Just drunk not raped

Spinning our Wheels on ‘Date Rape’: Time for a New Approach

Literally billions of dollars have been pumped into the war on rape over the past three decades, and it’s been an utter waste. Everyone agrees that the real battleground in the rape milieu is over so-called “date rape” and that our college campuses are ground zero for this war.

The sexual grievance industry insists that when it comes to rape, our college campuses are more dangerous places than the Tadmor Prison in Syria, where the bloodthirsty guards butcher inmates with axes for the fun of it. Yet they keep spinning their wheels, telling us the problem won’t go away, and they do the same things year after year after year, and nobody seems care. When it comes to “date rape,” we are at a sort of permanent and institutionalized stalemate.

They push for one loopy reform after the next to make it easier for all those hypothetical women out there who must have been raped to come forward. For one thing, they change the student disciplinary codes to engorge the definition of sexual assault to snag more “sex abusers”; they even try to flip the burden of proof for rape to force the accused male to prove consent. They enact rules that excuse drunk women from being charged with underage drinking so long as they report they’ve been raped (so what do you think drunk women are doing?). No idea is too extreme, too kooky, or too unjust to foist on presumptively innocent young men in the interest of getting these phantom women to “come forward.”

They hold rallies where our daughters are urged to “take back the night” even though our sons are at far greater risk of harm at the hands of deviant sociopaths.

They sponsor “clothesline projects” where young women supposedly too scared to report their rapes to the proper authorities are empowered enough to scrawl the names of their alleged attackers on t-shirts along with empowering slogans like “keep your dick to yourself!” They hang ceramic penises on a clothesline as a symbolic assault on “patriarchy.”

Paid speakers travel from college to college with slick PowerPoint presentations to shame Freshman men who would never dream of raping a woman into believing masculinity is inherently flawed, and that fantasizing about a hot classmate in Economics 101 is “rape lite.”

They plaster posters in dorms saying that “only men can stop rape,” even though virtually all men are as innocent as the most innocent woman. And they tacitly, and not so tacitly, encourage women to engage in risky behaviors with even deviant sociopaths.

They pump tuition and tax dollars into chronically underutilized campus rape crisis centers, which Heather MacDonald described as follows: “It’s a lonely job, working the phones at a college rape crisis center. Day after day, you wait for the casualties to show up from the alleged campus rape epidemic—but no one calls.” See here.

And when the inevitable false rape claim occurs, which, truth be told, is far more likely in college than a legitimate rape claim, the campus becomes Salem, Massachusetts, 1692. When the claim is finally revealed as a lie and the witch hunt ends, first they refuse to accept it, then they use it as an occasion to teach students about the dangers of — you guessed it — rape.

After all that, and no matter what happens, they have the chutzpah to insist rape is still rampant, even though it isn’t. Despite all the reforms, all the shaming, and all the resources dumped into the toilet, all these supposedly raped women still aren’t reporting; young women still find it’s easier to pretend they’ve been slipped a date rape drug than to admit they regret having sex the night before; the supposed recipients of white male privilege are still decent people; and the sexual grievance industry still insists it needs more and more funding.

It’s Bill Murray in “Groundhog Day.” Nothing changes. And like all the characters Mr. Murray encounters every day (which is really the same day), everybody is just fine with it.

The ones who pay the price for the manufactured rape hysteria are the innocent young men unlucky enough to be falsely accused. They are dragged before a constipated disciplinary hearing board whose mission in life is to rebuke the undeservedly privileged (i.e., white males). In these forums, which resemble the Star Chamber without as much fairness, the presumptively innocent are presumed guilty, addressed in scolding tones, and offered virtually no support while their accusers are treated as if they were Holocaust survivors. And the parents of boys who might be next tolerate this because the mainstream media never told them it goes on.

Even if you buy into the lie that rape is rampant, how on earth can you continue to let these goofs lead the war against it? We keep giving them money, and we let them do whatever pops into their heads to our sons, and every year it’s the same thing: “Rape is rampant, and hardly any women are reporting their rapes.”

If you went to your boss every year and reported what a failure you’ve been, how long would you last? We all know the definition of insanity, don’t we?

This is insane.

But, of course, the reason they keep telling us rape is rampant and women aren’t reporting is obvious. If they told us the truth, they’d be out of business. They’ve invented a scare to keep them employed, and they’re going to ride it for as long as we don’t blame them. When we finally start blaming them, they will start to paint a rosier picture — “rape is still a problem, but we’ve cut it in half.” Trust me, I’d bet my left testicle on it.

By any measure, the “war” on rape isn’t working. So what’s the answer? It’s simple. Open the windows and let the truth in.

First, acknowledge something nobody can plausibly deny: “he said/she said” date rape claims place an impossible burden on the people investigating them. Stop pretending otherwise. Even true believer feminists, like prominent feminist legal scholar Aya Gruber, admit that the criminal justice system is not equipped to deal with date rape. See here.

“He said/she said” disputes over rape need to be summarily dealt with. If the guy has a plausible explanation and there’s no real evidence beyond her claim, it gets dropped immediately. Such claims usually are declared “unfounded” now, but not before the police or the college stage a sadistic passion play, a game of “humiliate-the-male” to appease the man-hating nitwits. Like Christ declared innocent by Pilate – “take him out and flog him before you release him.”

