Paper Alpha

I was a paper alpha

I remember a time when public opinion questioned the playing of the game Dungeons and Dragons. It was and is a role playing game that millions of kids engaged and the fear was that it may be twisting their sense of reality. I’ve never been a role play gamer myself, my forte is cribbage accompanied by some good conversation and refreshment. In fact I’m not a sports gamer either, if I can’t play I’m certainly not going to armchair it. But I’m not now, nor have I ever been your add 2 cups of water a teaspoon of salt and bring to a boil kind of guy.

I was however introduced to an interesting role playing game when I was 19, It was a relationship role playing game that ended in marriage. I wasn’t very good at it, simply because I didn’t have a grip on the rules of that particular edition of the game. In fact the game ended 24 years later rather poorly. If you play this kind of game and find yourself losing over and over it makes sense to stop playing and get on with something more rewarding. You know so there’s no loss of life. If you suck at it, why spoil the game for those that would like to keep playing.

I was however introduced to an interesting role playing game when I was 19, It was a relationship role playing game that ended in marriage.
When I first sat down to play this game, I was assigned the role of dungeon husband and told that there was no unique powers. Just play it like I’m a guy and if I was astute enough I could attain patriarchal powers that would extend out and influence other players. To start the game I had to run around the board with diminished powers because I had no golden diploma to unlock the vaults to credit. But if I could get around the board fast enough I could accumulate credits. I could then assign some toward the benefit of other players to garner future patriarchal powers and some towards a golden diploma.

Seemed pretty straight forward, except that the other players kept getting into jeopardy circumstances and forfeiting the credits that I was extending. So I wasn’t really accumulating any patriarchal powers of influence and I had to keep using any credits I had saved to get the golden diploma powers. But, ever forward I played. A couple of times I lost my turn and was unable to gain any credits, I was constantly threatened with being ejected from the game if I couldn’t provide more credits to the other players.

There’s definitely some really strange twists to the whole aspect of gaining power and credits, that seemed to make sense but didn’t. Like when you move around the board there are aspects that help make it easier to move quicker and gain more credits. The weird one is seximacy, it’s a combination of interplay where you exchange intimacy and sex. The idea is it gives you well-being powers that are like confidence, and esteem powers, to make it easier. You do this with the gamer that you give credits to too acquire patriarchal powers. But if you’re not careful during seximacy you can actually create another player that requires even more credits. If this happens before you accumulate enough patriarchal powers then you forfeit all your credits to your partner each time they’re acquired. After a while I was just giving all my credits to my partner.

The seximacy thing was weird because if my partner didn’t like the amount of credits I was making I wouldn’t get any well-being powers which actually made it harder to earn credits. Well during one turn my partner had been planning to create another player and did. Shortly after the new player was created, there was no more seximacy, which lasted for two years. I found also that my partner kept referring to my patriarchal powers and how the influence was affecting her ability to play and gain credits of and on her own. Except I wasn’t using that power cause I hadn’t accumulated any. Each time I tried to use it to help gain credits or prevent losing credits it never worked.

Like in one turn my partner wanted to relocate on the board but we didn’t have enough credits to achieve the move. I tried to use my patriarchal powers to influence her to wait, didn’t work I didn’t have any. We lost all the credits during that turn and other people were giving us intermittent credits just to keep us in the game. Of course, all those credits have to be paid back as you go around the board. If you don’t do it quick enough, sometimes you lose other powers to earn credits.

I never really got the whole aspect of the patriarchal power thing. Initially I could see how during some moves there is an obvious conflict that can arise, so I figured the patriarchal power thing might be good to mediate the outcome towards the best effect during that move. But it never actually worked that way. It was more like patriarchal powers were what my partner used as a device to gain more credits and control how I moved, like it was some kind of foul I was committing. Like a red flag. So it was really something that helped my partner acquire more credits that I didn’t have access to.

The one aspect of the game that really sucks is you can’t change identities if you are a dungeon husband. Which of course nobody told me when we started this fucking game.
I figured that if I sucked at earning credits I could switch with my partner, earn some of the credits, control the use of the credits and take care of the new players. I figured that if I did that I could save enough to gain a golden diploma by really focusing on the best use of the credits. My partner said there was no switching. So I pretty much was unable to gain a golden diploma and get access to the credit vault.

