Connection

Connecting the Dots

Existentialism for Nine Year Olds

I was sitting at the table with my son as he explained to me that he was stupid and didn’t understand the lessons at school. His teacher said he would never pass grade four and he was sure she was right.

“So, you’re not a very good monkey, aye!”

“What? I don’t get it,” he said.

“Get a piece of paper and a pencil I want to show you something. Write down a single word that you choose each time I tell you to.”

I proceeded to describe the steps involved in changing a timing belt on a Pontiac Acadian. With each step I paused and asked him to choose a word and write it down. When I was finished I asked him to count the words. His total was 23.

“Now use each word as a guide, tell me how to change a timing belt.”

He repeated the steps perfectly.

“How many kids your age do you think know how to change a timing belt?”

“None,” he said.

“Do you feel stupid?”

He smiled and said no.

“Do you feel smart?”

“Yes,” he said.

“So you’re a good monkey.”

“I’m not a monkey dad, what do you mean?”

“Well Zach, what I did was train you how to repeat some steps. That’s what monkeys do. Following directions has nothing to do with being smart or stupid. Do you think animals at the circus are smart, or well trained?”

“Probably well trained,” he said.

“Do you think if I got a whip and a poker I could make you smarter”

“No.”

“Do you think I could train you to be a good monkey?”

“If you’re going to use a whip I’ll be anything you want.”

“Zach why would you believe you are stupid?”

“Actually, Dad, the teacher said I was stupid.”

“Did it hurt when she said that?”

“Yes, but not like a whip.”

“Really….how long would it hurt if I hit you with a whip, Zach?”

“I dunno, maybe five or ten minutes. If you made me bleed it would probably hurt for a couple of days.”

“Zach when did your teacher tell you that you were stupid?”

“A couple of weeks ago,” he said.

“Does it still hurt?”

“Well not now, but I was afraid to talk to you cause I thought she must be right. All I’ve been thinking since she said that was that I must be stupid.”

“Did it hurt to think you are stupid?”

“Yes.”

“For two weeks?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think your teacher is really a teacher, or just a monkey trainer?”

“Dad, sometimes when you talk to me I don’t understand and I get confused and I thought that maybe that’s what stupid is.”

“Really? Go get another piece of paper. I want to show you something else. OK Zach, pretend this paper is your brain actually we’ll draw something that looks like a brain. Now put a dot inside the brain and imagine that dot is one piece of information. Is that brain smart?”

“Well, no.”

“Where did that information come from?”

“Well, I drew it there.”

“OK, pretend it’s a real brain. Where would the information come from? Would it come from your eyes, your ears?”

“Both I guess.”

“Well, yes, and more; you’re nose, mouth, all your senses touch, smell, taste. Everything that happens to you turns into a piece of information in your brain. Did you notice that my foot is on your toes?”

“No, but I do now.”

“Your brain did. It just decided that it wasn’t important enough to tell you. Your brain is getting information even when you don’t know it. When you want to know something you have to remember it.”

“Now I’m really confused, Dad.”

“Everything you know comes from your brain. It’s like a library, but before you can know something your brain has to get the information, it has to put books on its shelves. Your brain collects information your whole life and stores it in your library, in your brain. Just like a library you can’t read all the books at the same time, so when you wonder about something or become curious your brain will check to see if it has information that it can give you. It doesn’t matter whether you understand something and it doesn’t matter to your brain, it just collects information. When you need it it’s there, if it isn’t your brain will help you to get it.”

“Look come with me outside let me show you something. Look up, what do you see?”

“Stars and the moon.”

“OK, look over there see those stars in a row? See the two stars below that line of stars, that’s called the big dipper. Connect the stars with imaginary lines. There’s the handle and there’s the cup. Together it’s a cup with a long handle. There are no visible lines you can see but if you imagine the lines are there you will see the big dipper.”

“Yeah, OK,” he said.

“Now, if you take the paper where we drew the brain and continue to add dots, each being a piece of information, it’s just like the stars. The only time that information in your brain matters is when you connect the dots, when you imagine. It’s not possible to be smart or to be stupid, it’s only possible to imagine. When you imagine, information recorded in your brain starts to connect and you interpret it. How you interpret it and what it means to you is only for you, it’s your perspective, your view. Sometimes when you imagine one thing the dots in your brain will connect and show you something else that you didn’t expect to see. Do you understand, Zach?”

“I think so,” he said.

“You don’t need to understand what I understand. What you understand is for you and it changes from moment to moment. How do you feel, Zach? “

“I feel good. Did grandpa teach you this stuff, Dad?”

“Some of it, Zach, the rest I imagined, and you will imagine more.”

“Zach, what do you do when you get a cut or when you hurt yourself?”

“I get a Band-Aid from Mom or from you.”

“But you don’t walk around bleeding right?”

“No.”

“When you hurt inside, what should you do?”

“Tell you or Mom.”

“Right. Now, why would you walk around for two weeks hurting?”

“Listen closely Zach, this is important. Do you remember times when you have hurt yourself?”

