man going his own way walking away in sand footprints 750

A MGTOW journey. Classification: Declassified

This is a short essay on my opinions regarding rape and gender equality. I have written this only as I am tired of being criticized by ladies for my lifestyle choice (celibacy) and of having people (i.e. the same ladies) accuse me of sexism anytime I respond to their questions regarding my opinions on equality. What follows is simply my account as to why I have come to the conclusions that I have drawn contrary to all I have been told to believe at school and university. Perhaps by making this public it may challenge the opinions of others—please realize I do not seek to change anyone’s minds. I am simply trying to outline the reasons why I think the things I do. If anyone can provide a counter-argument which can disprove that which follows I would be very appreciative if a reply or comment can be left as I would desperately like to believe something else about the world.

I genuinely believe that there are no women’s issues. Women’s studies courses should be abolished. There should not be a ministerial position for women’s issues. There should not be women’s advocates on campus. Laws relating to sexual violence need to be rewritten so that they are not framed in gender terminology.

The reason for this is two-fold. Put simply, any issue that can affect a person can affect another person. Men experience rape, domestic violence, discrimination at work, and sexual objectification. There is no issue that is only applicable to either men or women. Dividing the political landscape into gendered issues in this way simultaneously does two things: one, it refuses to acknowledge that men can and do experience the same things as women and two, it demeans these issues by relegating them to the status of “women issues” i.e. of less importance than “male issues” like economics and war. In short, my experiences have led me to believe that equal rights can only be achieved by granting equal responsibilities, not by giving any group of people a hand up or by setting targets for ensuring that X number of Y group will be represented in Z body.

Positive discrimination is an oxymoron. It would not be out-of-place in George Orwell’s 1984. The idea that any group of people should have access to careers, or anything else for that matter, for which they are not qualified actively sabotages any attempt at achieving genuine equality. Ultimately, you do not end discrimination by simply discriminating against a different group of people.

I reached these and several other conclusions on the subject of gender based-ideology though my experiences as outlined below. Please do not think that I share this lightly, or that I am seeking sympathy or that I am trying to justify my own bitterness. I share this in order to illustrate the consequences of the gendered approach to gaining equality which have, in my opinion, been counterproductive at best.

At the age of 23 I was raped. I was approached by a man in a nightclub, who spiked my drink before he followed me into the toilet and violently raped me. The following day I reported the incident to the police. The specialist officers informed me that because I am male I could not be a victim of rape and that I am, by definition, a rapist. They stated that whilst they could not stop me from reporting the offense that they would prosecute me for wasting police time should I follow that course of action. The reason they gave me was that as a man, legally, I could not be raped because I am not in possession of a vagina.

At this time I was in a relationship with a woman who primarily identified herself through her sexuality. She felt that the most appropriate way for me to get over my new-found fears and feelings of disgust around sex was to have more sex with me. In fairness, most of the those encounters were consensual, in that whilst I may not have wanted sex at that time, I was prepared to trade it in exchange for intimacy. I was however, experiencing a whole bunch of psychological problems relating to the rape, specifically heightened anxiety, panic attacks, flashbacks, suicidal feelings, etc. This particular young lady was, on the last time I was intimate with her, very insistent that we have sex, despite my protestations. This was an occasion wherein I was experiencing flashbacks primarily triggered by her touching me without my consent. As she climbed on top of me I begged her to stop as all I could see in my mind’s eye was the man who had raped me 3 weeks previously. Her response was to continue with renewed enthusiasm.

She noticed that I was crying and still pleading with her to stop so she hit me several times in the face and carried on until she reached that point of ultimate pleasure. Afterwards, she was very angry that I did not want to have sex with her and voiced this opinion with some gusto. Following this, in the immortal words of Iron Maiden, I ran to the hills and elected to remain celibate for over 5 years.

Eventually I healed and ended up in relationships with women again, some positive, some less so. At the age of 33, I dated a lady who worked for the police. Once again it appears that I am a terrible judge of character as she was quite selfish and had a tendency to overreact over nothing. Long story short, she wanted to have sex and I said no so she pushed me onto the bed, hiked her skirt up and did anyway. No longer being in such a bad place I picked her up off from me and said I wasn’t interested at that time. Her response was to say “that is unacceptable to me” and she got on top of me again. Again I said no and picked her up off me, to which she replied that she didn’t care and once again pushed me back onto the bed and started again. I picked her up again, and explained that if I was to act like that towards her I would be looking at a long prison sentence and rightly so. She replied “man up” and for a fourth time did the same thing. At this point I picked her up off of me for the last time and told her that she could not treat me or anyone else in that manner and I left.

