Historic footprints - Moon landing

From Erin Pizzey, AVfM Editor-at-Large

I did an interview with Dean Esmay recently and while we were working together and I spent time looking at the web site A Voice for Men. As I read, I became more and more convinced that I had found my place. After talking at length with Paul Elam, I agreed that I will be able to write and to join in with the many contributors and readers as an advisor and editor on this site.  AVfM is an inclusive site and after all the hate filled rhetoric I have endured for so many years I feel as if I am coming home.

It is now two thousand and thirteen. Forty-two years ago I opened the first shelter/refuge in the world in a tiny, derelict house in the streets of Chiswick, West London. In those years I had a vision about a woman’s movement that would work for all women in harmony with men.

There were serious issues that needed changing in my experience. I could not get a mortgage as a woman without my husband or other male figures co-signing.  When I wished to get married I needed to get proof for my doctor of my intentions before he could give me contraception.

Abortions were illegal and women were driven into the hands of illegal abortionists or other, even more desperate measures.  Most of the women I knew in my area and some men called themselves “equity feminists” but I was disillusioned very early on when I attended the “collectives,” as their conferences were called.

What I saw devastated my dream.

Those of us on the floor were told that we were to be formed into groups and to choose our names and then to meet in our houses every week.  We were to call ourselves “sisters” or “comrades.”  I was instantly suspicious because I was born in China and my parents were supporters and friends with Chiang Kai-shek.  This was at a time when Mao began his long march across China.

Later on in 1949 my father, who was in the Consular Services, was posted back to Tien Sien (now called Tianjin) and both my parents were captured by the communists and put under house arrest. I was in boarding school with my twin sister for the three years they were captured. We heard very little news and for a time we thought they were dead.

When my mother was allowed out with my brother she told us all about the atrocities, the starvation killing millions of people across China that were taking place. In those big collectives we heard the Maoist women giving mind blowing accounts of liberation for women under this happy regime and then the counter arguments about the joys of Russian communism.

Pretty early on I realized that this movement had nothing to do with men and women working together for equality, but all to do with a schism between the left wing men and women. The women decided to move the goal posts from capitalism as the enemy and institute “patriarchy” – men – as the enemy to all women and children. The schism spread and became a gulf between all men and women.

That is when the women who were on the platform and were leading this movement (though they claimed this new movement was leaderless), identified their chief enemy was the structure of the patriarchal family. The new family would now be the mothers and their children. Fathers were now to be disenfranchised.  Women, as in Russia and China, would become units of production and their children would be sent to twenty four hour nurseries. The communist doctrine has always been to subvert the women first and then everything else would follow.

This is the history of the so called women’s movement. I left and with a small group of women opened a community house that was open to all women and their children and men were welcome by invitation. Very quickly the first women who was bleeding and battered came in to ask for help. Others followed her, but before long we were no longer a community house and our supporters melted away because instead of grateful battered women coming through our doors several of the women were as violent as the men they left and violent to their children.

Very quickly I realized there were two different problems. Women who were innocent victims of their partner’s violence certainly needed refuge but with support could very quickly get on with their lives. But the women who were victims of violence from their dysfunctional childhood experiences, and who had become perpetrators of violence, needed long term therapy.

I knew as soon as we began to receive press attention and donations, the feminist movement would move in. Highly organized, but bereft of attention or funding because they were far too radical, they needed a cause that generated funding. The plight of battered women and the feminist stance that all men were oppressors merged to become their mantra:  All women were victims of all men’s violence.

None of this made any allowance for men or children who were the victims of violence by women, or for female perpetrators that also demanded our attention.

Very quickly they began to set up shelters in America under the banner of that twisted mantra. I was very alarmed and desperate to get anyone to listen to me, which became a source of ridicule.  Men laughed at the feminist movement in the early days and when I tried to warn them they said I was paranoid.

Now I believe we are on the cusp of change.  Sufficient men and women have realized that this billion dollar industry is a threat, not just to the family that has all but disintegrated, but also to the fabric of our society.