“Some of them,” he said.

“Do you remember the pain you felt?”

“No, not really. Just what happened, not the pain and other stuff.”

“So is it possible your brain does not give you access to this information? Or is it more possible that what you felt as pain was an experience that cannot be remembered, and you can only remember the conclusion? Your brain cannot store what you feel. Your feelings are more like a calculator and you only remember the answer to that calculation.”

“To make things even easier to remember, your brain stores information as good or bad and decides if it is by how you feel at the time.”

“Makes sense, Dad. If you feel bad will your brain store information as bad?”

“You may not remember this information easily because it reminds you of feeling bad.”

“I guess it could,” he said.

“If I give you things to keep, some good, some bad, which would you, use more often Zach?”

“I would use the good stuff more.”

“If you had to keep all this stuff together would you keep the good stuff closer and the bad stuff farther away so it’s not in the way?”

“For sure!”

“Do you think your brain might work the same way to be more efficient? Can you even tell me what stupid is?”

“Well, no I’m not really sure what it means, but I was afraid she might be right.”

“So now we know Zach that the bad feeling was fear and it was fear about something you don’t understand. Because you felt bad, from your fear, you could not participate freely in your school work. Instead you spent your time afraid.”

“Have you learned anything from this conversation, Zach?”

“I’ve learned allot Dad, I know more stuff now.”

“Do you feel good about what you know?”

“Yes, definitely.”

“Maybe, Zach, what we know is what we feel good about. Imagine, Zach, what you would know if you weren’t afraid. Imagine what you would know if you controlled the calculator of your feelings.”

About J Galt

John is a father, writer, social commentator and mentor to young men. He is a regular contributor to A Voice for men focusing mainly on gender politics and pervasive social illusions.

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  • http://avoiceformen.com Paul Elam

    Is it not amazing, as we look out on a landscape full of gangs and the increasing failure of young men in schools and the workplace, that we often struggle so pitifully for a solution.

    The solution has been here all along.

    Fathers.

    • Ben

      I wrote a local newspaper columnist with “The Starkville Dispatch” who did a story outlining risk factors for juvenile delinquency, dropping out of school, drug use, etc. The article covered, specifically, an event a local junior high school known as the “Choice Bus”. They painted one end of a bus like a prison bus and the other end like a school bus and did a spill to the kids about making good choices and all. As this writer gave his detailed analysis, supposedly encompassing all risk factors, he never once mentioned the importance of fathers.

      In fact, the examples of horror stories due to poor teen choices involved FEMALES! Two females were mentioned in the article that ended up in Juvenile Hall. I wrote and asked him why he didn’t include anything about the importance of fathers and how that aspect is a contributing factor. He replied and said that he was not at liberty to discuss things like that and that is very controversial. He said that he doesn’t write an “opinion” section, and only covers events and things.

      It isn’t even ok to mention the good contributions of fathers and how this may positively impact children. It is only ok to blame them and call them deadbeat dads. Our newspaper did not mention anything about Mr. Ball. However, there are pictures of “deadbeat dads” on billboards here in Starkville. As you say, this country is building a man bomb.

      • KARMA MRA MGTOW

        1 billboard + one large can of red paint + 4 inch paint brush….

        If that happens in my city that bill board will cease to exist….

        GGGRRRRRRRR

        Hmmm do any of the billboards/posters resemble these at the like below?

        http://www.calvin.edu/academic/cas/gpa/posters2.htm

        • Ben

          As a matter of fact, to me personally, they look exactly like the posters you provided the link to. Exactly. I don’t want to go to jail for vandalism unless I need to, in which case I will and will try to get on the news in the process. I will not say, “no comment”. I will definitely have “comments” and will look the camera directly in the eye after I tell them to get at least one arm’s distance away from me and no closer. Martyrs are needed and lots of them. But right now I cannot take a chance on going to jail so I can’t exactly head to the paint store tonight or I absolutely would and I am really serious about that. I soon will be able to risk going to jail, if needed. There will be some painting going on around here when the time is right.

          • Mr. J

            !!!!!..EPIC..!!!!!

      • KARMA MRA MGTOW

        “He replied and said that he was not at liberty to discuss things like that and that is very controversial. He said that he doesn’t write an “opinion” section, and only covers events and things.”

        What the fellow really meant to say was “I am a gutless mangina and don’t have the balls to talk about fathers”

        • Ben

          Yep. No doubt.

        • http://www.manwomanmyth.com Perseus

          Karma, still loving your avatar. So awesome.

      • J.G. te Molder

        Controversial? What’s controversial about it? Every single last study I’ve ever seen stresses the importance of fathers, and what happens when they are absent?

        Oh, wait… feminist liars with money and power don’t like the truth, and so it is “controversial”.

        • http://www.manwomanmyth.com Perseus

          It’s controversial, like gravity.

          Hunt femaleist filth.

    • Mr. J

      Its the solution to girls’ getting abortions too, but you can’t tell most “pro-lifers” that.

