Waking up in a war
Several years ago, I stumbled across a document called “The Shaming Tactics Catalog”. This is a list of 16 logical fallacies commonly used by ideological feminists to shame men and silence dissenting opinion. The Female Masculinist gave these tactics a thorough fisking, and a copy of the shaming tactics catalog sits on my laptop’s desktop, and remains an invaluable tool when parsing the lies and abuse all MRAs must deal with when arguing for the human rights of men.
Since that document’s creation, the Men’s Rights Movement (MRM) has moved into a new phase. Specifically, the mainstream opponents of male human rights are no longer able to pretend we don’t exist, and have begun to attack. Troublesome as this can be at a personal level, it signals the growing success and effectiveness of the MRM. However, as good as that development is, it requires adoption of a few new tactics by individual men.
We aren’t simply a protest movement anymore, we’re going to have to shift to a activist mentality.
A previous version of this page made frequent use of the word “war”, and some critics claimed that this was pointlessly inflammatory. Many of the tactics of activism being developed and pursued by MRAs are done within the frame of mind of “guerrilla activism” (not to be confused with guerrilla warfare) but with a clear intention of disrupting established social conventions and memes in which male disposability, human damage and marginalization is accepted without thought.
If you’re new to the Men’s Rights Movement, or you’re a feminist, or just stupid, you might need a bit of background to appreciate the need for this article’s content. A summarized background is provided for you here.
This is a war waged against human rights, and those of us who identify as MRAs are a tiny minority fighting an establish mainstream. The past and present attempts to personally smear and destroy individual men seen so far are just the beginning of a fight , which, examining the ramping up of oppositional rhetoric and behaviour is becoming ugly. While we must and do continue to adhere to strictly truthful rhetoric and ethical tactics, our opponents apparently do not, and we should not expect them to. There is money to be made, and political power to be grasped in denigrating masculinity. The men’s right’s movement directly threatens the income of war profiteers. However, the war in question is not a simple “war of sexes” rather, it’s a longer program, eroding the human rights of everybody, although detailed exploration of this is beyond the scope of this discussion
It occurs that a document to compliment the shaming tactics catalog is needed. A logical name for this might be “Personal Defamation Defence Tactics”. It must be noted at this point that a discussion of defensive tactics does not suggest adoption of a wholly defensive strategy. In fact, forthcoming discussion on this site and elsewhere will be focusing increasing on an offensive footing. The defence discussed in this letter should be treated as basic protective measures of anyone in a dangerous environment. As matters stand presently, we are a society of men being assaulted on all sides, but we’ve been socialized to walk around naked while our opponents flay us. Such easy cooperation with those who would harm us has to stop.
I will attempt in the remainder of this article to provide a foundation for such a defensive handbook, although I have no illusion that what I suggest here is comprehensive. It is a start. A complete Personal Defamation Defence Tactics document may be impossible, and certainly any useful version of this proposed guide will be a larger and much more complex work than the shaming tactics catalog.
Additions to this document are welcome, and should be submitted as comments to this article.
Just Because You’re Paranoid, Doesn’t Mean People Aren’t Out to Get You.
As a man, you still have some legal rights on paper. Sadly, in practice you have almost none. You are at the mercy and whim of women and of a profit-driven legal system which views you as guilty by your sex, and which will fabricate excuses to for any crime against you by a woman. Does this sound like hyperbole? If so, then you haven’t been reading the news. If you’re an adult, wake the fuck up and take a few measures to protect yourself, because the law will not do so.
Find Out When Your Enemies Are Smearing You
When to use this : [ all the time ]
This is a monitoring tool provided by Google which allows you to receive email notification when new content matching a specified key-phrase is crawled by google’s indexer.
As a minimum, your name and your online username should be watched for – so that you will know who is lying about you, and when they do it.
Record Selected Phone Calls
When to use this [ before sex, after sex, prior to a break-up, during a break up]
Where it is legal to do so, you can record calls on your cell phone using a number of free applications.
The Android platform makes this possible with an application called “sanity” from Cristiano Tagliamonte.
ADDENDUM: in 2012 – many of the current generation of smart phones are limited by hardware design which separates incoming audio from microphone audio. This hardware design uses battery power more efficiently, but makes development of voice recording software difficult (and sometimes impossible).
For many cell phones, recording calls can only be accomplished with the phone in speaker-mode.
