long-haired woman with knife

Manufacturing female victims, marginalizing vulnerable men

Toxic victim-consciousness is the process by which women are made into class “acted upon” by emphasizing a disproportionate victimhood where none actually exists or isn’t proven.

In “Women Do Not Benefit: The Science,” I outlined how toxic victimhood limits women and socializes them to undermine their own achievements. Toxic victimhood promotes the perception that women are “acted upon” rather than actors. When a society is promoting toxic victimhood, there is no need to limit women overtly through legal, financial or social restrictions. Instead women will limit themselves through their own mental foot-binding.

Here I will look at a recent and very successful effort to manufacture toxic female victimhood whole-cloth, the CDC’s 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey.

The much publicized figure on rape from this survey is that 1 in 5 women versus 1 in 71 men are victims of rape in their lifetime. (If the rate men are raped is reported on at all.)

Let’s see exactly how the female-as-victim juggernaught churned this nugget out.

Question: When is Rape Not Rape? Answer: When a Rapist Uses Her Vagina

The first thing to note is that the NIPSVS decided that men being forced to have sex with women isn’t rape. Let’s think about this again. The NIPSVS finds that men are the majority perpetrators of rape. 98% of female rape victims and 93% of male rape victims had a male perpetrator. A woman shoving her fingers up a man’s anus is rape, but a woman shoving her vagina down on his penis is not. The latter is not classified as rape, but as “made to penetrate” and is placed in the category of “other sexual violence”.

Logically, if you define rape as penetration, but not envelopment, you are going to end up with an arbitrarily large number of male rapists compared to female rapists.

Rape could easily be redefined as forced envelopment, which is exactly as arbitrary as the NIPSVS’s redefinition of rape. In that case we would find that 80+% of rapists are female. Which is as fatuous a finding as the reverse.

So why are significantly more men than women rapists and significantly more women raped than men? Because when women rape using their vaginas it’s not rape, it’s “other sexual violence”.

Men are the vast majority of rapists and women are the vast majority of victims because rape was defined in such a way to make sure that this was so.

The Real Risk of Rape in the Last Twelve Months

It should be noted the NIPSVS presents no statistics on male victims of rape through penetration for the last 12 months. This is interesting because the 2000 National Violence Against Women Survey found that 0.3 percent of women and 0.1 percent of men surveyed said they were raped via penetration in the previous 12 months.

The NIPSVS says: “The estimates for male victims raped by other types of perpetrators were based upon numbers too small to calculate a reliable estimate and therefore are not reported.”

The NIPSVS surveyed 18,000 people; The NVAWS surveyed 16,000. Did the risk of rape of men by other men take a nose-dive between the NVAW survey and the NIPSVS survey?

Luckily the NIPSVS did track the risk of “made to penetrate” for men in the last year. It was 1.1%, identical to the 1.1% of women “made to envelop”.

If the act of forced envelopment is correctly classified as rape—namely a woman forcing a man to have sex using her vagina, the vagina being one of the two most commonly used instruments of sex—then you get an equal risk of rape between men and women in the last twelve months.

An equal risk of rape between men and women in the last twelve months.

Why then, is the lifetime risk of rape so different?

Men Rape; Women Are Raped

Researchers into the field of traumatic memory recovery note that the longer the period of time a person is asked recall a traumatic event, the less likely they are to remember it. How this works is that surveys that ask about a traumatic event in the last six months get less false negatives than those that ask about a traumatic event in the last twelve months which, itself, gets considerably fewer false negatives than lifetime prevalence.

For men this effect is even more pronounced.

16% of men with documented cases of sexual abuse considered their early childhood experiences sexual abuse, compared with 64% of women with documented cases of sexual abuse. These gender differences may reflect inadequate measurement techniques or an unwillingness on the part of men to disclose this information (Widom and Morris 1997).

Only 16% of men with documented case histories of child sexual abuse disclosed that abuse on a survey intended to capture child sexual abuse. Sixteen percent of men compared to sixty-four percent of women.