  • Phil

    Fathers can do amazing things. My dad wasn’t the most responsible guy financially, and he certainly had his marital flaws. But, back when I was in the Fourth Grade, I was doing a report on modern Egypt. My mom had written a paragraph of information that she wanted me to include in my report. I didn’t want to, since it wasn’t my work, so I put a big X through it. When she saw it, she started slapping me roughly on the back. My dad, who was grading papers for his French class in the basement, heard me screaming and ran up the stairs. He grabbed me away from her and drove me to his office at the University.

    When we got there, he gave me a piece of paper and a pencil, and asked me to write down the names of everybody that I thought had the right to hit me. I put down my mom, my teachers, my grandpa, one of the kids at school who bullied me, and a couple others. I gave the list to him. After looking it over, he erased all the names that I wrote, handed the list back to me, and said “That’s who has the right to hit you.”

    I have never forgotten that lesson he gave me, and now my mom can’t figure out why I haven’t sided with her in the divorce, even though she’s spent more money on me than he has.

    • Promoman

      Win.

  • AntZ

    Completely OT (sorry Keith): Update on Thomas James Ball wikipedia status. The effort to prevent Tom Ball’s story from being buried continues. The keep/delete discussion page is already far longer than the wiki page itself.

    Disturbingly , undeniable evidence has emerged that:
    1) The main stream media is intentionally attempting to bury Ball’s story.
    2) Notwithstanding the media’s bias, Ball’s story is already one of the most impactful events of the year.

    EVIDENCE: Ball’s story already generates 4000% more google hits than CNN’s current “front page” news item, the capture of James Whitney Bulger. In fact, Ball’s story already generates more Ghits than Alexander Hamilton!

    In summary: The capture and punishment of a man who inflicts violence is the front page news item on CNN, but generates only 480,000 google hits. In contrast, the political self immolation of a man upon whom violence was done has over 8,800,000 google hits, but ZERO MENTION IN THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA.

    It is not really a conspiracy, if they are really out to get you …

    Here is the wiki “keep” post that points this out:

    “Update on google hits (by author, in support of keeping the page): Initial google hits were very limited for “Thoamas James Ball”. I recorded about 270,000 on the first day. Currently, the number of google hits stands at 8,800,000. This is significant evidence that this event is highly relevant.

    In addition, I submit evidence that the mainstream media is avoiding coverage of the Ball event. Evidence: A google search for James Whitney Bulger results in 480,000 google hits. The event of the capture of Bulger is the front page news item at this moment on cnn.com, even though it has generated only a tiny fraction of the amount of interest that exists in the Thomas James Ball event. Comparing the raw number of hits obtained by a google search of “Thomas James Ball” (8,800,000) to the raw number of hits obtained by a google search of “James Whitney Bulger” (480,000) is glaringly asymmetric to the coverage that the two events have received in the main stream media (no coverage for Ball, front page coverage for Bulger). Therefore, the absence of coverage by the main-stream media should not be used as justification for removing the Thomas James Ball wikipedia page. In addition, I will point out that James Whitney Bulger has a long wikipedia page, which is further evidence that the Thomas James Ball event (which currently generates 20 times more google hits) should remain.

    Finally, I point out that the presence of interested/non-neutral pro-keep parties in this discussion (sometimes called sock/meat puppets) should not be used as a justification for removing the Thomas James Ball page. The only proposed argument for removal of the page (lack of significance of event) has been soundly rebutted by (1) the exponential growth in the impact that this event continues to have in the blogosphere and in non-traditional media outlets, as well as by (2) the very large number of google hits (8.800,000), the majority of which can easily be seen by inspection to be directly related to the event (few coincidental hits). For purposes of proof of relevance of the raw GHit number for Thomas James Ball (currently 8,800,000), I point out that a google search for “Alexander Hamilton” produces 8,700,000 GHits, almost exactly the same number observed for Thomas James Ball.”

    • reficul

      Since the entry in wikipedia has now been closed on the basis of:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:BLP1E#Subjects_notable_only_for_one_event

      I suggest we follow the logic:

      “Biographies in these cases can give undue weight to the event and conflict with neutral point of view. In such cases, it is usually better to merge the information and redirect the person’s name to the event article.”

      and make an addition to Men’s Rights entry (under e.g.: Notable Protests) or other similar with the redirection from Thomas James Ball.

      • Eff’d Off

        Notable_only_for_one _event.

        Oswald
        Rosa Parks
        Hinkley
        Levy-Schumaker comet impact
        911
        Nagasaki explosion

        Hmmm, nope… not buying it.

        • Anonymous Reader

          It’s important to note that each of those events carried world-shaking implications. One abusive father self-immolating does not count.

          Just my take.

          • http://avoiceformen.com Manuel Dexter

            @Anonymous cynic –

            How many fathers – whether you call them abusive or not – but how many men self immolating will it take before you deem it worthy of notice? How many corpses is enough to satisfy you.

          • Anonymous Reader

            It only took one Rosa Parks to change the course of history. As an advocate of men’s rights, I’m troubled by our support of a man who tarnished all men’s image by hitting his daughter.

