men going their own way

TyphonBlue hits a home run

This one is still sailing over the parking lot.

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  • Clem Burke

    WOW, that was a huge impact !

  • Booyah

    Great stuff Typhon as always. I think most of us realise the first part. Any female definition of manhood is going to be exploitative whether it be the much loved 50 yr old shit shaming sandwich or the “you catch more flies with honey” approach.

    The second part I have been trying to work on very much for the last 12 months. Men have to claw back their own worth, It’s the only way anyone is ever going to let us have it back. That starts with us recognizing the worth of our fellow men, not just ourselves.

    Loved the pink whip as well btw.

  • Cumbria

    Powerful, important message!! I hope everyone will watch this one. This is real.

  • https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Voice-for-Men/102001393188684 Paul Elam

    “That’s the heroes journey.”

    I wonder how many people really get what that means.

    Brilliant.

    • vklaatu

      It’s right out of Campbell and Bly.

  • RM1970

    Typhonblue you are perfect. You hit a home run or like we say here, marcou um gol de placa, you scored a remarkable goal, I already subscribe your YouTube channel, but only this video worth to subscribe. I never liked, sometimes I hated the main stream media, follow channels like your channel is refreshing, keep it up. Congratulations.

    • http://www.genderratic.com typhonblue

      “Typhonblue you are perfect.”

      No. Not even close.

      • Stu

        No, not perfect. At the end, after articulating that “you are still sucking on your mothers tit” I would have added, “and you have a very small dick” :)

        Nah, just kidding.

        If you were a man, I would say, “very good video” but since you are a women, I have to say something bad. I’ll think of something later :)

      • http://gloriusbastard.com/ JJ

        Maybe not, but you are working it doll!

        Honestly: You are sucking on your mother’s tit if your /denominator is /woman(or women in general being worse)!

        Who says women can’t do math? :D

      • RM1970

        It’s a figure of speech, a hyperbole if you will. I know you are not perfect, you love cats! For God’s sake! I am a dog person, my dogs HATE cats, ergo I can’t like cats. Let me rephrase, your definition of manhood is perfect, at least is the best I ever heard.

  • http://www.deanesmay.com Dean Esmay

    It should be a permanent reference.

  • Phil in Utah

    Is it really such a bad thing that I think there’s more to my life than female approval?

  • Shrek6

    Man, it hurts when someone cuts to the chase!
    Well, for some it may.
    Great vid Typhon. Something I reckon all men should see.

  • Peter Wright (Tawil)

    “The reaction to another man in need…. that reaction is your manhood”.

    Beautiful.

    • Shrek6

      A whole book could be written on that one sentence hey Tarwil. Thank goodness we have some men here who actually live by that code in a positive sense.

  • Stephen O’Brian

    I couldn’t give a flying fuck if TyphonBlue appreciates this comment or not.

    • http://www.genderratic.com typhonblue

      That’s the spirit!

  • Stu

    This is one of my favorite Typhon vids. I was surprised when I first seen it just hours after it was uploaded.

    If what she says she suspects will happen…the lose of subscribers…..which I don’t think will, or at least will be small, and made up for by new subscribers in no time……if that lose happens, I believe it will be because when men look in the mirror that these statements force them to look in……they will feel like a little kid that is caught with his hand in the cookie jar…….sprung. Call it shame…or guilt if you like. But this is not shaming language, it’s just the truth.

    Guys, did you feel that little bit of pain when being told these facts, from a woman. Feel that….ouch. Hurts don’t it lol That is your natural emotional response to being disapproved of by a woman. The urge then rises to accommodate the disapproving woman, or women. You can see exactly how feminism has got men by the balls through this.

    What men need to do is recognize this, and learn to disregard it. But since most will not, I hand women like Typhon a pink whip, and urge her to wield it LOL

    Lets face it guys. What is your instinct when you see a woman broken down on the side of the road, at night, alone. Maybe you don’t stop, because your in a hurry, or whatever, but you feel like it don’t you.

    What do you feel like when you see a man in the same situation? Probably nothing. It’s as if he doesn’t even exist.

    I say be aware of your feelings, your urges, but act only on your conscious thoughts. If you won’t stop to help a random man in trouble, then don’t do it for a woman. My preference would be that you stop for either, if time and circumstances allow. This is how I try to live my life. It requires conscious effort at first, and then becomes habit. So does the way of thinking about your dealings with women. Always checking your motivations, and asking yourself, would I be doing this if you were a man. It just becomes a habitual thought process. It’s one you should develop. But rather then equally ignoring women, along with men, I would like to see men offer equal consideration to men.

    • http://www.genderratic.com typhonblue

      “This is one of my favorite Typhon vids. I was surprised when I first seen it just hours after it was uploaded.”

      Saw. Saw. SAW.

      My god, your grammar! I bet you’re still sucking on your mom’s tit and you have a small penis too.

      I FIRST SAW IT!

      • Stu

        Sometimes I use saw. Depends if it’s cold or not.

      • by_the_sword

        Ex-e-sten-shul.

        • http://www.genderratic.com typhonblue

          Fuck.

      • http://pinterest.com/zetapersei/male-privilege/ Perseus

        Go fuck yourself with a semi-colon, woman

        • Free Human Being

          I don’t often see, but when I do; it’s what you did there!

  • TigerMan

    Bravo typhonblue you managed to articulate and put clearly into words what I have been struggling to express for some time but I’m dammed glad you said it.
    :)

    • Stu

      You can struggle to express it all you like, nobody gives a fuck what you think of men, because you are not a woman. LOL

      • TigerMan

        I see what you did there – at least I think I did! lol ;)

  • Bombay

    This vid reminds me of church. The person who does good deeds to go to heaven does not understand their religion. In this case, I suppose a person who is fooling themselves about their character in regards to gender could be awakened.

    I do not relate to another person telling other people what defines a gender. What is described here is not being a man, but a being a human being who is not a gender bigot.

  • http://marktrueblood.posterous.com/ Mark Trueblood

    I don’t think that was controversial at all, it’s just reality.

    Most men in our culture are still looking outside themselves for the feminine energy that will make them complete. And that, in my opinion, is because our society lacks the understanding of healthy and balanced initiatory processes.

