Pretty Frickin’ Cool

I like to walk down the hill to the convenience store maybe a couple of times a week.  I live in a large-but-pleasant apartment complex, kinda out in the boonies.  So I’m listening to Prokofiev’s “Summer Night” Suite on my iPod and striding the mini-mall, when I chance upon a tall, broad-shouldered, handsome black guy, probably about 10 years younger than I, muscle-clinging black tee shirt and camouflage shorts, holding the hand of the cutest little boy you’ve seen since this one.  Tiny, little-boy pants.  Jeans with no back pockets.  (Where does he put his little-boy wallet?)  The jeans are so baggy it looks like he has no butt.

I passed them and watched, and watched, and watched with a big grin on my face.

When I was headed back home, they were still on the path in front of me.  I desperately wanted to ask him whether I could take a picture, quickly interview him to find out who/what/where/when/why/how.  I wanted to share a bit more of it than I am sharing.  But I’m glad I decided against it.  There’s something to be said for haiku, although it sounds more pitiful in English:

A father and son

Walking hand in hand without

My interference.

Therefore, I will refrain from mentioning the pièce de résistance when he pulled the kid from his side by the torso and placed him up over his shoulders.

B.R. Merrick writes for “Strike The Root” and “A Voice for Men,” lives in the Northeast, is  proud to be a classical music reviewer at Amazon.com and iTunes, and in spite of the poisonous nature of television, God Himself will have to pry his DVDs of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” out of his cold, dead hands, under threat of eternal damnation.

About B.R. Merrick

B.R. Merrick writes for "Strike The Root" and "A Voice for Men," and is proud to be a classical music reviewer at Amazon.com and iTunes.

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  • Izzey

    I write poetry.
    And this whole thing has just left me with imagery worth writing about.

    Excellent piece.
    Made my day!!!

    Izzey

  • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

    And this is why many men will not join a group like this. Fighting for men’s rights is one thing. Trying to integrate it with homosexuality is a completely different thing. I have nothing against homosexuals but if you think men are going to be ‘ok’ with this underlying homosexual influence in it then you will forever remain on the fringe and never in the favor of the majority of men. So, good luck with that.

    • http://avoiceformen.com Paul Elam

      Fine, then let it be divisive. And let me make something else clear (as if I hadn’t 100 times already), this site isn’t “The Men’s Movement,” it is one group of voices that support many men’s issues. And the policy of this site, which I value much more than anyone’s notions of what the MRM should be, includes all supporters of men and boys without qualification.

      But thanks for your wishes of good luck. I am assuming you sent them unaware of current events.

      Down voted for being a pootie head.

      • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

        A pootie head, I will so remain, Paul. In your ‘about me’ page you state your dislike for the conformity of the military and of academia, which I have spent a number of years in both but I seem to sense the same thing going on over here.

        Are you creating the same type of environment here as well, unknowingly?

        • http://avoiceformen.com Paul Elam

          Sure there is conformity here. We don’t allow lots of things, man hating feminist rants, shame trips from manginas and white knights, as well as pinheaded haters making an issue where there is none. The only divisiveness about homosexuality on this MRA forum at the moment is your rather neurotic discomfort with it.

          I wrote a piece here about the drug war in which I described someone as “An African American man that looked younger than his 35 years.”

          Just like B.R. description it had nothing to do with physical attraction to the man, and frankly I would not care if it did.

          He is a respected pro male writer here and has earned better than this fucked up thread has delivered. But then, that is why he is here and you are not.

          But I tell you what, when you get over yourself, send me an email apologizing to all readers of AVfM and donate $1,000.00 I will let you back in to show us all just what it is that you are doing for the men’s movement.

          • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive_and_you_know it

            haha, you are truly the mangina in chief.

          • !!SPARTA!!

            Yea but does he have to insertnhis sexuality into evertything he writes? ok.
            yea.
            we know you’re gay
            Do you really have to sling that thing around everywhere you go?
            i don’t see anyone else throwing their sexuality at everyone.
            i don’t see anyone else writing about their adventures at wal-mart with the sexy chick in the tight shirt and nipples poking out and her tight ass and imagery of how her pussy juices taste. I’m exaggerrating with that last part, but really is it necessary?

          • http://avoiceformen.com Paul Elam

            I don’t know how to explain this any more, but as I you might guess from a couple of my recent comments, my temper is a tad short recently. I will try to do better.

            That being said, look at the down votes on your comment. I think they represent the fact that we have cultivated a culture where most men don’t give a shit if you want to talk about being gay. I note that Merrick didn’t even do that in this article, but that seems to be beside the point here as it would have been better at this point if he had talked about being gay.

            But here’s the deal. This is not a forum where any kind of shaming of men based on their sexuality is welcome.

            There is a period at the end of that. If the mere fact that a man is gay and says so disturbs you, then it is my opinion that you have a lot of ignorance to undo. That kind of ignorance is the enemy of everything this site is intended to be about.

            I am not going to enter a prolonged discussion about it.

    • Eoghan

      Divisive person projecting.

      • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

        Projecting, divisive person.

        • Eoghan

          Latent homosexual person looking asking others to protect him from “homosexual influence”.