If your model cannot record calls due to hardware limitations, calls can also be recorded by placing the phone in speaker mode next to a laptop with sound recording software running. Or by making calls using Skype, with a software plugin to record calls.
One application of this is any time you’ve had sex for the first time in a new relationship. Phone her afterwards, in fact, do it immediately as you leave afterwards. Allow yourself no possibility that she won’t answer. Make small talk, ask her how much she liked getting shagged, be sweet. And don’t forget: RECORD THE CALL, because this call is recorded for quality assurance and training purposes, and to keep you out of jail. If, later on she decides for whatever reason to throw a rape accusation at you, you’ve got the recording to save your ass.
Where Legal, Use a Voice Recorder
A number of free voice recording applications for cell phones can be downloaded – but cell phones are generally kept in a pocket – muffling voices and rendering recorded conversations of minimal use. An external mic such as a headset can significantly reduce this problem.
Carry a camera
As MRAs come under increasing attack in the media – some of that hostility can spill into the real world as well. This was made glaringly obvious in the summer of 2012 as MRM posting campaigns became active in a number of Canadian cities. Cell phone cameras are nearly universally available – and capturing video of harassment or interference can turn an incident of possible violence by opponents of male human rights into a public relations win. However,
a cell phone camera is less than ideal for several reasons. Almost all cell phone cameras require multiple button-pushes on a touch-screen to use. This is far from reliable in bright sunlight, or when adrenalin is pumping in a stressful situation.
At present, the very best camera for self protective video recording is called the GoPro “hero”. This is a body-worn camera designed for extreme sports enthusiasts. It is $ 200 to $ 300, depending on accessories, and comes with a durable plastic casing which includes mount-points and strap-openings. This is the camera AVfM recommends for activist MRAs.
Keep a Journal
Where to use this : [ before, during and after a relationship ]
This is particularly useful in situations of divorce, spousal separation and domestic turbulence.
If you find yourself at war with your wife or girlfriend a low-tech handwritten journal can save your life, and keep you out of jail. A history of “normal” journal entries prior to issues of conflict will be useful in establishing the stress and pain created by attacks against you by your ex wife or girlfriend. Use a notebook with a traditional binding – not a spiral bound or a 3-ring style binder. Also, never tear pages out of your journal, as that will be used to present a case against you of fabricating a false history.
Back up your records on removable media
When to use this : [ all the time ]
If you cover your ass by keeping emails, text messages, and recorded conversations – but you loose access to those files because your laptop is stolen or seized – then you’re screwed aren’t you.
Back those files up on removable media – and store the backup device in a separate location.
A two terabyte external hard drive costs about a hundred dollars.
Don’t share accounts with anyone, ever
When to use this : [ all the time ]
This is a mistake made by seemingly intelligent people and it’s easy to avoid by understanding the nature of digital accounts. By digital accounts, I mean email, instant message, online identities, bank accounts, credit cards, google accounts, and more.
A digital account with a username and password is an identity, if it’s your username and password, then it’s YOUR identity. Your wife doesn’t go in person to the bank wearing a disguise – dressed as you; that would be a criminal act, even if she did it with your blessing. If you share your usernames and passwords, you’re encouraging your spouse to masquerade as you. Even in a healthy relationship, this is a bad idea. Your digital-identity is your identity.
Failure to understand this will lead you to jail, or will cause your money, your house, your possessions, and your credit rating to disappear.
Don’t share your computer. This is a tough one for the technically-challenged. Many couples share accommodations in a scenario in which there is only one computer. The answer to this is separate accounts. If you own the machine – DO NOT give anyone else an account with administrative access, a basic user account is plenty – and I’ll note, more access than anyone else gets on my personal computers.
And if you do share a computer – with separate user accounts, log out when you’re away from the machine, and do not share your password.
If you think this is excessive – consider this scenario: Your girlfriend is angry with you, or she’s dumping you, or you’re dumping her and that makes her angry and vengeful. She visits a porn site and fills your browser cache with questionable, or illegal porn. Then she calls the police and accuses you of striking her. While the police are attending, she accidentally mentions your nasty porn habit.
Now you have no job, and a you’re on the sex offender registry, because prior to break up – you bought into that “relationships are built on trust”. In truth, relationships ARE built on trust, but if you conflate that in your mind with sharing user accounts, well, you’ll be cooked.
Do you still think sharing passwords is no big deal?