That amounts to a disclosure rate of child sexual abuse four times higher in women than in men.

Is it any wonder that the CDC’s 2010 survey (correcting for their mis-categorization of female-on-male rape) found that 18.3% of women and 6.2% of men were victimized over their lifetimes?

Comparing the lifetime rate of sexual abuse for men and women is misleading in determining their relative risk of sexual violence, simply because men disclose childhood sexual abuse four times less often than women.

There may be many reasons for this. It’s unlikely that it’s due to sexual abuse being less impactful on men because studies have shown that sexual abuse does have a profound impact on men, and this includes female-on-male sexual abuse. For instance, the link between sexual abuse and suicide attempts is stronger in boys (Rhodes et al. 2001) and sexually abused boys are twice as likely to commit suicide (Molnar et al. 2001) than sexually abused girls. In addition to that, there is a risk factor for sexually abused men to sexually abuse others is if their abuser was female (Salter et al. 2003.)

One possible reason for men not disclosing, or even “forgetting”, is quite simple: our social narrative does not allow for, nor does it depict, the sexual abuse of males. To a degree it allows for the sexual abuse of boys by men, but not boys by women or adult men by anyone.

In a study on the effects of retention interval and gender on the perception of violence, Ahola et al. (2009) found that eyewitnesses rated female perpetrators less violent than male when reporting after an interval of one to three weeks as opposed to ten minutes. Ahola et al. (2009) proposed that over time eyewitnesses reinterpreted the behavior of perpetrators in order to conform to gender stereotypes regarding violence.

Widom and Morris (1997) propose that a similar process is occurring with male victims of sexual abuse (particularly by females) as, over time, they reinterpret their victimization to conform with the dominant social narrative regarding sexual abuse: that it happens to women and is perpetrated by men. They will do this by reframing their abuse as consensual or as a rite of passage or less violent than it was or by “forgetting” it completely. The more time passes, the more our memories conform to the dominant social narrative.

Gender differences in reporting and in perceptions of early childhood experiences may reflect early socialization experiences in which men learn to view these behaviors as non-predatory and non-abusive. Many of the sexual experiences considered to be sexual abuse (showing/touching sex organs, kissing in a sexual way) may be seen as developmental rites of passage, part of a learning process (Widom and Morris 1997.)

Note that this “forgetting” does not mean that there is no psychological effect; only that the source of that effect is buried, becoming a silent trigger for self-destructive behavior.

The Real Ratio of Male to Female Rapists

If we look at the more reliable statistic, the risk of rape in the last twelve months, and we fix the NIPSVS’s mistake in classifying forced envelopment as “other sexual assault” and not rape, we find that 80% of men report a female rapist and 98% of women report a male rapist. (This estimate is based on the sex of reported perpetrators for sexual assault over a lifetime. There is no reason to think the number of female perpetrators for ‘forced envelopment’ would decline between the lifetime and last year reports: if anything they would increase)

Since there were roughly equal numbers of men(forced to penetrate) and women(forced to envelop) raped in the last year, if we look at a population of 100 rape victims, 50 of which are male and 50 of which are female and apply the statistic that 80% of the male victims were raped by a woman, we get 40 male victims raped by a woman.

That works out to about 40% of rapists being female and 60% being male. A far cry from 95+% of rapists being male.[1]

Instant Female Victimhood, Just Add Media

The cautious and least sensationalistic position to take based on the NIPSVS’s findings is that men and women are most likely at an equal risk of rape and that the proportion of male to female rapists is not significantly gendered. [2]

But this is obviously not what anyone really wants to hear. Instead, the NIPSVS manufactured a non-existant female victimhood by first redefining rape to exclude the vast majority of female-on-male victimization. Then mainstream media (and other parties interested in female victimhood) followed up by selecting the statistic most likely to be fraught with reporting error while completely ignoring the more reliable statistic that suggests parity and further ignoring the ratio of female to male abusers (40/60).[3]

And so from a survey that strongly suggests that neither rape victimization nor rape perpetration is significantly gendered, we get a resounding shout of ‘MEN RAPE/WOMEN ARE RAPED!’

