Chester_Himes_memorial,_Moraira

The Expatriate Solution

The current, quiet expatriate phenomenon in the United States comprises the newest wave of migrants trying to escape some form of adversity or oppression. This migration from the United States deals primarily with men’s issues, specifically the erosion of men’s rights in the country. Public opinion probably stands against the men’s movement, although I have not asked and do not care. The trend is not new. It has been developing over the last twenty years or so, and to paraphrase an old adage: expatriates are not born; they are made. I know because I became one of them.

Leaving my country, however, does not mean that I do not love it. I do, as I am sure do most expats, including men’s advocates. In my case, I reached the point where I could no longer endure the depression, anger and fear generated by the currently dominant social class in the United States: feminists. More importantly, I saw no possibility for positive change. The situation was, in fact, worsening.

As the African American expatriate writer Chester Himes said of his experiences with racial bigotry and hatred in the United States, there seemed no other option but to leave. Leaving is what I did, to my social and emotional benefit; however, that drastic act took a long time to germinate. What makes an expatriate? Usually it is a process rather than a single event. Here is an honest presentation of a small percentage of the experiences that led to my eventual expatriation from the United States.

I used to be a feminist. As a young boy during the late 1960s to early 1970s, I began to write stories. To encourage and help me, my father taught me to observe life, places and people carefully. What I saw in my lower-middle-class neighborhood was a lot of people—my parents and my friends’ parents—working very hard to support their families, with little time or energy or incentive left to support their marriages. Those spouses seemed to love each other, more or less, but they spent little time alone with each other. After working hard all day day—and sometimes part of the night at second jobs—the men, devoted fathers, spent what little free time they had exhausted in front of the television or outside on the porch chatting with each other while the mothers prepared supper or washed the dishes. The men talked football or baseball, not men’s issues. Men’s rights had not yet become an issue.

Men had all the rights, including the right to work themselves to a heart attack or stroke, the exclusive right to die in any upcoming war, the right to shoulder the stress of financially supporting a growing family and, especially for African American and Latino men, the right to be ‘first in-last out’ in any incarceration situation. The mothers spent their free time during the day chatting with each other in front of the house or sitting in front of the television. The only truly loving couple I saw was my grandparents. Of the others, my parents and neighbors, I saw very little affection but no abuse.

Nevertheless, I noticed that women and Black, Latino and Asian people had fewer rights, fewer educational opportunities and lower salaries than men in general and white men in particular. I also noticed that Black and Latino men had fewer rights, fewer educational opportunities and lower salaries in general than white women. It all seemed so unfair, so unjust, but nothing like what the feminists rant about today. Some of those things they complain about happened somewhere, I suppose, but not in my neighborhood. The violence and abuse I saw in my neighborhood involved gang fights—frustrated boys fighting each other in the street—and police brutality: officers of the law beating boys and men because they were not white or wealthy, as far as I could see.

On two occasions before my sixteenth birthday, police officers threatened to shoot me. I attended a prep school. I was not in a gang, but I did have long hair. Even with the police threats, I suppose I got off easy. A female police officer shot and killed a friend of mine from the neighborhood. He was about fifteen at the time, and he bled to death on the steps of his home, three houses down from where I lived. Police and gangs were local problems, but I saw no signs of violence in the neighborhood homes.

We heard no screaming or crashing sounds coming from houses at night. We saw no swollen, black eyes or bruises on anyone’s mother. Only one wife in the neighborhood, the mother of one of my friends, left the home, but not because of abuse. Her husband never hit her. They seemed reasonably happy with each other and secure in their home and family. Then my friend’s mother began to change. She needed to “find her identity,” the new feminist slogan. The couple started to argue. She got a job. Then, she moved out. They found her about six months later in the cellar of an abandoned house, not too far from the neighborhood. Her dead body was surrounded by opened cans of dog and cat food. That incident was my first true, personal experience with the ideological aspect of feminism and its effects on middle-class women and families.

My father was faithful and never yelled at or hit my mother, and I saw very little infidelity or yelling among the neighbors. The exception was one of my other friends’ mothers on the block who cheated on her husband and got pregnant by another man. They didn’t divorce; the husband accepted the child. In fact, I only recall one divorce in the neighborhood during my entire childhood and adolescence.

My grandfather was a good man, and my grandmother let him know it with her own attentive kindness. He was faithful and religious (they both were), but not closed-minded. He never yelled at or hit my grandmother. What I remember most of my grandparents is their love and mutual support. My grandmother kept the house clean, the clothes washed, and she cooked. My grandfather “kept the house from falling down,” as my grandmother put it. He did all of the plumbing, electrical work, painting, roofing, carpentry and lawn work, generally on Saturdays, and my grandmother appreciated it. In fact, they obviously appreciated and loved each other. They went to church together on Sunday mornings and shared a full quart of ice cream at the kitchen table on Saturday or Sunday afternoon while they talked or watched a ball game. I admired them both for their relationship.