And let’s add one other thing: if there’s evidence beyond his word that she lied, she gets prosecuted. No questions asked. Second, we need to end the Chicken Little, lock-the-doors-and-hide-the-daughters hysteria because it is encouraging young women to construe bad romps in the hay as rape that deserve to be sanctioned by the college, law enforcement, or both.

This means firing everyone who works in the sexual grievance industry, shutting down the rape counseling centers, and telling our college administrators to stop paying speakers to come on campus to humiliate almost half of the school’s paying customers. (How on earth do parents of young men put up with that?)

Third, focusing on so-called “date rape” skirts the real issue and ignores the elephant in the room. Men and women are looking for different things in sex. Men want sex, and women want men. Studies show that women experience far greater after-the-fact regret than men. See here. Instead of Freshman orientation where young men are shamed for daring to have a penis, we need to start educating our young women that feelings of regret are natural – and that they need to think more carefully about having sex in the first place.

A female law professor in London named Helen Reece  recently wrote a provocative piece positing that “police have succumbed to campaigners’ pressure to treat every allegation of rape with the utmost seriousness.” But, she cautioned, “treating all rape complaints seriously means treating all false allegations seriously.” She continues: “The nightmare scenario is approaching where every rape complaint is seen as pointing to a prosecution, if possible for rape, and if that’s not possible, for a false allegation. Instead, we should save prosecutions for only the most heinous sexual crimes, and drag the law back out of teenagers’ messy sex lives.”

Ms. Reece candidly explains: “I remember the day when one of my best friends burst into tears on the bus on the way to school, before revealing to me and another friend that one of our classmates ‘had tried to rape her’. A box of tissues later, it became clear that what had happened was that he had made a very direct pass at her, which she had responded to up to a point but felt awful about afterwards. We didn’t brand our classmate a rapist, but nor did we think that our friend was a liar. We understood that this was her way of telling us that she felt really rubbish about what had happened, particularly because it meant that she had been ‘unfaithful’ to her long-term boyfriend. It never occurred to any of us to involve teachers or parents, let alone the police.”

It’s not the boys who need to change, it’s the young women. In every other sphere of life, women insist that they not be portrayed as helpless pawns waiting to be rescued by the handsome Disney prince. But when it comes to alleged date rape, all of those lofty empowering sentiments go sailing out the window. Anyone who has the temerity to suggest that women who drink are free moral agents capable of making decisions for themselves is a misogynist and a rape apologist. In the bedroom, women are not doers but victims, damsels in more distress than the most passive Disney princess.

We cannot empower our daughters by pretending they are powerless. It’s time we insist our daughters grow up and start taking personal responsibility for their actions.

Here endeth the sermon.

About False Rape Society

The False Rape Society is dedicated to giving voice to the men and women harmed by false accusations. The two founders, Pierce Harlan and E. Steven Berkimer are regular contributors to A Voice for Men.

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  • Alphabeta Supe

    Superb article.

    I really look forward to these posts from FRS for their clarity and level-headedness. I get a surge of outrage in my activist blood whenever I read them, although it’s heartbreaking to hear the stories of young men being used as pawns on this ever more tilted political chessboard.

    I made a promise to myself on Jan 1st this year to respond in a material way to every new false allegation I read about in the media. I encourage anyone who can to do so too and keep up the momentum as the year progresses.

    I sent this email to the Ottawa Police Service a few moments ago about this report:

    http://www.emcorleans.ca/20110210/news/Sex+attack+hoax+won%27t+lead+to+charges+for+teenaged+claimant

    If anyone else chooses to do so, I strongly recommend that you make it salty but keep it clean. Don’t want any Canadian mounties appearing on your doorstep with a hate mail arrest warrant.

    1. THE YOUTH IN THE MEDIA REPORT BELOW COMMITTED A HOAX CRIME THAT COST THE TAXPAYER PERHAPS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. IF YOU’D ARRESTED A SUSPECT AND SHE’D POINTED A FINGER AT HIM AN INNOCENT MAN COULD HAVE GONE TO PRISON. WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ARE YOU NOT CHARGING HER?

    2. SHE WASN’T A VICTIM OF ANYTHING – SHE IS A CONFESSED CRIMINAL. WHY DO YOU NOT RELEASE HER NAME SO INNOCENT MEN MIGHT KNOW TO AVOID HER IN CASE SHE WISHES TO LIE ABOUT INTERACTIONS THEY MIGHT HAVE WITH HER, THAT COULD LAND THEM IN PRISON AND POSSIBLY ASSAULTED OR RAPED THEMSELVES?

    3. HOW IS RELEASING THE NAME OF A HOAXSTER IN ANY WAY GOING TO DETER GENUINE VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT FROM COMING FORWARD? ALL THIS WILL DO IS INCREASE THE LIKELIHOOD OF MORE HOAXES AND REDUCE THE LIKELIHOOD THAT THE PUBLIC WILL TAKE ACTUAL ASSAULTS SERIOUSLY.

    CHARGING AND NAMING HER IS A PUBLIC SAFETY MATTER.

    WHO ON EARTH IS MAKING THE DECISIONS AT OPS, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE???