            And yes, I agree that the justice system is broken – but I will never condone violence against one’s own child.

          • AntZ

            You are not an MRM. I know who you are. You are not even a man. Get off this forum.

          • Anonymous Reader

            Odd that you know seem to think you know who I am more than I know who I am. I can assure you I’m a man, and a supporter of men’s rights (I gain nothing from saying I am, so why would I lie?), and I don’t think we’re right in martyring this guy.

            I’d also appreciate not being told to take myself elsewhere when I frequent this site. I’m not telling you to leave, am I?

          • Ben

            The reason Rosa Parks gained so much clout and sparked the biggest civil rights movement in the United States was because she was a female. If a black man would have done what she did, it would have resulted in a beating and nothing more. Similarly, had it been a woman who set herself on fire outside family court, it would be on every news channel right now as I write this and the National Guard would be in place to diffuse the riots. In addition, Congress would be in an emergency hearing trying to reform the family laws to benefit women even more so that another tragedy did not happen like that. The President of the United States would have already addressed the nation about the incident. Think Anonymous Reader.

          • Ben

            I should have previewed that before I sent it. No more playing with the black magic markers for me, lol! I got ink everywhere. They are in a higher drawer now where I can’t reach them.

          • Anonymous Reader

            That’s conjecture. Martin Luther King changed history and caused massive repercussions – can you guess his gender?

          • Ben

            Martin Luther King didn’t start the Civil Rights Movement. The first thing he did that got him noticed was organize a bus boycott IN REACTION to the Parks incindent. Because Parks was FEMALE, the Civil Rights Movement was already gaining traction then, in 1955, and would have occured anyway, regardless of the efforts of MLK. His speech wasn’t until 1963 anyway. How successful do you think MLK’s bus boycott would have been if it would have been a black MAN who refused to give up his seat? These are valid points that have to be considered in order to do a fair analysis; they are not conjecture. Your counter argument is mightily full of holes to be accusing me of conjecture.

      • http://www.manwomanmyth.com Perseus

        Um, excuse me, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_hit_wonder.
        Then a LOT of pages need to come down.

    • sharp

      Holy shit, those scumbags had the page deleted. I can’t believe this shit.

      • Robert O’Hara

        That’s what they do! The general public at large has no idea how the media control the flow of information. Only when you get into this kind of activism does it become blatantly obvious that they take care of their own and not the people that count on them to tell the truth.

    • AntZ

      I am really sorry guys. I can’t tell you how hard I tried. At the end, my case for a 500 word wiki page was 20,000 words long. It was not meant to be.

      • Hayden

        You, sir, are in the trench kicking ass. Thanks for your work.

  • http://thedamnedoldeman.com TDOM

    Excellent article Keith. I’m not so certain that it’s existentialist, but it is cognitive psychology for nine year olds. And its a good father-son chat as well.

    TDOM

  • http://jmnzz.wordpress.com jmnzz

    This article made me feel all warm and fuzzy about my dad.

    That’s all I have to say.

  • keyster

    It wasn’t until my parents divorced and I went to live with my older brother that I learned resourcefulness and mechanical aptitude. My father spent weekends in a beer induced haze watching baseball and napping. He was unhappy in his marriage and it showed.

    Boys need MALE mentors!
    I was listening to the radio this morning and there was a guy on looking for volunteers to be male mentors in a school program. He felt compelled to emphasis one of the things they teach boys is how to properly treat girls. Imagine that! The female radio hostess gushed about how fantastic that was. I turned it off and went back to sleep.

    • Ben

      A fraternity recently did a two-week seminar for men, here at my college. It featured 10 different installments. The bulletin board advertisement for it looked great from a distance so I walked close enough to read what the title of each seminar was, to see if I wanted to attend. The first night, and I am not making this up, was “Appreciating Women”. Other installments were on fixing male “flaws”. It was really a two-week men’s repair workshop. Out of all ten sessions, none of them were about addressing men’s issues even marginally, evident from the title, only men’s flaws.

      I am not surprised to hear what you are saying. Helping boys is still seen as misogyny. This shit’s got to stop right now. This is a crisis.

      • keyster

        In today’s society you cannot have a seminar, a pilgrimage, a gathering of men teaching boys…nothing like that WITHOUT FEMALE INTERFERENCE! Your lucky if they allow male only attendence.

        Guiding boys has NOTHING to do with females. Teach them how to be men first, and handling females appropriately will come naturally. But no, they always have to meddle in everything, make sure your not giving them any “secrets” or patriarchal scheming.

        And the white-knight mangina types are NOT doing boys any favors either by convincing them defferring to women is a righteous path.

        Are there classes and programs and seminars for girls on how to treat men? No! How to defend yourself from date rape and violence, empower yourself, take pride in yourself, building self-esteem so “no man will ever get the best of you”. Yes!

        Teaching boys how to be compliant servants and girls their lord and master.

        It’s a damn shame is what it is.

