University of Toronto

RIP Earl Silverman – You won’t be forgotten

  • Murray Pearson

    Thank you for a beautiful tribute. I am proud to be your friend!

  • http://manamongoaks.com/index.html Ray

    I am very deeply saddened to hear this news. Here is Earl (in the red shirt) at the “From Ideology to Inclusion Conference” in Sacramento a few years back. Harry Crouch, president of NCFM, is to his right.

    http://tinyurl.com/buoombl

    RIP, my friend. You are missed.

  • napocapo69

    R.I.P.

  • shmiggen

    One shelter for men, and no funding. Yet the Canadian taxpayer subsidizes the federal ministry on the Status of Women, which has no other mandate than to….what exactly? This society is sick.

    Women = Federal Ministry
    Men = sweet fuck all

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/DannyboyCdnMRA Dan Perrins

    Well put together Kris. I seen one of the posters I hung for Earl in Hamilton in there.
    Was damn proud to put it up.

    • http://gloriusbastard.com/ JJ

      Dan,

      Where were the men who he helped? If he helped them get back on their feet, were they not able to raise enough? Or did most of them not show up?

      • Russ McNeill

        Many of those he helped are not in a position to help out. That is why they required Earl’s help. There are no support services for men like there are for women, and often their problems only compound once they leave the situation they were in, because the person they were running from often have retaliation in mind, and a willing court system and police to help them get that revenge. It is this kind of stuff that Earl was fighting so hard to expose.

        • http://gloriusbastard.com/ JJ

          That is beyond fucked up.

          The sad thing is, I just got handed another continuance in my case. Being that I have been unemployed, I will be in a hard lot. So sadly, I know you are most likely telling the truth.

          Women have everything handed to them, and still they want more.

          Why do I have this sense that I want to throw most of them in the situation Earl and his lot were handed?

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/DannyboyCdnMRA Dan Perrins

        JJ,
        I think Russ put it right.

  • http://kevin-wayne.blogspot.com Kevin

    Truly a tragedy. My condolences to any loved ones he may have left behind?

    More importantly, what can we all do together to realize Earl’s vision?

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/DannyboyCdnMRA Dan Perrins

      I am not sure but first I think Earl deserves a decent resting place.

    • Russ McNeill

      Write your MLA and MP and demand they change policies and laws.

      • http://kevin-wayne.blogspot.com Kevin

        Not a bad idea. I was more or less wondering what can be done to bring about the reality if men’s shelters?

        I hear the Netherlands has them.

        • Aimee McGee

          Do we have any Dutch MHRAs who can verify this about men’s shelters.
          Lessons need to be shared if anywhere has successfully launched them

          • http://kevin-wayne.blogspot.com Kevin

            Just a friend in Holland, not really an MHRA.

            He can be reached at http://brinkhost.nl/, his name is Rudy. He does speak English. he could probably point you in the right direction.

  • Howard Gordan

    Excellent tribute Kristina. One more AVfM article I wish I didn’t have to read. RIP Earl.

  • Never Blue Again

    :( :(


    :evil: :evil:

  • Blevins

    Very beautiful video.

  • Roger O Thornhill (George Kaplan)

    Hi Kristina,

    It was with a heavy heart that I watched this video. I’ve been lucky to have avoided the calamity (for want of a better term) that has struck so many men that are now a part of the MHRA. I’m still learning by the minute about the unspeakable and blindly ignored horror that befalls so many innocent men. It really is an eye opener for me. Earl has found peace, and through your efforts and others here who are not armchair/ computer chair MHRA’s like me he will be remembered always!
    Keep up your good work.