What most people do not recognize is that the actual refuges do not benefit from the money poured into this movement.  Most of the money that is completely unaccountable goes into the huge edifice that is publicly touted to concern itself with the role of women.

Agencies across the world, the UN as an example, have been infiltrated with the false new religion and gladly embraced by the women who have managed to create a lucrative women only zone. No men can work in the refuges, no men can sit on any board and no small boys over nine to twelve years old can enter the refuges.

And no men and children who are victimized by domestic violence can get any help.

Click to purchase

The movement to this day remains sealed off to the rest of the world.  So many of you who access this web site have probably faced the same hostility to any questioning and have been branded as I have, as “women haters.”

I have been picketed and threatened, others have been threatened with bomb scares, not just because we disagree with the politics of this movement but because we threaten the future of agencies like VAWA that pour millions of dollars into the feminist pockets who can then continue with their promised destruction of our precious democracy.

Democracy is a fragile institution, depending as it does on the will of the people to uphold it.  We have been fooled far too long and in writing this manifesto I wish to join you on this web site. I am begging you to become ambassadors for family life and the inclusion of men back into the lives of their families. I say this knowing that if we do not return men to their rightful status as human beings worthy of equal treatment under the law, we will get nowhere.

I ask that we stand together, not divided by gender but united in recognizing that domestic violence is not and never has been a gender issue.  Violence in the family is generational and if we ignore the damage done to children marinated in violence we throw away our children’s lives and condemn them to repeat the patterns of their violent parents.

This is the beginning of a New Year. I hope for all of us a recognition that the gloves must come up and action taken. I see our first demand has to be a transparent look at the international funding of this evil empire and thereafter a total dismantling of the big lie.

I am aware that for many the damage has already been done, but all of us have to look to the future and I believe this movement instead of being scattered in small enclaves on the web has to come together so that men and women can speak in one voice.  We are a movement of love and inclusion and the future of the family is far too fragile to continue to stand aside and watch it dismantled.

Erin

About Erin Pizzey

Erin Pizzey is founder of Chiswick Womens' Aid, the first ever refuge in the world for victims of domestic violence. She is a lecturer and advocate, and has authored books on domestic abuse, including the seminal "Prone to Violence." Her latest effort is her autobiography, titled "This Way to the Revolution." She is also an Editor-at-Large and adviser for A Voice for Men on domestic violence policy.

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  • andybob

    It is ironic that one of feminism’s sternest critics is actually the living embodiment of the very qualities of strength, independence and moral grit that feminism falsely claims for itself.

    Erin Pizzey’s courage and integrity are sharp contrasts to the bigotry and opportunism of the violent ideologues she has confronted for decades. Those qualities resonate with her many admirers – present and future – and Ms Pizzey has brought them here, to AVfM.

    Most telling of all, is that despite the raw hatred that feminists and their enablers have hurled at Ms Pizzey, her message remains positive and hopeful. It speaks of restoring men to their rightful places in their families – places that many at AVfM and beyond are fighting to hold onto, or have already had stolen from them.

    The fact that a luminary such as Erin Pizzey has joined AVfM as an advisor and editor is a milestone for this website. It is a powerful endorsement of the credibility that Dr Elam and his team have worked so hard to achieve. Ms Pizzey writes that, like so many of us, she has found her place here. Erin Pizzey has always had a place here – in our hearts and minds, where she has long been an inspiration.

    I hope that this remarkable woman fully appreciates just how welcome she is at AVfM. It is a proud moment indeed.

    2013 just took a turn for the better.

  • Pappy

    What a great start to 2013! Welcome Erin.

  • http://www.saveservices.org Teri Stoddard

    Erin,

    I am very happy to see that you’ve joined the team at AVfM. May everyone who needs a domestic violence awakening have their moment as your words break through their misinformed psyches.

    teri

    http://www.saveservices.org/innocence/quilt

  • http://www.triggeralert.blogspot.com/ L. Byron

    Whoah! Amazing news! What a great start to the year!