        • Ben

          Keyster, the women’s seminars here include, “Safe Dating for College Women”, “The Gender Pay Gap”, and “Date Rape”. This is on the rise, also. We used to have an organization known as the “Boys Club”; now it is known as the “Boys and Girls Club”. However, the number of female-only clubs and organizations are rising. We have women-only health clubs that use the expression, “No Intimidation” in their marketing slogans. Could you imagine a male-only gym that used the expression, “No False Abuse Allegations” in their marketing slogan? It would be reciprically just as vile.

          • keyster

            The only refuge from women a man has today is in a gay bar.
            And most of those men act like women.

          • Ben

            Most men act like women everywhere now. The boys that are in my engineering classes have retrainted themselves how to talk. They all are going metrosexual. Every last damn one of them. Social engineering in the public school system is winning.

      • Eff’d Off

        Ben,

        Can you please post a photo of this poster please ?

        I suspect there is wonderful material for the likes of one as myself if you know what I mean ?

        Ta.

        • Ben

          I had a lot of pictures stored in my camera of that but I deleted them. I will get more pictures and post them here as soon as similar events show up. The reason that I deleted them was because I showed them to people and they all began to think I was crazy. It got really frustrating. I could get NO support, only ridicule. I had a picture of all the flyers that were placed on cafeteria tables that said, “Date Rape” with the one-in-five lies. I got called an advocate of rape for showing them to people. I have lost every friend that I had for being affiliated with this movement.

          But, I will get some more pictures.

          • Ben

            That’s ok, though. They don’t deserve to talk to me or be affiliated with me in any way. They don’t deserve to be in this country.

          • BeijaFlor

            “I have lost every friend that I had for being affiliated with (the MRM).”

            You call those shits “friends”?

            I do feel a compassionate regret for your sake, about your discovery that those so-called “friends” were indeed shits. You are stronger, though, for their departure. And what I wish for you is … strength.

            We’ll all need it.

    • http://www.manwomanmyth.com Perseus

      “…how to properly treat girls.”
      With incessant suspicion.

  • Jade Michael

    Wow. I can only imagine if I had even one talk like this with my father as a child how much misery in life I would have avoided. Amazing story, Keith. Zach is a very lucky boy and you are clearly doing a great job. This one made me well up a bit.

    To hell with that teacher.

  • Bombay

    I have both a daughter and a son. In school there was never any negative feedback to my daughter and she thrived. My son had/is having the opposite experience. 80-90% of the teachers/school administrators do not treat boys well.

    I recall his second grade teacher (female) informing me how my son always forgot his lunch and how that is a problem. So I asked my son about that and it turns out they give kids who do not have a lunch Graham crackers to eat. He was not forgetting, but making his plans. I told the teacher that he was a step ahead of her and asked her why she did not ask him about it. It is very simple to know what going on with a second grader if you talk with them, but she somehow could not talk to A BOY!

  • Izzey

    Keith,
    I absolutely loved reading this.

    You are the real teacher here. Patience, love, and guidance.
    I nominate you ‘Father Of The Year’

    A wonderful story…and a lesson to more than just Zach.

    This just made my day.

    Izzey

    • Izzey

      Dear red thumbs people,
      I have no problem with feminist, mangina, white knight, slutty, or spiteful immature trash; blowing through here and ‘red-thimbing’ my posts. I usually laugh and even egg them on.

      But what I want to know is this:
      Are you thumbs-downing the post?
      Or just me?

      In spite of maybe that you just don’t like me (tough motherfucking shit)
      Are you saying Keith is not everything I just said he was?

      If you are a man….shame on you, asshole.
      If you are a woman…..kiss my hard working MRA ass.

      Voice your opinion, or opposition– chicken-shit pussy.

      Oh yeah, and I almost forgot…

      Fuck you.

      Izzey

      • http://truthjusticeca.wordpress.com/ Denis

        There does seem to be a pattern where you are targeted in particular. It’s rather cowardly for someone to disagree and not explain themselves.

        • Eff’d Off)

          Izzey mate,

          You are one lucky gal, and I mean it.
          It can only mean one thing that you are getting red thumbs and this is it:

          You are pissing of the right people be it because you’re a girly-whirly (compliment btw) or because of what you say.

          I for one get a tingle when I see those little red chilli pixels right below my Monika.

          P.S. Shall I keep doing what I do but change my Monika to “Effina Off” ?

      • Stu

        They red thumb you more because it’s in line with the feminist doctrine of a woman getting twice as much for doing the same as a man LOL

      • keyster

        A red thumb means you’ve struck a chord with the blue pill crowd.

      • http://avoiceformen.com Paul Elam

        What strikes me as funny is that there may actually be someone out there stupid enough to think red thumbing Izzey would discourage her.

        Whole new level of fucking stupid.

        • Gendeau

          Some people only have red thumbs and stupidity to bring to the table. Many are called feminists.

      • BeijaFlor

        Some useful idiot may indeed be red-thumbing you, Izzey, and I suspect there’s some clown who lurks on this board just to hit the red thumb whenever something tickles the twist in his/her panties.

