A Lack of Rights for Men- A Mother Fights Back

Do Men Really have Equal Rights?

It is a question I really never thought of until recently. It was just jast week, in fact, that I was sitting in a court room waiting for my 18 year old son’s hearing to end. He was taken to court to pay child support for a child he did not want and did not agree to have, who he was, in fact, tricked into fathering by a dishonest young woman. Unfortunately, he was the “winner” of the paternity test (We were told it could have been one of three boys). I told my son he wasn’t a winner at all, because being the winner of the DNA test he just lost everything that he doesn’t even have yet.

Image courtesy of MenZ Magazine

While waiting in the filled court room, I sat there alone with my thoughts and worries about what was about to happen. Since he is 18 years old, I wasn’t allowed to sit with him. He is considered an adult in the eyes of the court. An 18 year old boy with braces on his teeth, a sweet smile, and who still enjoys watching cartoons in the morning. As an adult, he is uneducated, underemployed, and naive enough to be duped by a pretty girl; damn, he doesn’t even have his driver’s license yet.

Millions of things were going through my head that day, but I was mainly thinking that I just wanted it to be over. Perhaps to escape, I was daydreaming about things I would rather be doing whenI heard his name being called.

And just like that the judge orders him to pay $759.46 per month plus $10,000 retro for the first year, plus court fees. I shook my head thinking I must have fallen asleep and was now in a nightmare. I had to gather myself together. I then whispered to an older man sitting beside me. “Did she just say $759.00 a month?” The man turned to me and said, “Yes, that dude must have a whole bunch of kids.”

Sitting there in a room full of strangers, all from different walks of life, I felt more helpless than I have ever felt before. I felt powerless to defend my child. I stood up quickly and yelled “wait a minute there must be a mistake,” though I think I remember uttering some swear words in the process. I said,” this is wrong, how can this happen? “ My son only works part time if he is lucky. He hardly makes enough money to survive himself. Now he was just ordered to pay this much a month for a child he never agreed to have?

There was yelling from the bench and I was ordered to sit down and be quite. I continued to demand an explanation. The judge pounded her gavel on the bench and ordered me out of her court room. I turned to my son son and said, ” let’s go. ” The judge shouted back at me, ” He is not going anywhere- I am not done with him yet. He leaves when I tell him to leave.” As two deputies were walking towards me, I replied to her, ” You are more than done with him. He is coming with me. Go ahead and try to stop me.” I looked at my son and he looked scared to death; not sure which one of us he should listen too.

Where are his rights?

A woman has the right to abort, adopt, or abandon her baby and there are no consequences for her decisions. A woman can have an abortion and no one can force her to keep the baby regardless of the father’s feelings. A woman is allowed to leave her baby in a safe place and walk away with no questions asked. A woman has the right to give her child up for adoption. It’s wonderful our country gives woman such liberties. I am a woman and I am grateful I have these rights.

Why aren’t men given these same rights?

Why are men forced to be fathers when they don’t want to be? Why are men forced to pay child support for a child they did not want to have? Why are men allowed to be tricked into being a father? Why are men being punished for having sex?

There are many women who have  lied or tricked the man so she would get pregnant. Because she wants a baby to love her, and she wants someone else to pay for it.  Where is the woman’s responsibility? Shouldn’t we, as women, be responsible for our own bodies? Shouldn’t that come with all these rights we have? Shouldn’t we be the ones to reap the consequences if we get pregnant while we are single? I hear it so often about unwed women saying they are against abortion for religious reasons. Well, what about them having sex before getting married? They weren’t thinking about God then- were they?

Feminism claims to promote the idea that women have the same equal rights as men.

From Wikipedia ~ In the subsequent decades women’s rights again became an important issue in the English speaking world. By the 1960s the movement was called “feminism” or “women’s liberation.” Reformers wanted the same pay as men, equal rights in law, and the freedom to plan their families or not have children at all.

OK, if this is all about equality, then where are men’s reproductive rights?

I want to see CHANGE, and I am prepared to fight for it. We need equal rights to be equal for both men and women. The system is unfair. Furthermore, the ridiculously high child support orders on impoverished men in this country is a form of slavery. And that is exactly what the courts are doing to my young son.  They are turning him into a slave- and allowing the woman who deceived him become his master- his owner.

Courts that are supposed to find just solutions are now the main cause of the problem. The child support orders not only set financial expectations too high to meet, but it also forces young men to become criminals, and some even commit suicide.  We criminalizing an entire class of human beings, and ignoring the real criminals who are behind all this.

