Cutting to the chase

Why the latest severed penis crime proves that  domestic violence against men STILL isn’t taken seriously (and that women are no less dangerous).

Earlier this week, MailOnline detailed the story of Huaman Julia Muńez: a Peruvian woman arrested for cutting off her boyfriend’s penis and flushing it down the toilet.

Her defenceless victim, 46 year-old Ramon Arias Apayco, suffered the violent assault while sleeping in a hostel.

Currently in intensive care, he will no longer be able to urinate without medical intervention, enjoy sex or father children. The reason? Infidelity. And suspected infidelity at that.

Immediately, the story went viral. News sites across the world re-reported it – some sympathetically, others with glee, as if this terrible assault was karmic revenge for all the hideous sex crimes committed against women since the beginning of time.

It’s not. It’s an extreme form of sexually-related domestic violence – and something which is increasingly common for men across the world.

Last year, Katherine Kieu Becker was arrested in California for drugging her husband’s dinner, tying him to their bed and severing his penis before destroying it in a garbage disposal unit. When police arrived she told them “he deserved it”. Why? Because he’d asked for a divorce.

In December 2011, 70 year-old Virginia Valdez was detained in Los Angeles for savagely attacking her husband’s genitals with industrial scissors. She will now answer to charges of assault with a deadly weapon, spousal abuse and mayhem.

Prior to that, in 2004, Liverpudlian Amanda Monti was jailed for ripping off – an attempting to swallow – one of her ex-boyfriend’s testicles, simply because he rejected her advances at a party.

And in April this year, Sinead Walker from Bath was arrested for trying to tear her ex-partner’s penis from his body with her bare hands. The unprovoked attack, which was also reported by the MailOnline, happened while her victim was already making a desperate 999 call for help.

Although these cases seem rare – and people will argue that they pale in comparison to attacks suffered by women – the reality is very, very different.

In Thailand, rates of penis removal are so high that doctors are having to specialise in re-attaching severed organs – assuming that patients don’t die of blood loss first. If these victims were women with destroyed vaginas, there’d be an outcry.

This is mine. Especially as these vile crimes have nothing to do with self-defence or survival. They’re about women assuming a right to avenge a broken heart.

The same mis-guided belief, I assume, that violent men feel when they throw acid in their ex-girlfriend’s face.

The difference is, however, that society rightly condemns violence against women – but not men.

I was a 12 year-old boy in 1993 when Lorena Bobbitt became an icon for slicing off her husband’s penis because: “He always have [sic] [an] orgasm and he doesn’t wait for me to have [an] orgasm. He’s selfish.”

The price she paid for this? Not a single day in jail.

The message it sent out? That men deserve everything they get for having the bad taste to be male.

As a child, this incident – and how she escaped justice – resonated with me. Not least because it was celebrated. Intelligent female figures like Jo Brand joked about the matter, creating a culture which cheered violent women.

As someone who was bullied by girls at school (because they knew I ethically couldn’t – and wouldn’t – hit back), I could see the manipulation of my gender on a micro and macro level.

Nineteen years on and nothing has changed. Men – like the boys who will grow up to be abused men – are still fed the same sexist mantra that I was at 12: ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’.

This is particularly dangerous when women they’ll share a bed with believe it.

Twelve months ago, while talking about Katherine Kieu Becker’s case on live television, Sharon Osbourne claimed that it was “fabulous”. The next day, she was forced to apologise trough gritted teeth – but clearly had no idea why her comments were so wicked in the first place.

And this is the root of the problem: dangerous ignorance.

Not least because official statistics prove that men are almost equal victims of domestic violence.

According to charity Mankind Initiative, for every three victims of partner abuse, two will be female, one will be male. Likewise, one in six men and one in four women will suffer domestic abuse in their lifetime.

Despite this, the lion’s share of resources – including government funding – only ever serves females. In fact, most shelters actively turn men away.

