Dual

Elam vs Frost: Texas Death Match – Round 1

On October 19, after a long run of on again off again internal debate, I wrote a short, admittedly snarky and provocative piece about PUA and Game; to wit, Chateau Bullshit. My intent was two-fold. One, to take a swing at the dumb and decidedly dodgy notion that pussyism, the ideology of PUA’s, is integral to human male development, and two, to take a needed shot at some of the tongue-shite™ about MRA’s that has emanated from the ineptly called “other side of the MRM coin.”

For the purpose of this event, I don’t think targeting individuals in that respect is going to be anything but distracting. We already know the rift is there. Or, as blogger G.L. Piggy called it, “[T]he fault line that has always existed between MRAs and practitioners of Game.”

As to my piece that caused so many panties to get in a twist, I openly acknowledge that I could have written a lot more substance into it, but the fact is that in terms of the basic premise, not much else was needed, except to those who need it spelled out, and this “debate” will serve that purpose well enough.

After I wrote that article I was quickly attacked (no, that isn’t a complaint) by someone who calls himself Frost, who wrote a response over on Inmalafide.com, a valued site driven by the great and terrifying Ferdinand Bardamu. It was actually not Frosts first effort at lecturing MRA’s on what they ought to do, and taking a look at that can help put some of this in perspective.

Another piece he wrote also posted to Ferd’s site on October 24 It is titled “Men’s Rights Activists: You Will Never Win the Battle You’re Fighting.”

This was apparently not a response to me, but something meant to enlighten all of us down here in the ranks of us “spineless pussies,” as another hostile reaction inferred.

Please bear with the slight diversion into the second mentioned piece by Frost. It serves to illustrate one valuable point.

In that particular article, he starts things off with noting “The definitive MRA publication is The Spearhead, an online magazine that features articles by a variety of regular columnists and guest writers.”

Most of you will see the problem out of the gate with that, considering that The Spearhead, though a chest of gold, is not an MRA website, much less the definitive one. All you have to do is ask the man who runs it, W.F. Price, who is not an activist.

I brought this up not to tear into all the fallacies in that article (which I could easily do) but to point out that from the outset, mercy points will have to be given my opponent. He is not very well informed about the MRM.

That being said, this exchange will all come down on my part to supporting my contentions in the Chateau Bullshit piece, and that means a more detailed critique of Game and PUA (which have to be separated) as well as presenting my unimpeachable and pristine rationale for a superior alternative.

I will do that with vigor before we are done here, but the matter at hand now is to respond to Frost’s first “attack,” and set the record straight on the most glaring of his initial misconceptions.

I will use excerpts from his article, the entirety of which can be read here.

Oh, and a disclaimer. I do not pretend to speak for anyone but myself. I consider my opinions on the MRM, broadly defined, to be just that, my opinions. Acknowledging this in advance will save me a lot of “IMO’s” through the debate, and hopefully save knee-jerkers from telling me unnecessarily that I don’t speak for all MRA’s. I will copy and paste this in the comments for the terminally unobservant.

OK, ready? Let’s do it.

First, Frost says this:

I am sympathetic to the values and goals of the Men’s Rights Movement, to which Paul is a valuable contributor. But the movement is heading for a split.”

Let’s dispense with this nonsense up front.  There is no connection between MRA’s and PUA’s. Sure, there is some crossover in web traffic, and one area of shared interest in human sociobiology, but that is where it begins and ends. There is no unity between the two camps and even less in the way of philosophical similarity. All one has to do is just look at the content on MRA and PUA websites.

The results, in terms of content and focus, look something like this:

MRA: False rape accusations

PUA: Getting pussy

MRA: Family law

PUA: Getting pussy

MRA: Feminist governance

PUA: Getting pussy

MRA: Erosion of civil rights

PUA: Getting, well, you know…pussy.

 

What the fuck, are we not supposed to know what it is that the “artists” are picking up? And do they ever even pretend to be concerned with anything else? And that is what is really at issue here. Picking up women is fine. Trying to pass it off as something more than it is, well, not so much.

Frost’s imagined split is like the looming divide between bird watchers and spelunkers. We expect them to be at war any minute now.  All they have to do is figure out where they have any real estate to fight over. The war may be on indefinite hold as the bird watchers are watching birds, none of which live in caves.

And this really brings me to the opportunity to deal with something else here that has to be said, especially since I am focusing on PUA only in this post – as opposed to Game, which I will address at length later.

We must accept that on the broad scale that PUA is part of the men’s movement. Note, I did not say men’s rights movement.  The fact is that men, in several ways, are beginning to change, to adapt, with greater or lesser efficacy, to an avalanche of changes in our coexistence with women.

In that light, we have a lot of camps in our vacillating world. This includes MRA’s, Gamers, PUA’s, male feminists, manginas, and traditionalists that have made some adjustments to the new gender world order. The different groups are diverse and often divergent, but all of them are part of a slowly shifting and changing “men’s movement.”

With that in mind, think of PUA’s as the Amway of the men’s movement.  They are constantly recruiting, selling, and recruiting some more, which is why they sniff around the outskirts of activist operations like this.  They smell DVD sales and enrollment in classes on how to walk up to a woman and say your name without stuttering. Cutting edge stuff.

They cloak all this nonsense in a lot of chest thumping and brio, imagining that non PUA’s are a bunch of chumps who aren’t very skilled with women.

Remember, it all comes back to the pussy, which also brings us back to another one of Frosts huge misconceptions; that being that somehow he got the idea that I was preaching celibacy – or even practicing it.

He says of my “advice,” in his piece: “A man who follows it will remain a lifelong celibate. Also perhaps, a lifelong A Voice for Men reader, as his celibacy breeds more bitterness and thus more susceptibility to Paul’s particular brand of self-help advice for the modern man.”

Just for the record I am almost 10 years into a relationship with a woman. I have never advocated, for or against, celibacy, but my experience (I never called it advice) yielded a glut of butt, assuming, of course, that is all you are interested in.

To wit, take a listen to this. I put it up a year and a half ago on YT.

Play

You see, doing what I did resulted in a whole slew of women lining up for summa dis. It was as easy as not giving a shit.  I didn’t need lines or come on’s or a fucking book of tactics. All I needed to do was choose one if I liked her. If the intent was celibacy, I failed miserably.

Now, there is much more to this that I will get to in my next post, but what I am asserting, for men interested in getting laid, as well as being interested in screening out the most obvious of potential problem women, is that they will get a lot more benefit from understanding a much bigger picture than is offered by PUA.

Where PUA fails, and fails at its most miserable, is that it only invests enough in the understanding of Evo-psych to result in a shot of leg. And they invest even less in the reasonable understanding that tail no longer comes without some serious risks that demand any rational man look way past potential notches on his belt.  That is something that would be different, in my estimation, if these guys were anywhere near as successful as they claim.

So the things that make up the bigger, more important picture will be a big surprise to a lot of guys that think PUA is the way to go, but nothing new to those that already know better.

One thing I will address now comes from Frost’s own words. He says, of his imagined divide in our respective camps, “On one side will be the reasonable and principled Men’s Rights Activists, who will recognize and respect the desire of men to improve their lives, including their relationships with women.”

Of course, now anyone who wants to can go read PUA sites and sort through all the scheming, calculation, manipulation and conning done to find a dark wet hole for their Twinkie to soak in – oh, sorry, I meant to say “improve their lives and their relationships with women.” Then they can come back to AVfM and talk about all those principles.

Much more on those principles later, but right now, as I mentioned in the video, most men seek women out like trained seals doing tricks for a scrap of fish. PUA offers you pay-for-service instructions on how to balance beach balls on your nose a little longer, and clap your flippers a little louder, and abso-fucking-lutely nothing else. It’s begging lessons for pussy paupers, but you might tend deny that and believe them when they tell you it makes you a player because every time they make their pitch on their websites, the text is embedded in the proximity of some tasty looking tits and ass. Budweiser sells really shitty beer the same way.

About Paul Elam

Paul Elam is the founder and publisher of A Voice for Men, the founder of A Voice for Men Radio, the AVfM YouTube Channel, and appears weekly on AVFM Intelligence Report, Going Mental with Dr. Tara Palmatier and monthly on MANstream Media with Warren Farrell and Tom Golden.

Main Website
View All Posts
  • AVFM seeks app writer volunteer

    Are you an MHRA? Can you write apps for iPhone and Android? Are you willing to do that for AVFM on a special project? Please contact us.

    A Voice for Men seeks a volunteer with solid app writing experience to help us develop an app that will be linked to the AVFM brand. If you have the qualifications and are serious about following through, we would love to hear from you. Your efforts could be of great assistance to this website and to our cause. Please contact Paul Elam at paul@avoiceformen.com for more details...

  • Wikimasters, Editors, Translators, and Writers Wanted *Apply Now*

    Fight Wikipedia censorship! A Voice for Men and WikiMANNia are working to increase knowledge of men's issues through two wikis: the AVfM Reference Wiki for scholarly references, and WikiMANNia for general-interest men's issues. Volunteers needed for writing, proofreading, and organizing. Some knowledge of the German language will be helpful but *not* required.

    Please write to editorial_team@wikimannia.org...

  • http://jmnzz.wordpress.com Jared White

    Budweiser?

    I don’t always drink beer…

    But when I do…I prefer Dos Equis.

    Stay thirsty my friends.

    • keyster

      I’ve never lost a sock.

  • Adi

    PUA improves lives? That depends on what you consider a good life. If you think getting cheap pussy in mass quantity is a good life, well then PUA does the trick alright.
    But for me that is a bad life – or if not bad, then at best a disaster waiting to happen.
    I only want serious relationships with women I can trust and PUA doesn’t only not help – it actually sabotages that because PUA only attracts the kind of women who are absolutely not relationship material.

    In short:
    PUA is good for one night stands but it sucks for anything else.

    • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

      PUA improves lives? That depends on what you consider a good life. If you think getting cheap pussy in mass quantity is a good life, well then PUA does the trick alright.

      95% of PUAs are still at the same level of pussy-getting of the day they joined. PUA conferences have the highest level of virgins of any conference on planet earth.

      At least 20%* of the top game-gurus have been proven to be frauds with no personal results.

      -> One of them was shown to have only had 2 girls in his entire life, yet he is a guru.

      -> Another admitted only having 2 relationships in his life, ever (and no, he wasn’t hooking up in the meantime)

      -> Another became a PUA teacher 2 weeks after losing his virginity

      -> Another has approach anxiety at 30 years old and spends 2000$ a night on bottle service to get approached by women

      -> Another had been a “guru” since 20 years old. He had been teaching and inventing new pua theories even before he had any results (he invented the amog shit). HE GOT HIS SECOND GIRLFRIEND EVER PREGNANT – with her screwing him over with a “slipped condom” or whatever. So get this, one of the top 3 gurus who is in charge of the top theories in game got gamed by a poor mexican immigrant who trapped him into fatherhood. All of this happened when he was the top-paid PUA guru on the planet.

      *- Note this isn’t to say only 20% are frauds. It’s just that it’s proven beyond the shadow of a doubt for these 20% and it is public knowledge. For me personally, of the gurus I met, worked, and socialized with, a full 90% were sub-average. That means they were even more anti-charismatic and anxious around women and had worse result than the average guy

      Ross Jeffries has a site exposing them

      He keeps getting threats and lawsuits by these guys, but he wins every time. Almost all of them have had run ins with the FTC, have Fs on the BetterBusinessBureau and some have gone to jail. Here’s the site:
      http://www.puafraud.com/

    • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

      Paul wrongly starts with PUAs. Paul came out of the gate leveling a charge against Roissy who is not a PUA but rather a guy who gives advice on getting something that all men want (sex and women) for a cheap price. But he doesn’t address that mis-link. Instead he chalks it up to being provacative – which I read to be a bit of backpeddaling on his part.

      Most of the guys who discuss Game who write in the part of the Manosphere that loosely interacts with AVfM would not subscribe to PUA-ism. They value Game advice with an understanding of the pitfalls of dealing with women on their own terms.

      • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

        But all of Roissy’s advice is rehashed PUA advice.

        Roissy doesn’t have one single original idea or theory on getting laid.

        He just teaches general PUA theories invented by mystery, rsd and deangelo.

        • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

          are we keeping score for originality now? jesus fuck. you keep upping the ante on what counts as legitimate Game advice.

          roissy combines his strong writing skills which pull readers through posts about topics that wouldn’t otherwise get touched upon with a bit of political and cultural background that gets men who are interested in Game to think outside of the Game box and about issues that MRAs are sympathetic to. Roissy brought me to MRA. roissy has done more for MRA than most MRA writers combined.

          but as far as his writings on Game, roissy takes Mystery and those types further by adding the critique of feminism as well as drilling down into everyday situations that men might find themselves confronted with. he hopes to discuss that particular part of a man’s life that he might like to shore up. if you read roissy as advocating for 100% all-day, every-day focus on pussy then i think you’ve misread.

          so, as i stated, Elam gets off on the wrong foot by opening up on PUA. looking back at Frost’s original challenge, he mostly mentions Game and asks Elam to address Game. but Elam jumps towards knocking down a caricature of the worst PUA – something that i think roissy has even undertaken.

          so is this debate about men being overly pussy-centrist or is it about men jumping into something the consequences of which they are ill-prepared? Elam et al keep switching off between these topics.

          • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

            I was responding to your claim here, where you tried to say Paul may not criticize roissy as a PUA

            “Paul came out of the gate leveling a charge against Roissy who is not a PUA but rather a guy who gives advice on getting something that all men want (sex and women)”

            You were there implying that roissy isn’t teaching PUA, but “just teaching how to get sex” – as if though his advice is any different than all other PUA advice. That’s why I brought up that 100% of what he teaches is PUA theory. I don’t care about originality – just calling a spade a spade. Roissy is a PUA.

            You gamers are just… amazing… The lengths of word-twisting you have to go to defend your cognitive dissonance is just… mind-boggling.

  • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

    Paul, you did a great job here because you did something no one else has done. You pointed out how PUAs and MRAs fit into the bigger picture.

    I (and barbarossa and fidelbogen) have always frowned at the notion that we and PUAs are in the same movement.

    You however managed to skillfully make a subtler distinction – to where you pointed out that “PUAs are not a part of the Men’s Rights movement, but they are part of the men’s movement”

    We must accept that on the broad scale that PUA is part of the men’s movement. Note, I did not say men’s rights movement. The fact is that men, in several ways, are beginning to change, to adapt, with greater or lesser efficacy, to an avalanche of changes in our coexistence with women.

    In that light, we have a lot of camps in our vacillating world. This includes MRA’s, Gamers, PUA’s, male feminists, manginas, and traditionalists that have made some adjustments to the new gender world order. The different groups are diverse and often divergent, but all of them are part of a slowly shifting and changing “men’s movement.”

    That does make sense and I agree.

    With that in mind, think of PUA’s as the Amway of the men’s movement. They are constantly recruiting, selling, and recruiting some more, which is why they sniff around the outskirts of activist operations like this. They smell DVD sales and enrollment in classes on how to walk up to a woman and say your name without stuttering. Cutting edge stuff.

    Focusing on the commercial aspect of game is extremely important for the following reasons…

    A) The PUA movement was borne out of commercial interests. You can never separate PUA from commercial PUA, because there never was PUA outside of commercial interests – it was borne out of the clients of paid PUA – there has never been a grasroots PUA

    B) There isn’t a single game or pua theory that was not invented by someone trying to sell a seminar or a product. This isn’t a generalization, it is an absolute. Every single original theory, concept or belief in game was invented by someone trying to sell guys on products.

    At this point a gamer might come in and say “But i’ve never bought a product yet”.

    It doesn’t matter. Even if you study from some of the free-rehashers (like roissy or roosh) – the theory itself was invented for commercial reasons. A lot of the evo-psych interpretations and a lot of the alpha-beta-celibate fear-mongering was invented for marketing purposes.

  • Muk

    “I (and barbarossa and fidelbogen) have always frowned at the notion that we and PUAs are in the same movement.”

    and as much as I respect Fidelbogen and Barbarossa (sry, haven’t seen much from you other than a crazed tirade)
    I have to disagree. PUA, MGTOW and MRA *are* all part of the same movement ( the “Men’s Movement”)
    but neither PUA, nor MGTOW are part of the Mens *RIGHTS* Movement because while there are PUA and MGTOW who are also MRA, neither of them explicitly calls for any activism.

    • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

      Do you realize you just said you disagree with me, but then said the same thing I said? And all I said was that I agree with Paul Elam, who said the same thing you’re saying.

      Doesn’t that prove that gamers have a built-in command to never read what critics of game say?

      • Paul Elam

        I was just sitting here laughing my ass off about that. :)

      • Muk

        And you fail to mention that you edited your comment while I was writing mine.
        I read it. and responded to what it said before you added more to it. I made a second post responding to your edit

        And in case you need it spelled out, I do agree with Most of what Paul said

        edit: Also. Grow up. I’m not part of some collective “THE GAMERS THINK THIS” I’m an individual. I think and say what I want based off of my own personal experiences. I am not “A Gamer” any more than you are “A MRA”

        and

        I don’t give a shit about “Critics of Game” quit with the adolescent argument skills

        • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

          I haven’t edited anything. You just stopped reading past the second sentence. You read the first sentence where I was talking about how I USED TO think and you replied to that – without reading the full comment and seeing that I have just had my mind changed by paul.

          This proves what I have said for years. Gamers never truly read what their critics say.

          They just skim and assume and project things onto their critics. A gamer the other day projected onto Paul and said that paul is a mangina who buys fancy cars, fancy watches and tries to impress women by pretending to care about girly topics. This guy also said that Paul’s main criticism of gamers is that gamers “manipulate women” and that paul is trying to protect women from manipulation.

          DID YOU SEE ANY OF THOSE THINGS IN PAUL’S PIECE? No -> Then how did your gamer-teacher friend project all those things onto paul?

          • Muk

            lol
            OK, champ
            You’re obviously “too smart” for me
            I’m not going to keep arguing an irrelevant digression (I was right, btw)

            Edit:
            Also… who is this “Game teacher friend”? lolol
            Whoever that guy is, is an idiot

  • Muk

    “A) The PUA movement was borne out of commercial interests. You can never separate PUA from commercial PUA, because there never was PUA outside of commercial interests – it was borne out of the clients of paid PUA – there has never been a grassroots PUA”

    I guess all of those free Internet forums full of amateur PUAs discussing theories and developing tactics don’t exist.

    “B) There isn’t a single game or pua theory that was not invented by someone trying to sell a seminar or a product. This isn’t a generalization, it is an absolute. Every single original theory, concept or belief in game was invented by someone trying to sell guys on products.”

    1) I can name several, in fact, I would argue that most of them were invented by amateur PUAs sharing what they learned that was later put into books and CDs/DVDs
    and
    2) SO WHAT? Because someone makes money off of something turns it into some kind of scam?

    Don’t drive your car, whoever Made it, did it for commercial reasons

    That computer you’re using, there are several different companies who developed the technology…for commercial reasons

    Do you have a problem with Capitalism?

    • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

      I guess all of those free Internet forums full of amateur PUAs discussing theories and developing tactics don’t exist.

      Strawman. I did admit that there are tons of amateurs who are rehashing and recycling the theories for free, and teaching them for free.

      All the core theories however were invented for MARKETING purposes. Not a single theory in game was ever invented without having marketing in mind

      Don’t drive your car, whoever Made it, did it for commercial reasons

      That computer you’re using, there are several different companies who developed the technology…for commercial reasons

      Do you have a problem with Capitalism?

      I’ll assume good faith, so I’ll make it clearer for you. I do not have a problem with someone making money selling advice.

      Here’s the distinction -> The game theories were invented to maximize evangelization and addiction potential. They were not invented to maximize results for the consumer.

      What that means is that every theory that DeAngelo came up with (he has admitted since) was invented to get the student feeling insecure and lacking and buying more game and studying more game. Just the same technique scientology uses.

      Do you get it? The theories were not invented to make you better – they were invented to get you addicted to studying game.

      The fact that you learned the theories from a rehasher doesn’t change the fact that they were originally invented to get a customer addicted to always having to acquire more information.

      • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

        To give you an analogy.

        A lot of junk-food was specifically designed and engineered to have maximum addiction potential and to always have you coming back for more.

        If you get all your junk-food at office parties, for free. Does that change the nature of the junk-food?

        No, it’s still the same junk-food that was originally invented to maximize addiction potential. It wasn’t invented to improve your health.


        You can not understand junk food without understanding the commercial interests who engineered it and why

        – it doesn’t matter if you’re getting it for free


        You can not understand the game movement without understanding the commercial interests who engineered it and why

        – it doesn’t matter if you’re getting it for free

        • Atlas Reloaded

          Jeezzus!

      • victorsvoice

        What that means is that every theory that DeAngelo came up with (he has admitted since) was invented to get the student feeling insecure and lacking and buying more game and studying more game.

        I remember hearing David Deangelo (or Eben Pagan which is his real name) saying something along those lines in one of his business seminars.

        It seems that most “professional” pua’s are businessmen and Internet marketers first and foremost. Although I could be wrong about that of course.

  • the hermit

    A man who follows it will remain a lifelong celibate. Also perhaps, a lifelong A Voice for Men reader, as his celibacy breeds more bitterness

    Ah really? Where did i read this bitterness thing before? PUAs should understand that fighting for getting laid or fighting for your rights are not in the same league. Of course they will not until they are too busy chasing pussies, but that’s all right i guess. At least for awhile.

    That’s an F, sit down.

  • Muk

    Anyone who’s ever spent any time reading comments at The-Spearhead or Anti-Misandry will see that there are a lot of bitter, angry men there
    Rightfully so, in most cases, but bitter and angry nonetheless
    No, not all MRAs are bitter or angry, and not all MGTOW are. Some find their calling in life, some live in celibacy, some find PUA. There is nothing wrong with any of them.

    and then there are some who are just bitter and angry and spend the rest of their lives bitter and angry (probably not healthy)
    I disagree with Frost when he said that. I don’t know him, and he doesn’t speak for me contrary to claims by certain members here who claim we’re all part of some hive mind.

  • Muk

    There are thousands of PUA Marketers peddling their own ELITE VERSION OF PANTY-MELTING GAME and while most of them are dishonest at best, fraudulent conmen at worst, it says nothing of the craft

    It’s like trying to discredit the trade of Automotive Mechanics by saying it’s nothing more than a rip off because there are dishonorable Auto Technicians who would sabotage your car or use trickery to fool you into spending more money

    • Grey Knight

      Seriously, have you even read any of the points at all in all the posts about game/PUA?

      There are thousands of PUA Marketers peddling their own ELITE VERSION OF PANTY-MELTING GAME and while most of them are dishonest at best, fraudulent conmen at worst, it says nothing of the craft

      There have been points made ad nauseum about how wrong that is. No matter how you slice it, ZOMG PANTY MELTING!!! or otherwise, game is just ballyhoo and a whole bunch of air wasted in something that occurs with the human condition – i.e. getting laid.

      It’s like trying to discredit the trade of Automotive Mechanics by saying it’s nothing more than a rip off because there are dishonorable Auto Technicians who would sabotage your car or use trickery to fool you into spending more money

      I really don’t see the correlation because game is just all ofuscation and all that ass pain is just to get some poon. Anyways, game, no matter what kind of spin you try to put on it, game is nothing like car mechanics – it’s more like a lemon lot sale. No matter how good the intention of the salesman, he’s still selling shitty cars.

      • Muk

        “Seriously, have you even read any of the points at all in all the posts about game/PUA?”

        Sure, I’ve read them all several times. Alek won’t let me forget them

        And I am to ask YOU the same question.

        “There have been points made ad nauseum about how wrong that is. No matter how you slice it, ZOMG PANTY MELTING!!! or otherwise, game is just ballyhoo and a whole bunch of air wasted in something that occurs with the human condition – i.e. getting laid.”

        I take that as a “No”

        “I really don’t see the correlation because game is just all ofuscation and all that ass pain is just to get some poon.”

        It’s not all about getting Poon. Guys use it for whatever they want to use it for. David D got Married. Several others have gotten Married or started relationships. You guys keep making this strawman argument about OMGGETTINGPOON when that’s not what it’s all about
        “Anyways, game no matter what kind of spin you try to put on it is nothing like car mechanics.”
        So you mean to tell me that Mechanics don’t look objectively at a problem area, diagnose the problem, fix the problem, and if it still doesn’t work, run diagnosis until the problem has been fixed? Yeah…Game is nothing like that…
        “It’s more like a lemon lot sale. No matter how good the intention of the salesman, he’s still selling shitty cars.”

        Yeah…that was kinda the point I was making. There are frauds and conmen. THEY are bad, not the trade of Auto Mechanics.

        It’s a pretty simple and straightforward analogy, not to mention, quite accurate. I can’t MAKE you get it even if it is laid out in a way that a 12 year old would understand.

        • Grey Knight

          Sure, I’ve read them all several times. Alek won’t let me forget them

          And I am to ask YOU the same question.

          I take that as a “No”

          Tu quoque? Lost me there.. oh yeah, I’m not interested in the myriad ways to seduce a woman when all I had to do is say “hi”. However, I am glad you’re starting to get the rudiments of logic according to the latter part of yout post, though!

          It’s not all about getting Poon. Guys use it for whatever they want to use it for. David D got Married. Several others have gotten Married or started relationships. You guys keep making this strawman argument about OMGGETTINGPOON when that’s not what it’s all about

          It’s pretty much the same thing but just in different packages. Seriously. Why waste your breath in trying so hard?

          So you mean to tell me that Mechanics don’t look objectively at a problem area, diagnose the problem, fix the problem, and if it still doesn’t work, run diagnosis until the problem has been fixed? Yeah…Game is nothing like that…

          When you put it that way….. it isn’t. Mechanical work is done with proven methods and techniques not requiring too much guesswork with the proper diagnostic whereas game relies on the whims of the female of the species – not really objective at all. Need I say more?


          Yeah…that was kinda the point I was making. There are frauds and conmen. THEY are bad, not the trade of Auto Mechanics.

          ….a swing and a miss.

          It’s a pretty simple and straightforward analogy, not to mention, quite accurate. I can’t MAKE you get it even if it is laid out in a way that a 12 year old would understand.

          I see 12 year olds can see the similarities there being all subjective err… objective and all with the exact science and engineering with machinery compared to pseudo-sciency evo psychobabble. Thanks for the ad hominem! :)

    • AntZ

      Most MRAs don’t care about “dishonest” or “dishonourable”. However, there are two things we DO care about:

      1) Woman-worship
      2) A cavalier attitude towards risk

      Imagine if the PUA community was distributing a tool-box of practices to help men deal with women, while also warning that:
      (i) Women are not worth spending time with, except as a last resort.
      (ii) Any time spent with women is enormously risky because the Western court system treats men as default perpetrators and women as default victims.

      The MRM would not have any problem with the PUA community if it was a genuine male self help organization.

      >>> PUA is becoming a religion which simultaneously reviles AND WORSHIPS women <<<

      • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

        I wish I could upvote you 50 times, lol.

      • zuismanm

        Hi.
        1. I suppose you are kidding… I have finally gone to roissy site and read first 2 posts I have found there… you can call it whatever you want but it for sure is not Woman-worship
        2. At least in first post I have read he spoke extensively about false rape accusations and family courts risks
        And if I will summaries in few words rest of your post – you would be ready to “forgive: PUAs if they would accept exactly point to point your attitude toward relationship with females(which attitude do not seems to me at least to be that healthy and even sane). But what can we do – you still did not prove your right to decide for all males in world – what they have to do on their personal life… Even not for MRA minded males…
        Sorry

    • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

      There are thousands of PUA Marketers peddling their own ELITE VERSION OF PANTY-MELTING GAME and while most of them are dishonest at best, fraudulent conmen at worst, it says nothing of the craft

      You don’t get it.

      The problem is that even those who peddle theories for free are peddling the same theories that were invented by the scammers for the purpose of scamming men.

      It’s like someone coming to your home and teaching you advanced scientology courses and scientology rhetoric for free. It doesn’t change the fact that the rhetoric was invented to get you addicted and hooked so you’d keep buying higher level xenu courses.

  • Atlas Reloaded

    OK, first it was the many women’s response to “game” ie “We will ridicule you when we see you’re gmaing us and laugh at your attempts to get laid..AND we’ll do the same if you’re a “nice-guy.” Now after reading more of this the PUAs have given me more reason to remain as MGTOW and MRA as I am. Thanks again morons.

    • Muk

      to re-iterate
      MRA and MGTOW
      are NOT the same thing

      • Atlas Reloaded

        as MGTOW and MRA as I am.

        See the “and”?

        • Muk

          Just making sure there is no confusion

          • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

            Thank you mister gamer.

            Where would we all be without you gamers imparting your knowledge upon us and making sure we don’t get confused.

            We MRAs are kinda dumb celibate nerds as y’know – we need your help and unsolicited advice, as you already know.

    • Atlas Reloaded

      And I won’t be arguing with you any further. This is turning into men fighting with other men, exactly what the MM is not supposed to be about and what feminists laugh at and say all men are,

  • Adi

    Lol. Those frauds at noseriouslywhatabou…. finally banned me. I think me calling Hugo Schwyzer a PUA might have been what did it.

    I wonder what you, Paul, would have to say about that site?

  • AntZ

    Although the PUA/seduction community is not part of the men’s rights movement, it is a component of the broader men’s movement, and a valuable ally to the MRM.

    As such, I am very concerned with using the right words here. I do not want to be a contributor to a feud between natural allies.

    * The MRM is predominantly a civil rights movement, with a secondary self help function for our community.

    * The PUA community is predominantly a self help movement, with a secondary civil rights function within society.

    As such, our views will never be perfectly collinear. Occasional orthogonal viewpoints are unavoidable and acceptable.

    However, there is one area where the MRM and the PUA community are worse than orthogonal — one area where we are clearly in conflict.

    Risk management.

    The PUA community is popularizing a philosophy that:
    (i) Exalts the role of intimacy in the lives of men.
    (ii) Minimizes the enormous risk of false DV and false SA accusations.

    Both of these false and dangerous viewpoints place young men at enormous risk.

    Before the PUA community can grow into a mature movement for male self-help, it will need to place risk management, and the enormous and increasing danger of false DV/SA accusations in particular, in the centre of its practices and its values.

    There is a point where bravado becomes irresponsible. The PUA community is way past this point. Young men are being served up as grist for the feminist court mediated grinder of male lives.

    >>> Stop it <<<

    How many thousands of young men have lost heir futures, their freedom, and their dignity because of irresponsible and cavalier attitudes towards risk?

    Being involves with women in any way (long-term or commitment-free) should only be a last resort for men. Anything less is irresponsible and incompatible with the genuine compassion that defines a mature self-help movement.

    • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

      * The PUA community is predominantly a self help movement, with a secondary civil rights function within society.

      This is wrong.

      The pua has 0% civil rights function – none, zero, zilch, nada.

      Feel free to prove me wrong by searching any PUA forum or going to any PUA conference and trying to strike up a conversation about men’s issues.

      • Muk

        No one really sells PUA to be a Civil Rights agenda as far as I know.

        • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

          Except for gamers who keep coming here and keep saying that “mra and pua” are in the “same league” and have the “same goals”.

          • Muk

            Yea,
            Same goal as in Empowering men to make decisions in their own lives
            It’s personal, not social

            Edit:
            Also I should note that PUAs aren’t invading your “MGTOW-ONLY-no-PUAs-Allowed” club. You don’t own the MM. And you are NOT the MM, you are a PART of it.

            And unless Paul is deleting a lot of PUA marketers or recruiters, there aren’t many-if any, PUAs soliciting MRA’s to join any “cult” (Only Paul, or other moderators could say either way)

  • Atlas Reloaded

    One unforgivably stupid and obtuse question:

    How exactly does what the PUAs say and what they philosophize affect those of us in the MM?

    • Muk

      It empowers men to have more control over their sex lives.
      It helps men to sharpen social skills, find strengths and weaknesses to make them more successful in love and (in some cases) life

      • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

        Apparently game also makes you levitate, spit fireballs and slay dragons with a mere swipe of your finger.

        • Muk

          Sounds cool!
          You must be a Level 70 Guru!
          I am not worthy.