    2011 – The Year of Men

    • CJC1295DAC

      I wrote a similar letter to both the Ottawa Citizen and the Ottawa Sun over this ridiculous set of nonsense. Of course, my letters to the editors went unpublished, as they always do. It’s more important to run a story about how our bus service has degraded since Ottawa Transit decided to take scheduling out of the hands of the union and put it into the hands of politicians.

      Of note, Ottawa Police did submit the matter to the Crown Attorney, who, at HER discretion, decided not to proceed with charging the teen girl.

      No reason was given as to why charges would not be pursued. None will be forthcoming.

      No reason, either, was ever given as to why this girl made up this elarborate fabrication. None will be forthcoming.

      And in even more news of concern, it appears that Canada Border Services had to actually get legislation passed in order for them to search “Women’s Shelters” for illegal immigrants. It seems that a way to circumvent immigration authorities is to claim abuse and rape and hide in a women’s shelter. No man is necessary to blame, specifically. Just show up and make the claim and hide inside for an indefinite period of time. You can remain completely anonymous and live off of social services through a proxy in the shelter!

      Rape fraud/lies/disinformation/misinformation/indoctrination/enstupidification is a big-bucks industry that feeds off the deep pockets of government and produces absolutely no return on investment.

      As a paramedic and firefighter, I have had occasion to visit many of these shelters in Ottawa and they are decked out in style. Who wouldn’t want to live in a hotel-like environment with food and rent and utilities all on the government dime?

      Pardon me while I fix myself a scotch or two. Or three.

  • !!SPARTA!!

    As a young, black guy
    Who likes white pussy
    and yellow pussy
    and brown pussy
    and very little black pussy
    but red is OK
    I’m probably the most at risk of a false rape claim

    I’m considering buying some audio recording equipment
    that’s small enough to not be noticeable
    but produces good sound quality
    To protect myself
    Last thing I need is Uncle Jeff, Jerald and Bill coming after me with their pitchforks

  • !!SPARTA!!

    This one time
    This chick wanted me to be rough with her
    she said: “Hit me!”
    so I slapped her on the ass
    “No, HIT ME”
    So I relented begrudgingly and hit her lightly
    “TAKE IT HIT ME HARDER”
    At which point I had to say: “Ok woman, that’s enough. I’m not going to ‘rape’ you so that you can get your rocks off and I end up in prison or worse”
    So I left…

    • Snark

      By not hitting her harder when she asked, you failed to satisfy her, in the way she demanded, and so you raped her (new feminist definition).

      Of course, had you hit her harder, that would also have been rape (new feminist definition).

      Get it yet? Whatever you do, it’s rape. All men are rapists (older feminist policy statement).

      • Tom

        To quote Fred Reed:

        http://www.fredoneverything.net/Rape.shtml

        “. . . To a feminist, everything sounds like rape. Peanut butter sounds like rape. Wallpaper sounds like rape. The dew on the flowers of morn sounds like rape. I note in passing that Kitty Mac speaks of sex with men as an alien concept, as if she knew of it by dispatches from a distant front.

        I think feminists hate the idea of normal sex because they regard men as poachers . . . .”

  • Watertiger

    We need to pull the boys in college aside….

    “Dude! Listen up! If you have sex with any female on this campus she will accuse you of rape & ruin your life! You’ll be a registered sex offender FOREVER! I don’t care if she says she loves you! I don’t care if she says she wants you! The next morning you’ll be in handcuffs…and YOUR new boyfriend will be meeting you down at county lock-up. His nick name is Thunder, ’cause he’s gonna darken your sky!
    Oh yeah! If you tell her she’s hot, or cop a feel? It’s called “mini-rape” and can get you expelled for harrasment! You’ll loose your scholarship, tuition & the only other college that will take you is Bubba Jones School of Loser-ology.
    DO NOT FUCK THE FEMALES HERE! It will crash every dream you ever had!”

    ….And they can’t figure out why the male population in colleges is going down????

    • Christopher

      Hardly. The reason that the male population in colleges is going down is because of the ‘affirmative action’ things that are not necessary in our colleges today… heck, in the past 10 years, they haven’t really been necessary in regards to women or blacks.

  • Ben

    Students are kicked out of school every day in this country for academic dishonesty. At the same time, college girls are actually rewarded for making false rape accusations by gaining immunity to underage drinking laws. Shouldn’t falsifying rape be considered some punishable form of dishonesty too? Wounded combat vets in college are not even safe from a false accusation in today’s society from piece-of-garbage self-esteem princesses.

  • Gordon Hickey (frontierguy)

    We all know that rape is a crime, just as we know that pedestrians have the right of way; but would you tell your children that it was all right for them to play on the streets as it is the drivers responsibility to watch out for them? I think not. But this is exactly what the sexual grievance industry is telling the young women. Perhaps they would support the idea of removing the walk lights and crosswalks.

    • Christopher

      No, what they should do is put in the law that if a woman takes a man home with her or goes to a hotel with him willingly, the sexual encounter is automatically assumed to be consensual, absent severe physical injury to the woman in question.

      Personally, that is what I told my daughters would be necessary for me to believe them about them being raped…. some injury that said that the man forced his attention on them and they fought back against him.