Other couples seemed to put all of their energy into the house, the job and the kids, mostly the latter two. I saw nothing wrong with any of that. I also knew that I didn’t want it. I thought it grossly unfair somehow that women seemed to have no other option but to be bored housewives, and men seemed to have no other option but to work themselves to death at dead-end jobs that were either very boring, very stressful—my father’s case—or dangerous. I wanted something better. I wanted an interesting career. I wanted a wife who would be interesting because she also had an interesting career. I wanted to treat my future wife with a lot more attention and affection than I saw the neighborhood men treating their wives.

I believed in faithfulness in relationships, something that, for me, went without saying. I wanted a wife who would treat me better—with more attention and affection and support—than the neighborhood women treated their husbands, my parents included and my grandparents excepted. I wanted a wife like my grandmother (maybe a bit thinner and sexier). In all of that, I thought that women should have the same rights, opportunities and pay as men doing the same job. I looked for and longed for something like that in a future relationship. Feminism was just coming of age when I started college, so I got off to a bad start.

My first girlfriend cheated on me. I wasn’t really in love, so I ended the relationship without much pain. My second girlfriend, who I met at the university dormitory and did love, cheated on me four times in two years—four times of which I am certain. Still, I did not follow the feminist lead and hate all women. I didn’t think badly of any of them, except those two. I didn’t talk badly of them or to them. I did not condemn an entire sex for the actions of a few members, as many but not all women do to men. However, I distanced myself from serious relationships for a few years and just dated around. I was no MHRA; I just didn’t want to get burned again. I suppose the campus feminists thought I was one of those men who are afraid of commitment. After two bad experiences with commitments, I was scared. However, I still had hope. Men’s issues were not yet on the agenda.

At the university, one nice, pretty, religious Campus Crusade for Christ member seemed to be interested in me. I found out later that she lied. She faked interest in me to try to recruit me and “save” me. I’m Catholic, so I didn’t need saving or her. After dropping out of the university due to a lack of funds and interest, I lived and worked near a military base. I noticed some women referring to men as pigs (aside from the cop reference), and I thought they were talking about the relatively few men who did act like pigs in a way similar to the way men and women referred to the few bad women as bitches and gold-diggers. The eighties had begun; attitudes were changing, and opportunities were presenting themselves to women eager to take them up.

I met one beautiful, career Navy seaman (seaperson?) at my apartment complex. I offered her dinner. She said that she would accept on one condition: “That I can spend the night.” I saw no ring and agreed. The next morning, when I expressed an interest in seeing her again, she informed me that she was married to a guy who lived in their hometown in the South—I don’t remember which state. A couple of weeks later, I met a guy in a bar. The night was early, and women were scarce at that hour, so we struck up a conversation. Through cross-referencing details, I found out that he had also screwed that same career Navy woman. My hope slipped a bit.

I returned to college in the late eighties. Finishing my bachelor’s degree in English went well enough. However, when I entered graduate school for my master’s in English in 1990, things were changing rapidly. Suddenly, women did not need men; men were the enemy. “Every man is responsible for the problems of all women,” is what a female graduate supervisor told me once. I pointed out the bigotry of her statement. The university provost was a woman. The university president was a woman. The English department head was a woman, and my tutoring center supervisor was a woman. In addition, I had seen men, mostly white men, homeless and begging on the street. My female office mate told me: “Things are going to be different when women are in charge.” I wondered: different how and for whom? I married a feminist. I did love her, sort of, but also, I thought I could find nothing better. My life at that time was centered on university life. I knew few people outside of it.

I settled for the best I thought was available. At least she had long hair and did not talk badly about men all the time. She even defended me against some of the more rabid feminist attacks that I endured in creative writing classes. Nevertheless, social oppression is cumulative, including in a marriage. Once, I told my wife that something she did hurt me, and she said to me: “It’s too bad because that’s the way I want it.” That told me what she thought of me, but I saw no way out. My feminist wife was in charge, and things were different for me: worse. I still saw feminist bigotry as something personal and universal in relationships, the worst of it limited to English departments on university campuses. Only later did I see it as something institutional, but for me, at that time, like for most men I knew, national borders were my borders. I was angry and depressed, but not yet afraid, not yet an MHRA. Political correctness was merely an annoyance. Feminist bigotry at work was not really dangerous as long as I kept my mouth shut and my eyes off the tits. Divorce offered relief. Alone, everything would be better, I thought.

One day, I went to the hospital of a major California healthcare provider for professors and other state workers. (I won’t name it directly; I still sometimes worry about feminist reprisals and attacks.) I was there for something routine, the flu or something, and I paused before a large poster I saw in a corridor on the ground floor. The photo showed a black youth of about late high school age, wearing a track suit. The caption, in large letters, said: “If you really want to see how fast he can run, tell him you’re pregnant.”