This was only a few months ago and it has massively affected the way that I view women. I have become celibate once again and find it very difficult to trust anyone who shows any interest in me. While I feel that I am able to stop such a situation from ever occurring again it will always be by subjecting myself to the risk of violence, false accusations, or other repercussions. The easiest way for me to look after myself at this point is to not associate with anyone who wants to have sex with me.

Following the first incident I went to the police who informed me that no crime had occurred due to my gender. I stated that I wanted to make a statement regardless as I felt that there was a rapist targeting men (and women) in the community whom I could identify and would bear witness against. The police informed me that if I chose to do this that they would prosecute me for wasting police time.

I sought out support from rape crisis who informed me that I cannot be a victim of this crime, only a perpetrator. I was informed that I cannot visit any rape crisis center because my presence would be too upsetting for “genuine” (i.e. female) victims. At this time, I was studying for a degree in sociology and part of my course was on feminism. Over the course of the next 3 months I attended lectures and seminars wherein I was informed that all men (me included) use rape to keep all women in a state of continual fear. I was taught that all men are potential rapists simply waiting for their opportunity. I had to read treatises by Mary Koss and Andrea Dworkin; I had it stated to me that, as rape is a crime of power, any man who is subjected to this crime should be automatically incarcerated for life–the logic being that any man who has had his “power” removed by the act of forced sex will immediately seek to “regain” this loss of power by simply raping as many women as possible, therefore, in order to protect women we should imprison male victims before they have the opportunity to further victimize women.

I’m not convinced that there is a rape culture in the way that it is portrayed by feminists. But I do think that there is a hidden rape culture that operates against men. As it is not a serious crime for a man to be raped—it is classified as the less serious “sexual assault,” but then only when a man is raped by a man. When a man is raped by a woman it is not a crime in most cases. We refuse to offer support to male victims, we blame men for being victims of rape, and we hold them accountable as a group and as individuals for the actions of a criminal minority, and feminists call for our incarceration not only without due process but without our having committed any crime ourselves.

We understand that we are worthless. We know that we are utilities; wallets and vibrators to be used by any woman who decides to at any time. We know that we can be physically assaulted by both men and women alike and that society, the police and the courts tolerate this. We know that any woman can raise a false allegation against us that legally has to be believed and treated seriously, whereas we cannot even report a crime without leaving ourselves at risk of prosecution.

We make rape jokes to trivialize our own experiences—humor exists in all places to ridicule trauma, to make light of the horrendous and to comfort the distressed. Feminists have taken this as proof that there is a rape culture at work against women, that we who make these jokes are part of a global patriarchal conspiracy to keep women down. The truth is that we laugh because we are tired of crying, and crying hasn’t helped us.

We are criticized for trying to laugh off the fact that we are not protected by the law, that we have no access to help or support or victim services following that which feminists have decreed to be the worst crime against the person that a human being can be subjected to. We are blamed for the existence of a crime that we are the victims of. We are bombarded with posters and internet campaigns telling us to not be that guy. We are discriminated against in court by the gradual erosion of our right to due process. We are told that we’re not real men because of our weakness—that weakness being to abhor violence and to be unwilling to put ourselves at further risk by defending ourselves for fear of very real legal and social reprisals.

I have learnt from my experiences. I have absorbed and digested information and I have come to my own conclusions. That is to say the following: rape is not important. It is the act of a minority of self-centered, monstrous individuals who have all the moral agency of a parasitic wasp. And we know that wasp stings are painful but not permanent. The only permanent issue is if you happen to be a wasp. Because that pain (i.e. self- loathing, worthlessness, moral weakness) is a part of you. The reason you feel the need sting others is because you are too emotionally stunted to possess a single iota of empathy, respect, compassion or any other value that separates humans from the baser life forms.

Rape is not important to me because by imbuing it with importance I allow it to continue to affect my life, and that is something that I cannot do. Rape is a gift. It is something that has been given to me by several individuals, all of whom forced sex on my unwilling person due to their own insecurities regarding their desirability, attractiveness and self-worth. And it is a gift of self-loathing. Sometime ago it occurred to me that rape is a shameful act. But it is not my shame. I have never forced myself on anyone, nor have I ever had the desire to do so.

