Why Engagement Rings Are a Scam

Of course most AVfM readers will know that we think marriage in the current climate is a terrible deal for most men in general, but everything in this video is true based on what we’ve read, and it helps demonstrate just how much we’ve been bamboozled by multiple parts of the culture into stupid ideas of what love is:

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  • comslave

    Diamonds can also burn. They’re still just carbon. So you can literally burn your money.

    And there are whole wars being fought in Africa over these things. So the new slogan should be: “Diamonds are forever…killing people in Africa”.

    To me it’s always been a very ugly idea to have rocks be worth that much.

    • https://www.youtube.com/user/ImagoCanis Drawing Butts

      I’m surprised the video hasn’t been flagged by gold diggers yet…

  • donzaloog

    So true. I place no value on any kind of jewelry. Useless shit.

    • whiic

      Diamonds aren’t useless. Far from it. They have many uses, in drilling, grinding, cutting, polishing hard materials. Or cutting softer materials with more precision (i.e stuff like surgical scalpels). The uses are countless and you could even say unrivaled.

      But usefulness has really nothing to do with the price of a diamond. After all, no matter how many useful characteristics there are, none of them are actually used in a diamond ring. Except the high light refraction. But you can’t really call that much usefulness even if it glitters a bit more than crystalline glass.

      It’s value is rarity. Not the characteristics. If you were to put a synthetic diamond on a ring, even if it was twice the size of what you could afford as a “real” diamond, you’d probably be a woman-hater who doesn’t value even his loved one enough to put more money in the burned for… well, for nothing at all.

      If you really wanted “your” woman to look pretty, there’s countless of more cost-effective ways to improve her appearance than to buy a few grand worth of natural diamond (a cubic millimeter worth of it). Like, buy a nice dress or something. Be a Patriarchal Oppressor (later: PO) and make her wear a skirt once in a while – or if not actually “make her” then at least give stuff that would be worthless if they weren’t used voluntarily. That’s how clever POs objectify(TM) the Officially Victimized Gender Demographic.

      Ironically no other politically correct victim demographic was actually bribed to receive the recognition as oppressed groups… usually victim groups were enslaved, tortured and murdered, rather than bribed. OK, the supposed “oppression of Christians” (especially in USA, rather than say Africa or Arab countries), is pretty analogous joke kind of “oppression”.

      • Jared Spencer

        Agreed on the opinion of value. My wife is incredibly fond of how diamonds catch the light passing through them but likes many other, less expensive stones nearly as much.

        Many women prefer rubies or silver or wood, even. Value on diamonds outside of the industrial setting is an individual thing (though admittedly that can be subject to external influence). There are lots of people who would just LOVE a gift of a new dress, as you said, or of time, attention or even a video game and would be less interested in just another glittery thing lying about.

        • cuatezon

          Jared, was the pun intended on women preferring “wood”? lol

      • Cam

        Donzaloog did not say diamonds were useless he said jewelry was.

        There is a big difference between industrial diamonds which have myriad commercial/industrial uses and those stones and other jewelry items whose purpose and use is nothing more than expensive adornment.

        If you think the diamond ring you paid $5000 for is worth that then take it to a jeweler and see how little you will get for it if you try and sell it.

        Expensive diamond engagement rings are a scam but the guys that often paid thousands of dollars for these items for some lady will never concede that. They have been scammed after all.

        I stumbled upon an article online on engagment rings some months back and the comments from all the woman were interesting. The expectations of most of them were high and guys that had sensibly purchased less expensive items were castigated and criticised by most. Lots of princesses with their hands out again but that would not surprise many people here. What surprised me was the huge amounts of money some of these woman had these guys spend on them for essentially a useless ring. Just what you should not be wasting money on when you are young and starting out in life. One woman conceded that the ring she had been given cost too much to wear every day so she locked it away most of the time and wore a cheap one instead. There were a rare few woman who did not think it was appropriate to spend on an expensive ring. Wish I could find this article and all the female commentary to quote because the comments from most of the woman would make the people here pretty agitated.

        • whiic

          >“Donzaloog did not say diamonds were useless he said jewelry was.”

          I noticed that before hitting “POST COMMENT”… but a bit too late as I had wrote the message already. I was too lazy to rewrite the post to fit as a stand-alone comment in the comment section root, and didn’t feel like erasing it because it made some subject-related notes (even if they weren’t related to Donzaloog’s comment) that I wanted to bring up.