I stood before that movie poster-sized image for a long time. I remember feeling numb. I suddenly knew how it must have felt to see Ku Klux Klan parades pass on some main street in Alabama or to be Jewish in late 1930s Berlin and see a huge Swastika banner hanging as a backdrop to a Nazi rally. I realized that United States feminist bigotry—the man hate—had become institutionalized, had gone mainstream. University sanctioned bigotry was one thing; government sanctioned bigotry was dangerous. The migraines started about then.

I tried an experiment to test the premise behind the poster at the unnamed hospital. Over the next week, I frequented the local mall after teaching. While strolling, I counted the number of young men I saw with children. I only included youths who looked to be about late high school age—as in the poster—and the child he cared for had to look to be his. In the first three days, I counted twenty-seven black boys who looked to be younger than twenty-one and had a child in tow that seemed to be their son or daughter. Maybe the poster is only sexist toward men and not also racist. I counted all the young men of any race I saw with children. Going into the second week, I got to over forty. When I started counting young couples who seemed no older than twenty and who were with children, the total passed fifty.

On the other side of the issue, you may refer to the article by Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks, “New American Bar Association Article Points to Crisis in False paternity Judgments,” (originally published in the Baltimore Sun 20 August 2006. Or read the article by Edward Steven Nunes “Those who commit Paternity Fraud are almost never punished” (updated 16 September 2012). Nunes says: “Paternity fraud is probably much higher than currently claimed. For an example, some laws restrict the use of paternity tests because of the presumption of paternity in marriage. In other instances, the law may restrict the use of paternity tests to preserve the family if the truth would become known. Also some laws may restrict the use of paternity tests to ensure that the father will continue to support the family that may not be of his making.”

I recall two occasions when young women tried to get me to have sex with them because they wanted to get pregnant. One woman, my first girlfriend who cheated on me, said, “Let’s do it now. I want to have a baby.” In United States feminist society, however, sexist attitudes toward men, such as displayed by the hospital, triumph. As I came to understand that, my ties to the country loosened. My sense of freedom, safety and equality dwindled.

My sense of job security also suffered. I experienced several instances of subtle or direct prejudice against men–some against me directly–that foretold of worse things to come. For example, during my doctoral program in English, I did my teaching practicum for my ESL certificate in the university’s English Language Institute. When I started my program, the director of the institute was a man, and the regular faculty was divided more or less equally between men and women. A female director took over. Within three semesters, the faculty was all female, except for one gay male teacher. I was not mistreated directly at that university; everyone was nice (as long as I kept my mouth shut). Most of the anti-male sexism I endured, in fact, came from my female students. In addition, a woman had recruited me for my doctoral program. Nevertheless, I saw where things were heading.

Just after I divorced the feminist, I took a vacation to Columbia on the advice of a female Spanish teacher, a friend of mine. The people, especially the women, were wonderful. The migraines abated for those three weeks. During that vacation another world of possibilities opened, triggered by a conversation I had with a young lady there. I met a nice girl at the hotel there in Bogotá. She was just about twenty years old but proved much wiser than some much older female English graduate students I had known in the United States. The young Colombian lady and I were having a discussion of relationships, and it seemed to us that chauvinism and feminism were two sides of the same coin: both arrogant, abusive and condescending toward the opposite sex.

When I told my new friend of the United States feminist attitudes toward equality and their claims that men were unnecessary, she said to me: “Of course men and women are equal, but we still need each other.” At that instant, I decided that someday soon, I would leave the United States.

That “someday” came ten years later. Upon returning from my Colombian vacation, I began to research my options more thoroughly and to study Spanish more intensely. I looked into everything from foreign exchange programs (teacher and student) to ESL certificates to foreign dating clubs to employment by USA companies in other countries. I saved money. I began to plan, rather leisurely, to leave the country for a Latin or Asian country where men were treated with more equality and dignity. I stopped dating United States women. I no longer went to clubs unless it was on a date with a foreign lady. I traveled more, learning about other cultures as well as teaching options in other countries. I continued writing fiction. I continued to teach. Ironically, two foreign women changed my leisurely moving plan to one of immediate action.

At the time, I was teaching college level literature and ESL. During an ESL conversation class, a second level female student from Cuba said during a class discussion on relationships: “If my boyfriend pisses me off, I am going to call the police.” Her diction was a bit higher than level II, and her words sounded rehearsed. I felt a sting of fear and thought: If foreign women are subject to this kind of influence, it may be time to get out of here. I was proven right a week or two later. I was living with who I thought was a nice lady. She was from Bolivia but had lived for a few years in the United States before we met. One Sunday evening, we started arguing about money. She wanted me to give her enough to take a week’s vacation back to her country. I was saving to move permanently.

The argument became heated but not physical. I never hit her, and she did not hit me. Finally, I got tired of it and left her in the dining room to go to the living room to watch TV. About fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang. There were two police officers at my door asking if anyone had called the police. Fortunately, they were both men. Had one of them been a woman, I would probably have been arrested. As it happened, they talked to my soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend for a few minutes and left. My foreign, Latin girlfriend apologized, but I refused to touch her after that. I knew it was time to get the hell out of that country. I no longer trusted her. I no longer felt safe in my own home.