  • http://www.versifier59.wordpress.com Captain DaPoet

    RE: It’s time we insist our daughters grow up and start taking personal responsibility for their actions.
    ———————-

    Good luck cause girls never grow up.

    • http://www.CanadaCourtWatch.com Attila L. Vinczer

      “Good luck cause girls never grow up.”
      Yes they do. Their tales becoming taller and taller by the year. The sky is their limit so long as we allow it to be so!

      • Christopher

        Apparently, none of you have daughters or have raised daughters. While I agree that false allegations of sexual abuse and rape are becoming more and more common, the basis behind them is usually to direct attention away from the fact that the girls are having sex with someone who their parents would not like them having sex with.

        If we would stop allowing the parents to have any say in whom their children/teenagers/young adults sexual matter, I bet that we would see a lot of these false allegations disappear because the children wouldn’t have to find a ‘fall guy’ to accuse of something that someone else had been doing.

        • Tom

          Unfortunately, the parents’ beliefs, values, and opinions do not matter to the law and women lie about rape for a number of reasons other than for sympathy and attention:

          http://home.earthlink.net/~jamiranda/whyLie.htm

          “. . . 1. Revenge and rage. A woman feels “used” by a man after having had sex with him, or a boyfriend dumps her. Sometimes this is the result of game playing activity that gets out of control.

          2. Alibi. She comes from a puritanical background and other people found out she had sex so she claimed “rape” to disclaim responsibility. Or she can claim she was innocent when engaging in adultery. Or she may have gotten pregnant and wants to justify an abortion in an anti-choice community . . .

          3. Money from the accused. Charging celebrities with rape or other crimes can lead to out of court settlements in which the accuser receives considerable sums of money.

          4. Attention-seeking and self-delusion. This is common in people with Borderline Personality Disorder and closely related to hypochondriasis and/or Munchausen’s syndrome.

          5. Divorce or child custody fight. Accusing a husband (or other partner) of rape or domestic violence serves as additional ammunition in dissolving a marriage or gaining custody of children.

          6.Pseudo-science. “Recovered Memory Therapy” and other fads encourage mass hysteria in which false accusations are routine.

          7. Racism. During the segregation era, white women would frequently victimize black men by claiming they were the subjects of their sexual advances. The Scottsboro Boys is one famous case in which women, in conjunction with racists, used false charges of rape to attempt to legally lynch nine men.

          8. Force competition among men. By claiming to be victims, women get men to compete and fight among each other. Patriarchical men, who gain their power by victimizing other men, use the excuse of “protecting women from rape” to attack other men. In other words, women who claim to be victims and rely upon the power structure to “protect” them are falling for the oldest sexist game in the book. The Emmett Till case is a notorious example of this sort of behavior.

          9. Corrupt criminal justice system. Prosecutors frequently make reputations for being “tough on crime” by persecuting men and women on trumped up charges of rape and sexual assault . . .

          10. Mass hysteria. The combination of sexual repression, paranoia, mob psychology and media sensationalism frequently leads to mass delusions in which the innocent are accused of the most outlandish sexual offenses. The McMartin Preschool case is a typical, disgusting example of how innocent people are falsely accused of sex crimes. There’s a long history of this sort of thing, from the Salem witch hunts through the lynching of African-Americans. Today’s mass hysteria over sex crimes may be just the latest manifestation.

          11. “Raising consciousness”. Feminists sometimes make up stories about rape in order to “alert” others about the threat of sexual assault . . . . ”

          12. Women lie about rape to cover up their own criminal activities (see False Rape Society for several examples of this)

          13. Compensation payments. Several countries pay complainants when an outcry is made.

          These and many more! (unfortunately)

          Good reading list:

          http://falserapearchives.blogspot.com/2010/01/false-rape-primer.html

  • http://scentednectar.blogspot.com/ Scented Nectar

    Drunken regret sex being wrongly called rape really pisses me off, and I want to know something. Aren’t the guys they’re having sex with ALSO drunk? If the guy wakes up the next day, looks beside himself in bed and is horrified by seeing he took home a really ugly/annoying/whatever one, and he gets all regretful, didn’t SHE take advantage of HIM and therefore ‘rape’ him? Just saying, eh…

    • Ben

      Absolutely. By the same line of reasoning, the man can say he was raped as well. Nearly every time, they are both drunk. Can you imagine a situation where only the girl is drunk and the guy is sober? That just doesn’t make much sense.

    • BeijaFlor

      Reasoning has nothing to do with this. It’s about rage, revenge, morning-after regrets, alibis, and general out-and-out feminist sexist harassment.

      I do believe the goal is to re-define “rape” as “anything a man does, to, for or about a woman, that involves sex.”

  • Peter Charnley

    @Main Article.
    “We cannot empower our daughters by pretending they are powerless. It’s time we insist our daughters grow up and start taking personal responsibility for their actions.”

    This applies to the whole feminist package – from false rape statistics, the overt feminist bigotry of ‘positive’ discrimination, to the false and imagined causes cited (ridiculous to anyone with a functioning brain) behind supposed discriminatory pay-gap figures.

    We are surely living in an age of gyno-’cloud cuckoo land’ at present. God will one day provide me with an explaination as to why it had to coincide with my life. It will be interesting.

