I have to admit that some frank talk about people no longer with us may not be my finest hour, but also feel that it is as much my right to do so as voicing my pure disdain for some of the living. I have a chip on my shoulder, an axe to grind; some serious business with someone that ain’t here no more. And for most of the people that say they don’t speak ill of the dead, my response to that statement is one word: Liar.
We would have nothing to talk about if we didn’t talk about those that came before us. “Yeah, she was a real bitch on wheels,” or “He was a real nasty bastard.” But mostly it comes in the form of “I hated my mother/father/sister/brother/aunt/uncle…because he/she lied, neglected, robbed, raped, abused or whatevered me.”
When I see these cunts playing for public sympathy, and destroying the lives of men who didn’t rape anyone, I can easily imagine cutting their fucking tongues out.
This has merit, but to that I say: once you have survived your horrendous past, you have a choice in how you use the experience to build on your future.
I was raped at nine years old. Yup, Izzey was raped; real, live rape that I kept to myself for quite a few years. I told no one, because my father would have gone to jail for it. No, my father did not rape me. His best friend did. Had my father found out he would have went to prison for the rest of his life for murder. I have no doubt whatsoever that he would have killed this man, quickly, brutally.
So I told no one, because I loved my father and did not want to lose him. It’s as simple as that, and, quite frankly, a tad too simple for some people to digest. I actually don’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion of that. In fact, I only feel the need to say so because I live in a world where dialogue about the most challenging of problems is often controlled by people with the most challenged of minds.
It was a horrible experience. It was the movie scene stereotype; the rape advocates version of all rapes, not the kind concocted by drunken sorority rats and angry girlfriends. Still, I lived to tell the tale, eventually. I even went into therapy for it, eventually. That might make a lot of people wonder why I am here advocating for men’s rights and even against things like false accusations and rape hysteria. How could I? How dare I?
I can only explain it by telling you that every single time I hear about women that cry rape after going into a hotel room with a stranger, putting a cap on three hours of drinking on his tab and dry humping in the corner of the bar, it pisses me off. When I hear about a woman that used a rape allegation to get back at a man for doing whatever her imagined slight of the moment, or out of regret or embarrassment for something she fucking chose to do, it pisses me off. When I hear about a man being accused of rape because it is good strategy in a contested divorce, it really gets me going.
Unlike these lying, histrionic skeezers, I actually know what it is like to be violated. I know what real fear is, and really deep shame, not the kind you make up in your mind after too many episodes of Oprah and too many messages that you are not accountable for your actions.
When I see these cunts playing for public sympathy, and destroying the lives of men who didn’t rape anyone, I can easily imagine cutting their fucking tongues out.
Rape is a serious crime. It is a personal violation of your body that in its real form is an act of unquestionable violence. It isn’t supposed to be something women dabble in for attention or utilize for revenge.
The infamous SlutWalks, at their naissance, were the most ridiculous display of that kind of attention whoring I have ever seen. These women needed yet another reason (no matter how absurd) to wield their sexual power while maintaining their right to sexual irresponsibility. They accomplished nothing more than cry-baby ostracism of a police officer for giving them what I believe to this day was sound advice for their safety.
As to my experience with rape, I am going to tell you that I am okay. But my unfinished business with the dead, is that I never had the chance to say “Fuck you, I won. I saved my father, and I saved myself.”
I heard he died from a very painful bone cancer a few years later. That was enough for me. But now that I am older and wiser with a clearer mind that can think for itself, I realize a few things. Statistically, and by that I mean in reality, men are raped more often than women. These are rapes that most women will tell you were deserved because many of them are men in prison, and that is only what they will say once you get them to acknowledge that those rapes even exist. They are also rapes that most women will tell you were not rapes because it was a 30 something woman, perhaps a teacher, seducing a 13 year old boy. They will even tell you he was “lucky,” and so will far too many men.