    • elvis

      The movement for the “new family Unit, male/male and female/female” is attacking the weakest link of the hetero-family unit, which is the hetero-male.
      To not understand the that the new homosexual family unit needs to vilify the hetero-family unit in order to “Empower” the new family unit…Is simply willful ignorance.

      • http://avoiceformen.com Paul Elam

        No one is denying that, but your lack of understanding of the post and my response to it is quickly tiring me. As is your return of pushing your “gender raunch” agenda, which I have tried to warn you about.

        Read the fucking mission and values here. If you can’t get behind them, that is your choice and I have no beef with you over it. But the proper thing to do in that event is to leave and go somewhere where the agenda is more to your liking.

        Is this plain or not?

      • http://realitysnapsback.wordpress.com Daegus

        How exactly does what you or what that other twat posted have anything to do with anything? It’s gay for a man to see a father and son together and respond to that? Wow. If THAT’S gay, I can’t imagine what else could be gay. *cough*

        Anyways,

        This is beautiful. Makes me wish I could have had such an experience with my father. Oh well, hopefully one day I will have a son of my own and I will be able to give him all of the things that I needed that my own father could not give me.

        • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

          Entire post out of context relevant to what I’m talking about.

          • BeijaFlor

            I’d say you’re the one entirely out of context.

      • Raven01

        Dude, whether or not the observer is gay or not is totally irrelevant.
        It is just a short story about a father and a son and, the inherent beauty of such interactions.

        I’m not sure if we are seeing a pair of closet homosexuals still in denial here, or just men raised by single mothers that never had a chance to learn that there is nothing queer about such simple yet touching moments.

        P.S. I don’t think fags are any threat to mens rights at all, they still are subject to much of the same discrimination brought about by feminists. And they comprise maybe 2-10% of the population and have won more rights that we have collectively as “just men”. Maybe we can learn something.

        • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

          ‘I’m not sure if we are seeing a pair of closet homosexuals still in denial here, or just men raised by single mothers that never had a chance to learn that there is nothing queer about such simple yet touching moments.’

          I’m curious how one could happen upon such information by reading an internet post.

    • Adi

      You’re a fool. The discrimination of men and the anti-male laws are affecting all men. This is not about sexuality but about biological sex. We’re fighting for equality. Don’t give a damn about who they share their bed with.

      Just read an article about the glass ceiling that affects so called “sensitive men” as bad as it affects women. That proves that the glass ceiling has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with behavior – as it should be. Affirmative action makes it about gender though – leaving out all the so called sensitive men and that probably includes a great number of homosexuals and other deviations. They would benefit from our success and so they should join us and help us just as the lesbians did for the feminists.

      • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

        ‘You’re a fool. The discrimination of men and the anti-male laws are affecting all men. This is not about sexuality but about biological sex. We’re fighting for equality. Don’t give a damn about who they share their bed with.’

        I don’t care who anyone shares a bed with either. I’m glad you brought that up. Why does homosexual sensuality about straight man and his little boy have to do with anti-male laws or discrimination by women’s groups?

        ‘They would benefit from our success and so they should join us and help us just as the lesbians did for the feminists.’

        The argument isn’t about homosexuality, it’s about homosexual sensuality on site that appears to be about Men’s rights and boys. If a prepubescent boy or teenager came to this site looking for answers as a frustrated heterosexual and saw this, I don’t think he would stay or agree with the homosexual sensuality expressed here. It’s just not necessary.

        • Adi

          “If a prepubescent boy or teenager came to this site looking for answers as a frustrated heterosexual and saw this, I don’t think he would stay or agree with the homosexual sensuality expressed here. It’s just not necessary.”

          In other words, boys could never be expected to grow up and handle homosexuality as part of society. You clearly don’t have much faith in boys if that’s how you think about them.

          Actually my experience with boys is that they’re fine with homosexuality until society teaches them to hate everything male and obsessively try to hide any hint of appreciation for men long before they even have a clue what their sexuality might be.

          Incidentally, I didn’t see any homosexuality in that post. Perhaps a hint of homoerotic writing but, as a straight male, I don’t see anything wrong with that. Just because society celebrates everything female and condemns everything male some of us are conditioned to be disgusted at any hint that the male body has it’s own aesthetic appeal irrespective of sexuality.
          Many old stories and myths about heroes and warriors had a ton of homoerotic elements. It’s all just been censored out in pop culture because men not hating each other is poison for the femocracy.

          Let’s stop hating ourselves just because society raises us to. And let’s stop teaching our sons and each other to try and be “real men” just to cater to the oppressors. Read this article for more on that:
          http://hubpages.com/hub/Dont-try-to-be-a-real-man

        • Eff’d Off

          Hey Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

          Its really important that you are the winner in a trumped up debate about absolutely nothing.

          Fuck off you narcissistic cunt.

      • B.R. Merrick

        Adi, I’m so sorry. I downvoted this. That should be an “Up” vote. I don’t know how to fix it.

        • Adi

          Not to worry.

    • KARMA MRA MGTOW

      Yep and religion is worse.

      • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

        I disagree. Religion is just as bad. If you’re talking about homosexuality in general then I’d have to say that both groups use similar tactics of the whole ‘if you don’t agree/believe what I do then you’re a/an [enter heterophobic/religious based insult].