I forgive my abusers. Those feelings which I have suffered for 10 years, are a gift from the few criminals who have successfully violated me. I forgo their gifts as these are not my issues to deal with—these issues are theirs. I forgo them and give them back. Let the parasites deal with their own behavior, it is not a reflection on me.

By the same token, I refuse and reject the society that tells me that rape of men is acceptable. I reject the opinions of the lunatics who have steered the discourse on rape exclusively towards a gendered view of the world rather than treat it for what it is—a criminal act. I reject the ideas of Dworkin and Firestone and Koss, all of whom have publicly stated that men who are raped somehow deserve it. I reject gendered interpretations of the law by the police, by the courts, by individual solicitors and professors at university.

I reject the notion that discrimination can ever be positive. But equally, I forgive you all. I reject your stupid double standards and I give you them back to you. I remove myself from your world entirely and live by my rules, under my direction, taking responsibility only for myself. I reject your ideas on relationships, parenthood, governance and employment rights. I refuse to engage with a society that blames me for the crimes committed against me. This is what forgiveness is. In short, I forgo your world and the consequences of your ideas, your attitudes, your crimes and I gladly return it all to you.

And I hope you choke on it.

About Mark Charles (Mr. C)

Mark Charles, also known online as "Mr. C," is a 34-year-old male and twice-over a victim of Rape. He joins the growing MGTOW movement as much out of concern for his own safety as frustration in his dealings with entitled women. He claims no one to date has been able to refute his arguments for the wisdom of this choice, and he shares his story with us because men need to get better about telling their stories.

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  • CanuckDuck

    Mr. C. is the canary in the coal mine. My personal feeling is that things will be getting a lot worse for men, before things even begin to improve. But then will we remember how to be men?

    • Nephandus

      Only indoctrination requires memory. Otherwise, you’ll simply become what you are.

      • Steve Brulé

        Very insightful!

      • LikkiCurry

        Only that societal indoctrination can cause you to be what they want you to be, not what you are. For most men, treating yourself as a subhuman is a widely acceptable norm.

      • Mr. E

        “Only indoctrination requires memory. Otherwise, you’ll simply become what you are.”

        What a great line. I’m going to keep that one!

  • Wolle Pelz

    Thanks for sharing your experiences. I experienced similar things. But I suffered more under domestic violence.

    That “rape thing” was “just once”.

    Thanks again for telling the truth – also it hurts.

    I’m sorry for my english: I’m German.

    • Wolle Pelz


  • Steve Brulé

    Another difficult to read article. Partly because most men have experienced some form of sexual assault from a woman and accepted it because we have been taught, and have internalized, that we are nothing more than the mules of the world. We’ve even been taught to consider ourselves lucky if we are sexually assaulted by a woman.
    Feminism is projecting when it calls ours a “rape culture.” Feminists have been metaphorically raping our culture, our men and our boys for over 40 years, and they even deny the literal rape of men, as told in this story. From their deeply repressed guilt springs forth the paranoia that motivates them to incessantly point and scream “rape culture!”
    Thanks for having the courage to speak out!

  • sondjata olatunji

    Wow. Powerful read.

  • Gord Birch

    Fantastic discussion and I respect and almost fully back how you feel in these thoughts

  • David M. Green

    Re: I reject the ideas of Dworkin and Firestone and Koss, all of whom have
    publicly stated that men who are raped somehow deserve it.

    NO One Deserves To Be Raped! Dworkin, Firestone and Koss are all examples of those who end up becoming the very “EVIL” they claim to be fighting against.

  • 2cyar

    Thank you for telling your story Mark. I know it is often difficult for men to tell others about how they have been abused or taken advantage of. They feel a lot of shame because our culture indoctrinates us that men have to be strong and in control at all times or else they are weak, useless, and defective. Men have to overcome their shame and bring out in the open that women are as capable of evil behavior as men can be and need to be held just as responsible and criminally accountable as men are. They also need to know that men are feeling human beings and deserve the same rights and compassion as women do. I have told parts of my own story at times in other places, only to have my posts disappear from the comments. It doesn’t even say that “this comment was deleted”…it just disappears but yet I know it was visible because there were upvotes/downvotes registered before it vanished. I suppose it was too controversial or they considered me a troll, or something, but I was simply telling the truth from my perspective. Thank goodness there are still places like this where the truth can get out. It’s likely too late to benefit many of us, but it gives me hope for future generations. If men are to be held responsible, accountable, and criminally responsible for an action then so should women be also. If we are not willing to hold women accountable, responsible, or criminally liable for an action or behavior, then neither should men be. This is the gold standard of equality, and finding common (sense) ground, and is the only way to keep us all honest with each other as we decide what laws we consent to live under in our Western systems of democracy.

