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On male victims of domestic violence

The rationale for government funding being directed to services for male perpetrators and women and children victims of violence is often given as, “men make up such a small percentage of victims of family violence that services should focus on the majority of clients: women and children.”

One of my colleagues works at a New South Wales (NSW) Local Area Health Service. She attended a compulsory training session for all NSW Health workers covering the use of a NSW Health domestic violence screening tool. The following is a direct transcription from the one of the presenters:

Well, you will encounter gender issues, obviously, throughout the whole of society. But around domestic violence, because, well as you know, because over 90 per cent, something like 98 or 97 per cent of perpetrators are male in our society, NSW Health decided to focus their Domestic Violence Policy on women, because we only have so much time and resources.

First, it should be noted here that a NSW Government employee is giving staff misinformation about the gender breakdown of domestic violence. There is absolutely no evidence showing that “something like 98 or 97 per cent of perpetrators are male.” The most conservative recent estimates [1] (from police reports, which do not cover the vast majority of male victims who never report their assaults [2] show that 82 per cent of offenders in NSW between 2001 and 2010 were male, while 30.8 per cent (almost one in three) victims of domestic assault were male.

 

I’ve put myself in my own prison because I don’t want to have any interaction with society any more. I feel too vile, too dirty, because the mainstream of society says this kind of behaviour from a woman is OK

Kevin – Male DV victim

 

Secondly, this rationale is never presented when talking about services for any other sub-population. For example, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered (GLBT) or Aboriginal victims of family violence aren’t ignored because they make up a small minority of victims. To the contrary: there are specialist services available for these sub-groups precisely because they are in the minority and need services tailored to their specific needs and circumstances. The same is true of male victims of family violence. It doesn’t matter whether males make up 5 per cent, 15 per cent, 35 per cent or 50 per cent of victims of family violence; the fact is that there are no services currently available to assist them. This flies in the face of our international human rights and equal opportunity obligations.

The following statistics demonstrate that at least one in three victims of family violence in Australia is male (perhaps as many as one in two). This figure includes assaults by both male and female perpetrators, and includes family members as well as intimate partners. When reading these quantitative statistics it should be remembered that family violence is extremely complex and doesn’t just boil down to ‘who does what to whom and how badly.’ The context of the violence and abuse is extremely important. Abuse can occur without the use or threat of physical violence.

Recent Australian statistics

The Australian Bureau of Statistics Personal Safety Survey (PSS, 2006) [3] is the largest and most recent survey of violence in Australia. It found that :

  • 28 per cent (around one in three) people who experienced physical assault by an intimate partner (current partner, previous partner, boyfriend, girlfriend or date) in the last 12 months were male
  • 29.8 per cent (almost one in three) victims of current partner violence since the age of 15 were male
  • 24.4 per cent (almost one in four) victims of previous partner violence since the age of 15 were male
  • There were no statistically significant differences in the prevalence rates between women and men experiencing physical assault by known perpetrators in the last 12 months (2.6% or 198,500 women and 2.7% or 213,100 men)
  • In their most recent incident of physical assault by male and female perpetrators in the last 12 months, the difference in estimates for men and women reporting physical assault by a male or female family member/ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend were not statistically significant. However this information does not infer that there were no differences in the overall prevalence of men and women experiencing physical assault by family members/ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.
  • The characteristics of the location of the most recent incidents of physical assault by males and females in the last 12 months showed that while men experienced almost equal numbers of most recent assaults by male and female perpetrators in a home; and while women experienced almost five times as many most recent assaults by male compared to female perpetrators in a home; the total number of most recent assaults experienced in a home was similar for men and women. It is not possible to generate estimates for the total number of persons who experienced physical assault in a home. ?Significant problems with this survey include, (a) only female interviewers were used, (b) a much smaller sample of male informants was used compared to female informants, and (c) no data was published on types of violence or injuries or threats received by male victims.

I was petrified to come home from work and would see her car in the drive and have to drive away and sit for an hour or so by myself to prepare for the likely barrage to come. I lived in terror walking on eggshells around her for nigh on 20 years. I attempted suicide a number of times.

Dan – Male DV victim

The SA Interpersonal Violence and Abuse Survey (1999)[4] found that 32.3 per cent (almost one in three) victims of reported domestic violence by a current or ex-partner (including both physical and emotional violence and abuse) were male.

The Crime Prevention Survey (2001)[5] surveyed young people aged 12 to 20 and found that:

  • while 23 per cent of young people were aware of domestic violence against their mothers or step-mothers by their fathers or step-fathers, an almost identical proportion (22 per cent) of young people were aware of domestic violence against their fathers or step-fathers by their mothers or step-mothers
  • an almost identical proportion of young females (16 per cent) and young males (15 per cent) answered “yes” to the statement “I’ve experienced domestic violence”
  • an almost identical proportion of young females (6 per cent) and young males (5 per cent) answered “yes” to the statement “my boyfriend/girlfriend physically forced me to have sex”. ?The NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research (BOCSAR, 2005)[6] found that between 1997 and 2004, 28.9 per cent (almost one in three) victims of domestic assault in NSW were male. Men and women suffered similar percentages of injuries and similar injury types as illustrated below.

 

Poor dad. I had seen him walking naked in the back yard at night all up- set and embarrassed; and I had seen him crawling under the bed to escape her vicious attacks, and I have seen him nursing his fresh wounds in the toilet, and he would say no word against her.

Son talking about parents

 

Click to enlarge

 

 

Click to enlarge

BOCSAR also examined trends and characteristics of domestic homicides in NSW over the period January 2003 to June 2008 [7]. During this time, there were 215 victims of domestic homicide; 115 females and 100 males (almost one in two victims were male). Intimate partners were responsible for 43 per cent of domestic homicide victims (70 females and 23 males – one in four were male).

The Queensland Crime and Misconduct Commission (2005)[8] found that 32.6 per cent (almost one in three) victims of family violence reported to police were male.

The Australian Institute of Criminology (2008)[9] found that 48.7 per cent (almost one in two) adult victims of family homicide and 35.4 per cent (over one in three) victims of intimate partner homicide in 2006-07 were male.

The Victorian Victims Support Agency (2008) [10] found that 31 per cent (almost one in three) persons admitted to Victorian Public Hospitals for family violence injuries were male.

The Australian Institute of Family Studies (1999) [11] observed that, post-separation, fairly similar proportions of men (55 per cent) and women (62 per cent) reported experiencing physical violence including threats by their former spouse. Emotional abuse was reported by 84 per cent of women and 75 per cent of men.