    Within the structures of many cultures, religions, and organizations there is a form of an initiatory process. The way I define initiation is being taken out of your comfort zone and being required to jump through a series of hoops (physical and mental) so that you may grow as an individual and prove your mettle.

    Initiations used to be mandatory for young males in many cultures. It was the symbolic (and often literal) removal of the young male from the world of women and children to the world of men. Depending on the lessons taught and learned during a man’s particular initiation, he may or may not still be looking to mother or women for his self-identity. But at the end of a successful initiatory process, personal growth and transformation is demonstrated.

    In modern times, many religions and spiritual orders have initiatory processes for men and women. And entering the military would be an example of another initiatory process. These may be valuable, inspiring, and worthwhile. Or not.

    However, it is painfully clear that our society still wants to keep men clutching at mother’s bosom. So though we do expect men to transition from child to adult, we mandate that his self-worth still revolve around Mommy (as represented by society’s women.)

    Healthy guidance for boys and men would instruct them that they cannot rely on anyone else for self-worth, emotional well-being, nurturing, wisdom, and happiness. It has to come from within.

    The love, nurturing, and approval granted to us by Mother is a gift, but it is also a key to unlock these qualities in ourself. And because we are not taught that we must remove ourselves from Mother’s bosom and aspire to find a complete male identity, we are always looking for Mother’s bosom to complete our male identity for us.

    Men may push themselves to learn knowledge and achieve great feats, but if he is still seeking approval from Mommy’s bosom he won’t have a complete male identity.

    Women have a need for an initiatory process as well: to leave the world of children where Daddy takes care of everything, find their masculine inner resources, and develop a complete self-identity. As I am not a woman I will not speculate on what this process might entail, except to say that the pedestal society puts women on is IMO a kind of velvet-wrapped golden handcuffs. Men just get handcuffs, but maybe that’s not as bad because our greater discomfort pushes us to evolve.

  • Kukla

    I never understood what manhood is and I still don’t. Good video, but the end there tells me more about individual morals instead of “manhood”. I generally reject the use of words(for myself) like manhood and masculinity because they really seem to have no meaning in my opinion(like “souls” or “love”). Just more buzzwords!

    • Bombay

      Yes. It’s like starting a conversation with – “Do you know what your problem is….” The minute someone talks about what being a man is I walk away.

      • Kimski

        Oh, I got that with “as a woman” and “as a feminist.”

        Immediate shut-down: Talk to the hand with the raised middle finger.

        • Bombay

          Yes. Exactly. Same here. In another thread I got chastised for reacting to the “as a woman” line when the opinion was just that regardless of gender.

          LOL – Or do not talk at all….

          • Kimski

            When feminism goes in, any notion of yourself as an individual goes out.

            I think the same thing happened with the nazis, communism, and the fascists. They only view themselves as extensions of their ideology.
            60 years of progress, and right down into the same old ideological black hole, once again.

  • http://www.avoiceformen.com/activism-page/karma/ KARMA MRA MGTOW

    Out of the ballpark Typhon!

  • gateman

    Took the red pill a few years back. Now fully weaned.

    • Kimski

      Agreed.
      I think one of the hardest parts of digesting the red pill was learning to just don’t give a shit what women think, about just about anything, and come to terms with the reality that the majority of their opinions were based on my value as a provider/utility.

      Incidentally, I’ve been helping out homeless guys since the late 80’s, after having been in the same situation.
      Does this make me a misogynist, since most of them have been survivors of broken relationships with women?
      If it does, it would just be another very good reason for doing it, IMHO.

      • gateman

        Years ago, in my blue-pill days, I traveled to 3rd world countries in Asia and I often used to give money to beggars on the street. There were male and female beggars but almost always I felt a much stronger urge to give to the women.

        I guess that was my chivalrous side coming out – I figured the guys were tougher and would manage and the females were helpless.

        Most of the worlds charities favor women, due to the same attitude.
        Nowadays I only give to male-centered charities and homeless.

        • Kimski

          Have you also noticed how it gives a much greater feeling of pride in yourself in the long run?

          Helping out women is just something we do as men, but actually extending a helping hand to another man in need, will almost certainly guarantee you a friend for life.

          That’s not really what happens when you help out women, now is it? Most of them expect you to do it, and the gratitude and appreciation is ‘somewhat’ diminished because of that. That is if they don’t outright suspect you’re doing it to get in their pants, of course..

          • gateman

            Yes Kimski, it’s a sense of pride and more importantly, a sense of brotherhood.
            Only another man can truly know the isolation, loneliness and pressures that men face in an uncaring world.

  • DeltaHotel

    Manhood…Keeping your rational center when the irrational abounds. Making a judgment on that center, to help or not to help?

  • http://shiningpearlsofsomething.blogspot.com Suzanne McCarley

    That was spectacular! Bravo Typhon, for standing by your principles, and for risking rejection by men – especially since you have doubtless already been rejected by most women. Due to those same principles.

    • http://www.genderratic.com typhonblue

      Thanks, I appreciate your kind words.

      Posting this video wasn’t easy; we all face the void one way or another.

      • https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Voice-for-Men/102001393188684 Paul Elam

        Truth is never easy, especially in a world that runs on lies.

    • napocapo69

      “brava” not “bravo”.
      These are Italian words, and in Italian usually adjectives have a gender … it is the patriarchy! ;-)

      Brava Typhon

      • http://shiningpearlsofsomething.blogspot.com Suzanne McCarley

        Mea culpa.

  • http://pinterest.com/zetapersei/male-privilege/ Perseus

    Brilliant, correct

    However, this begs the question, where do men go upon shedding the maternal identity- its reach so far, wide and deep. It is like leaving your home planet, but where the fuck do you go? ….

    • TigerMan

      Getting in touch with ones own humanity is a challenge for many of us (old habits die hard) but it brings it’s own rewards and there is no need to go anywhere when you realise you are then already home.

      • Aimee McGee

        Agree! And saddest of all, most humans don’t know this.

        • TigerMan

          Yes no wonder Kabir once said “In the water the fish is thirsty. And every time I hear that, it makes me laugh.”
          It is always a good inspiring reminder for me to make my little effort from a spirit of delight or joy not sadness and frustration as my old habits had once perfected through practice! lol

  • Not buying it

    Any man who can’t understand the full , true meaning of the Message in the video Clip, Can not truly fathom the scope & reality of the true misandric injustice that the average male endures, in the past too, but more clearly obvious in our times , I think.