They won’t be bothered to examine the fact that many of these rapes take place against men that are wrongfully accused, and don’t even belong in prison (DNA evidence is now slowly helping to free some them). And they won’t be bothered to condemn the utter breech of trust and self serving manipulation that occurs when an adult seduces a child. No big deal, right? He loved it! Sure.
All of this, every last self deluding bit serves one, pernicious rule in the politics of rape. Women are the victims, even when rape is imagined. And men are the perpetrators, even when they are raped for real.
No one deserves to be raped, no one, especially a child of nine years old. But women that use this term to describe something in which most of them willingly took part, drunk or otherwise, should maybe have it really happen to them. At least they would be finally telling the truth from actual experience.
10 Posts in Total
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Jean Valjean:
Charbroil:
Peegies:
Doug1:
Kimski:
Welcome back Izzey. Hope all is fine.
Thanks Alek,
All is as well as can be expected. (and for those of you curious..he is not just talking about me because I sent a note out to a few people I had email addresses for, concerning something family related) I had to deal with an emergency situation and thought I would be absent from the site much longer than this.
Getting through it.
Had a I been informed a man raped my daughter I would have killed him, without hesitation, too.
The real crime here is that the term “Rape” is being co-opted to the point of completely deluding the actual crime. We’re so mired in rape hysterics that when a real rape actually occurs, we’re almost numb to it. I mean if 1 in 4 women on college campuses are being raped (epidemic proportions!), and no one seems to do anything about it; why bother?
Once EVERYTHING becomes rape, you’ve diminished the act’s relevance, (much like “racism” is EVERYWHERE to the minority grievance industry). If there is a particular social power behind a word, that can be exploited to death for financial gain, there will be those that do so.
How else would we have ever arrived at a time in our history where we’re forced to delineate between “real rape” (forced penetration clearly against ones will) and “rape” (drunken sorority sister, who had sex when she didn’t feel like it)?
In today’s parlance, if you have sex with a man without clearly consenting and feel regret and shame afterwards, you were raped.
If you were jogging in a park, got grabbed from behind and pulled into some bushes and a man had sex with you and you didn’t fight back, you were raped.
If a man looks at you the wrong way, he’s “raping you with his eyes”.
If a woman’s privacy is violated in any way she feels as though she’s “been raped”.
Thanks to feminism rape has been trivialized down to a generic expression for any kind of personal invasion she feels took place without her consent.
Yes, I believe the term in psychopathology was “hysteria”. Still is, as far as I’m concerned.
Keyster,
Excellent post.
I take issue with the nonchalant use of this word. It is the cause of my angst most times. I have been reading here and everywhere else for many years. When I see what has become of our ‘rape culture/hysteria’ I just want to punch my screen.
We abuse everything. We play it to the eyeballs until it no longer has worth…or meaning. So the ones that suffer, end up being grouped with the liars and bullshit artists that have a fucking agenda.
I did not feel like an agenda.
I felt raped.
It was real.
I want to spit on people that lie about it, and use it for personal gain.
I did learn something from it.
I learned who I never wanted to be when I grew up. And I also learned that human beings can survive almost anything…except death.
I grew up pretty fast after that, because I was alive to do so.
Izzey
And … Izzey … you DID grow up!!!
You grew up to pull your own weight. You put your shoulder to Life and you pushed. You competed on equal terms and you succeeded, and you’re still doing so. You EARNED your way.
Age has nothing to do with this kind of “growing up.” I have no doubt you were more grown-up at ten than any one of the Slut-Walkers, any one of the Wall Street “perverts on parade” (as Mark Levin calls ‘em), will ever get to be in all their long whiny blaming entitled upholstered yammery gimme-gimme-gimmeeee lives.
Regarding the man assaulted you: Sometimes I wish I could believe in God, just so that there would be a Hell to punish a vicious and cruel person.
Regarding you: Sometimes I meet a person who has such integrity, compassion, and courage that for an instant I really DO believe in God.
You are one in a million, and I am honoured to have known you, Izzey.
Ditto here, Izzey.