    • Christopher

      Personally, I know that women are not as physically weak as some people would like to make them out to be. My cousin is smaller than I am, and she can pick up my 230 pounds and bodyslam me…. she is not any ‘bodybuilder supreme’ either.

  • Giselle

    Why not email a woman before you date her and save all of her sexually aggressive and graphic emails. Lord knows Ive written them. Ask her to tell you what she wants you to do her and Save those emails. I think that women, young women especially, have a hard time dealing with the fact that they really might want to bang the whole football team, so on the rare occasion where they do end up doing that taboo act, they feel embarassed, and dirty..and convince themsleves that they were intimidated and raped, rather than admit to themselves, after years of “the privileged princess” syndrome, that they are not perfect , innocent glass slipper wearing angels, but carnal raw horny beasts…as nature intended…

    • Christopher

      The privileged princess isn’t the problem here. The problem is that girls AND boys are not made to take responsibility for their own sexual actions and inactions, so when they get to be adults, they think they shouldn’t have to take responsibility for those then either.

      Thankfully, I taught my children that they did have to take responsibility for those things, as did my cousin with their children.

    • Ben

      Often, judges will not allow such supportive evidence. We live in an anti-male police state. Men cannot even trust their own attornies to aggressively defend them or even bother to show up with the video tapes or sexually aggressive messages. They call that “blaming the victim” and that infuriates me to no end.

      • Tom

        Legal Motions to consider when falsely accused:

        http://www.allencowling.com/motions.htm

        discussing these motions with your attorney could prompt better representation, get evidence admitted, and provide other benefits. The moral of the story is that one must take an active role in the legal process when one is falsely accused. Trust no one! Don’t lie(!) (especially to yourself). Do your own homework.

        Watch/Listen to Demosthenes Lorandos:

        http://www.youtube.com/user/AccusedFalsely#g/f

  • rebtus

    @ Giselle,
    Do you really think it’s a good idea to sent email about sexual expectations. It may be used as evidence against you for publicity or embarrassment.
    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/12/opinion/12collins.html?partner=rss&emc=rss
    Quote
    “Representative Chris Lee set a record for swift resolution of a sex scandal this week. It began on Wednesday afternoon, when the Web site Gawker posted e-mail correspondence between Lee and a 34-year-old woman who went on Craigslist searching for a “financially & emotionally secure man” who did not resemble a toad”

  • http://men-factor.blogspot.com ScareCrow P-Man

    The ads that claim that 1 in 4 women in college will be raped – are targeting the parents of the young women in college.

    The theory being that – if the parents had enough money to send their kids to college – they might have extra.

    If you can scare parents into thinking that their daughter (now away from home) has a 1 in 4 chance of being raped – you can scare them into giving you their money.

    • Giselle

      1 i n 4? Where are we, the Congo? Please. Maybe 1 in 1000, and most of the time it has either to do with drinking too much and passing out in a house with 50 horny guys (not rape) or some pervert psycho off the street who doesnt even attend the college. Who said 1 in 4? Thats freaking retarded!

  • http://the-spearhead.com zed

    There is another aspect to this which I have never seen discussed, but which I think is important because it affects a much larger group than just the college age crowd where the whole “date-rape” hysteria is concentrated. And that is – what will be the long term effects on the attitudes toward dating and mating of these men who are being demonized?

    At the cultural level it seems that the idea that women might actually enjoy sex themselves just cannot be accepted. It is always cast – by both left and right – as a mostly one-way transaction in which the man benefits and the woman “gives” him something. When young women are at the height of their fertility-based attractiveness and young men are at the greatest mercy of the bundle of hormones they were handed, this may be true. But, there is life after college, and even after age 30.

    As a man ages, and his sexual needs go down, it is inevitable that the thought enters his mind “Hey, if sex is such an awful thing to do to women, maybe I should think about not doing it any more.”

    Back in the mid-90s, feminist author Wendy Dennis came out with a book titled “Hot & Bothered: Sex and Love in the 90s” in which she made the statement that “men were punishing women in the cruelest way possible – by not wanting them any more.” But, if “all sex is rape” and “men can stop rape”, isn’t the best way for men to do this is to stop doing this awful thing to women?

    I’ve written before about the modern conception of men as robots – unfeeling creatures who must follow a set of software instructions dictated by social programming. And nowhere is this perverse idea more prevalent than in the arena of sexual interaction in which sex is fine – as long as it meets the following 99 conditions.

    But, what if somewhere around condition 50 or so, the burdensomeness of it starts to outweigh the man’s innate drive and any anticipation of the experience being positive in any way? The authors of the “Antioch Rules” were obviously people who had never had sex in their lives. “(Mother) May I touch your breast?”, “(Mother) May I put my hand inside your panties?” is antithetical to the mystery and anticipation of authentic sexual arousal.

    After about the 3rd required “(Mother) May I?” even the horniest of young men is going to find his mind wandering to how he might achieve that next level in World of Warcraft.

    All over the net these days you will find blogs by single women in their late 20s to late 30s who cannot seem to find any men to take a serious interest in them. Sure, there are plenty of players, and a serious player can approach 100 women in one night in a club – leading women to the erroneous belief that men are just as interested in them as they ever were.

    Interested for a quick pump & dump, maybe, but not much more.