    Regards,

    ROT

  • http://FacebookDadsAgainstDivorceDiscrimination-DADD Paul Clements

    I first saw Earl’s name on emails sent by various groups a long time ago. We corresponded by email. When we were introduced, when he came to New Hampshire for a conference, he greeted me like an old friend. And so the correspondence continued, mostly centered on exchanges with feminists. Most recently, he had a blog going on Linked-In. He issued a call for help, because the feminazis were ganging up on him.
    I’m proud to say I answered that call. For a week or two, we were both kept busy posting replies to the feminazi BS on several blog sites. So it comes as a BIG shock to open my email this morning to find that Earl is gone. What a terrible loss! He was a “Knight Without Armor”, a Don Quixote jousting with windmills, a hero for the men and boys of the new milenium. Always a gentleman, he responded to feminist nonsense with dignity, intelligence, and calm reason.
    He exemplified the highest order of fatherly duty and responsibility, he gave his all: time, effort, mind and money, to protect and provide for others. Now, finally, he has given even his body and soul. Rest in Peace, Earl. You’ve set a high standard for those who follow, and will not be forgotten.

  • headabovetheparapet

    Well done Kristina, a fitting video of yet another good man down!
    Perhaps an Earl Silverman memorial section on this site could be started to include others who have taken their lives with a brief description of why, the feminists will just think of it as collateral damage, but we will think of them all as a tragic loss!

  • Robert St. Estephe

    Long term campaign of psychological torture — suicide as the desired outcome of criminal proxy-executed premeditated homicide. It is the perfect crime, one which cannot be prosecuted in a court of law.

    Proxy homicide is the preferred method of genocidal utopian ideologues. Propaganda is its most powerful tool to perpetuate the crime and to create plausible deniability of culpability.

    This is what “social justice” utopianism looks like.

  • http://www.backlash.com rodvanmechelen

    Earl came to Seattle. Would have been 1994 or 1995. Back then we were publishing a ‘zine and Earl came to share his vision for Family of Men. He touched our lives and he touched my heart. We stayed in contact through the years. He made a difference and I am deeply saddened by this.

  • http://none universe

    Regarding the following, no need to up-vote and or respond. Emulation not required. Just read.

    I appreciate each and every one of you AVfMers for, well, you. That you’re here right now on this very sight stirring legitimate interest in pro-male issues. Those who are astute enough to see the blatantly obvious – the men’s side of a tired long overworked and over-milked concept of ‘sexual equality’. Should such an occasion warrant I’d likely be able to further discuss at least one such matter in person. Ahh, a potential comrade, friend. What more could anyone ask for amid the millions of people in existence today who are oblivious to the acknowledgement of, again, the obvious – the male sex deserving to be heard for what/who they are.

    To the man blockers. You too. A secondary like appreciation. Observing your hostility toward a matter that potentially encompasses your chosen determination – equality between the sexes. Your very spoken and demonstrated hostility on display for the world to see. It’s an exercise in patience for sure to share this brief time of temporary existence with you. However, I do pity you. May MHRAs re-align you to your own humanity for it seems to have escaped you. I realize these sentiments will be lost on many. Yet you will some day have to answer to the honesty appearing in or on this site or numerous other pro-male men’s issues sites. If only an acknowledgement to yourselves. But I can assure you MHRAs will not only have to do this for you because of your own inability to connect with greater humanity but will do it nonetheless because of our ability.

    But for those of you teetering on the verge of a final decision toward human worth, come here often to catch the simple vision. Need I repeat again what this vision is.
    Sensing I might have to, here it is – that men, and boys now, from families of people that you haven’t yet met are once again involuntarily enlisted in battles that they haven’t chosen. Men, and boys! yet, are locked in contemporary social skirmishes because, well, because well, that’s what men are here for right? To make life easier for the rest of us. Right? The cost of that just perpetuates another round of the ‘same old’. The very things that we are allowing to further occur to our unborn boys, the innocents alive now, the teenage boys becoming men and the men who have lived and seen much of all this happening.

    Politicians and commissioners of social generated capital (taxation) spending.
    It’s all about numbers, right? Squeaky wheels and grease. And image. We’re at a point where your image, no matter how easily maintained by avoiding an eventual certainty (male issues), can be salvaged by acknowledging half of the population who, not only have incrementally generated more wealth for most nations, but still voted for you despite the hardened refusal to be acknowledged as full spectrum real. A more ornery bunch are about to supply your fold with legitimately obtained facts and figures that will be publicly difficult to ignore. But these same individuals will also bestow upon you reasonable compassion once the details of enlightenment have been sorted through. Some won’t be as immediately forgiving though. These too will you have to listen to. Make the transition to your fuller humanity easier by opening your collective minds to matters that, too, should be obvious – men’s issues as a compliment to women’s. WE’re all in this together, right? Don’t negate the main engine of humanity’s survival – the millions, the majority of men who do not own and control very much of anything.