Given those circumstances it’s not hard to figure out the game is really rigged and there’s just no way. I tried one of those power gamble moves where you go off the board and you create special items to sell to the other players for credits. It started out pretty good and I quickly started acquiring more credits, until my partner started influencing other players not to let me play this way. I could never really understand, because all the credits were going straight to my partner. My partner figured that I might be earning extra credits and not handing them over.

It’s one of those game scenarios where the partner tries to control the outcome and control all the credits so you can’t alter the game. But when the game score is negatively affected you have to eat the shit for it, because you have no real patriarchal power. The whole thing was a useless attempt to play a game that became so contorted with control and power that even trying to fix it was useless. Of course as dungeon husband it’s all you’re fault because you are the one out there trying to get the credits to gain additional powers so the partner players have an easier time with the game. What a waste of time and effort.

Once I caught on to the real play and how this would never pan out I figured the best choice was to withdraw from the game. Hey what’s the point? Gee it only took me 24 years to figure out that I had a partner that was really playing against me the whole time. I packaged the thing up and decided the best choice was to return it, find something better to play. I walked into the store and told the guy I wanted to return it, wasn’t what I had in mind as a progressive game. The outcome was too predictable and the rules were not properly outlined. I leaned forward and whispered to him, you know who ever developed this game should be shot in the fucking head. He smiled as he processed the return and said, that’s funny we often hear those exact remarks from gamers, right up till we finish processing the return. His face and expression went stone cold he looked me straight in the eye and said, I have processed your order here sir the total is $600 dollars a month.

Wow I thought, at least it’s not a total loss, until he asked if I would be paying by credit card or cash.

About J Galt

John is a father, writer, social commentator and mentor to young men. He is a regular contributor to A Voice for men focusing mainly on gender politics and pervasive social illusions.

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  • Nelrond

    That is an amazing telling. Now everybody has got to read this.

    • Masculist Man


      Where is the VAWA grant money going?

      That’s what I asked:

      • heavywx
        • heavywx

          I know this is off topic, I think the article was awesome btw, but I just had to post this.

          The debt ceiling not being raised has the feminists quaking in thier boots. If it doesn’t get raised, the feminists will be cut off from a vast portion of thier funding from big daddy gov. It may not cut off the head of the feminist snake, but it might deal a deadly blow.

          NOW has gone as far as developing chants around the debt ceiling deal.

          I can’t stop laughing

          • Masculist Man

            I can’t stop laughing

            If you’re laughing now hold on to your sides because you’ll really be laughing when you read this:

            NOW’s Media Hall of Shame
   web siteNY Post Stoops Lower than Usual to Discredit DSK Accuser
            Offender: Reporter Laura Italiano and her editors

            Media Outlet: New York Post

            The Offense: In a July 2 cover story, the New York Post attempted to discredit the woman who was allegedly raped by Dominique Strauss-Kahn by labeling her a prostitute. The cover screams “DSK MAID A HOOKER” in huge type. Inside, writer Italiano provides very little beyond gossip, depending heavily on puns such as “big tips for extra turndown service” to convey this completely unsubstantiated accusation.

            NOW’s Analysis: Italiano jumps right into the piece, claiming that the 32-year-old mother and alleged rape survivor “wasn’t just a girl working at a hotel — she was a working girl.”

            Throughout the article, Italiano’s harsh rhetoric and unsupported accusations portray the accuser as a “pathological liar and scam artist” willing to do anything for quick cash. Based on quotes from an unnamed source, the accuser supposedly had been “getting extraordinary tips . . . And it’s not for bringing extra f–king towels.” With no evidence, the reader is meant to align the accuser’s income with prostition. After all, how else would this hotel maid be able to pay for her “hair braiding” and “salon expenses?”

            The case for prostitution continues as Italiano’s source speculates that the accuser’s union “purposely assigned” her to such a high-class hotel because “it knew she would bring in big bucks.” Recently, The Washington Post revealed that the union in question actually sent the New York Post a packet of documents on the accuser, including a copy of an employment application she filled out at the Sofitel, in which she listed the International Rescue Committee (not the union) as the source that referred her to the hotel.

            There are countless problems with this article, two of which should greatly concern feminists. First, claiming (with no evidence and only one anonymous source) that an immigrant woman working as a hotel maid is actually a “hooker” is sexist, racist and classist, to say the least. Second, implicit in this accusation is that a prostitute cannot be raped, or that any claim she makes of being raped should not be taken seriously. Even the New York Post should be held to a standard that says promoting harmful stereotypes and demonstrating such blatant misogyny are unacceptable.