Men act, women are acted upon.

And the juggernaut rumbles on.

References

Ahola A. S., Justice needs a blindfold: Effects of defendants’ gender and attractiveness on judicial evaluation. 2010.

Black M., Basile K. C., Breiding M. J. , Smith S. G. , Walters M. L. , Merrick M. T, Chen J. and Steven M. R., The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey(NIPSVS): 2010 Summary Report, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, November 2011. (See especially pp18-19, page 24, & page 84 on how “made to penetrate” openly defined as not rape and thus relegated to something undefined.)

Rhodes A. E, Boyle M. H. , Tonmyr L., Wekerle C., Goodman D., Leslie B., Mironova P., Bethell J., and Manion I., Sex Differences in Childhood Sexual Abuse and Suicide-Related Behaviors, Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior 41(3) June 2011

Molnar B. E., Berkman L. F. and Buka S. L., Psychopathology, childhood sexual abuse and other childhood adversities : relative links to subsequent suicidal behaviour in the US, Psychological Medicine, 2001, 31, 965–977.

Salter D., McMillan D., Richards M., Talbot T., Hodges J., Bentovim A., Hastings R., Stevenson J., Skuse D., Development of sexually abusive behaviour in sexually victimized males: a longitudinal study, The Lancet, Vol. 361, February 8, 2003

Tjaden, P. & Thoennes, N. , Findings From the National Violence Against Women Survey(NVAWS), Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, National Institute of Justice, November 2000

Widom C. S. and Morris S., Accuracy of Adult Recollections of Childhood Victimization: Part 2. Childhood Sexual Abuse, Psychological Assessment, Vol. 9, No. l, 34-46, 1997

[1] When same-sex rape is excluded the ratio becomes 44/56 male/female rapists. One reason why same-sex rape should be excluded for an accurate picture of the gender proportions of rapists is because male-on-male rape may be inflated relative to female-on-female rape due to the large population of incarcerated and formerly incarcerated men. The greater rate of male-on-male rape may be a byproduct of more men cycling through society’s rape-camps (otherwise known as ‘prisons’) at a greater rate then women.

[2] The moderate skew in favor of male rapists may just be an artifact of using female interviewers. We won’t know for sure until a survey is done that doesn’t require male victims of female aggressors to disclose their victimization to a female interviewer. Likely the NIPSVS used female interviewers preferentially in order to capture as much female victimization as possible; the logic being that women would be more likely to disclose to another woman.

[3] The 80% rate of female perpetration of forced envelopment is based on the lifetime risk numbers. However, it’s likely that the ratio of male to female rapists who forced envelopment on a man does not change significantly between the twelve month and lifetime time frame. If there is any change, asking men to report sexual abuse by females over their lifetime likely undercounts the proportion of female rapists since female-on-male rape is not congruent with our social stereotypes regarding rape and gender. Additional data on this issue is provided by Predictors of Sexual Coercion. Although Predictors only studied college populations, it found a similar parityin rape victimization risk between men and women in the last twelve months. 2.3% of women and 3.0% of men reported forced sex, which gives a ratio of 57/43 female/male rapists.

Originally published on Typhon’s web site Genderratic and earlier this year on A Voice For Men. We also recommend her YouTube channel, Genderratic’s Curio Emporium.

About Alison Tieman (Typhonblue)

Alison Tieman (aka Typhonblue) is a Canadian writer and social observer. She is a Senior Contributor and Editor to A Voice for Men, penning superlative works that analyse gender-related behavior in men and women. She also writes for Genderratic, and is a founder and member of The Honeybadger Brigade.

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  • http://www.avoiceformen.com Dr. F

    I remember seeing “The World According to Garp” years ago and there was one scene it in that made me wonder.