    The fundamental force of attraction between men as men and women as women is sexual. Their interests and temperaments are often enough different that without the bond of sexual intimacy, they would not really seek each other out.

    For all of human history, men have been the “designated initiators” – when a man and a woman meet, everyone in the world knows that it is the man’s “job” to try to move things forward, while it is the woman’s “job” to dig in her heels and slow things down and keep them from happening too fast. It is a very neat and effective division of labor and duties – men make sure relationships happen, women make sure they are kept on track and have the chance to develop into something besides raging hormones.

    But, now that women are no longer doing their jobs – letting things plunge wildly ahead and then punishing the male for her dropping the ball on her responsibilities – the burden is shifting onto men to become the gatekeepers of sex. And, it is pretty easy – all they have to do is not show up for work in their “designated initiator” roles.

    And, men are doing this. It’s still pretty easy for a woman up to the “cougar” age to hook up and get pumped and dumped. It is apparently getting much more difficult to get an actual date. Dalrock has some interesting posts on what he calls “Post Marital Spinsterhood” http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2010/10/25/post-marital-spinsterhood/

    Many women, especially those who have not remarried (69%), do not touch or hug at all sexually.

    Now, this may be just fine with these women – I don’t really know. And, it being fine with them fits very well into the narrative that “all sex is rape, and women hate it.” The problem is that without sexual intimacy as the glue to hold a relationship together, there is little to no reason for men to engage.

    Whether “our daughters” ever get “empowered” or not, or whether they ever “grow up” or not, it is absolutely certain that they are going to grow older, lose some of their youthful sexual appeal, and have as their potential mates a group of men for whom the entire idea of sex has been badly poisoned.

    Rape hysteria is a bit like giving Antabuse (Disulfiram) to an alcoholic as a means of aversive conditioning to make the nausea s/he feels from drinking so unpleasant that it overwhelms the positive feelings of the experience.

    Setting our young men up to criminalize them for such a basic instinct is the worst kind of rigged game. But, history has shown us that as strong as that instinct is, it can be overcome with strong enough social conditioning and pressure.

    Killing men’s desire for them by punishing it so severely is not going to serve women as they grow out of their college years into childless and affectionless middle age.

    • Carlos

      Brilliant. This post should be it’s whole own article.

    • Ben

      When a man approaches a woman that he has not been properly introduced to, he is seen as a potential abuser by the woman and she is typically not concerned with what he is saying but with how to get rid of him and whether or not she should get their 275 pound male friend to run the guy off. Men know this and typically avoid such situations.

      I am a veteran of the Marine Corps, in my 30s and in college and find college life to be utterly miserable. We have an out-of-control false rape problem on campus, the clothes line projects, and the full anti-male wrath of the abuse industry with massaged rape and domestic violence statistics plastered on every bulletin board. These college girls are worthless entitlement princesses. You should see the way they look at veterans. I have USMC tattood on the back of my fore-arm and have received personal attacks just for that.

      There truly is a deep-seated hatred of anything male. We have a huge influx of metrosexuals and feminine men on campus. It is outrageous. Those guys never get falsely accused of rape, only the normal, masculine men. I think false rape is just another front of the war against masculinity.

      Females even get to register for classes before males, which is outrageous sex discrimination. This even includes prior servicemen. All of the classes fill up and run out of seats also and this policy is literally ruining the dreams of men in college. The overprivaleging of females is really causing men to resent them. They are even taking over the engineering classes.

      Engineering firms have to hire a certain percentage of females or they face government intervention. I do not look forward to working with them. Any one of them could destroy my career and reputation at the drop of a hat just by making up some false harrassment claim. The message is clear: Never do anything that even mildly displeases a woman at work or you could lose your career. This is totalitarianism and must stop!

      Paul, if you happen to read this, thank you very much for this site! Men really have been silenced for too long.

      • http://www.avoiceformen.com/activism-page/karma/ KARMA MRA MGTOW

        Get those AVFM stickers/posters up, target young males only.

        They might not get it right off the bat but the meme will be set in motion.

        If I was to ever win the lotto I would send stickers and posters out by the container ship load.

    • John A

      Zed,
      I live this. Sex with wife becomes more about relief than love. Take less than she gives, lest you should be grateful for it.

      As a man ages, and his sexual needs go down, it is inevitable that the thought enters his mind “Hey, if sex is such an awful thing to do to women, maybe I should think about not doing it any more.”
      Back in the mid-90s, feminist author Wendy Dennis came out with a book titled “Hot & Bothered: Sex and Love in the 90s” in which she made the statement that “men were punishing women in the cruelest way possible – by not wanting them any more.” But, if “all sex is rape” and “men can stop rape”, isn’t the best way for men to do this is to stop doing this awful thing to women?

      My wife talks about her friends, how some have strategies to deny their husbands sex, others are proud because their husbands don’t want much sex after 50. I say their husbands just don’t want sex with them, some have mistresses, others abstain while other please themselves.

      A lot of women, wives included make men feel like rapists or like they are seeing a prostitute.

      Once you get to mid-life, sex with a women who doesn’t respond or who uses it for a tool, is not worth too much effort. (until you can’t stand it anymore)

    • Tom

      “Setting our young men up to criminalize them for such a basic instinct is the worst kind of rigged game. But, history has shown us that as strong as that instinct is, it can be overcome with strong enough social conditioning and pressure.