Thank you Antz,
I am honoured to be here amongst all of you.
I also know that everything that has happened in my life has led me here….to this place…at this time.
Meant to be, my friend.
If you’re angry about women doing this Izzey, maybe it would make you feel better if you knew that I would love to sit down and sing this song to many of these women:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWD5gdpt4Dw
Great article, Izzey!
I have absolutely no problem with talking bad about any deceased of this caliber, Izzey. I would even go so far as to find it perfectly reasonable that ‘Child Molester’ was carved into their tombstone. I have very little pity left for someone who would rob a child of their childhood in this, or any other way. I offer you my sincere condolences for you being robbed of yours.
Like keyster mentioned, anyone that did this to my child could count their life in minutes or seconds. The retaliation would be swift and without mercy.
On the other hand, I find it despicable that false-rape accusations are not punished equally to the actual crime.
Kimski-
“On the other hand, I find it despicable that false-rape accusations are not punished equally to the actual crime.”
We will never see that in our lifetime.
Just like we will never see VAWA (refucking worded or otherwise) actually give men real recognition of being domestic abuse victims, as well as affording them the accomodations and services offered to women.
Don’t hold your breath.
I won’t, Izzey.
I try to get even.
-And this is the right place to do it.
Izzey, it sounds like you knew and understood you father very well. I am hopeful that he was fully aware of your love for him.
I did, Tim.
He knew something was different about me for a very long time. He thought it may have been from the reality of the divorce from my mother, my relocation to California to live with him, and my resentment towards my stepmother.
I had a lot of good ‘cover’ going on.
Still, he was not a naive man. I did not give him a reason to believe otherwise, and he accepted that. I did not grow up without some doubts. And my mother knew something was different about me as soon as I landed back in New York. Still, I did not tell her until I was sixteen years old.
She agreed about my father (not admitting it to him) and then brought me to counseling.
I’m good.
Tim, I am posting in-between something important that keeps taking me away from here, but I wanted to add that my father knew I loved him very much, and in spite of this happening only a few months after I arrived in California, we still had some very good father-daughter times together. He taught me many things, and I believe my creative mind/hands come from his artistic gifts he lovingly shared.
Also, since you have asked a few times about my book, and I now hold possession of a copyrighted title, I will tell you what it is.
Lemonade~
Life as a Famous Saying
I’m glad to hear you were close to your Dad. Congratulations on your book! I’ll be looking for it in Canada.
Izzey – you are 1 in a 1,000,000. I appreciate you opening your soul up like this. Thanks. And even more, I appreciate you not blaming all men for this tragic event that happened to you.
A few years ago, being a blue pill guy, I had a long conversation with a housemate and good friend of mine about how we were lucky to view rape with revulsion. That culminated with us phoning our respective parents to thank them for the way we were brought up, because “so many guys were into rape”.
Since then, all I have ever met, amongst men, are ardent anti-rape fanatics. As are I, and almost every other man I come across.
So, Izzey, it pisses me off first of all for what happened to you ( may his soul rot in hell ), and it also pisses me off that someone stepped on my ( and 3 biilion others ) good name.
Fidel, I am glad you are pissed off.
I plan on staying that way. It drives me. (In a healthy focused sort of pissed off way)
He didn’t step on your good name, or anyone else’s. He took a big shit on himself.
Feminists and princesses did most of ‘the stepping’….using a very serious crime not perpetrated on themselves as THE pussy pass of entitlement….and punishment.
Women murder their children and walk.
A man disciplined a child, had his life stolen from him, couldn’t fight the system anymore, gave up, and then set himself ON FIRE.
Nobody blinked.
‘cept all of us.
Stay pissed off, Fidel.
Your future is at stake.
Izzey
Izzey, you’re an insightful, passionate and all around kick-ass writer. I don’t think you need to worry about speaking ill of someone who did that to you, because the manner in which you do so is just, whether he be dead or alive. And so what if he is not here to defend himself? You know just when he gave that right up.
He is not….and I do.