    I reject your stupid double standards and I give you them back to you. I remove myself from your world entirely and live by my rules, under my direction, taking responsibility only for myself. I reject your ideas on relationships, parenthood, governance and employment rights. I refuse to engage with a society that blames me for the crimes committed against me. This is what forgiveness is. In short, I forgo your world and the consequences of your ideas, your attitudes, your crimes and I gladly return it all to you.

    I think that this is the only rational attitude to adopt as a man today in most of Western society. We have to remove ourselves from under the social norms, expectations, and judgments of the dominant society to eliminate our shame. This is the first step to telling the other side of the story…a side that has been suppressed and ignored for too long and that needs to be put front and center in the public consciousness.

  • ForTheLulz

    This is why I would not let someone who even attempted to rape me walk away alive.

  • shmiggen

    This is a very powerful article and I believe it ought to be considered for avfm’s permanent pieces.

  • Jon

    This powerful article touches on something I’ve thinking about – “Do we need to teach woman not to rape?”

    Men are taught from birth not to rape women. Male rapists are the villains on TV, never the heroes. Men who rape are rarely shown as redeemable or worthy of mercy. Our parents and authority figures tell men to respect and protect women. Even a sociopathic man with a abominable upbringing knows that rape is a crime a man can commit and it will be severely punished. The minority men of men who do rape, know it is wrong.

    However, do women who rape know it is wrong? Where are the monstrous female TV villains who rape men? What parents tell their daughters to respect men’s sexual boundaries? What rape prevention program specifically tells women they shouldn’t commit rape? Who/what tells women that they can rape a man and it is wrong? Who/what even tells women that men have sexual boundaries!? How can women think they are capable of rape when rape is always portrayed as a uniquely male crime and the dominate (grossly misinformed) social narrative is that men are emotionless fuck-machines that will take any and all sex they can get?

    I honestly think that most women don’t understand they are capable of raping men. They just don’t get it. Even female rapists probably think what they did wasn’t rape or maybe it wasn’t really “rape” rape. Now, I could be wrong. I haven’t conducted any surveys, so I don’t know what all woman think. But, I’m 100% serious when I ask: “Do we need to teach woman not to rape?” Because it seems like nobody is right now.

  • DukeLax

    Rock on “Mr C”

  • djadmoros

    Great text! Powerful and to the point! And no, I cannot refute your arguments. Finding a remedy will require that these »things personal« are fed back to society in a political way. For society does not react earlier to problems than when beginning to choke on them.

  • DukeLax

    Bro, Im sorry about what happened to you when you were 23. And thank you for helping the MRM!!!

  • dudester4

    Powerful narrative.

  • thatdogguy

    His story perfectly explains why men “check out” of our feminist run world. Sometimes, MGTOW is the only sane choice. More and more men are waking up to this reality.

    • LikkiCurry

      Which is only good. Look what happened in Japan – women there are furious because they can’t get laid. This will only continue until either they get the message, or the society will crumble down without male drones to lever it.

      • thatdogguy

        Very true. Men aren’t just shunning marriage, they are shunning relationships with women entirely. Who can blame them? It’s not worth the risk.

  • HeraSentMe

    So a man rapes you, other men trivialize it, and you therefore hated women. Later, a woman tries to rape you, you thwart the attack, and you therefore hated women. You need to think that through some more.

    Lots of us were sexually abused and/or raped. I among them. It didn’t make me hate a whole group of people, it made me hate the person who attacked me. I let the hate go quite a few squares back, because hate makes a lousy life partner. You claim to have done the same, but you haven’t. You’ve just externalized it and projected it onto others. You’re still letting your abusers determine your life path.

    That means they win.

    • Keith

      Unless I missed something, I don’t think he has even hinted at “hating” anyone in this article. On the contrary, he says he has forgiven his own attackers and even the society that condones his horrendous treatment.

