thank you

A note of thanks

As we enter the new week, all I can say is “whew!” It has been quite a ride of late. Things have been so busy that I have not had time to attend to the writing I normally like to do.

I am overdue to do a piece, but as I look at all the many options in front of me for a project, my head and heart keep coming back to one thing.


Men generally die slow deaths (or more expeditious ones) from work. Even taking a red pill does not change that in most of us. Men feel useless when doing little, even when they are unable to do a lot through no fault of their own. Without offering citation it just seems to be in our nature.

Since I cannot escape that any more than most other men, I have to count my blessings that I have been afforded the opportunity to become a slave to something I love; something for which I have unending passion. Few people are that unfathomably lucky, and I know it. I have the MHRM and the people that support this website to thank for it.

I have you to thank for it.

So while there is certainly a smorgasbord of possible topics for me to address today, particularly considering the current media buzz, I just wanted to thank a few people. I know fully that I will neglect to mention some. When I say there are too many people to thank, it is not a cliché. Please accept my apologies in advance for any oversights.

In offering these thanks I want it to be clear that it is not just for helping me, but much more importantly for having the passion to help this organization take on one of the most thankless, uphill battles imaginable in order to put a previously little-known option on the table for men and women alike.

I want to thank Dean Esmay, who constantly juggles full time work elsewhere with full time work here; who has worked through sickness and personal hardships to stay on top of AVFMs many needs. And I want to thank John Hembling for carrying a huge load of rock on his back to help build this place at great personal expense, and for sometimes doing so while working three jobs and going to school. It was a school he had to attend, by the way, because one of the many things he sacrificed for this cause was a career.

I want to thank Suzanne McCarley, who has done more work than anyone knows about, trudging through the tedious, really thankless and crappy assignments; things that have to be done and no one really wants to do. I want to thank her for hanging in there with us, even as devastating personal tragedy struck her life.

Add Dan Perrins to the list, a one man army that never quits, that never seems to take a break. I watched in amazement yesterday as he and Suzanne tracked the thousands of comments to two high profile articles on this website, reading all of them, commenting on more than I can count and casting votes. They made sure that all the lies were challenged and that dissent was registered like two machines.

I want to thank Al Martin, who expertly manages our forum, and who contacted me recently, after his house burned down, not to look for sympathy, but to say that he had to attend to it but wanted me to know he did not want to lose his job running the forums.

Fat chance, Al. You are stuck with us.

I want to thank Alek, who works endlessly for all of us, and who cares so little about recognition that he will be probably be pissed that I mentioned him here.

I want to thank David King, for willingly stepping up to turn our server and security needs into a near bottomless pit of demands on his personal life.

I want to thank the editors of AVFM, who keep the skype window humming around the clock with their work. August Lovenskiolds, Peter Wright, Alison Tieman, Robert St. Estephe, Della Burton, David King and James Huff.

I am sure you will notice the double-duty and sometimes triple-duty names in that group.

I want to thank the AVFM News Department. Robert O’hara, Lucien Valsan (who has been unimaginably productive) Anil Kumar, Dan Perrins, Greg Canning, Della Burton and Attila Vinczer.

I want to thank Europa Phoenix, Dr. F, Rodger O’Thornhill and Typhonblue(Alison Tieman) for the stunning artwork that has graced this site in article headers, radio show announcements and contributor portraits.

I want to thank people like TyphonBlue(Alison Tieman), for fundamentally changing the way we envision men and women; Girl Writes What for leading the way on the devastating smack downs of gender ideology.

And a very sincere thank you to Angry Harry, for pioneering online activism, and for literally transforming us from a media culture that could not discuss the issues of men and boys, and could not dissent from feminist dogma — to a media culture that can and now does. Thank you, Harry, for making all of this possible in the first place.

Did I say that there were too many people to thank? Yes, and I was not kidding. There are. Numbers of them can be found in the comments on this website, and in the bylines. They can be found moderating the forums and doing the radio shows. They can also be found scattered across the internet, challenging feminism one lie at time, and defending men and boys, one heartbreaking story after another.