I talked to a couple of friends and foreign students. Mexico seemed my best option. I went to the Mexican consulate. A couple of weeks later, I flew to Mexico for a month to look for work and a place to live. The whole process took a couple more trips and several months, but I am here now, safe and happy. About a year and a half after moving to Mexico, I met a wonderful Latin lady who is now my wife. My life is better here.

In the United States, the bigotry toward men was constant and ubiquitous. In several states of the great Union, I heard derogatory remarks directed toward men by women more times in any given month than I had heard racist remarks against my skin color, religion or national origin in my whole life. To be honest, I have heard a couple of those man-hating remarks here in Mexico, but I never heard anything like that in Colombia, Perú, Costa Rica, Panamá, the Bahamas or China. The poison is drifting out from the borders, however.

I have heard that the situation for men is getting bad in Canada and England. That is a shame. At least for now, in Mexico, the people, including the women, are fair-minded. The women honestly care for their men and they support us. People here in Mexico discuss men’s issues and women’s issues. People here seem to be genuinely interested in equality and human rights. My Mexican wife values my opinion. She listens to me. Sexist comments from women here are very few and seem to result from United States influence, primarily through television. I have only heard a couple of man-bashing comments from Mexican women who were English teachers—not that big a surprise—and even they stopped doing that when they listened and understood the hurtful, bigoted nature of the anti-male remarks.

Overall, however, I am happy here in Mexico and very happily married. My wife is helping me to recover from the pain and emotional problems caused by feminist oppression in the United States. The migraines are gone. My blood pressure is normal again. No matter what critics might say about “copping out, running away, being unpatriotic or giving up,” it seems that Chester Himes was right. The expatriate solution works. After thirty years of feminist oppression, it may be all that we men have left.

Fin

About William Rand

William Rand lives in Mexico where he writes and teaches English as a Second Language. He escaped the talons of the American feminist wolf. He says, "My only solution, mirroring the writer Chester Himes, was to leave. So far, I am happy here." =

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  • http://gloriusbastard.com/ JJ

    YOU LEFT? The betrayal. What, you didn’t like your five foot by 10 foot future closet replete with toilet and 6 boyfriends in your future we had prepared for you?

    Come on! You know you want to come back. We have appliances to build, the feet of our women to worship, all of our money to give (while the economy has not totally gone feminist (AKA in the tank)), women to keep us in line whenever we cross said imaginary line; and all the processed fast food one can die eating from.

    Yup, we are exceptional here in America.

    Oh, did I forget to mention what else you are missing?! You can go to war looking for pirates and slave traders of women in Africa you will never meet (because they are not there) risking your life to harass men overseas, for women here.

    Also, you can spend your whole life earning money, property and wealth; just to get cuckolded and lose it all when your maste……yes dear, I’m sorry, I mean, your wife* is no longer happy. (Please honey, don’t hit me with that scarf again, I may hit back and go to prison).

    You get to work hard until some feminist bitch feels you have earned enough for a woman to take your place; preferably black, but white is just as good. Bonus, you don’t get to complain without a sexual harassment charge! Now that is choice, missing home yet?

    Also, these lovely vixens will get tax breaks for college so they can brainwash any of your future kids you sent to public indoctrin………I mean education.

    Come on back fella; you don’t know what you are missing! I have not even covered the half of it. Lord God Obama is about to unleash his healthcare initiative. FINALLY, some “change” in worse oppression our overlords can really break the bank with!

    Come on back, the weather is cold, and you will find me hanging in a closet. Don’t mind the smell, just join me. (I’m kidding)……(sort of).

  • http://menzmagazine.blogspot.com/ Factory

    Frankly I’m surprised Mexico isn’t vigorously recruiting talent from the States…

    “Come to Mexico. Our economy is growing faster than yours, and we don’t hate men. Plus, it’s pretty warm.”

    As a Canadian, I know that would work on me….

  • Booyah

    Very inspiring story. I often think about leaving Australia since mens place in this country is now a complete joke after “the plan.” South America is definitely a considered possibility. Thanks for sharing your insight.

  • JinnBottle

    Good for you, William. Yes, despite the 12-step stuff (that seems to be abating of recent years) that implies “geographicals are for nought”, moving *can and does* make a difference in my experience also. E.g. I lived in Northern California from 1987-1992. I was enchanted with the climate – the physical climate, that is; but by March 1992 living in what was then, at least, the county with the 2nd highest divorce rate in the US, had taken its toll. I’d been “let go” from my job, my wife had moved out, and the only way I could have stayed was to go on Welfare. White men were *not* being hired, almost openly – i.e. “affirmative action” included all demographics except mine. I am not exaggerating.

    But it turns out, I’m glad I’m back in Boston. Yeah, it’s not perfect at all – but anything for a man is social paradise compared to Northern CA.

    When given the flight-or-fight option, I’ve almost always opted for the latter. But in the case of my current situation, I really “can’t complain” – mutual love between my wife and me, the two topfloors of an old but good 3-decker, on SSDI (but will soon be of age to transport the SS transnationally, if I wanted), so it could be far worse.