    Earl Silverman is gone. No amount of post life love will matter much to him now, I’m supposing. (I believe his spirit would be happy to receive the unseen streams of positive thought and affirmation). What mattered to him when alive was his concern for others treated as he once was. It may be that his oft repeated social rejection mattered far too much for him at one given dark and lonesome time. A tough thing to contend with for sure. So much good will stonewalled. We now have memories of his personal sacrifices, his dues.

    Dam, I shoulda stopped at ‘I wuv you folks’ in the MHR community.

    • http://gloriusbastard.com/ JJ

      Compassion is going to be hard to give until certain members of the other side face legal consequences for their actions; and a certain set of ideologies get the unceremonious kick in the ass on their way to the dustbin of history they deserve.

      You see compassion, I sadly still see something akin to Nuremberg.

      • http://none universe

        Hi JJ

        Although not as strongly indicated, “something akin to Nuremberg” could very well come about “…once the details of enlightenment have been sorted through.”
        Full public disclosure highlighting the clawback of pensions and social standing for deliberately rendering deceit obfuscation and subterfuge upon a society would be a component of “social justice”. My compassion extends to relegating these many to the ranks of manual serving staff at ‘Tim’s’ and other such denizens of blue collar patronage. (Once a rightful penance is completed).

        We’re absent one notable dedicated member now but the MHRM continues to expand. The ground was prepared and all who honour Earl’s toil are seed.

        Continued good thoughts will be landing in Earl’s current domain. May he transition well and be free.

        • http://none universe

          Optional

  • James Williams

    The fact that his refuge closed and no government agency or millionaire came along to help out was bad enough. Him dying in the way he did has multiplied the tragedy. Our societies are run by cold-hearted sociopaths. Humanity has lost one of its saints with his passing. God bless you Earl!

  • http://www.avoiceformen.com Dr. F (Ian Williams)

    Thank you Kristina.

    I wrote a thread on the AVfM forum about this man and ask all to visit the link given below that invites your thoughts on a tribute that Morpheus wrote for him. – Thank you.
    ——————————————————————————-

    “G’day folks.

    As you might already be aware, Earl Silverman committed suicide today.

    It is a very sad day for the MHRA community as we reflect on the man himself and his message to all of us his final act of desperation.

    Many years ago Earl became yet another victim of a system of governance that was never voted into power. He understood this to his very being, and while other men around him buckled under it with spent hope he did not. Earl had the idea of a place where other men could go when they were in a situation where their lives were threatened by their violent partners. He never stopped trying to build The Men’s Alternative Safe House in Canada. He simply never stopped, and while those who could have helped him help others watched with crossed arms the man shrugged it off and rewrote another plan for it. He initiated a process of fund raising where you could “buy” a brick for his dream. I see that as a profound example of sharp lateral thinking mixed with great swathes of kindness for others.

    He began working on his dream twenty years ago when the idea of people like you and me not only had no idea about the issues we now fight, but had we ever then we would have had our voices made very quiet and in a very short time.

    Today it is different as we talk on the Internet countless reams of ink that would not be possible when Earl Silverman first put his head down and rolled up his sleeves. He was alone then, and this was very much not the case in ensuing years. He was fortunate to have comfort by looking into the eyes of many others who saw his motivation for what it really was, and that was sheer unadulterated pathos for them, you and me and for all those he knew he’d never meet.

    I never met him in person or online, but I was always wanting to interview him for a spot on The Dr. F Show last year. I always expected him to be there at a later time when it suited me. (When it suited me) That was my mistake I know now, and I will remember this time of his passing as something that it has always been and will always be, and that is that we are too fragile to be for too long.

    The man will never been forgotten, and it is my secured belief that there will be someone out there who will pay him, in part, some respect he really deserves with an important MHRA event bearing his name forever. I do not know exactly what this might be but I do know that right now even in our collected grief that there are some who are talking of such a thing. I wish them well with their plans and they have my support.

    At this time I ask that when you make your comments on the thread that Morpheus wrote for him that you do with a slowness that will carry your words well. The memoriam will remain as a lasting testament for this remarkably compassionate and caring man.

    http://forums.avoiceformen.com/showthread.php?tid=3568

    Thank you Mr Silverman for your work, and thank you for making us want to be a bit more like you always were.

    ~ RIP
    All Staff.
    AVfM forum.

  • http://www.wildmanproject.ca BrianC

    I was composing a letter to Earl Silverman this morning. I took a break and saw this. I wanted to know how I could set up a system to make easy donations possible to him, because every year a lot of family members send me gift certificates and checks I don’t need for my birthday. I don’t have much, but I’d really rather the gifts from my family go to something worthy rather than to a big corporation like Hudson’s Bay or Walmart in gift certificates.

    I was also wondering if he could give me advice in developing a Men’s rape crisis program based on the ideas I’d been sharing recently.

    I’d never contacted him before, but I’d seen interviews with him, and I admired what he did.

    So now I look up from my thoughts and see this, and try to articulate my thoughts. All I can come up with is…

    …fuck.

    Why is it we live in an age where the most decent people feel helpless, and the worst of us are forever ‘empowered’?

  • Tim Legere

    Thank you Earl.

  • Samwise Gamgee

    Earl has been around with us for a long time, swinging the bat for men. I have felt his energy. I am sorry he ended his life…but like Chris Rock says “I understand”.

    Thank you Earl.

    Samwise

  • Tim Legere

    All,

    Below is a letter to, and response from, my local MP (Minister of Parliament) concerning Earl’s Calgary Shelter.

    March 15, 2013

    Dear Mr. Alexander,

    The only Male Shelter for Victims of Domestic Violence (located in Calgary, AB) is being forced to close its doors (see the following link).

    http://beaconnews.ca/blog/2013/03/calgary-mens-alternative-safe-house-forced-to-close/

    As you may be aware on-going studies of Domestic Violence have proven that it is symmetrical in nature (i.e. roughly 50/50 between the genders) as was outlined by Senator Anne Cools in the attached video/

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DP3H0dv_e4g

    Is there ANYTHING that the Government can do to assist with preserving the services for the Children and Men that use the life-saving facility?

    Please let me know.

    Sincerely,
    Tim Legere

    His reply:

    April 17, 2013

    Dear Mr. Legere,

    Thank you for taking the time to write into me. I appreciate your concern and advocacy for male victims of domestic violence.

    I understand that this is an issue that does not get spoken about very often, but deserves more focus. I appreciate you bringing it to the forefront and starting up a conversation. You are very right that this should be a concern to all of us, and that we should be doing more as a society to help all victims of domestic violence. As you stated, whenever there are cases of domestic violence, the support for these victims should be generous and effective.

    For our part, the federal government has a specific program that is designed to provide funding to support projects or activities that encourage the development of new approaches to meet the needs of victims of crime. You can find more information at this link:

    http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/pi/pcvi-cpcv/proj.html

    However, the majority of support and funding for initiatives such as this one come from the provincial government. For more information on this I encourage you to contact your MPP Joe Dickson. He can be reached by phone at 905-427-2060 or by e-mail at jdickson.mpp.co@liberal.ola.org .

    I will also talk to my colleagues here in Ottawa to bring awareness to this issue and to see if they have any additional advice or information that would be helpful. Again, I thank you for bringing the question and concern to my attention.

    Yours very truly,

    Chris Alexander, MP

    I will be following up with my queries with Mr. Alexander and Dickson. Perhaps something positive can still be achieved.

  • GQuan

    As with many of you, the sheer extent of the apathy shown in regards to male suffering is infuriating. I do, however, try to understand it; not *excuse* it, not by any means, but to *understand* it. Righteous anger is essential, but so is empathy for those who have failed to demonstrate it themselves. This site’s own Erin Pizzey has said many times that the battered spouses who were themselves violent and abusive were the ones that she loved most; her example is one we should, I believe, try to follow. I believe that our societies – all human societies – are structured on the basis of male disposability not out of inherent misandry (though it all too often manifests as blatant misandry) but out of the primal desire to keep the community safe and prosperous. No-one embraces evil because they like the idea of evil, they embrace it because they have, in their own minds, good reason to do so. That includes the evil of our misandric societies. If we think of the power that the instinct to protect women holds over human societies, we can see that an historic society affording women few freedoms in terms of movement and opportunity and our own society’s “total license, all freedoms, no responsibilities” attitude towards women are ultimately the same out-of-control instinct; protect women from *anything* harmful or uncomfortable, because (in terms of the unconscious motivation, anyway) women are biologically the limiting factor in reproduction and so incredibly valuable. In times past, when life was a struggle to survive and comforts couldn’t be taken for granted, protection of women was defensive – keep them at home, limit their movements, etc (and yes, traditional restrictions on women were far removed from the “selfish men trying to keep them down against their will” meme that society embraces, but then everyone here knows it was far more complex than that). Today, with our comfortable standards of living, that same desire to keep women protected at all costs is much more offensive – attack anything, anywhere, that might make a woman feel less than totally secure, even if it’s a joke about dongles. The severe backlash against the men’s movement in all its forms, however, demonstrates that the defensive side of it is still motivating our people. Male disposability is essential to this exaggerated instinct to keep females safe – it has to be, because if you need to risk or lose someone in the service of protecting the female (or, at the most basic, the womb she carries), it must be a male, yes?

    Our society is misandric, but it’s not motivated by misandry. It doesn’t *truly* hate men (a large number of feminists aside, but then we also know that while feminists are ignorant, plenty of them are not hateful, while many others, sadly, are) – which is one reason why people get so defensive and upset when you call them out on their misandry (as you damn well should). They’re operating on unthinking instinct to defend their security and that of their society, and that security has always rested on an exaggerated desire to protect and coddle the female, sacrificing her responsibility and dignity for her protection and comfort (again, modern feminism is simply the other side of the coin to the old ways – no responsibility for females, infantilize and wrap them in cotton wool instead), and a willingness to throw males under the bus to do so. By championing compassion for males and an end to male disposability and the callous disregard for male suffering, people like those at A Voice For Men are challenging one of the foundations of human civilization. Reactionaries of all stripes, be they traditionalists, feminists or progressives unable to see past their baser instincts and feminist lies, will oppose you. And they do. We must keep in mind that while committed feminists are lost causes, and will likely never overcome their misandry, the majority of humans, as angry as their callous attitude is, are operating on a desire not to do evil but to do good, and protect what they have.

    I largely gave up on society after years of struggling against its deep-stated lack of care for any form of male need, male suffering or male complaint, and its blind insistence that this is a man’s world rather than a world run for women and a minority of powerful men at largely male expense. But my anger, though still powerful, has lessened into a righteous determination as I consider *why* our people are like this.

    Earl Silverman, may he rest in peace, was a casualty of a set of social and ethical attitudes that must change, and the people on this site are leaders in that struggle. Let us not forget this bravely committed man, but let us also not forget that our brothers and sisters have embraced this sorry state of affairs not out of inherent hate but out of a failure to look past that which brings them comfort and which resonates as good and necessary. To again point to something Erin Pizzey swiftly understood – often the relationship between the concepts of aggressor and victim is far more complex than many people want to believe.

    We should remember: We are fighting a callous, inhuman misandric social dynamic. Our opponents, most of them (the committed feminist zealots aside) are defending their most deeply-held instincts against attack. This is why a peaceful human rights group is facing such backlash and struggle.

    The idea that we should be the “villains” here is maddening and upsetting to us, because we’re peacefully pushing for basic dignity and empathy, and opposing ideologies that embrace lies, falsehoods and hateful, divisive policies. But to many people’s instinctive perception, we’re the “aggressors”; and the challenge is to push back without “validating” that emotional preconception.

    • https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Voice-for-Men/102001393188684 Paul Elam

      Great comment.

    • Xayadvara

      I think you laid bare the foundation of the opposition here – Great Insight!!!

  • STONE

    A great man has fallen. This is truly tragic. Earl Silverman’s death will not be in vain.

  • Near Earth Object

    A wonderful tribute to an astonishing human being—Earl Silverman.

    As another way in which to remember this man…

    A bit ago, there was some discussion about A Voice for Men awards.

    * The Earl Silverman Award *

  • https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Voice-for-Men/102001393188684 Paul Elam

    Thank you, Kristina, for this beautiful tribute to a great man.

  • tom b

    Kristina … great job and thank you.

  • http://avoiceformen.com Daniel Martinez

    It is sad to see a man die, specially one who was fighting for a good cause, that is so uphill that the man ends up dead in despair. I wonder if feminist women in england, they are complaining about pretty girls in a newspaper. Truth is that they could not buy the newspaper, but they want others not to buy it and now there is a Facebook group on the subject.

    https://www.facebook.com/NoMorePage3?hc_location=stream

    Here is the contrast:
    A man dies for fighting a battle that is too hard
    And a bunch of english girls make a facebook page because they want to complain even more about objectification. This is unfair and absurd.

  • http://kevin-wayne.blogspot.com Kevin

    Someone over at Reddit MRA is trying to get attention for Earl in the MSM, even suggesting writing Rachel Maddow about it (!)

    I’m suggesting we contact Lori Harfenist “The Resident” on RT, and who has her own personal Yt channel. Get her while she’s not too big to Twitter back & forth with us common folk.

    Here’s contact info:
    http://www.theresident.net/
    http://www.twitter.com/TheResident
    http://www.youtube.com/user/theresident

    • http://www.deanesmay.com Dean Esmay

      Rachel Maddow? Well if we can get someone like that interested in this without being snarky and condescending there might be some actual hope for the future. Call me cynical, maybe I’m wrong.

      • http://www.genderratic.com Typhonblue (Asha James)

        “Well if we can get someone like that interested in this without being snarky and condescending there might be some actual hope for the future.”

        The decisions of Rachel Maddow have no relevance to the future. The decisions of Rachel Maddow only relate to how the future will view her.

        We are the future Dean. Compassion, good faith and tough love. Not indifference, pretty lies and moral cowardice.

        Most of us on here learn to wake up every day and expect to be the only ones taking the path we’re walking. We expect to go it alone.

        The Rachel Maddows of the world need external validation to do and say what they do and say. They need a world that supports them every step of the way. And the more external validation and support they need, the quicker they will cave when they loose the least bit of it.

        The least bit, dude. The LEAST bit of external condemnation is their undoing. And the least bit might be one uncompromising website they could never shut up.

        • http://kevin-wayne.blogspot.com Kevin

          I really recommend messaging Lori though her website, she seems like she’s approachable.

      • http://kevin-wayne.blogspot.com Kevin

        I only mentioned RM for convo purposes. I actually recommend we focus on Lori. If she gets a few emails on it (you can message her direct from her website) who knows? Actually Dean, I think you’re probably more qualified to talk it up than most of us, so do message her if you can. She seems pretty approachable.

        • http://www.deanesmay.com Dean Esmay

          I’m a social media butterfly but I don’t know anything about this person, I have never seen their show, I actually turned off all the news networks (yes ALL OF THEM) some years ago and refuse to watch any of them. What exactly would you suggest? Just say “hey have you heard of this Earl Silverman guy?” I will if you will.

          • http://kevin-wayne.blogspot.com Kevin

            Shes’ already got 1 tweet and one email from myself. You can mention my name, I’ve talked to her a wee bit on Yt. You probably know where to direct her to more info on Earl, that’s why I think you’d be better at this.

  • feeriker

    What a beautiful tribute, Kristina! I confess to never having heard of Earl before coming to this site, but what an education on his works I’ve gotten since then! I think it goes without saying that the silver lining to this terrible tragedy is that Earl’s work WILL NOT have been in vain.