A University of Melbourne / La Trobe University study (1999) [12] found that men were just as likely to report being physically assaulted by their partners as women. Further, women and men were about equally likely to admit being violent themselves. Men and women also reported experiencing about the same levels of pain and need for medical attention resulting from domestic violence.

An extensive study of dominance and symmetry in partner violence by male and female university students in 32 nations by Murray Straus (2008)[13] found that, in Australia, 14 per cent of physical violence between dating partners during the previous 12 months was perpetrated by males only, 21 per cent by females only and 64.9 per cent was mutual violence (where both partners used violence against each other).

The Queensland Government Department of Communities (2009)[14] reported that 40 per cent of domestic and family violence protection orders issued by the Magistrate Court were issued to protect males.

A study of risk factors for recent domestic physical assault in patients presenting to the emergency department of Adelaide hospitals (2004)[15] found that 7 per cent of male patients and 10 per cent of female patients had experienced domestic physical assault. This finding shows that over one in three victims were male (39.7 per cent).

The Australian Institute of Family Studies’ evaluation of the 2006 family law reforms (2009)[16] found that 39 per cent (more than one in three) victims of physical hurt before separation were male; and 48 per cent (almost one in two) victims of emotional abuse before or during separation were male.

A study of relationship aggression, violence and self-regulation in Australian?newlywed couples by researchers at the University of Queensland (2010)[17]?found that female violence was more common than male violence, with 76 women (20 per cent) and 34 men (9 per cent) reporting to have been violent. In violent couples the most common pattern was for only the woman to be violent (n=48/82 or 59 per cent of violent couples), next most common was violence by both partners (n=28, 34 per cent), and least common was male-only violence (n=6, 7 per cent).

We reiterate: it doesn’t matter whether males make up 5 per cent, 15 per cent, 35 per cent or 50 per cent of victims of domestic violence, the fact is that there are no services currently available to assist them and this flies in the face of our international human rights and equal opportunity obligations.

[1] http://www.bocsar.nsw.gov.au/lawlink/bocsar/ll_bocsar.nsf/pages/bocsar_mr_bb61

[2] http://www.health.sa.gov.au/pros/portals/0/interpersonal-violence-survey.pdf . http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85-224-x/85-224-x2009000-eng.pdf . http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Resource/Doc/296149/0092065.pdf.

[3] http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/DetailsPage/4906.02005 (Reissue)?OpenDocument

[4] http://www.health.sa.gov.au/pros/portals/0/interpersonal-violence-survey.pdf

[5] http://www.crimeprevention.gov.au/agd/WWW/ncphome.nsf/Page/Publications

[6]?http://www.bocsar.nsw.gov.au/lawlink/bocsar/ll_bocsar.nsf/pages/bocsar_mr_cjb89

[7] http://www.lawlink.nsw.gov.au/lawlink/bocsar/ll_bocsar.nsf/pages/bocsar_mr_bb42

[8] http://www.cmc.qld.gov.au/data/portal/00000005/content/73653001131400781353.pdf

[9] http://www.aic.gov.au/en/publications/current%20series/mr/1-20/01.aspx

[10] http://www.justice.vic.gov.au/victimsofcrime/resources/e/1/e12b7580438a02bd93bfd7898c252b91/victorian_family_violence_database_nine_year_report-part_1_1999_2008.pdf

[11] http://www.aic.gov.au/en/publications/current%20series/mr/1-20/01.aspx

[12] http://www.mensrights.com.au/page13y.htm

[13] http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/ID41-PR41-Dominance-symmetry-In-Press-07.pdf

[14] http://www.menshealthaustralia.net/files/Magistrates_Court_data_on_QLD_DVOs.pdf

[15] Stuart, P. (2004). Risk factors for recent domestic physical assault in patients presenting to the emergency department. Emergency Medi- cine Australasia, 16(3), 216-224.

[16] http://www.aifs.gov.au/institute/pubs/fle/evaluationreport.pdf

[17] Halford, W. K., Farrugia, C., Lizzio, A., & Wilson, K. (2010). Relationship aggression, violence and self-regulation in Australian newlywed couples. Australian Journal of Psychology, 62(2), 82-92.

About M. R. Walks

M. R. Walks is an Australian government employee who has become concerned with the direction that country has taken in regard to domestic violence and other aspects of feminist governance.

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  • michael steane

    Personally, I think we should include circumcision in the DV figures.

    • http://permutationofninjas.tumblr.com PoN

      I’m pretty sure that should be filed under child abuse, not DV, but I agree with the sentiment.

    • Darryl X

      Amen!

  • http://www.avoiceformen.com Dr. F

    I was at a party once and was talking to this woman who was getting riled up about some personal issue and I delicately told her I wanted to circulate. You know, talk with others at the party.

    When I turned away I was struck with a closed fist on the side of my head. Hard.

    I reacted in the stunned way as anyone would and all of a sudden there was a hullabaloo there. People around me started on me like a pack of wolves, “Get out”, and Fuck off we don’t need violence here !” was ringing through my un-belted ear. I couldn’t believe it.

    Not one person there said anything to this violent person that had struck me. Not one. Not even my wife at the time.

    I drove to a police station and told them what had just happened and they told me to “fuck off”.

    • Steve_85

      You should see some of the ‘ladies’ that I see on Saturday nights. Newcastle has banned serving drinks in glass because too many people were ending up in hospital. Apparently girls like to use weapons to make up for their lack of upper body strength.

      • Booyah

        yes thats quite visible in the 2004 nsw stats graph with bleeding men being much higher than women

    • Ben

      Nearly all the bar violence here in Starkville, MS is initiated by women against men. The scenario is always the same. The woman assaults the man and then the bouncers beat the shit out of the man and comfort the girl.

      I don’t get out anymore. I refuse to go anywhere that I am viewed like that. I asked several bartenders what they would do if I was being physically attacked by a woman. They didn’t answer. They just looked at me and nodded quietly and soberly as if to say, “We see your point.” I knew that they would do nothing based on their reaction.

      Society does not even tolerate that type of violent behavior out of children. I mean, seriously. Do we, as a society, allow little children to hit adults in the face? And, in the event that the adults restrained the child, do we as a society find it acceptable to use violence against the adult who “put his hands on a child?” Women are infantalized to a greater degree than the actual children themselves. And most of them are lot stronger than your average children and can do a whole lot more harm.

      A friend of mine was talking on the phone by his tailgate in a bar parking lot and was struck in the face with a flying drinking glass. He never even saw it coming but he knew it was an alcohol drink because his eyes were stinging severely. He could not see. The next thing he knew, he was being punched. Without being able to see, he reached out and grabbed the person. At first he assumed it was men attacking him. Come to find out, it was his jealous ex-girlfriend. He had already started fighting her before he even knew he was hitting a girl. She was able to badly slice his face open with the rings she was wearing.

      She broke free of him, shoving him, and stormed away. There were two police officers standing less than 20 feet away. This happened on the sidewalk of a strip of nightclubs known as “The Cotton District.” This is a small town but there are a lot of tiny bars in a row.

      They arrested him after she was gone. In fact, the police had to almost use force in order to stop other male MSU students from attacking him. They were saying, “Oh hell no! That SOB just hit a girl!” and were coming for him. He said that if he would not have gotten arrested, he would have had it even worse because he would have had to fight off about five guys. In fact, he was running from the other male students who were coming after him and this caused him to get charged with resisting arrest, too.

      I told him about the MRM yesterday but he did not seem interested. He was polite but declined when I offered him some information. In fact, he was really going easy on her as he told the story. He is a very small and timid guy. The way that he told the story reminded me of watching a fishing show where the fisherman is trying to give you some fishing tip without scaring the fish, barely audible above the wind. He would never express a strong opinion. He is like a lot of college age men — timid and shy. He, like most guys here, has been raised to be a nice young man, to never get upset, and to never complain.

      He did ask me one thing that I get asked a lot. He asked what is the difference between the MRM and feminism, pointing out that he thought that we both want to eradicate gender roles and that we both want gender egalitarianism. I get that question a lot. (He did not use the actual terms “gender egalitarianism” or “feminism.” These are just 21 year old kids. They don’t use that terminology but I have grown to be able to understand what they mean).

      As we talked more, he told me a very similar story that he watched in which the cops did nothing as a man was being severely beaten by a woman. The guy gets up and goes up to the cop and says, “Officer. That woman just assaulted me.” The cop says, “I didn’t see anything.” The guy says, “look at me! I have been beaten up! And there she is! Right there! Walking away.” The cop says, “You are working on getting yourself cuffed. Go home and sleep it off.”

      This guy told me of these incidences without expressing an opinion. I suggested to him that these things are wrong and that men need a better situation / advocacy, and all. He became silent when I would say things like that. But he was pleasant the whole time. Somehow we, as a society, have attributed any level of perceived discontentment expressed by a man as “anger” or as a sign of lower intelligence or mental instability. And no man wants to be viewed as the angry guy who needs therapy. I think that this is where some of the male timidness on this subject matter is rooted.

      I have been told, “Ben, you seem angry all the time.” “You need help, Ben.” In response, I have tried framing my responses within the suggestions in the catalogue of anti male shaming tactics. I gotta tell you, the general public ain’t buying the “Anger is a legitimate emotion in the face of injustice.” They ain’t buying that one at all. I used to sometimes say that I felt I had a legitimate gripe. When people hear you say that you think you have a legitmate gripe, they will say something like, “Hmmm” and go silent. They don’t agree that a man can have a legitimate gripe. No matter what it is. It all is seen as crying like a little bitch, I suppose.

      This silence I am noticing out of other men is killing me more than anything else. I want to say to them to pick a position and quit being so careful and timid. People just don’t talk about contraversial matters in polite company. But we ain’t in polite company when there are Date Rape posters everywhere. Today, the registration to Walk a Mile in Her Shoes is going on. On March 5th, men will be lining up to walk in women’s high heels and pledge to end sexualized violence against women. Again, this is not “polite company” or a “polite landscape” that I am disrupting with my own political contraversial agenda while trying to cram my opinionated views on everyone else. But that is exactly how I am seen. Do I just say nothing??? I was asked to sign up to walk in women’s shoes today, just outside the cafeteria, for crying out loud. I didn’t bring this fight to their table; they brought their fight to mine.

      • CCRoxtar

        “Society does not even tolerate that type of violent behavior out of children. I mean, seriously. Do we, as a society, allow little children to hit adults in the face? . . . Women are infantilized to a greater degree than the actual children themselves.”

        This, along with the Casey Anthony case, exposes the Western hierarchy of whose lives are most valuable: women 1st, children 2nd, men last.

        • Stu

          Woman first, woman second, woman third, female child forth, pet cat, pet dog, gold fish, buggie. Men don’t even matter at all. The only thing we matter for, is paying bills, taxes, and providing. Male children only matter while they are kids, and can be used to gain benefits…..welfare, child support, anything that comes under the women and children first policies, but they don’t matter once they are grown.

          I remember a single mother with two boys said to me once, while in one of her “all men are bastards” rants…..”the thing about having boys, is they grow up to be bloody men”

        • keyster

          Yeah, sorry but you forgot PETA.
          Animal Rights is a huge well funded movement, filled with radicals and terrorists.

          So it’s:
          1) Women
          2) Children
          3) Cute furry animals
          4) Men and boys

        • Ben

          I have been lambasted so cruelly for referring to the Casey Anthony trial as an example of female privilege or a manifestation of the western sexual rank structure by both men and women so many times that I don’t even go there anymore. The reaction is almost reflexive. People snap, “She was found not guilty by a jury.” Then they accuse me of not believing in due process or a trial by jury and say that support mob justice. They often follow this by saying that the prosecutor – a MAN – lost the case.

          Then their comparison to the O.J. Simpson trial follows. They use this comparison as a weapon to “put me in my place,” so they think, and tell me that the Casey Anthony trial had nothing to do with gender. (They always use the PC term “gender,” too. They just don’t know any better).

          In fact, I was faced with this same exact type of thing just yesterday before class. Me and a few of my friends were standing in a circle outside waiting for our first class shooting the breeze. Somebody brought up a recent drug overdose http://www.reflector-online.com/mobile/news/felony-drug-charges-brought-following-overdose-death-1.2700353 that happened here at MSU. A girl died after overdosing on a mixture of cocaine and heroin. The big story in the newspaper was about the manhunt that followed. Who gave her the drugs. Needless to say, they found her dealer and are going to make an example out of him.

          I pointed out that if any of us (all males) would have overdosed after being supplied heroin and cocaine by a female student, the reaction would not have been the same. Police would not have expended the same enormous resources, time, money, and energy to find the dealer and punish her. The public would not have demanded a “womanhunt.”