If this sounds like some sort of award acceptance speech, it isn’t. This movement has grown to such a level that what I have personally done is obscured by the sheer mass of it. I could walk away now and it would easily continue; not because of what I have accomplished, but because the need for action against misandry has reached the level that good people are starting to wake up and put their foot down.

No, this is not Oscar time. It is more like “I Have a Dream,” time. I can’t compare to the likes of Martin Luther King, but as a matter of fact, I really do have a dream.

I say this to misandrists everywhere, whether you are a feminist, an ersatz and rigidly obtuse social conservative, a gushy, mindless liberal or just one of the great masses of ignorant people that watch men and boys go down the tubes without really seeing it.

My dream is simple, and it is the dream of a rapidly growing number of people who will not be denied. We dream of the day when a near eternity of hate, exploitation and indifference to the suffering and abuse of males will be rocked to its illicit foundation by an unstoppable backlash against your ideas, and, equally, your ignorance.

And we dream of the day that the parasitic use of male energy and accomplishment will be replaced with compassion and honor.

We have no way of knowing how far this dream will spread or how many men and women will embrace their own human dignity by joining us, but we do know it is a dream that is being realized for a rapidly growing number of people fortunate enough to have vision.

I hope, as we move ahead with these ideals and ambitions, that this small offering of writing will provide one place where people can look back and find some of the people they have to thank.

  • crydiego

    I came to AFvM about a year ago just when all the planets were beginning to line up in your favor. I could see that the movement had reached a critical mass and was now on the winning leg of a long fought battle.

    Although I did little in the previous years, my late arrival gave me a view from afar and I could clearly see that you were winning.

    People like me can be proud of being here but all the credit goes to the people that did the hard fighting when momentum was not on their side. The ones that paid a huge emotional price but held firm!

    All the people you mentioned and many more have my utmost respect and gratitude. Although I came late and only wave our flag in secret, I have never felt so proud to be involved with a group of people.

  • donzaloog

    I would like to extend my deepest thanks to all of the people behind AVFM as well. This site is an invaluable resource.

  • Ray

    …and thank you Mr. Elam.

  • MGTOW-man

    I will always be thankful for the voice that this site and others in the movement has provided me. I may be one of the more radical followers of this site and our movement, but I am here to tell the truth as it exists. I tell what I live: see, hear, learn, study and thus know, coupled with my desire to dissect it, ponder it, compare it, test/stress it, and to communicate not only the things I believe—the findings and correlations that arise— but also how we might make even more gains in our struggle for not only recognition but acceptance and repair of a system that has habitually left us behind but while also expecting a whole lot of sacrifices and pretending out of us men.

    No matter how they hate us but ironically paint us as the haters, we should never let them shake us from our foundation: always tell the truth. Period.

    The truth scares them…and rightly so. It isn’t pretty, but it is necessary. May we never stop until our mission is complete.

    Many thanks to all those who sacrifice and who will continue to fight for the rights of men and boys—which will help all people.

    As an end note, we wouldn’t be so against feminism it it weren’t so against us first. As we are looked upon as “haters” keep driving home that message…pointing out ways they hate us, thus driving and steering us to react the way we do. The truth is not hatred but ooohh, how it is hated.

  • Kimski

    Thank you for giving us a Voice, Paul.
    The rest is really just self defense and refusal to go quietly into the night, is it not?

  • Robert St. Estephe

    Heck, Paul, if you count up all the names you mentioned, the total comes out to be bigger than the mainstream media’s estimated total number of MRAs (and MRA sympathizers) in existence anywhere. I’m beginning to get suspicious about the accuracy of mainstream media’s assessment of the movement. ‘Course, what do I know about social trends? I’m just a historian.

  • Grassee

    Paul, I’m all the way in sunny Trinidad in the Caribbean (yep, your ideas have even reached here) and I wanted to thank you as well. Over a year ago I saw your video on “The Plague of Modern Masculinity”. It was my introduction to the manosphere and I am very glad I found it. Amazing work and congratulations to all of you on building this movement.