Thanks, Jade Michael.
Very cool compliment, btw
Smiling here.
Wow, Izzey, that was hard to read.
Not much more to say, really.
Peace…
Powerful, Izzey.
Just one comment. Let’s not forget the community rapes of adult men by women.
My husband was subject to attempted rape by two separate groups of women. According to him it was horrifying and humiliating. This kind of shit is not a joke.
No it ain’t Typhon, no it ain’t.
No joke, typhonblue.
The reality of women raping men is beyond the ‘scope’ of most females. And an amazing amount of denial comes from the male populace as well.
No joke.
It’s a great message – personal sacrifice for love of others, and the ability to overcome. Thanks for sharing.
In ‘Sexual Utopia in Power,’ F. Roger Devlin discusses the grandmother effect, the ways in which mature and wise women passed along their life lessons, influencing young women to make good choices and decisions.
‘But today grandma has been replaced by Cosmopolitan, we are living with the results.’ says Devlin.
Outstanding Izzey. And to think when I started out as an MRA and MGHOW I honestly did not think I would ever be crediting a woman as a big help to us. Not because I did not want to, but because I didn’t think women would ever be this supportive. Glad I was wrong.
I want to say how sorry I am for what happened to you. Then again I get the feeling you are pretty at peace with it.
And I relate **sigh*
Atlas, your reply humbles me. I am glad you were “wrong” also, and I’m here for the long haul.
But saddened as much, by this-
“And I relate **sigh*”
For that, I am sorry.
Thanks. I’m alive.
People often use the passage of time and death to excuse the actions & inactions of others and or to perpetuate and escalate their own fuckery. While Shakespeare was on the money when he said that the evil that men do; lives on. the good, often interred with their bones, we can’t forget what maturity is. One of its demands is that we realize that our choices could affect the lives of others. It can be either positively or negatively. This leads to the maxim that sooner or late, we all must sit down to a banquet of consequences. Another thing to remember too is that the truth immortal and it will surface eventually. Maltreating others leads to contempt and backlash from the victims and from others. Those who heavily profess to be religious should be aware of those truths since all must give an account for their acts, since cosmic & eternal consequences are at play and whatever deity that they follow isn’t going to accept “Get over it” or any of the other teachings of the Bullshit Playbook that assholes live their lives by. It’s even more interesting that most who do meet their comeuppance are often the ones who know better but choose the same and worse. It’s wise to strive to live as right as possible while you’re traveling the road rather than looking to do so at the end of it. Most deathbed confessions are acts of cowardice, deceit, and further disrespect if you think about it. It’s usually an attempt to try and save face when the inevitable End arrives rather than to truly fix things with those who were fucked over. The really bullshit people either try use their deaths as a last attempt at reverse psychology or won’t say anything as a last “Fuck you” to those they’ve bent over. It’s good to see that you’ve made progress from what happened to you Izzey.
“Rape is a serious crime. It is a personal violation of your body that in its real form is an act of unquestionable violence. It isn’t supposed to be something women dabble in for attention or utilize for revenge.”
…or mangina politicians use, vying for a rise in the voter polls for that matter.
Here’s a good article I found online today that refutes the big lies of Pinocchio nosed Joe Biden. Mr. VAWA Biden is a massive liar, a misandrist, and a huge promoter of rape hysteria, but then who didn’t know that?
http://tinyurl.com/3bo3w24
Biden’s absurd claims about rising rape and murder rates
“Even if one believes there is a link between crime and the number of police—which is debatable and subject to many caveats—there is no excuse to make the dramatic claim that more people will die or be raped without additional funds for police. When making such a breathtaking charge, you had better have your facts straight.”
What can one add to this article, apart from applause?
Biden claims more women will be raped if jobs bill does not pass!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxxotkX9ZOo&feature=player_embedded
Yes, rape is now being used for political expediency too.
I feel raped by the over-use of the word as a metaphor.
Wow,
did you see his face change when he was cornered?
