abused man with bloody eye 750

Why women’s shelters are hotbeds of misandry

At the very moment when the operation of women’s shelters in Germany has been subjected to scientific study for the first time, the German Bundestag’s Family Affairs Committee has decided to review the question of whether women’s shelters should receive funding guarantees through the German federal government. Given the political ideology of women’s shelters and the ramifications of such a step, this proposal should be taken under serious review. The answers to a number of questions are still outstanding. Have the services performed in women’s shelters stood the test of time? Are the shelters operated in a professional manner, and have they moved on from an ideology that views men as the perpetrators of violence and women as nonviolent? Have women’s shelters developed a professional understanding of family conflicts that enables them to extend their efforts and include all members of a violent family?

As usual, the slated funding guarantees are based on no more than the convenient statistic that “every fourth woman will become the victim of relationship violence at some time in her life.” Since there is no comparable data that would apply to men, the number is poorly suited as legitimization for women’s shelters. Up until now, reference was made to the role of women as victims, and funding for such institutions was automatically renewed. The effectiveness of the shelters was not monitored. At the same time, the statistic was used to popularize their work. In the pre-Christmas season of 2007, a media campaign was launched in Austria under the slogan “Verliebt. Verlobt. Verprügelt” (In Love. Engaged. Battered). The German lottery also runs public service spots pertaining to the matter. While all this has little bearing on the circumstances under which men and women actually conduct their lives, it couldn’t document more clearly a bias against men.

When women’s shelters were first being opened more than 20 years ago, the object was to focus public attention on the experience of violence from a woman’s perspective. The founding of the Bremen women’s shelter can be traced to just such an intention on the part of the author, who at the time endorsed the risky attempt to provide political lay self-help. This coincided with the spirit of the times and its sensitivity to violence as an aspect of women’s lives – although it did not extend to men. In those days, the author, too, was unwilling to imagine that women’s shelters would make a substantial contribution to a hostile polarization of society into violent men as opposed to irenic women, thereby creating many years of stagnation in gender discourse.

Ignorant Family Policies

Today, we know more than we did 25 years ago about the partnership dynamics that trigger violence. More than two hundred studies in the USA and Canada have produced findings that have added to public knowledge and increased understanding in political circles. But it is precisely the field of family policies that offers stubborn resistance to the very essence of this research, namely, that women behave just as aggressively and violently as men, and even slightly more often. This also applies to their behavior toward their children. It is particularly conspicuous during phases of a divorce that are high in violence. All counseling agencies should be expected to help limit violence so that children, above all, do not become actively or passively involved in the violent episodes between their parents.

A major survey of divorced fathers conducted by the author in Bremen showed that violence occurs in 30 percent of all divorces, with 1,800 men reporting physical or psychological abuse by their partners. This represents a significantly higher rate of incidence than the approximately ten percent seen in relationships under everyday conditions. Within the 30 percent of divorces where violence occurred, sixty percent was initiated by the men’s ex-wives or ex-partners. Our survey findings revealed that within the most conflict laden context of an adult life, women, too, initiate violence. Only from the perspective of women’s shelters does violence emanate exclusively from men. Instead of making divorce conflicts more tractable, women’s shelters actually exacerbate them. The »every-fourth-woman« statistic is therefore being used to document the necessity of changing the Domestic Relations Law of 1998, because allegedly the sole source of danger for children during a divorce is violence stemming from their fathers. By pursuing this approach to family policy, the advocates of women’s shelters are attempting to use prejudice as a means to rescind the right of children to both of their parents.

The 60 percent of divorce-related violent incidents that are initiated by women inflict great suffering on the fathers involved. Their statements are genuine. Yet there is a difference between science and the ideologically based enemy image adopted in women’s shelters, and it lies in the evaluation of the numbers. Whereas science attempts to resolve conflict, the proponents of women’s shelters book hostility toward men as political success. Accordingly, we do not claim that women experience episodes of violence in exactly the same way that men do. To make that assertion, we would have to survey them, which we have not as yet done – and neither have the »every-fourth-woman« agitators.

We have, however, arrived at an entirely different set of conclusions. We assume that women experienced the abuse in a similar way as their partners, namely, as stemming from the man. American studies confirm this. But if both parties are mutually accusing each other of starting the violence, then what is actually true? Both statements represent subjective truths. Generally, neither of the parties is lying. Unlike during their happier times, however, both of them now feel aggrieved and are no longer able to communicate with each other verbally. They lapse into lethal silence, scream at each other, or resort to physical blows. In such cases, marriage and family counselors can help to restore the couple’s destroyed ability to communicate. Once the partners reestablish a common language, they have the option of entering into a process of reconciliation or choosing to separate with respect. They and, above all, their children do not lose their positive experiences from the past.

Women’s shelters are incapable of providing this kind of professional intervention because of their ideology: they view a man as every woman’s enemy. For them, it is a foregone conclusion that women do not engage in violent acts. According to the ideology espoused in women’s shelters, this is always a given, and mutual talks between a woman and her partner are therefore superfluous. To this end, women are politically manipulated into a victim role and men are collectively denigrated. Consequently, the residents of women’s shelters are allowed to experience themselves only as victims and not as participants in a relationship that has turned violent.

Women’s shelters represent a world where the joy of life is missing, and efforts to resolve relationship conflicts have been replaced by existential despondency or even self-hatred. Misandry appears to offer a way out. This oppressive atmosphere surely accounts for the high rate of employee turnover at women’s shelters and the dissension within work teams. It enables one to understand recent research conducted in the USA which found that women are increasingly steering clear of shelters despite the severity of their conflicts. They do not want to be forced into a world that despises men. Their own problems are burden enough.

The advocates of women’s shelters are unfazed by objections that they are compromising the ethics of the helping professions, for professionalism is not their goal. On the contrary, they self-confidently label themselves as “partisan,” which is synonymous with viewing women as victims who face sinister male powers and an indifferent public. Professional ethics have been deliberately replaced by political motives. And that is by no means selfless. It gives them a narcissistic high and a sense of moral superiority over the rest of the world. It is a mixture of elitism and pretended self-sacrifice.

In the founding years of women’s shelters, this elitism functioned as a gateway for the disparagement of existing professional organizations that were sponsored, for example, by Protestant churches, the Catholic Church, or the German state governments.

In that respect, little has changed. The proponents of women’s shelters believe that their combative, anti-patriarchal rhetoric will have a greater impact than professionally trained counselors and therapists. Most of them seem unimpressed that they are not genuinely helping those who seek counseling, because they attribute their failure to a lack of political insight on the part of the women. Their sense of mission appears to provide greater narcissistic gratification than the tough, daunting task of working with violent families who have elevated physical expression to the language of everyday life and otherwise no longer have much to say about each other.

The Feminist Ideology: A Hotbed of Misandry

Granted, there may be shelters that have jettisoned their ideological ballast, but even the term “women’s shelter” itself always implies the disastrous ideology of radical feminism, whereby relationships between men and women are characterized by their respective status as victim and perpetrator. According to that, women can do nothing and men are completely in charge. Thus, women’s shelters perpetuate the destruction of communication within partnerships as a political project within the gender discussion.

The conclusions are obvious. The concept of ideologically based women’s shelters is no longer needed. What families with violence problems urgently need is a network of counseling centers that can provide unbiased and nondiscriminatory assistance to all of the parties involved. For family violence is systemic and psychodynamic in nature. If a woman strikes her husband, and the husband strikes his wife, then there is a high probability that they are also abusing their children. And children who have been struck, boys and girls alike, are in turn more likely as adults to strike their own children or partners. This sets the course for the reemergence of intra-family violence in the following generation. Society continuously accumulates a growing potential for violence. And mothers who do not strike their children, but instead leave the task to the children’s father, are no less integral parts of the scheme of violence – as is the parent who simply remains silent in response to the entire situation.