  • August Løvenskiolds

    The gratitude expressed by Paul stands in stark contrast to that of feminists, who don’t seem capable of giving thanks for anything, not even the October flood of pink breast cancer awareness in the National Football League.

    Thank you, Paul, for the chance for me to contribute my efforts towards improving the lives of men and women everywhere.

    • scatmaster

      I hate the whole NFL breast cancer “awareness” campaign but for totally different reasons.

      My money goes to prostate cancer.

      Paul, thanks for a forceful ingestion of the red pill all those years ago with MND.
      Yours and others stellar advocacy and hard work is moving us forward. Thanks again.

    • tallwheel

      Unbelievable! All these organizations going out of their way to promote the hell out of breast cancer awareness, and all this feminist writer on Salon can do is complain because she doesn’t see any cold hard cash flowing in? There’s no f*cking satisfying these people!

      • MGTOW-man

        It amazes me why so many women think THEIR cancer is worse than everybody elses. I too give to cancer programs that serve men equally. The other day a woman phoned to ask for money to help breast cancer. I politely told her that I preferred to help all people and not just women. She sounded astounded. I wonder what is going on in their minds that makes them be so removed from reality so much of the time.

        • Paul Johnson

          Well the astonishment of the woman with whom you spoke, I think, is the clue that supports my assumption, which is that it’s not about the cancer, but who has it. Women, most people seem to think, are far more important than men. They have intrinsic human value, men do not. So to even include men in your compassion is, well, astonishing to these people.

        • Vivica Liqueur

          It’s not just women who get breast cancer, its just women who get the awareness they need for breast cancer, men get it too:

  • externalangst

    AVFM is fast approaching 6 million hits since its inception. How many souls has this site saved from the mind boggling dumb, nasty and ubiquitous ideology of gender feminism. More than many realize. Thank you AVFM.

    • Peadair

      Is that 6 million figure repeats or discrete IDs?

  • Bolo

    Paul gave me a redpill last year, Bar Bar made me swallow it. I’ll never forget that video Paul made where he talks about a woman that gave him shit-test after shit-test while clamoring how she don’t need a man and then he told the waiter to bring separate checks. I spit my drink out laughing, will never forget that.

  • JJ

    Fella, I am in awe of all of you. I don’t do nearly as much as the others, dropped my blog, been going to school, and supposedly won my court case (got only joint legal decision making for what was truly an international abduction case). It is nice to know that no matter how tuff it has been, men and women here have been handling that and more.

    I don’t have money, I barely have time, but you have my thanks. What you all are up to is the most ambitious thing in the movement so far, and I am glad to contribute the very little I do; if any. I hope someday, after engineering degree, and all the rest, that you all have not left me behind. But in the same breadth, I don’t mind turning into a spectator while you all are testifying before Congress, or whatever.

    Keep FTSUing their shit up. I can’t wait.

  • napocapo69

    Thank you Paul, for the hard work, the vision and the leadership.
    As you said there are many to recognize for their contribution, but the special thank to Angry Harry, a real pioneer of the MHRM, is well deserved.

    In these days, the same days in which this gender ideology is showing its real nature, as a fanatic doctrine poisoned with bigotry and based on repression of free speech, I celebrate.

    I’m celebrating because every time the misandric propaganda emerges, suddenly
    a sane opposition pops up, in numbers, debunking lies and exposing bad intents.

    I celebrate because, finally, people increasingly refuse to be recognized as feminists.

    I celebrate because, finally, everyone can realize the power establishment nature of feminism.

    I celebrate because, finally, when I come across the usual feminist crap in a forum, a blog or a news magazine, I’m not anymore an icebreaker and, often, I feel the pleasure to realize that I’m among the last ones to comment.

    We are just paving the way, but it is a solid and large highway.

  • OneHundredPercentCotton

    A woman friendly men’s rights site.

    Would’a thunk?

    You think it’s a lonely row to hoe being an MRA? Try being a female MRA.