        • B.R. Merrick

          I’m glad that you stand against organized religion, because I’m going to use the Lord’s name in vain:

          Jesus! Where did you come from?! Thanks for taking this entire thread off-topic.

          • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

            ‘I’m glad that you stand against organized religion, because I’m going to use the Lord’s name in vain:

            Jesus! Where did you come from?! Thanks for taking this entire thread off-topic.

            That was the doing of your fellow posters taking my simple questions out of context.

    • KARMA MRA MGTOW

      @ Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive April 9th, 2011 – 18:46

      Really how is that?

    • BeijaFlor

      @ Homosexuality_is_all_I_see_and_I_HATE_IT (sic):

      All you show me, personally, is hate. And I’m not homosexual; I have no erotic interest, or even curiosity, in men.

      What I saw in B.R.’s story was far more charming.

      I saw a portrait of a man who was just utterly “Daddy!!!”

      Hater, get your mind out of the gutter.

  • Kevin

    That story reminded me of a father/son moment during the 1992 summer Olympics.

    Derek Redmond was favored to win the 400 meter race. He had suffered injuries before that had derailed him from attaining Olympic gold. In the middle of the race one of his hamstrings tore and it hurt so bad Derek Redmond said “I thought I had been shot.”

    He started to limp around the track for no other reason besides finishing the race. His father saw this and rushed out of the stands and fought past security to get onto the track. He threw one of Derek’s arms around his own neck and helped him as he limped across the finish line.

    Here is the youtube link if anyone is interested in witnessing an amazing father/son moment:

    • Izzey

      I have seen this Kevin. It brings tears.
      Now, imagine how many sons don’t have their fathers to be this sort of father………………because of their mothers.

      It holds a reality check; appropriate for this site.

      Izzey

      • Kevin

        Izzey,

        Thank you for your nice comment.

        I need to take this time to clear up something that we had discussed in a previous posting.

        I hope my comments from a previous posting (the one with the marching sluts) did not come across as me having some sort of problem with women MRAs, because I have absolutely NOTHING against women MRAs.

        I do not care what is between a person’s legs. I only care about what is in a person’s heart. Paul’s comment a few posts above made me think that I should clear up what can be taken as a misunderstanding.

        Thank you for supporting Men’s Rights.

        • Izzey

          Not at all, Kevin. :)
          I went back to your post and addressed it. Thank you so much.

          And I am proud to be here.

  • elvis

    The religious community may be doing more for mens/fathers rights than MRA’s will ever do.

    • Nergal

      Lol, you’re kidding,right? They’re telling men to get married, and then when they get screwed, they’re telling those men it was THEIR fault.

      They’re probably doing more to promote male suicides than MRAs will ever do, but as far as promoting men’s rights and choices for men, this is where it’s at.

      • http://avoiceformen.com Paul Elam

        I don’t give a shit if this moron is kidding or not. He is outta here.

        • B.R. Merrick

          Well, so much for gender raunch.

        • Eff’d Off

          Darn it Paul, it was fun watching that simian git writhe on a rope.

          Why’d you go cut him down, he was like a really interesting wind chime.

      • http://none Atlas Reloaded

        Thank you….was just thinking; religions tell men basically they “must” get married. Often hidden with a “or you’re not a real man” message. How is that helping the MRM???

    • KARMA MRA MGTOW

      Really for example?

    • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

      I respectfully disagree.

      • http://truthjusticeca.wordpress.com/ Denis

        You’re an outsider, a stranger and a one-issue troll. Why should anybody give a shit about your opinion?

  • http://none Atlas Reloaded

    Oh and thanks B.R. Like I said, you gotta write more often!

  • http://avoiceformen.com J3DIone1

    Dude!!! You write the most awesome bro : ) Kids love their dads more than feminist will admit. They will copy us in every way and say the the funniest stuff. When I lay my son down for bed I usually rub and pat his back to get him to go to sleep, when he wakes up he comes and does the same to me to let me know its time for daddy to wake up. I wish that in some ways we as adults were more like children in the sense that when your young you have no worries, like you feel your going to live forever and everything seems like a perfect world, hate has no meaning for you then…you see the world as it should be not for what it is. Growing up and seeing how the world really is ruins our innocence and darkens our humanity.

  • Snark

    Here is how David Futrelle will ‘interpret’ your comment:

    “When I lay my son down for bed I usually rub and pat his back to get him to go to sleep, when he wakes up he comes”

    Those MRAs are MONSTERS

    • http://avoiceformen.com J3DIone1

      I think somebody would have to be pretty sick in the head and be a closet pedophile to even remotely interprate that into something disgusting.

      • http://avoiceformen.com J3DIone1

        That actually kind of pissed me off a bit. Ok then, lets look at it this way then. Feminist want us men to get touch with our feminine side and so since his mom is no were no be found I guess i will just have to make do with what so called “femininity” I have. Women have thousands of books on how to be a single mother but if anyone would like to direct me to a book on how to be a single dad then please by all means send a link.

      • Snark

        You have to get inside your enemy’s head to understand how they operate.