            Take Action: The accuser is currently taking action by filing a libel suit against the New York Post for labeling her a prostitute. Take your own action by writing to the New York Post and giving them a piece of your mind.

            Marisella Rodriguez, Communications Intern, July 13, 2011

            More offenders in : Violence Against Women, Print Publications, Racism, Media Hall of Shame, Economic Injustice


  • J3DIforce1

    Dude!! Im sooo showing this article to my friday night D&D crowd.Ive been trying hard as hell to g et their white knight asses on the MM band wagon for some time now. And now at last I can do it with this article. It will speak their language. Who would have thought all I had to do was tell them they can be a level 35 MRA with a Fem resistance of +20 with a manhood bonus that stacks ×2 which overlaps your mandatory mangina weakness of -5 Fem speak. Yes…I can do this.

    • James Huff

      Excellent..I have been playing RPGs for 26 years now. I am sure my Pathfinder group would like this as well.

  • Dungeon Dick : Keithrond

    Hey I have the ultimate respect for gamers. They know when to stop playing. What’s funny is feminists don’t. My son plays DD he says the games great just for applying and developing general skills.

    • Dr. F

      Keith, this is my favourite of your writes.

      An absolutely smashing and most rippingly-ist collection of satire festooned with a myriad of world truths woven as gossamer throughout with an unfettered belligerence oft set as mitigation against the unbridled lash of assumed patriarchal luminance so known and so never needed to be spake.

      Aw fuggit. Forget that shit.

      What I am trying to say is that you consistently write so damned well and your sense of satire has my attention and respect.

      Of note: Please contact me for illustration/s for any future articles if you think (my ridiculously incredible talent never ever seen before anywhere ever upon reflection) I might suit.

      • Keithrond

        Imagine a you tube video called “the enigma move for gamers”
        with the narrator wearing a big D&D cloak describing the paradox of the marriage game. HaHaHaHa!! And then returning it.

        • Patrice Stanton

          (Your byline is missing from the post)

          It was a little hard for me to ‘get’ at first – not a gamer – but I caught on eventually. The ending was especially clever: $600…per month.

          • scatmaster

            $600…per month.

            Any amount is IMO legalized blackmail.
            Having said that I had a buddy of mine who went through a divorce in 1993 and was (and still is) paying $1,800.00 per month. The former wife has a Library & Info Studies Masters Degree and has not worked a day since. She got the house full and clear that he built by himself with the help of one or two outside contractors for city hookups, etc. Oh by the way his income at the time was $1,200.00 per pay check after taxes which in 1993 was a fairly decent (still is) wage. Basically they took seventy five percent (my math sucks) of his wage for alimony in perpetuity and still are. His wage has actually dropped from that lofty union position job as of course he is a white male and we know what that means. The last time I saw him this robust young man had turned into death warmed over. In his early fifties I predict he will be dead in the next few years.

          • scatmaster

            Why are my posts always going into moderation now?
            Is someone mad at me?

          • Denis

            You probably weren’t logged in.

          • scatmaster

            D’oh. Thanks Denis. That was probably it.

  • Sting Chameleon

    Remember to tell them about the feats they could master if they switch to the MRA class, and all the class bonuses they could get to fight Femborgs. But the catch is that switching to the MRA class has a hefty EXP cost and several negative social modifiers.

    • Fizzy

      Yeah, charisma takes a hit, but the saving throw vs. enchantment bonus is well worth it.

    • Masculist Man

      The title “men’s rights activist” should be a proud one,not something to be ashamed of.

  • Introspectre

    Becoming an MRA, is perhaps like using psionics in D&D, players have a tough time using them correctly, and GM’s often discourage it because, if used well they can become too powerful. Another D&D fan here.

    Nice article Keithrond.

    • Sting Chameleon

      Also, to use psionics correctly it takes a lot of effort, and in some settings psionic characters are actively persecuted 😀

  • AntZ

    Oddly enough, my real life Dungon Wife prohibited me from playing make believe Dungeon’s and Dragons years ago.

    • Sting Chameleon

      Really? What a stuck-up bitch. Personally I prefer Cyberpunk 2020 or Shadowrun over D&D (yay augmentations and virtual reality), but D&D was the first one.