Family Counseling Centers against Domestic Violence

Instead of women’s shelters, what we need in the future are specialized counseling centers for families with unresolved violent conflicts. These would be staffed by well-trained men and women who cooperate based on professional ethical standards. They would intervene directly during violent family crises and, in extreme cases, provide a temporary safe haven for men and children and women, to the extent this has not already become unnecessary due to a personal protection order. We need family counseling centers that can step in and have an impact at the very source of the ongoing intergenerational cycle of violence. A public that is dumbfounded by the apathy of youth welfare offices and horrified by school murders and the corpses of children should approve government funding only if those who seek counseling are assured to receive effective assistance. Counseling therapy simply must be kept free of political ideologies. The only place where this does not apply is in undemocratic societies.

Likewise, we need to initiate a new discussion at colleges and universities. Political correctness has given rise to a prohibition on thinking about women in terms of aggression and violence, and this must be confronted with the findings of international research.

Editorial note: This article was translated by Philip Schmitz. –DE

About Dr. Gerhard Amendt

Gerhard Amendt is Professor of Gender and Generation Research at the University of Breman. His most recent book, "I did not divorce my kids!" How Fathers Deal with Family Break-Ups was published in 2008. His forthcoming publication is a text book on intra-family violence. Dr. Amendt can be reached at amendt@uni-bremen.de

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  • politicalcynic

    What families with violence problems urgently need is a network of
    counseling centers that can provide unbiased and nondiscriminatory
    assistance to all of the parties involved.

    THIS is what needs to be done to address domestic violence. It is unfortunate and tragic that the ideological drives of feminism have served for so long to obfuscate the truth-because that obfuscation has BECOME a huge part of the problem. When the approach to the problem is ideologically driven, rather than fact and evidence driven you get the result we see today: EVERY attempt to address the issues of reciprocity or of female initiated domestic violence is met with either scorn, accusations the one is a “lying misogynist”, or claims of “but it is SO much worse for the women”.

    You do not solve a problem by ignoring half the perpetrators-or half the victims.

    • http://menaregood.com/ Tom Golden

      Yes indeed. And these counseling centers need to be able to sift out the normal quarreling family from the sociopaths. Each needs a different treatment and at this point the women’s shelters have treated all families like the man is a sociopath. That is infuriating and it is so hard to believe they have gotten away with if for so long.

      • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

        I’ve just been talking to an amazing man who after 6 years of dealing with DV as the victim, having been hospitalised, had to give evidence to have his partner put away and after having to relocated, build a new life and all the time seeking help – he’s finally been able to locate a councillor who will support him in recovery. Only 6 years. As A Woman he would have had his hand held through out at the tax payers expense through Women’s Aide…. and any delay in support or action would have been met with creaming frothing mouthed advocacy and threat. Isn’t equality a funny thing.

        In the UK there have in the post been some DV Refuges that weeded out the female sociopaths and passed them off on to other organisations – just male it someone else’s problem. Presently, due to funding cuts they keep the sociopaths in the refuges which fills a financial gap but causes long term and avoidable damage to other refuge users.

        The mythology of Women’s Aide and the caring welcoming refuges is dangerous, and I do fear that it will come to tragedy (and most probably deaths) before anyone is willing to act and deal with the underlying toxic dynamics. Sociopathic employees within Refuges just add to the toxicity.

        Of course the group most affected by these dynamics are of course children. I fear that ultimately it will end up with The NSPCC (Charity) having to investigate Women’s Aide Charity … but then again that will never happen so leave the kids to be damaged long term.

      • alex brown

        From my experience, the sort of person who seeks out gorup counselling is a histrionic sociopath. They want to shame and belittle the other party in front of another audience.

  • Greg Thrasher

    Political propaganda! The narrative is divisive and advances nothing of value for families under duress..

    • http://www.avoiceformen.com/ Dean Esmay

      What, you mean this article?

      • Greg Thrasher

        Yes this article was troubling on many levels…

        Subject: Re: New comment posted on Why women’s shelters are hotbeds of misandry

        • Paul Johnson

          Care to elaborate?

          • Greg Thrasher

            I did already on Dean’s site… I do not purchase the narrative that woman view men as enemies certainly not in Black communities … I find the entire Men’s Movement a divisive proposition and not a constructive paradigm for the country certainly not in Black venues ….

          • http://www.avoiceformen.com/ Dean Esmay

            Hateful lies are perpetrated by the government every day about black men beating on and murdering their women. I find that troubling, and divisive. There are a lot of phony stats on this, such as the outrageous claims of the Federal government that being murdered by her boyfriend or husband is a top cause of death among black women, and it’s a lie. There’s a whole lot of other lies like that.

          • http://www.avoiceformen.com/ Dean Esmay

            And by the way, who the heck said women view men as enemies, in or out of the black community? Radical feminists view men as enemies and if you doubt it we can point you to copious literature demonstrating that it’s so.

          • http://www.genderratic.com/ Ginkgo

            Can you explain how an article on misandry in women’s shelters and the system enabling that misandry in Germany is in any way relevant to the situation in black communities in the US, or how the situation in Black communities is in any way relevant to what is going on in Germany?
            The world does not revolve around the US and US realities are not somehow normative for the rest of the world.

          • Greg Thrasher

            You should pose your hollow question to Dean he posted this nonsense … Of course I choose to make a linkage with Black America in part because I do whatever I want any time I want to whenever / wherever in addition because I am sure you know that even in Germany they have gender roles … Humanity transcends all boundaries …. Lol lol

          • http://www.genderratic.com/ Ginkgo

            “Of course I choose to make a linkage with Black America in part because I do whatever I want any time I want to whenever”
            Solipsistic nonsense. You talk like a white girl You might as well be a feminist.

          • Guest

            You’re then completely unaware of the Black community also being a part of the human community.

          • Greg Thrasher

            Get lost I do not engage intellectual cowards who post behind a mask ….

          • alex brown

            projection Saelpalani? lolol

          • alex brown

            I think it is Saelpalani?

            A radical feminist youtube blogger who has relationships with wild rats. (Not joking.) If it is not her, he is using the same tactics as her.

            Just ad hom attacks and assertions.

        • Graham Strouse

          Do elaborate, please.

        • http://www.avoiceformen.com/ Dean Esmay

          I recommend you read this: http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/domestic-violence-industry/refuting-40-years-of-lies-about-violence/

          Domestic violence is not a gendered issue. It never has been. The people who are being divisive are the ones who claim it is, when 40 years of research refutes the hateful feminist narrative on it.

          • Greg Thrasher

            Nonsense .. BTW I now discount many of your references ..The majority of domestic violence has women as the targets with the children as collateral damage…

            The hate I have observe of has origins in the Men Movements … This commentary was quite explicit with verbiage that woman view men as their enemy … Of course such a backward narrative is not reflective of the relationships of Black Woman and Black men and our families ….

          • Greg Thrasher

            https://www.ncjrs.gov/txtfiles1/nij/183781.txt

            Facts not fiction , myth or propaganda!!!

          • Ian’s Oak

            And that makes you double fail…citing the same discredited partial study from November 2000..

            You are a Pony of very limited tricks.

          • http://kristalgarcia.wordpress.com/ Kristal Garcia

            Incorrect, the majority of non provoked domestic violence is initiated by women-70% :http://newscastmedia.com/domestic-violence.htm

            And stop segregating black women and black men from the rest of humanity. Black women and black men ARE women and men.

          • Greg Thrasher

            Get out of your denial and wounded ego… It is ok being a woman of color … You doth protest to me stop fighting your own ethos and gender …

          • Greg Thrasher

            Stop being a conduit of disinformation …

            https://www.ncjrs.gov/txtfiles1/nij/183781.txt

          • Ian’s Oak

            Had to go back to November 2000 to find something to support your assertions, despite the fact that this was a study that was not complete and has since been discredited.

            Wow, talk about cherry picking your data. Your choices out you as laughable and deluded.

          • Greg Thrasher

            I have plenty more but recall I dumb down discourse in here given this forum’s audience :-)

          • Ian’s Oak

            “Charge of Puerility (Code Green) – The Peter Pan Charge

            Discussion: The target is accused of being immature and/or irresponsible in some manner that reflects badly on his status as an adult male.”

            http://exposingfeminism.wordpress.com/shaming-tactics/

            You’re pathetically predictable. I included the link so you could at least pretend to yourself that you’re trying to avoid pulling from the same playbook.

            By the way, if all you have is your opinion and fanaticism without any credible links, data or cogent information to back you up you’re not dialing down anything. You’re being a poseur, a child without a critical thought in your mind in the midst those who’re mentally senior to you.