  • gateman

    Erin Pizzey’s article reminded me of a recent incident.
    A few months ago at the end of a meeting at my workplace (retail industry) the speaker started handing out white-ribbons (for that well-known campaign).
    I stated (loud enough to be heard by almost everyone there) that I had no interest in wearing a white ribbon as I was against violence against all people, not just half the population.
    To my pleasant surprise, 2 women nearby agreed with me. One of them who used to be a social worker stated that the women she had dealt with were far more violent than their male partners.
    It really restored my faith in the intelligence of the public and how the wool was not being pulled over everyone’s eyes.
    Sometimes it feels like we are against the world but occasionally a ray of light appears.
    Welcome Erin, your presence here is a huge ray of light in our struggle for human rights.

  • http://counterfem.blogspot.com Fidelbogen

    Erin Pizzey, your addition to AVfM is a stunner.

    Welcome!

    http://counterfem.blogspot.com/2013/01/erin-pizzey-joins-avfm.html

  • napocapo69

    Wise words, Erin.
    Welcome aboard.

  • malcolm

    Wow, this is exciting news indeed. Welcome Erin, I’m looking forward to reading your articles.
    Things just keep getting better and better at AVFM.

  • Cumbria

    Talk about starting the year with a BANG!!!! Wow — AMAZING news!!!! I have long been an admirer of this incredibly brave woman.

    Thank you Erin Pizzey for exposing the truth from the very beginning and now, for joining forces with AVfM. We are SO PROUD to have you be a part of this extraordinary, passionate team!

  • AntZ

    You are more welcome than I can put into words. Your courageous fight for equality and dignity for all people is a reminder that feminism was born as a positive movement with noble goals. One day society will re-learn to see the pain of men and boys. You will be remembered and honoured for seeing past the feminist lies and for shining light in the dark places where our world conceals the pain of men and boys.

    You quickly identified one key issue that confronts our movement: hope.

    “I am begging you to become ambassadors for family life and the inclusion of men back into the lives of their families.”

    Once a man learns the full extent of discrimination against fathers in Western courts and institutions, it takes courage to have hope in family life. The risks are many.

    If a man marries the WRONG woman: She is likely to cash out after a few years. With the assistance of feminist family courts, she will butcher his life for a profit. Nothing about him will matter (including his love for his children) except those things from which money can be squeezed. She can leverage threats and violence (as well as false allegations of violence) for even greater power and financial gain.

    If a man marries the RIGHT woman: Virtually all women know that fathers are irrelevant in family court. A man who finds the right woman will be diminished in her eyes the moment he says “I do.” How can a wife respect a man as an equal, when the law regards him as sub-human? Many good marriages are poisoned by the legal disenfranchisement of fathers. Legally a father is a powerless supplicant. Even a good woman will grow resentful when she falls in love with a man, but finds herself married to a doormat.

    In the age of misandry, a married man faces life with only two moves: fold or bluff. It can be done, of course. The trick is to fold on issues that are important to the wife, and bluff on issues that she does not really care about. If he makes a mistake and is called on his bluff, both he and his wife will know that he has no real power. How is she to remain in love with a man thus diminished?

    I married a good woman. Every day I play poker with a weak hand. I live in fear that I will make the wrong call, and she will walk, taking my life with her. How can I advise my two sons to do the same? Collectively, society will fall without family. Individually, my sons are better off if they never say “I do”.

    My guess is 90% of married MRAs instinctively “take a stand” on issues that we actually do not care about. In the absence of any real power, we summon a mighty paper tiger to create the illusion of confidence, assertiveness, and strength (gifted paper tigers on a different path call themselves “pick up artists”). This illusion holds our marriages together.

    I wish you every success, and I will help if I can. However, I will teach my sons to avoid commitment until “equal protection under the law” becomes more than hollow words.

  • MGTOW-man

    Thank you AVfM, for asking Erin Pizzey and thank you Erin for accepting. United, we stand a chance; divided we will be erased.

    Truth will always be truth, but lies rule…that is, until we get sick of it enough to do something about it.

    May Erin inspire us all!

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

  • http://www.shrink4men.com/ Dr. Tara J. Palmatier

    Welcome, Ms. Pizzey!

  • keyster

    God bless you Erin.