    But – probably the thing that decided me to stay, especially since having AVfM as my daily “newspaper”, is that…things are bad (or worse!) all over, now.

    Hearing from you, it sounds like Mexico is not as bad as MRAs’ general impression of what “Latin America has become”. So it sounds like you made a good decision, and good luck to you.

    But keep us posted on the Mexican Situation, would ya?

    • Sting Chameleon

      Give it 10-15 years. As a Chilean I can tell you that the radfem virus has already infected LatAm.

  • keyster

    I attended a seminar at the county “Workforce Center” last week (you can’t call them “The Unemployment Office” anymore). The topic of “Diversity” came up, one of my favorite topics and the man running the seminar proudly exclaimed that the Workforce Center was very diversity sensitive (guilty privileged white males like doing that every chance they get). He said they have an equally diverse balanced representative group of people working at the center, including 10 Hispanics and “even a couple of black people” – out of about 40 workers total.

    When I asked him what the ratio of men to women was he answered before he had a chance to consider the question – “We have four males here; me, the two IT guys and one other case worker who’s also hispanic.” To which I replied, “That doesn’t seem very diverse now does it Steve?” Other than a loud “tisk” and pronounced sigh from a female attendee, the only response from Steve was a roll of the eyes and “OK then, let’s move on, shall we?”

    It’s institutionalized, normalized, like the air we breath. And in government offices throughout the country a plethora of women and dearth of men is expected. Men hire women out of fear, and women hire women for “social justice”.

  • RM1970

    It’s sad, but in Brazil the situation for men is getting bad too. This week one chief police officer was dismissed, because he posted a comment on his personal twitter saying bad things about his female colleagues, BTW, he just told the truth. In Brazil, to women, nothing but extolments is acceptable. The Main Stream Media is feminist since I can remember, the courts is overwhelming feminist, so if you want a safe harbor, stay away from here, flee to Brazil, in order to escape from feminism, is like ask asylum to Mao Tse Tung to escape from Stalin.

    • napocapo69

      Yeah, Brazil is an interesting example of a country that emerges from third world economy thanks to the sacrifices of the workforce and the aggressive policy of Lula (controversial figure) and then once the wealth explodes the feminism spread….and a a female president take a seat….does it remind anything?

      • RM1970

        Yes, it does, we have a pattern here, men create everything and after a while, some political transformation the women appropriate and take credit for everything. About Lula, you are right he is very controversial and the Brazilian economic growth is not so reliable and I don’t want start more controversy.

    • droobles

      It is always nice to see another brazillian taking the red pill!!!

      I am an economist, every research I made on gender issues only showed me, again and again, how the feminist bigotry is institutionalized.

      I am trying to start some activism here, I might take the flee option at some point, but at least for the next five years I am going to fight!

      • RM1970

        @ Droobles.
        What city you are from?

  • http://pinterest.com/zetapersei/male-privilege/ Perseus

    Thank you for sharing your story
    Moving, enlightening and insightful, if not inspirational

  • Hf

    Good article, and interesting read. I’d swear I’ve read it somewhere before, although I can’t seem to place it. Deja vu I wonder? Or maybe a sign? Perhaps…

    I think it would be nice to read a followup article, one the touches more on the “how”, rather than the “why”. As in, how difficult was it to move, to get through customs, how much money did it require to move, how much is the cost of living where you are now, how difficult was it to find work. That sort of thing. These are the sort of things that could really help with someone who is on the fence, or has been seriously considering it, such as I.

    I do know that feminism, as we know it here, has NOT spread to all of central America, or all of the world like some folks will claim. Has it spread? Oh yes. But has it spread everywhere? Of course not.

    • JinnBottle

      Hf – How’s Costa Rica?

  • Bombay

    Thank you very much for your story and the time it took to write it.

    I would like to hear other people’s as well.

  • 86

    I would love to leave. I would love to read a series of articles describing how one does this. How to find work. Where a mostly english only speaker can work, live and function. What are the important questions to research. Stuff like that.

  • https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Voice-for-Men/102001393188684 Paul Elam

    One of my greatest pleasures about the growth of AVFM is that with additional editors and managers to the site I have the chance to “visit” here as a reader; to come upon an article that I did not edit and did not even know was going to be published.

    I get to sit back with a cup of java and just read a great article.

    Man, this is a cool website.

    :)

  • James Williams

    James Williams

    I sympathize with the idea of migrating to escape, but in the end there is no escape. Feminism and cultural Marxism are a global phenomenum. You move to another country and the same poison will get there sooner or later. It will not stop until men and women set aside their stupidity and self centredness, stand up and fight back. In the meantime, the social decay and the destruction of lives will continue.

    • OneHundredPercentCotton

      Agreed 100%. I desperately considered leaving this country in the aftermath of my son’s false accusation, only to realize this is epidemic. This is worldwide. There is no way out, there is no fresh start…there is no “new world” left to escape from evil.