          If you click the link, notice how the story is framed, “Felony Drug Charges Brought Following Overdose Death.” She overdosed and they look incessantly for a MAN to pay.

          To make a long story short, I was immediately hauled over the coals for “trying to make this out to be another one of my gender issues.” They excoriated me to the fullest degree but they did so while maintained a playful, joking demeanor (You know how people kid each other but with an underlying real meaning). We are supposed to be friends, I guess. But I still fully see their underlying meaning.

      • Rper1959

        Ben, keep quietly and politely expressing your opinions, slowly but surely the truth of what you say will get through even to the blinded.

        • Ben

          Thanks, Rper. I need to get back to making videos and distributing them here, I think. That way, I have control over what I want to say because I have the damn camera, the mic, and the off-switch, lol.

          Now would be an excellent time for me to do that, too. They are currently targeting men and asking us to sign up to walk a mile in women’s high heels on March 5th and pledge to end sexualized violence against women.

          In fact, I was targeted and asked to sign up when I was just minding my own business trying to walk into the cafeteria to eat my lunch. I was really involved in an engineering project and I was finally making some headway. But, after this happened, it disrupted my ability to concentrate. This really needs to stop.

          The trouble is, I don’t have hardly any spare time. I will see what I can do.

    • Stu

      You bastard Dr F, you hit her on her fist with your head.

      I had a really tough girlfriend for a while when I was 18yo. Tough for a woman anyway. I was at a party one night and a woman hit me in the side of the head with her half full UDL can. My girlfriend…….Sandy….wasn’t with me, but it was a couple of blocks from her place…..so I walked down there, came back with her………and she beat the fucking crap out of that woman….and even punched a guy in the face that tried to talk her down. She was a lot of trouble…..more then she was worth most of the time…..but on that occasion…..I was like……..yes…yes…..hit her again….now lay that boot in…..right in the face…..yessss…….lol LOL.

      I’m betting that woman thought twice about ever hitting a guy in public again. Most guys won’t do shit back, but you never know what sort of lunatic girlfriend they might have lol

      • Booyah

        Kind of like a girlfriend I had who picked up a coffee table and threw it at another girl for looking at her man. She looked at me, bang cop a coffee table. Taller than me, wider than me and heavier than me. A shapely amazon. She hurled it well. Any time after that if I had to talk to another woman I talked to her feet for her own sake.

      • http://www.avoiceformen.com Dr. F

        That’s right Stu, I was on fire with my violence that night.

        Not only did I deliberately bruise her hand and chip her nails but I enacted violence on the other women at the party by ignoring their cries at me.

        As “The Plan” is about to wash on our Aussie shores, I may be under retrospective inspection of the events of that night as I was abusing others with my ‘neglection of female needs’.

        I mean, I really did remove myself from the party without there being any workshopping instigated by myself and of this I am truly regrettable.

        I am now off to the shed to siphon the mower of petrol and start doing a bit of gargling. I feel it best as doing this not only staves of caries but has the feminists staying waaaay back.

      • BeijaFlor

        Ya know, Stu, this is the absolute fuckin’ rippin’ shit – that a guy needs a woman to beat up on the bitch who slugs him with a can of (what? UDL? What’s that?)

        But the facts are simple. If you’d thrown a punch at her, or even blocked her attack, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL YOUR FAULT YOU SEXIST SONOFABITCH.

        It is fuckin’ fully forbidden for a man to TOUCH a berserk woman, but she can KILL you with a GUN and walk free by explaining that “she feared you.”

        • http://www.avoiceformen.com Dr. F

          United Distillers Limited, more commonly known as UDL, is an Australian brand of pre-mix.

          Off the record it’s known often to be scoffed by young yobbo chicks.

          Classy combos include “Vodka and pineapple crush” “Vodka and green apple”, and who can forget the can best served to royalty themselves – “Ouzo and cola”

          Yuk. Chunder in a tin I reckon.

        • Stu

          UDL, a popular line of liquer mixed with soft drink…..vodka and orange, rum and cola, scotch and cola.

          Yes they can kill us with a gun and walk free by just saying that they feared us……and the only reason they need to fear us…….is because we a men…….we don’t have to do anything. This is enshrined in dv law now where a woman can have you booted out of your home……because she is afraid of you…..without any logical reason for her to be afraid of you. So the law will take away your home……if you’re a man…..on the basis of someone elses emotions towards you…..and they could be afraid of the dark…..afraid of there own shadow…….a paranoid looney…..bad luck…..what she fears has to be removed.

          Have a look at what our government pays for….this ad features Mark Brandon Read…….Chopper as he is known…..a notorious underworld hitman…..for years considered one of the most dangerous men in the country. In prison he used to beat men up and mutilate them just to make name for himself. So the government use him in dv and rape ads…….what they are saying here is……we will hand you over to chopper…..or other men like him.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_2M3LrfFAw

          Now, we have mad dog killers, mutilators….torturers…..and all round violent nut cases…..and they are chivalrists……to the extreme……yeah right…..it’s like this. Yes……I’ve killed people……tortured people to death…..burned them alive…….but hey…..I protect women..and think guys that even look the wrong way at a woman should spend what’s left of their very short life in extreme agony……..so I’m a cool guy after all……right….and the feminists agree….they let him represent their cause. You see what I see. Chivalry and manginaism….is just a way that bad guys get to redeem themselves and look good……to who counts…..woman….as long as I stand up for women…..I can be a theif…..a fraud…..and killer….all is forgiven if I’m a tool for women.

    • http://Human-Stupidity.com Human-Stupidity.com

      this is so profoundly shocking and disgusting. I think something seriously needs to be done about this.

      Unprovoked attack from behind with a closed fist and then getting verbally attacked by everything else and refused service at police.

      Men need a Martin Luther King or some other figure to take up their plight. I suggest we start making plans. A youtube video would be a good start, of police reaction and of the party goers reaction. Unfortunately you could not get the woman’s violent act on video, unless you carry a constant video recorder on yourself.

      • http://www.avoiceformen.com Dr. F

        Yeah well I won’t bloody well forget it in a bit.

        It was like a slow motion car crash and when I stepped out of the smouldering vehicle the other nightmare began.

        If Rod Serling had walked out of the shadows I would have thought, “Ok, now I get it.”

        The upshot of it was that I was served a pill the size of a hockey puck with a sign on it that said, “Nibble here.”

        • BeijaFlor

          Don’t soft-peddle it so blatantly, Dr. F!

          You had no chance to “nibble” the pill, like Alice In Wonderland with the cake that said “Eat Me.” You had it shoved down your throat, raw edges and all, with a fist clad in chain-mail. And it chafed, scored, cut and bludgeoned your craw, every which way, as it was shoved down your bloodied and bruised esophagus.

          Just like the rest of us.

    • Darryl X

      Happens all the time.

  • Tawil

    I was at a party recently with a freind who is nearly 7ft tall and all muscle. At the party he saw a pack of cigarettes on the table and decided to borrow one as he had run out. A few minutes later he was confronted by a woman who, pissed off, asked if he had stolen one of her fags. He says yes, whereupon she proceeded to throw several punches at his face, about 20% of them connected. He turned his back to her and she started biting his back -HARD- and then he decided enough was enough and grabbed a fist full of her hair and slowly pulled her down to the ground where he held her until she ran out of energy from screaming and struggling.

    He and i left the party. Next morning he showed me his back- 12 huge black bruises from the bites and her teeth had fully pierced his skin around each bite. His lip was split in two places. He sort of laughed it off, but I convinced him to go and lodge an assault charge and accompanied him to the police station. He showed the police his back and lip, and the cop asked, “what happened to you big fella?”. He told them a short blonde girl had done it….. the two cops roared with laughter. He said he wanted to press charges, and they said, “you are not serious are you?”. He went ahead with it, and the cops were bewildered that he would want to press charges against a woman.

    A few months later after some letters to the police from the girl’s father -who was a local politician- the police ‘encouraged’ him to drop the charges. He did, mostly because he couldn’t be bothered trying to work it through a system that was patently unsupportive.

    • http://Human-Stupidity.com Human-Stupidity.com

      again, this should be fully documented. Police report, witnesses.

      Maybe at register-it.com? register both police and the girl?

      But serious, something needs to be done. While women criminalize non-violent thought crimes like elevator eyes and objectifying gaze at the work place, women get away with truly violent crime.

      Can you imagine the guy knocking out the woman once she bit him? I would automatically turn around and knock out anyone that bites me in the back. Clear case of self defense. And of trained reflexes.

      Am I the only one that gets profoundly disturbed by this? We are talking serious violence. The guy could get Aids, Hepatitis, or even rabies from these bites.

      Why do men’s rights just blabber about this while women would be picketing the police station, the perpetrator’s house and be a Oprah’s? What is missing? solidarity?

  • Skeptic

    Thanks M. R. Walks,
    May years ago my ex wife used to go psycho – throwing screamed insults and household objects at home. She used to attack me with kicks and fists when I was driving the family car whilst our very young son was terrified in the back seat. This was on narrow winding country roads with oncoming traffic including fully laiden trucks!
    She even threw a kitchen knife at me one time which missed by mere inches and was impaled into the wooden kitchen floor quivering next to my foot.
    That was the final straw.
    I left and took refuge as a voluntary ‘patient’ in a Psychiatric hospital for a couple of weeks as there were no refuges for battered men.
    Thereafter I divorced to live a safe life.
    In the process I spoke to many folks – police, social workers, counselors, solicitors, judges.
    Not one of them so much as suggested I press charges and take out a protection order.
    Their whole attitude was “What did you do to provoke her?” as though I was the bad guy perpetrator. Unbelievable!
    It was one of my first BIG red pills to swallow.
    That was all over 20 years ago now, but it still haunts me and to this day I’m really wary around women and suspicious of folks in the social services.
    I’d dearly love to see the idiot educator you talk of stopped from creating the kind of environment where men can’t report being victims of DV because they won’t be believed. So how can you challenge this fembot so she’s not spreading more misandric shit – name and shame?

  • blueface

    Wow! M.R. An excellent article.

    One of the issues here is that when talking about violence is the definition of violence. The statistics include everything from being threatened with a “grabbing of the arm” to being killed, resurrected and killed again.

    For this reason, it makes it easy to downplay the violence that men experience as well as exaggerate the violence against women.

    The various groups and government departments are looking for the emotional reaction to obtain funding, and would declare an epidemic of alien invasion if it would bring in the money. There is no interest in the truth.

    Similarly, the “zero tolerance” approach to violence only includes certain types of violence.

    Domestic violence against men is to my mind the worst kind because the man is not allowed by society to physically defend himself. Indeed, as the laws here in Australia get worse, men will be even less able to resort to physical violence to defend themselves.

    It is even more perverse as the man is actually the one who, by the government’s thinking, is the one who should be giving rather than receiving the violence. It is a double failure on his part, rather a cause for concern for his welfare.

    So not only does he not exist, as far as his own society is concerned, but he cannot exist. This is true apartheid, true bigotry and real hatred.

    • BeijaFlor

      True enough, blueface. I accept the fact of my “unpersonhood” from the very precept of my declared desires.

      There is a side to me that very-much regrets the fact that I will nevermore have a love affair with a woman who “complements” my masculinity. But that “side” is very thoroughly countered and contravened by my awareness that Team Womyn is out to suppress my sexuality, to declare me “perverted and villainous,” and to entrap me by means of my generosity and willingness to give of myself.

      Men do that, ya know. We really DO want to ensure the survival of our own young, enough so that we’ll devote ourselves to children that may-or-may-not be derived from our own baby-batter.

      I am strongly enough “yang-charged” that a woman with an appropriate yin-charge could probably render me as putty in her hands. Fortunately, I am “weird enough” with my past that few women will regard me as worth plucking.

  • Free Human Being

    It’s articles like this that I wish more people could see, thanks.

  • Ben

    Outstanding article! You point out that men are excluded from being seen as victims on the excuse that men are the minority of victims. But then, LGBT are given special advocacy in this area because they are the minority of victims. Thanks for exposing their tone-shaping. That is powerful writing!

    • OneHundredPercentCotton

      That was an EXCELLENT point – that men are ignored as victims because there are fewer male victims.

      The United States has spent billions and billions of dallars on sex offender witch hunts and maintaining public pillory registries without a modicrum of evidence it is effective.

      Why?

      “Because if it saves “just one child” it’s worth it.

      A billion dollar industry to save one possible child without evidence that even one child has EVER been “saved”, but mountains of evidence of children who are actually harmed.

      It’s OK. It’s WORTH it to save just one child.