    I’ve noticed there’s been a trend here in the US media to refer to “Domestic Violence Shelters” or “Battered Women’s Shelters” as “Women’s Homeless Shelters”, which essentially they are – as police interdiction into the home puts the man in jail poste haste anyway.

    It seems shifting the labeling might mean lost VAWA funding that keeps an awful lot of “Social Sciences” majors employed…and “feel good” publicity dollars from corporate donators. Currently the latest round of VAWA (feminist pork) funding sits in our House of Reps as Republicans dared to ask where the money actually went (close to $2 Billion thus far). Accountability for our tax dollars is part of the “war on women” here.

    All the MRA asks for is intellectual honesty out of the constricted purview of Political Correctness. You’ve always been a soldier in that war, and for that I thank you.

  • InpectorLohmann

    Amazing! Simply amazing. You, Erin, are my hero. Welcome :)

  • Roderick1268

    Best Christmas present ever!
    mralondon.

  • Robert St. Estephe

    As a university student, journalist and intellectual, you will find the historical precedent for A Voice for Men to be of interest.

    Erin Pizzey = Vision, integrity, courage. She is part of a long tradition of honest women who have blown the whistle on the criminality of those who try to hide behind suprematist and authoritarian “theories.”

    For those who have not seen this, here is a collection of quotes of brave women, 1904-1953, of the past who have shined a light on misandry:

    “A Woman’s Voice”

    http://unknownmisandry.blogspot.com/2012/06/womans-voice.html

  • rake

    Welcome Erin, and thank you.

  • ruleofthebrave

    This is so awesome.

  • Scarecrow

    I’m a bit late to the party, but thank you Erin for all you’ve done. This is great news for AVfM, and the MRM in general!

  • knightrunner

    Welcome. It is truly a honor.

  • Robert St. Estephe

    To Erin Pizzey: Please read the AVfM article on 1920s Soviet marriage “reform” titled “The People’s Guide to Marriage.” It will make your hair stand on end — and it might perhaps provide some information useful to your writing. (It contains original news documents from the period.)

    http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/the-peoples-guide-to-marriage/

  • level

    to be honest, i think the damage has been done.

    feminism is nothing but a hiding place for hateful, spitefull bigots, and needs to be dismantled.

    take the shelters, they begged men for help then (money and voices), and men helped….fast forward 30-40 years, when men started getting tired of being called evil, and started bringing up our own problems.

    what has been the feminist response? have they helped? have they even tried to help?

    no, their response has been ‘it’s not our problem’

    or worse, ‘gmp’

    this shit is gonna take a lot of cleaning up.

    • TigerMan

      I’m not sure if you are aware of this but Erin did indeed ask men for help to set up shelters for battered men back then (early 70’s) – the same rich men who were happy to open their chequebooks to help women all refused. So I think we have a problem with alpha men in general as well as mainstream feminists. To my mind both of these groups are fkn dinosaurs as far as I am concerned and getting in the way of positive social evolution.

      • bowspearer

        Definitely Tigerman. I think some MRAs are going to be in for a very rude shock when the MRM shifts from going after feminism (it’s death knell will be when moderate feminists realise that what the MRM stands for is ironically their best chance for true agency and equality) to also going after traditionalism. When that happens, we can expect numerous “enemies from within” IMHO.

        • Kimski

          Personally, I can’t fucking wait, but apparently I’m not alone.

          Good thing to know.

          • bowspearer

            Personally I think the more of us that we can recognise as being either genuinely zeta male or pro-zeta male in terms of female MRAs, the better it will be when this does hit the fan – which I strongly suspect will be sooner than later.

        • TigerMan

          As long as we don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater wrt to “traditionalism”. For example marriage and the nuclear family is still the best environment we know of for raising children. That said there are a host of socio legislative issues that need to be sorted out in order for the toxicity injected by rad feminism and it’s enablers to be undone. Simply by a policy of removing institutionalised male chivalry will do a lot of this work for us e.g. Family courts practice of defaulting to mother custody on divorce. As long as someone is not harming others I think a policy of giving folks “more elbow room” (to quote a wise man) is what will distinguish us from the ever more behaviour restricting feminist influenced society we currently live under.

