Loving Father Holding Young Son

Why I REFUSE to pay child support

When people ask me how can I be divorced with two children and pay no child support, I tell them I took a cue from Nancy Reagan; I “just said no.”

I took the road less traveled. One that more men should be allowed to travel.

For the past 13 years, I have been fortunate to be a full-time musician. Since the time of our daughter’s birth in 2003, I was at home with her during the day and working at night. Three years before my marriage ended, my wife and I agreed to switch roles. In order to make this arrangement work, I was extremely ambitious and found a way to work a 9-5 job as well as teach, perform in an Off-Broadway show and perform in weddings and corporate events. I paid all the bills while she took care of our daughter.

After two years of trying to fit back into the corporate world, I noticed a lack of communication between my wife and I. My focus was on our family; her attention appeared to be on the social calendar. My frustration with what seemed to be a lop-sided allocation of duties in our home-made for several stress filled months. Not only was I the sole breadwinner, I took care of many of the duties at home. The birth of our second child only intensified the tension in our home.

Working a full time job, gigs and doing much of the house work burnt me out so I quit my corporate job. Meanwhile my wife was unwilling to continue the therapy sessions we’d set up to find a way to repair our marriage. She hired an attorney and filed for divorce.

Our custody battle began in Family Court. During our first hearing, I received a court order for spousal support, which stated I was to continue paying all the bills until our case went to Supreme Court. On top of paying the household expenses, I had to pay my ex an additional $500 cash each month. I was furious. I questioned why I was responsible for everything and my wife was only responsible for being with the children.

Soon after filing, my wife began using the children as pawns. She filled the kid’s day with play dates, and after one of our many heated arguments, took the kids to her mother’s home in another state for two weeks so I could not see them. In addition to the attempts at alienating me from my children, my wife called the police after several arguments in futile attempts to have me vacate the marital residence and be thrown in jail. Luckily for me she was never psychotic enough to hurt herself or abuse the criminal justice system’s bias against men.

When our case was transferred to New York State Supreme Court, things began to change. A few months into our dispute I received an unlikely source of inspiration. My family had given me a father’s day gift certificate to a men’s spa. Here is where I received life-changing advice from a female staff member who’d gone through a divorce several years before. She and her former spouse had mutually agreed that their son be raised by his father. She informed me that in New York State, couples had the option to “opt out” of paying child support upon dissolution of marriage. I immediately called my attorney and told him I wanted to do just that: opt out.

I must acknowledge one piece of the puzzle that gave me a slight advantage that no one has today. At the time of my lawsuit, New York was the last state who hadn’t adopted no-fault laws. This gave me leverage that no one can use in court today. Now, everyone is at the mercy of their spouse and can’t contest their divorce. In fact, most people have no idea that your spouse can file for divorce for any reason and not have to prove why they want out of the marriage. This is a real disadvantage for the monied spouse in my state because the custodial parent gains an advantage with the child support guidelines. The spouse who makes more money is ordered to pay the non-custodial parent.

At the time, my attorney and I decided to contest my ex’s grounds for divorce. We were willing to compel her to tell the truth under oath. My ex would have perjured herself in court since there were several inconsistencies in her sworn deposition. Her attorney decided it would be unwise for her to proceed in that manner. This was the turning point that forced a settlement.

After 11 months in and out of court, we agreed that my parenting time would take place during the day; hers at night and that no one would pay child support. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I walked out of the courtroom secure in the knowledge that I could financially support our two children in a way that made much more sense to me. I did not succumb to the societal pressure to pay an ex-wife, child or spousal support because men have historically done so.

I’m not sure many men have the testicular fortitude to endure the pain it takes to achieve this goal today. Particularly since the avenue I pursued is now closed off to men in the family court’s crusade against fatherhood. I certainly thought of giving up but never did. I was also determined to get the court to understand the seriousness of my desire to be a fully committed parent and I was willing to go through the financial expense of seeing it through.

During my custody battle, I came to a deeper understanding how the courts system works and how the law applied in my particular case. I persevered by demonstrating that I was rational, reasonable, and always focused on the best interest of my children. Instead of relying solely on my attorney’s advice and historical precedent, I saw the bigger picture and thought long term.

I used several tactics to my advantage. I never left or was forced out of our marital residence, I managed to avoid physical altercations by keeping my emotions in check as much as possible, avoided being taken to jail by the NYPD by calmly explaining my side of the story and kept my focus by remaining totally devoted to my two children. I always took the high road and never talked badly about my ex to our children, no matter how tempting. I still don’t-she is the mother of our kids. They love her just as much as they love me.

I know all too well the stories of men who get taken advantage of by unscrupulous attorneys who don’t offer alternatives and other potential options their clients can pursue. State ordered child support should only be enforced when a spouse chooses to abdicate the responsibility of raising their children. There is no excuse for a parent to abandon their children. In my subsequent research, I have discovered that many fathers do not want to leave their children. Many times they are FORCED out.

Mandatory arrests laws that were written to protect women over the years have often been abused and are at times used to force fathers from the home straight into jail. This, in conjunction with punitive child support orders and the threat of imprisonment if it isn’t paid have been just a few of the reasons for the increase of widespread fatherlessness over the past 40 years.

The threat of divorce, child support orders or jail should ever stop a devoted father from having a healthy relationship with his children. No one should have the right to deny that important relationship unless there are serious criminal matters and there is due process.

Today it seems that many women intentionally abuse a system that was set up in the 1950’s and 1960’s to assist with the necessary expenses of child rearing for children that both parents gave consent to have. Now that women have joined the workforce in unprecedented numbers–and birth control frees them from the constraints they were otherwise under–it makes little sense to keep men stuck back in an era that has long passed. Women don’t want to go back to that era-men don’t either. If times have progressed for women, why are men forced to stay in the past?

I have seen many cases where spousal and/or child support is automatically assumed to be part of divorce even though it may be unwarranted, and most attorneys don’t even discuss potential options for their clients. I truly feel that men who desire to be a part of their children’s lives need not pay their future ex-wife at all.

My ex wife and I, more often than not, peacefully co-exist without a state ordered child or spousal support. I must emphasize this particular point: if anyone chooses the road I took, it requires a lifelong commitment of taking care of your children – something that unfortunately, most men today are not even given an opportunity to do.

I feel the default option in custody cases should be joint legal and physical custody with no court ordered child support absent a strong reason. Start with a 50/50 split of parenting time with the children. If that can’t happen and money needs to be transferred, the person receiving the funds needs to be held accountable for how the money is being spent. As it stand now, there is no way to account for how the funds are being used for the children.

The more often we keep the filthy claws of state and federal government out of our lives, the better. Once they get in, they never let go. The formation of the family court system, the state and federal offices of child support enforcement and all of the affiliated positions associated with it, has resulted in the creation of a massive state controlled Industry whose sole function is to affect the massive transfer of wealth from the father to the mother. The increase in state intrusion in our personal lives coupled with the culture of entitlement and unreasonable expectations currently embedded in our public consciousness, creates a system that feeds upon itself. It appears that this former government safety net has turned into a spider web. Eventually it will bleed fathers dry and the real victims will be their children.

When there are two loving parents that want to be actively involved in their children’s lives after divorce, there is no need to travel down the expected path of family court and mandatory child and/or spousal support. Women can learn from my story and understand that just because you may no longer love the father of your kids, your children do. Children need their mother AND father. Find a way to stay out of that hell hole they loosely call “Family Court.” I am living proof that there is another way.

For father’s day, give your ex the gift of letting him be a father.


About Clayton Craddock

Clayton Craddock is a dedicated father, a consultant for divorcing fathers, a social reformer, and advocate for fathers' rights (and especially those of their children).

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  • http://www.avoiceformen.com August Løvenskiolds

    A breathtaking article, and perfect for Father’s Day. Well done, Clayton.

  • JFinn

    People don’t want to learn from your story. People want to create more and more fatherless children. Learning from your story would force people to view you as a human being,

    I feel the default option in custody cases should be joint legal and physical custody with no court ordered child support absent a strong reason. Start with a 50/50 split of parenting time with the children

    This is what people especially hate: equality. Agreed with every word.

    • lorial

      Should it be joint if the father was not involved until he discovered he’d have to pay child support?

  • Bombay

    Even with a 50/50 custody, the person who makes more can be forced to pay the other. Without a child support order to the effect that neither one pays the other, the woman can nail your for retroactive support.

  • Keith

    I couldn’t agree more Clayton. It’s time to remove the extortion from family law and allow the natural progression of attachment between children and both of their fore-bearers. Anything less is a crime against life, existence and breathing. This single issue is reason enough to dismantle the western world and the whores that govern it.

  • kaazzii

    Here in Australia, even if one has 50/50 split, the person who earns more pays a % of child support. It is very rare for spousal maintence. I am a women who has in previous years paid child support when I left my ex – due to emotional, some physical and other abuses. To begin with he had 85% care as at the time I was in the defence force (and so was he) but I had to find accomodation, furnish the house before the kids could come to me. I have been thru the court system and HATED every minute of it, having the children subjected to psychologists that twist and turn information.. even my kids said.. hey mum they only said a part of what I said…
    When I had joint custody, 1 week with me, 1 week with him – it was stipulated I had to reside within a certain distance of where he was. But the kids were happy, and so was I. But I know I am from a very small % of the other sex how has paid C.S so I totally understand everything that the men go thru.

  • Jay

    “The more often we keep the filthy claws of state and federal government out of our lives, the better.” Couldn’t agree more. And that’s why I’m on the MHRM train – and also to call out the feminazi.

  • neochronoandero Reeves

    To all Americans (and people in Western Jusisictions) –

    1. Iran arrests and imprisons 20,000 people every year without trial. Iran is a state of tyranny.

    2. US imprisons 400,000 people a year without due process for non-payment of child suport. US is an egalitarian state.

    Wov!!! What logic.

    Guys, don’t marry. Don’t have children, Don’t have sex in Western Jurisdiction.

    Go to Thailand/Singapore for sex. Else, climb on one of the sex-boats – Egyptian ships which take you 50+ miles out of sea and is considered Egyptian jurisdiction. Use sex toys, playboy and sex VRs

    Don’t have children in Western Jurisdiction. Have them in Eastern Jurisdiction through surrogate wombs.

    Pay small donations to organizations devloping artificial wombs.

    Every month, put yoiur savings in offshore trust funds. Even Prez cannot touch them

    Be prepared to go to prison.

    Now wait – for the cruel hand of Adam Smith to strike.

  • Tamerlame

    Real victims are the children? No, no, no, no. MEN ARE THE PRIMARY VICTIMS!

    As men we got to think about how things affect us, it is the men who are getting destroyed.

    Sick of this women and children first bullshit. If the women is hold the kids welfare hostage, that is the women’s fault.

    • aimeemcgee

      Tamerlane, children are victims of a system where they have no choices, they suffer the loss of contact.
      If you want to get support for presumed 50:50 custody, you have to frame the argument in the best interest of the child. It sucks but that’s the reality

      • http://gravatar.com/coltov coltov

        it’s kind of obvious that children should have unfettered access to both their parents whether or not the parents are married. The best framework that supports that is a 50-50 split. Once the children can orbit both parents without pre-arranged scheduling and without one parent fearing the other will leverage the changing percentages in court, kids can have a equally good “quality” relationship with both their parents regardless of the exact quantity.

      • http://tenfoured.info/ HeligKo

        The “Best Interest Of The Children” is whatever the court or politician wants it to be. The children don’t have a Constitutional right to their best interests being honored, but it sounds like a great idea to most. The parents do have a protected right to parent their children unhindered by government restrictions. The family court is creating abandoned children out of thin air to do what they are doing. As minors, children’s civil rights are protected through the parents. Its is the parents’ civil rights that should be being protected in all courts that deal with family issues, and they are not. Once a court expert or GAL start making parenting judgement or decisions both parents have lost their parenting rights, but only one usually feels it, because the other one is being supported as the more right parent under the “Best Interest Of The Child.”

  • http://tenfoured.blog.com HeligKo

    I am 100% agreement. Child support should be removed from the default path of divorce. It should be assumed that there is Equal parenting time, joint-legal custody, and I would argue that 50/50 split of expenses, but a split based on income would be better than it is now.

    • darrarizer

      As a woman who has had her ex withold her child and pays child support to a man who makes 6x what she does, I could not agree more!

  • trish meissner

    It takes 2 to have a child and it takes a village to raise one. This is why for the best interest of the child the parent that no longer lives with the family should pay if the income is greater than the one left. To be a mother in this world is hard enough. Never mind the single mother. Over and Over again women are shot down. We are not manipulative and evil we just simply have to take over the emotional and physical well being of the child most of the time. I have no time for women haters. We carried these children and men should step up to the plate so to speak. We don’t need more court dates we need more support for mothers who care.

    • Carlos

      Thank you for sharing your steaming pile of bullshit with the rest of the class.

      • ashleeraina

        Her point is a bit off but I understand both sides really. I know plenty of women just out for money and that is so sad. And I know plenty of men who dont pay their stuff for stupid reasons. Im a single mother of a darling little girl, the father of whom is not around but is paying child support not my wishes at all. He didnt want to see her nor did he ask a thing anout her after countless attempts from me. Now after 4 years he is “demanding” that she stays with him for 2 weeks. I dont feel comfortable with that for the simple fact that he has not once tried to fix anything he even denied paternity. I would just like it if he would sign over his rights that way he wouldnt be paying for the child he doesnt want and I can continue to raise her. It may seem selfish but her best interests are living with me.

    • Fredrik

      Let’s play Guess the Number! What percentage of separated men with estranged children would rather be single fathers, even with no support from the mother, if only they were allowed? I promise I won’t cheat with Google or anything. My guess is 80%.

    • Kimski

      “To be a mother in this world is hard enough.”

      You know, this may come as a huge surprise, but in a world so massively overpopulated that large numbers of children are dying from starvation every second somewhere, you actually have a choice NOT to have any.
      In fact you have SEVERAL choices, even from before conceiving.

      Yeah, thought that would throw you off for a bit, there..-But seeing that having a child is ultimately the woman’s final decision, wouldn’t it then be fair to also expect her to live up to the responsibility of such a choice?

      Especially if she chooses to divorce the father, and not allowing him to be part of the child’s life, for whatever damned reason that might please her?

    • http://gravatar.com/mragh MRA Greatest Hits / Encyclopedia MRA

      Reading your stale old misandric garbage makes me want to yell obscenities at you. However my resolution to not entertain the sexist drivel of fools is something I intend to stick to. Suffice to say I hope you go publish your bullshit somewhere else, you have the whole rest of the world where this shit fits right in yet you feel to dump it here.

    • http://gravatar.com/coltov coltov

      speaking as a caring, responsible father deprived of his child by both her mother and the courts, I think that you are missing most of the picture. The only plate that men need to step up to is to actually care for their children rather to than pay some prostitute to do it for them.

  • yinyangbalance

    “There is no excuse for a parent to abandon their children.”

    I support this. However, I want to point out that this attitude goes against the grain of this website. Luckily AVFM does not silence me. Many MRA’s, instead of demanding women be just as responsible for their children as men are forced to, want to advocate equal IRRESPONSIBILITY that mothers enjoy. I dont support that. Just ask JTO or Paul, they think Fathers have the right to opt out of fatherhood. Hmmm. Yea I said it, bring on the down votes.

    I’m a single father as well, I had to battle the California courts. I actually GET child support now and I actually have physical shared custody of my child.

    If you produce a child, you are responsible for it. We should not admire women’s scape goats, we should not advocate the power to murder children either (abortion). This goes against AVFM, but AVFM lets me do it (unlike Feminism) so I will not remain silent about it..

    I dont even want to get into adoption either. Adoption is something that should arise out of very complicated situations, and should ONLY be used when a parent CANT be a parent besides making arrangements for the child to be cared for in their absence. Adoption is a form of responsibility being handed off to a trusted individual. Having this idea that one day any parent can wake up one day and decide “I’m going to adopt you out because I’m tired of you” is absolutely wrong.

  • kurt

    No fault divorce has been a disaster for men because no fault divorce really means ‘mens fault’ in practice. why would women initiate about 70% of divorces if they weren’t so sure they would do so well out of it?

  • SomebodysMom

    To the fathers commenting and the one who so passionately wrote this post… Until you are a mother you will not know what it takes to be one so your perception is limited in that regard and it is important to be aware of that. I am a mother of a bright eyed little girl who turned 4 this year. Her father and I are divorced and YES I filed for divorce. 1st let me address the “no fault” issue… We are divorced citing irreconcilable differences and “no fault” however due to him having a child outside of our marriage YES I divorced him. Now I didn’t need a reason nor does any man or woman who wants out of a marriage they may one day feel they no longer want to be in. So any men on here bitching about wives leaving husbands as if husbands don’t leave wives all the time… MAN UP! If she no longer wants to be with you no need to be bitter about it!

    Now on to the issue of child support. I believe that child support makes parents responsible and more conscious of what it really takes to raise a child.

    Here is my story…
    During my divorce I did not see a need to pursue child support because my ex who owns his own business and grosses 400k+ a year from said business has always been the bread winner in the home. He has always taken care of the financial aspect of the household without fail and I assumed he would continue to take care of our daughter in the same manner he had before. We moved to separate residences and I footed all of my own bills. At the time my daughter was just a few months old and constantly needed milk, pampers, clothing, daycare expenses. Daycare alone was $276 a week. I went her entire first year calling and chasing behind her father to help me with her expenses. In her first year he gave me a total of $500. Again daycare alone was $276 a week. His contribution was not enough to cover 2 full weeks of daycare. At any rate I made sure what she needed I provided. He saw her every now and again and was paying really NO money to support her financially.

    Now in order to understand what happened next you must first understand that a child does not need to be supported today alone but for 18 years. When my daughter turned one I spoke to a close friend about the troubles I was having getting the father to step up and their words hit me like a ton of bricks… “You are neglecting your child!” What she meant was by not making her father step up financially I am neglecting the needs of my child. I couldn’t expect him to reason as I did because he was not with her day in and day out.
    He didn’t know what she needed. And like most non-custodial parents they do not know what it takes financially, mentally, or physically to raise a child. I took him up for child support. Of course he was angry, of course he tried to make me feel like I was robbing him but I wasn’t operating emotionally I was being smart. I was securing my daughters future. After all, how could I be robbing someone who in 1 year only contributed $500 when he made $400k+? So spare me the BS that fathers want to be a part of their child’s life but the child support won’t let him… Fact is there are a lot more that skate by doing nothing for their children until someone takes them up for child support. And if a man stops seeing his child because he has to pay child support then he should not be allowed to be a father. Period! You don’t stop appreciating the life you helped create because of money. That’s a no brainer!

    For me it was much more than milk and at times fathers do not understand that you have to be conscious of the future. To him it was ridiculous because all she needed was milk and diapers. To me it was necessary because she would one day be entering into private school, then she’d be going off to college. Maybe she will need braces. My daughter starts school at Collegiate next year. It’s 18k a year. Sure, I can afford this on my own but why on earth should I have to? When we were together we discussed private school and both were in agreement now that we aren’t together why should she have any less than when we were? A woman does not have to stay with a man but a man does have to take care of his children!

    • http://shiningpearlsofsomething.blogspot.com Suzanne McCarley

      ” Until you are a mother father you will not know what it takes to be one so your perception is limited in that regard and it is important to be aware of that.”

      Your anecdote is not data, but thanks so much for your gynocentric contribution. Obviously no one here has ever heard that revolutionary new perspective.

    • darrarizer

      Then why not LET him be primary custodian, so he can “see what it’s like”? You fail to see that he was not given the option.

  • shmiggen

    I’ve given no fault divorce a lot of thought and I don’t think its possible to get rid of it. If two people hate each other, better to let them go their separate ways.

    However, as most divorce filers are women, and they receive cash and prizes for doing so, I would simply augment no fault divorce so that the one who initiates the divorce forfeits all future cash and prizes. No child support, no assets, no vehicles, no house.

    I agree that a man should pay child support, but if his wife leaves him and he doesn’t want to dissolve the marriage but stick it out…well, that changes things. A man like this should not be coerced by the state into paying for a family he cannot have.

    • missjd1

      Shmiggen, what about the case of abusive marriages? Marriages that are physically, mentally or emotionally abusive where the abused spouse finally gets a back bone and files for divorce. Or what about a spouse who constally cheats on his wife (or vice-versa). According to your theory sposes in these circumstances should stay and make the marriage work because the other spouse wants to? And if a spouse decides that they do not wish to work it out that spouse forfeits child support? That makes no sense. BTW, I dont see it as paying for a family he cannot have. I see it as taking care of the resposibility he took part in creating.

  • darrarizer

    There are women being abused with the burden of child support also, while I agree with your post, do not assume that men are the only ones who pay. My ex makes $60 an hour while I make $10, but he could afford a better lawyer, so…

  • lorial

    You are missing the spirit of child support. Child support is a parent’s obligation to provide for the child so that the child is able to live a similar lifestyle in each parents’ home. Child support is not for a man to pay a woman or for a woman to pay a man. Child support is the higher wage earner’s obligation, so that the child will be able to enjoy a similar lifestyle in each home. Like so many men, you think you are paying your ex.

    • https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Voice-for-Men/102001393188684 Paul Elam

      And you are missing a badly needed connection to reality. There is no apparatus in place in any state to ensure that CS monies benefit the child. It is money paid to the ex, which she (and in most cases it is a she) can spend however she pleases.

      Being based on income, it also means that in many cases CS is far in excess of the child’s actual needs. Thus it is a personal windfall for the ex.

      The child, in any case, should be limited to the lifestyle the custodial parent can provide after its basic needs are taken care of when primary custody is awareded. By basic needs, I am talking about food, shelter, medical care, etc. The idea of the “similar lifestyle” standard is a corrupt joke. No non custodial parent should be forced to pay for more than children’s basic needs and that is in the worst case scenario. Hint: A pink Iphone should not be acquired via state force.

      In the proper dissolution of a marriage, both parents would have equal access to the child and would continue to make voluntary lifestyle decisions, not be forced into those decisions on the whim of one parent.

      Quit hiding behind the supposed best interest of the child in order rationalize thievery. It is disgusting and immoral.

    • http://tenfoured.info/ HeligKo

      When child support is paid in my case, my ex has the net household income equivalent to someone that earns $110K/year, and I have the net household income equivalent to someone who earns $30K/year. This hardly creates a situation where the children enjoy similar lifestyles in each home, which is a premise that isn’t supported by the law in most states. The origin of child support is that the father has abandoned the child and the state has been responsible for the child and is collecting what is owed to them. My children have a much better lifestyle at their mother’s house at my expense. I won’t even accuse her of not spending the money for the children’s benefit, but my children get to see her spend money on their needs and wants, and see me not do so, because I don’t have the money to do so. Then they are also told on a regular basis how much more money I make than her, so as to reinforce the idea I am choosing to not spend my money on them. Child support is also the primary driver in custody litigation. If the money didn’t come and go with time, then most parents would simply figure out what works for their family. The money being a huge motivator drags on litigation and increases animosity.

    • Unreal

      “Child support is a parent’s obligation to provide for the child so that the child is able to live a similar lifestyle in each parents’ home. Child support is not for a man to pay a woman or for a woman to pay a man.”

      This seems to be the prevailing attitude. People would rather let their children do without just to screw over their ex or not be inconvenienced and have to change their lifestyle.

    • James

      You are absolutely insane. As someone who has experienced the CS system and have several friends who have / had experienced it I can say this: There is no way for the kids to have a similar lifestyle in each parents home when the father is paying out of his butt in support. I cannot prove this but I would be willing to bet that if you took a cross section of all of the women receiving child support you would see that their standard of living is much higher than the man paying it. Speaking personally child support caused me enormous financial hardship for many years. All the while my ex is popping out more kids, going on vacations multiple times a year, building a new home, etc etc etc. My ex currently doesn’t work and I am blessed to have done better financially in the last 5 years but I know her husband does not make more than I do yet if they spent what I pay for my daughter each month on each of their three kids they would not be able to live. The system is upset down and your view is naive, idealistic, and unrealistic.

  • daddy7777777

    Right on brother! Catchy title of article caught my attention; however, it is actually a sweet and loving (and informative) article. Women think they can file for divorce get the kids and a nice cash prize; however, that’s not fair to kids or men.

    80 % of all prison inmates are fatherless and 75% of all divorces are initiated by women! Do the math, the cash prize helps fill the prisons. Government in our lives creating more government in our lives.

    The family law system is a joke, but it seems to be changing. Women want equality except when it’s convenient for them to claim otherwise. The 1950s are over let each person parent and provide. No more “check writers” which are fathers that don’t see their kids but just pay for their loads SO sad no dad!

  • letsalldoourpart

    It sounds like a lot of excuses being thrown to see what sticks. Everyone is too worried about what is best for them, not the child(ren) involved. You can never be wrong and it is always everyone else’s fault for everything bad that has ever happened to you. Women do have the choice to abort if they wish to end an innocent life (are you saying that you wish your children were aborted?). Before that though, men have the choice to use a condom. Take some responsibility! It takes 2 people to make a baby. Once a baby is born, it is time to grow up and be responsible. No more jam sessions…take care of your child. You will go nowhere in this world if you do not start taking responsibility for what YOU do.