  • Stu

    Feminists have written a lot about how to be a single dad too. Mostly they say pay lots of child support and alimony, and stay away

  • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

    Paul, let me be more specific. It’s not that I oppose gays. But what exactly is the point of writing sensually about a grown man with his son on a site that appears to be championing Men and their children? I just don’t see the connection. And I do find it odd that so many would be quick to hands down my POV on this topic.

    ‘And the policy of this site, which I value much more than anyone’s notions of what the MRM should be, includes all supporters of men and boys without qualification.’

    Would this include pedos and/or the infamous NAMBLA organization? I’m not mentioning this to be argumentative but ‘without qualification’ can mean anything to the wrong type of people. I’m only curious why would anything sensual would be on a site such as this.

    • Nergal

      “But what exactly is the point of writing sensually about a grown man with his son on a site that appears to be championing Men and their children?”

      “Would this include pedos and/or the infamous NAMBLA organization?”

      I don’t believe this article was pedophilic in nature and I think that is a HORRIBLE charge to make against someone unless there is evidence to back such a view up. Because a man says a little boy is “cute”, there’s automatically something sexual about it? What about the thousands of women we’ve all seen in our lifetimes fawn over children with those exact words? Hell, they fawned over ME in that exact manner when I was a small child.

      Are all these women also pedophiles?

      I believe attitudes like these are part of what we’re fighting here.

      • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

        Nice way to take my quotes out of context. It was a question to what Paul said and not to the article itself.

        ‘Because a man says a little boy is “cute”, there’s automatically something sexual about it?’

        I didn’t mention anything about the comment toward the child.

        ‘I believe attitudes like these are part of what we’re fighting here.’

        I’m not a feminist, nor blaming anyone of anything. I’m just asking questions. If that gets you too emotional rather than just answering the question then please, by all means, let something that can, answer.

        • Nergal

          I’m not emotional at all,brother. If you weren’t insinuating that Mr. Merrick was a pedophile then your comment was worded in a highly confusing manner. Take this question for instance:

          “But what exactly is the point of writing sensually about a grown man with his son on a site that appears to be championing Men and their children?”

          There’s only one way that I know of that such a question can be interpreted.

          If I was unable to answer your questions, I would posit that it is unclear what you were asking to begin with.

          • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

            ‘There’s only one way that I know of that such a question can be interpreted.’

            If you read the article then you’d know I’m talking about the way he’s writing about the father.

          • Nergal

            “tall”, “broad-shouldered”, “handsome”, which part of that was “sensual” to you?

            I guess I didn’t even think about that since these are classical ways that completely heterosexual men have referred to each other. Read any author from the 1800’s,these used to be quite commonplace descriptors.

            As I said, your comment was highly confusing. I apologize if I misinterpreted what you were saying but the reference to pedos and “NAMBLA” threw me off.

            You should have come out and said what was bothering you in the first place.

          • http://truthjusticeca.wordpress.com/ Denis

            Absolutely nothing wrong with appreciating the beauty of MAN, you don’t even have to be a fag.

      • !!SPARTA!!

        Cute is one thing, talking about his buttnis another

        • Nergal

          It seemed to me that it was a general remark on the bagginess of the jeans but it is a comment that would be better qualified by the author himself. I know absolutely nothing about what gay people find remarkable.

          I do know it is not at all wrong to observe that another man has a pleasant face or that a child is cute. It isn’t wrong when a woman does it (most of the time) and it is just as innocent when a man does it (most of the time).

      • POD

        Heck, puppies are cute too, does that make me bestial?

        The physical description of the father & son duo written by BR is detailed, but then I’ve read some Sherlock Holmes and similar novels where the author writes such details , well then if that makes Sir A. C. Doyle gay, so be it.

        Next!

    • by_the_sword

      The event that B.R. Merrick described is a heart-warming event. There was nothing “sensual” about it. It was a snapshot of a boy spending time with his father, something that is becoming rarer and rarer these days as more and more men are shut out of their children’s lives entirely.

      You might take exception to the way Mr. Merrick described the man and boy but remember that he sees men differently than we do and since he is gay and therefore, free of the feminist matrix he may use different language that what we straight men might be expected to use. But even when he described the boy, I did not detect a lustful overtone.

      I contend that the descriptions used would have been passable had a woman written them, therefore were without lustful intent (toward the boy) and were harmless.

      • Izzey

        I contend that the descriptions used would have been passable had a woman written them, therefore were without lustful intent (toward the boy) and were harmless

        And this woman agrees.

        Izzey

      • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

        ‘You might take exception to the way Mr. Merrick described the man and boy but remember that he sees men differently than we do and since he is gay and therefore, free of the feminist matrix he may use different language that what we straight men might be expected to use.’

        Most of the men that I’ve come across that support Feminism are either a part of the LGBT crowd themselves and/or a mangina. If you’re assuming that his ‘gayness’ automatically excludes him, as this is what it appears that you’re implying, I’d like to respectfully disagree.

        ‘But even when he described the boy, I did not detect a lustful overtone. ‘

        Once again, I never mentioned anything about the author writing about the boy. There isn’t any need to feel defensive.

        ‘I contend that the descriptions used would have been passable had a woman written them, therefore were without lustful intent (toward the boy) and were harmless.’