      All the money lavished on airport scanners, traffic photo scanners,smog testing vehicles, even flouride in our water systems are welcome burdens for public safety and health but not a penny to spare for male victims of domestic abuse.

      • Stu

        Well I think if I had to point to one single event in my life that had the most detrimental effect on my future it would be when my dad was removed from our home when I was 6yo. This paved the way for a serious of events that effected my life…and my brothers….negatively. I often wonder what would have been if he had of been there full time all along when I was growing up. I won’t get into the details……..but my mother…..after all these years…..not long ago said to me in a conversation……we were having one of those “what would you do differently” conversations…..if we had our time over again…..she said she would not have got with my step father……then she said……she would have stayed with my father. She knows after all this time…..that she should have stayed with him…..and everyones life would have been better….and many of the bad things that happened afterwards would not have happened. I think if I could go back in time and change one thing, and only one thing……it would be that.

        • Stu

          The point I was making, is that the divorce industry, the abuse industry, capitalizes on women’s tendency to emote instead of think…it encourages them to do whatever they feel like at the time……and the result is that most children are worse off…and hurt by their decisions.

          I am convinced, that in the majority of cases, a child is better off with their biological father full-time in their life. When my son was born, I think I realized for the first time how my father felt about me. He was always there for me….even after the split….and in my teenage years, when I got to have a lot more to do with him….he was the one that always had my back….no matter what…..and believe me that was no small task. I also realized how painful it must have been to be removed and become a one day per fortnight father. I don’t think real fathers are replaceable, by anybody. I’ve had a step father, and I’ve been a step father, and I’ve lived raised by a single mum, all of these things have told me that there is nobody that can replace a real father. And woman who remove their children’s real father from their lives lightly…….commit a grievous crime against their children.

          The whole witchhunting abuse industry, family court industry, and feminism, is inflicting more harm on children collectively than all the child abusers in the world, they are the biggest child abusers of all.

          • BeijaFlor

            Stu, you’ve got an “Amen” from me, for that.

            I was raised by women; my mother, her sister, and their mother shared the house where I grew up. The stuff I’d have learned from my father, I had to find out for myself. I learned to live in “stealth mode,” never doing anything that would leave me in need of someone to “cover my back.” Slunk through my childhood and adolescence like a mouse at a cat show.

            Now, it’s easy for me to “go it alone.” I’m old enough to use the “set in my ways” excuse. I will not get married or sire a kid, because I don’t choose to spend the rest of my life fulfilling someone else’s whims at the expense of my own dreams.

          • Darryl X

            @BF – yeah, I did that too. Like a mouse at a cat show. Great analogy. Still doing it.

          • Darryl X

            Totally agree, Stu. In most instances, children are better off with their biological fathers. And contrary to most propaganda, most fathers would welcome full-time dadhood.

            Single moms (which includes them with their boy-friends and new husbands) are much more likely to physically abuse or kill their children than single fathers. That doesn’t even include parental alienation and other kinds of emotional abuse.

            Today, the government snatches children and holds them hostage for ransom. It uses the ransom from a large fraction of the population (mostly men) and uses it to buy-off another large fraction (mostly women) in exchange for political power and influence.

            That is CHILD TRAFFICKING and ABUSE and SLAVERY of fathers. It’s tragic what the government and mothers have done to our children. What’s even more tragic is that men have allowed this to continue for forty years without any objection.

            Remember Thomas Ball who died for our children.

        • Kimski

          Agreed. The removal of my dad from my life was the single biggest event with the most damaging effect to me, too. I never forgave my mom for that.
          Ever.

        • Darryl X

          I hope my children have a conversation like that some day with their mother. I hope, like you, they realize what they lost. I sometimes think that many children grow up today brainwashed without understanding the importance of their father in their lives (not their step-father but their real father). Step-fathers make very poor substitute fathers.

    • BeijaFlor

      Men CANNOT be victims, because we are convex rather than concave.

      Men are poor “victims” anyways. We are, presumably, strong, well-muscled, rational, dominant (alpha), and in control. It is, in all conventional labeling, our “dominance” that is most disgusting and negatively-labelled about us.

      Even the kicked-down, prostrate, incapacitated and trod-upon homunculus of Team Womyn’s dreams would be regarded as a “potential oppressor,” because after all he Might Possibly roll over and thereby trip up the Deservedly Dominant Womyn that stood on his helpless and quiescent body. We are not talking about Queen Elizabeth treading on Sir Walter Raleigh’s cloak; we’re talking about her treading on his quivering, prostrate, punished, enslaved body and buns and back, all the while he’s suffocating in the mud.

  • Booyah

    I ran away from home at 15. Fled an emotionally and physically abusive mother. Lived without a home for 3 weeks. FACS solution? (DCW in those days I think) Cart me back to the abusive mother!! Why? Well at a guess shes female and im less important. They never got me into another FACS office again after that. They were put on the list to flee with the mother. Child abuse victim of a mother? Male? Don’t go to the government! That was over 20 yrs ago and many feminism horrors have followed in my once fine country. I bet even then I wasnt recorded as a male child abused by a mother.
    I’d like to add that I’ve made peace with her since but that does not alter what was a disgraceful situation.
    It sickens and disgusts me to live here now.

    • BeijaFlor

      Booyah, you were properly self-saving beyond my own behavior!

      My Mom talked me out of running away from home when I was 8 years old. Instead, I stuck with Mom after I reached legal adulthood. By 21 I was paying the rent for our apartment; when I was 31, I bought the house where Mom lived out the rest of her life. I took “sick leave” for the last months of her life, so that she could die with me present. I put her hand on top of mine, that last night when she faded into Cheyne-Stokes breathing, so that “she wouldn’t feel like I was holding on to her.”

      I was 48 years old, and still sharing a house (whose mortgage and all expenses I paid out of my own salary), when Mom went West.

      Can you even remotely imagine the sort of womyn who would be even-in-the-least willing to spend time with the likes of me? Neither can I – but there were, in fact, a few.

      • Stu

        Can I imagine a woman who would want to spend time with you…….depends…..did you mum leave you the house you paid for in her will…….if so……I’m sure there a millions of women who would love to spend just enough time with you to relieve you of it.

        • BeijaFlor

          I like the way you phrase that, Stu … “just enough time with you to relieve you of it.” But like a fish, if I don’t open my mouth, I won’t swallow the hook. If I lay low, I’m less likely to get netted.