      Does he say he is less trusting of the women that he tends to attract or be attracted to? Sure, and with good reason. History is nothing if not a valuable teacher. Also, I don’t think merely being
      selective about who you choose to partner with, if anyone, and choosing not to
      have sex is equivalent to the hatred of anyone.

      • Meneca

        Except for the final line of “I hope you choke on it.” This is not a satement of forgiveness. I hope someday he can finally, truly forgive. Until then the road to healing is long, painful and sometimes fraught with setbacks.

        • Keith

          Fair enough

        • Borneonawind

          He did that on the final kine of a lengthy article. Had a woman been even eve teased, the resulting furor and and all the kind of unbelievable venom spewed by feminists, I assure you it would have been anything but one-line.

        • RevSpinnaker

          I thought it was a classic closing line. Sometimes “forgiveness” starts when you decide not to kill your perpetrator.

        • Alisha Walker

          I typically try to stay away from posting on these articles since I am female, but no rape survivor should ever be told they must forgive their rapist. Fuck that shit. Rapists don’t deserve forgiveness. If he chooses to hand out forgiveness as a method to help him heal, that is his choice, but it should be on HIS terms. If he chooses to hate his rapists and pray for their untimely painful death till the end of time – also his choice. The only thing that matters is what he feels will help him most – he isn’t telling anyone else how to live their lives, but rather reflecting on his own life and trying to find a way forward. Unless you have been raped, you can never understand what it feels like to have society react by telling you how you’re supposed to act/heal/live as a survivor (and it is certainly a different reaction for men and women, so I’m not claiming to understand his situation – just saying that being expected to display specific things at specific times is crazy). There is no developmental chart for rape survivors to meet, because it’s a different process for everyone. Saying he needs to forgive his attacker makes his feelings on the subject less important than ours – and they shouldn’t be. It is much more productive to accept his feelings and encourage him in the steps he is taking to help himself feel comfortable.

          • driversuz

            To be fair, I don’t think Meneca was prescribing forgiveness, which would indeed be insensitive and inappropriate. I think he was pointing out that eventual forgiveness (beyond my imagination, under such circumstances) can be a worthy goal, as it does more for the victim than it does for the offender.
            But your point is valid. People recover from trauma at individual paces and in individual ways, and nobody has any business telling anybody how it should be done.

    • Frosty2013

      His article is huge and mentions “hate” zero times. Your comment is 2 paragraphs and mentions “hate” 6 times.

      Hating a group of people and deciding to avoid potentially risky or toxic encounters with those people are two different things, one is an emotional response and the other is simply a logical one to mitigate risk.

      Given he never mentioned hate a single time and it’s the most frequent word you use, I suspect you’re projecting your own feelings into the matter. I’m sorry to hear you were also abused but that’s no excuse to start wildly accusing other victims of nonsense.

  • Ohone

    “I’m not convinced that there is a rape culture in the way that it is portrayed by feminists”.

    Well, many of the things they call rape culture do exist, and a lot of their observations are correct, logical and nuanced – the normalization, victim blaming, condoning in a back handed way – its just that these things seem to effect men much more than they do women.

    As well as that they deliberately keep this culture in place by hiding the stats. on female sexual aggression.

    Thanks for sharing your story.

  • Kelsey da Silva

    That was horrendously difficult to read, but I’m glad I did. Thank you for speaking out; I commend you for your courage and skill with the pen. Like when viewing feminist protests, I felt my ovaries curl up in shame and felt very, very ill, but even more so here than when watching the hypocritical harpies go on their hate filled tyrade. How loathsome it is to realize you are in the same category of physical person as some of these monsters…I realize now why my male friends react so outwardly when there is a rape in the news, as they must feel the same way, a deep seeded shame and horror. I myself have been a victim of assault, although my story is child’s play compared to yours. Like you, the perpetrator was a woman, and so I felt I couldn’t say anything; while I was a girl, so was the assailant, and women can’t rape/hurt/assault, right? I was a kid, but the fact that I thought that shows how deep the one sided ness of this issue is if it affects even the minds of children. The mentioning of forgiving being to return what was “given” was brilliant as well, and I feel a load of my mind that has long sat there with your description. It is not my issue, and it never was. It was thrust upon me, and now I hand it back with a smile. I grieve for your loss of trust in women, but I understand it, especially in regards to sex. I’m sure you realize that like many women realize, that not all on the other side are monsters; there just happen to be some among us. I really hope your healing and strength continue to grow, and that your message of a harsh reality spreads. Hopefully change can come from it, as it is desperately needed.