    • http://none universe

      And old times too. (Stopped reading after your comment nbi).

      Yup.

      Chastize men who define themselves by women but then one woman offers yet another definition for men to live by.

      Manhood can be like a personal evolutionary based manifestation. It can be characterized by one’s doings. Not necesarily akin to womanhood whose definition appears to be based only upon a female’s biology of readiness to procreate and lactate.
      Since each man’s personal evolution is unique only to him, when it is subjectively realized a man takes what he is and then manages himself to his surroundings and embodies what he is objectively and accordingly. Hopefully there are some strong principle buried deep within his psyche. If not, they can be in and di-stilled at any good time.

  • Hf

    Was she talking about Oedipus here, to manginas?

  • http://salientsight.com/ergot/ Limeywestlake (Neil Westlake)

    I have come a long way. These days I am way more likely to come to the aid of a man than I am a woman.

    I love men, see. When I see them suffer, I suffer. It is called empathy: in their suffering, I see their humanness augmented and I want to help them in any way I am able.

    The thing is, I can only give what I can and no more. Once, there was a time that my egregious people-pleasing and codependency would goad me to go too far, give too much. It would diminish and unsettle my being whenever I tried to help others.

    Now, I give what I can, but that is it. Boundaries are ultra-important…

    When I see a broken man, I touch him – embrace him if it is appropriate. I cannot overstate the fact that men need to be touched. Try it: touch one today…

    As MHRA’s, loving men and boys is our duty. It is not too hard; many are quite lovely.

    • Aimee McGee

      Damn, missed the up vote on my iPhone!

      • http://salientsight.com/ergot/ Limeywestlake (Neil Westlake)

        :)

  • August Løvenskiolds

    This is an extraordinary gift of truth and selflessness, Typhon, and I’m still chasing the implications of it around the interior of my own skull like the bouncing red pill bullet that killed my slave brain and left the joy of newfound freedom behind.

    Gratitude. Joy. And, of course, Fuck You.

    In the analog world, in discussing men’s rights, I often lead in with the phrase “what a shock that men can be valuable, too”. This works in a lot of contexts – a man acting heroically, a man using consistent and otherwise unremarkable honesty in his daily dealings; a man who stands up for himself, a man who refuses to be defined by women’s expectations but rather, only his own.

    The feminists have to be shitting their pants over the idea of uncontrolled men. How ya doing on those engineering and calculus tests, ladies?

    There is real power in this. Not only did you, Typhon, hit a home run; we can now all set aside the expectations of others and swing for the fences.

  • Klar

    wow, just wow, TyphonBlue

    ok, you realize you just raised the bar

    man, didn’t think a few mere words could ever attract me to a person – how the hell did you manage to find everything out there scattered about and roll it up into something so gawd damn succinct

    got something to live, for sure

    haha and lol – laughing silly for joy :)

  • Cremated Phoenix

    Brilliant, Typhon, I must say.

    Neither painful nor pleasant, but thought-provoking. Thought-demanding. The most fair thing I have heard in a long time, spelled out clearly.

    This is the point often-overlooked, this is why all the social justice antibullying discourse falls flat, because they forget the basics. That we are all, ultimately, the same organic matter stretched over the same dead calcium deposits, and social posturing/performing/pleasing other people won’t mean a thing when all is said and done. It comes down to tactics. Also a sense of equal engagement.

    This is probably where the “offside rule” metaphor comes from. If something is offside to one’s benefit, it can also be offside to one’s detriment, by the same exact standards, and for good or for ill it is offside nonetheless.

    If one would be willing to help a woman being hurt, why not a man? Why would it be so different, and why would it be harder to intervene? Because men stereotype other men along feminist lines…?

    …! Sometimes.

    This society is strange. Sad, closed-minded, over-Christian, neo-victorian turned upside-down…and nobody seems to notice that the US is getting flushed down the toilet like a dead rat.

    and must take pills before foot in mouth

  • Andres

    This was one of the first things I noticed when I asked myself why I was so depressed and ashamed of being a man. Because I had made my sense of self-worth dependent on others’ views of ‘how I should behave’ and ‘what I should be’ and how I looked in their eyes.

    It’s quite liberating to say: “You know, fuck you all quite dearly in the knee. I do as I see fit and just and if you don’t like it, get on with the knee and the fucking.”
    Never depend on the approval of anyone because of something he/she is.

    You alone can determine what you are worth. You are the only person that’s staring back at you every day in the mirror, and whose gaze you must be able to meet.

  • OneHundredPercentCotton

    Every woman instinctively knows this…

    • Bewildered

      To think there are heartless bitches who exploit this and then ask “where have all the good men gone ?”,unmindful of the fact that you need to be a good woman to begin with to be able to spot a good man.
      A good woman knows she has the power to make a man,who loves her,to sleep out in the rain for her sake but SHE DOESN’T. She doesn’t see his vulnerability as a sign of weakness but an expression of trust and true love.

      • Legion

        A good man has more respect for himself to sleep outside on someone else’s whim.

        • Bewildered

          ‘Goodness’ and ‘egocentrism’ are not synonyms !

          First off please remember that that ‘someone’ is not any someone but someone who is special.Heck! the probability is almost zero that she will ask you much less order you to sleep outside in the rain.Most likely she will be someone who will give up her comfort to accommodate you inside.Such people tend to boost your self respect not diminish it and hence should be cherished.

    • https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Voice-for-Men/102001393188684 Paul Elam

  • Shrek6

    Now, I wonder if we can get the feminists to consider if they are still sucking on their mother’s tit and grown into the same type of women, or have they just learnt to be that way, because they’re sucking on some other sheila’s tit.

    Just thought I’d ask!

  • Legion

    In response to the question: I helped him.

    But I was always an odd breed of alpha.

  • JinnBottle

    Yeah, you got a good sense of what manhood is, Typhon, but for all that, it’s a sense at least once-removed. For men to switch indices of what defines them as men on the basis of a 2-minute op of a woman – well, *those* men are still sucking on their mothers’ tits.

    By “walking into the void” you mean the ability to face Death, ya? Whether any given situation turns out to be literally life-or-death is certainly related to, but by no means exactly the same as, situations where a man faces what he knows in his heart will be but the temporary annihilation of his ego, for all the courage the latter may take. There is walking into the void, in other words, and Walking into the Void.

    And it is one hell of a tall order. One that, absolutely and unequivocally no woman I know or have known, can fill.

    Whether living a life that constantly risks and involves temporarily annihilating one’s ego is enough (and I think it is) to define what makes a Man, or not, one thing I do know: Men do not define themselves according to women. You got that right.

  • Keith

    After serving me my coffee the attendant asked if I had a coffee card that she could punch. What do you mean I asked. Well if you fill the card you get a free coffee.
    How bout this I said, stop overcharging me for my coffee, wasting the money on stupid little pieces of cardboard and pretending to give back to me what you call free that belonged to me in the first place.

    This is the mother of all vids you should change your name to Typhon…Boo!

    • Legion

      I’m sure this had a point somewhere.

      • Keith

        Actually it does, it is a metaphor for how we merchandize ourselves to each other. Particularly men and women, the expectations we project on others, that we believe are in our pockets like currency, for future entitlements. Much like an unsatisfied infant suckling.
        And it is so deeply ingrained that you can see it everywhere.
        It would be easier for a homeless man to beg if he could issue air miles. But air miles are a fiction of a future entitlement and he is not.
        Typhon metaphorically removed the air miles and the coffee card and took a great risk to do it. I wonder how many men would or could accept such a statement from their own partner never mind understanding it.

        She should change her name to Boo from Blue because her honesty is heroically scary. I don’t think the men here would accept such an insight from anyone but Typhon. She is a special class of person, you can’t know her without knowing yourself. Few people have that quality, she does. I like her, I think she’s brilliant and I think she should take more risks.

  • keyster

    Ever since I stopped seeking female approval (or male approval by pair-bonding with a female), I’ve done very little to contribute to society – what they call a “slacker” in modern parlance. I’ve ceased competing with others for status and money to buy more stuff. I offer no value to society and they view me as such, so I’m disenfranchised socially and economically.

    Is this the ideal life style choice?
    Because alot of men like me are doing it.
    We’re powerless and self-absorbed as a result.
    Is this a positive development for society?

    • http://www.genderratic.com typhonblue

      “We’re powerless and self-absorbed as a result.”

      Less powerless and self-absorbed then the men who came before you, actually. Less powerless because you recognize your powerlessness. And less self-absorbed because you’re seeking an identity in brotherhood rather then being “the one good man.”

      “Is this a positive development for society?”

      Yes. Healing is more painful then festering.

      • keyster

        But cooperation among men and women (what we knew of as “marriage”), cooperation among men; discovery, innovation and the rule of law, is what formed modern civilization.

        The tipping point is coming where a critical mass of men will eschew pair bonding, excelling, competing with one another for “female approval”, etc. – as evidenced in our urban black communities already, and overall birth rate decline.

        Will this tipping point usher in a new era of peace and love between men and women and a revived appreciation for the contribution men once made, or utter collapse of civilization? If the urban black communities are a harbinger of what’s to come as a result of the decimation of the nuclear family – the future looks none too bright for our next generations.

        What happens when women stop being wives (just “heroic single working moms”) and men stop contributing to society as the result? It’s happening before our very eyes if we bother to look. Our government is leveraging it’s borrowing power to falsely prop it up – as long they can get away with it.

        We’re raising future generations of whores, baby mamas, hustlers on the fringe of criminality and really excellent pizza delivery drivers saving tips for the latest FPS video game.

        • JFinn

          Please don’t take my passion as something directed at you. I greatly value your opinions.

          If society views men and teenage males solely by their impact … If society is apathetic about society’s impact on them … well, then, let that motherfucker burn.

          Let there never be another Vincent Van Gogh. Fuck the society that not only takes his great creations more seriously than his great suffering, but actually romanticizes his suffering. What a sick, sick place. For which there is only one cure: FIRE! (I don’t need to add that the previous word is to be read in an ACDC voice, right?)

          This isn’t about throwing the baby with the bathwater. When males are viewed merely as machines – there’s no baby here. Only bathwater. And if there is one thing I hate, it’s fucking bullshit bathwater. Fuck bathwater right up its ear with a brown spiked dildo made out of fire. Oh wait, water beats fire. *shakes fist* DAMN YOU BATHWATER.

    • http://pinterest.com/zetapersei/male-privilege/ Perseus

      If you could do it for your slavemaster, then why wouldn’t you be able to do it for yourself, if it’s what you really want? If it requires the slavemaster’s whip, then is it really what you want?

      If you want it, take it on your own terms. If you don’t take it on your own terms, did you really want it? The nature of freedom.

      Men should be free, plain and simple, anything else is a retarding disfigurement and mutilation of his essence. Free to choose his commitments and bondages if he so choses, but free nonetheless.

      That said, I do understand what you are saying, keyster, and it is interesting. Although, I will mention that I notice a certain preoccupation with ‘society’, ‘what is good for society’? Does ‘society’ give a fuck what’s good for you?

  • Bombay

    TB – I usually like your writings/vids, but to me this one misses the mark as I try to demonstrate below.

    “As a man, I will give you a definition of womanhood. Imagine, bring into your mind the last time you saw a woman that wasn’t you but another woman suffering, another woman in pain. This woman couldn’t help you, couldn’t do anything for you, so there would be no reason to actually help her. Now imagine that woman who is in pain and remember what you did. Did you help her? Did you spit on her. Did you walk away? Did you make fun of her? Were you the one causing her pain? Now remember your reaction to that woman who was helpless, that reaction is your womanhood. There you go.”

    This is what women do, and it seems that most of the time to the exclusion of men. It seems that feminists are full of womenhood.

    I suppose for women we should change it to:

    “As a man, I will give you a definition of womanhood. Imagine, bring into your mind the last time you saw a man that wasn’t your brother but another man suffering, another man in pain. This man couldn’t help you, couldn’t do anything for you, so there would be no reason to actually help him. Now imagine that man who is in pain and remember what you did. Did you help him? Did you spit on him. Did you walk away? Did you make fun of him? Were you the one causing his pain? Now remember your reaction to that man who was helpless, that reaction is your womanhood. There you go.”