Don’t believe me? Ask Erin Pizzey – the woman who, in 1971, founded the world’s first-ever domestic violence safehouse. A heroine, she herself had to flee Britain after radicalised feminists sent her death threats for saying that men also suffer abuse. Something which is backed up by fact, after fact, after fact. And death, after death, after death.

The added proof that lesbian relationships experience near-identical rates of violence to heterosexual ones is further evidence that women also communicate with their fists.

But society continues to fail us by turning a blind eye. Apparently, us men already have it too good. Try telling that to Ramon Arias Apayco and his family who were weeping on Peruvian TV.

Yes, my comments will be ridiculed and rejected, but all inconvenient truths are at first. My main hope is that all victims will be offered the protections they deserve: regardless of gender.

Hopefully, in light of this week’s latest tragedy, the law will deliver a clear message that domestic violence is no less horrendous when the attacker is female.

But, if it fails to – like it famously did in 1993 – then myself and other men’s activists will have to step in and fight back.

After all, that’s basic self-defence.

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  • Perseus

    Ahhh fuck.

  • The Evil Weasel

    In the local paper, there was a story about the practice of genital mutilation in Australia. As one might expect of then lamestream media, they focused wholly on genital mutilation of females. I wrote back a letter asking for recognition of male genital mutilation in terms of a) circumcision and b) attacks by female partners. As one might expect, the rag elected not to publish my letter.

    It would seem that as far as the western media is concerned, genital mutilation of any kind is only bad if it happens to females.

  • Kimski

    This is the main reason I keep referring to these women as hyenas.
    In a fight between hyenas, the alpha female will immediately go for the genitals, and try to mutilate the opponent sexually, be they males or females.

    To me that has always been the pinnacle of viciousness in the animal kingdom, and seeing that very same continuing behavior from women around the globe…

    -Well, what can I say, that I haven’t already said about NAWALT?

    Fucking predatory animals..?

  • Skeptic

    Trigger Warning!

    This makes for a much more realistic banner photo –

    • Paul Elam

      That link did not work for me. Can you email the pic?

      • Kimski

        ‘That link did not work for me.’

        Right now you don’t know how lucky you are, Paul.
        It worked for me.

      • Skeptic

        I’ve attached it to an e-mail from me with a question about submitting an article sent to you a few days ago too. I’m not clear what is meant by admin and contributors level.

        You and whoever else views it might want to take a deep breath before viewing the photo.
        It is VERY graphic and totally real.
        However I offer it as a very shocking wake up call to idiots who callously minimize and joke about such matters like it’s no big deal.

    • Adam

      That was grotesque. What horror a man must live through while being subjected to “but what did he do to deserve it”

    • Steven

      There’s a poster that can be made out of this. The caption could be: “feminists think this is funny” or something like that. I’m sure you all can provide better examples.

  • Europa Phoenix

    I had a lot of negative comments on one of my videos on Youtube lately. It’s just a slide-show of my drawings about misandry (the viewers can watch in this slide-show a drawing about the happy reaction of Sharon Osbourne to the castration of Katherine Kieu’s husband), but the comments are very interesting… I have been amazed by the complete lack of compassion behind the comments.

    “I reserve my compassion for the genuine victims of oppression; not privileged people who waste their privilege on whiny self-pity.” is my favourite one (comment written by a man).

    “I drink your tears” is also an interesting comment.

    When my girlfriend read them (she helps me a lot to translate my work in English), she has been shocked.

    • Mercer Williams

      Anyone who reserves compassion for only those of a certain race and/or possessing a certain kind of genitalia has no real compassion at all. It is only a self-serving compassion that is designed to make you look like a much better person that you really are. I say ask this man if it was him with the severed penis, would he still think men don’t deserve compassion. However, I’d probably show compassion because unlike him and Sharon Osbourne, I’m not a sociopath.

      • The Real Peterman

        Well said, Mercer. We might as well call Adolph Hitler a “compassionate” person as someone who only cares about one gender or one race or one religion.