  • Redfield

    Erin I can remember those days in your opening paragraphs … even a stretch further back to the sixties … there was very little support for women back then! When I was 12 years old my mother and two sisters finally seperated from my father and his various addictions. At 14 I worked every afternoon after school and Saturday mornings and gave my mother most of my earnings to support the family, back then women earned on average 20% less than their male counterparts …
    I can recall even now the outrage I felt for my mother’s plight ….
    I am still caught in the middle of this psychotic discrimination, I now see it coming at me from another angle … Time to crush feminism and what it stands for ..
    And thank you for adding to my comfort for being on this site.
    Footnote:
    At 19 my father had straightened himself out and from that point on he became my closest friend, R.I.P. dad I honour your memory for all that you were, I am proud to be your son ..
    A year ago while visiting my mother and sisters we reminisced about “the old neighbourhood” and how many alcoholic fathers surrounded us, in one light bulb moment it became apparent that all these men were second WW vets, all probably suffered PTSD, history can never be recalled as accurately as the feminist propaganda would have you believe … there is always something left out at the convenience of the recorder!!
    I am looking forward … here’s to you, Erin

  • Sasha

    I’m a big fan of Erin, and this is great news, but there’s one thing I’ve never been able to understand when women from this era bring it up:

    “I could not get a mortgage as a woman without my husband or other male figures co-signing. When I wished to get married I needed to get proof for my doctor of my intentions before he could give me contraception. Abortions were illegal and women were driven into the hands of illegal abortionists or other, even more desperate measures.”

    I’ve never understood this. What’s the big deal with a bank asking for a co-signer if a wife wanted a mortgage? If I was giving someone a loan, I’d want to be sure whoever was on the hook for repaying it was in a secure position and knew what repayments he was going to be. I mean whether anyone likes it or not, the fact is that women have babies and take time off work as a result, and it’s usually therefore the man who’s paying the bills.

    As for contraception, well to be honest I think society took a turn for the worse when contraception and especially the pill started being freely given to single women. There can’t really be any doubt surely that this, along with no-fault divorce, alimony etc. contributed to the destruction of marriage and the family that we see today. Today women can just expel husbands and fathers from their families when they feel like it and still get them to pay over half their salaries. Seems to me we’ve gone backwards.

    Abortion? I’d say it’s not really a women’s issue at all, it’s a human rights issue. Whether you believe life starts at conception or some later point you’d have to be pretty fucked up to think there’s not some ethical dimension to the issue of terminating a human life at all.

    Feminism back in the 60s and 70s really did end up screwing us all over. All that women joining the workforce accomplished was to put up the cost of housing and childcare and transport (because now you’ll need two cars to get to work) and now it takes two salaries to pay for the same lifestyle a single working man could sustain 40 years ago and we’re all working longer and getting less.

  • Robert St. Estephe

    It has been two days since I first read this post and I have to say that, in these exceedingly difficult times, the news of Erin Pizzey, brave warrior for truth, joining forces with AVfM is one of the few things that raises my spirits and causes me to look forward to the battles against authoritarianism we will engage in throughout the coming year.

  • harrywoodape

    It was Erin Pizzey that gave me a different perspective on feminism. I think it is great and absolutely awesome that she will write for AVfM. Elam and Pizzey is a pretty awesome combination.

  • http://www.genderratic.com typhonblue

    This is amazing. I remember reading about Erin’s work 10 years ago and it’s wonderful to see her aboard now.

    Any plans to extend an invitation to Esther Vilnar as well? She’s another woman who’s been isolated by the feminist establishment.

    • http://fightingfeminism.wordpress.com Mike Buchanan

      Typhonblue, you raise an intriguing point. I’ve recommended Esther Vilar’s ‘The Manipulated Man’ (1971) to many people over the years. Published at almost the same time Erin Pizzey founded the first refuge in Chiswick. Both received death threats.

      I contacted her publisher a year or two ago (Pinder & Martin, London, from memory), but he said she’d no interest in getting involved again in the fight against feminism (after so much hassle, not without reason). It’s hardly surprising people get worn out by the fight. We live in more encouraging times.

