Pussy

The power of pussy

Pussy. We all know it’s what makes the world go round, right?

That’s just the way it is. It’s the most valuable substance on earth because men want it so bad. Human men are gaga over the vagjna. It’s instinct. Spread your seed, sow your wild oats, bow and scrape for a bit of the ol’ beaver pelt. But is it really?

If it was instinct you’d think other male animals would be acting the same way. They’re not. Female chimps beg male chimps for sex. Antelopes of the fairer sex will scrap and cheat their way into scoring prime nooky from their male counterparts. Stallions, held up as the pinnacle of ever ready male sexuality, will often turn their nose up at a willing mare who isn’t the right color or breed or for some other horsey reason. So what’s really giving the va-jay-jay it’s star power in our society?

Let’s look at the average dating scenario.

A man is responsible for:

  • Asking the woman out
  • Choosing a venue for the date
  • Paying for the date
  • Escalating the physical intimacy

When physical intimacy does commence, he’s also responsible for:

  • Achieving and maintaining an erection
  • Getting her wet
  • Giving her pleasure
  • Most of the physical work of sex

And here’s the real kicker—the part of sex that a man is also responsible for that turns the whole thing into an exercise in absurdity—the man is also responsible for his own orgasm.

As a Chris Rock said, ‘it’s not you, it’s the filthy thoughts in our head.’

The value of female sexuality to men is its ability to give men orgasms right? That’s why men are walking hard-ons right? Because they only want one thing: shove it in and get it off.

But men have started to fess up to the fakery… women don’t give them orgasms, they give themselves orgasms. Let’s say that again. Women aren’t giving men orgasms; men are giving themselves orgasms in the presence of women.

Think about it. It is the one thing society says makes her sexuality so precious, so much more valuable than yours, and she’s not even giving it. You’re giving yourself the orgasm. She’s giving you the headache. At what point in this façade due men stop and realize that they’re engaged in a sexual relationship… with themselves?

Look at the average hook up in hook up culture. For a man it usually amounts to pretending to orgasm from sex with a less-attractive woman who may or may not have social and physical hygiene issues.

This is the precious resource that men are taught to center their lives around?

It’s the social expectation of the eternal hard-on that gives pussy its power. The expectation that men be ever ready, that they be machines, that they function like a piston. That they orgasm with women, and only with women and that pretend women are giving them orgasms that women aren’t actually giving them.

So what’s really giving the whispering eye its wallop?

It’s you. It’s every one of you who’s pretending it’s worth more than it is.

So here’s a thought. Recognize that once you’re asking the woman out, setting up the date, paying for the date, responsible for physical escalation, responsible for her physical response and responsible for your own orgasm, that you’re essentially having sex with yourself. The woman is just a formality.

Or simply demand that pussy do as advertised and actually give you an orgasm. And when it doesn’t work as advertised, don’t blame yourself, blame it. Blame the entire edifice of bullshit built up around it as this hole of wonders and ultimate bliss.

Pussy? It’s just another one of those crappy products on the shopping channel; it’s talked up a lot, works like a charm when it’s demonstrated on video but once you get it out of the box it fails to deliver. Big Time.

The funny thing about the human penis is that it’s not ever ready; muscular erections are ever ready. Vasocongestive erections are more like a formula one race car—a lot of technologically advanced systems in one extremely volatile state of synergy.

Thus if the penis can be likened to a machine, it’s less the ever-ready piston and more a finely tuned bullshit detector.

So perhaps the next time a guy finds himself limp when society says he should be hard, rather than thinking he’s failing to perform he should instead be alert to the presence of weapon grade bullshit in his vicinity. He might just find that all his parts are working just as they’re supposed to, thank you very much.

And maybe the penis-as-bullshit detector’s the real reason why our society is so heavily invested in medicating away the so-called nonfunctional phallus. Because it’s functioning too well and society isn’t liking what it’s saying.

So how do you end the power of pussy? Simple. Stop pretending. Stop perpetuating the hysteria, the bullshit and the balderdash surrounding the world’s most over-hyped organ. Bring out your bendy bullshit barometers, your flaccid phalluses, your limp dicks… cuz it’s time to flop their shit up.

About Alison Tieman (Typhonblue)

Alison Tieman (aka Typhonblue) is a Canadian writer and social observer. She is a Senior Contributor and Editor to A Voice for Men, penning superlative works that analyse gender-related behavior in men and women. She also writes for Genderratic, and is a founder and member of The Honeybadger Brigade.

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  • Christian Valenzuela

    the reason women are choosy is because the instinctual goal is a child, where the males part takes all of 9 minutes and the females part is 9 months +lifetime. in comparison the males contribution doesn’t even register. therefore the women would be much more selective