    This one sounds like more of an appeal to womanhood than the first.

    This message hits the mark in all respects it is not gender biased:

    “As a person of this world, I will give you a definition of being a decent human being. Imagine, bring into your mind the last time you saw a person that wasn’t you but another person suffering, another person in pain. This person couldn’t help you, couldn’t do anything for you, so there would be no reason to actually help them. Now imagine that person who is in pain and remember what you did. Did you help them? Did you spit on them. Did you walk away? Did you make fun of them? Were you the one causing their pain? Now remember your reaction to that person who was helpless, that reaction is your state as a human being. There you go.”

    I think this exercise speaks volumes to gender bias.

    • JinnBottle

      I didn’t like TB’s presumptuousness as a woman telling men what manhood is. But I did appreciate her perceptiveness and, especially, her definition of manhood including what mine includes also: the reminder that men are other men’s *brothers*; that men once had affinity with one another as well as competition. The OD of the latter and the dissipation of the former is gender suicide, we’re dying of it, the world over.

      • http://www.genderratic.com typhonblue

        Let me be really frank here.

        I’m not being presumptuous I’m telling you the truth.

        Women define men. There may be some latitude in this in that men can and should reclaim as much of their “word” as possible, but the bare fact remains.

        Women will always have more power over the definition of the word “man” then men will have over the definition of the word “woman.”

        Any woman who denies this reality is selling you something you really don’t want to buy.

        Now I can either use this power I’ve been granted by biology or culture or some combination of both to tell you that men are:

        1. Defined by sacrificing for and benefitting women.

        2. Defined by being better then women. (Thus disposable when they are not.)

        3. Defined by being less then women. (Thus should serve women.)

        Or I can say:

        Men are defined by their relationship to their fellow man.

        There’s no point in denying the fact that, as a woman, I have this power.

        Do I want to have it? Not in the slightest. But what I see is other women gleefully using it to destroy men, to enslave men with bullshit, to bamboozle, to turn men into emotional pretzels.

        So what I want is ultimately irrelevant.

        • Stu

          You do get it.

          • http://www.genderratic.com typhonblue

            Even if men _should_ be defining themselves, the fact is they aren’t. Women are.

            I can whine and bitch all I want about men not defining themselves, but all that does is deflect responsibility from me to them.

            It’s not women’s fault that they’ve defined men in destructive ways, it’s men’s fault for having been defined. Herp derp!

        • sevencck

          “Women will always have more power over the definition of the word ‘man’ then men will have over the definition of the word ‘woman.'”

          I’m not so sure I agree with this. It’s certainly true currently in our society, but I identify that as being dysfunctional. Women have virtually no power over my self conceptualization, because I recognize I am complete as an individual. Whatever a particular woman or society at large thinks is a man is basically irrelevant to me. That isn’t to say I don’t care about women, certainly I do, but I am only looking for a woman who recognizes she is already complete as an individual as well.

          • Keith

            Except when your alone in an elevator and she makes claims against you. You may have the experiential truth for yourself but she has the narrative truth for everyone else. That is power over you.

        • Shrek6

          @sevencck

          It’s true Mate. Even my 87 year old Mum tells it straight. She says women have no right to complain about what men are like, because they made them that way.
          The women are the ones who fill in the blank spots on the ‘blue print’ of every male born to them. These are the building blocks from which we grow and are defined.
          It is up to us what we utilise or discard.

          I guess from my personal view; you may be defined by your mother, and it may be positive or negative, but what you do with yourself as you grow older is how you ultimately ‘define yourself’. We have choices.
          Keep sucking the tit, or let go and ‘go our own way!’

          • Keith

            You sir are fucking hilarious!!!

            “Women define men.”
            “It’s true Mate. Even my 87 year old Mum tells it straight.”

            Bwahahahah!

        • JinnBottle

          ’”Im not being presumptuous I’m telling you the truth.

          Women define men.”

          Oh don’t be silly, Typhon, you nor anyone else owns “The Truth” to tell. You grewup under feminism, which told you that women reign supreme, have a lock on the truth, and so on and on: Otherwise you, as a woman, would never make such claims in a men’s space.

          The way it came to me, and the way I hold it today, is that a man is a man when other men tell or, more usually since modern times, signal to him that he is. The fact that, yes, men allowed women to define them over the last 45 years – ie that there are no men’s spaces anymore, and almost – almost – no men left qualified to define manhood – does not default the actual power to do so to women, only the cosmetic, social, and superficial appearance of being able to do so.

          This is nothing personal, Typhon, from what I know and read from you, I like you: but this last Post/vid of yours is, even as I write, revealling an example of the exact process I’m talking about: *Woman’s power* (and yes, She does have power, awesome power). being allowed to displace Men’s power in a men’s space.

          • http://www.genderratic.com typhonblue

            @JinnBottle

            I find your post confusing. You say:

            “You grew up under feminism, which told you that women reign supreme” (Feminist theory actually says the opposite. It says that women were helpless throughout history and influenced none of it, not that women “reigned supreme.”)

            And then you say:

            “She does have power, awesome power”

            What power does woman have?

            As for why we’re in the situation we’re in, that’s irrelevant. The fact remains we are in the situation we’re in.

            I’d like to know why I should refrain from using the power I’ve been granted–granted either due to men’s negligence in maintaining the boundaries of the male identity or because women always had this power–for the benefit of men?

            Should I refrain because me explicitly referencing and using this power _diminishes men’s manhood?_

  • sevencck

    Great vid, I don’t see how you could possibly lose subscribers? What you’re saying is basically MGTOW, but you’re constructing a healthy behavior to integrate into MGTOW philosophy so that’s great. I deconstructed and refused many of society’s unhealthy expectations of me back in my early 20s and as soon as a guy is able to freely and independently conceptualize his own “manhood,” everything changes.

    You become immune to girls unreasonable expectations, and, amazingly, they respect you more for it. You become immune to another guy trying to “cut in,” it just isn’t a threat to you anymore, she can make her own choices, and they aren’t connected to your own personal value. The way you value yourself changes. You can easily reject a great deal of social pressures, you recognize that earning power was never a metric for valuing yourself, but rather for demonstrating your utility. You recognize that going bald was never a threat to your own independent being, it was only ever terrifying because of an assumed corresponding decrease in status to females. You recognize that the bum on the street isn’t someone you out competed, he’s a living being who probably has alot of pain in his life. You recognize you really don’t need sex to be complete and you stop chasing it. You recognize alot of things when you start setting aside all the bullshit.

    Where MGTOW reaches its limitation and where MHRA becomes important is where the current legal system curbs your ability to explore your humanity independently. If you accidentally get a girl pregnant, she owns your life. This makes relationships very difficult, because if you want to be equally valuable in a relationship with a woman you respect and are attracted to, you soon realize it is simply not possible. You recognize you are potentially surrendering your autonomy and life to her each time you have sex, which is not a healthy expression of sexuality, but a psychotic trauma. Marriage is a poor decision, but really even just living together can be a risky proposition now. If you’re accused of something by a woman in this culture you’re in big trouble. Not saying all or even most accusations are false, but it’s something I’m keenly aware of as a man.

    • http://shiningpearlsofsomething.blogspot.com Suzanne McCarley

      May I post this comment on my blog? I am awestruck!

      • sevencck

        Thanks, of course you can.

  • Adi

    In the spirit in which I take this video, I reject your definition of manhood. The concept has been so beaten and mangled that it’s not only beyond repair but also beyond redefinition. Even trying to define my own “manhood” for myself seems ridiculous at this point in time.
    And I have to say, I live much happier without it.

    I still think you’re awesome because you understand gender issues like few others and you voice them. I greatly appreciate the fact that you exist and look forward to encountering more of your kind.

  • Robert Sides

    Typhon: please put a curtain behind you or something. It’s distracting to see open closets, etc. Why make people wonder what’s in the room? Keep the focus on you and what you say. M’kay?

    Also puhleez move back. You look like a promo for “Blair Witch Project: Part Deux.”

    Now, as for calling men cowards for needing women’s approval: no goodski (though I’ve called men cowards myself). You note the tendency, but ignore both its cause and possible cure (if there is one).

    Men are susceptible to women because, for the most part, they’re raised by them. They’d defer to trees if they’d been raised by oaks.

    At an early, pre-verbal stage, males learn their very LIVES depend on their mothers. Reading her moods and being able to get her attention means survival. Expecting men to stop that dependency suddenly and “intellectually” is like hoping they’ll stop charging lions with farts.

    Unlikely to happen.

    As boys grow from infancy (and some contend in-utero) to toddler-hood, relationships with mothers grow and deepen. Yet even as a baby, a boy ignored emotionally by his mother can die. It’s called “failure to thrive.”

    As he grows, he needs his mother not only physically (feeding, clothing, bathing, etc.), but emotionally. Good mothers meet those needs… which include independence.

    It’s a very, very complicated mother-son dance. It gets contorted when the mother has unresolved issues herself. Then she will use the child to meet her needs, reversing the natural order.

    At some point, too many mother begin offering conditional love. Perhaps it’s when the boy skins his knee playing in a park and other mothers chide her for picking him up– and kissing the “boo-boo”– too soon. They fear he’ll become “girlish” instead of a “big boy.”

    Of course, this fucks up the boy since he learns he’ll now get love when he DOESN’T show it.

    Voila: the birth of “game”!

    That is, he learns to mask needs around women in order to, ironically, meet his needs.

    The mother and others shame the boy for openly showing emotions and/or getting too close to other males. They’ll call him “gay” if he hangs out with other boys “too much” or (gasp!) hugs them. So he gets no comfort for half the world.

    The result? He puts all his emotional eggs in female baskets. He thinks only women can provide love because he’s not gotten much from men.

    It’s not an intellectual choice.

    Some men are lucky and not only have physically affectionate fathers, but ones they can talk to about anything. Most guys, post-Industrial Revolution, don’t. Instead, they’re raised in matriarchies. That is, while Dad works many hours away from home, Junior’s world consists of teachers, nuns, nurses, and so on who are mostly female. Ladies nourish/starve his soul.

    Ergo, a 40-year old guy trying to wean himself from emotional deference to women will feel like a 6-month old facing death. Because he’s hungry and his mother is not around. Because he never had men there for him when he was in need.

    Unmet needs are not intellectually “existential.” They’re real!

    So fuck glib tit references.

    I watched a promo a while ago for a show where a “macho” jock-type guy was trying to face his fear of dogs. As he spotted the non-threatening dog he started crying hysterically. Like a child. Because at the moment, he WAS a child!

    Of course, everyone laughed and thought him a wimp.

    It reminded me of another clip: doctors studying shell-shock during WWI. One physician stood next to a man laying on a bed. The doctor made a noise (maybe dropping a book?) and the guy on the bed jumped up, dove under the bed, and started crying and shaking.

    Again, at that moment he was a child feeling death nearby.

    So, yeah: I’m a bit sensitive hearing a woman judge male behavior when it’s so rare to call females cowards. When lasses use fear as an excuse, they’re called “women.”

    If you want to help men, instead of shaming them while pretending not to, try telling other women to STFU when they mock men for showing human need. Vaginates do not OWN feelings.

    Women giving men advice on how to be males is like gals giving guys dating advice. Why should men do what women never do (take risks, etc.)? Also, why follow advice that doesn’t work?

    It takes courage for men to help other men in need. Because it WILL bring up unmet needs in the giver, too.

    If you got mocked every time you expressed pain or hunger, it’s not likely you’ll feel comfortable helping a buddy express same. It’s why guys fear other guys crying openly. Like yawning, what if everyone starts doing it?

    Well, that’s not a problem for guys who were allowed (nay, encouraged!) their whole lives to be emotionally fluid. But how many guys were? Most men were called “cry-babies” and “whiners,” the better to become stoical, disposable trick-ponies.

    We love if we were loved.

    It’s foolish to talk about “self-love.” Why? Because love first comes from the outside, from our mothers (or other first caregivers).

    If you did not get love simply for breathing (and that love is not abstract; it’s being held, kissed, rocked, sang to, fed, etc.) you will pretty much do anything to get it. I think Erin mentioned a woman in her FV shelter who jabbed a baby with an open diaper pin. The horror was the child…smiled. It’s how he experienced “love.”

    Of course, if he turns out to be Charles Manson, folks will wonder how such an unempathetic “monster” arose.

    Anyway, most men need “encouragement” to change. That is, when they’re scared and in doubt, they need others to “give them heart.”

    Male socialization involves years of learning to stuff feelings (just watch how sensitive and open very young boys are!). So it takes a long time for adult men to change. And the sad fact is, from some it will be too late. Such guys will be so far gone they’ll no longer know WHAT they feel.

    I admit I’m guilty of shaming, too. I’m sure recent post have shown that. I get livid when men don’t act because I’ve seen what 30 years of inaction has done. But I suppose at some deeper level I take it too personally, an indictment of my own ineffectiveness and self-worth. It’s like if I can’t get the movement moving I’m defective.

    I forget that even after Gandhi finished his famous “Salt March,” it took another 20 years for India to be free. And while feminism seems to have gone on for 40 years, in fact that is only the latest incarnation. I suppose the rapidity of technological change gave me false hope that humans could change quickly, too. I forgot that most of the chains holding men back are emotional. That is, even though many MRAs know “intellectually” what needs doing, they still hesitate.

    Why?

    Because it feels like death.

    Again, for some “change” is easier. But for many, their inner mountains trump Everest. Crying feels like going insane. And why wouldn’t it? Men learn they can cry at funerals or when their “team” wins/losers. Even then, they’re expected to “choke back tears.”

    Imagine: half the world is taught to fight a process Nature set up to heal! Shed tears ARE chemically different than those in ducts.

    It’s very, very complex. Trying to simplify it by bringing up cowardice brings out the “fuck you!” in me.

    Because one size does not fit all.

    It’s like thinking a hug always helps. It doesn’t, certainly not to abused kids. In fact, hugging makes them feel worse. Similarly, trying to help other males is not simple. Sometimes a kind word will work. Sometimes money. Sometimes being left alone. It’s individualistic because every man’s life has unique aspects.

    You don’t know a given man’s history, what’s churning inside him. The proximal cause of despair might be a date canceling on him. But the distal one might be that the cancellation reminds him of his mother’s suicide, one he was never allowed to mourn.

    That’s the worst part of being told to “suck it up.” In fact, in most cases it’s the worst advice. Men need to feel unfelt feelings, the ones muted by booze, overwork, etc. A guy’s not going to let go of one trapeze unless he senses another. Why should he? He didn’t fuck himself up. He’s stuck because someone stopped him from fully feeling. He needs another person to help free him: a friend, therapist, etc.

    And he’s not going to try unless and until he feels safe enough. He’d be a fool to do otherwise. And probably dead. Because whatever he’s done so far has kept him alive.

    The danger now is some of those compulsion can also kill him.

    It’s not booze-weed-work-sex that’s hard to give up. It’s dealing with the pain that rises when those “dampers” are removed.

    Having said all that, I need to find better ways to be an MRA. Mocking fathers who failed to fight enough (in MY opinion) for custody won’t change anything. Plus my jabs can’t possibly hurt as much losing their kids did.

    It’s like getting angry (which I sometimes do) when panhandlers hit me up in front of convenience stores. It’s mostly me feeling bad for saying No. Because for all the “free” money I think the guys is “mooching,” I’d not want to be in his shoes.

    Finally, TB: methinks I saw a little of my own arrogance-from-on-high reflected by you. For what it’s worth.

    • Bev

      While I don’t disagree. I would ask the question: Why are fathers important to children. Here is part of the answer in some research which feminists would not like to admit is important because it does explain some of why women can never be mothers and fathers. It puts paid to the idea that ANY woman can successfuly raise children so long as she has government/ex father support (mostly money).

      http://www.insidershealth.com/article/new_research_finds_rough_tumble_with_dad_is_crucial_for_childhood_development/4701

      ”How playing with Dad influences the brain.

      Fletcher goes on to explain that the rough-and-tumble play shapes the child’s brain so that they can learn how to manage emotions, thinking, and physical action at the same time. For children in the preschool area between the ages 2 1/2 and 5, this is a crucial developmental stage. It’s at this time that children learn to put everything together.

      Self-confidence and focus blossom.

      One of the most critical aspects of playing in this manner is that children feel they really can achieve when they sense they can “beat” powerful adults. Their self-confidence and focusing abilities bloom. However, it’s important that fathers also allow their children to “lose” so that they learn the important life lesson that no one wins all the time.

      Playing with Dad has significant implications with regards to how children may react in a world fraught with drugs, violence, and dangerous opportunities. Children whose fathers took time to roughhouse and play with them had far less problems than those with an absentee father – either physically or emotionally.”

      If we look back to history many boys left their families at an early age for apprenticeships. This was generally a live in process where things other than family ties were of importance. They learned to depend and be depended on by men. Women were quite peripheral to their lives until later on. Life was definately not woman centric. We have almost totally lost that aspect of boys/young mens life.

    • navian

      My take is that TyphonBlue is aware of the reality we as men are dealing with as you have described.
      Her advice to not let women define you is a parallel to the Greek Stoics method of differentiating what is yours and what is not or what you realistically can and what you cannot control. it is not rationale or logical to expect to change what another person believes or feels, the only thing we have real control over is our thoughts and reactions to them. The advice to not let women define you as a man is for me a perfect precept to practice.
      I did not take the word coward as she used it, as if it was a simplistic judgement from a woman, it resonated more as an empathy and an understanding of the treacherous trail that we as men face to becoming self-actualized.(heroic?)

    • https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Voice-for-Men/102001393188684 Paul Elam

      I don’t think anyone serves men well by putting a cushion under their ass where it concerns the truth.

      We have always done that for women and look at the result.

      All the pointless critique on how close Typhon was to the camera, or whether her closet caused you to lose track of three minutes of dialog won’t change that.

    • http://none universe

      The following isn’t going to mean very much to anyone save me but I side with you Robert.

  • Groot

    I noticed a while ago when looking at the numerous memes that women post on Facebook and some of the popular ones are the “real man” memes that define what makes a “real man”. Practically 100% of those memes define a “real man” based on how he behaves toward a woman/women.