  • Robert St. Estephe

    Here’s a little example from the UHoM case files (illustrated) that shows how a woman who is victimized by not feeling “comfortable” of being loved exclusively or having 100% control of everyone surrounding her empowers herself and expresses her justified rage against the patriarchy. WARNING: It involves female genital mutilation, torture and murder.

    “Wife Murders Child Of Eleven Years Because She Kissed Father Too Much.” – 1915

    But remember, men are evil because they are men and women are holy because they are women.

    • Mercer Williams

      Isn’t it funny how the “evil” Men’s Rights Activists care more about female-on-female violence than the “compassionate” feminists and white knights.

      When clowns like Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton and every other opportunistic politician or activist talks of ending violence against women, what they really mean is only the violence perpetrated by men. So ladies, if your tormentor is another woman, you’re SOL because these “progressive” individuals don’t give two fucks about your plight.

  • Zerbu

    Again? As if one time wasn’t bad enough.

  • Gamerp4

    I just dont want to tell how angry these kind of cases makes me and when some woman like Sharon Osborne thinks and laugh it off as a joke that just takes me to another level and i just can’t bare it and i just think that it is like my manhood is being challenged.

    • Phil Davies

      Here’s a poignant video by one of my favourite Utubers, 6oodfella, in response to the Sharon Osborne atrocity.

  • Dannyboy

    Great write up about the issues at hand.
    That being said think you missed one that to me screams bigotry regarding violent assaults on men.

    A WOMAN who chopped off her ex partner’s penis to stop him impregnating other women will serve less than four years in jail.

    Jian Chen was this morning sentenced to a minimum of three years and nine months in jail after pleading guilty to the manslaughter of her ex partner Xian Peng at her North Ryde home in February 2011.

    The court accepted the guilty plea to the lesser charge, and withdrew the murder charge, because Chen was suffering from an “abnormality of the mind” due to mental illness and the belief Peng was going to take their child to China.

    Chen believed her husband was “a conman” who wanted to impregnate wealthy woman to get money off them, the court heard.

    The Supreme Court was told today Chen “laced” Peng’s soup dinner with sleeping tablets and then castrated him when he woke several hours later.

    He died in hospital the following night from his injuries.

    Psychiatric reports tendered to the court say Chen now accepts the killing was wrong.

    “But at the time he was a monster to me…his face was twisted,” she told a psychiatrist in an interview done before today’s sentencing.

    Justice Monika Schmidt gave her a 25 per cent reduction for the guilty plea.

    Allowing for the time she has already spent in jail, she will be eligible for parole in November 2014.

    Chen dabbed at her eyes with a tissue throughout the one-hour sentencing and said “thank you Your Honour” when Justice Schmidt finished.

    chen was not the only woman that day in the courts suffering from some “abnormality of the mind.”
    I’d have to say Justice Monika Schmidt has a few screws loose as well and is nuttier than squirrel shit.
    4 years for a murder charge and the pussy pass ideology goes round and round letting violent criminals off with a slap on the wrist for some of them most heinous crimes.

  • The Real Peterman

    Maybe someone should develop and market a steel athletic cup for men to protect against psychos like these.

    • Kimski

      Oh, they already have such a thingie..

      It’s called a straightjacket.
      -Comes with additional padded walls, and the right to lose the key permanently.

  • Becky

    Maybe the reason why rates of penis removal are high in Thailand is because there’s a thriving sex-change industry there.
    However, in the cases like these crimes mentioned, I think they should string up the perpetrator by her boobs and leave her hanging there.

    • kiwihelen

      Becky comparing violent mutilation to the lady-boys is not smart. I have little familiarity with the lady-boy culture, but have a reasonable grasp of the fa’fa’ini found in some pacific cultures, where there is almost a third gender state. In the fa’fa’ini they are intact male but take on certain feminine traits and roles. What is important is that there is a cultural aspect to transgender in some societies that we can not ascribe Western values to
      On a lighter note, it was priceless the first time one of my Scotish male friends ever met a fa’fa’ini…I had some explaining to do about the 300lb taxi driver with eye makeup, gel nails and a skirt

      • Becky

        Looks like I was misunderstood. I was not comparing the mutilation of men to sex-change operations at all, just speculating that the high rate in Thailand of penis removal, as mentioned in this article, might be misleading because it is not related to assault. Didn’t mean to distract from the issue here and if I did (or if I offended with my offhand suggestion of justice), I apologize.