  • Elvis C Martinez

    Currently I am going through a divorce in New York City, and fighting for custody of my 9 year old son. my son means everything to me, and we have always had a close and special relationship. At this point I have spent close to $30,000 in legal fees, not including child support. My wife not only had an affair with her classmate while i was supporting putting her through school, yet also took my son to her lovers house one evening after I came home. Since the day the divorce papers were filed by my wife, I have committed to have primary custody of my son, and ensure he is a loving stable home. Since all the legal fees started to build up, i lost my apartment, and barely have money to live my life. At this point the court require me to give my wife child support because she has our son 51% and i have him 49%. I have been poorly guided by the lawyer i had a first, and now i am struggling to keep my legal fight going on. My ex feels the court will support her, mainly because she does not do drugs, does not physically abuse our son, and does not drink. Yet i have always been a loving supportive father, always placing his kids before himself. As my wife went to school, i did home work with our son and step son, cooked dinner and took care of our kids. In almost 3 years i have yet to have any form of Justice for me or my son. My rights as a father have been robbed, and abused. Many times i have felt defeated , yet my love for my son is beyond words. I committed to always be there for him , guide him and protect him. My ex has lost sight of our son’s best interest, and became selfish. I have become only a cash machine for my ex, yet she fails to see its our son that only suffers. I fight for Fathers like me that love their kids, and will not allow the unfair injustice of the legal system to silence my voice. I am working hard everyday to share my story. I would love advice or any form of guidance and support in my battle for a Fathers Rights. http://www.gofundme.com/55pa7w

  • Frank Marian Frank Marian

    My name is John Sheri i’m from California i have been married for 4years and i have a break up with my husband 3months ago and i was worried and so confuse because i love him so much. i was really going too depressed and a friend directed me to this spell caster Dr. Laco and i made all my problems known to him and he told me not to worry that he was going to make my husband to come back to me and in just 48hours i receive a call from my husband and he was appealing that i should come back to the house. i have never in my life believe in spell and but now it have just helped me and i am now so happy. All Thanks to him and if you also want to have your Husband back to yourself here !! his email Address lacopowerfulspellcaster@yahoo.com i am so happy to testify of your work and kindness.

  • Torg

    This article should be critical reading for any young Man looking to get into a traditional marriage and kids situation with the average American woman.


    I’m PROPHET OKIJO from Nigeria am 63 years old with 4 children graduated from the mental universe of Indian plant 1981st Was i bought my mental powers and particularism worries me is the mental powers, I help people to solve problems around the world to achieve their goals and dreams in the world, I have another temple, and they are located in India, Ghana, Israel, the Philistines , I am currently in Nigeria was my first temple is because, in case you want to reach me, it is my home address PROPHET OKIJO way Lugard str. Lagos State of Nigeria, or you want to contact me through my personal email (prophetokijofiretemple@gmail.com) Notice that if you have been searching for any kind of spiritual help, for example. Making quick money, promotion of employment, political forces, plant care, looking for children, supernatural powers and more (your destiny lies in your hand) to watch you at the welcome …..

    1.Ritual (making quick money)?

    2.Join the new world Order (ILLUMINATI)

    3.You wish handsome boy or girl of your dreams you find him or her?

    4.ex back (his beloved escaped from you)?

    5.Herbal care?

    6.need their money back?

    7.looking For children?

    8.spiritual problem?

    9.political powers?

    10.need protection?

    Email: prophetokijofiretemple@gmail.com

  • driversuz

    Yes we all know that NAWALT, and a small minority of fathers are deadbeats. That doesn’t excuse a family court system that discriminates against all fathers and doesn’t ensure that mothers use child support for their children. Your personal experience is not typical, but you probably don’t know that because you’ve never noticed all the fathers who willingly and proudly support their children.

  • http://tenfoured.blog.com HeligKo

    I don’t give f*ck who the primary caregiver is in marriage. Marriage was a deal that has been broken. A stay at home parent is a luxury of marriage for most people. The court should not have to settle a he said/she said argument over who was the primary caretaker. I could make a good argument for being an equal caretaker. Who was the primary caretaker in a marriage doesn’t really give an indication of who would be a better sole caretaker. The end result of the current paradigm is only the child’s rights matter, and one parent is made the caretaker of those rights at the expense of the other parent’s rights. We are creating second class citizens through our children. If a parent wants to see his/her kids simply to lower child support in the current paradigm, then I see nothing wrong with that. Ultimately the parent child relationship is allowed to develop for the better or worse based on contact not loss of contact. Motivation shouldn’t matter. In my state the CP vs the NCP is largely defined by income. You almost automatically become the NCP(2nd class) by earning more money. What I find even sadder is in court the children are treated as a liability. If one parent takes the liability, the other is responsible for compensating them for that. The children should be treated as an asset, and the parent who gets less time with their children should be compensated for that loss of time. Now that would be a paradigm shift.

  • inlineturbo

    I am another victim of this train wreck of a law in Ontario, I was a recent graduate looking for a job with still outstanding education debt. The mother of my child and I broke up and she would not let me see my child for 2 years, I managed to graduate and then went to her door to server her with court papers, she phoned the police and alleged I was there to kill her, the waterloo regional police marked it as a false allegation and told me I could not serve her the court papers, even though the court told me I could. The layers also told me I had rights to serve her. I got a friend to serve her, went to court, and she hired this brutal nasty lawyer in Kitchener called Jane Mckenzie, she filed all these false allegations against me demanding full custody and no access and a restraining order, I had no money and did not know my rights, I borred some money and hired this lawyer Luba in Cambridge, she claimed she knew Jane and would fix things, but later told me I would have to get off welfare and get a job, since I would have to pay child support either way, I was very distressed and followed her advise, her BAD advise. I took a crappy job I did not like, not in my field of study, working at dangerous hights, 2 months later the lawyer had used up all my money just sending emails back and forth to the lawyer. 6 months later I still had not seen my daughter, I fired this lawyer after losing over $4000 and about $1200 in child support, went to duty counsel and told them the situation, after 3 months they got me supervised access, for every other week for 2 hours, then later I saw duty counsel again and asked for more access, the mother and jane tried to say that I would brake the childs neck (nasty minds they got) the judge said that would not happen and i was granted unsupervised visits every other saturday and sunday and every wednesday. I spoke to another duty counsel during a settlement conference that didn’t do anything to fight for shared custody, she said she had too many cases that just and just pushed me to sign the agreement the opposing lawyer made, giving her sole custody and ordering me to pay child support. I am very pissed off, i cam to this country to make a living and live a happy life, not be distresses knowing the mother of my child could take my child and dissapear, not knowing where she will end up, where she will goto school, who she will hangout with, NOTHING! and I have to pay the mother! What happens if i lose my job! What happens if I want to get married and buy a house! WHY CAN I NOT HAVE SHARED CUSTODY OF MY CHILD! 50/50 THIS IS MY CHILD AS MUCH AS IT IS THE MOTHERS CHILD. WE ARE BOTH EQUALLY ENTITLED TO SUPPORT THIS CHILD.. NOT ONE PERSON PAYS AND OTHER PERSON GETS CUSTODY AND ALL THE AWESOMENESS. THIS IS DESIGNED TO MAKE THE PARENTS ENEMIES AND DISTRESS THE CHILD WHO WISHES TO LIVE WITH ME!