          So basically it was highly an “off the tangent” type of “reply”.

          • donzaloog

            It’s cool. I enjoyed your reply. I knew about the other uses for diamonds.

  • Kimski

    While taking a quick top ten look at the world’s most expensive pussyes, I wonder how many of them felt obligated to return the ring, when the engagement didn’t last?

    • sybil

      That was gross. I hate conspicuous consumption of all kinds, but the wedding industry may be the ugliest and most nauseating. (I’ve been married 20 years, no engagement ring.)

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/DannyboyCdnMRA Dan Perrins

      Contract law 101
      offer – marry me as the ring is offered.
      acceptance – she says yes.
      Legality, yes marriage is legal.
      performance – they get married.

      If the contract is not fulfilled the parties return to their original state, ie he gets the ring back. Now if someone reading this is in a situation where the marriage never happened. The wronged party can seek a court order for its return in theory. And civil law is fairly easy especially if the value of the ring is under 25k in Canada. It would fall under small claims court simplified rules of procedure.

      • feeriker

        If the contract is not fulfilled the parties return to their original state, ie he gets the ring back. 

        And even after the marriage takes place, if one party (read: the wife) unilaterally breaches the contract, then the other party (read: the husband) should get the ring back in this case as well.

    • chewbakka

      Yes I got fucked, shortly before I broke up the engagement and took back the ring. Of course at the time I didn’t know that the court would have considered it a gift and therefore legally hers. However I did find out that no matter where I tried to sell it, its value was about a third of what I’d paid for it and ironically the best place to sell it was Ebay.

      I think what we need is not just to recognise the brilliance and truth of the video above but a substitute for a diamond ring. My X-Fiance literally drooled over it, so changing focus onto something else that doesn’t cost an absolute fortune is likely a better strategy for “Making someone feel special” – Of course My preferred suggestion is that any future engagements should be hallmarked with her buying me a Triumph 800 XC Motorcycle….its sooooo romantic.

      anyone second?……

      • Bombay

        Yes, all the things the wife has are gifts, then the rest is split. Amazing how that works.

    • Turbo

      The more expensive they are the more gawdy and ugly they look.

  • Jared Spencer

    One of the first diamond engagement rings was commissioned in 1477 by an Austrian Archduke [1]. “Engagement”, promise, betrothal and nuptial rings have been in use for centuries [2]. Diamonds WERE incredibly rare until the late 1800’s. The fact that they are in every single store pushing jewelry today is evidence enough that they are not to incredibly uncommon. Rare in comparison to most other commodities? Yep. One-of-a-kind Nebulous OObo-diamonds from dimension X? Nope.

    If someone finds the (relatively) newer trend of specifically diamond engagement rings repugnant……then DO SOMETHING ELSE- or give your beau nothing…or a cat…whatever works for the two of you within the established framework of the relationship.

    I find no use for outrage about legal goods that someone else chooses to purchase. If you don’t believe in betrothal jewelry and the person you are seeking to marry won’t agree without it then perhaps one should stop and contemplate the whole affair over again.

    1. https://www.princeton.edu/~achaney/tmve/wiki100k/docs/Engagement_ring.html
    2. Patrick, Bethanne Kelly; Thompson, John Milliken (2009). An Uncommon History of Common Things. National Geographic Books. p. 81. ISBN 978-1-4262-0420-3. Retrieved 6 November 2013.

  • nick

    I spent $29.95 on my wife’s engagement ring. When I want to feel fancy I tell people $39.95.

    • Jared Spencer

      And I am sure your wife valued that ring far and away above something with a higher insurance value. My wife was adamant that an excessively expensive or gaudy ring would be deplorable. We shopped for the thing together (good move there, as I was terrible about picking out such things) and got something that would integrate nicely with the wedding band.

      She provided me with two wedding bands. One in gold for dress and she made the other from a stainless steel bolt head for daily wear. I treasure the bolt head.

      • Aimee McGee

        The only ring I wear is a 100 year old platinum wedding band. Even if I was to marry again I would probably not have a wedding ring – too many social constructs in that piece of jewellery

        • Jared Spencer

          A lot of folks agree with you, Aimee.

          The thing is exactly what we all, as individuals make of it. Many in my profession do not wear their wedding bands (easy way to lose a finger) and some don’t have one. I take mine off when I go on duty and put it on when I secure.