Women can get off their butts, put their children in daycare, and get a job.

As long as we have “My body, my choice,” shouldn’t we also have “my responsibility,” as well?

Beth Lang is an American mother whose son was duped into becoming a father without his consent.  Because of this, she has decided to dedicate her life to publicly challenging the corrupt system that enables the fraud.  Her efforts to advocate on behalf of her son and all young men will be chronicled exclusively here, at avoiceformen.com.

About Beth Lang

Beth Lang was inspired to submit this article after reading A Voice for Men. If you too have ideas or experiences you would like to share with our readers. please click hereShe is a women for the equal rights of men.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Remove-Sill-Rogers/137063599663315?ref=ts Aaron

    I too am going through a similar issue in Kansas City Mo with Judge Christin Sill-Rogers. I have started a campaign to have her removed this November . A tall task but it is the step in the right direction along with contacting law makers as well to laws changed!! Need more info see Remove Sill-Rogers on FaceBook
    Aaron

  • chavonne ramirez

    Beth,

    are you familiar with the work that Glenn Sacks has involved in. There have been some small legislative wins that may build momentum towards this specific issue. I know of three women personally that are having the same experience as yourself with their sons. When will there be a congressional hearing on the injustice that is being perpetrated against our boys/men. One womans son who is an honor roll student, volunteers weekly with children and the elderly, regularly attends religious events was recently victimized. He was to attend college in the Fall but now must look for employment in this economy to avoid run-ins with family court system. Its sad because he actually was practicing what we always tell our boys to do…wear a condom. The young lady admitted in private to tampering. If a single unwed woman is not utilizing any for m of protection and the man does, it suggest to me that his safety measures were taken to ensure no unintended pregnancy and her reckless behavior should not be rewarded with support. If there is any progress towards congressional hearings please inform me and I will try and contact other women that are experincing what you and your son are.

  • chavonne ramirez

    Will there ever be a push for a congressional hearing on this topic? If so I will definitely try and contact the three mothers that I know personally going through this very experience. Are you familiar with the work of Glenn Sacks?

  • http://Facebook Anna

    Beth it’s not too late. FIGHT. He can not pay out what he does not earn. What’s next? Throw him in jail for not earning enough to pay what he never had in the first place? Contact fathers rights. I believe they have lawyers to help you. WTH is wrong with America? Have we gotten that ignorant that we will abuse a young man just to please a young woman? What is she going to do when he’s in jail because of non payment of what SHE knows damn well is not fair?

  • http://denisspaceeh.spaces.live.com/ Denis

    @Beth,

    “never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”

    The system of bureaucrats is set up to take all your money and leave you broke and broken. The real battle is in politics and the media.

  • ActaNonVerba

    That’s the problem with women in general. The can’t think in the abstract. They have “instincts” to care about children and, of course, themselves. But, they cannot relate to men at all. One rarely hears a peep about male suffering from a woman unless it is a family member.

  • PT

    “He can not pay out what he does not earn. What’s next? Throw him in jail for not earning enough to pay what he never had in the first place? ”

    Yes, that is exactly what happens. He will be thrown in jail, not for owing money, mind you (that would be debtor’s prison- which is specifically prohibited by the US Constitution), but for being in contempt of the court order. Alles klar? There his debt will continue to grow, and grow rapidly with the added penalties and interest. When he gets out of jail, the state will take the first portion of any money he makes for itself to pay off the penalties, and it is unlikely that any money he earns will ever go to his child. Even if he is able to pay, the mother can spend it any way she wants- drugs, thugs, booze, or shoes. Your sweet child’s life appears to have gotten flushed down the toilet, as does the life of your grandchild. You GO grrrrrrrlll!

    Pity that only now, when it affects you personally, can you see the injustice.

  • Demonspawn

    Beth-

    I’m late to the game, but I thought I’d help. The answer, actually, is simple.

    Child support (and alimony) are unconstitutional. They are a direct violation of the 13th Amendment as they place the payer (your son) in a position of being an Indentured Servant to the payee (the mother). The judge has violated TITLE 18, U.S.C., SECTION 242 and is most likely involved in a violation of TITLE 18, U.S.C., SECTION 241. Considering that the force of state involves the threatened use of dangerous weapons, the judge faces 10 years per violation.

    Contact your local FBI office (yes, to have them laugh at you, but so that you’ve followed protocol). Once the State has refused to protect your rights from being violated by the State, you are now within your rights to do whatever reasonable act is necessary to protect your rights from the government. What you do at that point is your own choice.