          I’d already seen enough bad divorces, enough trumped-up harassment cases, enough womyn-instigated shit, to persuade me to steer clear of the femarchy. What I’ve been reading here angers me, “triggers” me, but makes me much more glad that I have steered clear.

          For me, it’s all a question of trust.

  • http://Human-Stupidity.com Human-Stupidity.com

    I already said it, but am saying it again.

    Women are protected from thought crimes, objectifying gazes that scar a women for life, invitations for lunch (harassment) and other silly minor inconveniences.

    And women get away with dangerous violent crimes, that simply qualify as battery, assault, murder attempt in 2000 year old legal codes?

    What is wrong?

    By the way, Human-Stupidity frequently tries to question the evolutionary reasons, the psychological mechanisms, the manipulative argumentations behind all this. Very few people care.

    But it is important to understand how women garnered the support of academia (see the AVM report on falsification of DV data) and the United Nations, of Obama, Hillary, and Biden with fake falsified data.

    Serious action is needed. But would men ever unite like women do? and then get additional support by the other gender, as women do? what is missing?

    • OneHundredPercentCotton

      You have it backwards. Women “united” at the instigation of The Other Gender.

      That’s like saying black people first “united” then got “additional support” from The Other Race considering First Lady Elenore Roosevelt predated Rosa Parks by two decades.

      The game was rigged by The Other Gender. They alone had the power to do so – not a bunch of silly bra burning women.

      • Stu

        Yes politicians use feminism, and become white knights and manginas, for the same reason that Chopper Read does. It’s like, being a mangina trumps all else. Don’t look at my miserable incompetence, don’t look at all my dirty dealings, or the wars I’ve started, or my crappy policies…..yes I’m scum……but I’m the biggest mangina and white knight that ever walked the earth……so that…….washes away all my sins……and I come up smelling like a rose……now vote for me.

        Have you ever noticed that the biggest scum bags seem to always be chivalrists. I reckon chivalry and manginaism has become a standard smoke screen to hide behind for men who are incompetent, criminal, or just plain losers. It’s no wonder the Australian government think it’s ok to recruit the services of Chopper Read……they are just like him……no matter how much a low life you are, just offer to commit violence on behalf of women and you are hero.

        Offer to take away men’s rights, offer to brutalize men on behalf of women, and you will be able to get away with anything else. Just replace Chopper in the ad with Joe Biden…..there is no difference.

    • keyster

      “But would men ever unite like women do?”

      Against women?
      No, never happen.

      That’s like convincing the roosters to join together and overthrow the hen house. Or the old alpha buck in a deer herd to bring the beta and omega bucks together to combat the “injustice” of some of the weaker deer not having access to the harem.

      Flies in the face of nature, or the male’s natural tendencies vis a vis the female.

      • Rper1959

        Men don’t need to unite against women per sae, but against the injustice, prejudice and discrimination that is directed against men as a group, by the men and women who make up the ruling elites, the corrupt government officials and the dishonest academics who feed the policy making and enforcement of sexist laws. We are after the farmer and his or her family and business colleagues, most of the hen’s in the hen house probably want to be released.

      • Stu

        But we might unite against the manginas and white knights….and that will be enough.

    • Darryl X

      I totally agree, Human-Stupidity. Understanding the underlying evolutionary and biochemical and neurophysiological mechanisms associated with and influencing female behavior is very important to identifying a solution to our dilemma. Without understanding (or at least acknowledging, since we already do understand much) the mechanisms, there can be no solution to our dilemma. As such, there can be no political, legal, social or financial solution. Because so much of the behavior is hardwired, revolution as an affirmative defense remains the only viable alternative. That behavior of females is hard-wired is not to suggest that they are not responsible for their behavior and don’t have choices. They do. They are just lazy.

  • Stu

    Well while we are at it, I had a friend who caught his wife cheating on him, he forgave her, and they made up. They moved from NSW to Victoria, and started anew. She got a job working for Kodak. Then one day he notices that she is coming home later and later from work, making all sorts of excuses. Then he finds out, that this guy she had been bonking up in NSW, is living in the next suburb, and working at his wifes work lol. So he confronts her about it, and starts sleeping in the spare room….and she takes every opportunity to start fights with him. She threw shit at him one night, then they had a real big yelling match, she calls the cops…..they take him away…..restraining order…..and he can’t go home. He rolls up on my doorstep…with nothing but the clothes on his back…..I took him in…a month later he got a flat. Her lover moved into what was his place, with his wife.

    Another friend, turns up at my place one night…with blood stains all over his clothes, and several facial injuries. He had been at the police station since the afternoon…..after his drunken drug addicted 6’2″ 17yo stepson had a go at him with a knife during an argument. He is only a little guy, but he done his best to defend himself, but his wife, and his wifes sister both joined in and beat him with shit from the kitchen…and kicked the shit out of him with the stepson,…….while he was on the floor…..he called the cops..and got taken away in hand cuffs. Restraining order……not allowed to go back to his house.

    Yet another friend, who was seeing this woman..and proposed to her…..brough the engagment ring and all…..she knocked him back…and said she just wanted casual no strings attached sex…….nothing more. So he left it at that. Kept seeing her casually…..but he ended up hooking up with another woman……then the shit started. Two years of stalking….she sent letters to all his family….saying he had got her pregnant and forced her to have an abortion….but she actually couldn’t have kids…she had a hysterectomy years before she had met him. She rang his work…impersonated a police officer….pretended to be investigating him for rape. She made all sorts of threats…….going to burn his house down……going to kill him and his new wife….going to get his kids…….all by email and text message……the cops wouldn’t do anything….nothing. His wife found her one night sneaking around their property in the dark….when she was home alone…..the cops finally arrested her…since another woman was in fear for her life. His wife put a restraining order on her.

    That’s a very small, tiny sampling of the double standards I’ve personally seen……not even the worst of them….I haven’t even mentioned my brother…my father…my uncles….and family friends going back to when I was a kid. I’ve seen this totally hyped up hysteria over any little pissy thing a guy does…..or is said to have done…..and then nothing when women are abusing men and doing real criminal acts. It’s standard operating procedure..and it’s getting worse all the time.

    I fear the only answer to all this is when things are so bad, that the majority of men turn against manginas and white knights……and mangina bashing becomes a national sport.

    • Darryl X

      As I’ve said before, the man with whom your wife is committing adultery is just as responsible for defrauding you as she is. That element of female domestic violence and misconduct is something that has been lacking in all the analysis and discussion about adultery, paternity fraud, child snatching, child support, etc… These men (who are feminists) need to be held accountable for their behavior too.