    Thanks for being here. Thanks for having me. -A

    • Peadair

      You would have. As you know, most men are woman friendly.

      There is this strange group, can’t remember their name, who think that most men aren’t woman friendly. I hear that they are soon to be made irrelevant by the forces of history.

      Glad you are here. Even better that you were an early adopter, but not a hipster like Paul. 😛

      • OneHundredPercentCotton

        Not so. Other sites were VERY hostile at least a few years back. This was truly the one and only, and Paul stood strong against a LOT of criticism for it.

        That doesn’t go unforgotten or unappreciated.

        • Robert St. Estephe

          My first conversation with Paul was the importance of teaching the pre-1960s history of men’s issues and early the MRM — and about the absolute necessity of women speaking out for men’s rights (which has a lot of historical precedent).

          Indoctrinated dogma-zombified men cannot hear the male MRA voice, but they CAN her the female MRA voice. And women who are afraid of peer pressure will gain confidence in condemning the fem-cult when they hear the articulate, brilliant, witty, and incisive voices of women who just won’t out up with the insane ideology any longer.

        • Peadair

          I count myself lucky then, if I had found the MRM anti-woman I would have just walked on.
          I guess I am here as the result of one of Pauls success stories then. I came to AVfM without having read any other MM sites. It’s just as well he took this route, Karen/GWW was my introduction to the site and to MHRM. If she hadn’t mentioned this site it might have been months before I arrived, I would have got here eventually You Tube seems to be buzzing with AVfM fans.

    • onca747

      As per my comment below, this was the other reason I stuck with AVFM.. female contributors. And not the “Hiiii guuuyyys, look at me im a gurl, lulz <3" kind either.

    • Dan Perrins

      But your not a woman Cotton.
      The commenters over at the beast said so.
      And we are lucky to have you, the fake sock-puppet woman that you are.

      • OneHundredPercentCotton

        I know, Dan. I’ve been REALLY A MAN for several years now where ever I post.

        Ironic thing is, I WOULD be flattered people think that, but I actually think of myself as being super feminine. I LIKE womanly things and I LIKE being a woman. I’ve NEVER wished I were a man or wanted to be a man in any way.

        I remember looking into my husband’s blanched face immediately after witnessing the birth of our first child and him blurting out “I”m glad I’m not a woman”!

        But I look at men’s and boy’s lives, the gauntlets, wringers and shit tests males are put through and think “I’m GLAD I’m not a man”.

        I wouldn’t last five minutes.

        • Bewildered

          Ironic thing is, I WOULD be flattered people think that, but I actually think of myself as being super feminine. I LIKE womanly things and I LIKE being a woman. I’ve NEVER wished I were a man or wanted to be a man in any way.

          That was once ,not so long ago, a definition of a SANE WOMAN.
          Nowadays a helluva lot of women take delight in being pathetic caricatures of MALE JERKS and that is defined as the new SANE.

    • Attila L. Vinczer

      You are right and appreciate you being here. I have over the years seen how vicious women are with women who do not support their feminist agenda and ideology. You become their worst enemy and an outcast. That is what women like Barbara Kay and Erin Pizzey tell me. I have tremendous respect for the women that have stood steadfast in opposition to feminism that is harming everyone and does not perfect or effect that what they, feminists, profess it does. As Erin said the other week, we have 40 years of undoing of the ill effect of feminism on society.

  • onca747

    Thank you Paul, for being the captain of this ship navigating treacherous and unknown waters.

    I came to AVFM early this year. But what made me stick around was this: When a guy made a comment on an article which sounded like he might be suicidal, I saw yourself, Dean and others pull out all stops track this guy down, phone his home to make sure he was ok. (Fortunately things weren’t as bad as they seemed.. but they could have been.)