        • tallwheel

          It is related to assault. I’ve heard that, for whatever reason, Thai women commonly think severing of the penis is suitable punishment for infidelity. It has nothing to do with sex reassignment surgery.

  • Malestrom

    I remain amazed by the fact that these stories are not shortly followed by other stories detailing the grisly deaths of the females responsible.

  • yurlungur

    I can hardly believe it, we have a out of the closet MRA writing in the mainstream media.
    maybe I need a physc evaluation.

    Daily Mail is one if not they most popular online newspaper in the UK; They get millions of hits.

    • Strange

      The Mail Online is now a huge hit in the US too. I’m not sure whether Peter Lloyd’s articles are on the American version though – would be great if they were!

  • Robert St. Estephe

    An important article. I paid little attention to the misandry scandal concerning “The Talk” when it was news, but after reading this article I have gone back and looked into it. I had not realized there were other recent cases.

    I am now starting to think of July 14, 2011 (Bastille Day!) as THE DAY FEMINISM DIED.

    Sharon Osbourne’s disgusting endorsement of sadism is more satanic than any devil metal song ever played. She deserves credit as the demon who brought the fraud of feminism down. Congratulations, Mistress. Congratulations, CBS. I wish you a “Happy “Bastille / End of Feminism Day” 2013, in advance!

  • Robert St. Estephe

    REgardeing: “The same misguided belief, I assume, that violent men feel when they throw acid in their ex-girlfriend’s face.”

    A large portion of acid-throwing cases in India and environs are instances of female-on-female violence (especially mothers-in-law against daughters-in-law).

    Here is a group of historical acid throwing cases from the US that helps us understand how deeply we have been deceived by feminist historians:

    “Acid Queens: Women Who Throw Acid”:

  • Woolybumblebee

    As a woman and an unashamed supporter of men’s rights, I have to say that women are not the innocent wallflowers that feminists would have everyone believe.

    I have seen many women, too many to count, abuse their spouses, boyfriends, and other male friends or family members on an almost constant basis. And of course they all think it’s perfectly fine, and even humorous to do so. But if the men in their lives did half of what these women did, they’d be vilified and most likely arrested.

    It’s a sad reality that men’s rights, and acknowledging the abuse of men are just not important to most. The feminists have duped most of society into only giving a damn about women, which I personally find insulting, as they have done so by making most women look absolutely incapable of defending themselves, and perpetuate the victim mentality that women seem to quite eagerly willing adopt.

    Stories like this disgust me. If a man did this to a woman’s breasts or vagina, there would be public outcry and immediate action would be taken in response these crimes. There would be women shouting from the rooftops for justice! But, as it is men who are the victims, who gives a damn right? It’s just so disgusting…

  • tallwheel

    I was about the same age when the Lorena Bobbit case occurred. It was the source of much joking among my male friends. At the time, I always thought of it as nothing more than an amusing freak accident, and had no doubt that the perpetrator was in prison and would be staying there for a long time. I only recently learned since joining the MRM that she got off practically scott-free and was treated like a celebrity on talk shows. I prefer my old ignorant reality. Guess I had too much faith in the system as a child.

  • chrixthegreat

    Transplants are now possible. Though from what I understand, it is not without its risks. Perhaps, in addition to preventative measures, we should increase awareness about the surgery and set up fund to help those who suffer from this form of mutilation.

    • WoolyBumblebee`

      I think that is a great idea. I am going to look into how one could set up such a fund, and spread awareness at the same time. I would love it if you would help if you are interested. Let me know. Thanks for the great idea and info. We really could use this type of thing.

  • Sting Chameleon

    I’m pretty sure none of those cackling hyenas who celebrate male genital mutilation would be happy about them getting something like this as payback: