Was Jesus a Mangina?

I have to confess up front that I am an atheist. But I also want to qualify that by saying I am not the kind of evangelical, nutcase atheist that religiously dedicates his life to condemning anything Christian.

I am living proof that NAAALT.

In fact, I am more than a little impressed by the story of Jesus Christ as told in the Bible, and for whatever it lacks in historical accuracy I find it rich in wisdom, humanity and inspiration.

The Jesus of the Bible was the kind of man I would like to be, but I know I am forever doomed to falling short of that desire.

That being said, one of the constant themes I find in The Gospel and indeed throughout modern religious organizations is a tremendous disconnect between the life and teachings of Jesus and almost everything his followers, then and now, actually do.

One of the more glaring examples of that are the religiously dogmatic men that inhabit the modern church.  If these clones are followers of Christ, then the Son of God must have been the biggest mangina that ever lived.

The mentality and beliefs they present to the culture of their congregations reflect the new scriptural paradigm, “For God so loved the world, that he gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever worships Woman should not perish, but have everlasting female approval, and be a real man.”

It is true. The church, long vilified and demonized for being the primary source of misogyny and patriarchy, is actually quite the opposite.  It is little more than a coercive training ground for the indentured servants to the Divine Vagina.

Above almost all other social entities, religious men rank at the very top in the dogma of mindless male servitude.  And while there may well have been a time when the adherence to this position was practical, even laudable, the time for it has passed.  Someone should pass that message around in the church and dole out some common sense at the same time.

Let’s look, for example, at a nifty little website called Top-Christians.com.

On their “good husbands” page, they gift us with all the standard advice; protect your wife; be prepared to die for her.  But ah, in the modern, enlightened church, there is so much more to learn.  Top Christians also advises men to “submit” to their wives.  Yes, submit.  It is right out of scripture, they assure us. But of course it doesn’t stop there.

At Top Christians, the modern version of Our Lady of the Unrelenting Vagina, we have even more advice, bellowed from the pulpit of Dr. Phil.

The following is the complete text from their “Spend Time Together,” section. Res ipsa loquitur fully applies:

When you spend time with your wife, don’t talk about work!

Or golf.

Or cars.

Or any other thing that interests you.

If you really want to put your wife first, then you have to talk about the things that interest her!

What’s that? You don’t know what her interests are?

Ah, exactly my point!!

You have been so self-centred that you don’t even know what your wife is interested in. Shame on you!!

If that is true of you, then now is the time to start changing it.

And don’t get all upset if she doubts your intentions. Or if she suspects that you have been guilty of something (like sleeping with her best friend).

If you suddenly start acting differently – especially if such actions are so “unlike” you – she is likely to get suspicious.

Start by telling her that you want to change and that you want to start putting her first.

Ask her what would make her happy, “because I want to start doing those things”.

After the initial shock (and even doubt) she will be delighted when she discovers that you are really serious.

She’ll see that you really want to be a good husband to her, and she’ll love you for it.

Just keep at it. Get out of that comfort zone of yours, and start living a life of fulfilment with the wife that God has given you.

I guarantee you it will be a terrific journey!

Just FYI, the bold print is theirs. I didn’t even correct their typos.

It seems whoever penned this looked at the image of Christ on the cross and saw not the Son of God, but the Son of Oprah, and then obediently delivered a satanic dose of shame to any man foolish enough to listen.

Is this an isolated point of view in western churches?

Hardly.

Churches have followed the same exact path of governments, institutions of higher education and the media over the past 50 years. In other words, they have become watered down, feminized incarnations of their former selves. In doing so, they have sent one resounding message about their views on the life and death of Jesus Christ.

They don’t give a shit about it and likely never did.

Whatever Christ means to these self-loathing, feminist quislings doesn’t have the substance of a research paper on the wage gap funded by N.O.W…  Their faith was sold out to pop psychology, pop culture and feminist fundamentalism a long time ago.

You may be asking at this point, what does any of this really have to do with the biblical Jesus?

And it is a fair question; the answer to which is nothing.

The Jesus I read about in the Holy Bible would not have put up with this shit for a minute.  When the money lenders took over and defiled His temple, the Jesus I read about put a boot in their sorry asses and sent them running into the street for their lives.

The Jesus I read about defied every powerful, corrupt hypocrite in His world to speak the truth.

The Jesus I read about died for it without backing down.

But that was just the Jesus of The Bible.  He never really has been the Jesus that most Christians believe in.  Hell, He even spent the last three years of his life telling His own apostles that they didn’t understand a word He was saying. And true to form, Christians have been emulating them, not Him, ever since.

If that is not true, someone please tell me of any Christian organization in this country, or across the western world, that is even making a peep about men being robbed of authority in their own lives, much less the authority in their families.

Please point to one church that is standing up and telling their congregations that this claptrap emanating from Top Christians and a thousand other places like it is a load of garbage.

Just one will do.

I am waiting.

And so, perhaps, is Jesus Christ.

Whether He was a real man and The son of God, or just a magnificent and instructive metaphor for the pinnacle of human actualization, He was not a mangina.

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