      Killing men’s desire for them by punishing it so severely is not going to serve women as they grow out of their college years into childless and affectionless middle age.”

      In his book ‘The Art of Love’, the Roman poet, Ovid, wrote this BRUTAL curse for the woman who did not let him see his beloved:

      “May the gods deny you the warmth of a home in your wretched old age,
      and condemn you to an unquenchable thirst, and a winter without end. ”

      It is well deserved to those who would criminalize and condemn a man’s natural instincts.

  • elvis

    The American gender-Raunch community have usurped a huge degree of social, cultural, and institutionalized “Empowerment”, by spreading the faulty and inflamatory agitation propaganda that women are being raped on college campuses all over, but are too scared to come forward.
    American law enforcement are enabling and fostering the “Empowerment” of the American Gender-Raunch community..
    A, by not charging false rape accusers;
    and B, by letting the Rape hysteria agitation propaganda stand as truth, when it is not.
    Thats why I say there needs to be a civil rights, constitutional action to “Get gender feminist misinformation out of American law enforcement”
    If the American gender-Raunch community are gonna “Empower” themselves, let them do it without perverted misinformation and manufactured statistics alliances with American law enforcement.

  • Duke

    Abstinence really is the only solution.It is just too dangerous for a man to have a relationship with a woman anymore or even to be alone in their presence.There are four things a man should avoid at all costs-booze,drugs,women,and children.If you do that your chances of ever winding up in a prison cell are greatly diminished.

  • Eddie Van Helsing

    I agree, but there isn’t much I can do end the date rape hysteria unless I’m on a jury. If I’m on a jury, and it’s date rape, then I always vote to acquit, and I always try to persuade the other jurors to do the same. Jury nullification is an important weapon that men need to understand and reclaim.

  • Giselle

    Well thats too bad that the congressman got caught for cheating, but still, If u have a woman emailing you, asking for hot sex and mentioning how she cant wait to see ou naked etc, then theres really no way she can say that she was raped, when the emails show that she had every intention of fucking you ro begin with. Look, Real rape is a crime, but if you get a little tipsy and end up smooching some guy and then at his apartment and get laid, Its NOT rape. You know what rape is? real forced unwanted sex. A punch to the face a choke hold, crying screaming, painful intercourse…that’s rape. Not “oh i drank too much and woke up with some strange guy and i think he raped me”.

  • rebtus

    @ Giselle,
    This is a stub of Gogle search,
    ‘Campus Police | Safety Booklet A concealed handgun permit does not allow a person to carry a weapon on any … [Having intercourse with a subject that is incapacitated due to alcohol or … When you call the UNCSA Police because you are the victim of a sex crime, …
    http://www.uncsa.edu/campuspolice/SBpolicy.htm – Cached”

  • http://falserapesociety.blogspot.com/ Pierce Harlan

    If you want to see another injustice to men stemming from an allegation of date rape, see here: http://falserapesociety.blogspot.com/2011/02/college-men-who-file-suit-after-being.html

  • Watertiger

    Although “real” date rape does happen, there are ways to avoid it. By taking the usual precautions of NOT getting drunk, NOT going into his house & NOT inviting him into yours will protect you in most situations.

    These college girls that go to frat parties, get sloppy drunk, pass out and wake up with their panties missing do not inspire much pity from me. Nor does the woman who invites a man in, starts making out then, when things get heated, are like “Oops! Sorry! You gotta leave now!”

    If you aren’t going to have sex, why did you take him home?
    If you aren’t going to have sex, why are you in his house?
    If you aren’t going to have sex, why did you let yourself get fall down drunk at a party full of strangers?

    If you aren’t SURE you want to sleep with someone, then DON’T! It saves you that awful “Oh-Crap-What-Was-I-Thinking” feeling the next morning!

  • John A

    False rape accusations are just another convenient way to dispose of unwanted men.

    Alternatively, you can attach your guilt to a man and dispose of them both together.

    Damn guilt! keeps on coming back.

  • Nick S

    The reasons women experience more regret over casual sex are perhaps slightly more subtle and complicated than the conventional wisdom about differences between the sexes: men want easy sex, women want longer-term relationships and emotional intimacy.

    Part of what is going on is that women nowadays tend to be more sexually promiscuous than they were in the past, largely because there are far fewer risks involved in being so. In times past, a young woman who slept around a lot ran the risk of developing a bad reputation that would make it difficult to find a husband, possibly falling pregnant, facing the social stigma of being an unwed mother, living in poverty etc. Now, everything has changed. Women have complete control over abortion, reproduction, child custody and family law favors them. Single motherhood is far more socially acceptable. Women no longer need men economically because the state confiscates more resources from men through various means and transfers more to women. In short, women hold all the trump cards, and the risks they face are minimal. There is no real need for a woman to find a good man or convince him she is capable of being a good wife and mother in order to have a reasonable life.

    In contrast, men who sleep around nowadays face greater risks and vulnerabilities, such as lack of reproductive rights, being tricked into parenthood, paternity fraud, draconian sexual harassment guidelines, false rape allegations, being marginalized from any role in the family or raising children (while instead being treated as disposable wallets and sperm banks). Indeed, it would make more sense to start talking about ‘fallen men’ instead of ‘fallen women’.