    • Mr. E

      ” I’m sure you realize that like many women realize, that not all on the other side are monsters; there just happen to be some among us. I really hope your healing and strength continue to grow, and that your message of a harsh reality spreads.”

      Yes, but Feminists routinely deny that women can be rapists or that men can be raped.

  • Keith

    It’s sad that you felt the need to justify your lifestyle in our supposed “free
    and liberal” society but I’m glad you did. This piece succinctly documents
    so many of the issues men face and I’m sorry so many of them happened to you at

    It seems like you have moved on and I’m happy to read that, but
    there is no shame in being selective about who you partner with, if anyone. Who
    knows, maybe you’ll meet someone worth partnering with one day when you’re
    ready, but until then stay skeptical and live for yourself man!

  • DukeLax

    Since more and more MGTOW’s have been participating in the MRM over the last few years, I feel they are adding a bold / independent…….philosophical dimension to movement. Teaching guys that they don’t need to seek love anywhere outside themselves…Is a gift.

  • Frosty2013

    I’m really sorry you’ve been through all of this, I can’t imagine how terrible it must have been, you’re extremely brave to share your story with everyone, a difficult read but facing the truth is often hard.

    I feel lucky to be a MGTOW who avoided a lot of these issues by arriving at this position relatively early, the silver lining is that by telling your story you show men and boys what the world is really like and you give them an opportunity to decide for themselves what risks they take and the potential consequences. Thank you for helping others, I really appreciate it.

  • gary959

    Hope this helps:

  • TarnishedSophia

    Mr. C, I am so sympathetic to what has happened to you. I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and understand what it’s like for someone to use your body for themselves with no regard to your own needs/desires.

    The man who initially raped you should rot in prison for the rest of his life, just as the woman who raped you should. The woman who attempted to rape you should be removed from any authoritative positions, so that she will have a slightly more difficult time using such power against anyone else. I am so glad that you were in a position and had the physical strength to prevent this second rape from occurring…many victims do not, either because they are weaker than their assailants or are in an involuntary state of shock.

    It sickened me to read of these 2 women who essentially believed your body was a sex toy for them. Anyone can say no to having sex at any time, and should be able to do so with the knowledge that their spouse/partner will respect those wishes. I myself have been “denied” sex with my FwB on various occasions when he didn’t feel well. Did I persist in attempting to have sex with him? Of course not! Why? Because I care about him, and while he was physically capable of having sex, the idea of using someone for my pleasure without their full participation and consent is repugnant. If my partner can’t get pleasure from sex at that time, there’s no reason to force them into it, regardless of my own needs. That’s what masturbation is for…
    My vagina does not entitle me to the use of his penis if he says no.

    • Mr. E

      “My vagina does not entitle me to the use of his penis if he says no.”

      Yes, but I can tell you that he is not alone in his experience.

  • Chris Dagostino

    During my freshman year in college, a fellow student decided to climb into bed with me after she and I had spent some time socializing and drinking with my next-door neighbors. She threw in the towel, but only after about 15 minutes of me asking her to leave while she stuck her tongue out and groped me under the sheets.

    If the roles were reversed and she’d reported me, I’d probably be typing this from the prison library.

    • Craig Martin

      You ‘Would’ be typing this from a prison library.

  • Patrick DiSandro

    “I had to read treatises by Mary Koss and Andrea Dworkin; I had it stated to me that, as rape is a crime of power, any man who is subjected to this crime should be automatically incarcerated for life – the logic being that any man who has had his “power” removed by the act of forced sex will immediately seek to “regain” this loss of power by simply raping as many women as possible, therefore in order to protect women we should imprison male victims before they have the opportunity to further victimize women.”