    I have never seen this kind of thankless empathy directed at a man before in any online community.. and you’d be hard pressed to find it in RL. It made me wonder how many other men have been drowning in stormy waters and passed over by so many uncaring ideologues, only to be saved and brought aboard this small ship. She ain’t big and flash, but by God she’s sturdy, and although I’m nothing but Rower #41 it’s a badge I wear with pride.

    ps. I have, however, seen this kind of thankless empathy directed toward hateful feminists online by caring MRAs. This speaks volumes about the kind of people MRAs are, and why it physically hurts when we get written of as “woman haters”.

  • Robert O'Hara

    The real heroes this past week were the thousands of readers who called ABC out on their bullshit. It really was amazing! I cannot help but think that they were stymied when they got all those comments on the hit piece.

    • Robert St. Estephe

      Very well said. I was thinking the same, but forgot to write it. So I’m doubly glad you said this.

      All our efforts are of small value without the complementary efforts who support the cause making their own voices heard, over and over again, out in the wilds of the broader world.

    • Ray

      Given the misandry in our colleges of journalism, they’d probably never heard most of the info they got in their comments section.

    • Peadair

      There was bullshit from ABC and from those who cannot have their theories contested without considering those who contested as bad people. They didn’t seem to be able to put forward any sort of logical argument or even follow internally consistent logic.

      Scathsealgaire – I don’t think that any people are trash because of their gender, and women are people. I do not believe in Feminist Theory. Does this make me a bad person?

      Anthocerotopsida – Feminist theory is the theory that women aren’t contemptible trash because of their gender. Yes, by my standards, you’re a bad person for opposing that theory. “

      Scathsealgaire – “Yes, by my standards, you’re a bad person for opposing that theory.”
      Then I will waste no more time with you. If we cannot have a disagreement over a theory, without you thinking I’m a bad person then you are not the sort of person who should be doing Science and not the sort of person I should spend my valuable time arguing with.

      • Robert St. Estephe

        “The nuclear family must be destroyed.” Prof. of History, Linda Gordon, New York University

        This is the core, the essence, of feminist theory.

        Herbert Marcuse’s version of Marxism (Frankfurt School “critical theory,” popularly known as “cultural Marxism”) offers the elaborated rationale for this utopian vision.

        The vileness of authoritarian utopianists knows no limits.

  • ronwisegamgee

    This website and everything that went into making it what it is today, from the creators and contributors of fantastic, in-your-face, red-pill material, to all of the commenters and their different walks of life that converge into the issue of men’s human rights, has been an illuminating experience for me.

    While I haven’t suffered through the terrible, terrible shit that many men have gone through (such as divorce courts, child custody, etc.), I know many people in my life that are going through these kinds of challenges. Men’s humans rights issues are just so pervasive and ubiquitous in industrialized civilization that to mock them is just a sign of incredible stupidity and a tremendous lack of compassion, as has been recently demonstrated by yet another person who I’ve previously admired for his efforts in his areas of expertise and has stepped out of those bounds to make an ass out of himself: AronRa. But that’s a conversation for another time, so fuck him for now.

    I wish I could contribute something that hasn’t been said before or that doesn’t sound like a personal struggle stemming from myself (as opposed to my sex), but honestly, I’ve got nothing so far. Compared to the more profound stories that many men have shared here, my life has been quite banal, mostly due to a combination of lack of opportunity and lack of inclination to involve myself in relationships with women. While that may not serve as a goldmine for stories, the peace of mind that such a lifestyle brings is priceless. What this website (and this movement) does provide me with is the knowledge to arm myself against the bullshit being spewed in our social atmosphere when it comes to matters pertaining to gender issues, as well as a means of providing knowledge and hope for the men and boys in my life who are going through these struggles.

    Keep up the good work, folks.

  • Astrokid

    What amazes me is that the leaders mentioned in this article are able to keep their spirits going, YEAR AFTER YEAR, in spite of the circular firing squad.

    I am an MRA & and MGTOW, and within 1.5 years of being so, it sickens me to see the retardation and vitriol directed at AVFM’s strategy and staff from those within the movement. Some of the retarded vitriol comes in the form of YT comments.. rank & file members.. and some from bloggers/vloggers who have been around for a good time and should know better. They dont do shit for the MRM, and they try to bring down people who are actually trying to take the fight into mainstream.. the colleges, the streets.