          • Greg Thrasher

            You bore me … Lol lol

          • Ian’s Oak

            BUT you keep replying. That indicates interest and narcissism.

            Go kiss your rats, Sael. They are more your dating speed. Just be sure to have yourself checked first. Innocent rodents don’t deserve your infections.

          • Greg Thrasher

            You doth protest to much …. In truth you are one tiresome boring fuck .. Lol

          • http://www.genderratic.com/ Ginkgo

            The correct verb form is either “You do protest…” or “Thou dost…” – not “You doth”.

          • Greg Thrasher

            This is a chat forum not an English Lit Class…Please note my previous posts wherein I informed this forum I dumb down my content given the audience

          • Greg Thrasher

            This is a chat forum not an English Lit Class….

          • alex brown

            Black women are the main reason black men turn out so violent. Black women are abusing and neglecting boys, being violent towards their male spouses and kicking them out on the streets when relationships go bad.

          • Greg Thrasher

            Penis envy often drives posters like you

          • Ian’s Oak

            And how does that pertain to the women who have been putting you in your place, Sael?

          • Greg Thrasher

            Penis envy clearly drives them as well… Frustration is a bitch…lol

          • Ian’s Oak

            *looks around with a magnifying glass*

            “Amazing, Watson!”

            “What is, Holmes?”

            “This troll has not presented a single fact, only allegations and shaming tactics.”

            “You mean…”

            “Elementary, Watson! This person suffers from dogmatic thinking and a regressive mental capacity bolstered by cultish double-think, and the delusion that Male=Evil and Female=Divine!”

            “Poor soul.”

            “Nothing of the sort, my good man. In the age of enlightenment and knowledge, ignorance is self imposed.”

            You’re dismissed, Sael.

          • Greg Thrasher

            Snore

          • alex brown

            Sael dates rats, she is mentally gone.

          • Graham Strouse

            Trolling for pussy validation are we?

          • Greg Thrasher

            Pussy? Never a good thing being a crude person. I would wager you were never a good student …Vulgar people like you are often lonely and it need of a pet … Pussy? Wow

          • Graham Strouse

            Liking your own posts is always weak sauce.

          • Greg Thrasher

            You do not like yourself…. Not my problem of course I validate me…lol

          • markis1

            narcissists always validate themselves

          • Greg Thrasher

            None that I know… Lol lol

          • markis1

            How so?

          • Greg Thrasher

            You are marginally clever figure it out before supper… Lol lol

          • markis1

            egotistic is the epitome of self validation fyi

          • Greg Thrasher

            Says the clown behind a mask … Lol

          • markis1

            Calling me a clown does not invalidate my statement at all.Try again.

          • Greg Thrasher

            So good to know I have your esteem affirmation … Lol

          • markis1

            Attempting to insult and compliment me at the same time.Try again.

          • Greg Thrasher

            I blush at your obsession with my every utterance … Yikes

          • markis1

            “Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity, or egotistic
            admiration of one’s own physical or mental attributes, that derive from
            arrogant pride.”

          • markis1

            You are unable to see the parallels between self validation and self admiration.Now i understand you.

          • Greg Thrasher

            Oh my how wicked are thou

          • alex brown

            This is greg thrasher

          • markis1

            “You do not like yourself”
            You are assuming he has a deficit of self esteem.Projection much?

          • Greg Thrasher

            Projection not anymore I have a plasma screen.. Lol

          • Doug Hart

            Ladies and Gentlemen……Greg Thrasher fresh from his dorm room hot plate, where he dedicates the time between the allowance checks from his parents on researching how to convert a concoction of two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen from a liquid to a gas.

          • Greg Thrasher

            Doug … Really one of the fatal tells of a marginal poster is with their initial post they make it personal unable to separate the content from the messenger … You I will dismiss now and forever . I have little regards from impotent thinkers who cannot measure up from with their initial salvo with me…. Get lost now !!!…. Lol lol lol

          • Ian’s Oak

            Remember Sael, when you can only come up with Ad Hom attacks and shrieks of GET LOST, you’re bucking for queen of the weak sauce.

            Here’s your Tinfoil crown.

          • Ian’s Oak

            “BTW I now discount many of your references ” as if you were royalty and with one hand you could wave it in the air and wipe away a fact. Well you’re nobody, and even if you were royalty you STILL need some kind of facts rather than your baseless assertions to discount anything.

            Citations please or take your STFU pills. You haven’t proven anything except you value your own whist more than any fact or figure presented.

          • Greg Thrasher

            Is that your best insult… Come on step up your angst… Lol

          • Ian’s Oak

            Ah, feminists…conflating TRUTH with INSULT. You’re as bad as the Reichwingturds that hate having facts rip apart their carefully crafted fantasies.

            There isn’t ONE Ad Hom in my reply to you, but that never stopped any feminist with cognitive dissonance and a unhealthy victim card they wanted to play.

          • http://www.genderratic.com/ Ginkgo

            “The majority of domestic violence has women as the targets with the children as collateral damage…”

            Oh, you’re one of those. You center women ahead of everyone, including children. A gynophile. The majority of DV are children and the majority of perpetrators are women.

            You are far from unique when it comes to “centering women”: http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/the-one-good-man/

            Just so you know, casting men as the big, bad threat is a form of male supremacy.

          • alex brown

            Greg is female. I think I know who she really is.

            A certain female feminist youtube blogger with pet rats. lolol

          • Graham Strouse

            Rats can actually be really great pets. Very sweet, really. Feminist bloggers, not so much.

          • Matthew Lane

            Do you have any actual non subjective evidence to suggest this is the case.

    • Sean

      The blanket dismissal only satisfies you. Some day you maybe faced with a reality which will fly in the face of your dogma. The truth speaks for itself.

      • Greg Thrasher

        The truth is clearly not present in this garbage . I live in truth why would need to wait for it to fly … Lol lol

        • alex brown

          Empty assertions, appeal to mockery. Please add something to the debate sir.

          • Greg Thrasher

            When in Rome … I dumb down often when I post I’m
            these types of forums..

          • Turbo

            You do it very well, so realistic.

          • Matthew Lane

            Appeal to motive: Please add something to the debate sir.

          • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

            You Dumb Down? That must be hard for you to achieve given the paucity of capacity that you have consistently displayed over so many venues.

            But then again, when one lives under a bridge or in a cave it’s hard to get lower and dumber! P¬)

          • Greg Thrasher

            Thanks for confirming why I dumb down my posts in here… Lol

          • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

            Well I’m so glad that you are so self aware of the internal causes you have for your natural and innate dumbing down. Have you considered it as a career opportunity?

            I hear that Bottomfeeder.com is looking for both an editor in chief and a press officer. You should apply (if you haven’t already been head-hunted). They have an inverse capability recruitment policy so always seek the lowest possible common denominator. Applicants that are at least 3 standard deviations left of the norm get special and preferential treatment in the application process. It fits you to a tee – lives under bridge and multiple standard deviations as well. Hope all goes well for you.

          • Greg Thrasher

            I could never be an employee again … No future in that …. Lol lol

          • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

            How feminist of you!

          • Greg Thrasher

            Yep plus I am a cross dresser I wear pink socks with my Black shirt… Lol

          • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

            Well at least you are open about having multiple issues and needs that are definitely three plus standard deviations to the left of Norm. In fact you and Norm are so estranged it beggars belief that you could have ever been acquainted let alone in a relationship.

          • Greg Thrasher

            Why is that of your concern ?

          • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

            Given your conduct and behaviour, it is the concern of many and not just myself. Please don’t allow that to flatter your ego, as the main point of concern is the welfare of others and not of you. It’s what communities do when toxic personalities (or even banalities) arrive and start to impose themselves. You would know of such social conduct if you were not so anti-social, and as I have observed, so many standard deviations away from Norm.

          • Greg Thrasher

            So in other words you resent me telling you to stop obsessing over me .. lol

          • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

            Oh how Narcissistic of you. As I said earlier, but you evidently failed to comprehend (Narcissistic deafness plus Narcissistic lack of cognition) “Please don’t allow that to flatter your ego, as the main point of concern is the welfare of others and not of you.”.