    Putting aside how ludicrous, how INSULTING and inhuman this is… if we entertained the notion as true than by this logic, should we not incarcerate female rape victims? Feminism teaches us that women have “power”. If a woman has her “power” removed won’t she try to reclaim it? Perhaps not by rape, but by other crimes. Assault? Murder? Also crimes of “power”. It almost makes sense, after all the true terror or rape isn’t the physical assault, it’s the mental assault. If you dashed all emotion from the concept and looked at it purely physically, rape is just intercourse. It’s the mental trauma, the knowledge, the concept of what was forced upon you that makes it so vile. It’s what makes it second only to murder among the crimes that can be committed from one person to another. Mental assault, mental duress, it can drive you to temporary insanity. What if a rape victim killed an innocent just to prove themselves valid? It’s a real risk, but it would be stupid to lock up all female rape victims just in case they went crazy. It’s why we don’t punish people prior to the commitment of a crime.
    This is a pattern in feminism. The vilifying of men, of heterosexual intercourse, of many things such to the point that you want to punish them for possible future crimes rather than ‘wait for them to happen.’ Like the ever quoted hypothetical “Even if only 1/10 men are toxic, if you had a bowl of candy and 1/10 were poison, you’d be hesitant to reach in and grab a piece.”

    • RevSpinnaker

      “If a woman has her “power” removed won’t she try to reclaim it?”
      You mean like false accusations and stealing the kids.

      • Patrick DiSandro

        Exactly, except in nearly all cases, the women aren’t raped before doing that. Slander and Extortion are simply other crimes of power that evil people can do, and the women that do that (by no means representative of all women) ARE evil.

      • Patrick DiSandro

        Exactly, except in nearly all cases, the women aren’t raped before doing that. Slander and Extortion are simply other crimes of power that evil people can do, and the women that do that (by no means representative of all women) ARE evil.

    • Alex Cockell

      And Germaine Greer said explicitly that male rape victims belonged in high-security prisons… can’t remember the exact quote…

      • Titan000

        Seriously. Disgusting.

  • OnTheBayou

    A horrible story, especially the part about the rape. A question and a comment or two.

    First, I have never not wanted to have sex when a woman I was with wanted to. And since the author’s body must have been responding with an erection, his body wanted to have sex. My question is, did he sometimes feel the same way before the rape, or is this a continuing reaction to the rape? Of course, regardless of the answer, his desire should be respected.

    I once dated a woman who was gang raped some years before. She had to knock on a door at 3AM naked afterwards. She took responsibility for her part of it happening; she drank heavily in a bar, accepted a ride home with three men. Yes, in an ideal world she should not have been raped, but the world isn’t ideal, especially at the intersection of biology and society. Anyway, Karen loved sex, even somewhat kinky. Her rape did not destroy her. I do recognize that men generally don’t have penises inserted into them, much more traumatic I would wager than a penis into a vagina, even if unwanted.

    These are only observations. Please do not take my comments as any kind of lack of sympathy.

    • RevSpinnaker

      Performance anxiety often occurs in men who were sexually assaulted. It’s a part of post traumatic stress.

  • Kevin Wayne

    “He claims no one to date has been able to refute his arguments for the wisdom of this choice”

    Far be it from me to attempt to “refute” your reasons for why you chose the path that you have. If you think the White Picket Fence ain’t for you, I assume you’re right. Undue bitterness & angry gender separatism bother me far more than anything. I don’t see that here. I just see a personal story of some real pain & some real resolve in how to move forward in the most healthy way possible. Props to you for workin’ through it, Brother!

  • old man bob

    I’ve heard stories of women going crazy over being rejected from having sex with guys, and have experienced it myself.

    • Sandon

      It happened to me when i was 17. She wanted me bad and i was polite in saying no! My friend wanted her but she didn’t want him. She threatened violence, would not speak to me, accused me of being a bad person and all sorts of things.

      I am me and i can’t be with someone i am not attracted to, i can’t just have sex for the sake of having sex and i love sex. I would have it everyday, 4 times a day with the right girl. At 17, i had ever only had sex once, even though i tried for years to get a girl, this girl was just not who i wanted and she went absolutely “CRAZY” I would not have called her ‘ugly’ or anything, she just wasn’t my type, simple. I had to stay away from her in case she sicked the dogs onto me. Even years later she hated me, like i had done something terribly wrong to her.

      I didn’t even flirt with her or give her any sort of reason to think i wanted her. The only thing i had done was get a paralysis tick from out of her head after a big group of us went bush walking. Everybody else was there, while i did that because she was absolutely freaking out about this tick in her head.

      Even a good friend of mined teased me about her years later saying, “Remember that dumb bitch Dee that wanted you and went psycho?” Hahahaha!

      Meet the Crazies!