          A wedding band really has no value beyond the the materials of its construction and – more importantly the sentimental value one holds for it. The latter should be more important than the former, IMHO.

  • The Real Peterman

    That was awesome!

  • Duke

    Why are most men more sensitive to the irrelevance of “conspicuous consumption” than most women are???

    • johncullison

      I’m pretty sure the entitlement that the Matriarchy (patent pending) has instilled in her psyche helps convince her that her own feelings of grandiose self worth merit the expenditure of thousands of dollars on an otherwise worthless trinket as proof of her inherent value. “Look at how much money my man just wasted on me!”

      If you really loved him and valued your future together, you wouldn’t demand that so much potential be wasted on a rock.

    • http://aaronsleazy.com/cms/ Jalon Cain (aka Aaron Sleazy)


      who is more sensitive to it — the person who is supposed to spent a few grand, or the one who expects the other person to spend that amount of money?

  • Andy Bob

    Have you ever heard women comparing or discussing engagement rings? They’re talking trophies. They couldn’t care less about the intrinsic value of diamond rings, or even the design and craftsmanship that went into creating them. Their focus, sometimes shockingly explicit, can be summed up as who scored, and who didn’t. The gaudier the trinkets, the higher one’s status within the herd. Some women are content to graze somwhere in the middle of the herd, but consignment to the fringe is another matter entirely. This fear of outlier shame is the reason why most women visibly shudder at the mere mention of cubic zirconias.

    • Jared Spencer

      That is an interesting point. One with broad merit, as well.

      My brother in law had approached my wife about how best to go about proposing to his (now ex) girlfriend and showed her the ring he had purchased. Cubic Zirconia. He isn’t a wealthy man and it was a lovely looking ring, within his budget.

      My wife, being acquainted with this woman, sat him down and explained exactly what was going to happen if he presented her with this ring and why he shouldn’t be trying to marry her in the first place. He disregarded that counsel and went heart before head…full steam ahead. Yup. Boom. No eyebrows left and your moustache is all fucked up kind of boom. Big deal – huge fight, apparently.

      Like I said…Hi EX-girlfriend.

      • sybil

        How would she know it’s a cubic ziconia? Aren’t they indistinguishable from natural diamonds? Obviously I’m clueless about this whole thing.

        • Andy Bob

          She tried to scratch her heart with it when he wasn’t looking – she knew.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/DannyboyCdnMRA Dan Perrins

      Your absolutely right about the craftsmanship involved in jewelry making. I appreciate craftsmanship, and art involved in jewelry.
      I went to see the Maharajahs’ treasures at the Ontario Art Gallery a couple of years ago. Incredible opulence. Incredible works of art craftsmanship.
      Of interest while the engagement ring is a new thing, the gifts given to the wife(ves) of the Maharajahs’ had items of incredible ‘wealth’ procured for them, undoubtedly on the backs of the men working in the mines uncovering said ‘valuables.’
      It seems Oscar Wilde’s words were timeless, applicable both in past and future when he said
      “People know the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

  • https://www.youtube.com/user/ImagoCanis Drawing Butts

    Now I’m reading up on diamonds, and I’m just… I’m gonna be sick.

    • Andy Bob

      If that leaves you nauseous, consider the recent phenomenon known as ‘upgrading’. Husbands are now expected to trade in starter rings for more expensive tokens of their appreciation. It is a form of gratuitous gratuity to reward wives for having electing to stick around for a bit longer.

      Women who demand upgrades point to the fact that all of their friends have had at least one of them. For such women, it’s all about keeping up with the herd. They provide a stark contrast to those women who have more meaningful priorities and genuinely don’t care about such things. I’ll hazard a guess that our Honey Badgers are women like this.

      • Jared Spencer

        The NEX has a diamond trade-up program where you bring the folder received along with a diamond jewelry purchase and they will apply 100% of the price paid towards another piece so long as its price is 50% greater than the original piece’s cost.

        I was actually the one who broached the Idea of upping the engagement or wedding band as a birthday gift and got a very stern stiff arm about it. Rightly so, too. I hadn’t thought about it at the moment but received a very good reminder that the sentimental value far far outweighs the physical form.

        However, I have taken advantage of that program a few times over the years on her other diamond pieces. It actually works very well regarding birthdays, anniversaries and the such. We upgrade her favorites, the stuff she wears all the time. Her normal is two studs in each ear and a solitaire pendant and she wears these nearly constantly, unless she is feeling like something different or matching a dress, etc. Upgrading allows nicer pieces without uselessly purchasing excess items that will sit in a box until the kids settled our estate.