      • Sting Chameleon

        Clearly there’s some mangina that doesn’t like my tastes in gaming. Fuck off cunt.

    • Dr. F

      Yikes !

      Is she the dragon in your dungeon ?

    • by_the_sword

      My ex wife tried to keep me from doing what I loved. Ten years later I gave her the old heave-ho. No alimony, no kids, no nothin’.

  • Operation OPT-OUT

    Keith you are the shit!!!! This goes to everyone I know. Enough said.

  • Hugh

    I never played D and D. Never had the desire to. I think that had something to do with grasping the concept described in your article from watching the movie “War Games” when Joshua was forced to frantically calculate every strategic move once forced into Defcon One… ……”The Only Way To Win….Is Not To Play”…. I was at least blessed to learn it long before I was given a tab of 600 dollars a month though….

  • Stu
    • Keith

      Yes it is wafting in. The encroaching stench is disgusting. Where are the boon dock saints when you need them.

    • Stu

      If you look at the video at the above link, you’ll see that the house has been rammed and a lot of brick work is falling apart. So she must have splattered him between the house and car.

    • Fizzy

      Come on guys, she was obviously abused! … hey here’s a new idea: can you use the fact that a woman has murdered her husband as evidence that she was abused and then use that to get her off the murder? Think about it! 😛

    • Masculist Man

      Why didn’t they name her? In the US they would have named her.

  • Neil Hansen

    This is bullshit.

  • Hugh
    • BeijaFlor

      The article says she’s been put in the jail’s medical ward to be psychologically evaluated. I think electro-shock treatment would be appropriate. One really big shock – delivered in a chair.

  • Hugh

    Speaking of nothing…. nothing like going from the ridiculous to the sublime… or something like that. That’s right boys.. “Hell hath no fury like a woman’s invented scorn”….;posts

  • Dr. F

    Now this is OT but here it is.

    I am wanting to write an article about the dysfunctional relationship between Mother and princess daughter.

    Your thoughts on this are welcomed by me and if you have seen something like this first hand in a family environment then perhaps even better.

    Have you been shafted by the mother and daughter dysfunction maelstrom ? Have you a best friend a father who has ? Maybe this is you… is it ?

    This is a subject not touched upon so far on our AVfM. Now I might be wrong but I think it’s something not seen here in the form of an article and I believe it would be terrific to see it done and posted.

    Please write to me about your thoughts on this and of course confidentiality is the always there.

    I have no doubt there are some brothers and sisters out there who have a story to tell me, and so others. I also have no doubt that the future article will become something better and be of more substance than I can ever imagine at this stage.

    What do you think of this… do you think that there might be something in this ?

    Green ticks mean yes and red ticks mean I am wasting my time.


  • Stu

    Hey Dr. F

    All you have to do is do one of your cartoon spreads. Mother and daughter relationships in the morning……daughter gets out of bed and walks out of bedroom and says to mum…… me stuff. School time……mums phoen rings…….buy me stuff…..and so on and so on. That about covers it. LOL

    • Dr. F

      That is insane, I just love that you bent bastard.

      Maybe I’ll do as you suggest and bugger if I am going to say you had anything to do with it’s conception as it will be mine… mine !

      It will be all for MEEEEEE !

  • Denis

    I used to play D&D and cribbage is a great game. There is a real video game for training of future betas, gave me the shivers when I saw it in the store:

    “The Harvest Moon games offer many choices for potential love interests. As the player spends time with the various potential love interests, he or she learns their likes and dislikes, showers them with gifts, and eventually proposes after completing all of the “heart events” for that character. If a player fails to marry a character, then there are usually rival characters who will marry the other potential spouses. Developers of the series have taken to producing both male and female versions of Harvest Moon games in recent years, allowing for different lineups of potential spouses.”

  • JdL

    Of course as dungeon husband it’s all you’re fault…

    I’m putting on my editor’s hat and being picky here, but that should be “your fault”.

  • George

    Excellent artilce and beautifully put. Thanks for this.

    Here is another aspect of family life we need to look at. One which has been enabled by feminist inspired changes to the law that has created this attitude among some women.

  • Brad


  • Matt

    Haha – awesome metaphor. I couldn’t get into D&D myself, after trying with an introductory game, but I love M:tG, and so does my Ogress!