    Glenn Close is a nurse and she straddles this unconscious bloke who has a constant erection. She gets pregnant as was her aim, but.

    When in doubt reverse the genders and see what comes shining through.

    Well, it seems a male protagonist fluffing himself before straddling some comatosed girl in a bed would cause the wheels of unsold movie tickets to remain fatly on their spindles forever.

    The film was pretty dull anyway, but how fascinating it would be as an iconic film of misogyny fired up on projectors in women’s studies 101 classes for the rest of time. “Look. Just look at the good guy in this film raping a woman. Yes sisters, this film of 1980 was accepted and ran in cinemas across the lands.”

    Typhon, as much as I like what I read here by your hand, you do realise I now have that scene I mentioned playing inside my head (on an unplugged projector of my own) and it will not stop for now?

    Apart from that however, your heavily backed assertions and analysis here are appreciated by me, and much thanks.

    • http://thedamnedoldeman.com TDOM

      I could be wrong, It’s been a while since I saw the movie, but I remember it as being at least a moderately anti-feminist movie. Garp (played by Robin Williams) was conceived when his mother raped a dying male soldier with the intent of becoming pregnant. She attempted to raise her son as the perfect male feminist, but his masculinity kept coming through. She eventually had to allow him to join a wrestling team even though she considered the sport vulgar. If I remember correctly, her outspoken advocacy for feminism and trashing of male sexuality was portratyed as traumatizing her son and was the source for his emotiional problems and many of his difficulties in life.

      • OneHundredPercentCotton

        Excellent and profound book – far superior to the movie. I read it decades ago, but still reference it from time to time.

        • Kimski

          Agreed, awesome book.
          Didn’t move from the armchair until it was finished, completely unable to put it down.
          -And then I watched the movie.. :(

          Great article, Typhon.
          The double standards are stunning.

          Considering how women act out when you refuse to have sex with them, along with the name calling and humiliation that entails, the numbers go way way above what you presented here.

          If they’re drunk it’s bad enough, and when they’re not, ‘we need to talk’ is brought to the table, and you can look forward to hours of yak-yak-yakke-ti-yak.

          I suspect a lot of men give in on that account, when presented with the alternatives.
          I know I did on more than one occasion.

      • http://www.avoiceformen.com Dr. F

        Ok mate I’ll revisit it. Thanks.

        I saw it when I was a kid and perhaps it wasn’t such the droll thing I thought it was way back then.

      • https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Voice-for-Men/102001393188684 Paul Elam

        Yes, and it was a Radfem who ultimately killed him in the end, as I recall.

        • Kimski

          It was.

          One day during practice, Pooh enters the gymnasium and shoots him at close range with a pistol, for attending a women-only gathering. Pooh were as mad as a hatter.
          Sounds like a feminist icon we all know, doesn’t it?

        • http://www.avoiceformen.com Dr. F

          Yes yes yes yes… ok I get it. I was wrong.

          That’s it. I am off to Fatboy’s camp for some free raw chicken leg and a group hug welcome from his kitty-litter residents.

        • Atlas Reloaded

          An “Ellen Jamesian”.

  • Militarytruthseeker

    Has anyone ever asked about the medias choice in women to present as female perps?

    I mean, there a multiple cases female on male sexual being used against younger males, but socially we seem to present, how do i say it…..

    Hottys. Ive mnoticed the only teachers we see in the media tend to be hot, or at least attractive.

    2 points: I feel this openly displays just how “shocked” feminist are that this happens especially when a pretty women who can seemingly do better based only on her looks settles for a minor. Kinda sexist, but its them saying it not me.

    Second, to me it looks like a not so hidden attempt at focusing attention at the male victim by creating a circus of “right of passage” frenzy, in that the young boy bagged a hot teacher. Somehow we dont feel as bad for the victim when the victimizer is sexually attractive, and the victim is male.

    The unspoken message here is that you cant rape the willing, which goes back to the beleif that men cant be raped.