        Plus, there may be some Neanderthal who down-checks any post that is signed by a self-confessed woman. I recall the kerfuffle on “The Spearhead” a few weeks ago – yes, Vern, there really are jerks in this world.

        Keep raising hell, Izzey, there’s a real need for your brand of hell.

      • http://www.manwomanmyth.com Perseus

        A lot of red thumbs in here today, seems to coincide with the presence of the Osterbro scum from Sweden.

        • Kimski

          Österbro is a fucking hole in the ground, where the escaped criminally insane from the nearest asylum is now in charge of things.

  • Merlin

    Quality article Keith…

    @Keith “what we know is what we feel good about”

    That’s great point and one which I can affiliate with…just because you don’t have an interest in something, is doesn’t mean you’re stupid or uneducated…to me, it simply means that you are totally in tune with what you are interested in.

    And lets face it, why should you even bother to take an interest in what doesn’t float your boat? I don’t have time for that, and I’m sure a lot of others don’t too.

    I prefer to concentrate on what I consider to be important in life, and If that doesn’t coincide with someone else’s view, then that’s just tough really. If it does coincide, then I’ve made a friend!

  • Bizzman662

    That’s why I come to AVFM on a daily basis……for articulate, well intentioned articles such as this. There is no shaming, fear mongering or hateful rhetoric on this site, rather educational, thought provoking articles that in the end make those of us that read it better men.

    To stay educated……..I visit the N.O.W. website and other feminist hate blogs to see what we are up against.

    Just for an example here are 3 articles on the N.O.W. website right now.

    1. Emergency rally tomorrow outside Rubio’s office in Florida. To protest that “Right Wing” Tea Party radical that wants to stop funding abortions on demand.

    Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    2. Wal-Mart Women…..YOUR ON YOUR OWN!!!! Errr…..I mean it’s time for Washington to pass the paycheck fairness act since women don’t make as much as men……The Supreme Court let us down!!!!

    Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    3. As if right on cue, the “Give us your cash, Bitch!” video popped up this week to prove that sexism and racism are alive and kicking this election season. Errr….we mean we don’t like it when other people do it……but when we run anti women ads against men it’s all good….

    Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    You should all make it a point to research what other groups that DOMINATE our political system push/talk about……

    Then you will have a firm understanding of the vile nature of these hairy legged, fat biatches that want your balls and your son’s balls on a platter.

    • keyster

      Abortion is issue #1, followed by “Pay Check Fairness.
      All feminists talk about is defeating Republicans and abortion rights.
      They’re obsessed with it.

      Feminists HATE the Republican Party.
      Which is why men should support them.

      I don’t think the “democrats/republicans, whatever, they’re all feminist and bad for men” is a wise strategy. If you wanna piss feminists off, vote Republican, because not voting at all is a vote for feminists.

      • Bizzman662

        Agree to a point Keyster but the Republicans sold us down the river as well.

        They stand silent on refunding the VAWA every time, They stand silent on the Bradley Amendment that throws countless GOOD men in prison over a CHALIMONY debt…..no matter if they get laid off, company goes out of business or he gets sick to the point of not being able to work. They stand silent on No Child Left Behind, Welfare Reform, (which REALLY started this Financial ball crushing incentives for individual states). They stand silent on TITLE IV-D. They stand silent on Family court abuses. They stand silent on the destruction of boys in school and the feminist indoctrination given under the guise of education.

        To me standing silent and doing nothing is worse than those that do these things openly.

        Both sides are crooked……..that is one thing I do understand.

        • keyster

          So don’t vote at all and that will be one more vote that a Democrat POTUS gets to put/keep him in office, giving him the power to appoint, for life, a liberally slanted Supreme Court…you know the same inbalance that allowed women to hijack the equal rights amendment, solidifying women as a victim class equivelent to blacks.

          Or how about the Nov ’11 shellacking, where without a slight Republican majority our nations employers would be looking at instituing “Paycheck Fairness” as law with government enforcement. Yeah, it was a damn close call boys.

          Stop looking at all the nits of every little slight, that’s politics in a democracy. It’s messy and flawed.

          I realize it’s not perfect but by completely ignoring the better of two evils, you only serve to empower the worse.

          NOT support Republicans IS supporting Democrats, the self-proclaimed “party of women”, where feminist governace eminates and Republicans keep it in check.

          I just don’t understand why some of you guys don’t get this. If men were as involved in the Republican Party as feminist groups are in the Democrat party, man o man! Throwing up your hands and simply giving up on the political process, ugly as it is, is not an option.

          • Hayden

            Ron Paul was good enough to post news of Mr. Balls passing. He seems to have other responsible and man-friendly views. Please check out his stated views on his website. He might be a good start toward sanity and freedom in our country.

          • keyster

            I love Ron Paul. But to support him directly is futile. Yet another wasted vote, for what?

            My plea is for those who dismiss Republicans as “just as misandrist”, based on passed apathy and even support of certian laws against men, to drop the cognitive bias and think about today forward.