    • Stephen O’Brian

      I have a slightly different stance James. I’ve become an ex pat to escape feminist culture. At the same time I put an enormous amount of time and effort into keeping in touch with what’s happening in the feminist infected countries and speaking up about it. These days with the internet this is possible, and getting easier as servers and mobile networks and computers get more powerful. So for me there is a kind of escape, and a way to still ‘be’ in the infected country and being part of the MHRM counter culture.
      Muchas Gratias William. Yet another article which is fleshing out for MHRM folks the global crime scene of feminism and relatively safe spots to visit and live.

      Don’t move to New Zealand! – http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/paradise-with-a-hefty-price-part-1/

  • Robert Sides

    William:

    Great writing. Very moving piece.

    I commend Fred Reed to your attention:

    http://www.fredoneverything.net/

    He’s an ex-pat Southerner, former Marine (and former reporter) now living in Mexico. He has a truly amazing command of the English language…and tons of stories to tell.

    I suggest you read some on gender, particularly ones suggesting men date foreign women.

    It might also benefit you to contact him via email, and maybe actually visit him.

    In any case, keep posting here.

    Por favor!

  • Robert Sides
  • Tlaloc

    I am leaving to Mexico too, but mine is a completely different story. I am a Mexican that just became Canadian after spending 6 years in Montreal. I came here to study at a local University and build a professional career. It worked well in that area; nevertheless, I was never able to adapt to the feminist atmosphere. I learnt English and French; I succeed at my studies; I worked and now I know I will not lack employment offers in the area. For that and many other things, I am very grateful to this wonderful country of Canada which will always have a part in my heart. But my attempts at building a family here failed; every year I tried with a different woman without success. Feminism permeates everything here and women are very quick at following the social trend; even if that means putting you down and shaming you in front of her friends. As for racism, everywhere you go you will have some form or degree of discrimination or stigmatization based in your origins; it is impossible to find a place in the world without this phenomenon. But I never expected to be labeled as a misogynist because I am Mexican; that is, the perception of the Mexican male woman beater. I remember a Social worker at the University asking me what it is like to grow up in the culture of Machism where men are always in control and how it has affected me as an adult. Another one said, after we had a disagreement, that she saw a lot of the Mexican macho in me. After several years of hearing that same rhetoric employed against me in social interactions, I learnt how to reply: “So, I can see right there you are making remarks about me for being Mexican without even knowing me. Do you understand that prejudging someone based on his nationality is an act of racism? I came here to take a course of French, not to hear racist remarks.” That puts everything in place right there and works wonders; much better than start making apologies for being a male and a Mexican. After all, it was here that I learnt about the male rights movement and the feminist’s shaming tactics. As for expatriating, I do not believe that changing countries is a talisman that will solve all of my problems as a man nor I recommend it to everybody; but I am willing to trade some things for others. Canada job market is very good and there is potential for good earnings with lots of benefits you will not find in Mexico like good unemployment insurance, etc. Public security is much more better too while in Mexico there is a war going on with the drug cartels. Also Mexico, believe it or not, has its good degree of feminism; in Mexico City they have non-fault divorce now. However, I can see that in Canada and in the US the feminist rhetoric is being challenged more and more. Because of this and other clues I have seen, it is my belief that social changes are approaching. Perhaps I won’t see anything in my life time but is enough for me to know that when it happen Mexico will follow.

    • James Williams

      Very good addition to William Rand’s article. Macho has been made into a dirty word. It actually stood for courage and stoicism and defending your community. It was originally meant to be a complement if you were called macho. Now its has been corrupted into meaning violent and vain and mysoginistic.

  • Stu

    You can run, but you can’t hide

  • Ben

    Many vivid and important details here. Why a man in the United States would get married in this culture baffles me. And this article perfectly puts the United States male experience into perspective with regard to post-feminism women.

    I am not the least bit surprised that a campus put up a poster of a track athelete with the message “If you really want to see how fast he can run, tell him you’re pregnant.” What complete, total hate propaganda. That is not conducive to a learning environment, to say the least.

    Also, the part about not feeling safe in your own home should be read and understood by all men in my country. Since elementary school, they have been brainwashed with “She Fears You” plays and other nonsense to think of women as being afraid in their own home. It never even occurs to them that, through the use of vengeful female cops, they themselves will be more likely to be afraid in their own homes.

    Slightly off topic but our GWISE organization on campus (Graduate Women in Science and Engineering) has on their webpage links to published work to build a case for a “patriarchy” in STEM fields and the need for Title IX intervention into my chosen profession. One of the links is to a story “Hidden Sexism in Science and Math.” It’s like the “glass” ceiling, I suppose. Their grievances are qualified with words like “glass” (meaning that it’s see-through thus we really can’t “see” it but we should believe it anyway) and words like “hidden”. If sexism in math and science is such a problem, then why do even the proponents themselves of their own belief system have to say that it is actually “hidden” and that we have to look very, very hard to see it. “Okay, maybe if you strain really hard, you can see some semblence of the ‘hidden’ or ‘glass’ injustice we are alluding to.” Give me a break, feminists. On the contrary, the male-only draft is not called “hidden” sexism in selective service requirements, for example. MRAs don’t need to use modifiers like “hidden” or “glass” or “invisible” or “implied” or “benevolent” or “subtle” when describing injustices suffered by men.