    Its safe to assume this is a factor when sentancing comes around as well. Was the victim really a victim? how much of a victim can he be if hes a 16 year old boy, we know whats are like at that age (budding rapist depending on who you ask), and it looks like they are even taking sides with the female rapists!

    Because after all he really wanted it, so how bad can she be?

    Dont beleive me? Two words: Debra Lafave

    • Fidel Johnson

      Yes, Yes, yes …… I understand what you are saying…
      When I was in High School, there were certain teachers I was attracted to.
      And there were certain male teachers the girls in my class were attracted to.
      And they were far more vocal in their attractions then the guys were.

      This is why ‘statutory rape’ rules exist. The premise is that, even if the ‘victim’ consented to sex ( of either gender ), if they are underage, they do not have the ability of judgement, and therefore, due to their age cannot consent.

      Is this abuse ? I don’t know. I have been neither a victim nor perpetrator.

      But I do know, that many underage girls throw themselves at male teachers. They are labelled VICTIMS.
      Many male underage pupils have sex with women teachers in their thirties. They are labelled ‘respondents’.

  • http://www.deanesmay.com Dean Esmay

    Here’s an extreme case that, predictably, still isn’t covered right.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rvaS7E6Koeo

    Typhon told me once of a horrid story she read of a woman who took a drunk man and jammed a stick up his urethra to have sex with him while he was unconscious. Of course she didn’t actually go to jail or anything, even though she hospitalized him, probably fucked him up physically for life…

    • http://gloriusbastard.com/ JJ

      I remember reading that Dean, I think it was covered by fnf by Glenn Sacks a few years ago? Maybe 2009?

      Actually, she used her fist I thought?

      Either way, she did not get much of anything but probation. Do I have to say what would have happened if it was reversed?

      It also took a while to get it to trial!

      • OneHundredPercentCotton

        You are thinking of the woman in Longmont, CO who drugged a neighbor man and “fisted” him while impaired.

        No jail time, no sex offender registry, her victim was apalled at her mild punishment.

        She died shortly afterward…hopefully of shame.

        THE WEEKLY VICE: Janice McCarl – Woman Charged With Raping …

        http://www.theweeklyvice.com/…/janice-mccarl-woman-charged-wit…Share

        Jan 29, 2009 – Longmont, Colorado (The Weekly Vice) — Janice Lynette McCarl, a 53-year-old Longmont woman, … Rape is rape no matter man or woman.

  • AntZ

    Great article, thanks :)

  • http://thedamnedoldeman.com TDOM

    Great article TB.

  • Bubblesqueak

    Does anybody else think there maybe a connection
    to exaggeration in the numbers of actual rape and
    reporting to a cover of male victims ?

    Meaning if 50 women are really raped and reports in the news and acceptance by society say 80 whats happening is 30 male rapes being recognized if only by inference or as some type of honorary women.

    Being therefore the only way society will accept it being seen the feminists take this as meaning literal women when that is not what is meant.

    • Bubblesqueak

      That is if disregarding those rapes that men are supposed to deal with by themselves and not rely on society to help.

      Meaning if 30 recognized indirectly by society the others are considered his responsibility to deal with.

      So the actual number could be very similar to women’s sort of like the tip of an iceberg painted pink to be seen.

  • bowspearer

    I’m glad you brought this up Typhon. The reason I duked it out with you over the “blaming the victim” episode of AVfM radio is because the danger with going down that road without addressing this issue (that you have so eloquently raised here) at the same time, is that you wind up driving male victims back even further.

    The big flaw we have with the rape debate is that we as a society abhor the notion of a woman being blamed for being raped based on how she dresses (let alone based on whether her clit became engorged or her nipples hardened) but yet we have no qualms about equating a penis, especially an erect penis with automatic consent.

    Even more sickening is that this stereotype knows no bounds in terms of the age of consent and even extends so far as to regard the rape of an underage boy by a female paedophile as a “rite of passage”.