            I speak as a pragmatic Independent doing what I can to stop the forward march of feminist governance thru the Democrat Party, not a Republican.

          • by_the_sword

            Excuse me, but what the fuck have republicans ever done for men’s rights?

    • http://avoiceformen.com J3DIforce1

      Jesus Christ its fucking relentless. victim victim victim victim …. It never ends. I can’t even fathom what a horrible fate it must be to live life with hate in your heart and spending every waking moment trying to find a way to make yourself a victim of something.Who the fuck would gladly spend their life all the way to death like that? We all die and can’t pick how we do in most cases, but when its my turn I sure as hell ain’tgoing out BITCHIN.

      • Merlin

        Great comment J3D…

        Couldn’t agree more buddy…sheer poetry! ;-D

      • Gendeau

        Victims don’t have to take responsibility.

        Teh wimminz know they can’t handle responsibility, so they are absolutely desperate to self-classify as victims whenever they can.

        I’ve never heard a feminist say ‘woman up’ to get a woman to act like an adult, have you?

  • Hayden

    Loved the article.

    OT: I am sorry to get off track here, but Antz’s comment about Mr. Ball concerned me to the point that I shifted over to Wikipedia to check out the situation. After reading about the attempt to delete the entry, I am trying to participate in the fight for Thomas James Ball to remain an entry on Wikipedia. I hope the rest of the readers here will do the same.

    I think it is critical that he remain on Wiki to raise MRM awareness in the general public and just out of general respect for the first American activist of any type that I am aware of to take the step of self-immolation. Mr. Ball is arguably the most important MRA in American History, both through his act of personal courage (without injuring anybody else to make his point) and because suppression of news of his death presents clear evidence that our feminist government/media suppresses men’s issues and promotes a nearly exclusive feminist agenda.

  • Bizzman662

    [img]http://avoiceformen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/feminism-Motivational-Poster.jpg[/img]

    • Bizzman662

      You have to click on the picture, make it bigger if you want a good laugh today.

  • Lovekraft

    Great article. Keep on message, reinforcing these simple principles, as the chance of them being diluted or distracted by other inputs is great.

    Also, I would humbly add this advice:

    You, son, are you own person, inviolate and free from physical and mental abuse carried out by others. You have the right to your own opinions and can resist general thinking in order to find your own way.

    Also, you have the right to question orders and advice. Anything an authority figure says should be backed up in a respectful manner. If they only stop at the insult, dismiss this advice as that coming from a little mind.

  • http://masculism.ca/ Jack Day

    Loved this article! Reminds me of my son and the many great times we had teaching and learning new things together. (Not always in that order ;-). . There is something so incredibly powerful when your son looks up at you and says “dad, how does that work” and you are struck with the realization that what you say in the next few minutes will change the world forever!!

    I think this story is another fine example of just what a powerful, prominent and necessary influence fathers are for their children in that I don’t see this type of linear, logical, critical thinking (that I feel is a hallmark of Men and Boys) often comes from their mothers. . I think for boys this is essential because it sets a standard or strategy for future or similar occurrences. . Mothers have a tendency of coming at this type of thing from the emotional point of view, with assurances and love, but has not the necessary strategy component necessary for young men. .

    I remember, when I was around 10, like it was yesterday, one of the many similar conversations I once had with my father. . While I follow his teachings to this day, I could not tell you what happened the rest of that month. .

  • http://truthjusticeca.wordpress.com/ Denis

    Excellent story Keith. Thanks for sharing, I’m going to remember it for my own kids.

  • http://mens-rights.blogspot.com/ Snark

    Antz or anyone else:

    http://mens-rights.blogspot.com/2011/06/mainstream-media-is-trying-to-bury.html

    If you want to contribute/comment at any time.

    • reficul

      The entry in Wikipedia has now been deleted…

    • Lovekraft

      I checked the link and clicked on the Moderator’s profile. Am I seeing things!?!? The moderator is some 19 year old from Bosnia who now lives in Winnipeg? Can that be right? A geeky kid deciding suitability of such matters?

      Time to file Wikipedia among other feminized media sources, methinks, and to seriously think about starting an anti-Wikipedia/pro-MRA site that lists the truth.

      • Anonymous Reader

        It would really turn out funny if said kid was a huge supporter of men’s rights, wouldn’t it?

        Man, that would really throw a wrench in somebody’s gears.

  • mananon

    Well Keith your son sounds like a quiet, thoughtful kid. The fact that his teacher told him he wasn’t bright enough is an indictment of teaching practices in today’s schools. Many boys are insecure about their academic ability; boys are bombarded enough with misandrist propaganda outside of school without teachers making it worse.

    You are an example as to why more than ever boys like your son need loving, supportive fathers to teach them their worth and give them the confidence that would otherwise be wrung out of them.

  • http://www.coldinkstainedhands.wordpress.com Patrice Stanton

    Wonderful article. I’m so hoping this was a real conversation (except for the originating pathetic ‘teacher’). If it actually happened what a precious one-on-one…

    It took me many, many years as a home schooling mom-teacher to understand expecting high academic performance “across-the-subjects” was as unrealistic as me having an equal interest in all of Life’s ‘subjects’. I hope lots of readers here have similar moments especially with their sons.