    • http://www.avoiceformen.com/ DannyboyCdnMra

      I understand your anguish and pain at the injustices currently being waged in the legal system (both criminal and family courts) at the behest of feminism.
      I would also like to let you know that you are not alone.

      You are not alone in your pain for I and many others feel it too.

      You are not alone in your righteous indignation at the injustices inflicted on men and their children by the very same courts that are legally mandated to act in the best interest of the child.

      You are not alone in the pursuit of justice for you and your child.

      You are not alone in the plight end men from being treated / viewed as second class citizens by society and the courts.

      You sir are one of many.

      One of legion who are no longer willing to remain silent at injustices inflicted at the behest of feminism.

      I would like to ask you a few questions about your situation.

      Please email me at;

  • Frodo

    You have been banned because of a serious and direct violation of Comment Policy (spam). [Ref: 1818]

    Additional remarks:


  • Lorem Ipsum

    The only thing more unwise for a human male than marriage at this moment in time-space continuum is having children. Sooner or later all human males will be aware of how detrimental marriage and procreation have become to those with a penis, and will refuse to accept what amounts to serfdom to the opposite gender. Human females will eventually have to resort to artificial insemination if theydesire to procreate because most men will be opting for vasectomies. Also, women will eventually be left to provide for their fatherless offspring by themselves; they won’t like how laws are now one bit.

  • CJ

    All your issues above are irrelevant. You both had sex, had a baby and are both responsible for the health and financial welfare of that child equally, all your lives. “Work’ in the traditional sense is not just paid work, it is work in the home. You disrespect your wife and other stay at home Mums (or Dads) by diminishing it. Dads or Mums stay at home time is a necessity and they sacrifice so much on many levels to look after the children. Grow up.

    • driversuz

      You have been banned because of a serious and direct violation of Comment Policy (trolling and general contempt for the work AVfM does). [Ref: 2441]

      Additional remarks:

      Seagull. Didn’t read the article.

    • OlCam

      This is BS, because, marriage is not work, marriage is a risk for both
      parties, so if i decide to leave my roomate’s apartment, and she has been
      cooking for me, and ironing my clothes sometimes, does that mean that
      she automatically deserves half my salary, it’s a RISK, that’s why
      marriage should be taken seriously. You can’t just say, “i don’t want to
      be married to you anymore, so i want half your money, even though i
      never earned that money”. Unless of course the couple decided that one
      should work, while the other stays at home, then fair enough, the stay
      at home one would deserve some money, as they could not earn their own
      income due to looking after the kids for example.

  • Greg Williams

    Oh my lordy Therapist Oniha of the winexbackspell@gmail.com I GOT Briggs BACK. Im so excited, It only took 2days for him to come home. bless divinity and bless god. i must be dreaming as i never thoughts he would be back to me after all this time. I am so much shock and just cant believe my eyes. thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart,he always kiss and hug me now at all times,am so happy my heart is back to me with your help Therapist Oniha.

    • driversuz

      You have been banned because of a serious and direct violation of Comment Policy (spam). [Ref: 2557]

  • Bida Stacey


    Am Bida Stacey by name My ex-boyfriend dumped me 6 months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me.I was so confuse and don’t know what to do,
    a friend of mine introduce me to the Dr Harrison by giving me his email, i never believed until
    I contact him and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my ex will return
    to me, and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. for more information contact me on bidastacey@gmail.com I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that,we got MARRIED.all thanks to Dr Harrison. (seeing is believing) just put him to test and see his mighty power. If you have a similar problem please contact him on SACREDSPELLTEMPLE@HOTMAIL.COM

  • Bida Stacey


    Am Bida Stacey by name My ex-boyfriend dumped me 6 months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me.I was so confuse and don’t know what to do,
    a friend of mine introduce me to the Dr Harrison by giving me his email, i never believed until
    I contact him and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my ex will return
    to me, and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. for more information contact me on bidastacey@gmail.com I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that,we got MARRIED.all thanks to Dr Harrison. (seeing is believing) just put him to test and see his mighty power. If you have a similar problem please contact him on SACREDSPELLTEMPLE@HOTMAIL.COM,

  • driversuz

    “men get custody very easily anymore”
    Easily? Those who fight for it get custody a whopping 15-20% of the time. “Easily,” relative to what?

    • I Miss My Stolen Baby…

      Nope that is inaccurate when men fight for custody they get shared or full more than 70% of the time I believe it is. A verbal argument and the son I raised I have to fight back for again and I’m a good mom. Don’t be so quick with all the father’s rights groups moms don’t stand a chance. My ex had stalking, burgulary charges, domestic violence, and almost felony theft on his record, high school dropout, didn’t work and probably still doesn’t, etc. and took over when I cared for him his whole life in between all his multiple women, cheating, not supporting him, etc. have a college degree, worked, paid all the bills, etc. and then they threaten to take them away and succeed and post videos on Youtube teaching other men how to do the same-if you can’t see that as abuse then you are quite naive. Now my poor son tells me he is ignored there, thrown to his grandmas and couldn’t tell me one thing he does with dad other than video games going to do things, playing, etc. so you tell me he wants his “kid”. Sure likes that support and tax refund though….it just sickens me.

      • driversuz

        The plural of “anecdote” is not “data.” You are trolling, back off now or leave, with or without a metaphorical boot in your metaphorical ass.

        • Unreal

          All she’s doing is disagreeing with you and offering a different experience, which is her real life experience. That warrants being threatened with being banned and called a troll?

          • driversuz

            By “different experience,” do you mean “Feminist-backed lie?” You know, the one where men “get custody very easily?” Then she goes off on a tangent, distracting us with and seeking sympathy for a personal anecdote? She can tell her Women Are Obviously The Most Important Victims Of Everything And Here’s Why I FEEL That’s True story anywhere else in the media. Here it’s just more spam, selling us a narrative that we have rejected because it is bigoted.

          • Unreal

            What is the accurate number of men who request custody and get it if it’s not 70%? And yes there is plenty of advice out there for people looking to avoid child support.