    It’s in this climate that I am one of the countless unreported victims out there. I have no doubt that there are countless more, feeling worthless but falsely believing they either “got lucky” or are “in the closet”…

    • http://shatterdmen.com/ shatteredmen

      @ bowspearer “we have no qualms about equating a penis, especially an erect penis with automatic consent.”

      Recently, a woman sued a man for child support because she got pregnate when she sat up top of him. Yes he did have an erection so by most legal standards, it would be said the man consented….only one problem….it wasa POST morturm erection. He was DEAD and the undertakers aide who was suppose to wash and respect the body, well you can figure out the rest.

      • Mark

        How’s she going to sue him for child support then; usually it’s a percentage of earnings and he can’t earn a lot dead.

    • Mark Wharton

      I have yet to meet a man that thinks a woman deserves to be raped based on how she dresses. It is a huge strawman by feminists.

  • Near Earth Object

    Good read.
    Statistics are interesting.

  • aporiac

    Great article!

    I’ve looked at the NISVS report is some detail, including the questionnaire. I’d dearly love to see the raw result data, which doesn’t seem to be available, rather than the particular collations and summaries chosen by the authors to include in their report. I suspect there is useful information to be mined in that data however flawed it may be.

    There seems to be a fundamental misunderstanding about human anatomy which informs the design of the survey. I don’t know why this didn’t scream out at the people involved in producing it. The basic problem has to do with difference between the primary sex organs of men versus women. For physiological reasons you can’t easily penetrate the penis (unless we’re speaking about the urethra). If you look at specific questions concerning sexual assaults where there are male tracks or female tracks according to the sex of the interviewee, the vagina or anus usually features in the female track, but only the anus in the male track. So, for example, for an assault using fingers or an object, the questionnaire will only record assaults against men if the anus is penetrated. Biology dictates that if you use your fingers to assault a woman’s sex organ, it’s likely to involve some degree of penetration. If you do the same to a man, it is unlikely to involve a degree of penetration because penises can’t be penetrated! However, in both cases the primary sex organ is the target of the assault. The people who designed the survey don’t seem to recognise this. The male equivalent to the vagina is taken to be the anus. Even the most basic biology text books don’t make this error!

    Another interesting aspect of the physiological bias is the way it contradicts the accepted discourse about sexual assault being about power. According to the theory, power is expressed through an attack on the person’s sexuality, breaching a boundary over which they should be able to exercise control. According to the NISVS survey, however, a woman grabbing a man’s dick is different to a man grabbing a woman’s vagina. But if the act is understood in terms of power then the two acts are the same. In both cases what matters is the symbolic encroachment on the sexuality of the person through encroaching on their sex organ. In terms of sexual identity, the penis plays the role for a man that the vagina plays for a woman. One of the tracks where the divergence occurs is in determining whether a rape has occurred. It seems that a woman can be ‘raped’ by man’s fingers, but a man can’t be raped by a woman’s fingers unless she attacks his anus. Interestingly, the accepted standard is different in the case of children – ‘fiddling’ with the sex organ of a little boy is generally considered to be equivalent to fiddling with the sex organ of a little girl. Presumably at some cut-off point the interpretation given to this activity changes in the case of boys. This is part of the myth of male agency. When a male cannot consent because he is a child, playing with his penis means one thing. When he’s grown up and merely withholds his consent it means something else. In the latter case, there is an implicit assumption that he is in control.

    Somewhat at a tangent, the whole question of arousal is worth exploring because it bears on the way biological assumptions influence social meanings. The issue here is the reluctance to classify the penis being “enveloped” as rape. Part of what drives this logic is the knowledge that penetration without an erection is unlikely. The argument, of course, is that if a man has an erection he must be sexually aroused and therefore he is an active participant to at least some degree. However, if we accept this logic then the same logic dictates that if a woman manifests arousal during forced sex she is also an active participant and is not, strictly speaking, being raped. But we have a great deal of documentary evidence of female arousal during rape, in some cases women describing being brought to orgasm. Part of the recommended counselling of female rape victims involves dealing with any potential feelings of guilt about being sexually aroused. It is explained to them that it doesn’t lessen the rape. I wouldn’t argue against this, but I would say the same phenomenon provides a simple explanation for how some rapes can be perpetrated against men.