        Once again, I never mentioned anything about the author writing about the boy. There isn’t any need to feel defensive.

        • Izzey

          Okay then–

          when I chance upon a tall, broad-shouldered, handsome black guy, probably about 10 years younger than I, muscle-clinging black tee shirt and camouflage shorts,

          Is this what offends you?
          If you did not know anything about the author, except for the fact that he is a writer–would this not be a concise description of this man?

          It is written very well. I see him perfectly. This is what the writer wants you to see.

          Next

          • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

            ‘Is this what offends you?
            If you did not know anything about the author, except for the fact that he is a writer–would this not be a concise description of this man?’

            No, I’m not offended by any of it. I’m questioning it’s relevance to this site. Why is sensuality relevant in a site that is for Men and boys?

          • KARMA MRA MGTOW

            “Why is sensuality relevant in a site that is for Men and boys?”

            Moot point.

            I don’t see anything sensual is what Mr Merrick wrote, he is describing a fine upstanding positive black role model, a fit young black man with his son, we need more fit men with their sons full stop.

            I wonder if the man Mr Merrick described was Homer Simson, Al Bundy, Raymond from everyone loves Raymond etc.

            What would your reaction be?

          • http://truthjusticeca.wordpress.com/ Denis

            Nobody gives a shit about YOUR opinion of relevance. YOU are an outsider and a stranger here.

          • B.R. Merrick

            Next

            :)

            On that note, I bow out of this completely de-railed thread.

          • Izzey

            I’m sorry you got de-railed.

            I sure did like reading this. Your words painted a beautiful portrait of father and son. The simplicity of a happenstance encounter, and lovely observations, made me feel the weight of its significance.

            Izzey

        • KARMA MRA MGTOW

          Dude the most divisive is your tag

          “Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive”

          Maybe I will change my tag to one of these

          “Religion_will_always_be_divisive”

          “Gender_will_always_be_divisive”

          “Color_will_always_be_divisive”

          “Class_will_always_be_divisive”

          “Materialism_will_always_be_divisive”

          etc etc etc

          • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

            Yes, and all the above would be honest and for the most part, true. I’m in agreement.

          • KARMA MRA MGTOW

            “I’m in agreement.”

            Finally you admit you are a troll, now go away and find a site that is relevant to you name tag and agenda.

          • Eff’d Off

            How about this ?

            “Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive_will_always_be_divisive”

          • BeijaFlor

            Or how about this, for full honesty and acknowledgement of one’s part in the divisiveness:

            I_will_always_be_divisive”

    • B.R. Merrick

      Mr. Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive Person, give an exact quote that reveals this “sensuality” nonsense. The hand-holding? The shoulder ride? The compliments on their appearance? How could you miss the absolute joy of a black guy taking on his fatherly responsibilities with such gusto? Do you have any idea the serious, deadly lack of fathers within the black American community? Would you please, please just shut up and go away?

      • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

        ‘Mr. Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive Person, give an exact quote that reveals this “sensuality” nonsense. The hand-holding? The shoulder ride? The compliments on their appearance? How could you miss the absolute joy of a black guy taking on his fatherly responsibilities with such gusto? Do you have any idea the serious, deadly lack of fathers within the black American community? Would you please, please just shut up and go away?’

        As I originally stated, the relevance of sensual, homosexual writing. Period.

        Yes I do know of the ‘plight’ of Black fathers but that is off-topic of what I’m asking.

        ‘How could you miss the absolute joy of a black guy taking on his fatherly responsibilities with such gusto?’

        Nice attempt to put words in my mouth. Please cite or quote anything relevant that supports this accusation.

        ‘Would you please, please just shut up and go away?’

        Is this not ‘one group of voices that support many men’s issues’ as Mr. Paul Elam stated above? Is my hardcore heterosexuality too overwhelming for you? I hope not. I just want and only want to know why there is sensual homosexual articles in a website such as this. Of course, this is all I ever wanted to know in the first place. If it’s just another element of this group, so be it. I just want to know the reason for it.

        • KARMA MRA MGTOW

          “Yes I do know of the ‘plight’ of Black fathers but that is off-topic of what I’m asking.”

          NO you are off topic, the topic is B.R. Merrick post – the bit at the top of this page….

          Yes we have gay writers, so what if you don’t like it fuck off.

          If you have problems with sexuality – whatever type – go see a therapist, you will find what you are seeking here.

          Gay, straight, left, right, religious, atheist, white, black etc etc etc are all welcome here as we all have ONE enemy – feminist governance…

          • KARMA MRA MGTOW

            “If you have problems with sexuality – whatever type – go see a therapist, you will find what you are seeking here.”

            Woops!!

            Above Should read

            If you have problems with your sexuality – whatever type – go see a therapist, you will NOT find what you are seeking here.

    • Raven01

      Uhhh because it WASN’T written sensually.
      One guy to another, “Nice shirt” does not translate into “I’m gay and want to do you in the bathroom”.

      You are the one seeing things that aren’t there so, you failed the Rorshach test and better come to grips with your sexuality before it does your serious mental harm.

  • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

    I take it no one plans to answer the actual question about relevance?