            The only interest I would have into you is as a case study on internet antisocial behaviour, and I’m sorry to to have to disabuse you – in that subject area you certainly are not worthy of obsession, as you are quite a mundane, run of the mill and quite predicable example of aberration.

            Sorry if your ego can’t cope with such revealtions – it’s an occupational hazarded you will have to deal with as a low quality only 3 Standard devastations from Norm Troll. 5+ SD may get me interest and even warrant a minor obsession, but me dear, you are not magnificent enough, no matter how much you have a fetish for Jane Wyman, Rock Hudson and medical drama.

          • Greg Thrasher

            You doth protest to much ….All of those empty sterile words clearly not meant for me must be some online group ritual you are performing to validate yourself with the peanut gallery … Pleeeese do me a favor do not let your obsession over me become a fetish ….Tee Hee

          • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

            Your narcissism is quite run of the mill – you are told that you are not of significance, expect for basic monitoring for other’s safety and welfare – and you call that an obsession and even go into sexual territory with references to Fetish. Oh, how you attempt to gain control by such poor quality shock tactics and fail so miserably. Well better luck next time – and there will always be a next time, because nothing drives a Narcissist nuttier than having their self defeat and failures highlighted and articulated to them.

            Do you just fail to grasp how mundane and run of the mill you truly are? I’d ask if this has been a life long issue for you, but with narcissism it generally becomes fixed around age 5/6. Such a lonely life for so long, completely mundane and ever so predicable.

          • Greg Thrasher

            So in other words you are retreating your exit is as forgettable as your words … Nothingness into Nothingness enjoy being ordinarily forgettable …. Lol lol lol

          • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

            Your poor quality attempts at humour become more deranged and lack even more coherency that you past ramblings. Isolation coupled with narcissism does lead to substance abuse – predictable and low grade. .

          • Greg Thrasher

            Refer to my last post nothing about is interesting nor worthy of new words …. Lol lol

          • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

            You are so delude you believe that I seek, nay crave, attention from you. How else would you explain your withholding of words (read attention) from me?

            It’s sad to find such damage individuals as you thrashing about on the net in search of attention and opportunities to control others. It’s why we watch and guard and help such poor unfortunates as you to see even glimpses of normality and what you are denied by your own psychological make up! If you were not so drunk on your own delusion as well as other substances, you could attempt to control your issues and aberration – even with professional interventions. But for that there is a need for even a smidgen of insight, which you have lacked capacity to show – coupled with an actual desire to change. Your Narcissism prevents you from that insight. It’s not sad, just the reality of your lonely damage.

            One question – when you take the hump is it one hump or two in your tea as you make a splashy flouncy exit?

          • Greg Thrasher

            Snore… I would wager your wife finds you insufferable … Let me be Pleassssssse

          • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

            That is a wager you loose – nice try at the personal attack but you even lack the basics to do some basic research about who you are addressing. Rather silly and again indicative of Narcissism, Invent reality and place it upon others.

          • Greg Thrasher

            I knew you would quickly react to my post and confirming my opinion of you …. Thanks :-)

          • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

            Again you attempt to promote the idea that you are of actual interest (Narcissistic Need) and that any opinion you express or allude to is seen as significant. As you have been told you are simply being managed for the security and welfare of others (Deflation of Ego) .

          • Greg Thrasher

            I forgot to add I am the magnet/star here nothing about you is worthy of any curiosity or inquiry …lol lol lol

          • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

            Astronomical levels of delusion where you believe the universe revolves around you. Narcissism is a lonely life aint it – but then again you would not know nay better.

          • Greg Thrasher

            Let me reiterate I am the magnet/star here ..You are not worthy of nor of any interest that would require me to do any measure of research or inquiry involving you…You boring and insufferable twit….Now run along I tire of you ..lol,lol

          • alex brown

            You are the star auntie? You are a dried up old bat who dates rats.

            You are a pitiful creature, I would feel sorry for you except for the contempt you have for men.

            You live in a society where men protect you, even indirectly. You hate men so much you are full of nothing but ingratitude.

    • Sean

      It’s not a narrative or story. The man provides solutions to misanthropic dogma. Humanism.

      • Greg Thrasher

        This is nonsense is no solution to anything it is a collection of empty and hollow pulp fiction.

        • alex brown

          Appeal to mockery, have you got anything to add Greg?

    • http://kristalgarcia.wordpress.com/ Kristal Garcia

      There is nothing divisive about this. The entire article is about how divisive feminist ideology is and is damaging both men and women.

      • Greg Thrasher

        This entire flawed narrative is a pedestrian essay barely worthy of even being posted on blogs… Lol

        • alex brown

          Are you a female? You sound a lot like that auntie character who posts on various comment sections.

          • Greg Thrasher

            You post like garden variety stalker who clings to folks of my caliber .. lol

          • Matthew Lane

            What calibre is that? Imaginary, much like the people who cling to you?

        • http://kristalgarcia.wordpress.com/ Kristal Garcia

          This article shows how women who need help refuse to go get help because of having anti-male agenda pushed on them, the men are completely ignored with nowhere to turn in domestic violence and often end up being the ones arrested when the woman batters them. This is a very big problem.

    • alex brown

      Allowing feral women to beat and abuses kids is of value?

      Do you know women use domestic violence policing against their own sons? Women even do police call outs against their own girls, because her girl refuses to take a bath!

      You are being manipulative with your empty appeals to the family.

      Domestic violence policing is terrorism, as it is political violence against men.

      • Greg Thrasher

        Your attempt at logic reveals you are lacking in that capacity … Please use better examples or just become learn to cut and paste from intelligent posters …

        • alex brown

          Saelpalani I know it is you.

          You are using the same lazy posting tactic. Assertion, ad hom, appeal to mockery, not one argument of substance, If we are lucky we get the odd post to debunked feminist studies.

  • Sean

    My journey into the unsaid paradigm started with hours of research, I came across studies that were very consistent across the western world. The majority of domestic violence is defined as mutual. Men are domestic victims of abuse by women. Children are abuse victims if women. In my own job in the media I have come across horrific instances of murder within the family perpetrated by both men an women. I have come across studies looking at PTSD in men and how it emerges in a relationship with a woman which is abusive.
    I did all this research to try and understand what I did wrong in my marriage. I searched and search constantly, because I thought I was entirely to blame. Then I saw the studies and reflected on what my mother never told me, and on what she did tell me.

  • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

    I’m so glad to see the work of Dr. Gerhard Amendt featuring here. His research into the internal operation of DV Shelters/Refuges in Germany directly echoes the experiences of both service users and their advocates in the UK and other European venues.

    Amendt’s findings and observations also echo the decades of observation from Erin Pizzey on the political agendas propagated within the DV field and how they damage people. Whilst many focus upon the effect of DV on adults (predominately women) the groups most affected is children. It’s bed enough that the have to deal with the bizarre world of living within a Domestically Abusive household, but far worse that upon escaping they end up in a venue where political indoctrination and gender bias fuether adds to their burdens.

  • http://www.genderratic.com/ Ginkgo

    “but even the term “women’s shelter” itself always implies the disastrous ideology of radical feminism, whereby relationships between men and women are characterized by their respective status as victim and perpetrator. According to that, women can do nothing and men are completely in charge. ”
    This is the hyperagency/hypoagency binary that is at the root of traditional gender norms. It’s tradtionalist and these radfems are pushing it. So much for being the revolutionaries and enemies of the old gender order they imagine themselves to be.

    • alex brown

      Violent women love playing the victim. Giving them shelters where they could validate their victim hood and have an organization to tell them they are the victim and not the abuser is very troubling.

      Why should the more violent sex get all the shelters?

      Also in the UK thanks to the DVPO, men get kicked out of their homes and on to the streets, if men are getting booted out, why all the women shelters?

      • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

        It is a major mistake to link Violence to Victim-hood in the way you have. There are far too many ways that victim-hood can be made manifest without any violence at all – The claims that women are marginalised in the workplace is claimed victim-hood – the claims of pay disparity and the misuse of statistics is Victim-hood.

        The mindset your comments portray is a feminist one where any and all female victim-hood is linked to external aggression by men, and that women lack the internal motivation of false flag emotional states and behaviour to garner support. Damselling and White Knighting are not simply linked to violence – they are linked to opportunity to have control by manipulation of social constructs.

  • markis1

    I know a woman who was actually arrested for DV ,the husband bailed her out of jail and she went immediately to a DV shelter.

    • alex brown

      Why do the husbands bail them out?

      • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

        Addictive behaviour and the psychological states that come from coercive control.

      • Mark

        Because they love them? I think it probably is as simple as that. Particularly if she’s only violent on rare occasions, during one of her off days. He justifies her actions: it’s not her that attacked me it’s her depression or it’s her pre-menstrual hormones or it’s her stress or it’s the trauma from her previous relationship in which the guy was violent (or at least that’s how she tells the story – she may leave out of that story her own part in the violence) so she’s learned pre-emptive attack as a defence reaction! The fact that she is the one being violent doesn’t stop you seeing her as the victim, and after all when she’s not violent, she’s lovely – and she praises you for your understanding and patience with her. That’s why men keep forgiving abusive women – because they love them. It’s a man’s instinct to be protective towards women that makes him vulnerable to attack.

        • mike gibbs

          Love???
          FUCK THAT! It would NEVER work the other way around- and everyone here knows it!
          Women, are indeed, meaner and more vindictive then men, but they have the full force of society to do their dirty work for then! They are physically weakand will get others to fight in their sted.

          • Mark

            I think it does happen the other way around, but women receive a lot of information warning them against that. Men don’t receive any of those messages.

            But yes, it is not incredible to me that someone can be the victim of abuse and still love the person who did the abusing. How many kids get whacked by a parent but still love the parent responsible? I’m not talking about a masochist either, I;’m talking about someone saying to their partner, “I know that’s not the real you” – particularly if the violence is intermitent with long gaps in between. It’s a variable interval schedule in behaviourist terms. Most of the time interaction with that person is rewarding. Only on rare occasions is it punishing.

        • Safi Karim

          Love? More like Stockholm syndrome

      • Vương Vi-Nhuyễn – 王微軟

        Having been in an emotional and physically abusive relationship myself I can state that ”love” can play a factor, you keep excusing yourself by thinking that she’ll show her ”good side” if you’re nice enough to her, and whatever she does to you is somehow your fault, at-least that’s how I viewed it…

  • alex brown

    I believe in ending domestic violence policing full stop.

    To protect women from violent men, we are having our due process flushed down the toilet.

    Countless violent women are allowed to beat and batter, none violent men are getting kidnapped by the police. (Since due process is now gone, arrest is considered kidnap by me now.)

    I would rather that odd man and woman get murdered than have our rights flushed down the toliet in the name of stopping those murders. I would rather live with risk of a dangerous spouse, than live with the risk of the police state. Domestic violence policing most likely increases violent, not reduce it anyway. It gives disordered females access to proxy violence. Also by getting the police involved is escalates disputes.

    • Greg Thrasher

      What a convoluted thinker guy are …. WOW do you ever read what you post??

      • alex brown

        Yes auntie, I do read what I post. Disordered females like yourself want the power to beat and abuse. They want access to proxy violence via the police as well.

        They want the police at their finger tips just for general abuse, so they can get men carted away.

        When the abuse backfires and the man fights back, they want the police to run in and save them from the fallout of their own abuse.

        I know who you are. :P Why not just admit it?

        • Greg Thrasher

          Step up your posts or Step aside … I tire of you already … Tee Hee

      • alex brown

        Saelpalani please stand up!

    • markis1

      I disagree with you.I would much rather have the police protect the man and the woman.And i have seen the police ignore violence done by women.

      • alex brown

        Police treat men like dirt, tell me how you can reform the police and stop them from killing men and boys often for no reason at all. I don’t think it can be done. Just reduce police interaction as much as possible. Let police only deal with the real serious things, keep them out of the home.

        • markis1

          I know.Our culture has to change.Where i live ,there was a time when a black man could be hanged for whistling at a white woman.Things need to change and they do change.

  • ExpatMatt

    Don’t feed the troll, y’all. S/he is not here to argue in good faith.

    • alex brown

      It is clearly Saelpalani I am going to ignore her now.

  • Graham Strouse

    Who is this Greg Thrasher nut? It can’t be a real person, right? There has to be some symbolism with this infantile choice of a nom de guerre? Who are you really, Greg? Do tell. Inquiring minds want to know. Clearly you have a beef. Maybe if you stated it plainly as yourself people would actually consider the merits of your argument. Pseudonymous ad hominem attacks will not get get you there, “Greg.”

    • Greg Thrasher

      I am not obligated to offer any explanation on my personhood … I live … I am

    • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

      Using the term “Pseudonymous ad hominem” gives Thrasher ( or more likely weak involuntary spasm or jerk) too much credibility.

      Greg Thrasher – low grade, common a garden, vagrant (flitting from venue to venue) dilettante who finishes so many sentences with intimations that they are sitting and cackling to them themselves (Tee Hee) one has to wonder what is used to line Greg’s knickers and tickles the Thrashers fancy so much!

      • Graham Strouse

        After a few posts I started to seriously wonder whether “Greg” was male or not. Men and women tend towards different forms of vitriol when they’re wound up. There’s a lot of middle ground but increasingly as I read through s/he’s posts I found myself humming “Dude Looks Like a Lady…”

        • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

          Looks like substance abuse too – the patern over the day is a little too close to Hallmark.

  • Grant

    [citations needed] – especially about women steering clear of shelters… interesting if true.

    • Dagda Mór

      • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

        Thank you so much for finding and posting this.

      • Grant

        *cringe* anecdotal evidence…. I’m gonna dig when I have some free time.

    • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

      I’ve been digging for that source and it’s eluding me. I suspect that report is valid for the USA as I have seen the same occur in the UK. Within the UK there are many Shelters/Refuges that are not linked to either Refuge or Women’s Aide and in a number of instances this has been linked to a very deliberate desire for lack of oversight. From within the DV industry vulnerable women are told to not go to certain Refuges as they are known to be highly toxic unless you share the ideologies and activates that occur within them. Some act as privately funded charities and as such they have no need for state funding in any way and so there is no mechanism for any oversight.

  • Hanuman

    Speaking of misandry, here’s that a little racism for good measure…http://youtu.be/gqdCWpUmP-Y

    • Matthew Lane

      Wow, look at how quickly she utilised her magical lady parts to cast “summon white knight.”

      • Hanuman

        Look at how she also physically threatened the man with violence “I’ll drag you out of the car..” . Really? How well does she think she’d do with that? After over 7 times of calling him a filthy racial slur, she threatens him. Point, she knew she was protected. A man would have been on the ground bleeding after the fist use of the “n” word.

        • http://www.avoiceformen.com John Narayan

          Love the way she accuses the man of freaking out the kids, wow!

          • Andrejovich Dietrich

            Yes, women have a selective interpretation of what behaviors the man exhibit which damages the child, and no behaviors from the woman is ever traumatizing. The stories I could relay from experience would curdle the most iron stomach constitution.

            And icing on the cake? I was always the unfit parent until…My oldest turned 18, no longer worth child support. And wow…Literally overnight I am now a fit parent for him to live with.

            Now that my daughter is also no longer worth child support, guess what conversations are going on?

            I like the argument from feminists that all men are concerned with is money. And yet, they are the ones who make the issue. Its great insulting someone else who is paying as being a piece of shit. Especially when the one doing the insulting is on the receiving end of the money in question.

          • http://www.avoiceformen.com John Narayan

            Wow!

          • Shamednomore

            Same here. My daughter just turned 18 and her mom is heading to the other side of the planet for adventure and employment. Its just me an her now, funny how things change when the money dries up.

          • http://www.avoiceformen.com John Narayan

            I think you daughter might join the Honey badgers some day, hint, hint.

          • Andrejovich Dietrich

            Thats my point. For some reason theres a bad assumption women are the better parent. Which is wrong in the first place. But where that assumption falls apart is after the money goes away. So she was a barely adequate parent because she was bribed?

            I made this point in court. I said, “why is she the better custodial parent requiring sole custody? She needs all this money from me to be a parent. And yet if the children lived with me I wouldn’t require anything from her.” Guess how well that piece of logic went over in court?

          • Shamednomore

            No doubt, your argument went over poorly in court, but I have often wondered the same thing myself. She, with twice the education as myself, who is lacking the ability or inclination to work in any meaningful way and who can only think of herself, she is the better parent!

          • Andrejovich Dietrich

            And another logic fail is that the woman is the one breaking up the family unit. Did the woman put the children first when she was out committing adultery? Is she considering the children by throwing the father out of the house? Is the woman truly putting the children first while engaging in PAS so her own failings don’t get questioned by her children as they grow up and realize what truly happened?

            My ex admitted under questioning by the judge as engaging in PAS actively even as early as the morning she was coming in to court. And all she got from the Judge was a lecture on respecting the other parent. And then the fucker turns to me and reiterates the lecture. Like WTF? I never spoke ill of the children’s mother in front of the children. Up to 7 years after the divorce, my kids thought that I was the one who cheated and caused the breakup of the marriage. I never corrected this impression until they were in their teens. I was the only one adhering to Judges instructions. But zero consequence to mommy dearest.

          • Shamednomore

            The courts are the worst possible places to look after the needs of the family. Perhaps we should have a family health services organization committed to all things family ie strengthening relationships, managing family break up, domestic violence etc etc. At least health professionals who do understand personality disorders and have human interpersonal behavioural knowledge will be tasked to deal with the problems.

          • http://www.avoiceformen.com John Narayan

            Women have a selective everything said selection changes from second to second!

            NAWALT

        • http://www.avoiceformen.com John Narayan

          I almost wrote a play called the The Vagina Monologues based on this video, but Google tells me the title is taken.

      • http://www.avoiceformen.com John Narayan

        Yes I noticed that as well, every bully is a coward underneath. So glad we have modern technology, 50 years ago the man would have been lynched, as we know females are made of suger and spice.

        To think some idiot married that bitch! Arrrrrrrrrrr!

        • http://www.avoiceformen.com John Narayan

          If AVfM can get either or both of these men of the show I will donate $500 to AVfM.

        • Vương Vi-Nhuyễn – 王微軟

          Unfortunately the whole ”bullies are cowards” stereotype is not true, I have always been bullied as a kid, and my parents and sister told me to beat ‘em up, so I actually beat up a few bullies and instead of leaving me alone they came back with larger numbers or manipulated the stories to make me sound ”provocative”, bullies are just mean, but a coward would stop if you scare them, bullies come back, they’d even laugh if you’d beat ‘em up (or I am just unfortunate enough to come across the psychotic types… -_- )

          • http://www.avoiceformen.com John Narayan

            They came back in a larger number, that is even more cowardly. The gutless wonder ringleader is a super coward.

            Someone that is not a coward would make it a fair fight, someone that is not a coward world be sporting about it. A classic coward trait is violence by proxy ie manipulation. The hallmark of a coward is one or a group that gets others to do their dirty work for them ie feminists. I have seen cowards when they don’t have their troops, gang around, they normally turn into complete gutless wonders.

            The common hallmark of ALL cowards/bullies is they don’t play fair, look for this and you won’t go wrong. Cowards never play fair and are always unsporting. Cowards often are afraid of themselves not just the rest of the world, hence their projection.

            A secure brave person that is happy most of the time has no need to bully, and if they do have a gripe they will challenge you to a fight in a boxing ring with a qualified judge, some of the better private schools still do this here in Australia. A coward will not enter the ring, they don’t have the guts to play fair.

          • alex brown

            That sounds cowardly to me.

            You can scare bullies, but that is not a topic for this place! lol. Thankfully I have grown past having to deal with people like that.

  • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

    I have been asked how it’s possible for a DV shelter/refuge to become a Hot Bed Of Misandry and how people both working in such venues and using them as an escape could possibly allow this.

    I have to recommend the following book to any and all readers – The Lucifer Effect – Dr Phillip Zimbardo – 2007

    “In The Lucifer Effect, we examined how social situations lead ordinary people to commit unimaginable acts of violence, discrimination, and indifference to the suffering of others. Many of us hope that if we were placed in such situations, we would be the courageous ones who resist unjust authority, who are immune to compliance tactics, and who never abandon our core beliefs and principles in the face of social pressures. However, the reality is we can never predict our actions without being placed in similar situations. This is one of the recurring themes of “The Lucifer Effect” and something that should not be lost on us as we make everyday decisions.

    The Social Psychology of groups and how dangerous it can be is best illustrated by looking at the work of Dr Philip Zimbardo – The Stanford Prison Experiment (1971). Place two groups in an enclosed institutional setting, impose roles and let the abuse start. The patterns of such abuse have been identified over and over. Most recently in the UK there has been the expose issues of Winterbourne View Hospital (Bristol ) with Disabled people abused over and over and then Abuse of Elderly Adults in care settings – police arrest and prosecutions following.

    * BBC News – Winterbourne View: Abuse footage shocked nation
    * BBC Panorama: Undercover: Elderly Care

    The number of times I have observed/witnessed employees of Women’s Aide (UK) manifest the same coercive control over DV victims is staggering, from belittling and telling people they don’t know their own minds and reality through to Full On Verbal and Physical Threat and Assault, because the DV Victim would not play the roles assigned and required of the employee within the institution.

    All too often it is not the DV Victim who is institutionalised, it is the Refuge Worker/Manager/Chief Executive. That are institutionally blind to the abuse they perpetrate due to the mindset that they could not possibly be wrong and they are empowered to save and control others to meet a higher goal.

    Women who have been inside such shelters/refuges have also reported that they were bullied into accepting the organisations world view and were obliged to play along (most often for the welfare of their children) until they could escape. Literally, all reported gate-keeping activity by Women’s Aide employees in access to rehousing and moving on, where access was linked to your acceptance of the Institutional Mindset required over any need and personal autonomy. Many report that they would never have any further dealing with Women’s Aide under any circumstances due to the way they were treated by supposed helpers and saviours, but in reality subjected to secondary Domestic Abuse, psychological control and institutionalisation.

    Gate Keeping activates include access to Legal Services, Housing, Child Protective Services, Social Services, Financial Benefits (Social Security), Charitable Aide – good role playing is rewarded with support to gain access and positive report to organisations. Failure to role play or denial of role is met with obstruction of access, negative report and obstruction of exit from within the Shelter’s/Refuge’s controlling environment. I have seen this activity result in Disable DV escapees being dumped on the kerbside when they had to ask why the organisation and staff were not complying with UK legislation of Disability Discrimination and why they were falsely claiming to be fully wheelchair accessible when the organisation had ripped out all adaptations from rooms designed by architects to meet international disability accessible standards. When a group of disabled women within the refuge started to co-operate in raising the Discrimination Issues they were all targeted with abuse to stop them exercising lawful rights and protections. All were either evicted or driven from the refuge/shelter within a matter of days with false accusations made of mental instability, aggression, refusal to comply with contact/rules etc. The pattern was highly developed, routine and well oiled in action, with authorities simply accepting any claim made from within the institution. Police officers have even admitted that they have been aware of the abuse occurring against women within the venues and been unable to act, due to more senior officers positions that such abuse could not be occurring. There is a close correlation between police rank, longevity of service and belief that DV is impossible within Refuge/Shelters and abuse simply can’t occur. That is cult like mentality and linked to indoctrination, not evidence or quality policing or law enforcement.

    Escapees from the institutionalised setting of refuges often report the operation of gangs within the refuges – groups of women who have accepted the role given to them who then act as lower grade enforcers against women who refuse to conform. The co-opting of DV victims to become abusers is one of the most pernicious routes to abuse as the employees can claim they have no role or responsibility for such activity.