  • Quartermain

    What’s sickening is that in the U.S., bad teachers are protected from termination by the teacher’s union.

    • keyster

      NYC employs something like 80,000 teachers.
      Only 2 have been fired in the last 10 years.
      The teacher unions have untold power and they contribute to election campaigns via dues, and they vote.

      A President who truly cared about the future of his country and not the next election, would dismantel the entire system and start fresh.

      • Quartermain

        The modern school is not geared to cultivating young minds, just dumbing them down.

        Just google John Taylor Gatto, a former teacher of the year, who came out to expose that atrocious system.

  • MateNeo

    Holy Shit!!! This is awesome!!!

    Please be my daddy……!!! Be my daddy…

    Coolest dad ever.

    I wouldn’t mind having multiple dads like you. Not at all.

  • Robert O’Hara

    The war on boys in our educational system is every bit as personal as this article is. It is at a basic level and must be confronted as such. Keith has done his part for his son which makes him a brilliant father. Many years from now his son will teach his grandson (if his son is stupid enough to get married and have kids if the current paradigm of marriage and fatherhood continues.) the lessons he learned from his grandfather. And we will all be better off for it. This is what men, fathers, do for all of us. They impart very important values to their children in a way that mothers don’t. This does NOT take away from the importance of mothers it simply complements that importance and augments the positive influence of good parenting.

    Parents, both mothers and fathers need to get serious about stopping the war on boys in education by actively going to PTA meetings (yes all of you dads out there need to go there too) and ask “What are you doing about the problem of my boy not doing as well as my daughter in school? Are you giving my son the needs that boys have in education like regular physical activity and a competitive element to education off of which they thrive? Are you giving them reading material that they actually like to read such as books on airplanes and firetrucks instead of Judy Bloom books?”

    The war on boys in education is a neglected subject in the MRM and we need to get serious about it. I do not have any children that I know of, but if I had a son I would be at EVERY PTA MEETING AND EVERY SCHOOL BOARD MEETING RAISING HELL!

    Not trying to tell you how to raise your kids just sayin we got some work to do.

    • keyster

      And make an appointment with that fucking teacher and her boss and her bosses boss poste haste regarding calling your son, “stupid”. If indeed that’s true.

      If I had told my rather “uninvolved” father that a teacher said that to me, he wouldn’t let it stand without a ruckus. Either would my mother.

  • http://none Atlas Reloaded

    You are one awesome, rockin Dad, Keith.

  • Stu

    My fathers voice echos in my head on many occassions. Whenever I followed his advice in my life, things turned out good. And when I didn’t, he was the only one to rush to help me fix the messes I made. His only real flaw was that his was a chivalry junky. Treated like crap by the family law system and used by every woman he got serious about, he never learned. Died with his chivalry boots on.

  • Eff’d Off

    You know what you’re doing for sure.

    I like this article a lot.

  • Jake

    One of my best friends for years is what you would call a “screw up”. He’s had on and off drug addictions, spent most of his teen years in jail, was always fighting, dealt crack up until a few years ago, cheated on his girlfriend many times when she was loyal to him, scams the state, totaled every car he’s owned, and all other types of assholery lol. The only thing he is exceptional at besides making you laugh is BEING A FATHER! No one that knows him will deny this. He has three kids and they are smart, they are well-behaved, they are honest and they love him. They are always fed, clothed nicely and active. He’s always there for them no matter what. Fathers are important, even if they make poor choices in every other aspect of there life.

  • BeijaFlor

    Wish I’d had a father like you, Keith. I had to figure it all out for myself, and I still haven’t got it all figured out.

    At 57.

    But I’m still working on it.

    Good luck to you and your son.

    • keith

      You and I are close in age BeijaFlor, Zach, one of my sons is now 27. I went into foster care at age 10. No parents from age 10. If you think I got it all figured out brother, trust me I don’t. I thank you for the luck, and I’m willing to share it. I only ever take what I need, based on your tone of words I know there some left over for you. Consider it breaking bread together, brother.

  • http://trustchristorgothell.org VINDICATOR of YAH

    WTF are you doing sending your SON to FEMINIST, COMMUNIST MIND CONTROL & TORTURE CENTERS??

    This is a MASSIVE PROBLEM Mr. Elam. The switch/whip should be taken to your foolish back for willingly putting your SON through this uneccessary TORTURE!!

    • http://trustchristorgothell.org VINDICATOR of YAH

      Actually, Mr. Elam didn’t write the article. “Keith” is the author. Keith is responsible for willingly sending his SON to FEMINIST-TORTURE centers to belittle, program and infest with DEMONS. INFERIORITY, RETARDATION, etc. If one believes what the authority femcunt/homo says, they will receive in their soul the demons that they send to them.

      Get your children OUT of the public fool system if you care for them at all.

    • Paul Elam

      Oh, Jesus Christ, fuck off. Sheesh.