    White, middle class, college educated women in the United States in 2013, who are in Masters and Ph.D. programs are forming committees to complain about injustices they suffer. That is sick. That is vile. That is reprehensible. That is repulsive.

  • manandwife

    Hello

    My wife and I are considering the same thing. We already live here, on the border with Mexico, somewhere between Brownsville and Laredo. Our reply to Mexico is – NO!

    She is a high risk OB/GYN nurse. She sees it every day. She even had one girl ask her if she could have gotten pregnant while having sex with a donkey. A donkey!

    No, I am not making it up!

    The women my wife has to deal with are disgusting. Their first words are “where’s the money.” At least the “dads” are starting to ask about paternity tests when they get to the hospital.

    I go to an office supply store and talk with the manager about this stuff and he reminds me that this is the most litigious place in North America. Most of the people who live here, don’t even live here! The international bridge is extremely popular.

    The only reason it is not worse in Mexico is that the government is not stable enough to make and enforce these laws. That stability is coming though. They want to legalize marijuana ( etc ) in Mexico.

    No, south of the border won’t work.

    As for Costa Rica, there is a book about that. It basically says that CR wants old Americans to move there because of the retirement checks etc. I’m sure you can find the book on Amazon – I’ll look for it and post sometime.

    My wife just received a somewhat nice job probe from a hospital in Anchorage Alaska. At least there we can get away (?). I mean, clean air, 1 person per square mile, fresh food etc. Also, they could actually kill themselves trying to get to our front door. Unfortunately, the entire state has an extremely high rape accusation rate.

    Tanks

  • All Contraire

    One of the most boldfaced and damnable fabrications feminists have ever gotten away with avers that the suffering and victimization of all women –– including very privileged white women –– is so much deeper and far exceeds that of any man, most egregiously, African-American men. But that is one of the seductive powers of the devil ideology’s attraction and success, isn’t it? On the one hand telling women they are strong, superior, “deserve and should have it all”. While on the other craftily appealing to their constituency’s emotional need and moral weakness. Elite Feminists offer ordinary women the beguiling myth of Patriarchy and Eternal Victimhood, and thus superior claims over all men, their forever oppressors. Amazed at their own cleverness, they even bestow on Southern White Women absolution from segregation and the heritage of slavery…

    “It’s teh men’s fault; racism, violence, the hatred, all of it. My father, my brother, cousin Bubba who died in ‘Nam…even Uncle Tom, ‘he’ was in on it. How was I to know the outraged menfolk would violently seize and lynch that Black Man I tearfully pointed to as Billy Joe slyly slipped out the back window? I wanted to stop them; but I’m too weak; too oppressed; too caught. Jesus will love and forgive me for surely I am the Real Victim here…”

  • Sheldonshells

    Sorry but I think it’s a rubbish idea just to up and leave for those reasons. Running away from a problem never solved it. Anywhere you hear or encounter misandry, fight back, and counter it, like I do. Don’t cower into a shell, whether the shell be in yourself or Mexico.

    “I have heard that the situation for men is getting bad in Canada and England.”

    No, the situation is not getting bad; it has already gotten bad. And we’re all here to see to it that not only does it not get any worse, but that it gets a whole lot better.

    • Howard Gordan

      I do agree with you that those that don’t pick up and leave need to fight misandry fervently. Most of us are not able to pick up and leave so easily. However, I do not blame him for leaving one bit. When antisemitism got bad, my grandparents left Poland before Germany’s invasion. I wouldn’t be typing this right now if they hadn’t. So I do understand where he is coming from.

  • Howard Gordan

    Awesome article. I congratulate you on your courage. If I could do the same, I would. My family living here though would make that hard to do. But I do agree- I am regularly at a few companies that I do work for. I get so tired of hearing all the women talk crap about their husbands and boyfriends. It’s like the only thing they know how to do is trash them in front of everyone. The men that are there are never heard doing likewise about their girlfriends or wives. I usually only hear positive statements about them. The old shaking of the head and stating “men” is rather common. I recall once a woman seeing on the internet that a man had fathered a few babies from different women and was having a hard time with child support. Her “just cut it off” comment made me state that the women were just as responsible as it takes two to have sex. Nothing but silence, as if I just broke one of the ten commandments- “Thou shalt not lay claim that women are responsible for their own actions.” Of course those women adhere to their own feminist commandments- “Thou shalt not use the name of men for any positive reason.”

  • gateman

    I’ve always had a fantasy of all MRAs each contributing $5,000 and together purchasing an island. Lets call it “Emaray”. Something along the lines of that shown in the movie “The Beach”, except run by a group of wise “elders” instead of a matriarch.