            Or are you suggesting she’s lying about her experience with her ex?

            It doesn’t make sense to me. I’ve seen more men get screwed in divorce but that doesn’t mean that women never get screwed. Wanting to reform the system so that men who do care about their children (and aren’t just looking to shirk their responsibilities) get equal access and fair treatment does not require one to buy into the narrative that all women are bad and all men are victims.

          • driversuz

            You’re not reading what is written; you are reading what is not written. She cleverly changed “custody” to “shared or full custody,” which includes “a couple of days a month, and paying child support.” I guess that means that the family courts favor men right? See how that works?

            Now stop derailing or you’re gone.

      • driversuz

        Strike 2: This is a friendly warning that you may need to re-read our Comment Policy, in particular the bits about derailing and trolling. [Ref: 2866]

    • Unreal

      I think the question is how often is custody awarded to men when they request it. The vast majority of men don’t get custody but then the vast majority of men don’t ask for it either.

  • driversuz

    Bullshit. It’s not that they “can’t be bothered,” it’s that they work and have no support systems.
    You seem to have a rather low opinion of men.

    • I Miss My Stolen Baby…

      My ex never worked and supported him not got his wife doing all the work and he just wants the playtime if that which I think his mother got him more than him either. Not all but many want the power and control….they don’t want the actual kid. Just to abuse you and say things to your kid and have them say it to you…..it’s inappropriate. But I don’t see too many guys working, doing housework, and taking care of their kids ALL ALONE. Most guys don’t go for custody until they are older or have a new spouse to take care of them. He doesn’t work now or lies about it or maybe something under the table and then tells my son I don’t work since I had to move. Then my son told me I don’t have him because “I don’t work hard enough”-now where would he learn that? He wants to be with me and even tells me how much he is ignored there-just not at tax time however. Most of these guys going for custody in the relationship or marriage probably did little child care but don’t wanna pay or want the control so they go for the kid…..he threatened me for years of getting custody and never thought it would be so easy. I’m a very involved good mom and it’s just ridiculous I can be thrown away over an argument. But that’s ok because I’m taking it back to court ASAP. I’m not gonna go down without a fight…..I want my baby back to be with his sisters and not his wife’s other kids that aren’t even related to him. They need to be with their siblings and I’m in a better more stable environment now so I’m gonna make it happen and he wants to be with me too. And I’m married but don’t believe in love. Many single moms do a great job without all the drama and support and men are intimidated that we don’t need them anymore for income or emotional support. I’m a feminist and I am tired of this idealization of fathers who many spend maybe an hour a day with their kid and not all the time, dedication, housework, work, etc. that a mom does. There’s good dads out there but I bet you the majority of the time they are the ones who are still married and don’t want to leave or a divorce just so they can have their freedom and do what the hell they want anymore. Then they leave you, change their mind or wanna play house with a new woman then want to see their kid all of a sudden. Yet you that did all the work, sacrifices for years, etc. gets thrown to the curb in court and reduced to a visitor after you raised that child and you tell me they can just take over. I think if you are and always were primary caregiver unless that was a problem that should stay unless circumstances change and I don’t mean because mom has to work after a divorce to support them or dad wants to leave and take the kid so he doesn’t have to work or be responsible. Or they have their mommy raise them too. Not saying all just saying this happens a lot. Then they lose you and your side of the family and their bio siblings to be with step siblings that could be gone tommorrow over their own blood along with all the confusion for them, guilt for you for doing your best, not having money to fight all of it, etc. It’s absolutely horrible and I miss my baby. Yet he thinks it’s funny because now he can legally stalk me and it’s hidden through my son, talking to my in laws even on a regular basis so they can all screw me over-I don’t think so. It’s sick when they have no business having a relationship and it’s just to plot against me since they don’t like me either and didn’t want me to move back home and have limited visits with my other 2 kids but hey things happen. If people didn’t have all this court mess and had to work it out on their own and support was worked out on your own-bet a lot of people wouldn’t have separated in the first place. I think if you can save it and you love them you should try but sometimes it’s easier to do it all on your own without distractions and drama. Plus this undermines the great single moms out there that their situation isn’t “good enough”. I had an ex tell me I was “screwed up” because my parents were divorced-really? Most of the ones I know who are screwed up the parents are still together and disfunctional. Mom wears the pants and the dad has no say so or doesn’t dare speak out-that to me is no better than being separate. Plus most I bet if no kids might still be together because a man could think of some excuse to leave her so he doesn’t have to be tied down with kids and you take care of them only for them to steal them away later on. That is why kids have issues these days. Taking them away from their primary caregiver and tossing them all over the place and my son has an adjustment disorder like me from it too so it shows that boys need their mama.

      • driversuz

        Strike 1: This is a friendly warning that you may need to re-read our Comment Policy, in particular the bits about derailing and trolling. [Ref: 2865]

        Additional remarks:

        “Men are bad/pay attention to ME!”

  • Daniel Kulkarni

    I refuse to pay child support as well, which is why I’ve chosen the road of celibacy. I don’t know how men can feel comfortable risking their livelihoods just to get their dicks wet. Condom failure rates aren’t as low as most people pretend; you have to remember to factor in human error.

    • B Hollis


  • Daniella Pal

    I want to appreciate Dr.Kasee of ONIMALOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM for bringing back my husband who left me and the kids for almost 2 years. i never taught i would never get him back untill i saw a comment online about dr. Kasee and i contacted him, after following all instruction given to me by Dr.Kasee, my husband came back begging for forgiveness within the space of 48hours. Thanks doctor your spell is really great. For those of you who have marriage/relationship problem should contacct him for hel via onimalovespell@gmail.com . And experience it your self.

  • driversuz

    You have been banned because of a serious and direct violation of Comment Policy (trolling and general contempt for the work AVfM does). [Ref: 3141]

    Additional remarks:

    Perhaps the problem is the intellectual depth (or lack thereof) of people who think “skimming” is an adequate way to understand an article. Such people are rarely as qualified as they think they are, to offer sound analyses of “The Problem.”

    Seagull droppings

  • Cayla Mella

    My husband has abandon me and the kids for the the past 8months now, and refuse to come back because he was hold on by a woman whom he just met, for that, my self and the kids has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but i decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then i went online there i saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose email is camaralovespell@live.com so i had to contact him and in just 3days as he has promised, my husband came home and his behavior was back to the man i got married to.I cant thank the spell caster enough what what he did for me, i am so grateful. I even spoke to the spell caster over the phone, to confirm his existence. His email again is: camaralovespell@live.com

  • driversuz

    You have been banned because of a serious and direct violation of Comment Policy (trolling). [Ref: 3564]

    Additional remarks:

    Didn’t read the article.