        • Andy Bob

          @Jared Spencer

          The sentimental value your wife has for her engagement ring says much about her priorities – and your wisdom in choosing her. Your happiness in your relationship often comes through in your comments, Mr Spencer. Best wishes to you both.

          Our culture encourages, supports and enables women to think and behave with an outrageous sense of entitlement. It makes me all the more impressed by the character of those women who are impervious to it. Men who doubt that such women exist need to look no further than AVfM for examples of admirable women with wisdom and fortitude.

          Women like Suzanne McCarley, whose dedication and commitment to the rights and welfare of men and boys never wavered, even when confronted with her still very recent personal tragedy and loss, are treasures. So is the courageous and inspiring Erin Pizzey, who overcame health issues to become more influential, effective and relevant than ever before.

          Compare these women to the kind whose aspirations revolve around being presented with big shiny rocks. There’s an enormous difference between appreciating the beauty of gems and using them to measure the worthiness of those you claim to love. It is shocking that there are so many women who need to have this pointed out.

          Thankfully there are still many, like Mrs Spencer and our Honey Badgers, who don’t.

          • Jared Spencer

            That is all true enough, Andy. Women of strong moral and intellectual virtues should be treasured – and are, by anyone with the ability to recognize their worth. I try (harder than I intend to, sometimes) to put the idea into the air that they are a good deal more common than many views around here would allow for.

            I have certainly seen my fill of women walking around with ridiculous rocks stuck to them and have seen said females sitting and comparing them exactly, as stated a ways above, as trophies.

            Because of a sense of entitlement? Lots of them, probably. I think a great deal of it is also derived from some belief they hold which equates the rocks they wear with other criteria they hold to select a suitable mate. “Big chest, rugged chin, good job, willing to soak me in diamonds..etc.” I’d be the last one to ask what, exactly is going on in those little noggins.

      • https://www.youtube.com/user/ImagoCanis Drawing Butts

        I totally forgot about that, and for good reason. I just… I can’t wrap my head around the level of entitlement, overly inflated sense of self-worth, and just plain narcissism one must possess to behave as these women do. What gaudy, bovine, post-operative golden vag- No, no… I must reign in my rage…

      • cuatezon

        Women who demand upgraded rings should be categorized as ‘Starter Wives’ and promptly given the boot. Next!

  • roeboat72

    I always thought the idea that spending lots of money on a Diamond meant you had lots of love was a hilarious concept. This idea is completely illogical. It is entirely possible to spend lots of money on a diamond ring for someone you have no feelings for whatsoever, as well as the vice verse of spending little money but having significant feelings for that person.

    I remember an ex that complained that her soon to be ex husband had spent 300 bucks on his ring but 50 on hers. It was no wonder why they ended up divorced, they were both daft lol.

  • markis1

    avoid all of this.and much,much more.MGTOW

  • cuatezon

    Diamonds are a woman’s best friend. Zirconium is a man’s best friend.

  • cuatezon

    Too bad they don’t make kryptonite rings

    • feeriker

      Diamond rings with plutonium bands would be ideal.

  • http://menaregood.com Tom Golden

    Great video! Well done and well said.

    What the feminists won’t tell you is that jewelry was gifted from husband to wife as a means to insure the wif’e’s safety/retirement if and when the husband died. She may not have been able to inherit property but she sure as hell kept her jewelry and this was often used as a means to have her “inherit” property and be self-sufficient in case the husband died.

    • seiya

      “She may not have been able to inherit property but she sure as hell kept her jewelry ”

      Care to elaborate on when and how?

      • http://menaregood.com Tom Golden

        I think if you look at what women could inherit during the 19th century you will find that men were actually passing on valuable goods to women even though coverture claimed that women could not inherit property. The use of jewelry as a means to help women “inherit” was often employed as was the gift of furniture, and household items. The feminist perseveration on coverture and a woman’s inability to inherit seems geared to imply that men didn’t care and wanted everything for themselves. The fact that men would find alternate means to insure their wife’s future tells a different story.

        • seiya

          Thank you for this clarification. I tend to forget where do the laws come from.

          • http://menaregood.com Tom Golden

            Sure! More questions=more understanding. It’s all good.