  • Jean Valjean

    Nice article.

    Not sure what the golden diploma is but I get the rest of it.

    • Jimmy

      I’d like to know what Keith meant by that too.
      Was it retirement?

      • oz

        pretty sure he meant the all powerful college degree that seems required nowadays to make more than minimum wage.

  • Bev

    What you were not told about the marriage game.

    There is a set of sealed rules which do not come with the game when it originally purchased. These rules are only opened when you attempt to exit the
    game and get a refund.

    1. You can never exit the game only become an inactive player.

    2. The other active player can continue to play the game as long as they like or exit at any time.

    3. Created players will continue to play the game until they turn 18 at which time they will exit the game.

    4. A referee is introduced to the game. This referee must consider the desires of the active players first as you are an inactive player.

    5. An inactive player must still contribute credits to the active players as decided by the referee. If the inactive player fails to supply the required credits for any reason the referee or his deputies will put the inactive player in the dungeon.

    6. Any attempt to influence the game or players may result in sanctions against the inactive player. The active players may use any reason they like to claim sanctions against the inactive player and such sanctions will be enforced by the deputies and may include any action up to and including confinement in the dungeon of the inactive player.

    • Stu

      That’s the secret rules for the man Bev. Women have a different set of secret rules. The lawyers give them the rules when they exit the game.

  • Shawn

    One of the most bitter times in a man’s life is when he realizes that he cannot win in life. Sure, there are some men who won the lottery (professional athletes, men involved with Wall Street, guys born into money) but the average joe has almost no chance to succeed. We all have that “ahah” moment where everything clicks and we realize that we will usually get the short end of the stick in life. I feel bad for a lot of guys because most of them are really cool people, but most women look right through them.

    • Dr. F

      OT and re: Call out for thoughts on mother and daughter article. ( That which with luck will be approved for publishing)

      Thank you for the emails to me so far. If the article does get published I will be delighted, if it doesn’t then this is fine also as I will send each of you the finished piece as for your pleasure and as my thanks.

      I will begin writing this article in the following week and for the next few days my email door is open to anyone for their thoughts.

      Feminists, manginas and WK’s welcome. All I ask is you wipe your feet before you step into the hermetically sealed steam room for the usual detox and microbe irradiation cycle of 15 minutes.

    • J3DIforce1


      I feel ya on that one bro. I don’t know about you but if your in the nerd circle like me then you know its hars to pity these guys and gals in some ways.

      No woman in this world is more self centered and stuck up than the nerd chick. She is the biggest complainer of being lonely and is totally fucking pissed that she is lonely.But the reason she is, is because she won’t settle for anything less than some gothic marlbro man that she will never get.
      This holds pride and true for nerd malle as well. He cries about his loneliness but won’t settle for anything less then a hot busty bitch straight out of the pages of their favorite comic book.
      They are super cool people and loads of fun to be around but for me its hard to feel sorry for most of them being lonely when its their jaded standards that are keeping them down.

      • Sting Chameleon

        Actually it’s the reverse: Being snubbed by girls and being solely approached by some other guy’s leftovers and the rejects (the fatties, the nutjobs and the cutters) ends up making him feel worthless.

    • by_the_sword

      It is disheartening to read this Shawn. I have found that life gets better of you ignore women and concentrate on doing things that make you happy.

  • Stu
    • Stu

      Hey, I just realized…….it’s Manblobz’s mum lol

      • Masculist Man

        I didn’t see a photo of the accused. Where is it?

    • Dr. F


  • Shawn

    @ J3DIforce1

    I agree with you. We live in a world where everyone is “special” in their own way. The one trait people have lost is humility. If more people looked in the mirror every morning and said “I’m human”, rather than “I’m special”, the world would be a better place. Since I have identified my strengths and weaknesses, I have a better understand of who I am and what I can accomplish. By the way, thanks for the comment.

  • Robert Full Of Rage

    I disregarded the idea of labeling myself years ago. Labeling myself an alpha, beta, omega, zeta, or whatever is based on how the world perceives us. I don’t care if women find me desirable or undesirable. I don’t care if men think of me as “one of the boys.” Men will feel much better when they stop caring what people think of them. Self-respect is the only respect that matters in this lifetime. People, notably women, only have power if we give them power by acknowledging them. Ignore them. You don’t owe them the anything.