  • TicToc

    Dear “Beth”,

    The internet is great for causes like yours as you can reach many members and share information with just a click of a button. The drawback is that it is for everyone to see, so integrity and truth are especially important. Using aliases will not make you invisible. I know who you are. Currently you are a lier and a bigot. I know plenty of facts and history about your son’s situation and your background.

    Your son does contact his baby’s momma. He seems to have more interest in his child than you know about. Perhaps that is why he has not publicly showed any support for your internet crusade. This appears to be your fight, not his. You may want to consider backing off as this child may become part of Tyler’s life and therefor part of yours. Your attitude will either help or hurt the situation.

    The baby’s mother is far from the looser you make her out to be. She is in school, has a job and has enlisted in the military and was deployed over the summer for basic training. Her child is in daycare almost everyday because of her busy life. For her young age, she is extremely talented in the field she wishes to pursue. Did I mention she is fun, sexy and gorgeous? At this time her only interest in your son is because he is the father of their child. She is currently dating a great guy and is focused on her future.

    Here is a lesson for you to learn… Sometimes teenage boys don’t tell the truth when talking to their mothers about sex and paternity. Tyler’s claim that she lied to him about using birth control and that 3 men were potential fathers are just Tyler’s attempt to distance himself from any responsibility or blame. No one else believes those claims to be true. Tyler was the only man tested for paternity.

    In your rants you criticize single mothers. Wish to abolish alimony, child support, and give men a choice in parental responsibility. Equal treatment and “rights'” – correct?

    So will you please explain your background?

    Beth, isn’t it you that has two children by two different men and both outside of marriage? I know your kids have never used their father’s surnames or have any involvement with their fathers, so how willing were these men to be fathers? But you still forced them to pay child support,- right?

    You used the courts to track these men down for paternity (it appears these men were difficult to find) and you requested financial child support. One case indicates you requested and won BACK child support (you are the sole plaintiff) in other child support cases you are a co-plaintiff with the state of Florida, which is a good indication that you received money from “the system” and then the state of Florida went after the fathers on your behalf.

    Isn’t it you that “lived off the system” because you could not afford your children w/o public assistance? Isn’t it you and Tyler that spend child support money on tattoos? (you got your tats while receiving child support, didn’t you?). Everything you falsely accuse this mother of is really a reflection of your own past behavior.

    Based on your attitude and opinions, isn’t it you that should have chosen abortion instead of having children with no fathers as you could not support your kids on your own? What has the effect of not having fathers had on your children, especially Tyler? Maybe this is why he walked out of fatherhood – fatherhood is not valued in your household.

    And equal treatment?…… Aren’t you a cop? Are your physical requirements for employment the same as the men? Are you supportive of making the physical requirments equal for men and women as part of your “equal rights” crusade?

    You owe the men and women here the truth. Either PUT-UP or SHUT-UP !!!

    I will not post your real name, but if you deny anything I will post public court records. I know I have come down hard on you. You really have done a good job raising your kids. I think you could have a positive impact on your grandson as well if you choose to do so.

    PS- your grandson is adorable and funny (he’s walking and talking). I will send you pictures if you like.

    • Bob O’Hara

      What the heck is this crap? You come on here and accuse this woman of all kinds of stuff and besmerch her and say things in the name of her son that only he can say for himself. The fact is that her son had a decision made for him by someone else-the decision to become a parent. And don’t give me any of your crap about “he should have worn a condom or kept it in his pants” nonsense. He was lied to about the firtility status of this woman and he should not have to take responsiblity for it. I don’t care how many men were tested for paternity here that is not the point and you know it.
      Trying to dig up dirt about someones past because they do not agree with you is in extreemely bad taste and your ostensibly gracious effort to respect the anonymity of Beth is nothing more then a vieled threat.
      I see right through you and your guilt trips.

      • Gypsy83

        You say ” You come on here and accuse this woman of all kinds of stuff and besmerch her and say things in the name of her son that only he can say for himself.”, if that is indeed the case, then why isn’t he on here himself? Why is his mother fighting the battle that has been waged upon him, not her?

  • Beth Lang

    first of all, I do not have a grandson

    Secondly, you don’t have correct information. I do not have anything to hide!

    Thirdly, come on the Dr. Phil Show with us all and we can hash out our differences and the truths will come out.

    Take care & Best of luck too you!

  • Rhianna Clark

    Am I the only one who completely disagrees with this? If he didnt want a kid he should have demanded to use a condom or not had sex at all. End of story.

    • Nergal

      “Am I the only one who completely disagrees with this? If she didnt want a kid she should have demanded to use a condom or not had sex at all. End of story.”