          • zuismanm

            Just my personal advice – do not waist your time on those pure dude. Guy seems to go totally out of nuts. If we even will leave aside fact that he seems to sit 24/7 near his comp and tack-backing here. Looking at few randomly chosen his posts give me definite feeling that guy need urgent professional help. So – I just do not think that you deal here with somehow reasonable person , and it worse any waist of time

      • Atlas Reloaded

        K…you gave my a reason why game is so important. I see it is to you. That’s nice. I meant why a big argument over it. Spelunkers and bird-watchers may glean a lot from arguing their uncompartive activities but ultimately what PUAs jabber on about is not germane to my being an MRA or MGHOW.

        • Muk

          I’m not the one making a big argument over it
          I’ve been a member of this site for over a year, and I’ve never even mentioned PUA
          The only time I’ve spoken on the subject is when you guys attack it.
          Why is it so Important to you guys to try and discredit it?

      • Kimski

        ‘..to make them more successful in love…’

        I’m sorry, I might be wrong here, but wouldn’t that be akin to trying to dig half a hole??

        If you’re most likely to get a divorce with all the consequences thereof as an outcome, how would this change anything?
        That’s like saying ‘-Well, at least I was married longer than you, cause I knew Game’ ????

        It would STILL be a hole…

        • Muk

          I agree with you, but not every one has that jaded view on Marriage and Divorce that we do
          What I meant when I said that is that not everyone who becomes a PUA has the same goals in life. And I don’t think I’m wrong in my belief that most everyone wants someone to love and to love them back. The problem is that it’s so much of a risk these days that I’m not willing to take.
          until then, I’ll keep with the Pump and Dump until I find a woman worthy of more (and yet, still not marry)
          Or *maybe* marry, but without government involvement

          • Kimski

            I see where you’re coming from, but there’s a few things I’d like to point out, that hurts my eyes when reading your answer..

            First of all, as women are far, far ahead of men in instigating divorce filings, it should be quite apparent that it is not you nor I that have a jaded view on marriage. Futhermore, the way men are treated in such a divorce gives us every right to feel jaded about that particular subject, as our ‘rights’ equal nil.

            Secondly, I have no problem with the pump and dumping, even from a MGHOW standpoint, but there’s no way in hell that I’m going to chance my looks, the way I stand to look confident, or any other way in general to get there, when the one in charge of the pussy is acting like a spoiled brat.
            -Far too many women and not enough time for that.
            Next!

  • Tim Legere

    I wonder if women can recognize “Gamers” and “PUAs” a mile away? I suspect that they can based on women’s experiences and public information (e.g. on the internet). In the end I believe that they (women) would simply decide whether or not to respond to these methods (amusing or not). I have to agree with Paul … an honest and straight forward approach by men might be better received by women.

    • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

      I can confirm that women can and do recognize gamers in 99.99% of situations.

      I have sarged with hundreds of professional PUAs and then later interviewed the women.

      Every single woman mocked the gamer’s technique. They would stand around and joke about that “douchebag” who came around and tried stuff on them.

      The typical pattern I noticed in seeing all these hundreds of PUAs sarging was this…

      We’d be out, and the PUA would go and talk to like 30 women, and usually go home alone.

      Eventually on one night, he’d hook up with chick number 33 for the night, who we’d take to our place.

      Guess what? I interviewed the women the next day or later

      The woman will actually chuckle and laugh and tell you EXACTLY what the guy was doing and how it was “cute” that he was trying to game her. She will mock his game and what he attempted. She actually forgave his “game” and went with him in SPITE of the game crap, not because of it.

      She will tell you that she chose him when he walked into the door and liked him physically, he’s her type. She decided she wants to fuck him long before he even noticed her.

      In fact, she kept hovering and re-appearing near his proximity so he’d open her. SHE GAMED HIM.

      He however takes all credit

      He posts a big report about how he gamed a woman into submission with his magical jedi-powers…

      He does not mention that this is attempt 284, and the last 283 attempts led nowhere…

      • Whitney

        Alex,

        I do appreciate your exuberance, but you’re putting data points and statistics out there that couldn’t possibly exist unless you have detailed notes and a statistical analysis you’d like to provide to the group. I understand hyperbole and the personal validity of anecdotal situations, but come on!

        From hanging out with my old man I can confirm that he could literally make an old woman blush and a young girl squeal.

        • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

          From hanging out with my old man I can confirm that he could literally make an old woman blush and a young girl squeal.

          I’m pretty sure your father was not a professional PUA – which is what I talked about. We are discussing game as taught by the game-sphere.

          You keep trying to conflate “game” with good-old fashioned flirting-skills – which are not the same.

          Your way of using the word “game” allows gamers to keep getting away with their scam, because by using the word “game” for legitimate things, you are by proxy giving the pua scammers a cover.

          I do appreciate your exuberance, but you’re putting data points and statistics out there that couldn’t possibly exist unless you have detailed notes and a statistical analysis you’d like to provide to the group.

          That would be true if I gave a statistic like “67.5% of brunettes were affected by game”

          I however gave a statistic based on sarging with hundreds of PUAs and interviewing every single woman I could and finding the exact same result in every single case.

          For a statistic like “every single woman I ever interviewed” -> I do not need thorough notes. It is EVERY SINGLE WOMAN EVER – without a single exception.

          • Whitney

            But you did use the statistic that 99.99% of women can recognize game.

            And for what it’s worth, I refuse to change the nomenclature of Game. If some yahoo who can’t skate tries to teach skating, will you still refuse to see professional skaters as skating?

            PUA: If you walk into a room and ignore the pretty girls, they’ll line up to fuck you.

            You: That’s total bullshit and that shit doesn’t work!

            Paul: If you walk into a room and ignore the pretty girls, they’ll line up to fuck you.

            You: That’s so profound and absolutely NOT Game. It’s just common sense!

  • JGteMolder

    Every time I read ‘Gamer’, I think of someone who likes to play games; as in video games and board games.

    This is because I am one.

    Please stop calling PUAs ‘gamers’, it’s distracting, annoying, and unfairly puts a more positive spin on the pussy chasers than they deserve.

    • Paul Elam

      Do you have a suggestion for an alternative? I am open to it.

      • AntZ

        They sometimes call themselves the “seduction community.”

    • Kimski

      ‘Please stop calling PUAs ‘gamers’, it’s distracting, annoying, and unfairly puts a more positive spin on the pussy chasers than they deserve.’

      -Besides putting video-gamers in a very bad light.

      @Paul

      How about Droolers..?
      :)

      • JGteMolder

        I like Droolers!

  • Whitney

    Well put Paul. That was a genuine rebuttal of several false points put forward by Frost. I appreciate that you separated the PUA community from Game as the two are not necessarily the same.

    PUA’s have taken Game (an ubiquitous and admirable quality) and turned it into a series of anecdotal and skeezy lessons used to get tail. These bunch of Non-Scientists are trying to explain how man A gets girl A by mimicking man A. They don’t realize that mimicking != being.

    I learned more game from my Father and the words of Carlos Castaneda:
    I am already given to the power that rules my fate.
    And I cling to nothing, so I will have nothing to defend.
    I have no thoughts, so I will see.
    I fear nothing, so I will remember myself.
    Detached and at ease,
    I will dart past the Eagle to be free

    If you live like a warrior, you’ll become a warrior. You won’t change your destiny one bit, but you will have a better ride.

  • The Boar

    Boar laughs at this. So far, no valid points against Game have been made; only the usual shit-throwing of a shallow mind that happens all the time with various topics.

    I’m pro-game, but I could probably make better anti-game arguments that those presented so far (lol, game is for losers; those who study it are losers; omg they all suck, unlike us all-knowing MRA’s who are superior in all ways). For example, it’s easily observable to anyone with any basic knowledge of game theory that you bash outer game advocate by the likes of Mystery, while completely disregarding other styles like direct Game, the social principles behind Game, the reversing of the gender roles and so on (some of the topics that are covered in Game literature but not by Mystery).

    So far, the debate suffers from major fact-deficiency, and revolves around “my views are superior to yours because they are said by me, period”.

    However, it also remains to be seen what Frost will conjure up, so the Boar will focus his scrutinizing gaze upon his article next.

    • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

      Boar laughs at this.

      -> Is this the same Boar who calls the MRA “completely useless”

      -> Is this the same Boar who made a graphic calling MRAs “insane”?

      -> Is this the same Boar who admitted only learning about game a few months ago?

      -> Is this the same Boar who threatened leaving us several times but keeps coming back? Oh, it is :)


      To Quote WN Who Said:

      Paul Elam has decided to waste his time debating a gamer. I would have written that as a comment over at AVfM, but Paul Elam’s explaining that he can put the game issue to bed as far as AVfM is concerned after the debate told me it was pointless. Regardless of that, what will happen when the debate is over is that both sides will declare victory. Only a handful of people might be convinced one way or another.

      The problem with Paul Elam’s reasoning about this debate is that the gamers aren’t going away unfortunately. They keep threatening to leave the MRM alone. What the gamer said in the link above about Paul Elam easily reads like, “If you don’t start listening to us gamers, we’re going to leave. Seriously we’re going to leave. We’re going to leave anytime now. Come on. Start listening to us or else we’re going to leave soon. Really we’re going to leave.” I wish they would leave. They think we’re a bunch of angry losers. Fine, then go away, gamers. We want you to go away. But they won’t go away. This is because they don’t want to let go of what they think is a captive audience to sell their scam to.

      Unfortunately, the only way the gamers are leaving is at gunpoint.

    • Whitney

      Paul has made no such claim against game! His argument was about the ever widening rift between two philosophies that have very little to do with each other.

      My version of Game has nothing to do with Pussy Begging. It has everything to do with being who I am. Being a warrior I might take some pussy here and there, but I won’t beg for it anymore. I will not give up myself to please another person.

      You ever wonder why women are attracted to successful men? It is because they actually possess qualities that make them successful. They are warriors at heart and they would rather fall on their swords than go out pussy begging.

      • AntZ

        Whitney, you and I are mature adults. We have used elements of “game” to re-gain some measure of security and control over our own lives.

        The majority of “game” practitioners are young and reckless. Many wind up either thrown out of college or thrown into prison after a date goes bad.

        It is irresponsible for the PUA community to distribute hazardous tools without (i) warning of the dangers and (ii) advising the need to minimize exposure by minimizing contact with women.

        • Whitney

          Amen to that brother. That’s why I appreciate Paul separating Game from PUA.

        • zuismanm

          I think you are wrong here. Your conclusions are based on wrong basic assumption.
          You compare situation of young reckless males, going to hunt for some pussy under influence/instruction/supervision of PUA instructor/guru;
          to
          Situation that those males will remain at home or follow MGTOW celibacy path.
          But that is not the case. Second option will be that same young reckless males will go to hunt some pussy with any meaningless influence/instruction/supervision. And in those case I afraid – they will be in much more danger.
          Since :
          1. PUA GAME theory is based on disclosing of real hypergameous, manipulative nature of females. So PUA influenced young males are much more probable to be aware on real nature of females
          2. I suppose that not PUA instructors are clueless, dishonest charlatans. I suppose – there are plenty of such charlatans, but I hope – they are no majority.

          • AntZ

            @zuismanm,

            I have been thinking about what you say. You may be right.

            However, I think you are missing the point. You are comparing “unguided individual recklessness” to “PUA guided recklessness.” What SHOULD happen is for the PUA community to be mature enough to place risk management and safety issues front and centre in their agenda.

            I don’t care if PUA community adherents are 10% safer than general population. What I care about is that the PUA community has the wisdom and tools to virtually eliminate fase SA and false DV, and they choose not to teach these tools.

            It is not that hard. For example, even a relative noob like myself knows that a sense of entitlement is a huge warning sign of women who are likely to falsely accuse a man of DV or SA if the man does not meet the woman’s expectations for adequate financial commitment in return for intimacy.

            This is just one example — the knowledge base in the PUA community is vast. They should be able to assemble a fool-proof series of tests/observations to keep young men safe from false DV/ false SA accusations.

            The fact that the PUA community chooses not to put safety at the centre of their discourse demonstrates they have not grown into a mature self-help movement. Mature self-help movements are based on holistic measures of compassion (which would include serious consideration of court-mediated female revenge).

            In other words:

            I grant you that PUA advice may make young men safer than no advice.

            BUT … PUA advice clearly does not make young men as safe as they could.

            These professionals know everything about women. Surely, one of the most salient female characteristics is the kind of narcissistic vanity that can lead to false DV/false SA accusations. The toxic feminist indoctrination that leads to this attitude is easy to identify. Why not teach this? They have the tools. They just don’t care.

            This is very frustrating for MRAs. We are the mortuaries who receive victims of the court-mediated feminist misandry machine. It is frustrating to count body bags, to tally the lost lives and broken dreams. Meanwhile, the PUA community continues to feed young men to the beast, either ignorant or uncaring about the Armageddon that surrounds them.

            They can do better, and they must do better.

        • zuismanm

          Hi. In response to your last response to me :-).
          I agree, that it could be better if PUAs would be more “MRA oriented” and put more weight at awareness for DV and other legal risks presenting in male-female relationships.
          But once more – PUA as apolitical (in general) community is not committed to MRA issues. It could be great to “pull” them more into our side. That is what for political movements exists. But current tactics, chosen by Paul – of all around vocal assault does not seems to me to be step in right direction

          • AntZ

            Do you think that the PUA community would be open to a more robust approach to risk management? It seems like the shift in perspective is small and within reach. It would not seriously impact their overall mission.

            On some dark days, I feel like MRAs are the mortuaries of the sexual grievance industry. After the courts destroy a life, the body ends up here. It is up to us to revive, heal, and repair the damage. Only to see it all start again.

            I need to think that there is hope for an end to the feminist cycle of state-sponsored violence. The PUA community can help. But will they?

            I don’t know.

  • Rage Cascade

    Paul is absolutely bang on to be fair, the similarities between Game, PUA and MRM are superficial at best.

    And he is further right about the power of indifference. I’ve never been a gamer, ive gotten a decent amount of tail but until recently ive always had to work for it. Ive been a “pussy beggar” as others have sucinctly put it. And i; like most have had a ridiculously small success average. Maybe 1 in 40, possibly less. This results in a lot of effort, a lot of akward hookups and wasted money and time.

    I’ve recently returned to college, and because i have a girlfriend who i respect, and ive resolved never to cheat on a partner again, i have shown total indifference to the women (most of whom are extremely attractive with an average age of about 19) and as a result without even trying ive got a hot blonde russian chick pretty much on the hook, constantly wanting me to sit with her, flirting outrageously all the time. I’m not going to act on it. Because A: I’m behaving myself, and B: The less interest i take the more she seems to squirm. But the point is that women are as Whitney said, attracted to success. Success isnt a badge you wear on your jacket, its identified by a set of behaviours that single you out as important, as having a lot going on, and having many many options. A successful man would never take undue interest in a woman, he doesnt need to, there will be one available when he wants one. Thats why women are attracted to indifference. It suggests that he doesnt NEED them, and if he doesnt need them, it suggests he has attributes that provide him with all he needs. By any societies measure, that is success.

    • Whitney

      Is she looking over your shoulder now? :)

  • Rage Cascade

    :P Nah she’s at the gym, to be honest there is a third reason i’ve decided not to penetrate the iron curtain.

    As men we spend most of our lives being told how inadequate we are, and laughed at by women when we try to chase tail. I’m 25 now and while i still enjoy coitus, it doesn’t have the all encompassing importance it once did.

    As a result, the ongoing fawning attention that i continue to bask in every time she tries to get my approval is FAR more pleasurable than a quick furtive fumble followed by months of guilt.

    I like to think that im slowly repaying the debt for every woman i desperately fawned over in my mangina days.

  • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

    The terms of this debate are still poorly formed. I’d have liked to see a concise sentence that defined the debate topic.

    Anyway, Paul’s article rails on PUAs. But which PUAs is he talking about? Where do they hang out in the virtual world? Do they have anything to do with Roissy – what with the Cheateau Bullshit reference that got all of this started in the first place?

    If you want to find some guy saying something ill-formed or idiotic on the internet, well, you turn into David Futrelle.

    This is going to be a debate over the value placed on women and sex. It will have nothing at all to do with Men’s Rights, we should disabuse ourselves of that notion. This isn’t a rights issue, it is a “how do you spend your time and what are your interests” issue. And my attitude towards that question is basically “none of your business”.

    • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

      Analogy of your sentence:

      “Anyway, Paul’s article rails on Feminists. But which feminists is he talking about? Where do they hang out in the virtual world? Do they have anything to do with TGMP – what with the TGMP Bullshit reference that got all of this started in the first place?”

      Fidelbogen has written much on how feminism always has fuzzy-borders so as to prevent criticism and never have to take responsibility for anything. It’s amorphous shape is always shifting and morphing.

      Gamers do the same. Any criticism of what gamers do is met with “Not my type of game, that’s other gamers”.

      “Not my type of feminism, that’s other feminists who do that”.

      Same thing…

      • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

        lol. Same logic can be applied to MRA/MGTOW or pretty much any group being discussed. Are you serious with these childish analogies?

        If you want to compare something to feminism you might want to start with MRAs. MRAs are fighting for men’s rights just as feminists fought for women’s rights. Depending on whether they are traditionalist or more new age, MRAs discuss the proper roles of men in society just as feminists constantly debate what women should do.

        If this is the level of discourse that you engage can I ask that you refrain from responding to my comments here? I’d rather debate the un-lame.

    • Paul Elam

      Nonsense, GL.

      Let me remind you what happened here. I wrote a brief opinion piece about Game/PUA. I used a word “chateau,” that is widely recognized as iconic of those realms in the title. Next thing I know there is the wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth, with all kinds of indignant and hostile reaction in response opinions, as though I had committed some sort of sacrilege.
      I got challenged to a debate, and I responded in the affirmative.

      At this point, what I have to go on; the only thing I have to go on, is Frosts objections as they were stated in his “challenge.”

      While you are quite correct that it is literally none of my business how much interest you or anyone else wants to put on anything, that is hardly the point.

      It is also literally none of my business whether anyone wants to get married, but we have now probably 20 or more articles on this site eschewing marriage. It is even, along with denouncing chivalry, in our mission statement.

      It’s many of our opinions that those institutions, along with chasing belt notches with mindless abandon, is a set up for men to wind up in the jaws of feminist governance.

      OK, so that is none of my business. Neither is lung cancer, so should I never tell people that I think smoking is a bad idea?

      Dude, you can make a much better argument than this.

      • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

        Paul,

        The debate is poorly formed, and it isn’t necessarily your fault or Frost’s. I just think that somehow, somewhere you guys forgot to nail down the central question of what is being debated. Since you haven’t this is going to be nothing but a shit show with each side taking pot shots at their chosen targets – ones hand-picked for the ease with which they’ll be shot down.

        And we see that in your comment that I’m responding to here. Now it’s about Game leading men down a road to perdition because tangling with women is a bad idea. Well my particular reading of Game (the Roissy branch) teaches me how to get something that I want (sex) with minimal costs (in both monetary and psychological terms) – something that MRA has absolutely nothing of value to offer me. MRA as it teaches men about women is entirely reactionary. Not to say that it isn’t of value – sometimes we have to react to women’s poor behavior and immorality. But what about the events leading up to the thing requiring reaction? Game handles this part. A critique of Game is not a critique leveled by MRAs; it is a critique leveled by men who disapprove of the way that men choose to lead their lives. And, yeah, where are your posts railing against smoking?

        So you posit that men are screwing themselves in this endeavor, but you just jump straight to that premise without even backing it up. The way I figure, you have the “normal” way that men operate in relationships i.e. W.F. Price’s way (not to disparage him; he just learned the hard way). Then you have a taught response to those potential pitfalls. MGTOW and Gamers offer different ways to address those pitfalls. But as I read your original piece, I don’t read you as being critical of Game and PUA because of those potential pitfalls that men might face by becoming entangled with women. I read you as just not liking Game qua Game. So which is it? Again, I’m having trouble figuring out exactly what the central focus of this debate is.

        • Paul Elam

          Central points of the debate for me:

          Game and PUA, being focused on scoring with indifference that borders on ignorance to now common perils associated with heterosexual sex, are both a set up for practitioners to step on a mine.

          Game and PUA are dangerously incomplete and useless (subjectivity on “useless” stipulated) paradigms because they only use sociobiology to understand women well enough to aid in bedding them, and don’t apply the same knowledge to understanding men or themselves at all.

          There is actually a lot more, but there you go, does this give you something you can sink your teeth into? Because if it doesn’t, I can’t help you. I assure you though, there are already plenty of readers on both sides of the argument that understand what is being debated here.

          All I am really seeing from you so far translates into “It is my opinion that you should not have an opinion.” As much as I never imagined saying this to you, you are doing a really poor job of making a point of your point.

          • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

            all i’m seeing from you Paul is a defeatist attitude that any sort of entanglement with women automatically leads to shitty outcomes. maybe for *you* and for some MRA/MGTOWers, but you’ve done jack shit in the way of proving that Game or PUA will lead to poor outcomes for x% of men who practice it. and what i am saying to you, which you continue to ignore, is that a lot of what Game teaches men is how to avoid these pitfalls. as in, Game is proactive whereas MRA/MGTOW is entirely reactive. you guys literally don’t want to play “the Game” because you’re afraid you’ll get hurt. if you don’t want to act out of fear, then that is your prerogative. but roissy has done more than *any other* men’s issues writer in illuminating how best to play the Game while not falling into its traps.

            so if we’re talking about who is making poor arguments, you are making your arguments based upon pre-determined outcomes.

          • zuismanm

            Game and PUA are dangerously incomplete and useless (subjectivity on “useless” stipulated) paradigms because they only use sociobiology to understand women well enough to aid in bedding them, and don’t apply the same knowledge to understanding men or themselves at all.
            ________________________________________
            That is 100% right. And that is exactly a reason – why MRA is social/political movement and PUA – is not.

      • zuismanm

        Hmmm…
        So – form one side
        [i]While you are quite correct that it is literally none of my business how much interest you or anyone else wants to put on anything, that is hardly the point.[/i]
        But:
        [i]but we have now probably 20 or more articles on this site eschewing marriage[/i]

        Of cause we do not speak here about marriage , since no MRA and no PUA are enthusiastic about it, but about pussy bagging/celibacy promotion/ whatever else.
        So, Paul finally do you actually attempt to promote celibacy (for some strange reasons that I fail to understand), or what are finally trying to say?
        Your claim that gaming put mails in high risk is obviously wrong. Sex put males in risk. At moment you get pussy, whatever ways/tricks/whatever you used to get it – you at risk(rape accusations, “occasional”pregnancy and so on).
        So let put it straight – any heterosexual male that practice sex with females – put himself in risk. Way that he used to get female in his bed is totally irrelevant. If you are aware of pitfalls of relationships with female , you can try to minimize risk. But it is of no importance which technique you used to seduce her.
        The only way to avoid those risks (also not 100%) is total celibacy…
        All the rest is just rubbish

        • Paul Elam

          Game = increased sex. Sex is risk. So, Game = increased risk.

          And no, I do not promote celibacy at all. I do promote consciousness of risk factors where sex is involved, including the skills to weed our high risk women, and not have sex with them.

          And I agree, the only way to totally maximize risk reduction is celibacy, but I do think that life always involves some amount of risk.

          For instance, marriage, IMO, is too risky for men, any way you slice it (no offense to you married guys) but with proper skills sex itself can be taken to manageable risk levels with some intelligence and information.

          Game could have and should have evolved to those conclusions, and pursued studies along those lines. It didn’t. It stayed mired in pussyism at all costs.

          • Whitney

            Game gets you more business opportunities.
            Game gets you that promotion you want.
            Game sells cars.

            I agree with your disagreement of PUA’s, but game can be learned from Toastmasters. The particular application of Game as espoused by the PUA community is disingenuous at best and hazardous at worst.

          • zuismanm

            Ok. Probably I am not too educated on whole PUA community issues , but when I have gone to Roissy site I have seen plenty of references about manipulative females nature and perversions of modern legal issues on everything related to inter sex relationships… Same I saw on some site named “alpha dominance” or something like that.
            So – at least Gamers blogs that I visited – were quite explicit and bold on those issues…
            But any way as I see it – PUA are providers/promoters of some specific technique of gaining sex. They are not political movement dedicated to improve social/political situation in large. MRA are (or at least pretend/attempt to be) such movement. That is why PUA are not supposed to fight for large scale social and legal changes. That is a job of MRA

          • zuismanm

            By the way I think – this is exactly wrong statement:
            _______________________________________
            Game = increased sex.
            _______________________________________
            Game is way to gain sex (one of possible ways) and manage psychological warfare that always present on such or other measure in male-female relationship . You can use it to become sex addict. (but you can become one also with no even knowing about GAME)
            You can use it to manage your marriage (if you already there). Or you can use it for something else(for example prevent females manipulation on you and minimize price you pay for sex). It is up to you…

          • AntZ

            “And no, I do not promote celibacy at all. I do promote consciousness of risk factors where sex is involved, including the skills to weed our high risk women, and not have sex with them …”

            Man, I wish I could write as well as Paul does. I used 1000 words to say the same thing :)

            The cavalier attitude towards the risks taken by others is transforming the PUA community into a liability to men — especially young men.

          • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

            Transportation = increased mobility. Increased mobility = increased risk. Transporation = increased risk.

            You’d rather stay indoors; I’ll read up on how to better drive in traffic.

  • ghebert

    Couldn’t have said it better myself. Getting random snatch is not the be-all, end-all of life as a man. The sooner men start realizing that there are more important things in life than being the next pop-collared d-bag with a different woman in his bed every night, the sooner they can start getting some satisfaction out of life.

  • BeijaFlor

    @ Alek Novy (#comment-70723)

    “invented to get the student feeling insecure and lacking and buying more game and studying more game. Just the same technique scientology uses.”

    You do get it! Are you sure you weren’t once a scientologist? :D

    • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

      You do get it! Are you sure you weren’t once a scientologist?

      I’m actually a sociologist. I’ve studied cults and propaganda, and I’ve studied the most famous uses of it.

      I’ve also worked as a marketer and studied under some of the same guys that Eben Pagan did.

      -L Ron Hubbard was a GENIUS marketer
      -As was Eben Pagan in creating the “game movement”

      • BeijaFlor

        -L Ron Hubbard was a GENIUS marketer
        -As was Eben Pagan in creating the “game movement”

        You have got THAT right on LRH. Scientology coasts on, more than 25 years after his death.

        I dunno about Eben Pagan; however, the last book I read on “Game” was Eric Weber’s “How To Pick Up Girls.”

        Cheers,
        BeijaFlor

        • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

          I dunno about Eben Pagan; however, the last book I read on “Game” was Eric Weber’s “How To Pick Up Girls.”

          Well, take into consderation that L Ron Hubbard started scientology many, many decades ago.

          The game movement is only a decade old, and it already has something like 50-60 million people in it.

          You might not be reading game, but gamers will make sure you are pounded with “the message of game” wherever you go.

          Look around you, we are being pestered and prosletyzed by gamers left and right. I’d (dare) say Eben might have been almost as effective as Hubbard.

  • http://truthjusticeca.wordpress.com/ Denis

    I would have preferred if Paul “got personal” and addressed Chateau Heartiste’s and Frost’s version of game rather than still dealing in generalities. What makes Ferdinand any different?

    I like Marc Rudov’s version but he’s no pussy beggar. He’s trying to make some money but I don’t consider him to be a snake oil salesman or giving men bad advice.

    Marketability is important, especially to younger audiences. An older man talking about ignoring women to get women isn’t going to get much attention from a majority of younger men who feel like they are invisible to women. I don’t care if young men spend their free time playing video games or trying to get laid, I’m more concerned that they know the risks involved and make their choices wisely.

    I hope Frost actually explains game and it’s variants rather than trying to stereotype the MRM.

    • Paul Elam

      But this is not just an examination of Heartiste and Frost. It is a trending overview.

      My examination of most all of the Game and PUA perspectives, from a variety of websites pretty much boils down to the same stuff everywhere.

      Perhaps one mistake I made was to reference Roissy in the headline of the OP. Like I said, I did that because he is iconic, but not because it is about him in particular.

      • http://truthjusticeca.wordpress.com/ Denis

        I just don’t see much value to generalizations or even arguing about generalizations. If it’s so common place then pick a target (Roissy, Frost or whoever) and deal with specifics and quotations.

        A lot of people have different interpretations of game and that is adding to the confusion.

  • http://www.cyclotronmajesty.net CyclotronMajesty

    Damn, u laid it down Paul. I agree with your approach as well, rather than discussing the strategy you use, I mean the implications that you can find your own way with women, by using your own grey matter, and trying new things. PUA, would insist you plan and make so many stupid preparations that not only put you at a disadvantage at the get go, but contribute to a obsessive compulsiveness idolatry of women. Which IMHO appears to be very much the zeitgeist’s obsession for the past hundred years at least.

    Once human society reaches a point of stagnation, women get the center position as past-time and end goal to everything including existence itself, and society begins to disintegrate.

    The same with human personalities, if you are a gynocentrist, you probably have largely neglected the totality of who you are. Orbiting your life around women, and pussy creates strife and vice that is the cause of all human misery.

  • Paul Elam

    @ GL Piggy

    “all i’m seeing from you Paul is a defeatist attitude that any sort of entanglement with women automatically leads to shitty outcomes”

    That is because you are being transparently selective, and given I have some idea of your level of intelligence, possibly a bit less than honest. I don’t mistake you for obtuse or stupid.

    Copy from above

    “Just for the record I am almost 10 years into a relationship with a woman. I have never advocated, for or against, celibacy”

    And also for the record, GL, entanglements with women often DO lead to shitty outcomes, or are you ignoring that as well? That’s quite the point of all this, isn’t it? Or as I said above:

    “Where PUA fails, and fails at its most miserable, is that it only invests enough in the understanding of Evo-psych to result in a shot of leg. And they invest even less in the reasonable understanding that tail no longer comes without some serious risks that demand any rational man look way past potential notches on his belt.”

    Should I just copy the entire OP and put it in the comments?

    See, this is exactly my point about people who defend Game, etc. with such religious fervor. No one here is saying men should not get laid, just that the way the preponderance of the way Game advocates and PUA approach the subject involves a lot of risk denial.

    And your best shot is to characterize that as a call to celibacy?

    Fuck sake, someone please tell me Frost will do a better job than this.

    • Paul Elam

      Oh, and let me add here, GL, I had a nice conversation a year or so back here with a Gamer. I asked him a question about how he could count on Game to protect him during a divorce.

      He said, and this is an approximate quote, “If your game is good she won’t try to take your shit. And you can always Game the judge.”

      Please do point me to all the Game articles that specialize in risk reduction. I have been through about 50-60 articles lately and what I saw was ALL about getting pussy, and getting pussy only. Once recent favorite was on bagging fembots.

      Imagine the thrill for me.

      • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

        Paul,

        you’re already shifting the goal posts of this debate. now it’s about “risk-reduction” when you started out by saying that Gamers were “shit eaters”. you’re all over the map here.

        i’m a pseudo-Game, pseudo-MRA site; I’ve written about the pitfalls of false rape, child custody, misandry, etc. Roissy covers that stuff too.

        most of the Game stuff is based on the guiding principle which greatly diminishes risk: don’t get a woman pregnant! everything follows from that.

        a large rift between “my” side and yours is that you’ve assumed that the pregnancy and/or the crappy marriage is a forgone conclusion. but you can’t really posit that as a certain outcome. if you do then you’ve engaged in a completely different debate based upon a different premise.

        • Paul Elam

          you’re already shifting the goal posts of this debate. now it’s about “risk-reduction” when you started out by saying that Gamers were “shit eaters”. you’re all over the map here.

          No, you’re just not keeping up with the score. That passing shit tests is a form of eating the same isn’t really up for debate. You can read, and I am 100% certain you have, a lot of stuff on Game/PUA sites about passing shit tests. In other words, proving your male worthiness by reacting in the right way to the shit she is dealing out.

          God, man, that isn’t even up for debate here. It’s a given. The only reason a PUA doesn’t taste the shit in his mouth is because the smell of the pussy overwhelms his senses.

          • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

            Gamers set out a certain goal, a particular woman let’s say. Just as men set goals in all other areas of life. The man may be confronted with a shit test of some sort. If he’s a “regular” guy he’ll play into the shit test and fail miserably. Or he can learn about what a shit test looks like and avoid it or skirt around it on future occasions. Learning how to avoid this pitfall is the same as learning how to avoid any other pitfall in any other undertaking in life. You’d have men either behave as they always have or just avoid approaching these women in the first place. But men want to get laid, and women are much less likely to do the approaching. So if men want something, and why is this surprising?, they have to act. If they must act, they might as well act correctly.

          • zatarra

            I look at passing shit tests as learning a skill that increases the quality of life. You wouldn’t say “don’t learn proper english because that is just buying into other people’s BS”.

            The ability to pass shit tests increases the quality of a relationship whether long or short term. The woman secretly wants you to pass the tests. That is the point of it. She is testing you.

            You could say “don’t take the damn test” but that misses the point. Woman are psychologically pre-programmed to test men. Some men pass those tests without learning game–alpha males. Some need to learn to mimic these men. I needed to learn to do it, as do most men.

        • Paul Elam

          ” you’ve assumed that the pregnancy and/or the crappy marriage is a forgone conclusion.”

          Nope, just a very real risk. But you already know that I have said that about a dozen times now for clarity. You are here obfuscating what I have actually said because you can’t ague against it.

          Gettin lamer, Gamer.

          • Whitney

            Maybe Alex and GL should have at it? They are the exact opposites on the spectrum.

      • keyster

        “Once recent favorite was on bagging fembots.”

        Yeah, so like, I’m hip to women’s rights and all that, I mean like guys can be real jerks, but you know like I really respect women as people, ’cause they’re actually like a lot smarter than most guys I know. You seem really smart. My name’s “E-Quality”. So like what’s your name?

      • jaytheman

        Its like teaching someone to drive without also teaching them the concept of defensive driving. Learning how to turn on the car, drive in a straight line and park is the easiest part. The hard part is learning how to avoid all of the dangers that driving creates and how to avoid the other assholes on the road. In that aspect then PUA’s are teaching young men how to drag race before they even teach them how to look in your blind spot.

    • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

      “That is because you are being transparently selective, and given I have some idea of your level of intelligence, possibly a bit less than honest. I don’t mistake you for obtuse or stupid.”

      You call me less than honest for being “transparently selective” when you yourself are cherry-picking those instances where men do get screwed by their entanglements with women? If I’m being selective then you are being selective as well, no? Are you even trying to understand my point? Men get screwed over by women. MRA/MGTOW is a response to having been screwed over by women. PUA can often be a young man’s folly whereby men just walk haphazardly into a mine field. Game, on the other hand, accepts that there is some sort of value in having sex and interacting with women and it attempts to optimize the endeavor.

      You have constructed an agrument where it is certain that men will get screwed by interacting with women in this way. This is defeatist, and it doesn’t have to happen this way. Actually learning how to handle fire i.e. Game is a man’s best bet, especially when it is in his DNA to fuck with said fire.

      As was part of my opening comment on this piece, why are you even discussing PUAs when you never really set out to distinguish between PUAs or Game? You started with PUAs in order to frame this as a debate purely on the merits of PUA. Which, again, shows the limitations of this debate. You invoked Roissy. You claim that this was because he was “iconic” which I now see as you wanting to backpedal from you initial attitude on the subject. Here I thought the debate was going to be an MRA critique of Game as taught by guys like Roissy – not PUAs who occupy some outpost of some forum somewhere deep in the nether regions of the internet.

  • keyster

    I agree the majority of women have already made up there minds that they’ll gift you with vaginal access long before any “Game” begins. The techniques only serve those that might sub-consciously talk their way out of her original attraction for them.

    Women are on to game; but if you appeal to her she might reward you for your efforts, all the while pretending she was none the wiser. In other words they game the gamer into deluding himself into thinking he’s “got game”. Whereas all she ever really wanted was to get laid that night.

  • rexxthunder

    As much as I love boobies, and I do, I’m reading this at work. I like this site a lot and I’d hate to have to deem this site not work safe for my coworkers sake. Something to think about.

    • Paul Elam

      Very good point. I am removing the image.

      • Whitney

        :(

  • zatarra

    Paul,

    You rightfully point out the rift between PUA’s and MRA’s, but you gloss over the rift within the PUA movement.

    When I began studying the PUA information everything about me changed. It was not just to pick up women. My confidence increased, my ability to deal with all people increased. I used PUA techniques to transform myself. Look at the book recommendations within the PUA movement– “48 Laws of Power” type books are a big part of it as well as books on body language.

    Some people use the techniques for short term pussy gain. Others use the techniques more broadly. Roissy has several posts on LTR game and how the techniques used for pickup must be used post pickup.

    I would even submit that even the short term pussy seekers have benefited more broadly. They have better understanding of human behavior, use body language to their advantage, and are quick to pass the shit test.

  • Codebuster

    I can confirm that women can and do recognize gamers in 99.99% of situations. I have sarged with hundreds of professional PUAs and then later interviewed the women.

    @AlekNovy

    I call bullshit. If you’re going to be scientific about this, then show us your stats. The graphs. What levels of significance are you using? Did you get it published? Or is it just an opinion? So you asked women what they thought. How did you ask them – individually or a group? How did you come across – white and nerdy or cool and confident? Did you record their responses? What variables did you address? Time, place? I know, I know, you’ve done all this in your head, and you implicity trust your sources. But that doesn’t count as science… or rather, it counts like the sort of scientific research that feminists would conduct… you know, opinions, feeyalings, yadda yadda.

    Something bothered me about your “definitive study” approach debunking Game, in the previous incarnation of this topic, and here you are going at it again. I didn’t have time to respond then, so let me take this opportunity to respond more fully now. You know, where you half-jokingly suggest that men go to a university to “see for themselves” by accousting every female student on campus and then observe the results. To begin with, to even contemplate that sort of approach is poor form and bad karma. It’s neither scientific nor falsifiable. It does, however, come across as desperate.

    As much as I hate the concept (game) myself as it is marketed, there is game that is well-executed, meaning a methodology employed by someone who understands how women tick, whether or not he’s heard of the commercialized word “game”. And there is game that is poorly-executed, meaning a bag of tricks employed by a performing seal who hasn’t either class or a clue. A thousand performing seals with neither class nor clue, sent on a mission, are indeed going to bore the bejesus out of a lot of women, and they are indeed going to report back with glum faces and average results in accordance with what you suggest.

    If you go accosting every female university student in an American university without recognizing the different stereotypes that they prioritize, you are indeed destined to universally mediocre outcomes. This sort of experimentation is not falsifiable, because it is not clear what kind of cultural stereotype you are projecting, and whether or not it is consistent. Why should we buy into the results of this kind of experiment? Again, I call bullshit. Are you coming across as a smooth Italian, an intense Slav, a cool Swede, an ethnic Latino, or just a desperado? Also, you poison yourself. There is something about doing this kind of thing that is harmful to the psyche, no matter how objective and rigorous you might think you are. You are closing your mind off to the very important but subtle cues that really do matter to women. If it’s not fun, then you’re not doing it right.

    There is nothing magical about game (as I define it, which is clearly different to how you define it). All it is is understanding the cultural stereotypes that women prioritize in men. Women notice “types” of men and these “types” are the cultural stereotypes that women prioritize. Call it commonsense, call it old-fashioned flirting, or call it game. I don’t care what you call it. But it is immensely helpful to men (and women) to understand the source of women’s motivations, and why they make the choices they do. Mock Roissy if you want, but many of his insights on women are the best I’ve seen.

  • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

    I have to scoff at this new-fangled sentiment on the part of many of you MRAs here who act as if you only care about the potential risk-factors that men assume when learning about Game and/or PUA. If that were the case I’d expect to see a bunch of articles here at AVfM and at other pro-MRA sites about men using condoms. But we don’t see that. Instead it’s all about being extra cautious when dealing with women – sometimes to the point of avoiding them altogether.

    As it stands, you’re merely shifting the goalposts which was the initial shortcoming of this debate in that the topic has not been explicitly defined.

    • Paul Elam

      Ah yes, that’s the ticket. We will go places where no one has gone before by telling men to use condoms.

      Nancy Reagan and “Just say no to drugs” have nothing on that master plan. lol.

      Funny me, here, I assume most men are not morons and know about condoms, and perhaps think the better approach is to educate them about Child support issues, which involve things like stealing discarded condoms, etc, paternity fraud, and the like.

      Hey guys, forget all that and just wrap that rascal. After all, a woman can’t take you to the cleaners if you’re not actually the father, right?

      • Kimski

        ‘After all, a woman can’t take you to the cleaners if you’re not actually the father, right?’

        Ok, so no need for these…

        http://www.cytomation.com/

        I’m just wondering, why they’re selling so many of them, then…?

        • Kimski

          Oops! -That was of course meant as a reply to r.l.piggy by way of the answer from Paul.
          My mistake for not pointing this out.

    • keyster

      “If that were the case I’d expect to see a bunch of articles here at AVfM and at other pro-MRA sites about men using condoms.”

      We tried to bring Trojan on as a sponsor but they claimed our narrative was too misogynist.

      The following public service announcment is brought to you by AVfM:

      Guys remember, when picking up strange women in trendy night spots, ALWAYS use a condom before proceeding with any penetrative exploits.

  • Jeremiah

    Some of the concepts you talked about in the YouTube video you linked are key Game concepts: appearing busy, making excuses to talk to others, demonstrating social value by engaging in conversation with others, appearing confident even when you’re not.

    • Jeremiah

      Also of note is that in your example, it took time for the women to approach you. It’s a different scenario than picking up women for one-nighters at a bar. In the end, the goal is still the same: get pussy. You might get some satisfaction, and retain more dignity, out of being able to say “they came to me”, but you also are going after a different crowd. The young bar crowd vs a (perhaps older?) social group? It’s always going to be easier to get women when they feel like they know you, like you’re acquaintances – and the PUA seeks to speed things along by making women feel like they know you, for example by going to another venue so that the girl thinks of it as your first date.

    • Jeremiah

      I would have edited my comment but it was just taking too long to come up.

      So basically, Game concepts have value, though it would be best to educate men at the same time about the right type of women to look for, and the dangers women bring, rather than just always looking for the hottest bitch at the clubs.

    • Paul Elam

      Yep, and that was written as an example of a man going out on the pussy hunt. But it is only 1/2 the story and the other half is very important. I think I have pointed this out already. The value of what I did was not that it got me laid. In fact, I already knew how to do that well enough, but in that it also gave the the ability to much better observe and screen. Tune in tonight.

      • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

        Alek takes out a crystal ball to predict how gamers will respond to Paul’s story.

        “Omg paul, see you were practicing game!! Omg, paul you practiced game! See, you were a gamer without even knowing it”. Paul you were a natural!!!

        This comes out of a marketing concept that DeAngelo invented – called “the natural”

        Seeing that billions of guys around the world get laid without having to resort to any of the bullshit that DeAngelo teaches – he had to figure out a way to get gamers stuck to the cult for a while longer.

        This is why he invented the marketing concept called “naturals”. This concept says…


        “guys who get laid without studying my products and 2342 steps are “naturals”. They actually DO in fact perform all these 2342 steps, but they do them unconsciously!!! Therefore, if you want to get laid like naturals, you need to consciously study these 2342 steps… Buy now, only 299$…

  • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

    Summary of Gamer’s worldview gathered from these comments and their blog responses to Paul


    -> We gamers are allowed to generalize about MRAs and point out what we believe are negative trends in MRA, in fact we’ve been doing it for years, amoging and ridiculing MRAs at every chance
    .
    -> MRAs may not generalize about us, or find negative trends in game, in fact, the first time it happens we will throw a hissy fit and demand that MRAs be kind to us and like and love us “for the sake of unity” you see

    +++


    -> MRAs need to promote, link to and talk about game in MRA spaces, in fact it is their duty
    .
    -> It’s perfectly fine that gamers never bring up MRA issues in gamer spaces

    +++


    -> MRAs may not give judgement or opinions on getting laid, because only we gamers are the only authority on the subject and understand it
    .
    -> We gamers however may give opinions on whether the MRA is doing it’s job right or not

    .
    .

    Do I go on, or do you guys get the pattern?

    • Whitney

      I don’t see where anyone said MRAs must link to and talk about game in MRA spaces. I think it is just fine that Gamers don’t bring up MRA issues.

      You’re unnecessarily hostile to Game. I understand your hostility to PUA’s and the entire meme, but God, you’ve got the biggest hard-on for Game I’ve ever seen. Even the fembots aren’t so vehement about it.

      • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

        I don’t care whether Gamers advertise for the MRA or not.

        I do however want them to stop coming into MRA circles and selling game to everyone and evangelizing and demand that the MRA cater to them.

        • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

          and where does that happen Novy? name names of blogs or instances where Gamers infiltrate MRA sites and try to “sell” Game.

          • Grey Knight

            See below. Sales pitches are all over the place, too.

      • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

        i just listened to Elam’s You Tube recording. How is what was related there any different than what Roissy writes about?

        Paul went to a club for the *purpose* of having women gain attraction for him. He says it was some sort of experiement, but then he talks about the woman he “secretly had his eye on”. And Paul stumbled upon a particular tactic that often works very well – one that has worked for me and is often espoused by Roissy and other Game writers. Aloofness, social proof, etc. These are powerful tools towards getting women, but at the end of it Paul himself, the guy decrying pussy-centrism, is a pussy-centrist too.

        • Paul Elam

          Was. Tune in tonight. :)

  • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

    @Paul Elam, in reference to G.L.Piggy

    This guy is not debating you in good faith. On his blog he has completely misrepresented you and your stances.

    He isn’t merely “confused”, he is very deliberately misrepresenting both you and MRA as a whole.

    • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

      how so alek? i argued against Paul’s very clear cut statements. “Cheateau Bullshit” implies a direct link to the type of Game that he disagrees with – even while Roissy has done the most to combine men acting towards a specific goal that men are wired to want – pussy – and an awareness of how not to fall prey to it.

      so who is Paul tilting at? he still hasn’t said.

      also in comments at IMF Paul quotes the blog “What Women Think of Men” and attributes an anti-MRA sentiment to Roissy, but Paul was sloppy and didn’t read through to the links. Roissy defended MRAs against someone else positing that MRAs are whiners.

      All that being said, my main argument is that Game serves men well in their dealings with women. It is a form of Red Pill and can help men in not falling victim to some of the pitfalls that are often discussed. MRA and MGTOW is a reaction to those pitfalls.

      Understanding shit tests is not the same as eating shit. It is obviously a deflection of said shit, but Paul has a flair for dramatic imagery.

      • Whitney

        In all respect, Alek Novy had the best response to shit tests:

        “I refuse to respond to this shit-test!”

        He’s a natural.

        • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

          why does Novy even legitimize the concept of shit tests by acknowledging that they exist? i either ignore the shit test, outwit her, or make fun of the chick in a roundabout way, but not because i want to fuck her at that point but because it satisfies my dark passenger. if a dude tries to play the dozens with me i’ll go head-to-head with him too. if Novy responds with “i don’t respond to shit tests”, well he’s just responded to a shit test.

          • Harry

            g. l, thats quite funny. Aleknovy WALKS AWAY when a girl shit tests. You are so used to seeing everything as a *tactic* that you interpret *not responding to a shit test* in terms of a tactic, as if he SAYS that to the girl. No, not responding means ENDING the interaction.

            You have an essentially other-centric view. Snap out of it.

            So, you ignore the shit test but still stick around? You mean you have just been insulted and dont respond and still stick around? Interesting.

            You *outwit* the girl who has just insulted you? Why would you continue interacting with a girl who has just been a bitch to you?

            You make fun of a chic who was a bitch to you, but not because you want to fuck her? WTF does that have to do with Game? Game is about *getting* girls. Besides, why would you continue interacting with a girl who has just been a bitch to you?

    • Harry

      Have you ever met a gamer who argues in good faith? When the point of game is to uphold cognitive dissonance it is impossible to argue in good faith. The very point is to deny admitting 2 plus 2 equals 4 through word-twisting. Inmalafide has a few threads right now that are fantastic examples of this.

      • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

        g. l, thats quite funny. Aleknovy WALKS AWAY when a girl shit tests. You are so used to seeing everything as a *tactic* that you interpret *not responding to a shit test* in terms of a tactic

        In the pussy-centric world of the gamer, everything is a tactic to get pussy.