Went right on the defense. Almost embarrassed.
Rape is ‘his baby’….supporting everything VAWA stands for besides the poster girl black eye. Do you have the stats on the yearly funding for this?
Domestic violence is BIG business. I’m real sure that was found out very early on. Women cry abuse, and the government sees dollar signs. Men cry abuse (the few that come forward because society has shamed them not to) and look for resources to help him and his children, and doors are closed in their faces. Or they are sent to shelters.
So Biden says more women will be raped if the jobs bill doesn’t pass. Men need jobs so they won’t fuck a woman against her will?
I did not realize unemployed men suddenly turn into rapists. Wow Biden, my neighbor just lost his job….I’ll sleep with protection tonight. Thanks.
Ain’t no money in that
Allow me to explain how it works Izzey lol
Man becomes unemployed. Man’s wife doesn’t want him anymore because of that. Wife kicks man out and claims DV and rape to get the biggest advantage in custody and property settlement. Thanks to VAWA, all allegations are deemed true, and enter the statistics, thus boosting rape and DV numbers.
And who is behind all this. Joe Biden of course.
Now for my theory. Rape increases when men lose their jobs, because those men then get raped by the family courts.
He’s referring to cities having to lay-off police officers that would have otherwise prevented rapes from occuring, even though there is ZERO correlation to numbers of officers and frequency of rape.
Actually since municipalities began laying off policeman 3 years ago the number of rapes have DECREASED nationally by about 11% year over year.
The “Jobs Bill” is a stop-gap meant to keep strapped states and cities from laying off government workers. What happens when that runs it’s course (as it has with the first stimulus) is anyone’s guess.
Biden is an extreme nutjob. He fails to read reports regarding crime from the government’s own data. Crime overall has dropped, including rape, since the recession hit. If his logic were correct then it should have risen given the fact that most jobs lost hit men hardest. Here is an article from Time covering it but I looked on the FBIs website and the data there corroborates this.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1963761,00.html
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44578241/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/t/crime-decline-why-low-inflation-among-theories/#.TqQaiGDVM6U
Hi Izzey:
Words fail me.
I am glad you are dealing with what surely must have been a horrifying time in your life.
As we used to say “keep on truckin”
Hope you realize that is said with a sense of endearment. As stated Izz. You da best!!!!
I’m truckin’ scatmaster.
Thanks.
“Women are the victims, even when rape is imagined. And men are the perpetrators even when they are raped for real.”
Profound, Izzey.
So, even the men who are victims of real rape are still seen as the perpetratrators of this particular crime due to their being part of the demographic regarded as collectively responsible as a class.
When I tell people that men are the majority of rape victims, they usually snap, “Yeah, but they are raped by other men.” Male victims of rape are invisible because of the omnipresent notion of male collective guilt. That is, if one is raped while being male, he got what he deserved because some men are rapists. What a steaming pile of bs.
You are one in a million Izzey… Effing phenominal.
TMOTS
I think a Lemmy quote is appropriate:
“Fuck this ‘Don’t speak ill of the dead’ shit! People don’t become better when they are dead; you just talk about them as if they are. But it’s not true! People are still assholes; they are just dead assholes!”
God bless you, Izzey. And your father.
Thank you for being on our side.
Bless you indeed Izzey, thank you for sharing. Powerful and moving. We support you.
Thank you for sharing your story. We are lucky to have someone like you supporting our movement, and I hope that you have found or find peace with your experience.
Dear Izzey,
Thank you for sharing this painful chapter in your life. It is very clear from your writing that you have tremendous depth and honesty. Despite Stu’s ribbing, I really was moved by your poetry. I never give false compliments because they are meaningless and can actually be quite damaging. I respect those with genuine artistic talent because I don’t have any.
You write from the perspective of a person who has had nothing handed to them – you have fought and endured so much to be who you are today. I think it is your creative talent that compels you forward to be a constructive and worthwhile human being.