      Mike Buchanan
      ANTI-FEMINISM LEAGUE
      http://fightingfeminism.wordpress.com

  • scatmaster

    You need to read what this bozo says about her, Paul, and all female MRA’s and I quote:

    Even as I write, a new species is emerging – the Female MRA. This was brought squarely into my focus when I read of Erin Pizzey (a nasty and particularly virulent mutation of radical feminism) joining the ranks of A Voice For Men!

    Seems to me that one female MRA does more activism in one day than this guy has done on his whole blog.

    http://roymovrich.blogspot.ca/2013/01/must-read.html

  • Winstone

    I am a father and I fully agree with Erin Pizzey: feminism is child abuse

  • Sad Dad

    Wow!!! Just Wow I’m still trying to wrap my head around it! Welcome Erin!! As gateman said I see a huge ray of light that didn’t exist before.

  • Carlos

    Such a wonderful development!

    I am a long time fan of your work Ms. Pizzey.

    Welcome!!

  • manicbranic

    I wonder if the SPLC will label Erin Pizzey as a violent hatemongerer now, given this latest development?

    • http://www.deanesmay.com Dean Esmay

      Either that or label her a stupid dupe or a liar or a traitor. Anything other than an intelligent, thoughtful, brave, strong, admirable woman who has done more to help victims of domestic violence than anyone alive.

  • http://daddys.blogg.se Joakim Ramstedt

    Thank you Erin for these words.

    I took the liberty to translate your fantastic article to swedish and published it on my blog.

    http://www.daddys-sverige.com/3/post/2013/01/ls-erin-pizzeys-manifest.html

    As a father who have been fighting the hopeless fight in Sweden for more than six years now, it was heartwarming to read your manifesto. I gives me hope. If you ever need help with translations into swedish let me know. We are as you are all aware also suffering heavily under the evil empire you describe.

    More about that and me in my previous articles here. http://www.avoiceformen.com/author/joakim-ramstedt/

    We are a lot of men and women here in Sweden that will stand with you in the continuous struggle for freedom from this evil movement.

  • Kazzi

    This is great news.. and welcome. Erin for all that you started and for good, it is ashame it went the way it did.

    For what you have said it reminds me of what I saw in the movie Pursuit of Happyness, where Will Smith with his son goes to a shelter and the women says ‘Sorry you cant come in but your son can’. I don’t think too many actually took notice of this and many would think, that wouldn’t happen, but it does.

    Domestic Violence happens to both men and women.

    I am sick and tired of all preferential treatment just going to women.. and I can vouch for that in my workplace. I am still recoverying from shoulder surgery (due to my work) and rather than be given my old job back (warehousing), they have found me office work to do.. yet a guy who had similar surgery was not offered this. It bloody annoys the heck out of me of when this is done. I did NOT ask for the new placement it is what they offered me and unfortunately I have to take it. But as soon as I have more strength back in my arm/shoulder I will be getting back to what I was employed to do.

    But once again.. WELCOME Erin, great to have you onboard.

  • infowarrior

    “Very quickly they began to set up shelters in America under the banner of that twisted mantra. I was very alarmed and desperate to get anyone to listen to me, which became a source of ridicule. Men laughed at the feminist movement in the early days and when I tried to warn them they said I was paranoid.”

    41. He who exercises no forethought but makes light of his opponents is sure to be captured by them.

    -Sun Tzu

  • Greggore

    Thank you for understanding and listening and of course your statement and personal history. In general all I ask is for an equal world and equal humanity. You are one a many humans (men and women) who believe in equality and how feminism has mutated into the “death or servitude of men” mission.

    I am a husband, father and son to some of the most beautiful and kindest women the world will ever see and I love them for that. I will be their protectors as long as I can and I am happy to have their love and respect. However I have seen far to many friends lives ruined by the 1% women who are violent, manipulative and plain evil (just as there are men) and in the end some have not survived. there is little to no support, respect or belief for these men and I wish to help bring forth the truth that both Men and Women are capable of evil and than feminism’s real mandate is to dominate.