, and I have no respect for elders because of it.

    • OneHundredPercentCotton

      There have ALWAYS been MGTOWs, Kyle. It’s not “nowdays”.

  • vida

    I’m so sorry for you your wrong judgment. you have very short history memory. you have to go and review history and see what men have done with women during history. your son who traveled whole world before 20s have you asked him haw many women he slept with. the girls who slept with him for money because they need it or they may thinks he is their love. they didn’t know he just want have sex. if you want any changes you have to start with yourself and your son and teach him how he suppose to respect people and their feeling no matter what’s their gender and what’s their pattern of life. and stop hating people and judging them without having enough information.

    • Aimee McGee

      Your histories are probably written by authors indoctrinated by post-modernist revisionism. Humans have treated each other like shit and gender was not the driver of this.

    • dradak1

      do you think that making man sex-slaves this days will change the history or you like that we go back in history in matriarchal times or just until suits you?

      • Suzanne McCarley

        Oops, that was supposed to be an upvote!

    • AlexB

      You forgot the women who slept with him for money because it’s easier than actually working(You think having sex for money is bad for women?It’s still better than starving to death or go begging on the streets because that’s what’s likely to happen to men without money – oh, wait those men don’t fit the accepted standard for men, so they’re not really men and neither are they women, just invisible people).And the women who slept with him just for sex.

      What men have done with women historically?Like giving them unearned privileges?

  • hophop

    There’s no way a woman wrote this. The perspective sounds like that of a middle aged guy who’s still bitter about a divorce.

    To the author, you need to be more constructive in solving the problems you’re facing in life. Bitterness towards an entire gender is going to just make life harder on you. Also, you seem to lament female independence because you dream of a “simpler time” when you could’ve controlled your ex-wife and forced her into giving you the marriage you wanted where you called all the shots. No woman in that situation is going to be happy. Don’t you want a woman who actually enjoys being with you?

    My suggestion is to get some therapy and to learn more constructive ways to feel better and get back into the dating game. Lashing out at women won’t help you.

    • Dean Esmay

      Oh, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I can assure you that Suzanne McCarley, who is indeed a woman and even a mom, wrote every word of this, and she is probably not going to take kindly to your insinuation to the contrary. Nor will she think much of your aggressively ignorant bigotry toward men–my God you’re an incredible sexist.

      Welcome to a world where your misandry is called out for the bigoted stupidity it is.

      • Kimski

        Oh, my…
        Some days I just really, really love being an MHRA.
        ‘Nuff said.. 😀

    • Bombay

      “Also, you seem to lament female independence because you dream of a “simpler time” when you could’ve controlled your ex-wife and forced her into giving you the marriage you wanted where you called all the shots. ”

      The more Robert St. Estephe reveals history, I do not think that time existed.

      • Kimski

        No, it is becoming increasingly clear that you only tried that, if you had a deathwish.

        • Bombay

          And to be killed/executed in court no less! How many men have killed their wives in the courts and were free in less than two months?

    • Robert St. Estephe

      hophop: I recommend you begin to read widely from different perspectives, factual stuff, like history (books of the least ideological variety possible), and to throw out your TV set. It is indeed possible with adequate effort to develop critical thinking by self-education. Do the TV thing tonight, though.

    • OneHundredPercentCotton


      And she speaks for so many of us Mothers who not only stand by helplessly watching our sons getting screwed over, but “feminism” hurts US too when it comes to our Grandchildren.

      What woman in this world actually LIKES seeing her son getting screwed over by chits like you?

      • Dean Esmay

        Next she’ll tell us you’re not a woman either, Cotton. HAHAHAHAHA!!

        • Suzanne McCarley

          Wait. Cotton is a woman???

    • Suzanne McCarley

      Oh you poor thing! Did I reach a bit beyond the edges of your imagination? Sorry. (no i’m not.)

      A man? Not last time I checked.
      Divorced? Nope, never. You?
      Bitter? Ummm, No.
      Middle aged? Naaailed it! Good call! You want a cookie?

      Is it so utterly incomprehensible to you that a woman would love her son enough to speak out on his behalf, at the risk of being rejected (particularly by other women?)

      If you can’t imagine a woman who values any man (let alone her own flesh and blood) to that degree, perhaps it is YOU, not me, who despises the “fairer sex.” You must have a very low opinion of women, to assume that that it is in our very nature to be willing to sacrifice our own children to accommodate the desires (not needs) of an entire class of largely undeserving strangers?

    • Jennifer

      Projection much? Wow.
      There is no gender hate here. Women that have bought into the feminist lie have brought this on themselves. They will find themselves used and discarded.

  • Daniel Kulkarni

    This is one of the best pieces on AVfM.

  • PeterPan

    wow this is so accurate reflection of today’s trend….