As you can see, you are held in high esteem here, as well as considerable affection. You’ve earned it. Best wishes to you and your family,
Andybob
I suppose i should speak up here. I think this is a really sad story, but I do have problem with it. See, I am a true misogynist; the kind that feminists and other people like to imagine lives in every man.
It does not matter to me that Izzey is a thousand times more productive for the MRM than me, her very presence, well it just bothers me. And it bothers me more that she can articulate the issues so much better than me.
I know, I am pathetic, petty, senseless and EVERYTHING that offers nothing to the men’s movement. In fact, I am not even an activist. I am more like a troll with nothing productive to do so I come in to forums where activism is actually happening and try my best to stir shit with the very people I claim to care about.
Please add fucktard to the list of things I am, as I will never aspire to become a better version of what I am.
I once had hopes of turning the MRM into something hateful, but I am disappointed to see that thoughtful, intelligent men, and yes, I suppose women, have co-opted it and turned it into a movement for justice and freedom.
I guess I am fucked, or whatever is equivalent to my own head being shoved so far up my ass.
Dearest, oddsock..
Thank you so much for stopping by. You have given me the golden opportunity to defend the erroneous belief that I am being ‘white knighted’ by fellow MRA’s. I had hoped you and others saw the point of me posting this piece at this time. I have many true stories to tell about my life, and have no problem sharing them, and absolutely-positively will never share them to gain sympathy.
I do not ever consider myself to be “some damsel in distress”
What strikes me most about your post is that you are misinterpreting the ‘human factor’ when a person posts intimate, and sometimes heart wrenching experiences with each other. I have seen many posts from the men here that draw the same responses from other men. We are not robots. We are also not made from mortar and stone. There happens to be a camarderie amongst people that share and fight for the same causes and rights. I am one of those people. I belong here, and have done my share to earn a spot on this board as well as in this fight.
I have gotten to know many of the men here through their own postings and even some personal correspondence. I donate to many of the other websites; even those I do not feel welcomed on, simply because they are fighting the same fight. (I wish I could donate more) I have said more than once, that I know not all men will embrace my presence on a men’s website, but most that do not, will either ignore me or challenge me… and I have had my share of both.
The issue of me being a woman that advocates for men is so controversial at times, that it makes me wonder if those that oppose me so much, really care if any progress is ever made at all. Maybe they don’t really want things to change, as much as they want someone/something to give them a reason to just keep on raging and do nothing else. To those people I sadly say….keep on doing what is important to you, and I will do the same. We need not intentionally cross paths. There’s room enough for all of us to walk around this earth without falling over each other. I try to respect boundries that others have made very clear that they have.
Having a woman on ‘right side of the fence’ that shares many of the bad experiences and wrongs that have been dumped on men, can be a positive thing. More women should wake up and join the choir…they are fucking with their own sons futures by doing nothing. I believe men and women got us to where we are today, and have equal disdain for those that initiated it, as well as those that stood by and allowed it to happen.
It may seem like “white knighting’ to you, oddsock. But I take these replies to be as genuine to me, as they would be to another man posting the same story.
I don’t think anyone here thinks I’m looking for a boyfriend, (and not one has treated me as such a woman) nor do they think I need ‘saving.’
I’m hoping we are all here to save ourselves from the atrocious inequalities that have befallen our culture. I am here for that. Try and take me away from it…you will have to drag me kicking and screaming. And you’d better be much stronger than me.
I may not fit the mold. But I will do my best to help break the mold. And yes, you are right…”We do not have anything like the support structures you have, as a woman.”
I would personally like to have a hand in changing that.
Sincerely,
biotch
My, my Izzey. When you are this even-minded, articulate and objective..I swear ya sound like ol’ Fidelbogen. Who is a personal fav of mine on YT.
In other words that damn sure is a compliment.
It is difficult to filter who is a mangina until a sell-out moment arrives. Until then, I will give people the benefit of the doubt. Positive and supportive comments to a woman who has been raped and protected her father is not a sell-out situation, especially when in comparison the very same support is given to men here when they offer their live experiences.