    • B.R. Merrick

      I refuse to answer any questions about “relevance” until something you say ends up having some relevance to the original post. You obviously chose your username to butt in here. How about if you let some “relevance” butt in now?

      • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

        Okay! Sensual, homosexual descriptions in the article. What is the purpose for it on the ‘avoiceformen.com’ website?

        • Raven01

          What, “Senual, Homosexual descriptions”?
          No one else sees them, but we’re all either straight and accept it or gay and accept it……… you on the other hand seem to be in conflict beating your chest and screaming “I am straight” all the while using the tactics of a 12 year old girl not getting her way.

          The problem clearly is not Mr. Merrick’s story which I’d like to thank him for sharing. The problem is within yourself.

    • Nergal

      My answer, in light of your recent clarification is that homoerotic material has nothing to do with men’s rights but the aforementioned descriptors “handsome”,”broad-shouldered”,”tall”, and of course the descriptions of the man’s clothing and race are not homoerotic in nature and have been commonly used without reservation or qualification by heterosexual authors throughout time.

      In short, much ado about nothing.

      • Izzey

        Damn Nergal…I keep hitting the thumbs up button…but it only registers once….tap.. tap.. tap.. tap.. tap.. tap…

      • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

        [Admin note: An AVfM first!! First, Elvis left the building. Now this clone. Two ban hammers, one day! Are we cool or what?]

        And a note to you, oh now absent one. There was no divisiveness at all, till you showed up and started stinking the place up. Now run along, your Moral Majority meeting starts in 5….

        • http://truthjusticeca.wordpress.com/ Denis

          You’re the outsider shit for brains. You come here as a stranger with no other issue than homophobia. You’re not even an MRA, just a troll.

        • Nergal

          What question have I not answered? If you were more well-read you’d see that only since the late 1980’s,early 1990’s has it been seen as “gay” for one man to refer to another as “handsome”.

          It has always been common for men to describe other men as “well-bred”, “of pleasant aspect” or “of handsome countenance”,if you go only as far back as the 1600’s when homosexuality was a crime punishable by death, men were referring to each other in this manner.

          As recently as the 1960’s men commonly referred to each other as “smart-looking” which carried the connotation of “handsome”. Older men still sometimes tell me, “that is a handsome suit”,or “your hair is very smart this morning”. These are family men, and the comment is simply a remark on being well-dressed, not a homosexual come-on.

          The idea that it is homosexual to speak to another man in this manner is an invention of a thoroughly feminist society that devalues platonic male relationships.

          You must be very young.

          I am trying hard to respond respectfully,but my patience is being severely tried. If you doubt what I am saying, watch a few movies from the 50’s or read a few books by turn of the century authors. The man who wrote this article has not done what you suggest he has done, it is a misunderstanding on your part.

    • BeijaFlor

      Mister Divisive,

      You have gotten to the point where a lot of us won’t even bother to read your screed; we simply down-check it and go on.

      And you have taken a comment-thread about a beautiful word-picture and turned it very very ugly.

      I’d like to recommend that you stop trolling (for that is certainly what you’re doing here), use your monitor not your keyboard for a while, read and learn and maybe reach for a higher level of maturity. (And I’m not talking about calendar years, rather about a level of growth where you’re no longer knee-jerk reacting like a gender-raunch slut.)

  • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

    I’m start to believe this is a male feminist site. Out of context statement and quotes? Check. Hysteria about any topic questioning anything homosexuality? Check. Ability to not get a straight answer about an honest question? Check. Good day to you, gentlemen.

    • http://truthjusticeca.wordpress.com/ Denis

      Nobody gives a shit what you think, you’re just a one issue troll, fuck off.

      • http://avoiceformen.com Paul Elam

        I just chipped a fingernail hitting the thumbs up button. Daaaaamn you! :)

      • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive_and_you_know it

        Of course, like any feminst or religious or LGBT group your own tolerance stops at what you’re intolerant with. I’m convinced that this is a feminist organization.

        • http://avoiceformen.com Daniel Martinez

          We have a psycho here!!!

        • Nergal

          You are the only one bringing sexuality into this. If I am correct,and judging by your moniker it seems to be the case, your only objective in posting here was to derail threads and stir up shit. THAT is what we will not tolerate.

          You WILL NOT use our relative open-mindedness as an excuse to try to trip us up,or fuck up what we have going in the MRM. That is the line where my personal tolerance ends. But this isn’t about tolerance or intolerance, it’s about you kicking a dead horse and continuing to make an ass out of yourself after you were exposed as being full of shit.

        • http://truthjusticeca.wordpress.com/ Denis

          Who the hell are you and why should we give a shit what you think? You come in here with your one issue homophobe pony, which has nothing to do with men’s rights and then you make the MOST stupid of suggestions that Paul is connected to feminists. Either you’ve been living in a hole or you’re just plain stupid. Either way, your opinion is not worth much.

        • Sad Dad

          No,

          You just entered a site with mostly very smart men who are used to arguing with feminist pigs who think they are right.