    It is hardly surprising that women today are more promiscuous when the costs are relatively small relative to the benefits (such as sexual freedom and complete control over reproduction and ‘independence’ from men). In short, society has granted women a vastly greater degree of sexual freedom. But while women have gained greater sexual license and autonomy, women have not given up their desire to exercise influence over men, and more particularly, to control and restrict male sexuality. This is where much of the ambivalence arises. Women cannot enjoy their own sexual freedom without also giving men greater sexual opportunities as well. The traditional female cartel strategy of restricting men’s access to sex in order to increase the value of female sexuality is undermined.

    This is where the whole gender feminist criminalization of male sexuality comes into play. It is a way of using the law to replace traditional female behaviors as a means of controlling and regulating male sexuality. Things like extreme sexual harassment policies, false rape allegations, expanding the legal definition of rape, keeping prostitution illegal and upping penalties for men, restricting porn etc. are all about increasing the risks of male sexual freedom and thereby maintaining some value on female sexuality and control over male sexuality. While women are entitled to their freedom, men should be grateful for the odd treat that falls from the table. If they are good boys, that is.

    The truth is worse than many imagine. It is not enough to marginalize men and treat them as disposable when it comes to having a role to play in the family, the workplace or society. We must also ensure they do not have any fun as a consolation prize. For those beta males marginalized by feminism, they really deserve nothing at all.

    • Giselle

      This reminded me of an episode of Bridezilla’s where some ugly blob of a girl went out to her bachelorette party to a male strip club and was groping the male dancers private parts and buns, and getting all horny and lustful and later that evening, she actually cried when she found out that her fiance had gone to a strip club with ladies dancing…she told him “i dont want any strippers around you at all” of course he married her. Another time this even fatter mess spent the entire week before their wedding screaming at her husband to be and calling him a fat pig, making him take ettiquette classes and work out, while she ate ice cream and yelled at him, She made him ride in the backseat of the car and constantly berated him…YES He MARRIED HER TOO!WTF~~

  • elvis

    The American Gender-Raunch community, in order to feed their insatiable appetite for more, and more, “Empowerment”; continue to pervert American law enforcement into further and further eroding of men and boys “Basic constitutional protections”.
    American law enforcement will eventually have to answer for these constitutional transgressions of men and boys “Basic constitutional protections”.

  • Russell

    Has anyone heard of Alan Northrop? He spent 17 years in prison for a rape he didn’t commit, recently released and issued a 111,000 bill for child maintenance.

    Has anyone talked with him? Would he make a good Govenor? Fight the psychology, not the people, they’re useful idiots or are evil, useless for anything but stiffling conterdiction in quagmire.

    My personal opinion of using children in the anti-anti-rape campaign is one of disfavor… sinking to their level, weaponizing children is something feminists and racially active groups do. Unbecoming as far as middle ground appeal needed.Address the underlying concerns and we may find more allies than can be counted.

    Northrop and what can be assoicated with him is enough to subtly set off every profile we’d like to set off… simply by showing his face and knowing his background.

    Would washington state be a good state to stack for people desiring equity in the courts and a less corrupt system? Drawing the percecuted, the oppressed and lied to from around the world (heavy handed by money and ability, although not absolute).

    There’s so much to do, that cannot be discussed publicly and no healthy outlet to do those things.

  • http://goodstrongmen.blogspot.com Strong Man

    You nailed it on the head with your suggestion to avoid sex in the first place. That’s really only safe alternative a man has–just don’t have sex until you get a marriage commitment.

    And, believe it or not, abstinence before marriage is possible. It has been possible and the strong social norm for centuries and billions of people. Nothing fundamentally biological about human urges or the human ability to control them has changed in the past 50 years.

    • Giselle

      But I thought the whole MRM was aginst marriage. im so confused.

      • Darryl X

        Don’t know if I associate with the label MRA but I am a man and I condemn almost all women and the men who enable them for their egregious misconduct and criminal behavior. The institution of marriage is still a good institution but it has been corrupted by feminists. If there is a good woman out there who wants to marry me, I will marry her. But I won’t marry a woman just to be married. The risks are too great. So, in answer to your question, I don’t think the MRM is against marriage, but just against marriage under the control of feminism instead of God. Marriage is a very important institution to civilization. Both women and men are supposed to contribute to marriage and civilization. Unfortunately, almost all women are feminists and contribute nothing to marriage and civilization. So, at the age of forty-four, I am unlikely to marry again since there are no women to marry. I have passed up several opportunities since divorce because the women I courted are lunatics. A man might just as well be putting a gun to his head. Marriage isn’t the problem, it’s the women in the marriage.

  • AnontheAnonymous

    Honestly, and I in NO WAY condone this, but the best way to avoid a false rape allegation is to actually be a real rapist in a ski mask. Most people who are targeted are people who the women had something against, which means she knew them. Real rapists aren’t likely to rape someone they know, it would be like stealing your next door neighbors car. Serial killers get away so often because they have no connection to the victim. Real rapists get away for the same reason. But I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT CONDONE THIS! I ONLY mention it for the IRONY. Rape is a crime where the majority of the accused are innocent and the majority of the guilty are never accused.