Glad to see you have gained some insight, Oddsock. Remember, acknowledging the real problem is half the battle.
Hey Oddsock. Great post.
I once had hopes of turning the MRM into something hateful, but I am disappointed to see that thoughtful, intelligent men, and yes, I suppose women, have co-opted it and turned it into a movement for justice and freedom.
Take heart. There are people who laugh at rape victims and mock their pain. They’re called feminists.
http://human-stupidity.com/stupid-dogma/human-rights/feminist-rape-laws-dont-apply-to-male-prison-rape-victims
I believe man boobs had a post where he mocked (male) rape victims, though it was several months ago and I don’t really want to go digging through his idiocy to find it (and he’s been known to delete stuff after posting it anyway, so it might be gone). In any event, I dig Izzey too, and not just because she’s cute and writes good poems (though that’s probably part of it).
Manboobs is not by far the only bigoted idiot spewing bile on the topic. Check this one out.
http://www.feminisms.org/386/can-a-man-be-raped-by-a-woman/
According to this shrew, Izzey’s experience was rape only because she is female. In contrast Anthony Keidis of the Red Hot Chilipeppers could not have been raped by his step-mother when he was 12 because he has a penis.
Got it? If someone else “feels” you are privileged you deserve whatever inhuman punishment a mob hands out.
She goes on to insist that, “And why there’s no such thing as being ‘racist’ towards white people”.
And, she is serious. So, that white van driver that was hauled out of his vehicle and beaten severely (for being white) after the release of the Rodney King video, was not a victim of racially motivated crime. I wonder if she feels the 4 black men that came to his aid and pulled him to safety are not only not deserving of accolades but, perhaps they interfered with her idea of “justice”.
I am mortally offended that I must share the planet with people such as her.
She makes Jenna Myers Karvunidis look like a bloody Cub Scout by comparison. This is not stupid spreading of hatred but, willful, calculated dismissal of men as human.
Oddsock, I have to admit I had a hard time reading your post, but not for the reason some may think. I’ll say this, I haven’t been here long but Izzey is here fighting for men’s rights more than all of the men I personally know so, in my book, she is more than welcome and deserves to be here. My hat is off to you Izzey.
My problem with your post is that it’s hard to hate you. I don’t really think you are a true misogynist and, reading between the lines, I don’t believe that you never aspire to become a better version of what you are. From what I read, you have an ability and willingness to be honest about yourself and your faults that most people just don’t have. And somewhere, somehow, in your post I see a man that doesn’t like what he is and is already on his way to becoming better, whether he wants to admit it to himself or not. I may be reading too much into this but you just don’t convince me that you are as hopelessly fucked up as you pretend to be.
I guess I’m just asking you to consider this, use that honesty and insight to become a better person, for your own sake. Then consider bringing it here to help the MRM become better and stronger as well. I may be the real odd man out here but a man willing to honestly face the ugly parts of himself is a step ahead of most people on the planet. I see more in you than the picture you paint of yourself.
Thanks for that. Your article should be required reading for every freshman college student, male and female.
Thank you for this honest post Izzey.
Many have criticized the common title of rape survivor opposed to victim. The former asserting the woman had no control in the outcome and the later that the woman did (a.k.a. victim blame). Something in your article pointed me in the direction of age distinction on the matter, i.e. child as survivor, adult as victim. Your, and everyone’s, feedback may assist in concluding my reevaluation of the topic.
Much obliged for your contribution to our team.
Thanks for the fine post, Izzey. Through her whole life, at least what I knew of it, my mother was a sexually obsessed pervert. Erin Pizzey has stated that one of the ways women rape boys is with enemas. That’s the method that my mother used to repeatedly rape my brother and me, when we were about 8, 9, 10 years old. There was an extreme sexual aspect to it, with her having us turn around so she could see and squeeze our asses as she told us what cute bottoms we had. She never gave either of my sisters enemas.