    • Tasha

      H —

      you’re a bit of an idiot aren’t you?

      head down now love, the grown ups are talking

    • http://avoiceformen.com J3DIone1

      Don’t you EVER compare us to bottom feeding trash like feminist DON’T YOU DO IT SIR, DON”T YOU GOD DAMN DO IT. Your just pissed because we all see each other as brothers here. Brothers willing and wanting to come together to end a MASS INJUSTICE that has been done to us all. I come here to see and talk about the issue at hand, FEMINISM, And when it comes to race, age and sexual oriantation I prefer to do it with a blind fold on because those three petty issues are not why I’m here. My thoughts on homosexuality is not why I am here and I’m not going to shoot down a brother for any reason what so ever regardless.

    • Adi

      I just don’t see what your problem is. I didn’t even see any sensuality as you describe it and, even if I had, it doesn’t have to be relevant to the site as long as it’s not what the whole post is centered around. It’s common writing style to include hints and details that might not be connected to the main topic.

      On top of that, I personally DO see the relevance of male-male sensuality (read non-hate) on a site that fights the hatred of men. One of the goals must be to stop having to worry about looking gay just because we don’t hate each other as men. Even as a straight guy I’m fed up with it. Believe it or not, you can be straight and still have affection for other men, you can be straight and appreciate aesthetic beauty in men.

      Men and women are far more similar than different. Take one of each sex, remove the make-up, dress them in exactly the same clothes, stop the body shaving (or make both do it) and give them the same haircuts. You’ll see that we look very very similar. Far too similar to justify kneeling before the one and running from the other. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate beautifully dressed women. Just we have to remind ourselves that underneath the frills and decorations, lies just another person.

      That’s another area of inequality really, men are forced by society to hide beauty and try to look functional and not care about their bodies. The different shades of gray, we’re forced to wear in the corporate world go a long way to show what status we have in society.

  • http://realitysnapsback.wordpress.com Daegus

    You guys need to stop responding to “Homosexuality_will_always_be_divise”. He refuses to say anything coherent and it’s obvious he’s just here to be a provocateur. When you ask him questions, he responds with non-sequitirs like “don’t put words in my mouth, DERP!” He isn’t worth the time. Seriously. How could anyone who legitimately interprets father and son bonding as gay be anything but anti-male, if not a closet and in denial gay?

    • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive_and_you_know it

      ah, yes the good -ol feminist shame tactics.

    • KARMA MRA MGTOW

      I also suspected the same the guy/girl has issues not our problem.

  • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive_and_you_know it

    No Karma, I genuinely wanted a simple answer to a question. Since I realize this group is more concerned about ‘protecting’ something that wasn’t originally under attack in the first place then I kind of ‘caught the drift’ of what was going on. It’s sad that there truly isn’t a place where straight men can go if their vulnerable without someone else with an agenda or male-bashers that want to ‘conform them’ into something they don’t want any part of. It’s really just that simple.

    • http://avoiceformen.com Daniel Martinez

      that was not under attack? are you reading the same web site?

  • http://none Atlas Reloaded

    All I saw..I mean ALL I saw, the closest to any “sensuality” is B.R refering to the Dad as handsome. Just as if it were me, and the boy was with his Mommy and she was hot I most likely would mention THAT! K?

    Anyways as Denis already said, fuck off. Go play in a freeway.

    • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive_and_you_know it

      Feminazism is divisive.

      • http://avoiceformen.com Daniel Martinez

        homophobia is divisive too. We are trying to build something here. Please MR. Troll go provoque someone else. We are trying to build union among men, we are making concious aweraness here. We are working really hard for the cause of equalty for men. Your trolling is an insult to the hard working people in this site.

  • Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive_and_you_know it

    It’s okay Paul, I’m done here. For the last time, good day to you all.

    • Eff’d Off

      “It’s okay Paul, I’m done here. For the last time, good day to you all.”

      Promise ?

  • typhonblue

    Derailed thread is derailed.

    BTW, seeing a man interact lovingly with his kid just generates a feeling that isn’t sexual at all; it’s something primal yet spiritual, purely masculine and utterly transcendent.

    • typhonblue

      Er… the interaction, not the feeling.

    • BeijaFlor

      B.R. Merrick’s story is lyrically beautiful. I can just picture that young man, and his little little boy hanging onto Daddy’s hand, looking up with his eyes wide and admiring, then to be swung up onto Daddy’s shoulders and to ride on that frighteningly-high, but warm and secure, perch.

      It’s a picture beyond mere happiness. “This is what DADDY is!!!”

  • Eoghan

    Lovely piece, it put a smile on my face too.

  • keith

    To address the question directly, regarding sensuality, I am a father of three, 30 year old daughter, 27 year old son and a 6 year old son. My youngest is autistic, his speech is undeveloped. I could choose the path of most parents, which is frustration, disappointment, and the rest of the shit people shop for to feel unworthy. But I chose a different path with my son, sensuality. We communicate with our bodies and our gestures. Few people I have noticed ever develop this. I’m pretty sure BRo Merrick has. I’ll be clear in that we do not use sign language (his mother my ex, did not support his learning to sign). Most people I find are so invested in their own internal dialogue and forming the context of their speech, they miss the physical language expressed. Now I know language is a complex tool, but if you ever try to put it aside, you might just discover that the presence of people says something all by itself. BRo Merrick did something that any proud parent would appreciate, he read their happiness and joy without one fucking word. He got it. If your reading this BRo thanks for getting it, you made that father proud of himself with your interest and ability to see it and acknowledge it. You de Man.