    Repeated use of mechanisms as simple as the front door and access to the building are used to induce threat, fear and control. Many ex-users have reported how they were deliberately ignored and left outside of the building with staff not allowing access. The women had to buzz to gain access, the staff ignored her and her children leaving them in a highly visible and dangerous situation in public. Only after extended delay or the arrival of another person needing access did the staff allow access. When queried why the delay occurred the staff claim that they were absent from the office, were unaware of the person outside etc. When speaking to the women and children who experienced and witnessed these behaviours and suffered under them, it was reported that everyone within the Shelter/Refuge was aware of how threat and manipulation by staff was occurring, and how individuals were singled out and targeted. They also reported that specific staff were known to be involved in these activities and so women would arrange to return to the refuge at the same time as way to thwart the abuse and protect each other. The primary result was unfortunately to have more people targeted and the employees ganging up to stop the protective controlling behaviour of the women using the shelter/refuge.

    In the worst cases it is explicitly evident that Highly Narcissistic Employees within Shelters/Refuges seek revenge when their “perfect image” is in anyway damaged by any service user who does not agree with and play along with the whole structure of All Men Bad and Only Women Good (no matter how negative the females actions, mindset and coercion of others). When a DV victim decided to remove themselves (escape) from such a toxic environment there is then the ultimate abuse which is to label them as suffering psychological/psychiatric imbalance to attack their credibility as reporters of abuse from within any refuge/shelter setting. When having to turn to secondary services for support and enquiries are made of the Shelter/Refuge for the person’s conduct whilst there, false report is made to both protect the abuser and still exercise control from a distance. This is a pattern of domestic abusers and yet not recognised if it’s a Shelter/Refuge employee acting as abuser.

    Given that it has been known for over 40 years that enclosed institutional settings with disparity in power leads to abuse and coercive behaviour, why is that reality not linked to Refuges/Shelters run by women for women? There is a Cult Like mentality and view of Women and Domestic Violence which is being used to cover up the reality of abuse behind closed doors.

    That abuse is also affecting many children with women with male children reporting negative attitudes compared to women with female children. That refuges/Shelters in the UK ban male children from age 9 up is just about the most highly visible negative view of the male. It seems that male children are automatically programmed to be abusers, but that does not apply to female children? The complete lack of grasp of psychology that this imbalance identifies is just about the largest red flag there is concerning the unbalanced and openly Misandric philosophy that rules across the unregulated DV industry in the Western World.

    Why are so many blind to reality and welcoming of the mythology, being complicit in allowing the Lucifer effect to empower abuse of so many behind closed doors – and worse still in open sight in public?

    The sooner there is full inquiry into the operation of all Women’s Aide and DV shelter/Refuge organisations across the UK the better, with full independent safeguards in place to protect service users – especially the children – from being re-abused by a mix of psychology and political dogma that hides privately behind state funded doors and is trusted simply because it apes the role of Mother.

    • Chris Wedge

      Man, I’d adore the hard video evidence of this.

    • alex brown

      “Given that it has been known for over 40 years that enclosed institutional settings with disparity in power leads to abuse and coercive behaviour, why is that reality not linked to Refuges/Shelters run by women for women? There is a Cult Like mentality and view of Women and Domestic Violence which is being used to cover up the reality of abuse behind closed doors.”

      sounds like the state in general to me. I have been on the receiving end of female gate keeping in real life, not enjoyable at all.

  • sé do bheatha a bhaile

    This most excellent author has also been published in New Male Studies with an article called, “Feminism: The new prudery”. It can be found on google.

    • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

      Sexism: The New Prudery?
      Gerhard Amendt

      Abstract

      The delusion of sexism not only denies that eroticism creates and maintains relationships. It also attempts to unmask eroticism as an instrument of male domination and to replace it with the belief that men are perpetrators and women their victims, and that the sexes are bonded together solely by male dominance rather than arrangements. The ideology of sexism is intended to anchor guilt feelings in every man over his potential status as perpetartor. As a result, sexism can only be experienced by women. This ideological belief system disparages the importance of everything personal. It is therefore argued, that the ultimate goal is to defend eroticism as the most highly developed form of civilized boundary crossing in intimate relationships against condemnatory feminism

      http://newmalestudies.com/OJS/index.php/nms/article/view/70

  • alex brown

    Feminists don’t want to destroy the family, they want to destroy male access to the family. They want to reduce them to atomized isolated sub humans. The family will be a hostage unit, to serve the needs of the female.

    • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

      To be fair the concept of the reduction of the family in society is a Marxist concept and central tenant. The reason the same views appear so readily within Feminism is that it’s just Marxism for women. Erin Pizey has been highlighting this issue for 40 years and she was there at the outset – she’s not just spouting theory and rhetoric she’s reporting history.

      http://youtu.be/Ix5-jqQYU1M

      • alex brown

        “To be fair the concept of the reduction of the family in society is a Marxist concept and central tenant”

        Citation needed, or I will consider that bare assertion. Please show me writings by Marx where he wants to reduce the family?

        The current capitalist system is doing pretty well in reducing the family. This is nothing to do with capitalism but human nature though, just like Marxism is nothing to do with feminism, but it is feral female nature unleashed with no restraints.

        • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

          @a Alex Brown – You evidently lack the capacity to use google so here is a pre-formatted link to assist you https://www.google.com/search?q=Marxism+family&oq=Marxism+family

          If you want full length discourse and citation, the comment section is the wrong place for that. I’ll take is that you lack of grasp of that is due to your lack of exposure to NEtiquette and lack of experience on-line. We all have to start somewhere after all!

          By the way – using the term “Bare Assertion” as you have is linked to blocking language and Thought-Terminating Cliche. Do look up and read “Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism”, Robert Jay Lifton, M.D., 1961. It helps to avoid net cliché and looking like a control freak when it’s not your intention.

          • alex brown

            You are condensing. If you had links to your empty assertion you would of provided them.

            I’ve read all of Marx’s works, I obviously don’t remember every single part, now tell me where he wrote down his plans to reduce the family unit?

            You are making bare assertions.

            Please don’t project your hang ups onto me. For example the accusation of control freak is pure projection.

            I suspect you to be a right wing version of a feminist, the typical defeat the left conspiracy theorist, am I correct in my guess?

          • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

            Ales Brown says “I suspect you to be a right wing version of a feminist, the typical defeat the left conspiracy theorist, am I correct in my guess?”

            Answer: No!

          • Mark

            Stalinist perhaps instead of Marxist. But I think the problem is that the feminists tried to apply the Marxist model, which was designed specifically to discuss the problem of workers and capitalists, was being applied to men and women, with men being the capitalists obviously, and the women being the oppressed. It’s easy to see without trying too hard that that is a bad fit. It’s not a good analogy on any level.

            Even when I was respectful of the feminist movement I always thought of sex-negative feminists (that I didn’t like) as “the red-sash brigade” thinking of the Junior Anti-Sex League of 1984. Reading Christine Hoff Sommers accounts of her dealings with feminists in NOW, I found myself thinking “wow, this is Orwellian!”

            So – think Stalinism. Not Marxism in principal as written, but as it manifested in practice.

          • alex brown

            Females behave more like the bourgeoisies than men do, that is one flaw in the feminist model.

            Class oppression models have some truth to them, but they are applied to simplistically to the real world. What does oppression even mean? Feminists have made the word meaningless by other use, the word has extended to other groups like LGBT too.

          • Mark

            Marxists (not Marx himself but those influenced by him) put emotional investment in words that have no emotional investment. “Exploit” is one – exploit is synonymous with the word use (which sounds moderately negative) and employ (which doesn’t sound negative at all). So we’ll hear workers are being exploited, and we’re all supposed to say “oh no, that’s terrible.” and only the skeptic who is aware of the manipulation will think to say “are the conditions of their exploitation fair or unfair? Because that’s the real issue, isn’t it?” Because my labour IS a resource, if someone doesn’t exploit it, it’s going to waste, isn’t it?

          • john galt

            What does oppression even mean?
            (as a trending process of thought in my own head)

            a nuanced subjective state requiring interpretive affirmation to validate an actionable result as politically systemic or personally delusional. (shall we change policy or medicate?)

            Individuals cannot establish “a” context of oppression as a personal or autonomous experience without validation. Groups however can establish “the” context of oppression by mutual validation.

            Ultimately it is why women demand access to male space, to interrupt and remove the process of male validation.

            It seems Alex your request for citation is the validation apex. It matters little whether Marx said it or not, if the policies initiated by his manifesto through the process of validation result in a particular outcome, his politics share that responsibility. In the same way feminism bears responsibility for the outcome of policies initiated by their own validation process.