Not only would I bet that there are far more women who rape than most people realize or are even capable of realizing, I’d be willing to bet that there are 100 or 1000 or more times as many women, who excuse or support false rape accusations, as men, who excuse or support rape.
BTW, I have no problem with speaking ill of the dead. It’s up to the listener to take into consideration that the dead person is not present to defend him- or herself. Taking an extreme and therefore clear example, who has a problem with speaking ill of Hitler? I certainly don’t.
On a roll here… I posted this link on another thread, but it’s a pretty compelling read on the subject of false accusations:
http://gonzalolira.blogspot.com/2011/09/what-i-learned-at-dartmouth.html
> “Had a I been informed a man raped my daughter I would have killed him, without hesitation, too.”
If a female teacher has sex with an underage boy, should we unhesitatingly kill her, too?
If not, why not?
Why is undocumented access” to a vagina worth a man’s life?
Most raped women (traditional definition) experience violence. So do men who are mugged. Why don’t we kill all muggers then?
Is the fear a man feels less than a woman’s?
Is his being beaten less damaging than her being beaten?
Some think blacks feel less pain than whites and so experience no guilt when cracking black skulls with axe handles. Are they right?
Again, why this pedestaling of women?
Men used to duel to the death over “insults.” Were they correct to do so?
What is the REAL damage suffered by raped women?
Can a boy beaten by his parents kill them, too?
Even in the GODFATHER, the don didn’t condone killing boys who violated his supplicant’s daughter. He reminded the father that his daughter was still alive.
What female abuse of men do women (or even men) demand the death penalty for? Can we kill college girls who grab penises without permission?
Seems this death-for-rape equation reaffirms the idea that men’s lives are worth-less than women’s…and are worthless.
There are many ways to abuse. Rape is not the worst. Some parents rob their kids of fulfilling lives via emotional traumas. Should we kill them, too?
I’m not saying rape is fun. Just that most women, given the choice of being raped or thrown out a helicopter, would choose the former. Why? Are some pains less than others? Why do laws recognize DEGREES of assault?
Different people are harmed differently. Some guys recover from combat experiences better than others. I suspect much of that has to do with how they were raised, what support they got post-traumas, what messages they internalized about themselves, etc.
Most males get the message, early and often, that being a “man” means not openly expressing pain-sadness-needs. Plus valuing females above themselves. I think making the rape of women the “worst” crime is an example of male socialization.
It might also stem from out-dated views about sex…and limiting access to vaginas to proper procedures (courting, dowries, marriage, etc.) Is the murder-all-rapists a response generated by the anger of knowing someone dared “get some” without jumping through the proper hoops?
Again, again: I’m not saying rape is a good thing. Just examining what, exactly, makes it THE worst crime. Is it because a female is involved? Or because female FEELINGS are hurt? Or because women are frail, therefore more worthy of avenging than tortured males?
Where is the “deconstruction” of what makes rapes of females so bad? Can we kill kids who bully other kids…knowing now how damaging such abusiveness is?
Hi Auntie Pheminizm,
Even though you did not quote me, I am going to address this post.
Most of your post refers to women being raped. The story is about a nine year old girl. This happened over four decades ago.
I also noticed that because you did not address me personally, you left out a few important points of the story.
It was my father’s best friend. There lies a betrayal in itself. It was not a boy raping a girl, it was a forty two year old man raping a nine year old girl. Woman, was not yet a factor.
And had I been my father’s nine year old son….there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that he would have killed the man just the same.
“Again, again; I’m not saying rape is a good thing. Just examining what, exactly, makes it THE worst crime. Is it because a female is involved? Or because female FEELINGS are hurt? Or because women are frail, therefore more worthy of avenging than tortured males?”
I assure you, as a nine year old girl…more than my fucking feelings were hurt.
I can also assure you, the whole ordeal would have been about a father avenging a serious act committed against his CHILD.
If anyone else would like to address the rest of this post, I welcome the input.
I am at work.
Thank you for your reply.
Izzey