        It is outside the gamer’s reality to even imagine having self-referential values and integrity.

        This is why when a gamer sees Alek walk away from a bitchy bitch – the gamer calls Alek a “natural”. No you dumbtards, I’m walking away coz I don’t want anything to do with that bitch. The fact that some of the time the bitch comes running around and apologizing is completely coincidental.

  • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

    i just listened to Elam’s You Tube recording. How is what was related there any different than what Roissy writes about?

    Paul went to a club for the *purpose* of having women gain attraction for him. He says it was some sort of experiement, but then he talks about the woman he “secretly had his eye on”. And Paul stumbled upon a particular tactic that often works very well – one that has worked for me and is often espoused by Roissy and other Game writers. Aloofness, social proof, etc. These are powerful tools towards getting women, but at the end of it Paul himself, the guy decrying pussy-centrism, is a pussy-centrist too.

    • Harry

      I hate to say it, but in a way this is true. Honesty where honesty is due. We need to be honest and admit when a gamer makes a legitimate point. We are better than gamers who are too insecure to admit anything that goes against their position.

      *Aloofness* as a tactic just brings you right back into the pussy-centric mindset.

      To the extent that Paul says being indifferent to women will GET you women, he is pussy-centric. Although the vast majority of what Paul says is against this idea, it is an interesting example of how the pesky little idea of it being your job to *get* women has this way of creeping back into the mindset of the best of us.

      This is a great illustration of why the very IDEA of *tactics* needs to be seen as illegitimate. As long as you accept that ANYTHING is acceptable to *make* women like you, even being aloof, you open the floodgates for game ideas to start creeping back in, and you are back in pussy-begging, pussy-centric land.

      • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

        Harry,

        Almost all men want pussy. This is by design. So if men want pussy then why should they not learn how to get the thing that they want by learning how to get the most bang for their literal and figurative buck? People bone up on tactics on how to get the best car for the lowest price and on the best terms. Are they wrong for doing so?

        Acting aloof comes natural to some men. To some men it is natural because they have other options. What a nice position to be in, right? But other men aren’t so lucky. You are suggesting something common among feminists and other kumbayaists: you’re perfect just the way you are!

        Some men also have to swallow the proverbial Red Pill. They’ve come up thinking that they need to be the opposite of aloof – as in, they are taught to be actively non-aloof. That becomes their default setting. So men have to rewire their thinking and learn the power of aloofness. Through practice and perspective, they come to adhere to this concept.

        • Harry

          G.L, I get that you want sex. I do too. But why are you willing to lower yourself to get it? You seem to have this odd idea that just because you WANT sex, doing whatever it takes to get it cannot possibly be degrading.

          Newsflash; sometimes, even doing what it takes to STAY ALIVE can be degrading. People have died rather than submit to slavery.

          I want sex just as much as you do, G.L. The difference between us is that there are things I want even more than sex. One of those things is self-respect. I want sex, but I have a back bone, and I have courage, so I refuse to sacrifice my self-respect to get sex. I dont understand why you are so mystified by this.

          This is why we call gamers pussy-centric and pussy worshippers; because you cannot grasp that it might not be worth doing certain things to get sex. To you its always – but I WANT it! So ANYTHING is worth doing to get! But that, of course, does not follow. That is precisely what I deny.

          (I also do not for a second believe that you can only get sex by faking yourself a la game, but I want to show you that EVEN IF THAT WERE TRUE, doing so would be pathetic)

          If getting a great deal on a car involved my kissing the ass of the seller, I wouldnt do it. I would rather pay more. Thats what having a back bone MEANS.

          Let me try to spell it out to you clearly. What if getting sex meant you had to bow down to women and lick their feet? Would you do it? Would it just be the innocent practice of guys learning tactics to get sex?

          I am not suggesting people are perfect the way they are; people might have to grow in many ways, but in the direction of self-respect. Part of this growth process means learning to be more and more indifferent to what others think of you and becoming more and more your own man. Part of this growth process is learning to be less fake. Game hurts your growth as a man.

          I actually agree that many men come up thinking they need to be the opposite of aloof. Such men need to learn to have the courage to be who they are. Thats the point.

          Game began by grasping that what is wrong with society bullshit is that it tells men to try and make women like them by nice nice and social. This insight was gold. Game should have stopped right there.

          Instead, game did not grasp that the problem was trying to be liked. Instead, game said, you are trying to be liked the wrong way, here is the right way. Game failed to grasp that that the very premise was wrong. Game is just another version of society nice-guy bullshit. Same premise, just different version.

          I reject the premise.

          • Kimski

            Excellent!
            *Standing ovations!*

          • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

            X2 on the standing ovation…

            Harry you succeeded to say in one comment more than all the rest of us combined. I wish I could up sticky this comment on top of the page. Heck, it should probably be an AVfM article.

          • http://glpiggy.net g.l.piggy

            Harry,

            you create a false premise by stating that I or any other man who follows Game is denying our self-respect in order to get women. you keep hammering on this self-respect point which you just assume must be the case of any man who even thinks about, discusses, or practices Games’ teachings. we just accept that attraction for women will happen – that we will desire women and try for them. Game as I understand it teaches men precisely how to maintain their self-respect and keep themselves as the focal point rather than falling victim to the woman’s frame while also increasing the odds of getting this thing that they’d like. and for still other men, Game and pussy is a hobby. do you now have a problem with hobbies? are men slaves to their hobbies? if so, where do you or AVfM discuss this?

            if you read Roissy (have you?) you’ll find a blog that does not hold women as the end-all and be-all of men, and which teaches men who have otherwise swallowed the Blue Pill how to overcome their affliction. an analogy i made above is that we want the privilege of driving on the road in order to get about town – we might as well learn the rules of the road and how best to drive.

            and if you think of this in terms of slavery then i’m afraid that everything that we may want or need in life makes us a slave with respect to that particular object. that is quite a sensational and dramatic way to frame the debate. but if you start out framing it that way i guess you can convince a few of the guys here that your argument follows completely from that point.

          • Codebuster

            Harry, yours is the sort of attitude that spooks women – no wonder you can’t get laid :)

            Women become more reserved in the presence of a man that they respect. They sense that they are put on notice that this is the sort of dude in whose eyes they have to measure up.

            The more self-respect you have, the more indifferent you come across, and so the more you have to supplicate in order to disarm the ladies that you want to bed. The whole reason that women often finish up with knuckleheads and degenerates is because they don’t feel threatened by them in the same way that they feel threatened by a man who has self-respect.

            There are different ways of supplicating. Manginas do it one way. PUAs do it another. But at their core is the importance of being liked and being seen to be liked. This disarms the ladies, but where one disgusts them, the other tweaks their first impressions of their bad-boy cultural stereotypes.

            The bottom line is a paradox in that the more attractive (respectable) that a man is to a woman, the harder he has to work at disarming her. In other words, he has to compromise himself in order to become more accessible.

            There are ways to disarm women whilst retaining self-respect. But these have nothing to do with PUA game.

          • Paul Elam

            There’s a problem though, Harry. I have spent way more than the usual amount of time reading comments today from Game-bots than usual, and have come to the conclusion that men that immerse themselves in Game and PUA are ideologues. And in that respect they don’t differ from any other ideologues.

            As we see with feminists, the goal always trumps any sense of personal integrity. For instance, if you want to buy a car and saving every dollar you can plays into your sense of identity and adequacy, then tossing the salad of the car salesman for a few bucks off is not a problem. It is not lessening yourself because you have no real self outside the goal.

            This is particularly easy with sex since there is such a strong biological drive behind it. Hells bells, men sacrificing their values and integrity is hardly anything new. In fact, it is for most men a struggle in maturity to reach the point in life where values and integrity outweigh the choice for sex.

            So it seems that Game is just a way to institutionalize the failure to move to that next, more significantly developed place in life.

          • Harry

            G.L, your reply is a bit disjointed and confusing, but I will try to reply with what I see as the crux of the matter.

            You say that you accept that men will be attracted to women. I already said I agreed with that. I dont understand why you repeat this point when I have fully accepted it, and others have as well.

            You say you feel game teaches you to not fall into a womans frame, but game teaches you precisely to surrender to a womans frame by telling you you must adapt yourself to what a woman likes in order to get her. That is the best definition of surrendering to a womans frame, on the most fundamental level.

            Game excels at defintion-level contradictions of this kind. Insisting it is not doing the exact thing that BEST defines what it is doing. It is almost uncanny. In any given situation, the best thing that defines game is what its practitioners insist it is not. The symmetry is almost perfect.

            You claim changing yourself to be liked by a woman is NOT giving in to her frame. You must realize this is logically incoherent?

            Its THESE kinds of smokescreen contradictions that is most problematic about game. If game simply ADMITTED it is pussy begging and let men make an informed and honest choice, it would be FAR less objectionable.

            I have no problem with men having hobbies. This may shock you, but casual sex is one of MY favorite hobbies. For some odd reason, you seem to think that merely having a hobby justifies doing ANYTHING to practice it. I do not. Sex is a hobby of mine, but I do not practice it at the expense of my self-respect. I do not understand why you have such a hard time grasping this. You seem not to have fully absorbed my explanation about this in my previous reply, and I dont understand why.

            I am NOT saying dont go after sex – you keep insisting we MRAers are saying that, and we keep on correcting you. Let me do so again.

            Yes, I have read roissy, and I find him one of the most spineless woman worshipping creatures out there. Roissy measures everything by whether women like it or not. He has zero back bone or values outside of what women like. He is the consummate woman worshipper.

            Roissy mocks men who refuse to adapt themselves to what women want in order to get laid. He advocates surrender of male autonomy to women in exchange for sex. Roissy is probably the acme of pussy begging. His style is also the perfect example of macho overcompensation. He is constantly trying to prove himself to his readers, but that is beside the point.

            As for your analogy about driving, if one of the *rules* was that I had to, say, supplicate to and kiss the ass of the guy handing out drivers licenses, say, on a daily basis, I would not do it. You can vary your analogies about achieving something all you like, as many times as you like, but the response will be the same. It sounds like you are repeating a mantra to convince yourself. If getting what I want involves self-degradation, I wont do it. Its really THAT simple. By continuing to make these analogies you show that you have not quite grasped the point.

            You say game is does not involve loss of self-respect for men. That is simply a fundamental value difference between us.

            Game teaches that men have to adapt themselves to women. That they have to change themselves to be liked by women. That men have to be put themselves in the position of the suppliant. That they have to surrender their autonomy. That they have to play by womens rules.

            In short, you are putting HER above YOU.

            InMY view, surrendering your autonomy and learning to play to anothers tune involves an inevitable loss of dignity and self-respect. Becoming subservient to another human being involves an inevitable loss of dignity.

            In YOUR view, as long as you get what you WANT, surrendering your autonomy as a male is not degrading.

            That is the fundamental value difference between us.

          • Harry

            Paul, thats an excellent psychological analysis. Its incredible how they just seem so puzzled that there can be some kind of value outside of their goal. They just cant grasp how having a goal does not mean you are justified in doing everything to get it!

            But you are quite right, for them, they DERIVE value from the goal.

          • Harry

            Codebuster, are you here to provide comic relief?

            Codebuster; *Harry, yours is the sort of attitude that spooks women – no wonder you can’t get laid*

            Have you failed to understand that I have VALUES OUTSIDE OF GETTING LAID?!?! Lol.

            Besides, I get laid plenty ;) It is only you who imagines it is impossible to get laid while having a back bone.

          • Codebuster

            Have you failed to understand that I have VALUES OUTSIDE OF GETTING LAID?!?! Lol.

            Harry, I’m making exactly the same point that you are. I’m agreeing with you! I go to the trouble of inserting a smiley to hint at the sarcasm, and the irony is still lost on you. sheesh. I didn’t think my sense of humor was all that subtle.

            But much more than humor, I’m also trying to convey an important message, that being that success with women bears little relationship to success with being a man. In fact, in many ways it turns out to be the reverse. Which then shifts the spotlight onto women. How do we judge women worthy of our attention?

          • Harry

            Sorry, code, I skimmed what you said, and it was a bit more complex than what I gave it credit for ;)

            I dont know if I agree with you, but its clearly more complex than run of the mill trying to suggest that my attitude has no value because it may not help me get laid. That is clear.

            And gosh darn it all, I CAN get laid ;)

  • CastleD

    I agree with a few things in this article. No matter how this debate turns out, though, I feel that I learned a few things about male/female interaction from reading game blogs. It helped me and cleared up some mysteries. Plus quite simply I found it entertaining.

    Paul said that part of his motivation for writing Chateau Bullshit was all the pot-shots about MRAs that are made by people on game or pua sites. I agree, it annoys me too. A good example: underneath Roissy’s post the other day about Bill Bennett’s man up article, I wrote a comment listing things about men, such as “men commit suicide at a 4 to 1 rate over women, male workplace deaths over 93%,” etc etc.

    Admittedly, it was just a list with no commentary, but I wanted to get it out there for other men to see it in writing. Many men aren’t even aware of the gross discrepancies unfavorable to men. Now, look at commenter King A’s comment! He attacks me for having the audacity to even mention these things. Shaming language galore. It’s a perfect example, and when I read those things I roll my eyes and am reminded again why men are in the societal position we are in. We fucking hate each other sometimes.

    I’ll just repost King A’s comment to me:

    Wah.

    This sounds like a press release from a battered women’s shelter. What nuts you might have had just shriveled back into your body cavity.

    You’re damn right you’re “whining,” and a particularly pitiable brand of whining at that, you weak little sarcastic ectomorph.

    Here is a hint: Men don’t assemble grievances into a litany and embark on awareness campaigns. We assemble men and go on scorched earth campaigns until there are no more dissidents to throttle or awe into submission. Any man who still retains a testicular capacity already intuits the imbalance without your list of squeaky MRA faggotry.

    Women/leftists: “What do we want?” “JUSTICE!” “When do we want it?” “NOW.” Teargas. Exeunt.

    Men/conservatives: The basso profundo symphony of artillery, followed by the report of talking .50 cals, then the cleansing heat of hydrogen fusing brightly across the horizon… THEN: “What do we want? Glad you asked…”

    You are actively at odds with the solution. You are part of the problem.

    I’m part of the problem. Interesting irony.

    • Whitney

      Interestingly enough, the scorched earth might be the only way to correct the ills of society. There was a gender war and we either didn’t notice or we failed to show up. The earth is getting scorched one way or the other.

      • CastleD

        Yeah, I agree with that, but only in part. How about attacking from all angles? Scorched Earth, MRA, Game, and whatever else we can think of. While we’re waiting for scorched Earth, men can at least discuss what’s happening to men in society legally and socially – “raising awareness” as they say. That’s what Paul and others are doing, and it has helped men I think.

  • Teebs

    Principles of Power

    As an MRA my intent is to actively raise awareness about the truth of great social injustices which causes myself to naturally feel righteously indignant about the way entrusted power has been wickedly played over the masses, effectively eroding social integrity and dehumanizing men down to that of “disposable-tools.” I support horizontal power and opportunity for all people as opposed to the vertical power structure which now looms over the sheeple.

    PUA’s patronize another for personal gain, operating service-to-self. PUA’s are ignorant to the reality that no matter how many “48 ways to power” or Tom Vu seminars are employed, the hole they desperately seek to fill is not between someone’s legs.

    PUA’s, you may discover that with a fist full of smelling salts and a good dose of courage that women, good women, actually go for guys who have a life, not someone artificially synthesizing their Game for a prize of shame.
    Should this fail, you may at anytime grab a Fleshlight and go fuck yourselves.

    • Whitney

      Tweebs,

      Don’t kid yourself. Women don’t go for regular guys until their done riding the cock carousel. No need to be harsh to the gamers. Not all gamers are posers with no life. Some of them just figured out where your wife is 10 years before she allows you to support her.

      • Teebs

        Regular – Just a setting on the dryer.

        If only you were born bastardized, dirt poor, on the wrong side of the tracks like my irregular self, then women might have wanted to fuck you more often than your regular-guy defense mechanism has allowed…?

        • Whitney

          Ha!