            It strikes me that for all the efforts made within the mRm validation has been the missing ingredient. Men should validate each other and stop looking for validation from feminism, ms media, and to some extent women or rather “the feminine.”

          • alex brown

            “It seems Alex your request for citation is the validation apex. It matters little whether Marx said it or not, if the policies initiated by his manifesto through the process of validation result in a particular outcome, his politics share that responsibility. In the same way feminism bears responsibility for the outcome of policies initiated by their own validation process.”

            No I am just requesting proof. Current political correctness mania is not Marxism. It is something Marxism has allied with, but it would exist without Marxism.

            Conservatives in the USA introduced no fault divorce and introduced the current child support payment system. They have done more than Karl Marx to break up the family unit.

            At the end of the day though, it is female nature that has broken up the family unit, not any political movement.

          • john galt

            I tend to view political ideologies as a delivery system for entitlement and hate. While they may not be the missile itself without them targeting is irrelevant.

          • Vương Vi-Nhuyễn – 王微軟

            Indeed, ”oppression” to many gender-feminists is even leaving the toilet seat up, and when I was in the Philippines as a man who always puts the seat down in a household of 3 women who leave it up ¿could I consider myself oppressed by them? according to Feminists I can *sarcastic thumbs up*.

        • Vương Vi-Nhuyễn – 王微軟

          Thank you, as a Revisionist Marxist this comment is long-awaited and welcomed, female hypergamy and unrestrained is not about social equality as SOCIALists stand for, it stands for supremacy which can be found in hate groups rather than ideologies, but Feminism itself is an ideology based on misandry rather than the actual advancement of women and girls (otherwise they wouldn’t intend on destroying the lives of innocent women and girls in the process, or they believe in ”collateral damage”)

          • alex brown

            Marxism has failed badly Vuong. The entire left is full of mangina’s from anarchists to slightly left of centre liberals. Left wing progressive politics has harmed working class men, that is worse than failing them.

            Post modernism, feminism, political correctness, these are all poisons that destroy social movements. Victimhood politics only work for those groups already considered valuable by society, so it is a way for the privileged to barge other groups out and make it about themselves.

  • Andrejovich Dietrich

    Its an interesting little Catch 22 Feminists have created for men. The women are free to go off on psychopathic rants and actually assault men. Every one laughs at the man as being a wuss if injured. of course somehow the man is supposed to be invincible to taser’s, pots, pans ,knives, and a moving vehicle. if he responds, no matter how measured a response, he is considered a batterer of women.

    Its like how the family courts work: A man cheats on a woman, the judge declares. “You son of a bitch. You broke up the family and must pay”. If a woman cheats on a man, the judge declares. “You insensitive prick, you drove your wife into the arms of another man(or woman). You must pay.”

    And in either situations a nut job feminist whines “its Patriarchy!”.

    Some how I think they are confusing Patriarchy with Misandric Matriarchy. In what mirror dimension has the man losing either way an example of Patriarchy?

    • ExpatMatt

      The mirror dimension of male privilege instead of male disposability.

      • Andrejovich Dietrich

        This whole thing is something out of a badly written SciFi movie. Wouldnt it be funny if someone wrote a screenplay with that as the theme. And its written along the lines of that Jet Li movie “The One”…

        I was going to produce a short story CGI using the voices from the original Planet of the Apes movie and Taylor actually landed back on Earth where the Damn Dirty Feminists were in charge. Or had actually achieved their goal where only 10% of the population were men and totally subjugated. And Civilization had totally come apart.

  • http://menaregood.com/ Tom Golden

    Well said. Very happy to hear that the shelters in Germany are being subjected to scientific study. As long as the researchers aren’t radical feminists then all should be well.

    Thanks also for your research on this issue. I look forward to hearing more about your textbook which would likely be the first non-biased text on this issue. Excellent!

    btw great word “irenic.” I had to look it up! Love it.

    • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

      Tom there is a fascinating set of videos from Canada Court watch spilling the beans about life inside a DV refuge in Canada. BOy do they need expert analysis and insight they are staggering in the detail and revelations of patterns of control and abuse.

  • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

    Exposing the morally corrupt women’s shelter industry in Canada.
    from Canada Court Watch
    http://vimeo.com/745927

  • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

    Exposing the women’s shelter industry ONE VIDEO AT A TIME!
    from Canada Court Watch
    http://vimeo.com/790290

  • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

    Exposing the morally corrupt women’s shelter industry – one video at a time! A child’s perspective.
    from Canada Court Watch
    http://vimeo.com/864606

  • Hanuman

    Really sorry about that man. But hey..”male privilege”!

  • https://twitter.com/TicklishQuill Isaac T. Quill

    I rediscovered this little gem which has been used by a number of writers escaping the toxicity of collusion in abuse within The feminist DV Industry. It was coined in 1999 in criticism of the abuse and internal politics of Ms Mag by someone using the name “Gloria Stymied” (Aka Jennifer Baumgardner):

    “Battered Women’s Movement Syndrome” – it “occurs when feminists have grown so exhausted and defensive from years of dyke-baiting, internalized homophobia, Pat Robertson, and reading that they are dead in Time magazine, that they stop telling the truth in order to ‘protect feminism.”.

    Wake Up and Smell the Estrogen — The Return of Ms. Magazine

  • markis1

    I do not know.

  • john galt

    Although this article is insightful and somewhat of an apologetic interpretation of the very institutions that the author supported and forwarded, I question whether such people should be jettisoned when applying solutions. We are where we are because people like this compromised their own credentials and integrity for the prevailing political wind. I’m just not sure how much I trust political ballast with flexible credentials.

    It strikes me that feminism very early welcomed political agitators with alternate agendas. The process they have used over the years to dehumanize men is equal to the process used by governments to create internment camps. Domestic violence shelters are the internment camps financed to deliver a political message of hate against men rather than service a social problem.

    I don’t think the solution can be achieved without removing the political agitators from the process. They need to turn off the funding until these centers can provide a legitimate mission statement that serves the problem and can be audited for results. Anything less is an assault on the community. IMO

  • Vương Vi-Nhuyễn – 王微軟

    This article gave me some good insight on how life around me functions, most people I know (including myself) have had physically abusive mothers as children, and in household where fathers were present the father said that he was ”above violence”, note that almost everyone I know from ”the previous” generation (for example my parents, my girl-friend/fiancée, the parents of my friends) have been abused by both parents, and of my generation the non-Europeans have been abused mostly by their mothers, I remember my first-girlfriend who deeply loved her father, but never felt the same for her mother, her mother used to beat her, while her father never did.

    When we fantasized together about our future children we agreed that if the children ever needed to be ”disciplined” that she would do it as I swore that I’d never hit my children, while she said that it’s ”the mother’s job”, note that we both were never hit by our respective fathers, it was normal to us, in retrospect I wouldn’t accept it of any woman today, my fiancée was hit by her parents growing up, to her she never saw what was wrong with it, spanking is considered ”normal” in the Philippines, the Netherlands prior to the 1970’s, Latin-America, and most cultures in the world, of-course today we know better and many call non-abusive parents ”soft”, the comment section of 9GAG where a pro-abusive post reaches the hot-page is filled with how ”teaching children to fear other people” isn’t teaching people how to respect others.

    A part of this politically un-neutral stance is that it teaches young girls and boys that violence by the mother is not bad, in retrospect I can see myself in this, I rarely saw anything bad about women hitting their children until a few years ago (even though I knew it was, and even called it abuse, note that whenever I told my mother this she would threaten to kill me before I could even pick up the phone to call child protective services), teachers in my country are prohibited from ever hitting children, I’ve had 2 male, and 2 female teachers that hit their pupils/students, and these were all in schools for children with mental illnesses, I hope that this voice of reason from Dr. Gerhard Amendt won’t go unheard.

    :-)

  • Bastet

    This is utterly ridiculous! What is needed is mens shelters. Separating the perpetrator from the abused is tantamount to safety.

  • Mark

    I think you’re misunderstanding me. Feminists adopted the Marxist model, but applied it to gender; that doesn’t mean Marxists apply that model to gender. Marxists specifically apply that model to class (which is the subject the model was intended to be applied to).