  • Matt Sullivan

    Hi Mark,

    Firstly, thanks for your story. It was rather disheartening to read how backwards and one sided society is being driven.

    I’ve been a lurker on this website for a while now. Finding this to be a very astute method of finding out information important to me that never reaches any form of news here in New Zealand.

    My wife has been very supportive and reads most of the articles and we sit and discuss most at length. But the comment of “oh but that doesn’t exist to the same extent here” has always been her fallback counter. That was until watching the news one night, a statement by a disgruntled self proclaimed feminist “there is a very real and prominent rape culture active in this city” is when the penny dropped.

    Since then, we have been actively seeking more and more information and spreading the news (with varying degrees of success) to friends and workmates about this site and men’s health & rights issues abroad and local.

    On behalf of myself and my family, we would willingly open our home to you Mark should you ever be down this part of the world, and wish you the best.

    To the editors and writers for AVfM. Please allow me to offer my thanks and appreciation for what you are doing and know you have a supporter and advocate in the Deep South.

    Thank you.

    • Jack Strawb

      Welcome, Matt. I look forward to more comments from you, and from your wife. Cheers.

  • Sandon

    Hearing a story like this only shows that the further this corruption goes the sooner we are going to head into war.Even a police officer woman, thinks it is her right to have sex?? I can see it now, men walking into all government departments, guns blazing, it will be a catastrophic war, no doubt!

    If you are constantly denied your rights, especially your rights to your personal body, this includes sperm for children and sex, than retaliation is inevitable. At the moment it is going your own way but one day, a man is going to be so pissed off that he will erupt into mega violence and than the copycats will follow suit.

    These idiots are trying to enforce a war, it is plain obvious. If they can classify a man in prison as being raped, and call you the criminal if it happens to you on the outside, than all men have lost faith in the injustice and illegal system. It is obvious that this is their plan.

    Mark – I am sorry you had this happen to you, WHAT A DISGRACE THIS WORLD IS.

  • John Narayan

    One of the best MGTOW videos I have seen, made by a 22 year old.

  • Joe D.

    I am not judging your decision, or your choices. Please, for your own sake, just see a therapist for your own well being. Not to change your decision, just to ensure you get the support you need for the horrors you’ve experienced. If you have already done so, I hope your life is a little less traumatic. We all need a little trauma to grow, but some I don’t wish on anyone. Rape is one of those trauma’s that I wish never happened to anyone.

    • nordmann

      I second that. I think you already have shown a lot of strength and wisdom. Your subjective attitude towards your objective status as a victim is as good as it gets. Don’t accept anyone’s definition of you as a damaged person or of the crime committed against you as irreparable. Victim-think is designed to disempower victims.

  • Cadence Wallace

    Feminists’ dismissive attitudes towards men being raped is what pushed me away and largerly caused me to declare myself an ex-Feminist. For a group that claimed to be against rape they sure prove themselves hypocrites. So here I am trying to find proper info and such is trying to get rid of the useless crap I’ve been spoon fed as a result of societal expectations and the crap I was fed for the couple years I called myself a Feminist. Yet I still have cobwebs and gunk to scrape off of me though. Long way to go though but all in all I’m glad I found this website.

    That being said I’m glad I read this and glad I found this website. Never thought I’d say I’m glad I found the latter though.

  • Teknikid

    Hi Mark. It saddens me this happened to you. If you feel inclined to check it out, . It is an online resource of support for men and boys who are survivors of sexual abuse.

    • Titan000

      You only survive if you overcome. I don’t think I can accurately classify men as survivors unless they have overcome their trauma and grown stronger. Refusing to be a victim.

      • Teknikid

        Refusing to be a victim is exactly what Malesurvivor is about. It’s about healing and recovery from the affects of sexual abuse.

  • Titan000

    ”sexual objectification”

    How is that such a bad thing? If someone finds you attractive that’s not a problem.

  • Mr. E

    Considering the myriad of ways that Feminists have worked out that men can rape women, you would think that we could at least have ONE definition for men getting raped.

    Good article. I wish we could figure out a way to change the narrative regarding male rape. Especially by females (not that any rape is good) but Feminists always claim that men cannot be raped by a woman. I really do not understand why the original non-gendered version of the Domestic Violence Act can’t still be passed. Why can’t Men raise a court challenge against it? As it is currently written it does not guarantee equal protection to half of the population.


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