  • yurlungur

    Reading all these stories has me shaking my head in disbelief.
    If a situation breaks out and you don’t think you will be able to stop it then I would suggest you record it on your cell.
    When at the police station tape the conversation in secret.
    If the police laugh at you or your complaint then report it to whatever body handles complaints against the police.

    • Kimski

      That won’t make any difference. The body that handles complaints against the police ARE the police, in most western countries today. And those guys cover each others back, no matter how serious the crime or complaint might be.

      Excellent article, mr.Walks.

      I would very much like a place in here where all of these stories were collected and signed for posterity. It would make an awesome monument of womens innate capability for violence. Every single man I have ever known in my life have a story like the ones above to tell, and I have a couple of them too.

      It would give me great pleasure, whenever the work was considered done, or the amount of material massive enough, to send out links to it to the people in charge of DV laws, in every western country in the world. And then some.

      • http://Human-Stupidity.com Human-Stupidity.com

        Absolutely, this should be done. As well documented as possible. With exact address of the police station, names of the police officers etc.

        If possible with corroborating proof.

        If there are witnesses, the witnesses should be described, if not by full name then in a way an investigating officer could locate them.

        Human-Stupidity.com wants to truth to be known, the truth to spread and truth and honesty to win.

        • yurlungur

          WordPress comment duplication detection is driving me nuts.

      • yurlungur

        Well then you post the evidence online and expose them.
        Maybe even embarrass them a little in the process.
        Even if it has no effect on the authorities then maybe you can get through to a couple of blue pillers out there.
        It seems to have worked with daddy justice.
        These people need to be exposed for who they really are.

        • Kimski

          That’s actually an even better idea.

          Stats can be falsified, but a hundred thousand different stories from an equal amount of different men??
          -Even the least empathic persons on the planet would be yelling;’-stop it, I can’t take anymore!’, after reading the first couple of hundred stories.

          Maybe entitle a facebook account with something like ‘Tell Your Story Of DV’, or something similar. It would only take an admin a couple of minutes every day to erase every female complaint, or ‘what-happens-to-women-are-sooo-much-worse’-story, and/or keep the male stories on a closed file for themselves, for later publishing.

          I predict it wouldn’t take long to collect a serious amount of biographies this way. I’m quite sure it would turn out to be an interesting read for the vast majority of men. And maybe even give some of them a little something to think about, before rushing up to the altar and handing over their lives to a psycho- or sociopath in spe.

          • Stu

            It would give them something to laugh about. Violence by women, against men is comedy remember.

          • Kimski

            Sad, but true fact, proven with stunning consistency on every channel on TV, every day and everywhere.

  • Darryl X

    I’ve had similar experiences. Wife actually stabbed me in the back, literally, with a pair of butcher knives. Same response from professionals and friends and the police and coworkers – “What did you do to provoke her?”

    Simple. I refused to acquiesce to her manipulation and objected politely and in a civil manner to her lies. That was my last straw too. I basically withdrew from my family at that point and then she divorced me because I stopped indulging her violent behavior.

    That she could no longer manipulate me infuriated her. I didn’t divorce her because we had children and I knew that if I did I would lose them. Lost them anyway.

    But it’s all about manipulation. Women get angry when you don’t acquiesce to their manipulation (particularly manipulation of you with their chronic victimhood).

    That’s the difference between female and male DV. Female DV is irrational. An expression of their solipsism. Male DV usually is defense of themselves or their children. So, it’s not really DV but defense.

    That’s where some of the misunderstanding about male and female DV statistics come from. Most people equate a male’s defense of himself and children from a woman as DV but it’s not.

    Real DV is an intent to hurt and intimidate the other person so you can get what you want, no matter how self serving and irrational and excessive. That’s malignant narcissism. Women are “projecting” their own motives and behavior on a man when the falsely accuse him.

    Most alleged DV by males is not with intent to hurt someone or get what they want. It’s self defense. So when misinterpretations of DV like confusing self defense with DV are ignored, women are responsible for most DV. NOT men.

    I don’t believe for a second that only one in three victims of domestic violence are men. I also do not believe that men are responsible for most domestic violence. These conclusions defy my personal experience, objective observations as a scientist, and most published studies concerning DV.

    • Stu

      You are correct. Most men I know have been, or are in relationships where they are constantly backing down, caving in, groveling and crawling, to avoid abuse, and still don’t avoid it. One of the guys I told you about above, got himself into another relationship almost straight away, to a really controlling, jealous woman who has isolated him from every friend, family member he had, included me. She moved into his house and started dictating everything slowly, until he no longer goes out, see anybody…..and you practically need to make an appointment and navigate all her excuses to go over to visit. If one of his friends comes over……..just pops in……she be very cold, stand offish, sarcastic, and when they are gone, she’ll usually start a big fight with him over nothing.

      He is destined to be booted out one day, branded an abuser, and stripped of his assets, I can’t believe he can’t see this coming…….they have a kid now.

      • Darryl X

        I think that’s one important reason circumstances have degenerated as much as they have. Too many men acquiesce to these women and their manipulation. Too many men are pussy-whipped feminist tools. I condemn men like this whenever I encounter them. I tell them they should be ashamed to call themselves men.

        • Bombay

          Encouraging men to take charge of there lives will most likely be more effective than gender shaming.

    • BeijaFlor

      Darryl, I hope “her” kids by you are OK.

      One of my traits is that I’m eager to please, especially in a “romantic” relationship. I want my partner to be happy; I want to do the things she enjoys; I want to please her.

      And I’m fool enough to hear “I love you” when she’s really saying “I’m willing to tolerate you for the sake of your money.”

      The most workable way I have for avoiding that trap is to keep to myself, do my own thing, find my own joy (which I do!) on my own, and leave no room in my life for the would-be usurper. In short, go my own way.

      • Darryl X

        Well, they haven’t seen their father (me) in five years. So, in that respect, they are not alright. She is a true lunatic. Any woman who can commit adultery, make unprovoked attempts on the life of her husband, abuse her children, lie in court, falsify police reports, alienate her children from their father, and steal property probably isn’t a very good mother. So, no they aren’t alright. But what do I do about it. Nothing. My fatherhood, manhood, education, employment and scholar have been outlawed. It’s the way it is in the US today.

  • CrazyTexan

    Men are the new NHI. (No Humans Involved)