  • Erik

    Only one way — ARMED REVOLT against the communists who control this monstrous system of child support — I support armed violence against the ZIONIST-Communist government in the UASR.. Time to abolish child support and its oppressive laws !

    • driversuz

      You have been banned because of a serious and direct violation of Comment Policy (violence). [Ref: 3667]

  • Paul

    Very unusual and as stated by the author really not likely, especially since the loophole he mentioned no longer applies. While I’m happy for the author it’s not particularly useful for other men. I am among the huge class of men that were tricked by the lure of romantic western marriage – and then upon triggering “no fault divorce” my wife with the backing of the state and at the point of a gun turned me into a wage slave. Knowing what I know now, the advice I would give to young men, is the only advice that actually would work – and that is avoid getting married and having kids.

  • trishab1234

    As a woman I admit I read the headline and made assumptions about what the author was going to say. I was WRONG. I absolutly agree with what this man did and believe strongly he did what was best for his child. What better situation then having dad take care of the kid during the day and letting mom have the child at night. This way no child support is needed because both parents are taking care of the child the same amount of time and providing the same things for the child. My husband and I actually have a written agreement with almost this exact arrangment. Should we divorce we will split custody and the children will spend every other week with me and the other weeks with my husband. No child support will be paid because we will both be responsible for providing a home, clothing, etc. My question to everyone is why is this not the default? Wouldn’t you men who feel vicitmized by the courts feel better if this was the default in divorce and child support cases?

    • James

      Feel better? Uh yeah absolutely but the bottom line is the woman (99% of the time) has the power. In my state 50/50 custody is not a reason not to receive support; if the woman pushes for support she will get it. So in short it isn’t the default because most women want the money. For this arrangement to work out it would have to be handled outside of court and the majority of women are unwilling to do that.

      • trishab1234

        It all depends on who makes the most money, in California you can have split custody but if one parent whether man or woman makes substantially more than the other they have to pay support so that the kids do not go without.

        • James

          Then by default, and speaking from personal experience, that leaves one specific parent at an economic disadvantage with no incentive to split 50/50 custody. If one has to pay for the kids at the others house and pay for the kids when they are at their own house that is not what I call fair.

          If one parent makes less then perhaps he/she should get up and better themselves through education, training, etc and not seek a paycheck from the other parent because that’s exactly what it is. If these women want the best for their kids then they should want the best for their ex, financially, as well.

  • apennison


    I live in MN and I am in some real trouble. I served in Iraq in 2011-2012 and my wife cheated and wanted a divorce. We did a joint dissolution of marriage and I agreed to pay here 1440 dollars a month while I was there oversees. It was my understanding that once I returned home that we had joint physical custody, which we do.

    The problem was that I believed that the child support would end when I returned home because we had joint physical custody at that moment which was May 2012. I also gave her the house and she was awarded the rights to the title.

    When I came home she did not want the house so I moved in and things went fine until now.

    I have remarried and I have a new baby girl, and it seems that this has set the x off. She still had rights to the home, and she has forced me to leave, and at this moment I will be leaving in 1 week. She also found that the child support order is still in affect, meaning that even though we have shared the children jointly and I make only a third of what I made oversees I now owe child support arrears in the amount of 10000 dollars.

    The are garnishing my paychecks to pay the current child support leaving me with only 100 dollars a week!

    Then in about a week they will garnish for the back 10000, and I am forced to move too!
    I am afraid that I will lose my license and maybe even face some other trouble because of this and I did not do anything wrong. They lived with me and I supported them half of the time. I have scoured the internet and the only thing I can find is stuff about men dodging child support and nothing that reflects my situation.
    Help Please!!!!
    I Need pertinent advice that I can use!

    • James

      Your best bet is to get a lawyer.

  • coptic777

    Dumb comment. Where in the article does anything indicate your paying for his children? Musician? He made money at it. How are you going to choose what kind of profession blacks make for themselves? You are just pulling things out of your ads making things up as you go along with your rant. Too many like you among the manosphere and your type actually helps feminist say “see they are all sexist white men over there” you bring more problems to men.

  • el109

    he’s lucky because you’re not a crazy bitch who just want the money, but hide the kids from their father…

  • Unreal

    Out of curiosity…who financially supports the child?

    • driversuz

      Did you read the article? Presumably both of them are supporting their TWO CHILDREN. Child support not being paid by one parent to the other, does not mean that one of the parents is not supporting the child.

      • Unreal

        Yes I read it. He said they both spend time with the child but did not say who pays the bills. Quality time is great but it doesn’t feed and clothe them.

        • driversuz

          Strike 2: This is a friendly warning that you may need to re-read our Comment Policy, in particular the bits about derailing and trolling. [Ref: 5257]

          • Unreal

            Lol. Do you ban everyone who doesn’t agree with you or just when you can’t answer their questions? You yourself even used the word presumably.

            Seriously you’ve banned and removed half comments here. It’s too bad because there are some good articles on this site that could lead to productive discussion (of which disagreement is a necessary part BTW) if it were not for you trying to play thought police. The very thing you accuse feminists of doing. The irony.

          • driversuz

            This isn’t discussion, it’s trolling by redirecting attention towards “women’s issues.” Bye now.

          • driversuz

            Strike 3 which, since you can’t seem to adhere to Comment Policy (derailing and trolling), means you are now autobanned. [Ref: 5259]

  • James

    Wow that racism though.

  • James

    You are 100% right it is highway robbery.

  • James

    I am two years away from being done with CS. If I ever get married again (big if) there will definitely be a pre-nup involved.

    • driversuz

      Be aware: if you try to limit CS in a prenup, it will be overturned.

  • Super Hamster

    Good luck with that I have paid CS to the two foster parents of my kids now 30 years I will have to pay them another 15 years 65% of my SSDI in back intrest. Because I got behind in the interest payments due to MS.
    My wife which so far has never paid anything to them has had it pretty easy. I will be 82 when Im done paying this interest off if I make it my kids will be over 60.

  • Elle Williams

    That works out quite well…unless the wife is the primary caregiver and was discouraged from working outside the home. Their father has remarried an unemployed, uneducated woman on welfare with three additional children, had another and moved 3,000 miles away. Meanwhile, I am working like mad to complete a degree and find REAL work. So, I should be compelled to losing custody of my children because of his choices? No, no, no. I’m the adult in this scenario…and I’m not losing my kids because Daddy went on a bender.