    Because I share sensuality with my youngest son I know when he places his hand on my face he is loving and comforting me. When he grabs me and shakes me, he is excited and flowing. When he holds my hand to cross the street he is protecting me. He see’s me and I see him, our language is physical and it’s right now, there’s no history to it or expectations, we accept each other right now. At a younger age I lost my speech for a year and a half and had to relearn how to talk. I am quite comfortable with physical language and find it to be much more refined and void of bullshit and politics. It’s honest.

    @ “the always divisive homosexual” I care less about your sexuality and the length of your toe nails than I do about your divisiveness. I would suggest to you quite seriously that your question reveals a lack of depth and a blindness that is common. I would suggest you try not being the worlds personal hand puppet and get some personal experience, which you could easily gain by saying less and watching more. But in case that doesn’t work for you I’m including a link so you can practice. It’s a face robot and you can change the expressions on it and the expressions are labeled so you don’t get confused. Oh and it’s gender neutral just for your safety.

    http://www.dotolearn.com/games/facialexpressions/face.htm

    • Adi

      Hi Keith,
      very pleased to see you here and, as to be expected, a great point.

      I can confirm this with my own experience. We, especially adults, greatly undervalue physical language. It’s a terrible loss and source of isolation for all of us. Kids need to touch things – a lot. In fact they touch everything (people, animals, razor blades, hot stoves, you name it) and they don’t just touch, they feel and carefully study things with their hands. They even go as far as to take things in their mouths to learn more about them.

      It’s bad enough that we adults (men in particular) have to shut out that form of communication to a great extent due to all kinds of social norms and threats of sexual harassment. But to deny our children such a major part of growing up and learning can only be very damaging – I suspect more so for boys than for girls as they are known to be more physical with their surroundings anyway.

      I just learned something new again from reading your comment, Keith.

  • http://huntingforarchetypes.blogspot.com Factory

    Jesus.

    Well, there’s nothing for it now…

    Who’s gay and wants to write an explicitly gay, ‘uncomfortably homosexual’ article then?

    I mean, if we’re going to have bigoted assholes coming here unable to see past the sexuality implied in words on a screen, we might as well give them something real to get ‘upset’ over.

    Although my bet is Mr I-Hates-the -Gays would far rather have one of these:

    http://www.blogcdn.com/www.urlesque.com/media/2009/03/penispacifier.jpg

    • typhonblue

      That’s adorable! I want one!

      • http://huntingforarchetypes.blogspot.com Factory

        I’m not cutting anything off…but it’s at least that cute.

        :)

  • Mr. XY

    Thank you for sharing that. I recently had a very similar experience where the man also happened to be black but he was walking and holding tight in each hand the hands of his two beautiful little girls. You could see how much love he had for them. I immediately felt a bond with him and wanted to come over and talk to him, but then I realized that in this fucked up society we live in, he would have probably thought I had an interest in his girls or something stupid like that; so I just looked, smiled, and took in that moment where you could see two beautiful little girls absolutely showered with love and protection of their father.

  • chris

    Oy

  • http://truthjusticeca.wordpress.com/ Denis

    I really enjoyed this post. The imagery of the moment was more powerful than any dissertation of facts.

    The discussion certainly illustrates the difficulty in men sharing these feelings as they expose themselves to accusations of being gay or pedo for appreciating the beauty of it all. Even worse, it’s other men doing the shaming.

    Thanks brother Merrick for being so brave and showing us our softer side.

  • codebuster

    I’m having difficulty understanding how anyone can interpret this sensitive piece as “homoerotic”. Oh sure, we might anticipate the occasional knucklehead that might chime in and then realize that he’s projecting some deep insecurities, and then back out post haste. But how has this divisive homosexual clown been so persistent? And why did we entertain his projections as if he had something to say? I’ve had sufficient exposure to Europeans and Asians to observe that expressive kindness between father and son is actually quite normal – and no, they do not go on to become homosexuals. What part of the world does Mr “Hardcore Heterosexuality” [sic] comes from, exactly? I thought Americans were over this crap. Though I understand that a couple of states in the US might still harbour the occasional redneck from the Ozark mountains.

    • Nergal

      I used to live in the Ozark mountains. They’re actually quite “progressive” for rednecks, they hate everybody,lol.

      The real hardcore gay bashers come from the Panhandle,Mississippi, and Kentucky. I’ve lived in all of those places too.

  • BobbyL

    Remember gentlemen that the government sends agents into forums to create discord and dilute the focus of the participants.”Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive” certainly posts in the style of one of these. This site will now be on the hit list for drawing a parallel between feminism and the police state(which is exactly right!)

  • http://avoiceformen.com Paul Elam

    Now that Pootie and the Blow Hards have left the building, I want just say I really enjoyed this piece. It takes true skill with the pen to make brevity so potent.

    Great job, Mr. Merrick.

    • Eff’d Off

      “Pootie and the Blow Hards”

      That’s funny as hell, where do you come up with this shit – love it.