          I was born poor (my big sister’s hospital birth still not paid for)

          I was bastardized by my mother kicking out my father because feminism told her she didn’t need a man (just welfare) and raised on welfare for 10 years 8-18 until I set out on my own.

          I AM the wrong side of the tracks brother! I was born and raised in the East End of Chatham, Ontario in the 70’s. It might not be as hardcore as Chicago or East LA, but I saw riots, cops ‘A’ plenty and firetrucks. There was a riot in front of my house between blacks and whites. A friend of the family came to my house for help with 22 stab wounds in his chest. Another man came to my door with his head all bashed in asking for help. This was all when I was six years old. Shall I go on?

          Mom got punched in the face in a bar for mouthing off to the wrong guy. Been homeless as a family at least three times I can remember.

          I had a daughter who I gained full custody of and after that I put myself through highschool (after getting kicked out twice before) and University. I’ve been working in my trade for the past 13 years. Any questions about normal will be deferred to somebody else. I must apologize for even using the term because I don’t really know what it is.

          It’s not the hand you were dealt, it’s how well you merge with the river or how well you bluff. Getting shit done is what we men do. Getting my wife 13 years ago was all me but I had some natural game that I lost after marriage. I regained it by reading about it.

          • Whitney

            To clarify, it was acting “normal” almost cost me my marriage.

          • Harry

            Whitney, no adult male acts *normal*. We reach adulthood having socialized to fake ourselves in a gazillion ways to be liked, by women and others. We reach adulthood practicing *game*. Game almost cost you your marriage.

            The solution is not different types of *game*, but learning who YOU are and being that person. In other words LEARNING to act *normal*. For almost all adult males in our society you need to LEARN to be yourself at this point in life.

          • zuismanm

            In reply to Harry:
            _______________________________________
            Game almost cost you your marriage.
            _______________________________________
            That means – you know better then Withney what destroyed and what saved his marriage… May be we will just remove his posts and you will speak for him – since you know better about HIS life?
            And another nice trick in your posts: everything that works – is “being yourself” everything that do not works is – game…. That way you can prove whatever you want…

    • zatarra

      You are missing the point. The need for a MRM and the need for PUA’s run parallel to each other. The social change of the 60’s gave rise for the need of both. 60 years ago a beta, with no game, could get a good job and almost be guaranteed a wife and 2 kids. Not so today.

      Clearly, in any age the alpha’s would get the most pussy. However, culture pre-60’s shunned sluts, pre-marriage sex, and out of wedlock birth. Because of this, game was not needed. Now even the fattest cow in the bar thinks she deserves the alpha-est of males. Any hint of weakness or betaness now results in forced celibacy. This is the world we live in. Adapt or perish.

      Games levels the playing field. It gives you options. Options = power, empowerment I assume is one of the goals of the MRM.

  • zatarra

    I am noticing a theme here. While deriding techniques used by gamer, the MRA here will tell you (representative sample) to just have a “good dose of courage that women, (and )good women, actually go for guys who have a life, not someone artificially synthesizing their Game for a prize of shame.”

    Look at that sentence very carefully: “Courage”, and “have a life”. What does that mean? Courage–practice courage enough (approaches) and you develop confidence. Confidence leads to gina tingle.

    “Have a life”– I have options and I’m not afraid to use them. In PUA terms this is pre-selection. Pre-selection leads to gina-gushing.

    MRA use game without even knowing it.

    • Grey Knight

      You are selling something that nobody here wants to buy. I don’t care about “Gina Tingle” nor the techniques in glorified pussy-begging. Seriously, preach that stuff elsewhere.

      Look at that sentence very carefully: “Courage”, and “have a life”. What does that mean? Courage–practice courage enough (approaches) and you develop confidence. Confidence leads to gina tingle.

      MRA use game without even knowing it.

      No. It’s common sense. You are attributing game to it. Also, it’s all part of the human condition and game has nothing to do with it. It’s like saying: “I brush my teeth, shit, shower and shave because…..Game.”

      • zatarra

        I’m not selling anything. Some of it is common sense. Yes, “take a shower” works. Some guys, unfortunately, need to be told that. Game looks at what works (both those things that are common sense and those that aren’t) and codifies it. It attaches meaning to what works and explains it.

        I don’t glorify pussy or put it on a pedestal. Men want to have sex do they not? That is how evolution works. It is a human need. If you want something, you figure out how to get it. I want food, so I have a job.

        Take a 25 year old virgin and give him Game and he has a fighting chance. Give him only MRM and you make of him a video game playing loser who jacks off in his parent’s basement. Give him both, and you will make him a man.

        • Grey Knight

          I don’t glorify pussy or put it on a pedestal. Men want to have sex do they not? That is how evolution works. It is a human need. If you want something, you figure out how to get it. I want food, so I have a job.

          You bend over backwards to get some pussy, therefore you have placed a higher value on it than your dignity. How is that not putting it on a pedestal? Oh yeah, the rest of that part of your post is again about the human condition and game has no part of it. You know what game has a major part in no matter how you spin it? Pussy-begging.

          And yes, you are selling something. Why else would you go in a MRA site preaching game and its all-encompassing wonders.

        • Logic Bomb zm

          I’m not selling anything. Some of it is common sense. Yes, “take a shower” works. Some guys, unfortunately, need to be told that. Game looks at what works (both those things that are common sense and those that aren’t) and codifies it. It attaches meaning to what works and explains it.

          I don’t glorify pussy or put it on a pedestal. Men want to have sex do they not? That is how evolution works. It is a human need. If you want something, you figure out how to get it. I want food, so I have a job.

          Take a 25 year old virgin and give him Game and he has a fighting chance. Give him only MRM and you make of him a video game playing loser who jacks off in his parent’s basement. Give him both, and you will make him a man.

          So, we need game to be a man?

          I think you are selling something.

          You are using shaming tactics to sell game here.

          • zatarra

            Yes, I think a 25 year old virgin needs game to be a man.

          • zatarra

            Tell me, what does the MRM do for that 25 year old virgin (and there are more of them out there than there should be). All it tells him is– “women aren’t that important so stop worrying about it. That football player in high school who screwed all the hottest girls, the images of whom you jacked off to, was really just putting their pussy on a pedestal. He’s the real loser, not you.”

            A lot of those guys 20 years after high school are still getting young woman. A lot are not married. They have true freedom.

            Denying you don’t want pussy is illogical. All men do. The cognitive dissonance created by this contradiction is the equivalent of the atom bomb in your mind.

    • Raven01

      You seem to be missing that a MGTOW type even inadvertently exhibits one very clear alpha quality.
      His not giving a damn about the women around him or trying to impress them signals that he must not need to and still gets tail. While that plays right into the hands of any MGTOW that engage in sex on their own terms rather than those dictated by women, it must be a bit of a hassle for those that seek to avoid that entirely untill they have reasonable protection from abuse.
      It might be closer to the truth to state that MRA’s use basic psychology and observation. Something PUA claim to have secret knowledge of, and in turn sell it like snake oil to desperate men after combining it with jumping through hoops like a trained dog in order to get a “treat”.
      If you buy it gamer theory in a big way do yourself a favour and stay away from used car lots.

  • jaytheman

    Once again I feel like an essential point is being left out from this argument and that point is the main question of WHY. Why do you need to put effort into getting women at all and not just for the obvious biological reasons? Something that can’t be ignored is the constant message that we get from society that a man is worthless without a woman in his life. Whether that need is for sex or love that is the problem that most blue pill men have faced in their life.

    You will notice a constant message woman get from our society is that they are not only better off single, but that they are also stronger for it. The truth behind that is questionable at best, but it still remains that men NEVER get to hear this idea. Even the persona of a bachelor requires that he be surrounded by pleasurable women and never that he can just enjoy life without them.

    The MRM and mainly MGTOW have taught me that I can live my life without a woman and that sex is not the MOST important aspect of life. That message is not a statement of celibacy or woman hating as feminists and even PUA’s will claim. Believe me the red pill is a bitter one to swallow and unfortunately takes several doses to have lasting effect.

    If you try to live the PUA lifestyle then all you’re doing is fulfilling that blue pill desire to need women. Why can’t you have a happy life with your friends and family? Oh yeah that’s right you’re a loser if you aren’t obsessed with two things according to PUA’s and society. Having constant meaningless sex and eventually getting married and having kids. Despite my regiment of red pill knowledge it is hard even for me to ignore the desire to have those two things I just mentioned. I would love to meet a nice girl get married and have kids, but the MRM has taught me that I am not less of person for not having these things. Until PUA’s admit that getting pussy is not the ultimate goal of a adult male I will find everything they say to be suspect at best.

    • zatarra

      “Why do you need to put effort into getting women at all”

      My boner, that’s why.

      “You will notice a constant message woman get from our society is that they are not only better off single but that they are also stronger for it.”

      Hamsters at work. Talk to her when she is 45.

      “If you try to live the PUA lifestyle then all you’re doing is fulfilling that blue pill desire to need women.”

      I think you are addressing the peacocking caricature of the PUA you have seen on VH1. I follow both MRM and PUA sites. If anything PUA lifestyle lowers the value of pussy. Again– Game = options, options = power.

      • jaytheman

        “Why do you need to put effort into getting women at all and not just for the obvious biological reasons?”

        Nice trick on not responding to the whole point. The point is going beyond pure biological needs and yes i get horny to its kinda what part of being male is. Game only address’s that biological need and constantly tells you that you NEED PUSSY.

        “I think you are addressing the peacocking caricature of the PUA you have seen on VH1. I follow both MRM and PUA sites. If anything PUA lifestyle lowers the value of pussy. Again– Game = options, options = power.”

        I’m sorry whats the difference between any type of PUA when all of their goals points to getting pussy. How is lowering the value of pussy possible when the whole idea is centered around getting it.

        • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

          I’m sorry whats the difference between any type of PUA when all of their goals points to getting pussy. How is lowering the value of pussy possible when the whole idea is centered around getting it.

          Whenever one criticizes PUAs, he is accused of criticizing VH1 PUAs or 2004 PUAs. He is told that supposedly “2011 PUAs are different and evolved”.

          They are one and the same. The marketing and dressing has evolved and gotten subtler, but it’s still the same deeply pussy-beggerish core.

          They just keep inventing new levels whenever the scaminess of the previous level is uncovered. The latest PUA crap is stuff like “natural game”, “social game” and “inner game”. Same shit, new dressing.

          • jaytheman

            Of course it’s like saying a gold miners goal isn’t getting rich. Why the hell else would he be mining for gold then to make a “few bucks.”

      • zuismanm

        I begin to understand that MRA in its current brand become very similar to feminism. Feminists had some their “highest goals” and were ready to create dozens of disgruntled females, since they were good source of recruitment of new feminists… Now MRAs are going exactly same way and promote creating of dozens of sex deprived, disgruntled males , since they thing – it will broaden their possibility to recruit new MRAs… First I think it just will not give “desirable” outcome (more MRAs) , second – if that is what MRA is about – probably males need another movement to defend their rights…

  • Type 5

    If there is a central issue to this debate, I suppose it would be the question, “Are MRA’s and PUA’s allies, enemies or something else?”

    Over a year ago, a PUA named Obsidian made a comment in one of the threads at The Spearhead that stuck with me. He said that through his study of Game and evolutionary biology he had come to the conclusion that males are wired to be in competition with each other and always will be. He acts accordingly. He is as much an enemy of other men as any mangina or women-firster.

    I’m not saying it’s inevitable for all men who practice Game, but there is the strong possibility that a man who is successful with Game will buy into the value system of the women he’s pursuing and actually believe that Game Makes Right: That because he can fuck another man’s woman, he is obviously more Alpha and thus has the right to do so. That attitude will translate into his opinions on all issues and he’ll happily support Joe Biden and VAWA if he thinks it will give him a leg up on Average Frustrated Chumps.

    If PUA leads a man into the view (or reinforces an existing view) that other men are merely an obstacle in his pursuit of pussy, then such PUA produces enemies of MRA’s.

    • http://truthjusticeca.wordpress.com/ Denis

      Not necessarily, if PUA’s actually consider MRA’s to be celibate, then there is no obstacle to worry about.

      However, if PUA’s produce an alpha hierarchy that tramples on the majority of men for the benefit of a few, then that is a concern to MRAs.

    • jaytheman

      Many PUA’s will gladly tell you that they “stole another mans woman.” That statement alone should point to the obvious fact that they are against other men. The only reason they try to claim they are part of the MRM is to recruit more followers. The whole idea of it is based on competition why do you think its called Game. When a MGTOW refuses to play the PUA’s “Game” then all of sudden they are a celibate loser.
      PUA= All you should worry about is women
      MGTOW= There’s more to life then women

      • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

        The only reason they try to claim they are part of the MRM is to recruit more followers

        QFT

        The easiest evidence for this claim is the gamers lack of good faith. All we had to do is criticize them once, and it revealed their true face, with them mocking, ridiculing the MRA, upping the shaming tenfold, calling us insane, ineffective, telling us we’re losing our time (bla bla bla).

        The only reason gamers are in the MRA is because they’re trying to recruit members. That’s it.

        Am I saying there are no true MRAs who also believe in game?

        Of course not. I know a few great MRAs who believe in game (for example factory).

        The difference is that those MRAs do not mention, preach, teach or defend game when in mra-space.

        Those guys only focus on being JUST AN MRA when they are in an MRA space. They know this is an MRA space, and so over here the only subject they bring up is MRA. They are able to compartmentalize. They leave their gamer-activity for when they go to their gamer conferences – and that’s how it should be.

        Anyone mixing mra/game is acting in bad faith and trying to leech resources off of the mra.

      • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

        Many PUA’s will gladly tell you that they “stole another mans woman.” That statement alone should point to the obvious fact that they are against other men.

        Roissy teaches AMOG-ing, it’s basically a PUA concept that says you need to put down and humiliate other men in order to win the pussy.

        How freaking amazing do you have to be at cognitive dissonance to have a guy who teaches AMOG-ing, and for you to say he cares about defeating misandry or is an ally of the MRA.

        THIS GUY TEACHES HOW TO USE MISANDRY TO GET LAID – look it up.

        • Atlas Reloaded

          “THIS GUY TEACHES HOW TO USE MISANDRY TO GET LAID – look it up.”

          Now that I can’t argue with. The Futurist pointed out both the futility and ultimately the toxicity of men competeing with and shaming other men for the mere table scrap of female approval. And personally, I don’t mean a small amount. I mean given the way most gamers go about it, ANY amount of female approval is table-scrap value.

          • Atlas Reloaded

            The Misandry Bubble.

      • Sting Chameleon

        “stole another man’s woman”.Heh, how full of themselves.

  • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

    WN has written a blog post prompted about this debate. What follows is his post that he just posted…


    Roissy Has Done More To Delay The Progress Of Mens Rights Than Anyone

    I have come to the conclusion that Roissy has done more to delay real progress in the cause of mens rights than anyone. Before two years ago, none of the gamers knew anything about the MRM. Roissy is the one who brought them here because he was the one who talked about both game bullshit and a bit about mens rights. Since then the gamers have been wasting our time, time that could have been used for doing real work to promote mens rights and/or MGTOW.

    The gamers are no allies of the MRM. They passive agressively start fights all the while claiming to be allies of mens rights. Just look at In Mala Fide for the past week. It has been a constant attack on mens rights. (I’m not surprised that In Mala Fide ended up this way. Everyone writing there is a useless turd.) Gamers think that mens rights is a euphemism for sexual loser. This is an ally? Bullshit.

    The gamer invasion of the MRM has led to other scams invading the MRM such as the paleo fad diet. Had it not been for the gamers this had never would have happened. This means Roissy is indirectly responsible for these other scams invading the MRM. This all adds up. Roissy is responsible for game scammers invading the MRM and all the related scams that hitched a ride with the game scam. No one else has damaged the MRM as much as Roissy.

    • zatarra

      Roissy is the chosen one. He will bring balance to the men’s rights movement.

      • jaytheman

        HAHAHAHA. Please tell me your joking. I like Paul Elam a lot and I recognize his valuable contributions to the movement, but i would never make such a stupid statement about him. Nor do i think he would ever want the title of “the chosen one. That will bring balance to the men’s rights movement.” HAHAHAHA someones been watching too much Star Wars.

      • Just1X

        Nice…more humour please.