    When I Google searched such memes, the ones that pop up overwhelmingly fall in line with this whereas what makes a “real man” is based on how he treats a woman or what he does for a woman.

    On the other hand, “real woman” memes are practically NEVER based on how a woman treats a man/men. “Real woman” memes tend to be based a woman’s personal characteristics, how she behaves toward her self and how she allows others (mostly men) to behave toward her. Thus you have memes like these:

    http://images.firstcovers.com/covers/userquotes/a/a_real_woman_avoids-57166.jpg

    http://16quotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/real-woman.jpg

    http://d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net/image_cache/1344479387112491.jpg

    http://cdn.indulgy.com/i9/x7/g1/282882420314283717PTTnRr0Hc.jpg

  • Robert Sides

    > “I don’t think anyone serves men well by putting a cushion under their ass where it concerns the truth.”

    Well, as someone who’s used boots more than once trying to move the non-moving MRM, I’ve learned it’s sometimes (often?) futile. And occasionally counter-productive.

    About all you can really do is say your piece and see what happens.

    Also, sometimes the guy you scream at has taken body blows you can’t see and you come across as piling on. Or a guy’s at wit’s end and your “rallying cry” is experienced as bullying. That is, beyond a certain point it’s bad juju to keep pressing.

    Like someone said, “Honesty without compassion can mask cruelty.”

    You can’t make horses drink water. I keep forgetting that. A lot. I tend to blow my stack because I’ve been at this for decades, saw then (and now) the damage done, and watch(ed) helplessly as men refuse(d) to act. I take it too personally. That’s why I withdraw sometimes. Or take a break from gender issues altogether. Or post and don’t read comments or other feedback.

    Sometimes you have to say, “Fuck it! If your kids don’t matter enough for you to do more than keyboard, why should anyone else care?”… and walk away.

    Little can be done to make guys fight. In fact, many men fight only when their country is attacked… or they get drafted. Then they go to bootcamps to be further brainwashed. It takes a LOT to shape men into soldiers, still more to get them to kill.

    There is no “draft” in the Gender War. So if guys won’t fight, you can’t make ‘em. And of course they lose. What irks me is when they pretend to be shocked when this or that feminist law reams them.

    February is “Dating Violence Month.”

    It’s also the month in which feminists converted Valentine’s Day into another anti-male hate-fest.

    Next month, March, is “Women’s History Month.”

    Then comes Mother’s Day, Breast Cancer Awareness Month and others like “take back the night,” and anti-DV. On and on it goes, feminists forever hammering home points, valid or not.

    And the MRM? Do we have ANY national holiday? If so, does the “average Joe” know about it?

    Hell, even Father’s Day has become another opportunity to bash manhood… and/or get watered down with graduation parties (witness “dads-and-grads” ads in June).

    > “All the pointless critique on how close Typhon was to the camera, or whether her closet caused you to lose track of three minutes of dialog won’t change that.”

    Well, I stuck those “production values” comments in after deleting a much harsher beginning. :>)

    That being said, I disagree they’re pointless. More and more folks are visiting the site. Not having basics down just makes us look lazy or silly. It’s like someone posting pictures that always have something odd about them: like background trees looking like they’re growing out of folks heads. It telegraphs “amateurs.”

    Does that mean the end of the world? Prolly not. Still, I suspect there was a reason Twain didn’t lecture in his underwear.

    While AVFM might not need rear-projected backgrounds of cities like TV talking-heads have, it might not be a bad idea for vloggers to at least minimize distractions.

    IMHO, serious talk gets watered down when friends wander in an out; or someone eats pizza showing upclose mastication; or the host farts; or nose picks; or a neighbor calls; or the presenter flosses; and so on. Not saying any or all of that is being done now, just noting that a modicum of professional presentation goes a long way.

    Otherwise, hell: why not wear Halloween masks or stretch rubber chickens or wear an arrow-through-the-head contraption?

    • Astrokid

      Bob,
      Firstly, I am happy to see a really old timer here, and get to listen to your wisdom. I have been an MRA for about 1.5 years (and an unknowing MGTOW a bit longer), and I got introduced to it during the feminist wars in the atheist community that I belonged to. An anti-feminist there had a website that contained your “Open letter to MRAs” from long ago. :-) And just recently, I was going through the archives of the MM maintained by Richard Doyle at The Men’s/Fathers’ Movement – Present, Past, Future, and I found your mentions.

      During my last 6-9 months of trying to fight feminists in the atheist community blogs, and spread the MRA message, I discovered the underlying psychologies of male white-knightery and female-solipsism that prevents lots of people from seeing through the fog. Female feminists keep the arguments to a very basic victimhood level and repeated lies, and its the white knights who then come out and do the actual battle with us. As an article at AVFM says, the perception is:
      Mens pursuit of justice = whining
      women’s whining = pursuit of justice

      So the numbers (and corporate and Govt money) are overwhelmingly in their favour, and hence we cant even begin to match up their various domestic violence month, women’s history month etc. The best I see is chipping away at the cultural narrative by showing up wherever we can and fight the “guerilla warfare” of throwing facts or ridicule or whatever is appropriate for the situation.. in short FTSU. While this is restricted to online blogs and newspaper articles now, I attended my first feminist event last fall.. a walk-a-mile-in-her-shoes event in my town, and as the sole MRA there, it was surreal. But at least now, I can network with other MRAs online, and decide how to collaborate in each david vs goliath fight in the real world.

  • DeltaHotel

    I liked this post…then it made me mad…then it made me contemplate my manhood:

    Yes, women are defining men more these days, particularly with all the single mothers around. I don’t believe that is all inclusive or has been the case throughout history. One challenge is when men start acting like men in our society they get chastised as not being sensitive enough…

    It reminds me of a movie I once watched based on a true story in which a family was faced with a flood. The husband was trying to save his home and family and the wife was resisting his directions being worried about her pregnancy putting everyone in jeopardy, he hit her in the stomach. Years later she was asked about it and why she stayed with him. She said some men’s blood runs hot and some runs cold. My husband’s blood ran cold; he saved all our lives that day. If he was another kind of man we would not be here discussing this.

  • Steveyp333

    BS video . Starts out saying men shouldn’t let women define them… ends up providing a definition of what men are given by a women