    The problem that feminists face is that female on male rape becomes better understood the more you pursue an equality argument. That is why despicable sleights of hand and blatant hypocrisies are always an essential element of any feminist ‘analysis.’

  • mark

    i would call it part of the agenda to drive up conviction rates at the expense of justice in line with the political agenda diatripe.
    she was aroused, brought to orgasm and you say would´nt disagree ever with this! room for quite some doubt id say but nevermind i digress from the point im gona make.
    of course we are all against `real rape` surely we`re all aware that at least a third of rapes maybe up to 50% of all rapes are BS, never happened. or the woman decide it was rape later when she felt ashamed and `guilty`of her decision to have sex with a man she didn`t know or know much and tell her BF days later she has beed `raped`
    twice i was watching TV and a news item came on about someone who was alleged to have done something or just `fems` wanting to discuss the subject to gain more publicity when talking about stalking in the same breath as stalking is now a crime in many western countrys because it had been pushed into becoming only by womens groups and these anti-stalking orgs were funded by`secret lobbyists` to spread the message and now they are pushing on countrys `where its not perceived or recognized to be a problem in their particular culture` anyway thats virtually the quote from the material, apologize for no link,
    one main one calls itself european something anti-stalking, (anything with the word european in its title , means its part of an agenda ,
    we know they promote policy and eventually enact the legislation according to the set agenda after they,ve `tested public opinion` and used the media for that.
    one more thing to finish on,
    i have heard and seen on TV`in a `media` interview the interviewer say to the interviewee `so you say `rape is not rape` and i think thats called a double bind right?
    i really want to know the best reply to someone who ever says that to me or any of you?

  • Gman9999

    I ran into this online ….DEAR ABBY: I am a male victim of domestic violence. I was traumatized for five years at the hands of my ex. I suffered through name-calling, physical and sexual abuse. Once, when she was upset, she hit me with her car and dragged me across our parking lot.
    I tried several times to leave only to find that in my community there was no help for men in situations like mine. There are women’s shelters everywhere, but none that cater to men and their children. I ended up having to return home, and things just got worse.
    I finally left with the shirt on my back and a few belongings. Because I couldn’t find help, I slept on the street.
    I am now a survivor and attending school to become a social worker. I have been trying to raise awareness of men as abuse victims, but it’s an uphill battle. Why? — EMPOWERED IN CENTRAL WISCONSIN
    DEAR EMPOWERED: It’s probably because of outdated gender stereotypes and lack of awareness by the law enforcement in your community that women as well as men can be psychopaths. When your wife ran you down in the parking lot, she should have wound up behind bars, assuming the police were called.
    While female-on-male domestic violence is reported less often than male-on-female violence, it does happen, as anyone who reads my column regularly knows. Men who need help should call the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women — the toll-free number is 888-743-5754 — because help is available.

    • axia777

      I was also physically abused by my ex wife. I was too ashamed to report it. She has a temper and loves to punch. I could have fought back and most likely kicked her ass. Then it’s jail time for me for self defense. Besides, I really didn’t want to hit the woman I loved. Society is so blind is pathetic.

  • DukeLax

    I believe if the MRM cannot dismantle the “manufactured statistics Alliances” that have poisoned American law enforcement over the last 25 years, we will soon be realizing that hetero-relationships for men in the US…have become a legal liability.

  • zx74125800

    With all due respect, what a load of crap. This kind of pseudo-science is used to dis-credit any men’s right movement. 40% of women are rapists? Are 40% of all domestic violence cause by women, could be, but that is lost when you cite rape “statistics”. The goal is gender neutrality before the law, treating violent, mostly alcoholic, women as violent mostly alcoholic men are treated-as criminals. Whatever the percentages are.