    • Scott Stevens

      Yep, have had the same line of thinking…

    • James Williams

      They would find someway of demonizing the place and dub us all as evil paedos and necrophiliacs and when they had built up enough animosity against us, they would send in the military to wipe us out.

  • Scott Stevens

    Great story. Some people will call this running away, or deserting your country. But what is a country? A country is more than the hills, green grass, beaches and mountains. It is also the people you share it with. And when those people are making it a misery to be a part of, I honestly don’t blame any man for leaving. Running away from it? More like walking to freedom. You’re not the first. And positive, brave stories like yours, will help ensure you’re also not the last. Thanks for sharing.

  • Europa Phoenix

    Because I’m a subscriber of many English speaking websites, I receive from time to time a couple of emails containing the following message :
    “Get a green card, and come improve your life in America”.
    In the background, there is a big American flag. The Statue of Liberty stands in front of a rising sun… it’s beautiful.

    I love them, because they make me laugh each time. Like a good running joke.

    Don’t get me wrong. I considered to move there in the past. Neil Armstrong and Isaac Asimov were my heroes when I was a kid.
    But the modern feminist American society (and the modern feminist European society I might add) is not attractive at all.
    The few American women that I know… are so fucked up in the head… it’s repulsive. How could I “improve my life” in a society who produces such people ?

    I’ll stay in my country, and do my best to stop the damages with the help of my stock of red pills.
    Hopefully, logic is still something that we value here. The Feminist religion don’t stand a chance against the almighty Logos.

  • MGTOW-man

    No matter where you live, as long as you remain involved in justice for males, you are right here with us.

    Your actions to leave the US, are commended. Many of us would if we had the means….

    I too have had similar contact with decent women when abroad in South American countries. It seems as if they are too, in reach of equality for women, but without all the hatred and oblivion. They have a fair, wholesomeness about them. I miss it too.

    It will get worse here in the USA. It will spread to the rest of the world too. That is their aim. They are not content on changing their immediate environment; they will not be satisfied until every male, everywhere is punished for things they did not create or foster. They will not be satisfied until they wipe out maleness and truth of nature.

    Natural truth and masculinity are their biggest enemies.

    Anyway, best of luck to you. Glad you had your eyes pried open eventually, due to the feminist “help” poison slowly inoculating your world. Just keep on helping us!

  • TheSandreGuy

    Wait… So mexico is not just tropically warm, has a rich culture, and beautiful women?.. They’re not feminists as well? Belinda Carlisle was right after all… Heaven IS a place on earth!

  • HieronymusBraintree

    Great article.

    When I was in Mexico I was quite struck at how blatantly flirtatious the women were. They practically swung in on vines. It was fun. A lot more fun than the US.

    I’m thinking of retiring in Nicaragua. It’s cheap and only three hours from Miami by plane.

  • aao

    Hello.

    Thank you for a very interesting article. However, I feel the need to say something.

    I’m Mexican and I’ve lived in México City all my life. I don’t know what part of the country you live in, however, I must disagree with you. Obviously, things are not nearly as bad as they are in Canada, Australia, Scandinavia and the UK, however, IT IS indeed a feminist country.

    DV is something that is blamed ENTIRELY on men with women seen as its only victims. The world of Academe and Universities are completely infested with feminist dogma and indoctrination. It is politically correct to insult, mock, ridicule, be violent and hostile to and threaten men. I’ve seen it countless times.

    The VAST majority of parents circumcise their sons and that’s the way it’s always been, and it doesn’t seem like things are going to change.

    In my city, a wife can blame her husband of DV and without the need to prove it, he gets arrested and she gets a pension, payed for from the money of the tax payers. There are buses and subway cars exclusive for women. No matter what, a man CANNOT enter them. There’s been violence directed towards men that have attempted to do such a thing when they have no other option.

    Men’s and boys’ rights and issues ARE NOT something that’s talked about AT ALL.

    A lot of State Governments, (including my city’s government) are OBSESSED with ending violence and murders (or, as they call them, “Femicide”) against women, however, you’ll NEVER hear anyone say anything about the violence men are victims of.

    There was a radio and TV ad payed for by the Government of my city where there were a bunch of women gloating and smiling and laughing about the fact that female births are more than male ones and about how there are less and less men each time in the professional world.

    There are ABSOLUTELY NO RESOURCES for men victims of DV and much, much less of any kind of sexual violence. Those men are ABSOLUTELY invisible here.

    Regarding the public attitudes towards “women’s issues” and problems and health, they are the same as in the USA and Canada and Australia and Scandinavia, etcetera, etcetera. We have Pink Ribbons all over during October. Needless to say, NO ONE cares about men’s health, NO ONE cares about Prostate Cancer.

    All my life I’ve seen men being victims of violence (many times at the hands of their mothers, grandmothers, girlfriends, wives), but not a single time have I seen a woman being a victim of violence.

    I have to say, México, my country, IS a feminist country and IS NOT a men’s issues-friendly country.

    Regards.