      Imagine what would have happened if Roe V Wade had worked out this way.

      Except it didn’t. Women have 16 versions of contraception and men have “keep it in your pants if you don’t want to be a father”.

      Fuck you, bitch. This is a men’s issue.

      YOUR opinion on it is completely invalid.

      YOU’RE not going to be paying child support for 18 years against your will because ya’ll made sure you had a CHOICE IN THE MATTER before you abrogated men’s choices.

  • Chelsea

    He agreed to whatever consequences (having a baby/having to help pay to raise said baby) when he had sex. MAYBE if guys don’t want to be fathers, they should LEARN HOW TO USE BIRTH CONTROL METHODS or STOP HAVING SEX! Single men sleeping with multiple partners has become acceptable, and then when something unexpected comes about because of it, they claim no responsibility. Women who sleep with multiple partners are perceived as “sluts” and “whores” and unfit to be respected as human beings. We all make mistakes, and if we can’t step up and take responsibility for those actions, then there is something wrong with us.

    I am expecting my son in July, and I promise you that if he ever gets someone pregnant, and they are not committed to being together he WILL be standing up and taking responsibility for his actions. I think that as a mother you would want him to do the same, but apparently not. BY HIS ACTIONS, HE AGREED TO DEAL WITH WHATEVER HAPPENED BECAUSE OF THEM. STOP TRYING TO BAIL HIM OUT FROM TAKING RESPONSIBILITY.

    • Nergal

      Consent to sex is NOT consent to fatherhood. Women have widely available access to around 16 different methods of contraception,including abortion.

      This isn’t the Dark Ages where every fuck might result in pregnancy. To force a man into fatherhood against his will is quite similar to raping a woman or forcing her to bear a deformed child or rape child she didn’t want.

      It is inhumane and you are a fucking MONSTER for advocating it.

  • Marlene

    If this story was even remotely al true I would almost feel for this boy… As a mother of 4 girls I pray they never come into contact with a boy like your son. Who is quick to say he was tricked.. I HIGHLY doubt he was TRICKED into having sex by this girl. I HIGHLY doubt he isn’t responsible for his own actions. He needs to stop being a mommy’s boy and grow up and be a man. While this girl may have been a lil tramp to be sleeping around with 3 boys, HE NEEDS TO OWN UP TO the fact that he had unprotected sex and THESE THINGS HAPPEN! Grow the hell up lady… While I agree that men should be able to stop abortions from happening and should have more rights over unborn fetuses they have fathered, I disagree with your whoa is me attitude and your dismissal of his DUTY to take responsibility for his mistake.. YES it was a mistake, but if the girl has to live with it, so does he! Let your little boy become the man he needs to be. And for the record, men have the right to waive their parental rights. Who needs a loser in their lives… that IS what you have raised.. a loser who runs to his mommy and wants no say in the repercussions the judge has made him pay.

    • Stu

      The girl doesn’t have to live with it….she chooses too…..and could have chose not to….so the boy should have that right also

      • Nergal

        Fuckin’ A.

        What responsibility are you referring to, Marlene?

        The boy consented to SEX, NOT FATHERHOOD.

        Would you say that if I buy a woman a drink she needs to woman up and suck my dick?

        I doubt it.

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  • btm

    What a load of crap. My youngest daughter was pregnant at 15 and was mother at 16. She said the pill failed. 5 years after she gave birth and admitted that she stopped taking the pill because she wanted a baby.

    At 15, she was a brainless, lazy, rude and useless individual. The reason she got pregnant was that she wanted someone to love and to be loved. She liked all the attention she received and when the baby was born, she was given public housing, the place was furnished for her, she received a pension and had her own money and nobody to tell her what to do.

    She is now 26, has 3 kids to 2 different fathers, has attempted suicide at least once and is a burden on taxpayers.

    It makes me sick the way she chose to live her life. She tricked the first guy into getting her pregnant. She told her sister that she deliberately stopped taking the pill. The guy didn’t agree to be a father. She lied to him.

    To the previous female posters who said that the guy agreed to fatherhood when he agreed to sex. FUCKING BULLSHIT.

    Just because I obtained a drivers license doesn’t mean I agreed to get killed on the road by a drunk driver.

  • Daniel Kulkarni

    Unfortunately, condoms break. In a perfect situation, condom failure rate is quite low, but it’s a mistake to discount human error. And when you factor in human error, you realize that condoms are not worth the risk of your livelihood. This article is exactly why I’m scared shitless of having sexual relations.