    • OldandNavy

      You pulled up there, at the end but still knocked the wings off.

      There cannot be gender neutrality before a body ADMINISTERING the law if the current victim/victimiser narrative (and all it includes) isn’t challenged and dismantled.

      That was the collective point you missed there.

      Oh, and check the references of this pretty well thought out piece. You read the cited material and THEN cried “pseudo-science”, right?

      I would urge you to hit the books on the peer review process a bit and then call the Lancet up and let them know what you think of the researchers they are letting publish these days.

  • http://ludovicurbain.blogspot.be/ Ludovic Urbain

    All things being equal, if the only factors present favor one group to report and one to not report, the reporting statistics should not be used as such.

    In all the feminist vs the world cases, I see a tendency of non-feminists to start by conceding some portion of truth to the extremists.

    The real numbers probably have a lot more female offenders, simply because female are more likely to disguise the facts or control the victim, male are less likely to report, male are conditioned to white knight and protect, female are conditioned to be irresponsible.

    At the animal level, there is no evidence of one sex being a worse offender than the other.
    At the social level, there are a lot more rules that prevent male crime than female crime.
    Therefore, it is only logical that there would be a lot more female crime than male crime.

    Whenever the statistics do not show that picture, you have to ask how it is possible, what chain of causes and consequences gave those results.

    At this time, I’m fully convinced that measurement errors are responsible for this skewed picture.

    In my opinion, if you consider all the limiting factors for males only, it is likely that there are about three times more female than male psychopaths, rapists and physical abusers.

    Female psychopaths are a lot more likely to push their victims to suicide without any physical interaction and will never be suspected or prosecuted.

    Female rapists are a lot more likely to mindrape their victim before they get to the sexual part, and it will take another fifty years before we get any kind of decent reporting rate on that.

    Female physical abusers are a lot more likely to never be reported, thanks to their own influence or the culture of the victim.

    A whole fuckton more, not almost parity or some kind of shit.

    Statistics on (female) crimes today are like an Iceberg: we can see a small part consisting of the people who are victims, realize they are victims, realize they should report it, and actually do so.

    And then there’s the rest.

    The proportion of emerged and submerged can be guessed based on visible external factors, and all those factors amount to “women are pushed to report anything and everything” and “male don’t even realize they are victims most of the time”.

    There is such a deep chasm between the level of awareness of males and that of females that any statistics reporting quasi-equality imply factors of two or three at a minimum.

  • axia777

    I’m coming out and sharing a very personal story that is very much related to this editorial. I was raped by my female cousin. I’m male and I was about 12 at the time.

    My cousins were visiting for the week. Alice was around 15 at the time. I awoke one night to her having sex with me. I being 12 had little to no idea what the hell was happening. I quickly learned how little control I had over my own body. It was over rather quickly. Afterwards she just left without a word. I was deeply ashamed and confused by what had happened.

    Over the coming weeks my parents noticed a change in me. They kept digging at me as good parents should to figure out what the hell was wrong. Eventually I told them. Guess what happened next?

    My parents confronted her parents. I wasn’t privy to the conversation but I was informed that I had raped get. At least from her parents and the police perspective.

    I was raped and no one did a damn thing. I guess women don’t rape.

    Fuck feminism and it’s supporters. I sincerely hope they all drop off the face of the earth.

    • Jack Strawb

      I’m truly sorry you went through this. I know it’s little consolation, but thank you for speaking out.

      • axia777

        Thank you for the well wishes.

  • Jack Strawb

    Astoundingly thoughtful and well-written. Now in my list of go-to articles when arguing against older, skewed definitions of rape, and of who is raped.

  • Alastair Haines

    Thanks for a great post, Alison.
    Very tidy reasoning. Good call about agency.
    I think something often overlooked about agency is that self-restraint is part of agency. Likewise, lack of inhibitions is part of losing agency, being under the influence of something outside oneself. But that heads off on a tangent to the main point of the article.
    Thanks again.