    I am actually quite happy that several in the Manosphere rallied behind Paul when the 20/20 brief piece came out. There were a few Gamers that also did the telephonic conversation with ABC2020 and declined to meet in person. They were also appreciative of PE doing what he did.
    Thank you Manosphere for not going circular firing squad.

    Finally I would suggest to Suz & Danny Boy to go easy on the commenting over at the hitpieces or other similar places. Leave it to the rank and file. Your time is too valuable to be spent on that beyond a certain level.

  • Dan Perrins

    From the silent supporters to the most vocal, we all made FTSU happen.
    So lets stay the course and put and end to this crap society currently finds itself in.
    Many Thanks Paul.

  • Attila L. Vinczer

    We are a family, a team of men and women with a task at hand. Thank you for your vote of confidence Paul and remember you play a big role in having the vision to drive it all in a direction to a point we are all striving for. That is, for the rights and importance of men to not only be seen, but valued and the suffering of men stopped.

    I am humbled by the quick action and relentless resolve of everyone you mentioned and those who contribute quietly in their own way. It all matters and as you so aptly put it, men matter, men matter, men matter.

    There is still a lot of work ahead of us and I am confident we will get the job done.

  • Klar

    hah – think it’s that simple eh? just balance and common sense? what a concept, kinda like the old idea of right and wrong…

    Thanks AVfM for standing firm.

  • ringo-boby

    Thank *you* Paul, seriously.

    MRAs have come and gone, and with the utmost respect to those who have contributed and then departed the scene once they realized the sheer size of the wall we’re up against, I can understand why. But that’s why Paul (and the crew he mentioned) are so special, because despite the size of that wall they chipped away at it early on, and kept going, and now that wall is cracking, its wavering about and as we push we can see the wall move. Its not impossible to smash this feminist wall down, we just have to keep going. AVfM is the energy and support I need to keep going, thank you everyone for being that support.

  • boston86

    Paul-I don’t know how you do it. I just listened to your radio interview with some moron who rambled on about men who can’t get a women venting their hatred on sites like AVFM. Even after you explained very succinctly what the site is all about this buffoon continued to waffle about angry men(losers) who can’t handle women’s role in today’s society. I wanted to reach out and grab the ignorant fool and shake him. I could cry because this idiot represents the way most men think about the issues you raise. He clearly failed to listen to your responses and went off on his men vs women spiel as soon as he had cut you off.

  • AlexB

    Not so long ago sexism was a one way street that only happened to women, the word misandry didn’t even exist and people thought feminism had something to do with equality and/or human rights, men’s rights still has a long way to go, but there’s definitely progress, so thank you, each and every person who supports/supported men’s rights, for the basic right of men – men as in every single male of the human species – to be recognized as human beings.

  • Robert St. Estephe

    Your sentiment is well taken. I must, however, add the following correction. The word “misandry” has actually been around for a while, but, you are in essence right, in that until recently almost nobody gave a damn.

    “Misandry” the Word – Its Origin

    Long before the 1960s female privilege was identified as pervasive and it was alternately condemned and upheld by diverse voices. The entire historical narrative of the “gender wars” that has been taught in the past 60 years is wildly distorted and heavily censored. Gender feminists are, as you well know, perpetual and compulsive liars.

    “Honest history is the weapon of freedom.” — Arthur Schlesinger Jr.

  • 4thtroika

    Thank YOU.

  • RealistExtraordinaire

    A heartfelt THANK YOU to you too Paul from somewhere out here in the bowels of the Interwebs!

    I can’t tell you how glad I was to find AVfM! I’m not really an emotional kind of guy but I swear to you; when I first read/listened to some of the material by you, Karen Straughn, JtO, Alison, and Diana Davidson, I freakin’ cried. I had honestly started to think that NO ONE else saw the insanity but me! It’s especially encouraging to have such spectacular women lending their powerful minds and voices to the cause.

    All the very best to you Paul
    Thanks again!