  • The Boar

    Last time I heard, Roissy was a secret agent of the Illuminati, working with the feminists and the damnable scientologists to overthrow the righteous rule of the MRA’s.

    Normally, I wouldn’t believe this possible, but the proof is undeniable.

    • Raven01

      Dude, you argue like a chick.
      That is not meant as mud slinging. I am just pointing out how, instead of addressing the issue you instead deflect with bullshit and try to put your opponent in a position they never once stated.

      • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

        In all fairness, to a gamer that is not an insult. One of the most common defenses that gamers use is saying “well, well women have been gaming for centuries, so so so we’re just doing what they do” :)

        As if though acting like a chick is a positive…

        • Just1X

          Yeah? Has a ring of truth to me.

          But then I prefer to try and recognise truth wherever I hear it.. Even feminists can tell the truth, once in a blue moon (according to my statistics).

        • Raven01

          Honestly, Alek, I flirted with Game and PUA theory right after splitting with the second ex.
          And, I was successful. But, I was more successful when I created my own “game” which was not a game at all but rather me being me and being not only comfortable with it but proud of who I am.
          Having come to the MRM(I was anti-feminist long before being a MRA) via a circuitous route that included PUA I was very tempted to give them a pass on this. Hell, it was a mistake I had made myself and I learned from it. I value my failures for what they teach as much or more than successes.
          Your last line is priceless but I have to say the pro-PUA posts are doing more to prove your point than even you are.
          I’ll reserve judgement until the debate is done but, already I am questioning myself on which route of separation to take with PUA.

          • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

            Your last line is priceless but I have to say the pro-PUA posts are doing more to prove your point than even you are.

            I fully agree :) Nothing makes the point better then the gamers’ response to Paul’s article.

            They have pretty much proven every point made.

  • Atlas Reloaded

    I will answer Muk down here so that it may be read more easily. You asked “why is it so important for you guys to discredit it (game)?”

    I actually don’t discredit it. I just don’t see it as needed in my life. Not the popular brand name anyway. I have some things that work well for me. Mostly pretty much doing what Paul has talked about. Dressing neat, clean, walking with confidence but not a stupid swagger. And looking preoccupied by BEING that. Actually think about other things.

    But, I just do not see why what PUAs say is relevant to the MM or vice versa. Oh I get why Paul is having a go at some of them. But overall, PUAs are just another group of guys doing what they feel they need to do as men in this world. Same as me.

  • ZenCo.

    Brooklyn Lager is the best lager in America.
    Try it. You’ll see…

    • Bombay

      It is better than Sam Adams?

      • Atlas Reloaded

        Always a good decision.

  • Bombay

    The next generation of men who will do what it takes to get sex should incorporate the latest data:

    “I am very turned on when he’s doing housework,” says the 36-year-old Camden, Delaware resident, a middle school teacher.

    “If there’s a sink full of dirty dishes, he knows I’m going to take care of that before I want to get intimate. If he wasn’t helping with the housework, I would not find that very attractive.”

    http://articles.cnn.com/2008-06-17/living/housework.relationships_1_housework-division-of-household-duties-researchers?_s=PM:LIVING

    • zatarra

      Bombay, both the practitioners of game and MRA know the Grand Canyon gulf that exists between what a woman says she likes and what actually turns her on. It is like the girl that says she just wants a “nice guy” only to find herself going home with the biker alpha. She may regret it in the morning (false rape accusation), but the biker triggered something.
      ” an

  • Anakin Niceguy

    My take on it all (as a long time MGTOWer):

    My first interactions with the Roissyphere were about two years ago. My impression, then, was that these guys were saying some intelligent things about women (the politics behind male/female interactions, especially the head games, etc.). They were titling towards MRA and MGTOW.

    I can’t be too critical of the Roissyphere. I’ve seen an transition in their thinking. Even Gucci Piggy (Chuck) was much more critical of MRAs, etc. two years ago then he is now. Also, the fact that someone in the game community recently indicated that The Spearhead was a MRA/MRM publication is telling, considering that it was primarily brought into existence by a group of men in the Roissyphere.

    Have men in the game community said some stupid, irresponsible, bill pill things? Yeah. I have seem some parroting society’s tired memes of …

    1. Men are losers if they don’t have a woman or women in their life.

    2. Men can’t go without sex. They’ll just go insane or die if they try. (By this line of logic, even the most socially inept teenaged boy becomes some sort of superhuman because … well … he’s going without sex. But seriously, if a socially inept teenaged boy can go without sex, then um, I think grown men can survive just fine without it, too. Sure, nobody wants to go without sexual intercourse with a member of the opposite sex, but anyone who puts this on the same level as food and sleep is, at best, grossly exaggerating).

    3. If the little lady is not behaving, then the problem is you.

    4. There’s nothing wrong with the way women are behaving. It’s just the way they are. You need to adapt.

    I most definitely take issue with the above sentiments. To me, inasmuch as a Game advocate espouses these ideas, he has moved into blue pill terrority.

    Now, whether or not Game is effective, I leave that to Alek Novy and the Game community to debate. For the sake of argument, I am willing to concede some effectiveness to Game theory. I’ve made the concession in the past. For me, the larger issue with the Game community is this …

    1. Are they going to continue to view men who don’t want to play “the game” as being deficient in their manhood?

    2. Are they going to continue to minimize the risks that AntZ talked about? There are definite risks to interacting with women in our current dysfunctional society. And make no mistake, our society IS dysfunctional in how it views men.

    Gucci Piggy is dead wrong when he compares the risk of interacting with women to the risk of driving a car. In this society, transportation is pretty much a necessity. Dating women isn’t. Sure, being an adult means accepting a life where risk is assumed in a lot of activities. If I enjoy a recipe that calls for raw eggs, then I’ll look for organic, free-range, pasteurized eggs and assume the risk that salmonella won’t be as large of a concern as otherwise.

    I’m not calling on anyone to avoid women. Hey, I’ve dated even after I went MGTOW! But anyone who downplays the problem of false allegations, divorce, STDs, man-hating attitudes, the modern female entitlement mentality, etc. is just being reckless and irresponsible.

    It’s like this: “Hey, honey, let’s forget about the condom. I mean, we trust each other, right? I think you’re an honorable woman and I trust you to remember to take the pill. I trust you to be straight about your past sex partners and your last medical checkup. I trust you even though I’ve only known you for three weeks.” Or the guy that says, “Hey, I’ve never had a motorcycle accident yet! Life is full of risks. I don’t need to wear a helmet!”

    Now, motorcycle accidents don’t always happen. Getting pregnant or not getting an STD from unprotected sex doesn’t always happen. Nonetheless, people take precautions. Yet … get this … when MRAs bring up the HIGH rates of no-fault divorce initiated by women, the problems with family law, the serious problems with draconian laws that make false allegations devastating, the attempt by our police state to criminalize male sexuality (such redefining rape to include the most absurd situations), the pandemic message in our culture that men are stupid and evil, the disturbing attitudes that prevail among far too many woman about men, etc., why then all of a sudden, MRAs are nothing but mere scaremonging chicken littles! Suddenly it’s okay for some game advocates to have a “What? Me Worry?” Alfred E. Neuman goofy face about it all.

    When I read an article about the FBI trying to redefine rape, which may include situations where consent was given under the influence of alcohol, I think about PUAs and Game advocates. A lot of PUA and Game activity occurs in social situations where the presence of alcohol is a given, whether it be bars or frat parties. Where are these guys on this matter?!!!!! Oh, yeah, I forget, “MRA are just a bunch of bitter whiners who can’t get dates.” It un-be-LIEVE-able the ways these guys just stick their heads in the sand about the issues. These does not describe all Game advocates, but most assuredly the anti-MRA ones need a serious truth enema.

    And then there’s the implication by some that Game will get women to behave. It goes like this: “Is your marriage falling apart? Are you being disrepected by women? Game will fix that!”

    Uh, no it WON’T! That a DANGEROUS message to be sending to men and boys. That’s like telling a woman who lives with a physically abusive alcoholic that he’ll treat her better if she pretties herself up and loses a few pounds. You cannot, and I repeat cannot, fix the issues of a sick, dsyfunctional woman that doesn’t know to properly relate to men by adapting more “Game.” You cannot adequately address the deep-rooted causes of misandry in our society by adopting more “Game.” It’s unconscionable that some Game advocates would suggest otherwise.

    Whatever common sense principles that Game might impart are of limited value. What still remains is a warped entitlement mentality that is pervasive among women in our culture do to a broken public school system, the fashion industry, an artificial economic situation brought about by cheap credit and government interference, etc. What still remains is a police state run by ignorant politicians. What still remains is a society kept ignorant about men’s issues by lamestream media (which is controlled by interests that are not necessarily yours or mine).

    And for the THOUSANDTH time, MGTOW/MRA does not equal celibacy!! That a lot of MGTOWers chose not to date or marry is beside the point. More to the point is this: MGTOW is about not letting the blue-pill takers decide your self-image as a man. There is too much absolutist thinking in the Roissyphere that goes a lot like this ..

    1. If you are not PUA, then your celibate.

    2. If you think you can do without women, then you are celibate.

    3. If you are MGTOW or MRA, then you are a)old b)bitter c)virgin d) celibate e)all of the above, or a combination.

    4. Oh, and by the way, did I forget to say your celibate?

    5. If you are celibate then you are asexual.

    No, no, and a thousand time, no. I’ll say no more on this post. I’ve gotten long-winded again.

    • http://aleknovy.com/ Alek Novy

      Anakin, you’re using logic in response to an ideology.

      Great post though. You’ve pretty much covered all there is to cover and argumented it well.

      • lensman

        OK, this is the perspective of someone who was (or rather attempted to do) PUA, before he became involved in the Men’s Rights movement.

        First of all, a bit of personal history: I grew up in Greece. I was one of those kids that preferred reading to football, much to the chagrin of my parents, who wanted me to be more athletic, my brothers, who didn’t have a “proper playmate”, and my teachers, who found a kid that read actually more than what he has to a bit irritating. As a result, I was considered a social pariah, I had (and still have) only a few friends, but, I think, good ones.

        I think, in retrospect, the problem was that I was, essentially, a man raised by a woman. My father was much too busy to spend time with me and my brothers. He never gave us any advice, and always looked down on us. Despite this, I believe he is a great man. All the people that know him have great respect for him. He seems to have plenty of friends, something I never really got the hang of. He managed to build factories and hotels, redevelop hospitals. All in all, he worked his ass off for us, to support us to, to feed us. He helped and saved a lot of people, often without a word of appreciation and thanks. But, he was never there to give us a few pointers and lessons on how life worked.

        This is normally the part where I am supposed to say that I was miserable around women. The truth is that I never had a problem approaching, I never stuttered saying my name to a woman. But I didn’t have much success, initially, due to the fact that I just didn’t know how to take things to the next level. I was always the guy girls wanted as a friend and kept wondering why I was still single. My brothers and my father never seemed to have this problem, which kind of put a strain on me.

        As a result I became bitter (and fatter, as I was and still am a comfort eater) which only made matters worse. It was then that I stumbled onto the “Game Community” on the internet, more specifically the free forums. I found out about Ross Jeffries and I downloaded his audio tapes (hey, I am not going to pay 1’200 dollars for something that I don’t know if it will work). I started to see a few changes, it made me feel a bit better about myself, open up a bit more, but It didn’t lead me to being successful with women.

        Ironically, it was when I stopped caring about what women thought that I actually started having some semblance of success. When I decided to be a bit more happy about myself, embrace all the “geeky things” that I liked and not define my happiness about what other people thought about me (and that included my brothers and parents) I started having some success. A woman dumped me? Fuck her, I’m gonna hang around and drink with my friends. A woman shies out and starts playing games? Fuck her, I am going to hang around with my brothers and play Dreamcast (I was a Sega Boy through and through). In retrospect, that was the happiest period of my life

        The problem was that I didn’t like myself when I was with women. I didn’t like the lack of warmth, the lack of feelings, treating them like garbage, and spitting on them so that they would get stuck on me like stamps. Deep down, I wanted someone to share my life with. at least that’s what I was conditioned to want –I guess deep down I was still a momma’s boy.

        So when I finally found some girl that didn’t play games with me, that treated me like a human being, coddled me, cooked and cleaned for me, and didn’t mind sleeping with me, I foolishly decided to tie the noose. As soon as we got married, as soon as the ring was on her finger, she literally became another being. It was like “The Lord of the Rings”, like the ring was cursed and she became a ringwraith as soon as she put it on her finger. Sex was suddenly gone, she started to isolate me from my family and my friends, she started spending money like no tomorrow and acting like a complete and utter bitch towards everyone. When I considered divorcing her, she announced that she was pregnant. I

        I love my kid, and I suppose I still love my wife, but goddammit they make my life a living hell. I never considered suicide during my formative years but now I think about it every day. I am now morbidly obese, I am being warned of an impending stroke or heart-attack and all I can say is “Good!”. Ironically, the recent Greek crisis and pending bankruptcy of Greece has made her mellow down a bit and accept my friends and relatives. I guess she finally figured out that she can’t afford to be alone at this time and place.

        So, to summarize, I was part of the Game community, failed miserably, then got married, became miserable, and them discovered the Men’s Right Movement. The Men’s Right Movement is a way for me to put things into perspective, to find out exactly how screwed I am and to finally get myself to make some decisions for myself in order to improve my life. I am learning Turkish and I have made arrangements for a friend of mine to get my fat ass to Turkey if shit hits the fan and she files for divorce. I will most likely die on the streets like a dog, but at least I will die as a free dog. Hopefully things won’t reach this point, but hope is not a strategy, and has utterly screwed a lot of people.

        If there’s anything to take from my story is this: Learn how to love yourself, discover something that makes you happy, educate yourself and fuck all the rest. Being alone is not the same as being lonely. I am married and I have never been lonelier in my life. The pain of being in your apartment alone playing video games is nothing compared to the pain you feel when you are involved with a demon from hell. If you want game to improve yourself and your social skills, that’s fine, but learning game because you define your success by how many women you fuck and you think nobody currently wants to sleep with you is wrong and will get you into serious emotional and financial pain. Deal with your personal problems first and fuck what women think about you.

    • Whitney

      But tell us what you think about game! :)

  • Doc

    Hmmm… I would have to say that the two have a different focus, but acknowledge many of the same points. Now personally, a lot of what today passes for “Game” are things that I determined through empirical observation during my years in grad-school in an admittedly “nerdy” field – Theoretical Physics. Think, “Big Band Theory” and how well they (the grad-students) generally do with women. So being intelligent I wanted to understand the why something (women) behaved as it did and how to predict it. That is what physicists do. So what I observed about how to elicit a given response/outcome is what I would characterize as “Game”. Whereas the MRM is directed at a completely different area with a desire for a different outcome – equality. The two are related only in that they both are related to women and their overall behavior.

    Now, in the discussion of this topic, I see a lot of people projecting their own views onto these general frameworks. I can say that while I acknowledge many of the points made in the MRM, my choices in life have primarily been driven by what is best for me. So I may have felt a larger pressure to “settle down” if my career hadn’t caused me to move around so much early on, and later I found that as every year passed, more and more women became accessible to me. So that by today – there really is nothing but minuses associated with long-term monogamy. Now that may change in the next ten years, as I am pushing the big half-century mark. But at the moment I enjoy my life as it is, primarily because of what I learned in grad-school through interacting with the ladies. (I’ve been described as a very charming snake – which I rather enjoy as a characterization.)

    So, I see a lot of the MRM issues stemming from men who bought into the “idea” of marriage/fatherhood rather than the reality. Many of the largest issues can be handled via contracts – I already passed on one potentially permanent relationship due to a lack of willingness to sign what shouldn’t have been a big deal – basically a legally binding contract spelling things out clearly. A lot of men, aren’t willing to “walk-away” and that is where the problem starts, but if you have options, walking away is the easiest solution.

    Yes, you were sold a bill of goods if you bought into the “role of men” (in pair-bonding) just like you were sold a bill of goods if you bought into “what women want” (in trying to be a nice-guy). Both are lies – usually due to wishful thinking more than malice, but both have profound negative effects on a man’s life if he bought into them too much.

    So that is my take on this topic… Loosely related areas only in that they are both closely tied to women, and as men, we can’t live with them, and we can’t eradicate them since they are so soft and willing – when they want to be… :)