Relationship Hazards and Red Flags
In romantic relationships, women enjoy almost supreme power. Every man in a romantic relationship owes his freedom from prison, his continued employment, and continued ownership of his possessions, including home, to the whim of his wife or girlfriend. Figuratively speaking, a husband or boyfriend is a man walking through life with an invisible, loaded pistol pointed at him. His wife of GF has her finger on the figurative trigger.
As a man, you won’t be socially, legally, or financially destroyed in a divorce if you never enter into the legal entanglement of marriage. But since humans are social animals, men will continue to form romantic relationships with women. What they can do is reduce the hazards through a bit of awareness, and a few rules of thumb.
These suggestions can be, and have been read as dehumanizing to women, which although not intended in the writing, may be the impression if reading from a particular point of view. The suggestions here, however insulting they may be to some readers cannot be omitted if a commitment to preventing harm and to valuing honesty continues to inform the site’s editorial policy.
Do not get involved with single mothers.
There are a number of reasons to raise a child without a father, and many of them are reasonable and legitimate. Romantic relationships, including marriages can fail for a variety of reasons.
However, it is also true that some single mothers have chosen to discard or to eject a father from the life of his children, counting on the reliable apparatus of the state to finance this decision.
A woman who chose to have, or to raise a child without a father, deeming him unnecessary, inconvenient or simply of insufficient utility demonstrates terrible, selfish values. In such cases, single motherhood demonstrates the conception of men as sperm donors and child support payers, NOT husbands & fathers.
Be aware that if you get involved with this type of single mother, you are nothing except the next human cash dispenser, for somebody else’s kid.
In addition, unless she’s mentally unwell, her child will always take priority over you. This is just fine as long as you buy into the idea of men as exploitable utilities and yourself as a disposable appliance. If this is you, stop wasting the bandwidth of this site, moron.
The kid, by the way, has nothing invested in you, but may decide a good path to personal celebrity victimhood is accusing you of molestation. The reward to the child is huge, and the penalty to the child minimal, even in the event of discovery.
Do not involve yourself with strippers.
Because all strippers are sociopathic monsters? No, it’s just a job some women do, many of whom are reasonable people making a living. However, any job anyone does occurs within a culture in which male utility is valued over male humanity.
The sole purpose of a strip club is to exploit the sexual desires, frusrations and lonliness of men for financial gain. This applies to the strippers as well as the management.
Strippers make their living in an environment where they are worshipped based on ownership of female reproductive organs and breasts. Strippers are businesspeople whose business is shaking down male punters for tips. If you date a stripper, you are dealing with a woman whose employment has trained her to regards you as a cash dispensing appliance.
Of course, not all strippers are like that, and if you’re a stripper reading this, obviously, its not you, it’s somebody else we’re describing.
But for men who want a significantly increased chance of your girlfriend stealing your possessions, attracting drugs and criminals into your life, and generally fucking your life up, well, just date a stripper. And in a year or so, send us a post card from your own version of hell.
And obviously, not all strippers are like that.
NEVER buy breasts for your wife or girlfriend
Fake breasts are a sexual advertisement. If your wife or girl wants them that means she’s seeking to attract heightened male attention, generally with the idea that a man will pay the tab on the plastic surgery. This is the same as your employer advertising an opening in the job position you hold. New fake boobs means you are about to be replaced. If you pay for them, you are moron.
Do not date, period.
That does not mean don’t get laid, though we remind all men that there is no RDA on vagina. We encourage you to consider that getting laid and dating are two very different things.
Dating is an artifact from the now defunct marriage 1.0 environment. It implies structured roles and concepts like courtship. All this puts men at a disadvantage, financially, socially and ultimately legally. See Roissy for good information on how to get sex from women without commitment, either emotional or financial. Or, just buy a whore. Dating, in the traditional model with the man paying and risking sexual rejection, can be best described as a negotiation with a hooker that might not deliver services after being paid. And it is a social norm that for many men, leads to consequences that far outweigh it’s benefits.
This document is incomplete – your suggestions for additions can be submitted as comments to this article. The intent here is to build, though reader participation, a virtual Encyclopedia of Male Self Defence. We want to cover everything from protecting yourself from possible false allegations, to what to do after one is made; from how to handle yourself in a divorce (including how to prevent one by not getting married to begin with) to how to prevent paternity fraud.
Ultimately all the information will be organized and categorized for easy reference. It will be given a permanent, easily accessible page here at AVfM.